The Commercial Break - TCB Classic: The Frankie B Tour Agency

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

EP923: Bryan & Krissy haven't heard from their favorite muse in many months! It Seems Frankie B has just disappeared or has a new girlfriend he is hiding from the world. Or, maybe Frankie is living out his dream to a travel blogger? He is very talented in that way. Let's look back on Frankie's one and only travel review...... Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this episode of the commercial break. You know, it's been a hell of a long time since Chrissy and I have heard anything from our bread and butter muse. The guy who pretty much put TCB on the map, if the map was very small and had a population of like 10th. But regardless, that guy, Frankie B, has nowhere to be found. We've heard nothing from him. We have no idea where he is. He is not putting out new content. Which makes Chrissy and I believe that he's probably got a girlfriend telling him,

I'll be damned if you're going to put out any of those videos while you're with me. And that's okay, Frankie. I wish you nothing but love. I hope everything's going swimmingly for you. But the other day, flying home from New York, I happened upon a commercial break episode, a very old one of Frankie B. And I thought to myself,

let's do a best of on Frankie B. So here you go. While Chrissy is in Memphis and I am in New York, you get old Frankie B. Here's one where he was review. He became like a travel reviewer for, He did one video on a trip that he took somewhere in Mexico. Not a particularly nice place, but he does an excellently shitty job of reviewing the location where he's staying.

So here it is Frankie B in Mexico for you. And we'll be back live next week with new episodes, streaming, and on the RSS feed of The Commercial Break. The next episode of The Commercial Break, starts now. Yes, sir. Another episode of the commercial break coming at you live from the TCB Studios

located somewhere north of Atlanta. I'm Brian Green. This is my good friend, Chrissy Haudley. And best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and super excited because it is your birthday week.

Yes, it is. Look at that. How young are you, may I ask? Because my mom told me it was polite to ask a woman. I don't know. I'm 29 forever. 29 forever. Is that the age you'd want to be stuck at?

29. What age would you want to be stuck at? Maybe. Had a groundhog's day situation. Yeah, maybe we'd be 29. 29? I think 33 would be mine. 33 P?

Yeah, 33 P. It falls right. It falls right in there. Because, you know, once you go pee, you never... Once you go pee, you never know what you... No, all the years are good to me. Yeah. Well, you look good.

Thank you. Whatever age you are, you look fantastic. Not a day over 10. I'm like the girl that's aging backwards. Seanorae. Sean A Lee. She just doesn't age. She just doesn't.

She's dating, by the way, now. It's very interesting. The guy did not know what she looked like before he met her. Right. That's a little bit of a surprise. Instant connection. I'm a little suspicious of the guy. But okay, whatever.

All right. So it's your birthday week. And I've decided to start a new tradition here at the commercial break. On our birthday weeks, it's not, you know, this won't fall. what people are listening whenever they're listening, they may not be listening on your birthday. Sure. But we are going to have a Google birthday.

Okay. We know the Chrissy Haudley that's sitting in front of us. The audience has now had 150-some odd episodes to understand who you are. And while many will complain that I'm the only one who talks on the show, while many wish you heard more of you, fuck you. We, I know who you are. Yes. Hopefully after all this time.

this time. But do we know what the other Chrissy Haudleys around the world are doing? No. It's your Google birthday, Chrissy. Are you ready? Are there other Chrissy Hotties? There's only one. There are many Chrissy and Kristen and Christies. So I just look for Kay Haudley. It's basically what I did. Because if you actually, if you Google Chrissy Haudley, it's pretty much you that comes up now that we have all this awful content that comes. I mean, we're never, I hope you don't plan on getting another job after this. Because I don't think I could. Yeah. Because, you know, the D.D. Cantor episode is not what you want your future boss to hear. Maybe it is.

If they take it's funny. Yes. Sir, your balls have impeccable taste. Is that a 1970, ma-mong? Is that a ma-mort? Excuse me, sir. Would you like to sniff? No, no, no, no, sir.

Straight to my balls, please. I'm going to put my balls on the decanter and let it wash over. Swirl it around. Swirl it around. Both nuts are involved. On my right nut, I get a hint of earthiness on my left nut. Just a bit of sheep shit. I had someone tell me that once in a tasting.

Sheep shit. Sheep shit. What do you call it? Sheep do or sheep manure or something like that. We were at the Silver Oak Winery, I think, in California. And he's like, do you notice some like, I don't know. I don't know what he called it. Sheep essence?

Yeah, sheep essence. Sheep essence. Do you know some sheep ass in there? Like, too. He was actually trying to tell us with there was hints of sheep shit in there. And I was like, this is not for me. I got to get going. Chrissy Hodley's around the world are doing the following things.

Okay. There's a nurse that has been working during the pandemic to save lives. Good for that Kaye Haudley. That Kay Haudley is kicking ass. Yeah, nice. She seems a little stressed out about life. I'm not going to give you. any identifying information.

She seems a little stressed out about life. And she wishes everybody would get vaccinated. Right. But Kaye Haudley is saving the world. Good. Good girl. Kayeodly is also a wedding photographer in the Northeast. And it seems like she's mainly, I don't know.

Her wedding style seems to be soprano-ish, if you don't mind. Like, like mobsterish. Like, like, it just seems like there's a lot of opulence and a lot of, I don't know. Over the top. I see, I flip through some of the pictures. and I feel like there's a lot of characters in there, if you know what I mean. Yes. Sorry, Haudley.

I'm going to call you all of you, Haudley. I'm sorry, Haudly. I don't know who you are. I'm just making you some assumptions based on your available social media feed. You work at the Fed Reserve. Oh. Counting money, I'm assuming. Nice.

