The Commercial Break - TCB The Lost Tapes - Arm's Length Away

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

Bryan and Krissy discuss commercial theme songs, cutting off a limb and what they would do for a million dollars on this un-aired episode of The Commercial Break. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A no-bive to WSHI to use hour of power each day afternoon, Jonathan Cracklick presents a powerful and guided presentation on science. Let's go live into the classroom now where brother Jonathan is already in session. You have to actually defy science. Oh, it's scientific. Well, what about this? I never thought of that. I've never really even crossed my mind because we live in a school where it's just. Well, what about this? Oh, I never thought of that. Oh, I've never really even crossed my mind

because we live in a school where it's just fill in the blank. Fill in the blank, go in the blank. They're not taught to logic. They're not taught to reason. I thank God I was in a home where I at least got taught how to logic, you know? You know what all these atheists have in common?

Video games. They all play video games. And Harry Potter, you get on their channel, they're in fantasy land. That's all they ever do. They can't think for themselves. They sit back and they drink Coke all day and sit behind a video game system

and then wonder why, oh, you're insane. No, you're crazy. And you need to get out the video game system and somebody needs to preach to them a gospel of Jesus Christ and so that it can be saved. That's what we need. And I am sick and tired of these stinking video games.

Messin' with people. Well, I agree. We should be teaching our children to logic. Without knowing how to logic, how in the world is anything going to be logical? We'll be back after this. Commercial break. F***! We'll be back after this commercial break. There's a bunch of logic for ya.

Cheating those kids out of logic is very logical. Stick that in your logic and... Logic will if logic do... Don't be logic dazicle. How does one logic? This is so stupid. Oh, too logic. Okay, all right, start it up.

I agree. We should teach our children how to logic. They don't end up with logical thoughts. Oh, I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna go do some logic-ing. We'll be back after this. Logical break. They'll be back after this. L-logical break. They're not taught to logic.

On this episode of the commercial break. March 2020. Right at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic and smack dab in the middle of an election year, Chrissy and I decided to start this podcast. We made a conscious effort from day number one, not to get too involved in the political discussions. Everybody was already talking about it everywhere you turned. What could we possibly add to the discussion that wasn't going to lend to the noise? And besides, or our perspectives fresh, did we have anything new to add to the conversation that you already weren't hearing on your new station of choice? Probably not.

So very rarely on this show have you heard Chrissy and I get into heavy-handed political discussions. Now that doesn't mean that they haven't happened with the microphone on, they have. They just ended up in the can because we stuck to our mantra, give everybody a break from the politics and the vaccines and blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm sure you can figure out which way we lean if you listen long enough,

but very rarely have you ever heard us get heavy-handed or serious about politics. This is the episode where I cut up the segments around the heavy handed political discussions we put in the can, and I let you listen to the parts that aren't so heavy. Enjoy this, the next episode of TC commercial break starts now. Oh, yes! The commercial break! Yes! It's another episode!

So exciting! Do you hear what the commercial break is for getting up? It's this one. Rice and bean! Break out the Schlitz and break out the best! The break out the best! The break out the best! The break out the best! The break out the best! The break out the best! The break out the bestons are breakers? But get it now. It's this one.

Rice and bean. