The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Ari Shaffir

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an ad from BetterHelp online therapy. We always hear about the red flags to avoid in relationships, but it's just as important to focus on the green flags. If you're not quite sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify those qualities so you can embody the green flag energy and find it in others. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online and sign up only takes a few minutes. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com. Here we go. You want me to start at the feet or you want me to start at the head?

Starting point is 00:00:32 Because I'm really wanting to blister some of y'all's haircuts. Amen. That's right. I mean, you're in an independent Baptist church and you got a King James Bible in your hand and you got a contemporary liberal hairdo. What in the world is wrong with you? Would you boys quit trying to look like the world? You ain't as cool as you think you are. You ain't as tough as you think you are. I want to get you a haircut that's high and tight over your ears and off your collarline and look like somebody that's been to the barber shop instead of a beauty salon. Amen. Amen. There you go.

Starting point is 00:01:06 On this episode of The Commercial Break. I learned the word for like beef, and then I'm like, what beef? And then they point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes, and I'm like, ah. All right, just guess. Not the dog. Not the dog. Not the dog. Please. Yeah, I had dog once.

Starting point is 00:01:29 I didn't have it, but I saw it on the menu once. Did you? Did you really? Yeah, like what is that? They told me. I was like, what's that word? And they were like, muck, muck, muck. And I was like, chicken?

Starting point is 00:01:39 And they're like, no, no, muck, bark, bark. Bark. And I was like, oh, that's all right. That's all right. Yeah. I'll pass on, bark. Bark. I was like, oh, that's all right. That's all right. Yeah, I'm going with that. Yeah. I'm fast on the bark. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:49 The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. News! News! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Starting point is 00:02:07 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on a Tuesday after the Super Bowl. One of the most uneventful Super Bowls in his, I mean, eventful in the sense that it happened and there were commercials. It was weird. And Kendrick Lamar was there and so was Donald Trump and Taylor Swift. We'll get into all of that tomorrow in detail. But wow, what a blowout.

Starting point is 00:02:30 I mean, it was zero. The Philadelphia Eagles manhandled Patrick Mahomes. Manhandled Mahomes. Probably the best quarterback, certainly, of our, you know, in this time period. Shocking. It really was. I don't know the first fucking thing about football and I was shocked. Totally shocked. And during the second quarter I was like, well, this is over, I guess.

Starting point is 00:02:52 I guess we're just going to all sit here and watch the Eagles. Absolutely, it looked like, it honestly looked like a high school team playing a flag football team. It was like unbelievable how the Eagles tore them apart in every aspect of the game. What do they have like a hundred yards of total offense or something like that? And I don't even know what that means, Chrissy.

Starting point is 00:03:14 I don't even know what that means. Yeah, going into halftime, it was like 23. It was, yeah, it was 23 to nothing and 30 to nothing within the third. Anyway, TCB Infomercial Tuesday. You're not here to hear, listen to football. I know, listen about football. I know that if you're here to hear Brian talk about football,

Starting point is 00:03:30 change the channel. Not gonna do it. TCB Infomercial Tuesday with Ari Shaffir. He is here with us. I'm so excited to talk to Ari. Ari is a noted comic who has many specials out there. He's been doing this for a very long time. A podcaster, longer than I guarantee you and I have even known what,

Starting point is 00:03:49 I've known about podcasts for a long time. I guarantee he was doing it long before we even heard the word podcast. He's been on the bandwagon since early. He has. 2015, I think, is when he started his first podcast. He's made many appearances on many different podcasts, including the Rogan Show, Tom Segura's podcast. And then he's got his own podcast called UB Trippin, which is very good.

Starting point is 00:04:10 I've listened to it. It's really funny. Now my fourth episode, and I've really been enjoying it. I just listened to the one with Jim Gaffigan, which I thought was really good. Wait, did you listen? Harland. I listened to the Harland. Oh, you listened to the Harland?

Starting point is 00:04:21 You listened to Harland Williams. OK, well, we'll talk more about that with Ari. And now he's got his brand new Netflix special, Oh, you listen to the Harland? You listen to Harland Williams. Okay, well, we'll talk more about that with Ari. And now he's got his brand new Netflix special is out, America's Sweetheart. This one has got me, that one had me rolling on the floor. Yeah, it's really funny. He is really good at what he does. So, Ari is here, we're going to talk all about it. He's also got his farewell tour. I'd like to get to the bottom of that. Why is he faring well? I don't know. We're going to find out. Will this be an eagle? No pun intended. Will this be an eagle's type situation where Ari just says it's farewell and then he comes back seven or eight times? Or is this the nail in the coffin for Ari Shafir? We will find out,

Starting point is 00:05:01 Chrissy. Yes, we will. Because I will go right at him. I'm going to ask him the tough questions, like, why are you calling this the farewell tour? If you're looking for hard-hitting interview styles where Brian talks over the guests the entire time, this is your place, my friends, this is your place. But before we get to that, I have one note. Chrissy and I last week went and saw Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers. Long time coming, I got these tickets for my brothers and for my father to go see Bill Murray, who the entire family just really enjoys. Bill Murray, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:32 And we're from Chicago. There's some connections there. So my dad has been kind of putting Bill Murray in front of us since we were little kids in the first Saturday, you know, Saturday night, early years of Saturday Night Live, all of his movie, Caddy Shack, of course, we can go on and on with our stripes.

Starting point is 00:05:46 Wasn't he in Stripes? He was in Stripes, which is one of the funniest fucking movies ever. That is Bill Murray at his zenith, in my opinion. Either that or What About Bob. It just depends on which style you like. You could go Lost in Translation. One of my favorite.

Starting point is 00:06:00 Oh, Groundhog Day. Oh, Groundhog Day. That's my favorite. Caddyshack, a million other movies. Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters 2. Every single Wes Anderson movie he's been in. Yes. Love those. Which was the one about the school, the kid in the school. They're the Royal Tenenbaums. Royal Tenenbaums was fantastic, but there was the one about the school. Anyway, you get it. He's been in a ton of those. So Chrissy and I went and saw Bill Murray and the Blood Brothers, or as we found out,

Starting point is 00:06:29 the Blood Brothers, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, with Bill Murray playing the tambourine. And the cowbell. And the cowbell. And he sang a few songs. We'll talk more about that later on this week also. But I thought there was an interesting little through line there when last night I was watching the Super Bowl, the big game as they call it, Chrissy, down in the big easy, if you don't mind. And Bill Murray popped on for about 15 seconds and gave his email address. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:56 BillHimselfatYahoo.com. Now, I know I was getting tricked, but I had to go along with it anyway. You wanted to see what it was. I had to take the chance that we might actually be emailing Bill Murray, that Bill might have spent four and a half million dollars just to have people email him so he could fuck around, right? Because that's the kind of guy that Bill is. He doesn't have a cell phone.

Starting point is 00:07:16 He doesn't have an agent. He only has a home phone that he never answers, apparently in Charleston, that Chrissy and I have tried to dial a number of times. We did. And an email address is like one of the only ways that you can get a script over to Bill. It's like there's story after story after story about how hard it is to try and get Bill Murray to be involved in anything. So I thought, who the fuck still has a Yahoo address? I know.

Starting point is 00:07:36 Who? No one. So clearly this is his real email address, because this is the way Bill Murray would have done it. Fax machine and Yahoo email address. That's clearly what's got to be going on here. So I emailed that fucking email address and what comes back is the strangest fucking story about him being a dog, seeing a dog in the mirror and then he had to go to the vet to get checked out. It's like a really weird convoluted, complicated marketing scheme, I guess is the best way to put it, for Yahoo Mail, an effort- To bring back Yahoo.

Starting point is 00:08:10 It's not going to happen. We all have bad memories of our Yahoo accounts. We're not going back there. We all have bad memories of not being able to email, not understanding what email is, and Nigerian email scammers. We all have a bad memory about trying to get $14 million out of South Africa. Okay? We all have it.

Starting point is 00:08:29 Everyone's got that story because Yahoo put us in that position. And I'm sorry, Yahoo. I'm not going back. If I show up to a meeting, any meeting, even though I'm a dumb, mediocre comedy podcaster, if I was to show up to a meeting and say, yeah, my email address is Brian of a podcast that Yahoo dot com. People would laugh me out of the room. There's no serious person in the world that still has a Yahoo email address.

Starting point is 00:08:52 Is there? I don't think so. No. Chrissy said no. Even further back is AOL. Oh, don't even get me started on AOL. I actually just emailed with a guy who had an AOL email address. Yeah, people still have them.

