The Commercial Break - TCB Classic: The Men of a Mountain!

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

EP925: As Bryan and Krissy finish their vacationing, the men of a mountain finish their....monstering? Whatever it is they do, it sure is entertaining!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, thanks for calling into the TCB hotline. Leave your message for Brian after the beep. You pompous, stock up, snot-nows, English, giant, twerps, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. On this episode of the commercial break. Well, I realize that it's been a bit haphazard with the release schedule for the commercial break for the last couple of weeks, or maybe even a month. But we told you at the beginning of the year, we're going to take it a little bit easy in 26 so we don't burn ourselves out. We have the ability to do this well into the future.

Well, you assholes couldn't leave well enough alone. And the second you don't get an episode, the minute you're supposed to get an episode, you text in and you complain about how I don't have my episode of the commercial break. And we love you so much. And you're such a great podcast. And by the way, we're making you money by listening to your advertising and blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, okay. I get it.

I get it. We're a little behind the eight ball, but guess what? Chrissy returns from her three and a half week vacation tomorrow, and that means tomorrow you get a brand new episode of DCB. And far into the future, as our schedule normalizes until we decide to take another vacation and all hell breaks loose. Anyway, you're not assholes. I love you. Thank you for listening to the commercial break. Here's a mountain monsters because you asked for it.

Love you. Bye. The next episode of the commercial break, start. now. No, no, no! Another episode of the commercial break. Oh, I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Houdley and best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of The Commercial Break. The only commercial break you'll ever need. I don't know why I started saying that, the only commercial break you'll ever need. Because there is another commercial break. There is a commercial break. Yeah, it's not THE commercial break. But it's a commercial break.

Please don't get us confused. But please leave us your research. reviews either way. We're happy to take them. So don't, you know, don't be scared off commercial breakers because the commercial break welcomes you. We welcome you into the commercial break family of shows. To be honest with you, no matter who you leave the review for it, all go, they get credit for it. So don't work. We all get credit for it. How do you like my hat today? Yeah, your hat looks styling. Yeah. You look like you're going to the jazz fest. I need a tiner, tasty tiner. Brian's ass. Brian ass.

That shit's good. This shit's bunk, man. I know Brian's ass anywhere. This ain't bright ass. This is some flirty flowery shit. I want that dirty stanky stank. Domino's pizza. Yeah, I want that domino's piece of cocaine shit.

That's what I need. That was that stuff that knocked me on my ass. Oh, man, I got some real brine. You got that real brine ass? You got that fake brown ass. You got that smell. Let me get a little, let me get a little taste. There's an imposter going around.

It went right to the gut. I felt it. That's brine ass. That's pure brine. That's uncut, man. There's no flower pelling there. Once you have it, you're never going back. Once you go ass, you never go back.

You know, you can go to YouTube.com slash the commercial break and check out the clip called Black Market Farts. If you want to, you know. We are who we are. You have some extra time. Yeah. We are who we are. We're blazing up the charts with all this ridiculousness. So somebody likes it.

I don't know who those people are, but somebody likes us. It's our Denmark fans. It is our Denmark fans. We still have a lot of people who listen to us in Germany. Iran. Iran is a big one. I don't know why people listen to us on Iran. I actually don't think it's Iran.

I think that's a VPN, I think is what that is. We've already talked about that. I don't want to get more podcast talk. It's boring to the audience. They're not podcasters. They're listening to a podcast. Update on Bob at the Gym. Oh, please do. I was wondering about that.

He actually got, I was there yesterday and he was there yesterday and he was doing the same thing. So those of you didn't listen to this episode, I went to the gym for the first time and a long time, about a week and a half ago. First time, long time. And there was a guy that came up on one of the machines next to me. He was screaming at himself. No one's going to tell you how to do it, Bob. You're the best mom. Do it, Bob.

You'll show them, Bob. He was literally screaming to it. While using the machine extremely dangerous. He's like wrapping the wire around his neck and yanking it with his neck. He was like this guy was all over the place. So yesterday he was on the free weight, one of the free weight machines. And he must have put like seven plates on there. I mean, you know, like 7,000 pounds or whatever it is.

And he was trying to do a leg press, like a leg pull up, you know. And obviously he wasn't doing it because he had so much weight on it. Now the guy is a bigger guy. He's bigger than I am. He's going to hurt himself. He's going to fucking get a, you know, like his anus is going to come out or something. something's going to pop. Yeah, something's going to pop.

It's probably going to be his ego because bobbing as cool as he think he is. But so he was like, he was like, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. That's what he was doing. And it wasn't going anywhere, right? You know? So someone came over to him, one of the guys at the gym came over to him in between. Yeah, in between sets.

No, he said, hey, listen, man, you're going to hurt yourself. I listen to the whole thing. Yeah. And the guy wasn't trying to be like, he wasn't being petite about what he was saying. He was saying it out loud. And there was only like 12 of us in the entire gym. It was Sunday evening. So there wasn't a lot of people there.

And he said, hey, man, you're going to hurt yourself. Right. You ought to back off that a little bit. Chill. You know, chill. You ain't going to be able to do seven plates, right? And Bob was like, thanks, man. I got it.

I got it. And then he goes back. Oh, get it, get it, get it, get, get it. And I'm like, this guy must be a joyriding bed. Oh, get it, get a go. Get it, get a go. Yeah, right. So then someone who works there.

You can do it, Bob. Yeah, you can do it, Bob. Like, you got it, Bob. You got it. You're too pumped. You're no two pumped jump. You got three in you. Get it, get it, get it, get a little at a time, little at a time.

Think about baseball. Think about baseball. So someone at the gym, someone working at the gym, finally walked over to Bob and said, you got to, you got to tone it down. Yeah, we've had a few complaints. You've got to tone it down. even though no one was complaining because I saw all 12 people in the gym and we were all highly entertained. No one was complaining.

We were all having a great time. We were hoping Bob would not get a, get a, give it for the next 30 minutes. Yeah. He took it down a notch. He didn't like, he didn't go. He heard what she said. Like he wasn't totally crazy, right? And so then he was like, mm-hmm.