I wish you had that job now. I visited the Reserve here in Atlanta. And what did they have to say? They had everything to say about money. Yeah. It was good. It was a good little tour. I didn't even know with the Fed Reserve.

does. I mean, I don't think anybody does actually. They print the money. I know the, I know they print the money. You can get those bags of, you know, the dollars. Ripped up dollars. You know, can you paste them back together? No, I don't think so. I mean, you can take, people take a ripped dollar bill. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But not ripped into like 50 pieces. I don't know. I think we might. Plus it's telltell signs because it's like perfectly. Oh, it is? Yes. Shredded. Well, I mean, listen, I think this might be a job for one of the sack pack. We can just get them to take a Fed Reserve tour every couple of days, bring back the

cash, tape it together. Whatever they can tape together, we'll give them a 10% cut. Okay. Yeah. Probably take them three days to put a dollar back together. Right. I don't think of Georgia Washington is like, ah. Uh, sir. You are a doctor. Well, of course I am. Of feet. Okay. Okay. A podiatrist. What a weird thing to be a doctor of, don't you think? Yeah. I mean, I know you need them. I know you need them. I know you need them. I know you need those feet. But a podiatrist, I remember the old Seinfeld episode. Some people may have a calling.

Some people might have a calling or a fetish. Right. That can be true. You know what show that I cannot watch on TLC, the two shows that I cannot watch? My feet are killing me or Dr. Pimple Popper. Oh, I can't watch the Pimple Popper. What an awful fucking, and I know one of the girls who actually put this show on television. And it's what an awful fucking show.

Yeah. If we're eating dinner and the TV happens to be on. on TLC and one of those commercials comes on, I have to run to turn off the television because I'm going to fucking throw up. That's an awful television show TLC. You should take it off. I haven't even watched it. Just based on the name, I'm not watching it.

You know, some people like that. They're into that. Yeah. Yeah. Let me pimper. Let me pop your black. No. No.

Don't get away. Just don't. Leave me alone. What are you doing? You're so weird. Or you've got to sit on your back. Let me get it. No.

No. You're fucked up, man. You're fucked up. You like to see people suffer for no good reason. And then you like to watch the carnage. Unbelievable. It's podiatrist. Pah.

Yeah, but now this lady's like taken on, like, massive size, like, you know. Okay. I don't know what you call it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, someone's got a basketball on their head. Yeah. And she, like, takes up scissors to it.

Don't tell me. Oh, Chrissy. It's fucking disgusting, man. But I think the most impressive thing that Kay Haudley has. done in history is the following. Are you ready for this? Okay, I'm going to share a little video with you. So let me get this set up here. We're here in the TCB Studios. YouTube.com slash the commercial break, like and subscribe. I think one of the more impressive things that a Kaye Haudley has ever done is this. I'm going to let Walter Cronkite talk about it. Are you ready?

That's exciting. Almost two months ago, New Jersey ordered state little league teams to allow girls to play. But the civil rights order is met with resistance, and now the state says it wants to get a court order. Sylvia Chase reports on one 11-year-old New Jersey girl who's trying to play Little League ball despite the controversy. Any day the sun is shining, winter or summer, you'll find a baseball game going on in Kristen Holtley's backyard in Marlborough. You are one of the first young ladies to play. That's right. One of the first young ladies to play organized baseball with the boys after the,

civil rights, uh, the civil rights movement and the Supreme Court's order that women and men be treated equally including in some of these sports. I don't think it's called, I think Title IX came later. Okay. But you were one of the first young ladies in New Jersey. Having the way.

Having the way. I think this is so impressive. I love it. I love it. Kristen's mother says that when this all began a few years ago, the boys didn't want a girl in their game. Wait a minute. You have to provide.

He doesn't catch her. No. Michael, get back. But Kristen is too valuable a player to exclude. And this spring, when her playmates go marching off to the previously all-male little league, Kristen and Taylor. She's going to play for the San Francisco Giants. Nice.

I love this story. This is so cool to me. Very cool. So I read about this young girl. She's a super impressive. I mean, there's a lot of news about her then. I don't know. I didn't find too much about her now.

Where is she now? She is still alive. I assume. she is. This is just back in the 60s. So I assume that, you know, she must be in her 70s or maybe even 80s now. But this young girl fought to play backyard baseball, fought to play in Little League baseball with the boys. And just because she wanted to for no other reason. And she's good. And she's good. The guys want her because she's a right fielder and she can play shortstop. And she switch hits. This is the girl. Yeah. This is the girl that you want.

Chris and Hohley, you are impressive across the world. Thank you so much. And thank you for your contribution to society. I just want you to know that without you, I'm not entirely sure what we would do. I'm happy to help. Well, so. I'm glad you didn't find any like mass murderers. Oh, no, but I found a ton of porn. There is a ton of porn. There is a very famous porn star. Really? The last name Haudley. She goes by like Kea Haudley or something like that. Let me tell you something. Haudley is an interesting porn name. It is. It's not, I think you would have changed. Well, I know you. So for me, it's like, I'm not watching any Haudley.

That's just not it. However, I did find one grandma named Haudley that was doing porn. Oh. And let me tell you something. Again, a pioneer. A pioneer. And one of the more disturbing images I've ever seen in porn was her whacking herself off in a bathroom. I'm just saying, if you're into grandma porn and that's your thing, cool, man.

But I'm not in any way shape for four. Why did you watch it? Okay. You want to do a little, you want to see how well I know you? Yes. Let's do a little best friend quiz. Yeah, I haven't looked at these ahead of time, so I don't know. Okay.

I just slapped him on there. When is your birthday? Your birthday is 19th of February. How many brothers and sisters do you have? You have two sisters. What is your special talent? Podcasting. And hula hooping.

Hula hooping. I did not know that. You can hula hooping? Oh, yeah. Why have I never seen you hula hoop? I don't know. We haven't been to Bonaroo. Of course, I was.

I think we were a little too preoccupied. Yeah. I was too busy stealing beer. Right, and then driving my car home. Yeah, oh, my God. Remember when I walked into this, for those of you that don't know, maybe not heard the story, there was a band called. Yes.

What was the name of the band? Moon Taxi. That's right. Band called Moon Taxi, who you may or may not be familiar with. Yeah, great band. And they were also at Memfo. I didn't have a chance to apologize about the beer that I saw. They came to the Memfo.

They came to the TCB tent. Oh, yeah. That's right. They came to the TCB10. And you didn't know who they were. I had no idea who they were. They were there videotaping and they were talking to me and I, and then they walked away and it was Moon Taxi.

So for the second time, I have disrespected Moon Taxi. But Moon Taxi was at Bonaroo. Chrissy and I were backstage in the artist area at Bonaroo because Jeff was doing some work back there. And I wanted a beer and the VIP, the special VIP VIP beer area had a huge line to it. And it was like, you know, a mile away. It's 900 degrees outside. And so Jeff says, oh, don't worry about it.

Head into that trailer. Right there. And tell him you're with Jeff, you know, Jeff Bransford. Yeah. And, you know, that's Moon Taxi. He says, that's Moon Taxi. So I thought Jeff said, tell him you're with Moon Taxi, Jeff from Moon Taxi. So I walk into the place with a swagger.

It's a guy at the front door. There's a huge cooler, right? I can see it in the middle of this trailer, like this, you know, trailer where the artists are hanging out. Moon taxi is hanging out. So there's a guy at the door and he's just kind of standing there with a beer and I can say, hey, what's up, man? He goes, hey, what's going on with you?

And I'm like, nothing. I'm with Jeff from Moon Taxi. He told me I'd come grab a few beers and he's like, Jeff from Moon Taxi. That's right. That's right. You heard me correctly. Thanks, buddy. Thanks, buddy.

Thanks for checking in, but I already got my credentials. I don't think these aren't the droids you're looking for. That's using the force. And so he says, okay, sure. And he let me go in and grab a couple of beers. And on the way out, and he goes, you said you were with Jeff? And I go, Jeff from Moon Taxi. That's right.

Thanks for the beers. I'll be back later for more. And he just kind of stared at me. Little did I know that the guy standing at the door was in the band Moon Taxi. And there's no Jeff and Moon Taxi. He just probably was like, this guy's got balls. I'm going to see how this plays out. Walk confidently and act like he was.

know what you're doing. I actually act like you know what you're doing. That's the number one rule. If you have to sneak backstage somewhere, pretend you know what you're doing. Just don't look anybody in the eye. I'm scared. Like, where am I supposed to go? Did you get busted?

Okay, what's the main thing I do in my free time podcast? You like to work out? You like to walk the belt line? I do. I do. Yes, all of those things. What is the main thing I don't like about myself? Hmm.

That's interesting. What is the main thing that you? don't like about yourself. I am going to say, uh, actually, I don't know. I don't know what you're super insecure about. Or I don't want to share it here on air. How's that? We'll move on to the next one. I practice self-love. You do practice self-love. But, you know, you could turn it into one of those interview questions, you know, like, what's the worst thing about you? I'm just too organized. I'm too on time. I'm too punctual. I am too sexy. Which football team have I supported since I was young?

The Tennessee Volunteers. That's right. That's where I went to school. There you go. Who is my celebrity crush? Huh. Who is your celebrity? I don't even think you know that.

Jefframoon taxi. Jeff from Moon taxi is super sexy. Here he is. What's your greatest fear? I think your greatest fear is that this podcast doesn't work out. You have to go back and get a job. That is true. That is one.

And then I also have a fear, you know, this, of anything flying off the back of a truck. That's right. Yeah. On the highway. Who is your worst enemy? Hmm. Who is your worst enemy? I don't know.

What is this? A superhero movie? Who is your worst enemy? What a childish question. Clark Kent. Yeah. Acto spider, whatever's name is. You know, I can think of a few people you'd probably dislike, but I wouldn't say they're your worst enemy.

Yeah. Okay. Now I'm going to go straight to round four. You ready? Okay. Try to help, be stoop. Nice. That just popped on.

That was awesome. I love how our machine just randomly generates noise. It does. Tea or coffee, I think you would rather drink coffee than tea. Chocolate or ice cream, I think you would go chocolate. Day or night, night. Mm-hmm. Going out, staying in, you're going out and a staying in kind of girl.

Yeah, there you go. You would enjoy either of them. Summer or winter, summer for sure. Savory or sweet. I'm going to say savory. Yes, you are correct. Pizza or burgers. I think you'd probably enjoy a burger more than you would pizza.

I like both. You like both? Okay. Music or movies, music for sure. Mountains or beach. I think you'd rather be at the beach any day of the week. I like the mountains a lot. Yeah, I know.

But I'm heading to the beach. Yeah. Yeah. Early bird or night owl. Early bird. Early for Chrissy is 1130. So there you go. It's my body's natural rhythm.

It is your body's natural rhythm. It's the rhythm of the night. Stay up a little later. Get up a little later. This is the rhythm, Kristen, hold. Whoa. Okay. The prizes don't stop there.

The surprises don't stop there. Okay. Because I love you. I love you. And I know what kind of person. you are and I know the things that you like and the things that you may not like, I think, for the most part, right? I don't know you like Jeff does.

Of course, he's your partner. He's going to know you best. But I know that you like what some of our audience members super dislike. That is why today I present to you a special treat, maybe a little bit too soon, but because it's your birthday, I'm going to break it out. A Frankie B travel review. Yes. Are you ready for this?

I mean, I just can't have enough. La Concha, Renaissance. Marriott, San Juan, Puerto Rico. This is his new job now is he's a travel reviewer. This is his new job. He's a travel agent. That's right. He is a travel agent.

Are you ready for this? Okay. This is Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. This is as good as it gets, my friend. Okay. Thank you for this present.

You're welcome. Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up. even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me, or Chrissy, at 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212 433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us, and we'll text

your right back. Promise. Then head over to TCB Podcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Incredible, isn't it? It is. I'm in beautiful, sunny, San Juan, Puerto Rico. And as always, when I go on vacation, I always like to give my review of the whole... Okay. He is sun. deeply. Okay.

You have got to go to YouTube.com slash the commercial break. If there is anything that I have ever told you, if there's any reason, if you've been waiting to go to YouTube. com slash the commercial break

for any reason, it's not just so I can get the subscribe, please subscribe. It's because I want you to see Frankie B. in this travel video. He is literally a leather tomato. Yes.

I know. It's like a mix between burned and tan. I know. And the best thing about, the best thing about Puerto Rico is the sun. And I have been standing.

directly on it. He's flying close to the sun. That's right. They have a tanning bed downstairs. What I do is I go out for 12, 14 hours a day, and then I come back in. I use the tanning bed to get that dark. Seal it in. That's right.

You want to get that. It's like a wax coating. This is how I'm going to look when I'm kidding or whatever. Those glasses are awesome too. He looks good, man. He does. He does. He's all tatted up as well.

He looks good. Yeah, he's tatted up. I think he's mafia. I think we're going to get murdered that one day. I'm going to walk out the door and someone's going to be like, Frankie Bree says alone. Someone's going to take a baseball bat to the back of my head. That's for La Concha.

I know. Break my leg. That one's for salons suez. Yes, I can see a hit out on you from Frankie. I was talking to a fan of ours and a friend of ours, Allison and her husband. We had dinner the other night. And they were laughing so hard about the Salons Suisse. Swees.

Sweet. Look, if you're looking to get into a franchise. They can't lose. Just Google. I'll put a link to it in the video. Mr. Franchise. Frankie.

Frankie. This is Mr. Franchise. You're an asshole. Sure. Don't worry about all the big money. an advertisement over here at Mr. Franchise. Go with Salon Suisse.

You'll have Frankie's face posted on the back of a bus. Running down the highway because that sells franchises. Right. And to go into a remote location on a farm. Frankie. I like your strategy. Go where no one is. You won't have.

have any competition or customers frankie tell in the facilities that i'm at that way if you're interested in going on a trip um and you find this video useful or helpful you know what then i did my job my name is frank bernardle thank you all for taking time on your busy schedule in watching this video anybody that has a busy schedule is not watching this video It's 18 minutes long of Frankie walking through the resort making other people uncomfortable. He just loves being on camera. He just does. And I got to give it. I just, you know, I got to say.

Follow your heart, Frankie. When we first started the whole Frankie B thing, right? Which I know. It fuck you, man. You got to love Frankie B. If you're a TCB or you got to love Frankie B because it's just such great. It's not meant to be funny, but it is funny. And Frankie is unlikable, yet extremely likable.

And you want to hate them, but you end up. of loving him. He's like a good character and a murder mystery. It's like you're rooting for the you're rooting for the away team basically. Frank, I've come to love Frank. I feel like I know him. Yeah, but I don't, I don't want to meet him because I know when I meet him, then it's going to be all over. Yeah, then he's going to go, let's do videos together. And I'm going to be like, I got an idea. Let's do a whole episode of DCB with me on the phone. And I'm going to be like, no, that's not that funny. You just keep doing you. And then I'll, yeah, you can do a whole. show about you after you do your own video.

Yes. Video informational, educational, subscribe to this channel, so you don't miss my upcoming videos. Rock it. Another masterpiece of editing. She's like a George Lucas in the editing room. So just to describe how that does happen.

He went from walking on the beach, shirtless, sunglasses, hair slicked back to all of a sudden, two seconds later, he's taking off in a call. But his hair is dry. He's got a shirt on. It's great editing.

No segue, no noise, no nothing. If you like this video, subscribe. Rang! Oh, sorry. Yeah, he's got a new girl there. Wow. Oh, yeah. Fitness.

Oh, yeah, get it. That looks like me at the gym. Whoa. Who's that? I don't know. There's a beautiful girl walking. There's some grooming. There's him parachutes.

That's a nice looking suit, Frankie. So the hotel itself, I'm going to get out of the sun so I can scan you the hotel. Okay? Look. It's just a normal hotel. Let me take a look. He's on the beach, by the way, in case you can't hear the obnoxious waves that are in the background. But he says, let's take a look at the hotel.

And he scans the phone. It literally looks like a motel six. It's white, but it's not cold. Light from years of wear and tear. Here's a hotel. It sounds beautiful. Is it, Frankie? The outside of the hotel is, it is, it is dated, okay?

Hello. There you go. At least you recognize. But then again, you know, who in this video is not dated? But the inside is very, very, very, very beautiful. The beach, okay, the beach is absolutely incredible. Got the palms that you have several pools. And as we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more of the facility.

He's setting you up for a long video. As we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more about this. I'm going to describe more of what's on the beach that you can see. Yeah. The beaches you can see, it's beautiful. There are some palm trees. Here's some sand. There are a couple beach chairs.

Do you see that water down there? That's the ocean. Let's go take a look at the ocean. I'm going to show you what a wave is. Come on down here. Thanks for tuning it. He's very informative. As we get more into this video, I'm going to show you more waves.

I'll be right back. Watch this. He's just looking at everybody around him. Are like, oh. Yeah. Who's that guy? By the way, this is, you know, and listen, not knocking it. I can't say the Ritz Carlton either, but this is no Ritz Carlton.

It's not like, you know, he's doing a review of a hotel that, it's a hotel. Yeah. It's an older hotel. That's right. The one thing, I got to, I got to. show you this. You know, if you guys like guys, women, whoever watch this, if you guys like waves, oh my God, this place. You're going to love the ocean. I highly recommend the ocean. If you're into waves, it's called the ocean. Let me show you over here.

Come with me. Come with me. Oh my God. He's literally reviewing the ocean. I love you, Frankie. I love you. This place will destroy you. I mean, they are absolutely killer. I mean, I've been tumbling underwater. I'm actually going to kill myself here, okay? Look at it. Meanwhile, there's like the tiniest bed of waves.

There's an older gentleman standing up. So Frankie pans the camera to show you this, these tsunami waves that are coming. He's been tumbling around. I dumble far. you, I tumble for you, I tumble for you. So he pans over and it's like a kid's wave pool. Yeah, it is.

Totally. Old man is four foot three and it's up to his knees. These waves will destroy you. Look at this. You know, actually it's hit or miss. Every time you want to show the waves. Well, actually, it looks a lot bigger when you're under them. It looks a lot bigger when you're drowning.

It looks a lot bigger when the life card is saving you. And I can just see a life card. Oh, God damn it, we got to get this guy out of the water again. He's stumbling. Look at them. First one is not going to come. But it's nuts. And what they do is they got signs all over this beach of the rip currents because they said they're vicious.

They take you out to this. I bet that's what the sign says. Vicious. Vicious. Vicious waves. Vistacio. Or whatever. Oh my God.

The rip current took me away. Rocks right over here. Like if you're right here, the rip current will take you all the way and throw you into the racks and you can get in trouble. And trust me, in this water. Throw you into the rocks. It'll be in trouble. Pick you up through you into the way. Look at it.

What is that? Six, seven inches. It's up to your knees. I suggest you know how to swim before you go in the ocean. More about that later. Yes. It is, it is rough. Let me show you the hotel zone that we're in.

Okay. Very, very beautiful. And this is my first time in San Juan. I've always gone to Mexico and actually. They will let me back in now. They won't let me there. I've always gone to Mexico and due to an unfortunate incident. I'm not allowed back.

I'm not allowed back there for 10 to 20 years. I'm not sure. I switched to Puerto Rico. My lawyer is. good care of it. I'm suggested this place, and I am so glad that we came here. Sam Juan is absolutely stunning. And again, later I'm going to show you the old San Juan, okay, the old downtown.

It is incredible. The streets. What words you're using, amazing, vicious, incredible, tumble. Destroy. Destroy you. Come on, Frankie. The restaurants, the people, the shopping, it's such an experience. The restaurants.

He seems like he's having a great time. The people, the pharmacies. He does seem like he's having a good time. I wonder if salon suites really provides him this kind of lifestyle. I mean, the... Like, I'm being serious. Like, he seems to be on vacation a lot. There's a lot of vacation.

videos. Yeah. And he seems to be making a lot of videos. I mean, Chrissy and I make a lot of videos, but we also dedicated an immense amount of time to this.

Maybe. The salon suite is... You think the salon suites is doing this one? No. No. I can't be. I can't imagine either.

Yeah. He probably got like, he probably did one really good real estate deal back in 1989 and it set him up for life, right? Good for him.

Or he's a barber on the side. I really recommend if anyone's looking to come to San Juan, oh my God. You'll absolutely love it. We're going to views. Well, if you're looking to come to San Juan, you probably already understand that you're going to like it. If anybody's got a trip plan to San Juan, I suggest you come to San Juan. If you're on the fence, come.

That could have been the end of the video right there. But no. Wait, there's more. I'm going to head back to my chair. I'm going to have a cocktail. And then we're going to continue this video. Oh. There is a woman that is passed out fucking cold on the beach.

She's pasty, too. She's going to get a nice sun, right. Yeah, she better cover up. She didn't even finish her margarita. You can see that right there. I'm going to head back to my chair. I'm going to make some more people uncomfortable. I'm going to get some more sun.

I don't know if you know it is, but I just got a good base code here. This maroon is my base code. I'm going for fire engine. That's right. He needs Chrisco, is what I would suggest you use. Who's this lovely lady over here?

Frankie's got a girl. Ooh. Now I'm going to take you on a quick tour. She's like, leave me out of your bullshit. She's like, leave me out of your bullshit, Frankie. She's the one who told him to take those videos out. Guaranteed. She watched him and she was like, yeah, you know, you're cute and I think we get along well together.

But that YouTube channel, I mean, for 30 people, really? Can we take those down? Little do they know. The pool area. And this hotel has several pools, which are all unique in their own way. Now, this particular one's round-shaped and one's oval. And there's a kidney. More about that later.

We get it. There's a pool, Frankie. Those glasses. I don't like it because you could look at the time of day. It's like 1 o'clock, not even 1 o'clock. And it's already in shade. See? I need full sun.

If the sun comes up at 8.15, I'm here at 7.45. If it goes down at 745, I'm here to late 15. I want to make sure I get every last ray. Look how small that pool is. I know. That's crazy for like a big resort. Yeah, it has a bunch more chairs than it does. I think my pool is bigger than that.

Plus it has no sun. He's right about that. It doesn't have any sun. It does not. It's a little infinity pool, which is cool, as you can see. You know, you can go to the edge and, you know, look at the water. You can go to the edge and look at the back of some other beach chairs. Yeah, the infinity pool goes into the beach.

Yeah, the infinity pool is supposed to the ocean. Yeah, that's the whole point. It's like you're looking, it's like you're in the ocean, looking out into the ocean, right? Right? Not you're in a kids' Walmart play pool looking into the back of someone's beach chair. Right. It's so romantic You could go to the edge

You can go right to the edge It's like the edge of the world It's just going into the beach It's like the edge of the world And then there's a beach chair Well you got to get over that beach chair To get to the end of the world But you can use your imagination

Like I do I'm Frankie B But as you can see You're in shade So do I like this pool Absolutely not So let's roll Man

I give this pool One out of ten Frankie's. Yeah. Did he have to even show that pool? Well, I needed to show you the good before I bad before I show you the good. Let me tell you something. This gets one out of ten bees. Oh, the bees. One out of ten suez.

Let me show you the good. More on that later. More about later. Yep. Off to the second level. All right. And then we could. It's called a floor.

We're going to go to the second level. That's where you beat Tetris. That's where Zelda is. You show you the rest of the pool. I got one little bar. This is kind of an interesting area. I don't like it. Okay?

I don't like it. Frankie, that's where they take the trash. I know. Yeah, what are you doing? This kind of an interesting area. Smells a little funky. There's all these plastic bags. I don't like it.