Starting point is 00:09:03 It's crazy. I think AOL is still sending out those disks for three hours of internet. Download now. Yeah. And then it would take you three hours to get the disks to load onto your computer. Yeah, listen, those were the early pioneers of the internet, but they just kind of mishandled the whole situation. Didn't Yahoo get bought by somebody? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:09:23 I had a friend who worked for Yahoo for the longest time. He was like, he would make banner ads for Yahoo. Not for their clients, but for Yahoo. And he would make like the tiles that would show up on the homepage. And he was really good at what he did. He was like a really good designer. And Yahoo paid him a dick shit of money to do this. Day after day, night after night, he would create them like five in a day. And Yahoo apparently was a great company to work for. But somewhere along the way, Yahoo fell out of favor. And I don't know how that happened.

Starting point is 00:09:54 Yeah, they were a whole like homepage. You could get onto there and see all your news and weather and all of that and took your email. Yeah. And then it, yeah, we all migrated. We all migrated to Google, where now they just, I don't know, it just says Google on it. It doesn't give you any information, it just says Google. But Yahoo was so embedded in my life that I remember feeling, you know, there's like certain brands that you buddy up to, you really feel like,

Starting point is 00:10:19 you know, you're there. That's my brand. Like Bud Light was my brand for a while. I really liked Bud Light. I wouldn't drink anything else if I had the choice. I was a Bud Light guy. When I walked in and I saw that blue box, I knew that was mine. She knew I was hers and I knew she was mine. That kind of thing. Yahoo! I had that same sentiment for a while because Jam Land know, Jam Land Productions at yahoo.com. Jam Land. Jam Land. Jam Land. Ever got into Jam Land.

Starting point is 00:10:50 By the way. Your foray into, was it EDM? Live music production. Yes, we would put on festivals and live EDM concerts at clubs, fashion shows, grateful dead shows, slash EDM concert. Hey, we're just a little bit ahead of our time with that one. But jamlandproductions.yahoo.com, probably still out there somewhere, I would imagine. But I felt like some kinship with Yahoo because they were my email service provider.

Starting point is 00:11:23 But I think once I got a Blackberry, it just all turned to shit. I thought, ah, I don't need that Yahoo anymore. But you know, strange thing about Jam Land Productions, that name is actually still alive and kicking with the- I'm sure. With Pete, the guy- Oh, right, with your guy.

Starting point is 00:11:38 Wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy wiggy Yes, with the DJ. He's still putting on shows under the name Jam Land Productions. There you go. We must go check one out. We must. You know who else is putting on shows? Who's that?

Starting point is 00:11:51 Ari Shaffir is putting on shows. He's on tour. He's on his farewell tour. He's hitting a bunch of different cities, including Atlanta, so we'll have to have a conversation with him about that. We'll angle for free tickets. We'll see what happens. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:02 Ari is very popular. He's got many specials out there on YouTube. You can go to arichefir.com. For all of the information, I will put links in the show notes. You can also check out his new special, America's Sweetheart, which is doing apparently well on Netflix, it pops up.

Starting point is 00:12:18 I don't know if Netflix just like, throws those things in front of me. It's probably an algorithm, right? Yeah, it is. You like this, so you like that. I've read about it a lot back, yeah. All right, they're fucking with me like the rest of the internet is? me. It's probably an algorithm, right? Yeah, it is. You like this, so you like that. I've read about it a lot back, yeah. All right, they're fucking with me like the rest of the internet is?

Starting point is 00:12:28 It's all an algorithm. Anyway, you might have to go searching for it, but Ari Shaffir has a new special called America's Sweetheart, and it is very good. You should go watch it. We're gonna talk to Ari about all of his comings and goings and maybe ask him about a few pop culture things and see what, get his temperature.

Starting point is 00:12:44 What do you think? Okay, we'll take a break, Chrissy. Let's do this. Let's take a break and then do the magic of tele-podcasting. We're going to have Ari right here in studio, on that TV, live and in person in front of us. We get to ask all the questions. Are you, every question's ready? I'm down with it, yeah. Okay, take notes. We'll take a break and we'll be back. Okay, take notes. We'll take a break and we'll be back. ["Turkey in the Air"]

Starting point is 00:13:07 Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boy's room, let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you?

Starting point is 00:13:21 Ooh, that was some childhood trauma. Rear in its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822, and you could be the next TCB disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice? You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is.

Starting point is 00:13:41 Find us on Insta at the commercial break. On the web at tcbpodcast.com, and all the episodes on video are available the same day at YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of The Commercial Break. I'll take a raise now. Bitch bitches. Bye. Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments. Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game. Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card,

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Starting point is 00:15:26 Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Ari, thanks so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it. Welcome. Thanks guys. Thank you very much. Yeah. You're in the beautiful city of Nash, Vegas right now?

Starting point is 00:15:41 Yeah, it's pretty rough. I got drunk yesterday. You got what? Drunk the night before. Drunk yesterday. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville.

Starting point is 00:15:51 Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville.

Starting point is 00:15:59 Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville. Nashville'm in East Nashville for the first time, which is kind of cooler. Still some crime, still some hipsters. That's where the new gays are coming to try to take it back. Yeah, it's got a little grit to it.

Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah. You're doing a number of shows in Vegas, huh? I mean in Nashville, huh? Yeah, I got five. They're all great. They're Club Rules. It's a really cool place. Yeah, I got to hang out with Nate yesterday and his wife. Were you doing, but you weren't doing a show with Nate, were you? Mm-mm. No, we don't have the same market at all. He took leave. We got along, but he's like,

Starting point is 00:16:35 oh, I could never expose my audience. No, no. Nate is clean as a whistle. When I watched his recent special, I talked about it here on the air. It's clean as a whistle. It's a different kind of comedy a whistle. It's different. It's a different kind of comedy than I'm normally listening to.

Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah, me too. But I thought he did an excellent job. He's really good at his craft, but so are you. America's Sweetheart is an excellent, excellent set of comedy. Uh, you did a really good job. I thought it was really funny. Congratulations on it. Heck yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:01 Thank you. Thank you. I'm just trying to get people to calm down a little bit. Yeah, I agree. I agree, thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm just trying to get people to calm down a little bit. Yeah, I agree. I agree with something you said. I wanted to point this out because we were talking about Kanye the other day and his young lady running down the red carpet.

Starting point is 00:17:14 What a dress. First of all, listen, you don't have to wear a giant coat if you wear anything underneath. You can just wear a t-shirt and a hoodie. That's it. It would make the same as a mink and nothing. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:29 You were saying there is no sacred ground anymore. All stock value is gone. Once your vag is out, then there's nothing else left to the imagination. I mean, why even? It's just nouges. I know. Why even have the thing? We asked the same question. Which I'm for.

Starting point is 00:17:41 Yeah. What is it pushing? What agenda is it pushing? Well, you know, what agenda is it pushing? Obviously you're there to get cameras. I know one thing it's pushing. It's a great body. Absolutely. Go for her. No doubt about that.

Starting point is 00:17:57 No doubt about that. Yeah. Not one person was like, oh, gross body. No. They were all like, I mean, the canvas is great. Excellent specimen. I guess it got people talking, right, gross body. They were all like, I mean, the canvas is great. I don't know. Excellent specimen. I guess it got people talking, right?

Starting point is 00:18:08 It did, that was the purpose. And that's what, you know, that's what Kanye does very well as he gets people talking. And I was telling Chrissy here, I said, this is the first time my wife has ever sent me a nude photograph of a woman that was not her. So mark the time, mark the place. She was like, did you see this?

Starting point is 00:18:24 And I see it, I'm zooming in. Yeah. Quaddra, sixth gene, zoom, enhance. For like 15 minutes, Rolling Stone had the unedited photograph on their Instagram. And I'm sure everybody took a screenshot like I did. But now when Astrid looks at my phone and she sees a nude woman, I'm going to be like,

Starting point is 00:18:41 you sent it to me. So I don't want anyone complaining. I didn't even know there were nude women until you sent me that one. Now it's all I can think about. But yeah, Kanye's music rules, that's what we should focus on. Not his day there like a loony.

Starting point is 00:18:56 That is the point that you made that I thought was pretty prescient. And we had this conversation in the studio a couple of weeks ago. We were kind of talking about how some of my children are now listening to Michael Jackson because Michael Jackson is in some of these cartoon movies that he's got, like he's got, you know, the bad thriller and stuff like that.