Get it. You could still hear. Get her. And I just thought I was having so much fun. I thought I and again, I don't want to videotape him. I'm certainly not going to put it on the commercial break. I don't want it to be. Right now.

Yeah. Listen, Bob just has a weird way of working out. I don't know how he got all those muscles when he's doing exercises he clearly can't do. But then so after that, then he went to the dumbbells and he picked up like two 25ers, which is heavy. Yeah. 25, you know, pound dumbbells are not heavy. Yes. And he was doing like this whole number where he brings it up to it like right in.

You know, doing a dance kind of. Yeah, the hammer curl, you know. And he was, and then he was sidestepping a bit, like he was dancing. And he was like, uh, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, to the music, to the beat of the music, which was, the most ridiculous music on it, the gym yesterday. It was like Christian rock or something, you know. Ah, praise me, crazy, praise thee. Praise thee. And I was like, God damn, turned this shit off.

And I don't have a great book on tape right now, so I was just listening to Bob, do the workout. Christian Rock. Anyway, Bob's still alive. He's still there. That's good to know. He's been asked to tone it down. And he took it, he took it half to heart. You know, there's still a Bob in there that needs to express how he feels.

Exactly. So I look forward. I actually wish I had a schedule of when Bob was going to be there because it makes me work out a little bit harder because I'm having so much fun. I'm like, well, I'll get an extra rip in. Why not? I'll use this machine staring at Bob. And then I like, my eyes are constantly darting like they are here at the show. YouTube.

com slash the commercial break. please go there, like and subscribe. Listen, just subscribe to the video channel if you want to, but we do have some great content there. You can add an extra layer of complexity to the commercial break because there's zero in it right now. And we have this segment that we do called In the Studio. We do it about once a week. We'll try and do it more often where it's a five to ten minute clip. We talk about something that has nothing to do with the show topics.

So YouTube.com slash the commercial break, if you would go there. I wanted to give you an update on the furries. You remember this? Yes. The woman that was from the PTA, she was concerned because there was a litter box in the unisex bathroom at the school. She had heard a rumor and she knew it was happening all across the country. She was sure of it.

It was exploding. Yes. Yeah. Literally she wanted to let the world know on live local television wherever she was at, but probably Florida because that's where all that shit happens. She wanted to let the world know. that she knew after an investigation that many, many litter boxes were being placed in the unisex bathrooms for the furry community so that they could pee-p-p-poo-poo-p in the litter box,

to which Chrissy and I said, who fucking cares? Pee-p-p-poo-poo-poo-a-way. I mean, you know, what's the difference? Have you ever been into a unisex bathroom at a high school? I mean, it's kind of a litter box anyway, right? It's, you know, kids are not the cleanest with their urination. And if you want to be a furry, be a furry. And if you want to pee in a litter box,

well, long as you're not hurting anybody. Who the fuck cares? But she said it was an agenda being pushed by, you know, probably Bill Gates. Who knows? The ladies are fucking whack job. But there, no. The school's, uh, principal. The school came out.

Came out. Okay. And they said, I addressed it. She said, in all my years of teaching, I've never had to address something so ridiculous. And it actually makes me sad to let you know that there are not litter boxes anywhere in the school for any reason, let alone the bathrooms. And maybe we have better things to worry about, which is what exactly what Christy and I said,

is that while this woman is preparing her, you know, three minute long speech to the school board every week so that she can, you know, be a right fighter. Her children are going unparented. Yeah. Because why don't she just talk to your kids about that? Do you like pissing in the litter box? Is that what you like to do? Is it, are you hurting anybody with that?

Is this a problem? I mean you go see a therapist? No. Okay. Piss in the litter box. Just clean it up after yourself. Who cares? Scoop it.

Yeah, they're playing make-belief. Okay, scoop it. Fresh scoop. So anyway, the furry community has now responded. I'd like to let you know. Do I mean to read a little bit of their... Yes, please. Members of the furry fantasy subculture tell the post

that they are not wild about this week's viral rumor that a Michigan school put a litter box in one of its bathrooms for the kids to use who identify as cats, as one harried parent put it. Far harried parents. Just a moron. You call like you see it. Far from merely identifying as felines, furlies are anthropomorphic community whose members

sometimes dress up as a variety of animals at conventions or have special fursonas with whom they connect. Fursona. Fursona. Isn't that cute? At least 250,000 Americans identify as furries. That's a lot. That's a lot more than I expected.

But still luckily a minority of the population. God bless you. I don't give a shit if you dress up. This subset says they're mostly not in it for sexual reasons. but, you know, there's always one of the bunch. There's sexual beings. Yeah, of course. You know, if you're, if you're into, let's not lie about this.

Come on, guys. I mean, okay, most people aren't into it for sex. But don't say that a majority of people aren't in it for sex because that's not true. Because if you like dressing up in a, it's a not, maybe it's not, maybe you don't fetishize the actual costume, but you're a sexual being. You like to have sex. If you see another attractive kitty cat, full size, adult size. sized kitty cat dressed up in plush costume.

Or dog or bear. Yeah. If I see a hot cat dressed up like a kitty cat, a hot woman dress up like a kitty cat. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a furry, but I'd go for it. You know, why not? It's a shame that the furry community still indoors negative media portrayals and public

misconceptions as deviance because the truth of this is remote as deviance because the truth of this remarkable and resilient community is far more interesting and complicated, says Dr. Sharon E. Roberts, an associate professor at the University of Waterloo. Oh. It's a waterloo. This is a joke. Is that a neat one? Yeah, it's somewhere.

Yeah, I think so. I think you're right. I think that in the long run, this kind of attention will help us, however, help us as a community. However, you know, it's ridiculous that people are continuing to stereotype us and push their agendas on our community. Now, I won't go through the whole thing, but basically what they said is kind of what we had said, our sentiments. which were these people are just playing make-believe for the most part. Most of these people are playing make-believe. It doesn't hurt anybody in the community.

It doesn't harm themselves. Stay on weekends. They like to go dress up like putty-pats or dogs or big stuff bears or whatever it is. Lions, dragons. Here, I got a picture. Oh, my. Here. Oh.

You see there? You see that? There you go. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. See, you know, they like to dress up as all kind of things. There's dragons and it's cosplay.

is what it is basically. Cosplay. You know, it's cosplay, costume play. That's what it is. And cosplay is not limited to just people who like to dress up like furry animals. No, it's not. And I say to cosplay, God bless you. If you want to go cosplay, cosplay, you want to dress up for Harry Potter movie?

Dress up for Harry Potter movie. There are plenty of adults who dress up for Star Trek and Star Wars and all this other shit. The truth is is that it's like deadheads or fishheads or commercial break fans. Besties. Besties. We all identify, you identify with the group of people. And usually there's a lot of love in that community because everyone has something that they enjoy together. Exactly.

And now, well, we all may have fun at cosplay's expense sometimes. You know, listen, lots of people have fun of my expense too. Comic Con is huge here. Yeah. Comic Con is huge here and everybody dresses up. And not just 13-year-olds, 40-year-olds, 50 years, 60 years. All ages. Yeah.

And so, you know, Halloween, we all dress. You know, I don't, but most people dress up for Halloween in some way, shape, or form. I like to dress up. I think leave these fucking people alone. Don't throw your stupid political agendas on them. And if they want to piss in a litter box, who fucking care? Honestly, like think about that. It's not hard. Who cares?

If you want to piss in a litter box, piss in a litter box. Yeah, maybe we all should try it. I have tried it. I do have a sexual fetish around litter boxes. And I say go for it. The furry community wants us to know that they're people too. They are. And sometimes cats, but mostly people.

I'm not a cat. And they're angry about this lady who is now, who is now all across the internet. Yeah. And luckily most people think this is ridiculous. But there is a segment of a certain media outlets that have actually taken this and ran with it, saying that, you know, all of these. It's a disgrace. And our children are being ruined by this or by that. When these numb nuts who are.

talking on these media outlets were in their teens or they were children or whatever it was. Yeah. People, they were dressing up as, you know, Captain fucking kangaroo or cowboy bob or whatever. Yeah. It's just the way it is. Kids play make believe. And some adults do too because, you know what? They like to play make believe.

It's okay. Walt Disney made a whole fucking billion dollars off of, you know, drawn little cartoon character. It's okay. Let kids be kids. Let them do their thing. Yeah. And I'll say this to all you furries out there. If you need a litter box to piss in, I got one right under.

the table. And I'm, and I'm prepared. I'm prepared to allow you in my unisex bathroom known as a commercial break studio for this. I just, I just, I just, I just don't get it. I don't get why I get having fun with it. Like I get having having fun with the community or the fact that they dress up or whatever. I don't get demonizing them. No. For your own political purposes. It's so stupid. There are full grown men who chase monsters out there, Haudley. Oh. I never are. Who chase. Make believe monsters. I'm getting very excited.

I'm getting very excited. I was trolling on the internet. Yes, as you do. As I do. And I know that it's, it's been a while. It's been a long break. Lots of people were upset that we were gone for so long. I don't know who those people are.

I just pretend in my head they're all upset, right? Up in arms. You know, we're high on the charts now, Hohley. We got a reputation to uphold. You don't see any, you'll see basement yard covering this kind of topic. We last year did a wildly popular segment on Monster Hunters. We did actually three. Yeah, it's really good.

It was a lot of fun going through this. I mean, these guys are just, I mean, perfect for TV. They're more than perfect. They're lovely. And they're just, I just don't know how much more fun you could have with this. Monster Hunters is a television program on the travel channel. Was on the Travel Channel. I don't think it's on anymore, actually.

He was on the travel channel. You could find it on YouTube. This guys needed a break. Yeah, they needed a break. They ran out of bullshit to talk about. They ran out of fake monsters not to catch. Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

So Chrissy and I caught on to Monster Hunters last season. We started reviewing some of the audio on the tapes because it's just so ridiculous that anybody takes this seriously. But I bet some of the same people who are, whatever, anyway. Same people who are demonizing the furries are watching monster hunters at home. One of my favorite parts is that you brought up, as you brought up, that the camera guy never can seem to catch on tape the monster. Never not once. Or ghost. Or ghost.

Has a legitimate scientist ever, or anybody, ever caught a glimpse of the monster? Because the cameraman, who we refer to as Billy, no matter who it really is, oh, guys, I'm so sorry. When you said over here, I think you meant over there. I was at the craft table. It's grilled cheese day Macaroni and cheese All you want Never catches the animal

That they're trying to chase Never not once Even though he's right there And everybody They have encounters with him They get bitten And they get scratched And they get clawed

And they get pulled into the water The cameraman has never caught up with it They do get pulled into the water So one guy got pulled into the water And the 375 pound man Who's leading these man children around this adventure, right? I'm sure as an actor, must be. You know, he's stopping the camera, you know, the cameraman's behind him, so everyone's

too slow to the action. Oh, man, I got pulled in, so I'm going to grab a wrap her right by my foot. He just misses it. Did you hear that? He was shooting at us. They've been shot at, they've been stabbed. They went to a... Fires had been said. They went to a cabin where there was like... There was something about a fence one time, too. Oh, yeah, he got his balls stuck in the fence. I got my balls cutting the fence. That part probably was real. They went to a cabin in the woods one time. There was a nest.

Yeah, there was a nest. They had a nest. There was, Bigfoot was watching TV in one of the places. Remember that? Is there a TV? It was a big foot nest, too. A Bigfoot nest. So we've had lots of fun with this.

We've done probably three episodes. You can go back and watch on season number two. But we had so much fun that I thought we'd revisit it. I love it. Now that we have the ability to not only listen, but to a, allow everybody to watch this. So this is the very first episode of Monster Hunters. Oh, this is the very first.

The very first episode of Monster Hunters. We went back to the first one of Frankie. I'm going back to the last day, which aired last week or the week before. His nice crotch. It's the most awful video I've ever seen in my entire life. But that's just that's early Frankie. That's early.