Yeah, I don't like it. But I'm going to come here later because it gets sun. I like the trash. can that's where you get all the sun's right the sun's looking back in me going hey I see you this it's just a bunch of sand I think it's a you know obviously from this it's a trash can it's a trash area it's an area it's state it's an area of stage shit Frankie you got to go to YouTube dot go to that commercial break you got to see this Frankie is literally looking at an area where they keep the beach chairs and he's like, I don't know about this area.

It's suspect. There's sand. There's sand. And beach chairs piled up. I don't know what they call this. They call it. I think this is the second pool. This is not an amenity.

Yeah, look, this is infinity sand. Oh, Frankie. That's just off. Here we got. That's a little tiny bar that you can walk up and get served yourself. I mean, you can serve yourself at that bar? I don't think he said that correctly. I'm going the right way here.

I don't know if I can get up to the... No, I'm an idiot. It's okay. I've only been here. We agree. Final ruling. I didn't do a test run. I didn't do it.

I didn't do a test run. You did. Damn it. I had it all sketched out of my hand. I'm going to go up here. More on that later. I think I can get up here. Nope.

Oh, no. Hey, Frankie, why don't you just edit it? Just edit the video. For a day, like I should know this place. Let's go up to the upper level. And I can show you the pools that are actually in the sun. Here's the gym. Very, very cool gym.

Check it out. In fact, I'm going to go up there right now. As you, look at the treadmills are all across the window here. You can't see anything. see anything. What are you showing us? It's your reflection. First of all, second of all. Treadmails along the window like every other gym in America. I mean, come on, Frankie. He's very cool, unique design. In the salon suites, we like to put the hairdressing places located where no windows are. We have customers that like to run away, jump out of the window.

Look at my body. I'm out of here. So when you're obviously in the gym this morning and when you're running. Obviously. It goes unsaid, but let me say it again. Obviously. Okay. You are looking out at the ocean. It's well thought out per se.

And here's the gym real quick. I actually did a video on the gym and that's going to be coming out. either before or after this video. Here's the general. You don't say. You don't say, Frankie. Either before or after this video. Something's going to happen.

And it either happened before or after this moment right now. I'm just going to let you know that. Don't get surprised when I dropped this video, when I dropped the gym video before this video. Time travel. I did a video on the gym. Do you have to do a video on the gym? By the way, there's like 12 of these.

He does a video on the gym everywhere he goes. He's like, let me tell you about the bad things about this gym. And it's like, it's a fucking hotel gym, man. What do you expect? It's not gold's gym in L.A. It's a fucking... Venice Beach. Yeah, it's La Concha, San Juan, Puerto Rico.

It's the Holiday Express in Puerto Rico. It's well-themed. thought out though. They put the treadmills right near the windows. Well thought out. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have so many heavy thing you can do before 10 o'clock. Hi, cats and kittens, Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void? Like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333-3-tcb. That's 212-433-38-22. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian, I need a race. his innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans, or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com slash the commercial break and TCBPodcast.com for all the info on the show. Your free sticker?

Or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I got to go now. I've got a date. With my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is Pork Chop Day. Beautiful views. Who wouldn't want to work out?

You know, when you can exercise, and just look what's waiting for you after your exercise. And, of course, after a good breakfast. Okay, now we're going to come into the pool area. Oh, that when? Geez, Louise, that's obnoxious. I don't even see a pool. They're like an old sweater.

Like an old sweater. They're growing you real quick because they're $99 a night. Look at the guy in the back. He's like, who's this douche? I saw him with the gym this morning. He was making a video at the gym this morning. I think he's following me. What you can't see is.

He paused it, and there's a guy behind him, like, looking at him like... Giving him like the stain guy. Of course. Frankie's running around. Making everybody feel weird. Oh, character. This hotel, the theme here, they got a lot of potted plants everywhere. Tons.

There we got, so we got the one thing here. Ooh. Potted plants. The theme here, potted plants. Welcome to the La Concha, sir. Would you like a potted plant? They actually meet you dressed. Our thing is here.

Our thing is potted plants. Potted plants, sir. We're known for them. Listen, if you see a palm in the corner that's unpotted, you let us know. We're unknown for our potted plants. Yeah, came for the potted plants. They told me I had to look at the potted plants. Oh my God.

I noticed how Frankie's like there's girls and bikinis. I notice how frankly like kind of like turn the camera to. Yeah. Yeah, he's got to get that. He's got to get that in there. And then there's another one up over here. I'm going to run up here real quick. Is he, is he showing a potted plants?

He's showing with potted plants. This is an infinity pool where you could sit on the ledge. Let me show you. Hold on. See? What if he fell? Whoops. Like so.

That's Frankie, that's not an infinity pool. It's a pool of the waterfall. What are you talking about? I don't even see them any potted plants. Yeah, I know. He said you can sit on the ledge. Exciting.

Sign me up. Potted plants and a ledge I can sit on? I've been looking for a ledge I can sit on. Pool the ledge. That's right. I don't normally get a ledge to sit on, but when I do, I've stayed in a holiday in La Concha, known for our potted plants.

I think Hilton should hire this guy immediately. Super interesting thing about this hotel, which makes this so different is normally when I go to Mexico, the hotels are just the hotel and then it's a hotel. But this is right? What? Ah! Hotels are a hotel. It's like Akman Fraser. That was like an equation.

The algebra problem I had to do that. Thanks and you think. You know, the thing about the hotels when I go to the hotel is the hotel is just a hotel that has a hotel inside of it. But when I come here, it's a hotel outside of the hotel, too. You can see it from both outside and inside. That's what I've noted. Oh, and the potted plants. Right.

More on that later. The middle of a city, which is really cool. And I don't know if I can catch a fan camera. You've never been to a hotel in the middle of a city? The thing that makes this hotel very unique, it's in the middle of a city. Normally, when I build my salon suez, I build them out in the middle of nowhere. I also visit hotels. Isolated.

Yeah, isolated. The hotel is just a hotel. That's what it is, a hotel. But here, it's a city inside of a hotel. Or it's a hotel inside of a city. Either way you look at it, it's pretty cool design. Well planned out. Well thought out.