Starting point is 00:19:11 And I was like, I wonder if that's, you know, I wonder if I should have any feelings about that. But I really don't because sometimes it's important to separate the art from the artist. And you said something interesting. I'm not going to butcher your joke, but you said something interesting, I'm not gonna butcher your joke, but you said something interesting, I don't follow Kanye on Twitter, I follow him on Spotify. And I think that was a really well done joke

Starting point is 00:19:32 that is a prescient point. Like all artists are fucking Looney Tunes. We went and saw- Looney, Looney Tunes. Chris Yeller went last night and saw Bill Murray and his blood brothers, the band. So Bill Murray, singing, playing drums, and tambourine very poorly.

Starting point is 00:19:50 I'm a cowbell. Yeah. Bill Murray, the comedian, comic actor? Yeah, the comic actor. It was crazy. He's got like a eight piece band that he travels around with. Well, let's be real about this.

Starting point is 00:20:01 It's the band with Bill Murray sitting in the back. Right, right, right. That's the band. How was it? It was actually entertaining. It was actually entertaining, yeah. I give it a 10. I think that's a good way to put it. It was entertaining.

Starting point is 00:20:13 I don't want to knock it because we had a ton of fun. We laughed a lot. But this is a $5 cover band anywhere else without Bill Murray. Like this is the band, the house band at some cheap bar that serves cheap bar that, you know, bar that serves $5 drafts. That's what it is. But they were talented, no doubt. They were talented. There was a lot of good saxophones.

Starting point is 00:20:31 It makes sense there. I can't say that about Bill. I wanna see it. Yeah. Oh yeah, you've got to. You've got to. But yeah, they're all loaded to X. You can't judge them for anything

Starting point is 00:20:41 other than the thing they put out. Exactly. Yeah, it's the biggest one. I don't want my artists, You can't judge them for anything other than the thing they put out. Exactly. Yeah. I don't want my artists if they're not a little bit insane. Do you know what I'm saying? Take away all the people who have done shit, all the artists who have done shitty, crazy things and go and take your, I don't know, your Spotify playlist or your CDs or your albums or whatever. Go take them and throw them in the garbage and you will have nothing left. There's nothing else there.

Starting point is 00:21:06 So yeah, Kanye's a little crazy, but he's- There's nothing else there. You take heroin out of the arts for nothing. Right. It's true. It's true. It's true. So tell me about the traveling.

Starting point is 00:21:20 I got more into Kanye after all this, legitimately. Did you? As everything was coming up and I was like, and then my friends were like, hey, I know he's like supposed to be like Kate's Jews or whatever, but have you heard this one song? And I'm like, oh my God, that's really good. How did I miss that one?

Starting point is 00:21:35 Like, it helped me focus on his music. And I was like, I was music, I passed by it. This is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Black Skinhead slaps. buy it. This is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Black skinhead slaps. Do you, do you think, while we're talking about Kanye, are you under the assumption, I am, that he's just trolling everybody? That that's just like a master troll?

Starting point is 00:21:57 Yes, 100%. I mean, I'm a troll, so I can recognize it. He's just saying stuff that gets people upset. And it's also like, some of it's like high school level. Right. But Hitler had some good ideas. Like we were saying that in fifth grade in a Jewish school just to like tweak at each other. Right. It's like, right, right, right.

Starting point is 00:22:15 Yeah. It's just the easiest way to say something that opens people up. Cause you know, the Volkswagen was cool. Yeah. It's like, you know, the Volkswagen was cool. Yeah. Take that away from them. A hundred percent.

Starting point is 00:22:28 Something came out. Something came out of it. Yeah. Listen, the mustache never caught up. So that was a failure. It's true. I think it's illegal in some parts of the world to have that mustache. Actually, isn't it in Germany? I think.

Starting point is 00:22:39 Really? I think, I think frowned upon. I think frowned upon. Yeah. Germans got superset. I do know for a fact that you cannot have the name Adolf anywhere in Germany. That's a name that you cannot put on a birth certificate.

Starting point is 00:22:51 Yeah. Really? He ruined it. He did. No, there's no more Adolf. One bad egg. One bad egg ruins it. Super bad egg.

Starting point is 00:23:00 Yeah. What's going to happen to all the Donalds out there of 150 years for an hour? The Joes. What are we going to do, Chrissy, when we can't name our kids Donald or Joe anymore? Yeah. Yeah. What's gonna happen to all the Donalds out there of 150 years for an hour? The Joes, what are we gonna do, Chrissy, when we can't name our kids Donald or Joe anymore? Yeah. You have an excellent podcast called You Be Trippin'. It's really good.

Starting point is 00:23:15 What gave you the premise? You've actually, I have to say this, Ari, you've been doing podcasting a lot longer than people have known about podcasting. Weren't you on Rogan's episode number two or three or something? Yeah, we were pretty early on. We all were like looking for a way away from radio.

Starting point is 00:23:30 We can't cuss and we had to wake up at 6 a.m. to do it. Yeah. It sucked, it always sucked. You get some dumb fucking local DJ didn't know anything. It was just kinda like, what are we doing here? We can't even curse. Yeah, and so then it was like, I wish there was a way to do this in the afternoon

Starting point is 00:23:46 and then with cussing, but nothing was there. And then suddenly something popped their heads off and comedians loved it, who drove right into it. Yeah, it certainly has become a vehicle that- It's like 15 years, it's crazy how long it's been around at this point. Yeah, it's been around for 15 years. When did you do your first podcast?

Starting point is 00:24:03 Like 2010, right? Yeah, I was on Rogan's pretty early then then like probably a year later. I started my old one. I stopped but like Yeah, I did that for like 10 or 12 years. I know this new one. It's just it's just like you have to become part of the landscape Now it's pretty wise. It really is. I think that if you're a comedian an entertainer I mean, it's like it's staying it's just a thing you have to do as a rubber stamp. You have to get people didn't even know what they were. No, I wouldn't ask people to be a guest. My podcast is like, what is it?

Starting point is 00:24:30 I'm like, it's like an internet radio thing. It won't be live. Uh, just to explain the whole format. Yeah. Like how, like I, that's not what I want to get into. When you come over and let me talk to you. When we did our first podcast and we would, I mean, this is five or six years ago. We come from radio.

Starting point is 00:24:48 We come from radio. We worked in radio back in the, at the tail end of the demise of what was radio. You brought it down. You killed it with that. That's true. Luckily we weren't on air. We were on the business side of things. So it was even shittier on the sales side than it was on the on-air side. You thought the on-air guys were buffoons. You should have seen some of the people we worked with. I mean, used car sales. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:15 Oh, that must have been great, local radio and the people that came at you guys. Oh, yeah. It was entertaining. Yeah, you're like going to a dry cleaner and begging them to spend a thousand dollars on two spots that are clearly or might bring them some business. But you have to be convinced that this is it and knowing damn well that every other

Starting point is 00:25:34 radio station in town is every other person in town has come to them. We used to hear stories that in radio when we got into, this is like 2005, 2006, so right when podcasting was coming online, we worked for Clear Channel and what is now iHeart Radio, they didn't even have an app yet. Like it was coming online when we were starting. So we used to hear stories about the heyday back in the 90s where they would have a margarita machine

Starting point is 00:26:01 next to the fax machine. Next to the cocaine. Next to the cocaine and the fax machine next to the cocaine. Next to the cocaine. And the fax machine would just ring all day. People just sending an order. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of radio because that was kind of the only game in town. You were either doing TV or radio

Starting point is 00:26:15 and TV was prohibitively expensive. So, but by the time we got there. That wasn't the game. Things were a little bit different. They were just talking about what it used to be. That's when I started comedy, they kept talking about the 80s. Like, it was great. There were lines around the block. We were talking in a room that was supposed to have a show, but no one showed up in. Like, wow, sounds amazing.

Starting point is 00:26:34 Yes, sounds great. Congratulations on you. That sounds good for you. But I think comedy right now is kind of seeing a renaissance it has. Oh, yeah, it's great. It's great. It's great. Everybody's talking about it. Yeah, the podcast and the comedy.

Starting point is 00:26:48 It's so popular around the world. In Amsterdam, every local show is packed. Really? Yeah, in Berlin, there's mobbed every show. Do you yourself do a lot of traveling for comedy? I mean, besides here, like the continental United States, do you do a lot of traveling outside the US? No, I do. So it's, comedy is really pretty cool. Even when you're just beginning, there's this occasional like free trip to a wild place. Yeah, that's what I was wondering.

Starting point is 00:27:14 Yeah. Me and my friend, Paul Morrissey, we got, we got, we did this comedy festival in Montreux, Switzerland in like 2009 or 10. Yeah. Free trip out there. They room and board. We had them fly us back from Amsterdam. So then we're like, let's take the train to Amsterdam today. And we just kind of made a deal with each other. Like, let's keep doing these. Right.