Early Frankie. He had honed his steel. Even the Velvet Underground sounded real bad when they got together. But look how that turned out. They're not working at laundry mats somewhere. Okay. Now, I'd like to present to you. Let's get the full reaction, a hot shot.

Remember, let me remind you, YouTube.com slash the commercial break if you want to watch as well as here. But for the podcast's sake, we're going to now listen to monster hunters. There it is right there. You ready for this? I'm ready. Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely

Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text you're right back. Promise. Then head over to TCB podcast dot com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. Because I have muton. Perfect.

Still trying to get used to the studio here. Folks are. You haven't owned your skill quite. Seven foot, 500 pounds wolf. We're going to build a cage and catch the wolfman. Hurrah! And you are worried about a litter box. There are men building cages for the wolfman. And you're worried about a litter box.

What is that? Is that like ultra-violent? That's night vision. Which is actually just real high contrast on your iPhone, is what that is. Thermal up there. What the heck is this? That's a kill sign. A kill sight.

That's a kill sight. This is where they kill the ratings right here. There was like a little skeleton there, too. This is where they kill the power to the camera that's going to catch this bastard on television. We're figuring out what his territory is, so we're closing in on him. What are you going on all around? The hair standing up on the back of my neck. Come on.

Go, go, go. Get in, let's go. I got air standing up on the back of my ball. I love they had to bleep out, whatever. Shit. Yeah. Because, you know, why. First of all, second of all, I mean, there are, I got shit going on all around me.

Yeah, it's a fucking television set, dude. Of course you do. And you're in the floor. I know. And we haven't even got, this is just a prelimit of the show. This is just the opening shot. The old meaning monologue, montage. Ben!

For generations. The Appalachian Mountains have had more sightings of mysterious creatures than anywhere else in the United States. Let's do this. What was that? We need backup. Now, a band of heart. We need backup! We need backup!

We're out of donuts. We need backup. Who's he calling to? He's got no radio, no phone. He's just yelling. We need backup. Oh, my God. This is the best.

I love these guys. is. Corps hunters and trappers are out to identify these unexplained creatures. Uh-oh. Yeah, look at the tiny things in a rich

bridge. Many else I'm a lot of glass brands. Plays the keys when he speaks is like a cell. It looks that guy's a researcher. That guy looks like a scientist to me. Jeff the researcher.

They're now going through the names of these people and we've got the, Jeff the research. He's waging a gun. That's right. Willie the trap builder. Wild building expert tricker. One team of native West Virginia signs seeks the truth.

Mountain. Mountain monsters. We've headed down to Hazel Green, Kentucky to investigate Kentucky Wolfman. Wolf County. Wolf County has to be a place for a wolf Man. You'd think.

Makes sense. Where did they? Joe Bob. Yeah. Wolf County, Kentucky. This is just too good to be true. They're going to Wolf County, Kentucky to catch the Wolfman. The Kentucky Wolfman, I mind you.

Not the regular Wolfman. Not the Georgia Wolfman. No, there's differences, holy. There's slight but the differences. If you notice, the Kentucky Wolfman likes Pepsi Cola. But the Georgia Wolfman is privy to Coca-Cola. It just looks like a dog to me. I don't know.

I'm trapper. I spend probably 250 days a year in the woods. The hunting big white tails and bear. It's my life. Yeah, you're hunting those elusive Kentucky bear. He spends 200. It does not surprise me that he spends 250 days a year. Yeah, he's trying to get out of the house.

Yeah. His wife doesn't want him in the house. Take that shit out of here, Bob. I told you ain't no such thing as a wolf man. You better bring home dinner. Bob! I'm going to have sex with the wolfman. Find by me!

I believe it was 2006 we started Ames. That's Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Science. Oh, that is an unfortunate name. Ames. And when you say it with a country accent, it sounds like AIDS. We started Ains. In 2006, we started Ains right here in Mr. Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Science.

What a cool name we came up with, boys. Ames. Do you like that? Ames. We get business cards. I Ames to please. Oh, my God. We check out mysterious sightings from Pennsylvania down through Georgia.

We've been every place. We've been to every place, Kentucky and Georgia. We've been to every corner of the globe, South Kentucky, North Kentucky, North, South Kentucky. Georgia. Yeah. They're always in Virginia. Georgia, South Carolina, or Kentucky. That's where they've been.

Three reports of wolf-type creatures down there, Jeff's come up with. Wolf-type creatures. That's where the Kentucky wolf is a researcher. Jeff, the researcher? What's he researching, moon pies? Oh, guys. I don't know, this is a little scary. Wolf County, that's where the wolf is.

I think that's, I think this is an indication we should turn around. actual investigators, are we? You said you were a door greeter at Kmart. Mine's 1760 when the first silver mine was found. I believe that that's where it's hanging

out. It's hiding there. Why? Why? It's attracted to shiny things? I mean, it's a cave, I guess. All right. Okay. I'm trying to suspend disbelief for one second. It's a cave.

Wolfman, wolf creature, wolf monster. You're talking like a seven foot, 500 pound wolf. A seven foot 500 pound? That's a dog. That's no wolf man. Seven foot. It's a German shepherd. A seven foot.

Wolf. 500 pounds. I got strip searched with a dog like. Yeah. Picture. The picture. That's a German. That's a nice.

Matthew looking German Shepherd. Yeah, it's got big teeth. He takes to kill, and he does nothing but kill. Has it been a long time there? He's a killer. He's got a killer instinct. He does nothing but kill. Just like John the trapper back here.

He doesn't talk much. She lost his teeth in an unfortunate bear trap accident. But he likes to trap. John, tell him what you've been trapping lately. Mainly squirrels. But I'm up for the job. It's just like a. really big squirrel with nasty teeth.

It's just about 500 pounds more. Guys, did you say 500 pounds? I don't know. I didn't sign up for this. I'm getting scared. Who's that talking? It's me in the back of the truck. It's cold back here, guys.