I want to. Here, maybe I can. Hold on. You see? Oh, well. Holding. Hold on. We're along for the ride, Frankie.

Buildings around here. Actually, when you're up in the room and you're looking across, you're just right in the middle of the city. And then all of a sudden, you know, you're at the beach. See, great vibe. Great vibe. A lot of very tropical. Great vibes. There's like four people hanging out on a patio table.

I know. It's like a family. Great vibes. I don't know if you notice here. Someone's having a club sandwich. It's kind of vibes I'm in, dude. Totally. Normally they're blowing coke down here, but right now it's club sandwich time.

So if you're looking for that sleepy, it's a hotel in a city, but it might have a beach behind it kind of thing with potted plants. This is your thing. More than that later. Super tropical. These are interesting over here. These little, those are like little bungalows. I'm not real sure. I wouldn't like that because first of all, it's only a pool view, and it's not an ocean view.

But here, you can see the town a little bit more. Some of the buildings that go up. That's two buildings. It's not a town. And by the way, this is like Naples, Florida, Panama, I mean, Miami, anywhere you go, it's the same. It's pretty standard. Miami's a huge city. Then you go to South Beach and all of a sudden there's a beach.

That's how it works, Frankie. People build around beaches. And here's the back half of the hotel much nicer. Can I say? Not bad. And they look through the open up over here. Okay, you're looking right at the ocean. And then they got, again, nice food area right out here.

The service, they don't have enough people. I understand with COVID and everything. And another thing, another thing with COVID is they're very, very strict with it. Okay, everybody is asking for your vaccination card. You know, right when you come at a hotel and they're going to give you this little bracelet over here, that way you don't have to pull your vaccination card out. Out of your ass. Out of my ass.

I bought mine on the Internet, so, you know, I was prepared. Single time. But every restaurant you go, if you come out here, get ready to pull out your vaccination card. It is a pain in the butt. I'm going to tell you something right now. Now, so here's where we hang out right before being my girlfriend, right before we go to the gym. Wait, is it a pain in the butt to pull your vaccination card out once and they give you a bracelet? Yeah.

Every hotel I go into, this one mainly, they asked me to pull out my vaccination card. They gave me this. It isn't a feigning ass, but showing them your wristband everywhere you go. You know what I'm saying? Just be prepared. That's all I got to say. Also, be prepared that you're in a city in a hotel that's not just a hotel that has a beach in the back of it. Here's the back half of the hotel.

More than that later. Oh, look, another potted plants. I love it. The theme of this hotel is potted plants. I can see these girls dressed up with like coconuts on their boobs and like a pot. There's a little like plant coming out of their head. Yeah. Welcome to La Contcha, potted planta.

Planta le potty. We like to come out here and have a cup of coffee. because the gym is right here have a cup of coffee talk very tranquil because this is your man normally

with a one day we've been here I'd like to come out here drink a cup of coffee I talk to the woman I let her have three minutes of my time I can see the gym I can see the gym I ignore her while I'm looking at the gym

myself in the mirror and then I go off and do my videos for three hours we meet at night for dinner She gets me a blowjob We call it a day I go do more videos Aotted plans

She gets a free vacation She gets a free vacation It's a deal Win win for everybody She paid Deal Yeah Okay

I wouldn't want it That is getting cut up What is that That's minute 926 Hold on one second. I've got to make a note of that. Who wouldn't want it? It's perfect.

Thank you. You're my favorite. The outside facilities are really, really nice. Like, so the beach is really, really nice. They bring your chairs out for you, your umbrella. Like you said, it's, I, wait, that's it. That's it. They put these chairs out there for you every morning.

It's amazing. They're just there in the morning. Same place they were yesterday. They get it right every time. By the way, which beach hotel have you been to where they don't put the chairs and tables out for you? It's weird. I was skeptical coming here, all right? But I'm telling you right now, I love it.

And I'm definitely not looking forward anytime soon to going back. Totally, totally enjoying. My flight's at 415. I was skeptical. I was a skeptic. of whether or not this hotel was going to live up to my expectations. They said, expect a lot of potted plants. There's way more potted plants.

There's way more potted plants than I ever imagined. It's amazing. Look, there's another one. Stay out here. So, yeah, I would totally, totally recommend this. So soon, I'm going to get you into the lobby. But I'm not going there now. No way.

You know why? It's too freaking nice out. I need to get back to the beach. I have my cocktail and, you know, soak up some more sun and I'll catch you on a little bit. Oh. The last thing you need is more sun, first of all, Frankie.

And I love the quick edit right to the room. Hey, I'm back. I had my cocktail. Look at me. I'm twice as tan as I was before. Not possible, Frankie. Time to look at the room. Actually, you can come up the elevator

and then it's an outdoor catwalk up over here. And here's the view just out. side of the room, which is really, really nice. So on one side of the room, you can have the ocean view. And on this side of the room, you get the pool view. So this is, it's a very, very nice room. It's a beautiful view. Yeah, cool, man.

It's a beautiful view. But cool, man, there's 3,000 hotels within a square mile. They'll probably have the same fucking view, dude. I mean, this is really, quite frankly, a ridiculous review. He has told us nothing that we need to know. No. One time the lunches, what kind of food they're serving, you know, show me how they turn now. They've got sand.

Yeah, they've got sand, waves that'll destroy you, potted plants, and a ledge you can sit on, all in a hotel inside of a city. It's amazing. Like I was talking about earlier in the video, you see the city life, you see all the buildings that you're around. Okay, then you pop right into your hotel and you're right on the beach. So it's a very interesting comment. All right. Very interesting. All right.

All right, Frankie, get to the room. Let's see the room. I like the room. I really do. Let me get some. I like the room. I really do. We've been getting friendly.

Sometimes when my woman is talking. to me. I say, hey, Room, do you hear that too? Is she as obnoxious to you as she is to me? You want to go work out? No, you got to stay here? Oh, come on, Room. It's, hello. That doesn't matter. Anyway, entranceway. He said hello. It doesn't matter.

Someone's in here to murder me. Doesn't matter. More on that later. All right, so now as you're walking, there's our beautiful view of the ocean. You mean, get these lines opened up a little bit better. The room. Yeah, I don't know what to say about the room. The room is a normal room. Yeah.

It does have an ocean view. That's good. Many other hotels have that as well. Many other hotels. Millions. Yeah, probably many just in that square mile. He's sitting in there. There is nothing super fantastic about this hotel.

Now, I'm not saying you have to do a review of the Ritz every time. There's lots of hotel reviews that I've seen of hotels that are not the Ritz. Right? That's where I stay. This is a room that I stay in. But when I watch a hotel review, I want to see something luxurious and opulent, something I can never achieve or hope that I can achieve someday. Or some concrete information. Yeah, or something that I can actually use.

Not just, here's a hotel. Let me get these blinds open for you. Look, look. is four foot by four foot window. Beautiful. The room is lived. All included. The room is lived in.

Okay. I didn't clean up anything because this is our last day here. Obviously, I should have maybe filmed this video. Before we moved in and unpacked everything, but you know what? This is, this is real life. This is how you live in a hotel. This is how we live in a hotel. You'll make assumptions, Frankie.

He's just tough. He just can't stop. He can't get enough of himself. This is how we live at a hotel. You live at a hotel. Hello? Real life. Room.

Is that you? Room. Are you there? Oh, look, a potted plant. All right. Obviously, our bed, we have our little closet. Oh, safe. Okay.

Bap robes, all that fun stuff. Iron. A bar. Nothing crazy. You know, nothing, nothing ridiculous here. He's drinking Titos. Oh, my God. Oh, that's like charcoal, isn't it? Oh, my God. No, it's a good vodka. Okay. Well, listen, regardless, he's showing you a mini bar. Yeah. You see in a fucking, you know, like an embassy suite.

There's a coffee maker. There's a coffee maker. Two bottles of water. Nothing in the refrigerator. And a bottle of Tito's sitting there. He's showing you the world's smallest closet. show us the air conditioner, Frankie. Please show us the air conditioner. Please. Can't top this video.

Give me something strong to go out with. Show me the air conditioner. The refrigerator, they don't stack it with anything. I think they give you just a couple of complimentary waters. You know, our luggage area. It's our fucking sit-case. It's a fucking sinkcase. Our luggage area.

Here's our luggage area. Oh my God. And the jazz and a chair. Look, there's a TV. Hi TV. You know, Yahoo. Chair area. Share area.

Share area. It's 100 square foot room. It's got its own area. Yeah, it's got its own area. I can see Frankie at night like drawing them up tomorrow when I talk about it. Remember to mention the chair area. That's important information. There's a chair area.

Where the chair goes. Do I have the map to get from the beach to the second level? I just can't remember all this. Oh my God, chair area. Chair area. It's not a chair area. It's just a chair. No, it's just a chair that's pushed up underneath the desk.

That's the chair area. Don't have a lot of in this room, it's dresser space. Or any space. It's a hundred square foot room. This is built in the 60s, dude. Guess you inherited the dresser right when you walked in. Obviously, I'm a girlfriend. I guess she can have some priority, right?

Okay. Now, I guess she's got to sleep with me. I guess I'll give her something. Give her a drawer. Oh, my God, Frankie. Yeah. Oh, there's only so much. There's only so much we did.

By the way, we're only halfway through this city. I'm especially interested in that chair area and the potted plants. Those are unique. Those are unique. To hotels. Don't forget. It's a hotel inside of a city. It's kind of like a city inside of a hotel.

It's like New York, New York, New York and Vegas on the inside of. Hello? Room? Is that you? Who wouldn't want it? More on that later. I give your callbacks all day long on this video. Oh my God.

Frankie, happy birthday. Thank you for that birthday. You're welcome. Present. It's always a present whenever Frankie's involved. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Yes. Frankie B. Tell your friends, tell your family.

Go to YouTube.com slash. I just thought about something on our upcoming trip. Jeff and I, I don't know if I checked if there was a chair. I hope. You have got to do an Instagram video. It's included. Sir, would you like a chair area for an extra $100 a night? Well, who doesn't want a chair area?

Give me the upgrade. I need a chair area. Oh, my God. You got to do a video of your chair area. I must. And your luggage area. I must. Get the air conditioning while you're out.

I will. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Please subscribe, like any videos, comment. You know, we'll return your. We'll return your comments right back at you. Asshole. That's what I say. At the commercial break on Instagram for content, you cannot find anywhere else.

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please take a moment to rate and review us on your favorite podcast player. We certainly appreciate all of the reviews. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I wanted to let you know. I am going to be doing TCB. We are going to be doing TCB match dating game.

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You don't know what they look like. We'll ask a series of questions. We'll see which one you like the better. And then we'll set you up on an online date and we'll pay for it. That's the kind of show we are. Yeah, Zoom included. Don't even worry about it. No 45-minute limit on your Zoom.

Only the best for you. Zoom Pro. We are looking for three guys and three girls or they, them, she, he, whatever it is. Please, 6-61. Best 2-Yo. That's 6-6-1. 237 8296 if you're lonely and unlucky in love let us know because Brian and Chrissy are here to fix you all of Uncle Brian and Ann Chrissy are going to take it all the way home for you and that's coming up

in just the next couple of in about a month so you've got some time but not too much 6-61 bestie-o don't worry we'll vet everybody make sure they're not a mass murder before we get them online we'll do the best we can which means I'll Google you yes I'll Google you And if you or anybody with your name has murdered anybody, I'm out. You're out. Yeah, the lawyers will make you sign a waiver and all that good stuff. Anyway, that's what I wanted to let you know. Chrissy, I don't know how much else we can do today.

I think that's it. I think that's it too. Happy birthday, my friend. Thank you. To many more years of friendship. And I hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend. Thank you. I love you.

I'm excited. I'm going to do a travel review. Please do. I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we must say and we will say. Bye!