Starting point is 00:27:34 I got flown to Hong Kong and Shanghai, um, Iceland. And these are all times where I could not afford these trips. For sure. Yeah. You're not, and then you're out there. Yeah. And then there's somebody there telling you like, I got the hotel these trips. For sure. Yeah. You're not out there. Yeah. And then there's somebody there telling you like, I got in a hotel for you. We're so scary.

Starting point is 00:27:49 It's kind of like pre like easy internet. Yeah. Um, and everything's so funny to like, Oh, I got a hotel for you. I'll take care of from the airport. And then they just tell you some details like in Shanghai, like, Hey, it's really safe here. The punishments are violent crime or wild. It's like an embarrassment thing in this culture. So like no one's,

Starting point is 00:28:07 like drunk women will fall asleep with their phone in their hand and wake up with their phone in their hand. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. So once they told me that I was like, Oh, I'm free. And I would just like wander out to like, places I couldn't communicate. I'd learned the word for like beef. And then I was like, what beef?

Starting point is 00:28:21 And then they point to a giant sign of like 30 different beef dishes and I'm like, ah, all right, just guess. Not the dog. Not the dog. Yeah. I had dog once. I didn't have it, but I saw it on the menu once. It was teamwork.

Starting point is 00:28:35 I was like, yeah. Like, what is that? They told me, I was like, what's that word? And they were like, bonk bonk bonk. I was like, chicken? And they're like, no, no, bonk, bark, bark. I don't know. like, chicken? And they're like, no, no, bark, bark, bark. I don't know, like, oh, that's all right. That's all right.

Starting point is 00:28:49 Yeah, I'll go with that. Yeah. I'll pass on the bark. Yeah. Um, it was like room temperature. You could tell it wasn't even fresh. It's like, this isn't even the time that I start with dog. Oh.

Starting point is 00:29:00 You know, the same, like, would you ever try human meat? And I was like, well, okay, what did they do? They had to have done something wrong. And then also like, how's it prepared? Find chef or just lying around. I'm not eating raw, like alive, you know. But yes, flow me all over. So it's like really great.

Starting point is 00:29:18 And now now I like book gigs, you know, even though I can't afford, but it's like trips through Europe. I did one tour in Greece and then stayed for like a week. Oh yeah. Matched up, uh, Australian tour with this like rugby match. How did you like Australia? I love Australia. They're the biggest coke heads in the world.

Starting point is 00:29:38 They're the biggest coke heads and with the worst coke. So if you meet an Australian outside of Australia, the coke like, the coke is great here and it's so cheap. You're like, no, it's not. It's full of baby lexadine. Yeah. Well, yeah, they don't grow it naturally. Everything there has got to be imported, right? So it's, that's probably why it's some of the worst cocaine

Starting point is 00:29:59 and it's so far away from anything. Yeah, where are they getting the cocaine from? It's certainly not coming from South America, China probably, I would imagine. Yeah, maybe. Where does Europe get their cocaine? From Africa. Oh, really? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:12 I think they ship it over and they run it through Africa. We went to Seville, Spain for a wedding, which is near the Cape. So you could take a boat over to Africa. And one of the guys was telling me that this, that Seville, while the beautiful and pretty tame town in general is known to have a lot of drug running through it. Like people will take over those boats, you know,

Starting point is 00:30:34 those ferries. Cause it's on the water. Yeah. Cause it's on the water and they'll, then they'll run drugs up into Europe and to Spain. Yeah. On a ferry. On a ferry.

Starting point is 00:30:44 And, and Great Britain's appetite for cocaine has grown exponentially. So there's a lot of drug running that goes around, that goes on through Spain so that they can get it up to Europe. I know all about the cocaine and don't ask me why. It's not because I spent 10 years of my life staring at myself in a mirror on the table. I was doing some self reflection. I'll be here all week. This is everybody like, do you like Coke? No, I don't like it. Wait, do you have some? Yeah. Hey man, that guy over there, he's a Coke head. Yeah, really? I'm going to go, I'll go talk to him.

Starting point is 00:31:25 I'll tell him to beat it. I'll go talk to him, probably get out of here. I'll talk to him. I'll be back in two to three hours. We're going to go to the bathroom together. Definitely, you didn't know what cocaine was and you're like, why is everyone's bladder so small?

Starting point is 00:31:37 I know. Everyone just keeps getting up. I've been to those parties. Yeah. Before you knew what it was. Those were the only parties I went to for a long time. Right. Yeah, I was a manager at a bar and it was just clear as day.

Starting point is 00:31:53 If you knew what to look for, and I did, because it takes one to know one, right? If you knew what to look for, you would know. And then, of course, you always had the local dealer, the guy. That sits at the bar. That sits at the bar and you just kind of keep them in check a little bit. You're like, hey, don't be so obvious about it, you know, because it's good for business. Yeah, be less obvious about your cocaine. It was, we talked to Steve Oh, it was like our couple, I don't know, year, year and a half ago, and

Starting point is 00:32:16 Steve was telling us that when he was getting high, he had a night with Mike Tyson where they did two eight balls of cocaine. They sat in a Las Vegas bathroom for four hours. Eight balls of cocaine, him and Mike Tyson. He told this story and for like five minutes I didn't say it where my jaw was on the floor. I was like, think about being in a room coked up with a certified killer, a small room. And I know Mike, he seems now like a very self-reflective, smart, empathetic human being, but there was a time. This is Coke Mike. Yeah, it's true.

Starting point is 00:32:53 This is not mushroom Mike. Mushroom Mike is nice. Coke Mike is a problem. Tell me what your favorite place to visit is, like all the places you've been what is your favorite? I'm always gonna go to Iceland. How was that? Awesome, it's gorgeous. It looks beautiful Yeah, and then I have a friend who started the Icelandic comedy scene also named Ari and so he was like let's do a little tour

Starting point is 00:33:17 I'll look leave my family for a couple days. They show me the north and he knew all the little secret spots He's like over chic meadow here. I think there was like a fissure. I remember this when I was a kid and we found a rope. You just climbed down. It's just a hot spring, like a natural hot spring in this fissure. Oh my God. Yeah. And like no one's there.

Starting point is 00:33:33 You're just there swimming around in like, in this hot water, like swimming, not just soaking in it. For like two hours. No one's there. Wow. It's so, it's just so out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still rules.

Starting point is 00:33:45 And the chicks are so hot. That's what I've heard. Yeah. They all look exactly the same. Yeah. They're all blonde and six feet tall. Yeah. And they're forward-taken.

Starting point is 00:33:54 You're like, can I buy you a drink? They're like, why? All over Scandinavia. And I said, like, why? What do you mean? Why would you buy me a drink? Oh, really? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:01 They're so equal there. It's like, it's foreign to the beer. I love that. Hey, that's incredible. Is it? a drink? Oh, really? Yeah. They're so equal there. It's like, it's foreign to the beer. Hey, that's incredible. Is it? Yeah. So is Iceland one of the favorite places that you've been? I said, yeah, I like going to places where like, it's kind of like, I can't

Starting point is 00:34:17 like communicate with anybody or I can't like, uh, exactly. Or I can't even like talk to home. It's like too far out where I'm really, really lost. Yeah. Going through like Southeast Asia, through like Myanmar and East Timor and Indonesia and South America too, where I'm like, it's just real rural. Yeah. You just have to like try to get some of the language to where you

Starting point is 00:34:39 can like just order some food. You like a challenge. You like to travel where it's a bit of a challenge. A new experience. I like being uncomfortable some food. You like a challenge. You like to travel where it's a bit of a challenge. A new experience. I like being uncomfortable. Yeah. And then Berlin also is great for drugs. Berlin is the best.

Starting point is 00:34:52 Berlin is the best city. I have heard Berlin is like the wildest party seen on earth. Wild. And nobody cares about anything negative. They only care about the positive. So there's, there's no more like bitching about like, well, I raised this way. And it was hard that they're all past that. Like, what are you into now?

Starting point is 00:35:11 Yeah. So I saw somebody that was like, when I was there last time, there was somebody new to Berlin and they were like, um, well, I'm non-binary and all these like trans chicks like, um, you know, let's talk about that shit anymore. They were like, grow up. We're all so far past that. And then it was like, what are you into? What kind of music do you like? Yeah. Talk about that dumb shit anymore. It's like, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:35 It's like here in this country going, I'm gay. Like, who cares? Right. 1987. We can't talk about gay anymore. I'm like that. Yeah. Yeah. And the drugs are crazy. And you just, you're walking on the street and you hear like music and you're looking at like the side of a building and you're like, what? And you're like, oh, maybe that's a door.