Can you turn the heat on, open a window? There's been some really strong reports from the 70s clear up through in the 2000s, the current date and they're basically in Wolf County. People actually lock their doors and stuff down there at night and won't go outside that they're that feared of it. They've had sightings for years. Huckleberry. That's what one guy's saying. This is too good to be true. This is good acting actually. These guys, you've got to give it to these guys. They made a career out of this. They actually got someone to bite off on this

bullshit and they had a whole, they had like four seasons, five seasons. I can imagine these guys are making have made millions of dollars off of this content and having fun doing it and having fun doing it now I don't see the big guy we normally see associated with this there's another guy huh no there's another dude but you know this is the beginning this is early days this early days of aims Appalachian industrious men of stoutness aims even got a fantastic folk allure following story They're saying it's like a burrilla, a cross between a bear and a gorilla because of the hair. A barilla. A barilla. Around here they drink the burrilla cessperilla. It's said to be a combination of wolf pee and lemonade with extra sugar.

Yeah. I have not heard of burrilla before. I've not heard that term. It's like a barista. Thank you, Ames. It's like a barista. It's like how I like to watch Jeopardy. That's right.

To learn things. I mean. That's right. Active impotent men searching for Bigfoot. Ames, but. I'm part of Amesba. Actively impotent men. Let me see your card.

Well, I don't have it with me. Card carrying. My old one expired. I'm waiting for a new one. Actually, they won't let me in. I'm not impotent. Push me bipedal. Bipeedal.

That means sex with both. Both kinds. The Kentucky and the non-Kutuggy wolf. Bi-pedal. What in the fuck is going on in this episode? I love it already. We're only two seconds into the video. I know. I know.

I'm sorry. Jeff uses words. I have no idea what they mean. He ends up on his hind legs and runs like hell and kills everything in sight. Okay. Now, there. Break it down and ready. Sounds friendly.

Did you say kills? Everything is said? Bye, beetle. Thank God I don't weigh as much as you guys. Hazel Green. Hazel Green. Our first feeding of Hazel Green is going to be a true outdoorsman, a trap shooter named R. He actually had an eyewitness.

His name is R. One letter. R. This episode is brought to you by the letter R. Wait, let's just break down for a second. His hat or I think that might be a handkerchief has a big, Rose. He's got Laura Ashley.

He's got Laura Ashley's leggings cut into a hat. But then his beard. He's got one of the beard with the, you know, they tie it up. Yeah. They tie it up so it's nice and long, so it looks like a ponytail. It's a chin tail. Siding of a wolfman. I really want to see where you saw it at.

It's good. All right. I really want to see the empty woods. R is. That's his name. He's a marksman. So they got this guy, his name. name is R and it's literally the letter R.

Yeah, it has in quotations. Only in Kentucky. The marksman. Yeah. And I like Kentucky, by the way. It's a very beautiful place. It is. I like to hunt.

Mostly I like to hunt birds. We have an expression where we shoot. If it flies, it dies. I come up here a couple times. Mostly I like to hunt birds, but, I mean, a 7 foot 500 pounds. That's right. Everyone's in a blue moon. I see a 500 pound creature on its hind legs running at me.

I'll shoot that instead. Just for shit some giggles. Usually I go for canaries. You close to shoot birds. That's right. Usually I'm, uh, I'm, usually I take my shotgun at hummingbirds. But yesterday I saw a 7,000 pounds 40 foot creature eating my dog.

So I said, eh, why not? My hind legs. My name is R. This area right here, I was looking over through there and about where that tree is at a 45 degree angle. There's a white spot on it. It was in that area right there. It was obvious to me. It was large and it was dark.

I could only see it from probably mid-torso up. Still couldn't. I was trying to get a look at a dick, but I could only see it's just. I wanted to know what he was working with. He is bipedal, of course, if he didn't know. And by the way, what, what, what, they're, they're now out at a, like, a campsite or something where the guy saw this five years ago. Yeah. Because the first thing they had to do is, I want to get a look at where you saw it.

Like, that's going to garner any information. It's just a couple trees and some grass. Yep, this looks that kind of place where you would see something. If you were going to see something, it'd definitely be right here. I'm not talking about a wolf bed. I'm just talking about something. Oh, my God. You see that tree with the white spots?

That was it. That was it. I just saw him torso up. Yeah, torso up. Naked from the, naked from the belt up. He had a nice set of tits, I'm telling you. I've never wanted to lick. A hairy set of tits so much.

And you should see my wife. She's got the hairiest of them all. I know what it was until he got into the clear, and I got a good look at it. Look at it. Okay, now we see a picture of that supposed wolfman. As drawn by Matthias. That is drawn.

Yes. As drawn by my one and a half year old daughter. That's not even a good picture. Oh, my God. That's not scary in the least. Look at that. That's clearly drawn with crayons. Yeah.

We need a picture. Anybody here at the production offices? Oh, I guess. I wish you would have told me. I took one of those art classes online. You know the kind you see on television? You two can be an artist? You want me to draw a wolfman.

I can draw a wolf man. Okay, go at it. What exactly is this? It's a wolf man. Looks like a penis with teeth. Not a lot of good-looking penis. Like a huge wolf. This thing was on its back legs.

Can you give us some kind of idea? you know, height, size. It was something that was in the neighborhood of seven foot tall, probably 400 pounds. What color was? It was about the color of coyotes in this area with a little more dark in it across the shoulders and down the back. It was not scared. He was blonde, but he looks like he hadn't had his hair done in a while.

He had roots. His eyebrows had just been done. You know what I'm saying. You know how it goes. Look at the one guy writing things. He's down like he's a detective. Well, he's the researcher. That's Jeff, the research.

Yeah, he's getting such great detail. Can you tell us about how big it was? I don't know, about seven foot. What color was he? Ah, you know, the color of a coyote. And what color is that? You know, the color of a squirrel. What color is that?

You know, like that tree over there. Very uneasy feeling. I didn't know whether to be afraid of it or not. Most animals. What? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. This is where you lost me. I mean, I would be afraid.

You see a 700 pound, seven foot monster. You went from 500 to 400 pounds. Yeah. Okay. So 400 pounds, seven foot. Standing on its back legs. Standing on its back legs. Going, r.

I said to myself, well, I don't know. Should I be afraid of this? Should I shoot it? Should I make a love to it? Should I ask it out for a drink? Should I invite it in for sweet tea? I don't know. I couldn't decide in that moment.