Starting point is 00:35:51 And you kind of push it. And there's a guy there going, five euros. And you're like, okay. And they just go in there. And then there's like some like industrial warehouse. Yeah, I picture that. Oh, I loved it. Fun.

Starting point is 00:36:05 That's incredible. I like sometimes watching videos about the Berlin club scene because it's just wild. It's like literally an old steel factory, 15 football fields large, not a space in between the human beings. There's 10,000 people in there and they're all just fucked up and getting down.

Starting point is 00:36:23 And it feels, even when you're watching the videos, it feels liberating. You're like, oh wow. It's so cool. Dude, I've seen fat naked people with just shoes and socks and I'm like jumping up and down dancing. I was like self-conscious about dancing and then I'm like, oh, I'm fine.

Starting point is 00:36:37 I don't even care. Yeah, there's that, there's the supermodel over there. You're like, this is nutty. And then someone's getting their fucking dick sucked out of the body behind you. You're like, what? Oh, there's a big sex club scene. Yeah, there's a big sex club scene there too, huh?

Starting point is 00:36:52 Yeah, but even the non-sex clubs are like, wow, you can just fuck a little. Just do whatever. Just fuck a little? Yeah. I've had like two hours into this one, I just passed some lady just on her knees, just like going after this guy.

Starting point is 00:37:04 And I'm like, two hours into this person, I'm like two hours into this person like yeah whatever I would just be sensitized to it I've seen fans disappear but whoa yeah I've seen like wait where does that oh but like be cool be cooler act like you've been here before yeah I'm not cool like you've been here before. Yeah. It was so hard. I'm not cool. He's trying to look out of the side of your eyes.

Starting point is 00:37:29 Like, why don't I have sunglasses on? Yeah. I know better. We feel like that. Yes, always. I know. Yes. The first rule of nude beach, wear sunglasses.

Starting point is 00:37:38 Yeah. It's your friend. Hard, black, black, silver sunglasses. We go to, we visit Spain a lot. And you know, Spain is also another liberated country. French art, black, silver sunglasses. We visit Spain a lot. And you know, Spain is also another liberated country. You walk on any of the beaches there and you're like, you're certainly gonna see tits. If not the whole thing, and they don't care.

Starting point is 00:37:55 There's like literally children, right next to the nude women. It's just part of the culture. They don't give us, they're not hung up on the stuff we are. But I learned first where sunglasses sunglasses. Yeah. Don't scare anybody. My favorite thing about Spain is the racism only against gypsies.

Starting point is 00:38:14 Yeah. We're like gypsies, like don't say that word here. They're like raring on the surface about it. They're not trying to hide it. Like they fucking suck. No gypsies allowed signs. It's just like- I've heard that.

Starting point is 00:38:28 It is a little bit weird, but there, you know, there's like this separatist culture sometimes that goes on in Spain because there is a whole part, the Basque country in Spain that is a different universe. And they speak a different version of, you know, they, in some parts they speak a different language almost. I mean, it's a dialect, but it's almost a different version of, you know, they, they, they, in some parts they speak a different language almost. I mean, it's a dialect, but it's almost a different language, but there's a separatist, like Basque country is different than the rest of Spain and you

Starting point is 00:38:53 need to be mindful sometimes about what, you know, what you say and who you're with. Yeah, it was cool. Everywhere in Barcelona, you see those like Basque, um, flags up, like the separatist flags up and they're like, oh, they want out for sure. Oh, they definitely want out. Yeah. They're like a fairly minority.

Starting point is 00:39:09 I like in Texas, Texas to America is what Basque country is to Spain. Yeah, so they believe they're a different country. Everybody says they're a different country. They don't sometimes follow the same rules, but that's just, you know, there's just a long history in Spain of civil disobedience and unrest and stuff like that. The Spanish Civil War was not too long ago, actually.

Starting point is 00:39:33 Other people in Texas like, Texas is a republic, it's not a state. And we're like, fuck off. I know, fuck off. Yeah, you can call yourself whatever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Iranians a version, shut the fuck up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:44 My brother-in-law just moved there and he comes back and he's like, Texas is great. And I'm like, dude, first of all, you're Venezuelan. Second of all, you just came from Venezuela. Don't act like Texas is, don't act like you know, Texas is a different country. They have a Texas pride. I know, but he's got to, he's been there for two weeks and all of a sudden he's, you know, Texas needs to, you know, separate from the United. And I'm like, dude, come on, really?

Starting point is 00:40:08 Don't be like that. Don't be like that. Get in the country first and then go from there. Who's your favorite guest on UB Trippin and what was their, like, what's the favorite story you've heard on UB Trippin so far? Okay, we just had the Trippy Awards for the first year. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. The best guest, best trip is Harlan Williams. He took a back of a national geographic. He was throwing one out and he saw it and he saw a little sign says, would you like to go around the world for 30 grand? And it was 35 day around the world trip. No way. 35 grand, 30 grand. And it was, you started in Los Angeles, you go West and you go to the Galapagos, you go to Easter Island, you go to like Tibet, go to all these places. They take you on tours.

Starting point is 00:40:50 They take you on different things as you're there, the Taj Mahal. It was so nice. National Geographic has their own travel plans. It was so nice. It's private plane for 70 people. And on the plane rides, they'd have like experts that were in National Geographic talk to you

Starting point is 00:41:04 about like the new coming place. It was such a wild show and he's so funny with it. So it's like, yeah. Yeah. He showed me a picture of some guy at the Taj Mahal picking his nose so far up. It's like his body was gone. He goes, I've never stopped thinking about this guy for 30 years. Where'd his finger go?

Starting point is 00:41:22 I thought maybe he had no finger, but he pulled it out. He came out so far. And then, But we've had some great ones. Joe List had one where he was trying to get a girlfriend back on the hike to Machu Picchu. He's like, he's actually up there and he's like, do you want to go? And she goes, just as friends.

Starting point is 00:41:38 He goes, yeah, just as friends. And then he hangs up and goes, getting her back. Right. Yeah. And then she got like terrible diarrhea on the way. He's just trying to like, fuck her while she's just getting diarrhea in the naked jungle. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:50 Ah. Ah. Ah. That's been some good ones. That's a really good one. Yeah, you've had some interesting guests on the show. Harland Williams, by the way, has that Disney money. He's got that puppy dog pals cash.

Starting point is 00:42:03 That, you know. Puppy dog pals? What is that from? That's the name of the show? You wouldn't know this unless you had young kids. He's got that puppy dog pals cash. Puppy dog pals? What is that from? You wouldn't know this unless you had young kids. He has puppy dog pals. He created it and he does the voices or a few of the voices in this show called puppy dog pals, which took over the, like now it's Bluey. It's all about Bluey. But a cycle ago, it was all puppy Pals all the time. Oh, he was a billionaire then? Yeah, and it was created by Harland, and I think he wrote a lot of the stories. So, and you know, it was like, Harland Williams? You could hear the voice, you could, you recognized the voice instantaneously. The guy who drank piss and dumb and dumber.

Starting point is 00:42:37 The guy who drank ghee and dumb and dumber. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. I'd be so good at that. You had Tucker Carlson on, I didn't listen to the episode, but that was right. Yeah. It's so good at that. You had Tucker Carlson on. I didn't listen to the episode, but that was an interesting get. Yeah. What I'm trying to do is fight back against all this divisiveness by including everyone

Starting point is 00:42:54 and taking them away from the thing that's being divisive. And everyone, the response is a lot of like, how dare you? I'm done with you. And I'm like, I'm on your side. I'm making a guy who talks about something that makes you angry, not talk about that thing. Yeah. So all he did was we shared a love of travel.

Starting point is 00:43:12 So I'm like, come in. We're not going to talk about politics at all. We're just going to talk about some fun place. You've been, we shared, I met him once and I met him. He did some little mini documentary on, on standup comedy. And so we all did like remote interviews. My publicist was like, if you do this, we will never work with you again.

Starting point is 00:43:30 I'm like, that's nuts. I'm not getting into that game. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so it's just like what I had to say, where like standup, like there's this like theory that standup is hard now, and everyone's trying to come after us.

Starting point is 00:43:39 I'm like, that's a little of that, but it's a great time. Yeah, yeah. They forget, you know, with the Atlanta Hawks play, it's going great. It's everyone's doing fine. Yeah. Yeah. So we liked it.

Starting point is 00:43:50 And he's like, you know, I'd like to meet you. I'd like to use my pockets. And I went up to his, I was in Maine for a family truck and I was like, I'll come by. And, um, and he goes, well, it's the day after the debate, the Biden and Trump debate, so we have to talk about that. And I was like, brother, I don't care at all about politics. I understand that's your thing. If you talk about it, you'll be talking to a brick wall. I don't know anything about it. I don't care about it. It's boring to me. And he goes, okay, then I'll wait till the next episode. Don't worry about it. And we just talked

Starting point is 00:44:17 about other stuff. Talk about gospel music and all this, I don't know, the Talmud. He was reading the Talmud. It was like fun. And then anyone who was like, I hate this, like, well, watch it, it's pretty interesting. So on my podcast, he just talked about the UAE and the problems with it and the cool things you've seen there. I would fall victim to this if I'm being real honest,

Starting point is 00:44:40 if I'm being real self-reflective, I would fall victim to this because I see the word Tucker Carlson and I feel a certain type of way. And then I'm like, okay, not gonna listen to that. I'm not gonna let it get under my skin, right? It doesn't make me discount the conversation. It doesn't make me discount you.

Starting point is 00:44:55 It's just like, I just don't care for Tucker Carlson. But I do like what you're saying, which is- Yeah, he's a great traveler. You know who we had on? I don't know if you've ever seen the guy, a channel, Five News, Andrew Kat traveler. You know who we had on, I don't know if you've ever seen the guy, a channel five news, Andrew Cali- You don't watch political stuff, so,

Starting point is 00:45:09 but there's a guy on YouTube named Andrew Callahan and he made a documentary on HBO called This Place Rules. And then, so anyway, he's a kid, he's, and he's not a kid, he's in his twenties. And he's- He started out as a kid. Yeah, he's got millions of followers. Is that All Breaks, No Gas? All Gas, No Breaks. All Gats, No Breaks, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:23 Oh yeah, that guy rules. Yeah, so we had him on last week, right? Oh, cool. And this show is not political. We call it the commercial break, take a break from all the bullshit. And so we very rarely- Great, that's my whole special. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:34 There you go. That's my whole special's point. Great, I love it. And your special is great. And it does do that particular ethos a lot of justice. But we had him on, and one of the reasons why I had him on, even though we don't talk about politics, because Andrew is saying we have to get to the reasons

Starting point is 00:45:52 why people are so divisive and stop talking about and stop harping on the talking points that are making it so divisive. We're not getting anywhere with that. And so he put out a new documentary, does a really good job of kind of like, you know, uncovering why people are getting to this point and who they are as human beings,

Starting point is 00:46:07 because they're your neighbors, they're your friends. Everybody, you know, we can't go on forever just fucking at each other's throats. We have to, there has to be some conversation. You make an interesting point. Let's take them away from the thing that's making him divisive and just make him, there's humanity there.

Starting point is 00:46:20 Let's talk about it. We have some shared interests. So congratulations, I like that. Yeah, it's funny, week to week people go, I can't believe you're this left leaning, like hippie and now I can't believe this right leaning Nazi. It's like, I'm not doing anything.

Starting point is 00:46:34 I'm just trying to talk to fun people about cool places they've been. I'm trying to make the world better. And you guys are stuck in that thing. Yeah, I think we're all at that point now where it's like, okay, we've all accepted, we're all, we gotta now go, so now what? Right. Yeah okay, we've all accepted we're all, we got to now go. So now what?

Starting point is 00:46:46 Right. Yeah. We know they're spying on us for ads. We know they're doing all these things. So now what? Yeah. How do we move forward? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:53 And I try to think like, we've got to focus on something good in every situation. So like, Carlson's a good example. I get, when I went on his podcast, the comments were, uh, first, this guy's a heretic, he never read the New Testament, comments were first, this guy's a heretic. He never read the New Testament, only the old. It's a lot of like Christian. Cause we were talking about the Talmud. There was a lot of, I'm done with you now Ari. After this, there was a lot, I'm done with you now Tucker, after having this guy on, like we both got like thrown away by her audience. We're talking to each other. And it was like,

Starting point is 00:47:23 you guys are like wild. And then you get an occasional like really interesting stuff. Never seen the side of either of you. Yeah. Well, we didn't talk about politics for four, five years almost. Then we said the word and then the election came. And we felt that it was just like too big of a story to ignore. We had to say something, but we didn't bash anybody.

Starting point is 00:47:42 We just said, Trump's president. And even though he wasn't our choice, wish we hope that everything goes well and you would not believe that within a heartbeat we had reviews of people we're not i'm never listening to you again you bash Trump and it's like i didn't bash Trump that's not what i did i just said that he wasn't my choice but yeah so everyone's this riled up like it's it's crazy i don't think you can change it you want to change it you can't change i think you just kind of Focus on yourself and just be like, you know the starfish thing No, what's that? There's two guys walking on the beach and um, let's make it a guy and a girl so we can be inclusive today There's a guy and a girl walking on the beach and uh,

Starting point is 00:48:19 And there's like a thousand starfish washed up. I'm from the high tide I'm like, oh my god,'re all going to die, you know, because they're not in the water. Yeah. And it was like, this is weird. And so then one guy picks up the one of the starfish and he like throws it back in the water. And then they kind of walk inside and the girl's like, what's that going to do? That's not going to.

Starting point is 00:48:39 It's not going to make a dent in all these starfish. Yeah. Dying. And he goes, what's going to matter for that one starfish? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, so it's like, you just gotta focus on yourself when everyone's doing that, just go, okay, how can I reach across an aisle?

Starting point is 00:48:53 How can I just focus on something positive? I mean, it's like, it's kind of easy. It's a five days of vacation, one day rained. Yeah. All right, I learned a new card game when we're stuck inside, that's fun. This is all of Modest Mass were stuck inside. That's fun. This all of Modest Mouse music is this.

Starting point is 00:49:07 It's just like focusing on the positive part. And then your mental state is like pretty nice. Yeah. There's this guy instead of going, look at that Trump flag on that house go, wow, look at that deck they built on that house. Yeah. That's cool.

Starting point is 00:49:18 Focus on something different. Uh-oh, Ari's getting to me. I know. Yeah. Ari's getting to me. And then you start to like, your mental state goes higher and better. You're just like, you're in a good mood.

Starting point is 00:49:27 You know those people who are like, one's always happy, one's always upset. There's one cooler to be around. Exactly. You're right. Yeah. You know the guy, Dr. Wayne Dyer passed away a couple of years ago.

Starting point is 00:49:38 You see Wayne on PBS all the time, bald guy. He's, you know, anyway, he's- He calls himself Dyer that he does. Yeah, he did. He had this saying, it said, when you change the way you know, anyway, he's. He calls himself a liar that he does. Yeah, he did. He had this saying, it said when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change. Right. And, um, I think that's what you're saying essentially and focus on the things that

Starting point is 00:49:54 are, that are good instead of the things that divide us. You're getting him. I had a friend who did this. It takes just as much energy. I didn't expect to feel this way about this interview. I'm not having feelings. I had this friend who moved to Los Angeles and he goes, he goes, he hated it. And he said, uh, everybody's like, how do you like it?

Starting point is 00:50:11 Like he was there for a running job because I hate it. I'm like, what do you hate about it? There's just no change of weather. It's like burritos only everywhere. It's fucking the people are annoying. And then every party people ask him, how do you like LA? He gets sick of saying the same reasons. So he goes, it's just a dumb conversation.

Starting point is 00:50:25 I hate LA, but I want to stay this every single party event. So he started saying, like, I like it. To have people just like enough and we'll talk about it. And they go, what do you like about it? He goes, I don't know, there's no weather changes, so it's good weather, good burritos. And then like, after he started saying it, he said for like a couple of months,

Starting point is 00:50:41 he started like liking LA. Yeah. Yeah. It is true. It happens. Because there is, you know, I don't want to get like too woo-woo here on this particular podcast,

Starting point is 00:50:53 I'll do that in my own personal life. But at the end of the day, the metaphysical becomes the physical. It does, yeah. So if you are wishing the negative, if you are talking about it constantly, you're going to manifest and focus on those things. It's not to say that you can just think yourself

Starting point is 00:51:07 into being a millionaire, I don't believe that. But if you can't also, you can certainly think yourself out of being a millionaire. Do you know what I'm saying? You can certainly focus on the negative and stay depressed and lazy and unmotivated. Yeah, sometimes a negative helps you, but it's like, look, I'm barely getting by,

Starting point is 00:51:22 but I'm doing better than some third world countries. You focus on that, and then you're like, Oh, all right. Yeah. Pretty good. I'm living in America. We have a lot of rights here. That's pretty cool. Well, let me ask you this Ari, because this is term limits.

Starting point is 00:51:34 You don't like a president. We live in a country where there's term limits. Well, we hope so. Like, I was hooking up with this cop, this chicken college a long time ago, when Trump won the first time. So it was eight years ago. Yeah. Well, we got a a long time ago with Trump. When the first time it was eight years ago. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:50 Well, we had a little fling in a festival and then, uh, so I asked her, um, she was in school in Florida and I was like, how, what's like, what are college kids saying about, about Trump? Like, are you guys like real pissed? Cause that's like the bastion of like new liberals, liberals. Yeah. And she goes, you know, it's whatever. I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, he's got to be the president for the next four and eight years, but then he'll be gone.

Starting point is 00:52:09 We also voted on legal weed and that got passed. And so that's here forever. So we're all pretty happy. Fair enough. Yeah. We got a guy who's in and out and legal weed for the rest of our lives. So it was like, she was like, A1. And I take this stance that, you know, in this country at least, we have the freedom to vote for who we want to. And no matter who is in office, and you're right, the pendulum swings one way or the other.

Starting point is 00:52:34 You can make fun of them and you can wish them well. You can not like the things that they do, but you can also agree that when they do things that are good for you or that you agree with, you should applaud those efforts because that is the way that the country works. Actually rooting for someone to fail is rooting for negativity in general. Yeah, like let's say, I don't follow either side. I just, I gave up on it so long ago. I was like, Darryl, aren't they all just crooks? Didn't we all agree? God forbid,

Starting point is 00:53:01 it's crooks. And then people are like, yeah, but they're the worst ones. And I'm like, guys, don't talk to them. Don't talk to it. You're like, this guy murdered seven people. This guy only murdered two. So I just go away from all of them. It's like, yeah, but, but it's like, uh, it's a lot of these people, like they hate Trump and they hate you by like, if he came into the room and they'd like, I'm leaving, like you wouldn't talk to them and say like, Hey, Indian parking on

Starting point is 00:53:24 Cuba, you wouldn't try to like have some influence. he'd be like, I'm leaving, like you wouldn't talk to him and say like, hey, Indian partner on Cuba. You wouldn't try to like have some influence? Sure. I would, I would. If Trump came in the room today, I would not leave. If Trump- You'd have to say hi, be pleasant and not like, fuck you bitch.

Starting point is 00:53:37 It's like, great. You said your thing, you've got no change in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you. Just don't follow it. I agree with you a hundred percent. We said this during the campaign, and while this was not the platform for it,

Starting point is 00:53:49 but if either of those candidates had said, hey, I'll have a conversation with you, how could you at least not have that conversation? How could you at least not wanna talk to them and try and get inside of their heads or have a conversation that might be meaningful or maybe lead to some change? If you could get Biden and Trump, not then Kamala and then Trump. I forgot Biden pulled out. But

Starting point is 00:54:10 those are the last two presidents. So Biden and Trump in a room and you're like guys let's talk and then you could bring them both drinks you know like let's sit down sprite sprite and then 30 minutes in go okay guys I have put Molly in both of your drinks. So should be hitting right about now. Too late. You're not going anywhere. Um, so we're going to start liking each other. Yeah. Settle in.

Starting point is 00:54:32 I'm going to put some music on it. If you feel like dancing, you can dance. Yeah. Biden, we got a walker for you. You're not going to fall. Guys. It's going to be great. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:41 Let me introduce you to Big Freedia and, uh, and we will, and we will get up and we will go. We'll take them to a German sex club and we'll have them both hands naked with socks on. If it's me, I'm bringing them ayahuasca. If it's me, I'm bringing them ayahuasca. I saw the most interesting reel one time. This guy had made an AI. He had said, what if Trump did ayahuasca? He made an AI reel about the evolution of what if Trump did Ayahuasca? He made an AI reel about the evolution

Starting point is 00:55:06 of Trump if Trump did Ayahuasca. And it turned him into, it went through all these pictures and photographs as he went from like this stern, grumpy, you know, kind of vengeful guy into this loving, caring hippie where his hair grew out and he was shirtless in the jungle and people and he was sitting there like this, going like this. And I thought to myself, it could fucking happen. It could fucking happen. If Guy wants to do ayahuasca, Trump, if you wanna do ayahuasca, I know a guy who knows a guy.

Starting point is 00:55:35 I'm just saying, we can do it together. You know a shaman, you know a shaman. Yeah, shaman, I know a shaman. We can get the entire government out there to do ayahuasca. Yes. Right. Yes.

Starting point is 00:55:44 Uh, if we had the, if every, I mean listen, You get the entire government out there to do ayahuasca. Yes. Right. Yes. Uh. Ha ha ha ha ha. If we had the, if every, I mean listen, ayahuasca is not to be toyed with. She is a fickle bitch, right? But if those who are ready would do it, I think that we probably have a little bit. We could start with Molly.

Starting point is 00:55:57 We could start with Molly. Yeah. I like started with Molly. Yeah, I went on the Daily Wire yesterday, or two days ago. Yeah, and they on the daily wire yesterday. Yeah, it is ago. Yeah. And, and they're, they're just as nuts as the as the left wing as the super hard where they're just like, they have these talking points. They haven't really thought them out. They just have these talking points. It's cool

Starting point is 00:56:14 to see because I live in a liberal kind of bubble. So I mostly only see the left wing ones, but it's funny to see the right ones. But but one of the questions they had this stupid game show like would the world be better if every single person had to do have one psychedelic trip? And I was like, yes. And he was like, no. I'm like, are you nuts? I'm like, do you believe in God?

Starting point is 00:56:34 And he goes, yeah. I'm like, who made mushrooms? Who made mushrooms? I'd get it on acid. Who made mushrooms then? Yeah. That's crazy. I thought that so hard.

Starting point is 00:56:42 I mean, you don't think it'd be better If everyone just one time removed themselves from their ego, just one time. Totally. 1000%. If everyone saw how the ego is driving us all fucking up a wall, then we would, I think most of us would agree. And then we're all connected. And then we're all connected.

Starting point is 00:56:59 Oh yeah, you feel like the tendrils of humanity all in the soil connected. Yeah, and then he goes, I don't want to get addicted. I'm like, you're a dork. Nobody gets addicted. Okay, this isn't a 50s loser. We have more research now. You're not going to do them again for a year. Shut up. Addicted to mushrooms. Get out of town. Oh my God. What a silly thing to do. Do some of this, you'll understand. You're not doing that every Tuesday night, right? Hey, Ari, I wanted to ask you something. Are you taking a break? Yeah, I'm going to go travel for a while.

Starting point is 00:57:35 Oh, are you? Good for you. Yeah, I'm going to put, I'm going to sell all my stuff and go down to one backpack. And, um, put a little bit of stuff in storage, get out of my apartment and just go travel South America. No shit. Southeast Asia. Do you live in Nashville or where do you live? No, I'm just here for the weekend for shows.

Starting point is 00:57:52 I live in New York City. In New York. Yeah, so I just want to take a fallow year. What prompted this? You're good. Like there are no health issues. You're good. This is just I just want to take a break.

Starting point is 00:58:03 Yeah. I finished a special. I did my job. Then I did a little tour. I'm in the middle of a little tour. Tickets at Archivier outcome will be in Atlanta. Oh, you're coming to Atlanta. We've got to go. Yeah, in March.

Starting point is 00:58:14 We've got to go. All right, we will be. Let me know, I'll give you nice tickets if you want. Okay. Yes, I'll text you. I'll text you. You're texting my wife, so I'll text you back. I'm keeping it close.

Starting point is 00:58:23 Oh, no disrespect. I was just trying to rearrange the, hey, I just want to rearrange the meeting. I just want to go have a lunch. I just want to go have a busy lunch. We've been married so long, I don't care. Whatever. But yeah, then I took care of work

Starting point is 00:58:40 and I just want to see the world. Nice, and you can still walk and you have your health and that's important to be able to try and do that. Oh yeah,. Nice, and you can still walk and you have your health and that's important to be able to try to do that. Oh yeah, you see these people. Anchor walk, you see all these old people with canes and it's nice they're still doing it, but like, you can come this at 35.

Starting point is 00:58:54 Yes. Yeah, definitely. I agree with you. And I think that you doing that indicates you have some level of mental health because so many people, including myself, will just work yourself into a frenzy and just keep on going and just keep on going. I'll put it off, I'll do it next year, blah, blah, blah.

Starting point is 00:59:12 And even though I do do a lot of traveling, I can understand that it must be really difficult to take a pause and say, I'm actually gonna take this year off and I'm just gonna take care of myself. I'm gonna do some traveling. I'm gonna go and do what I wanna do. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Starting point is 00:59:27 Once you get over like two or three weeks gone and you go to a second country, that's your anchors not even from your old country, anchors in like, I don't have an anchor anymore. Go from Myanmar to like Thailand. I'm not coming from America anymore, I'm coming from Myanmar. Oh, I'm just floating.

Starting point is 00:59:44 I had a friend who just did that. She just got back from doing three years. Wow. I mean, she was able to work while she was, you know, but she just went for three years, traveled the whole world. She was always different. And I mean, just the best experience. She's in New York.

Starting point is 01:00:00 She actually just moved back to New York. So I mean, does anyone look at that lady's trip and go, land? No. No. Not a single person. She's on a blast. And you know what?

Starting point is 01:00:11 You're going to come back and probably create the best special that you've created, because you're going to have perspective to work on it, cut your teeth, converse experiences, meeting people. And you're going to dry the market. You're going to dry the RE market out. There's going to be no supply. You'll build up demand Think about it that way Ari I

Starting point is 01:00:36 This is a conversation I didn't expect actually and I'm Yeah, I play a heel on mine, so if you talk to me, it's like, oh. Well, actually, I never thought ill of you. I just was, you know, I was curious about some things like, oh, I wonder why Tucker Carlson. Yeah, Tucker Carlson seems like an interesting choice. But you watch your special and it's clear that you're on the team of common sense, humanity and being pragmatic about the way that you look at the world. And I can appreciate you said, Hey, listen, I don't watch the fucking news. Haven't in years.

Starting point is 01:01:13 Um, that's something I wish I could do. Uh, but I really appreciate your perspective and I've enjoyed this conversation. Yeah, that's good. We're going to see you in March. Sweetheart. Yeah, I will text you. We will be there for sure. We're gonna see you in March. America's sweetheart is- Okay. Yeah. I will text you, we will be there for sure.

Starting point is 01:01:28 Thank you very much for the offer. We'll take you up on it. I wanna come see- Okay, if I can find some Molly for you, I will, but I'm just coming into town, so I don't know if we'll be- Well, listen, you're coming into town, so we'll take care of it. We'll take care of you, okay?

Starting point is 01:01:37 Yeah. This is our turn. Yeah, we'll take care of you. Let us treat you. And when you wake up the next morning, we'll take you for some fantastic breakfast at Burger's. Yes. If you can see straight.

Starting point is 01:01:50 Listen, we just went to Bill Murray last night, Chrissy and I did, and we're lucky Chrissy showed up today. That's all I gotta say. Oh really? Tied it on. I was just. Yeah, why not? Uh.

Starting point is 01:02:01 Ari's brand new special, America's Sweetheart, is now streaming on the mega comedy platform, the Netflix. And he's also got his podcast, You Be Trippin', available on Apple Podcasts wherever you find your, wherever you're listening to this podcast, you can check out his. It is a fascinating podcast. I've listened to a couple of episodes. I will now go listen to the Tucker episode. Permission granted, Tucker Carlson. You granted yourself permission. I will hide to a couple of episodes. I will now go listen to the Tucker episode. Permission granted, Tucker Carlson.

Starting point is 01:02:26 You granted yourself permission. I will hide in the corner and listen. I'm granting myself permission. Go to the Harland one, too. That's the one I'm actually interested in listening to is the Harland one. Ari, we'll see you in a couple of weeks. You are welcome back anytime, my friend. Thank you so much and enjoy Nashville. Enjoy Nashville. Bye.

Starting point is 01:02:41 Thanks for your perspective. Appreciate it. Thank you. Bye. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Starting point is 01:03:00 Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcBpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCBpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

Starting point is 01:03:24 Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors.

Starting point is 01:03:39 And then we'll return to this episode of The Commercial Break. Wow. we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Wow. Did not expect that conversation from Ari and I'm sure I'm glad that we had him on because I have a new level of fandom for Mr. Ari and I can't wait to see him. I hope that we get to go to the show here in Atlanta. I'm going to have Astrid text him, so don't get too excited. If he gives us tickets, we're gonna go. Maybe even if he doesn't give us tickets, then we'll go regardless. We're going no matter what. I've got it on the calendar. I don't think I've ever seen comedy at the Tabernacle.

Starting point is 01:04:12 Oh, you haven't. I have. No, I've never seen comedy at the Tabernacle. I actually saw Joe Rogan there. You saw Joe Rogan at the Tabernacle? Rachel and I, yeah. Really? How long ago? Years ago. Really?

Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah. And what did you think? It was funny. It was? All right, there you go. Look at that. Chrissy's at the tabernacle. That's my part of town, you know. That is. It was my part of town for a long time too, but then you get kids and you go north. That's what happens. Everybody goes north when they have kids. For understandable reasons. There's more land. You got, you know, whatever. Anyway, I don't want to get into all the local politics here, but Ari was, I thought a very fascinating character. Me too.

Starting point is 01:04:45 Really funny. I'm talking to him. And I'm so glad that we had a chance to have him on. And I hope he does come back. That could have been a conversation that went on for two hours, if I'm being honest. But we don't get that much time with guests. We're no Joe Rogan.

Starting point is 01:04:55 Ari will spend four hours with Joe, but he won't spend one hour with us. Thanks, Ari. Appreciate it. I'm kidding, of course. All right, so all of Ari's information is going to be down in the show notes. I would certainly appreciate it if you go check out his new special, and I know he would too, America's Sweetheart, his tickets to his farewell tour.

Starting point is 01:05:14 Yeah, farewell tour. Did you know his farewell, it's called his farewell tour? I did. I just looked it up after respecting him. I thought that was interesting that we just did a farewell episode a couple days ago, and now look at that. Ari's here doing his farewell tour. Like if he's going on a big travel expedition. I wish him- Good for him. It sounds fun. When I saw that he was taking a break, when I listened to his podcast and then I kind

Starting point is 01:05:34 of put two and two together- Which is called, you be trippin'. You be trippin', yeah. When I saw that he was taking a break, the first thing that I thought was, oh, I hope there's no like health issues or anything like that. Hope he's not taking off because there's something that he needs to go do health-wise. But by all indications, he's just going to soak it all up, enjoy life. And he's right. He's right about this. You should do that before you get to the villages, not after you get to the villages. Because there are so many times that I'm traveling

Starting point is 01:06:02 and with older people or I see older people and they're not having the time of it that they could have had had they done this 30 years earlier. That's not no knock on them. It's just like, he's right. I don't want to be that person. I would rather do it now, have the memories and then do what I can when I get older than wish that I had done all of that and trying to do it as I get older. Ari Shafer, very funny. All the information in the show notes as it always is. Thank you very much for coming in, Ari. We certainly do appreciate it. AriShafer.com, America's sweetheart. Tickets on sale now and you be trippin all of that shit go check it out

Starting point is 01:06:47 Also tune in this week as Chrissy and I delve more into our experience with Bill Murray and the blood brothers and what an experience It was average age in the crowd at least we were standing 62 62 I always in the bathroom with the moment was talking about our cataracts. Yeah Yeah, usually at most concerts you go into the bathroom and you see people exchanging blow. Right? Yeah. You got a doobie. Can I hit that? I got these shrooms. You know, this, these people were talking about their cataracts or doing the Trump dance. Yeah. Well, I mean, Bill himself is 74 years old. He's no spring chicken, but he looked good out there. I do have to give it to him. He looked good out there. He went the whole, you know, he went full board the whole time. More cowbell pink pink pink pink

Starting point is 01:07:39 pink pink. Well, you know, I don't want to down on, on bill because I know he's doing his thing, but it's clear that what bill did is he found a band that he really, really likes. And he said, I want to help you guys out a little bit. Let's go on tour. I'll sell the tickets. You guys take the cash. I'll be at the Ritz. You'll be at the red roof.

Starting point is 01:08:03 I'll take the private plane. You take the tour bus rented at U-Haul. You guys do the load-in load-out. I'll be there 15 minutes before the show starts and But you know hey listen. I'm sure if I'm in the Blood Brothers. I'm not complaining one bit I've been doing this all my life at like shitty little dive bars and finally I'm selling out bigger venues in one bit. I've been doing this all my life. I like shitty little dive bars. And finally, I'm selling out bigger venues and it doesn't matter because now I get to hang out with

Starting point is 01:08:28 Bill Murray and I'm sure there are some stories to tell. Oh, to be backstage to build Murray's show. All right. Two, one, two, four, three, three, three TCB two, one, two, four, three, three, 38 22 Texas questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, or leave us a voicemail and you can be on the next episode of the commercial break. Make it short, make it brief. Don't to right there on the YouTube channel. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say,

Starting point is 01:09:10 Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye.

Starting point is 01:09:17 Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye.

Starting point is 01:09:24 Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be a star you

The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Ari Shaffir

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