So I said, I'm going to go back. to the house and I'll chew on it. Maybe he wasn't afraid. No, I wouldn't be afraid either. Predator animal that just head for high country when I start hearing gunfire close to him, which this creature came in to check it out. Buck, you go down there, what tree you think it was,

and we'll take a look at you. A tree? What tree do you think it was? Which tree do you think he was standing closest to? That'll give us some investigative clues. Yep, looks like he likes pine. I am detecting his privy to the southeastern tall pine. I'm going to put that in my notes for my research.

John needs to know. Yeah, you know, when I put out my paper in the United States medical journals. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have somebody heavy thing you can do before 10 o'clock. Hi, cats and kittens, Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void? Like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3-3-T-CB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian, I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story. The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite Social Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video. YouTube.com slash the commercial break and TCBPodcast.com for all the info on the show.

Your free sticker? Or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date. With my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day. I ain't tall enough.

I understand I'm the young pup, but he likes to picket that a little bit. I'll just add two-foot cut. I'm sorry. What's true? What can I say? Rookie. By the way, this is the guy who takes charge later on down the road. Okay.

Buck. Yeah, Buck's the rookie. He's the rookie now. He doesn't have his big beard like he does in the other episodes. But he's the rookie now. Yeah. And he's going to have to go stand next to that tree. I understand I'm the rookie and I might have to do some things.

But standing next to this tree really got me quite nervous. Why? I'm not sure. I think they told us to act scared. Guys, what do you want me to do with that tree shot? Put Buck next to us. Hey, Buck, bow down a little bit. Now walk over to that tree right there.

Over to the tree on your left. Who's left? Put your hands up on the tree and walk over there. Which tree? Bend over, Buck. Show us what you're working with. Put your hands of all that tree. Put your hands up on that tree and shake that ass, Buck.

We'd like to put our rookies through a little bit of hazing. That's right. Okay, now drop your pants and show us your scrundlesack. Okay, now Joe's going to come over and tie you to the tree. We'll be back in two to four weeks to see if we caught a wolf man. Do us a favor. Remember any details you get in the wolfman banging you in the rear. Thanks, Buck. Talk to you soon.

Oh, guys. What we got here is we got Mountain Monsters Improv Comedy Troop going on. Now walk to the left. Now walk to the right. Which left? I know. And the travel shed, the producers on here are so stupidest to think people would find this funny. And the crazy thing is there's probably lots of people sitting in it home and go,

those mountain monsters. They know how to yuck it up, don't they? On your left, there's seven. 20 foot to your right. Yeah, there you go. Y'all, nice. To where I was going, dummy. There we go.

Now reach up there like seven or eight feet. I can't reach seven or eight feet. I can't reach seven or eight feet. I keep telling you. Now, disrobe from the belt up. Let me see your torso. This is so. That's great.

These guys are put together one of the funniest. If you look at it in the right way. And I know like, you know, like Mystery Science Theater 3,000, which this is an obvious, you know, owed to, right? I mean, this kind of comedy is done the best by some of the professionals. But it's just so ridiculous that it has to be comedy. Yes. Like these guys don't go home at night and think that they found a seven foot 400 pound monster men naked from the, tore us so up.

Eat Santa Claus, let's get this together. How's that? They're having fun. They're having fun. It's like having a teddy bear. Hey, guys. Like a what? That was creepy.

Yeah, he's like, the guy Lois on the totem pole always gets picked on. It's like having a teddy bear. You can poke it in the stomach. You can rub its genitalia. You can give it kisses on the back of its. Nick, come here, Buck. It's just part of the hazing. Just me are.

I had to go through it, too. It's just me, R. It's just me, R. Are you a big spoon or a little spoon, buck? Today, you're a big spoon. Hey, guys, come here. Yeah. You smell that?

Buck just farted. You smell that, that's waffle out. Come here. Here, guys, pull my finger. Yeah, look that. You all said? See something rubbed up against that tree. It was you.

You were just rubbing up against that tree. Yeah, it was just Buck. Yeah. Come on, Buck. I thought you were over there playing around. Look, you made a whole dent. He's doing some whacking by the whacking noodle. Oh, guys, I don't think this is such a good idea.

I love how they highlighted that it's a white spot on the tree. It's actually... You know, a good rain would do that. This is the most ridiculous thing. I know they put a nice flash in there, too. Everything in these shows is dictated by the music and the lighting. So when it's getting serious, like, it was just funny. And so they had, you know, but when it's serious, it's like,

they just throw a bunch of sound effects to try and make you think, yeah. He was only four fours and he was rubbing just about like that right there. That'd make him a good four foot when he's back. How do you know a bird didn't scratch us back on that? No, he's gone? A bird? Just right up on that. You want me to tell you what?

Why? Because the first thing you'll do, you'll up in a pretty scrap that tree right like that before he rubs on it. And damn little bear, a little bear would be rubbing up this hot. The rub would be up here. Wouldn't be down there. The scratch works would be up here. Now, do you understand?

I got you. He'd have his hand. way up high and he'd be pretend fucking this tree. Yeah. Do you understand? Do you understand? I got you. Uh, not pretty bad.

But I got you. Yeah. I trust you. You say so. I'm entirely sure what you just said. Doesn't seem to be much difference to me. The tree looks like a tree. But okay.

Our story was good. I think we better come back out here tonight and see if we can get some more evidence. We're going to find a wolf man and, uh, I need to report back. know what this is. If you guys can help me out, I'd appreciate it. I need to understand what I didn't invite in for sweet tea. I need to know if it's single. If you guys can help me, I appreciate it. I need to know. I never should be scared of it or not. I need to know what kind of music she likes.

Help me out. Help me out. This Tinder shit ain't flying. I need to know if I've got something I can have sex with out here or if I'm at a loss. You know what I'm saying? Because I was soft from the torso up. Look pretty good to me. A little hairy for my taste, but you know, man's got to do what a man's got to do. Hey, say, you guys are having to lower ashlet pants you're going to throw away? I'm going to make some hats out of them, which is my favorite part about this is he's literally wearing a floral print hat. A floral print du rag type thing. Yeah, du rag.

Well, you know, takes all kinds. We're out here in the middle of the night because it's absolutely the best time to investigate a predator. Wait, hold on. How do you know what the best time of night is to? The predator. The predator of a wolf man. There are lots of predators that eat during the day, including the apex predator, humans, whales, tigers, lions,

they all eat during the day. But okay, I'm following you. But let's go out of night. It's 143 in the morning, according to the clock. It's probably 9.15. We get our first interview with R today here in Wolf County, Kentucky. That was an interview? Starting up in here right now.

And this first night investigation, we're looking for any time. They were telling Buck to go left and amazing Buck? That was an interview. That was an interview? He said, we had our first interview with our today. He asked two questions. How tall was he? How big was he?

Point out where you saw him six years ago. Over there near the creek. Danger is unreal. This thing is huge. Security. Huckleberry. is heading up security. So we're listening to Huckleberry,

who's head of security. What are you securing? You're going to stop the wolfman from coming to eat everything in sight, according to you? Be on top of you and take two or three of us out in no time. No, if it starts charging, just go ahead and start shooting.

Once you start shooting, then you put one in him, he's coming. So be careful on that starting shooting. Just follow my lead. What? Be careful about stopping him from eating you because once you stop him from eating you, he's coming to eat you. So if he's not... If he's taking his five and a half foot paw with his sharp incisor, like nails, and he is clawing your heart out, be careful about kicking him into potatoes. Yeah, be careful.

Then your brain's gone. Okay? So you got... It's like a choice you got to make. You got to say, what I rather... lose my penis or let the other guys get away for a few minutes. Don't use that gun. Now, he's telling him this because obviously they can't use a gun on the show.

So, yeah. Eastern Kentucky is noted for their caves. So I'm looking for a rock overhine where he can find shelter. I'm looking for trails, tracks, scat, hair, anything that I can pick up to nail that he's in here. And I'm looking for this at night, even though we were here seven hours earlier during the daylight. I am looking at not. Why are they doing that? We're really taking in everything that we can see.

I know. Some researcher this guy is. He decided to go. I know. Well, first of all, our TV is, this TV in the studio for visual purposes is the best. We're looking for hair at night. We're looking for scat. Oh, guys, I'm sorry.

That was me. I took a dump. Let's run right here. We've got coyotes. Yeah. See it right there? Yeah. See them right here?

A couple days old. That's a 45-pounder. These are the balls. A 45-pounder. Well, it's gone from 700,000 pounds. Well, they're talking about coyote. Yeah, okay. K-9 don't pull his toe needles in like a cat.

As a researcher, I've spent years researching different things, different hunts, different tracking. if you don't know your animals, and if you don't know what you're doing, you're never going to be able to track a creature. As a researcher, hi, I'm Brian Green. And as a researcher, I've researched lots of shit in my life. I know about canned farts. I know about Joe Rogan and Spotify. I know about which camera angles work and do not work inside of this time of the studio. And D.D. Canters.

I'm now going to go out and hunt a wolf fan. as a researcher. What kind of researcher are you? I don't know. In which college are you? A professor emeritus, I'd like to know. Are you picking up anything on the thermals? On the thermals.

Thing could be right above us. Make sure you keep that thermal one here. It could be right above us. What is doing, flying around? What is he, a gummy bear? He's got secret tunnel. up in the trees. It could be above us.

Flying here and there and everywhere. Is that claw marks right there? And four claw marks right there. Is that claw marks? Looks like it, don't it? Yeah. It's a rock. It's just a rock.

It's a rock with a line in it. It's not claw marks. What's he doing? No. He's a rock climber? With this big overhang laying over top of us, We are very susceptible to any predator getting on us from that vantage point. He gets his paws in right there and then you see where he slipped and got a hole right there.

Yeah. Going right up right. See where he slipped. You see here where he was reading the New York Times while taking his shit and then he walked over to the bathtub and started it. And then over here he was having some Cheetos. Do you see that? Do you see how that happened? With his overhang, he could be right on top of us.

You never know. He could literally fall. from the sky like Batman. These guys are in a different universe. You see that. Even as a researcher, how do you make, I mean, this guy's literally pointing from far left to far right going, you see over here, he's calling over here,

and then he made his way over there, then down there, then he had a drink of water, went back up, took a fist, took a ship, came back down here, called his mom over here, he had dinner. Probably turkey. That's what the claw marks are telling me. There could easily be something up above us, watching us, stalking us, you know,

something could easily have its eye on us if we could be its next mail. No, guys, that's just me. I'm sorry. I was up here just hanging out. You told me to stay as far away from the action as possible so as not to catch anything on camera.

Remember when you said, oh, we're rolling? I'm sorry. It's my second day. I don't even know, I can tell you that. That's a spooky situation. I sense some action is coming here. Yeah, there's water running to. be right above us.

What's that up there? You all see this? Oh, I can't see anything. We're going to run around a rock right over here. My years of experience tells... Wait, is that a flashlight, guys? So what you see on the screen now is literally a fuzzy flashlight. It's like a dandelion.

Yeah, you see that over there? What, guys? I see someone. cell phone light. It's very pretty. I'm going to take a picture of it. This is a place where he could den up. I'm going to have to go up in there and check that out.

Move slug. Dude, it compels me to get closer to the danger. I think I smell them. These guys, if you saw a seven-foot wolf man. Yeah. Yeah. I would be doing this during the day. I mean, I'm not telling these guys how to do their job.

They're obviously the professionals here, but I might. do this during the day. Just saying. Yes. Watch around that corner, trapper. He's right there. Watch around that corner because that's super easy to do. Watch around that corner.

Right. Right. Yeah. Watch around that corner. Be careful of that corner. Watch through that cement brick. Watch around that corner. Be careful.

You're looking over in India. See what they're doing over that. There. Crab moss is knocked off right there. Uh-oh, moss has been knocked off. Oh, look in here. We're getting dangerous. Easy, easy, easy.

Look here. Look here. That's that? It's a skeleton. We're in a really rough, rough part of Kentucky. We're getting massive of them. It's known for car breakings. And wolfmen.

And wolfmen. It's known for his drug dealing in wolfmen. We're in the rough part. We're in the rough part. You know, the kind you don't go outside at night by yourself. But we're outside at night by ourselves. That's the best way to catch a wolf man. Out of reports of Wolfman sightings.

And that's what's brought us here tonight. I think we're going to get some really good results. What's around that? What results? What results? Are you giving him a P test? Are you doing a COVID test on the thing? What good results?

You know what a good result was? Get a fucking picture of them. At their 27,000 episodes. I want to see a picture. Yeah. But you're not going to because the cameraman, Billy, cannot keep up. Ever. A trapper.

If he's right there, he gets you. Look at that moss is knocked off right there. You can barely see what's going on. No, you can't see anything. Easy, easy, easy. Oh, what the heck is this? Whoa. Oh, bones.

A bone. Oh, my God. That's a kill sight. It's a kill sight. It's a kill site. It killed any libido my wife has for me. Killed our ratings. Kills my paycheck.

It's a kill site. It looks like a human. Does it? As a researcher, I'm pretty sure these are human bones here with its elongated nose and its four paws. That's a cow? I forget how to everything about it. I led the team right up into this old crevests right over here.

What? We're surfing around this rock. I got it right straight in for his damn feeding area. This is the biggest bone yard I've ever found. Bone yard. It's one cow. It's a bone yard. It's a skeleton.

By the way, that's completely clean of any dirt, mud, blood. Yeah, nothing. Yeah, no sinew or tissue or anything. It's been picked clean in a creek, perfectly preserved as if they bought it off of eBay or made it out of plaster molding. There's a deer carcass, another cow, ribs. Look here at the fever, bun. Those are chicken wings from Wendy's. Oh, that's me, guys.

I'm sorry. I thought that was the bone plate. This is big enough. He had a drugging 800-pound steer in here. Let me tell you what I know. That son of bitch will pull down a thousand pounds steer and run down a 40-mile-an-hour coyote. Whatever he did this, I've never encountered a creature like that. I can't believe it's big enough to drag back a bull.

The wolfman's a lot bigger. A bull. Someone say Red Bo? A bowl. Let me tell you some facts that I've understood as I understand them as a researcher. We came in here in the middle of the day to find something that looked like a clearing in the woods. Someone saw something torso up seven years ago. We came back at night because that's certainly the better time for the cameras.

That's right. These bones would not look as good with actual light on them. So now we've been searching in the dark and what I've found. Boneyard Kill Sight. That is a Boneyard Kill Sight. That is a 6 million pound bowl. Facts. He can outrun a coyote at 75 miles per hour.

He can pull a 3,000 pound bowl by his tail, swing them around and throw him up against the wall. And his bones just come flying out of his mouth here in the bone yard. And then takes him back, cooks them up medium rare. Doesn't like ketchup, he's like Chrissy Holy. Oh, my God. He has dinner. Maybe he watches dancing with the stars. Bachelor.

And then he goes back out for more, killing. Yeah, he'll kill him. This time he kills a bird. Looks like a chicken. Oh, that's a chicken wing. I'm sorry. Than I ever concede, this is going to be dangerous. We're up against a predator.

that no human beings should be up against. These bones were bleached out, he just hadn't been here for a while. There's none of this sight I'm reading this fresh song. The son of a bitch is a mountain monster. And that, folks, is our catchphrase. Just like best of you, that son of a bitch is a mountain monster.

He's a biggin. All right, we'll get back to part number two. I promise. Settle down, everybody. Did we just get through 10 minutes? Oh, we didn't even get through 10 minutes. I mean, I don't even think we're at the first commercial break on this show. But that's because we can't shut up.

But, I mean, that's the whole point of the show. Yeah, it's funny. It's fun to do this. I love these mountain monsters. Okay, we'll get back to this. I actually, we'll have to make sure I figure out what time this is so I can actually start it again. But I just love this show. Oh, my God.

It's amazing. The first time I saw it, I knew that it's comedy gold. It is comedy gold. You cannot make this shit up. I mean, they do make this shit up. Yeah, you know, you can't make this shit up. It's just one of those things. So here is how we do it.

I'd like you to go to TCB Podcast.com. That's where you can find out more about Chrissy and I. You can listen to all the audio. You can watch all the video. Or you can go to YouTube.com slash the commercial break. If you go there, and if you're so inclined, please subscribe to the channel. Helps this out more than you know. Like and comments on any of the videos you may be interested in.

We do clips of the shows every day of the week. We do in the studio, which is YouTube exclusive. You can only find it on YouTube at least once a week. Yeah, so go there and check it out if you would. We'd really like it. Go to at TCB Chrissy or at the commercial break. Follow us on Instagram. I have an Instagram too, but I don't do much with it.

I'm too famous. I'm tagging you. Too famous. Yeah, she's tagging me. That's my content is being tagged in other people's photographs. I'm too good for Instagram. I got other shit I'm worrying about. I got to edit the show and all that stuff.

I got all my time wasted in this studio. Thank you. I appreciate that. You're very helpful. Still don't trust you. You don't like ketchup. Yeah, at the commercial break on Instagram at TCB Chrissy 661. Best 2-Yo 6-1-237-8296.

Send us a text message about what you'd like to see us talk about. And if you're lucky, you're going to get a wildcard Wednesday episode and all of that content is going to be driven by decisions made here in this studio or by you, the listener. Or by Huckleberry. Or R. This episode brought to you about a little R. So if you have a content idea, make sure you text it to us and we will get on it. And we appreciate it. Some people do text us and they let us know what they'd like to hear on the show.

And, you know, I'd say seven out of ten times I use it. Yeah. And maybe the other two or three percent, I just haven't gotten to it yet. So, okay. How much more can we do today? I think that's it. How much more can I love you? I love you.

Okay. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we must say, we always say, we do say. Bye. Bye. The commercial break.

New episodes on Tuesdays. And now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Visit TCBPodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Haudley, with additional content provided by Tina Connell.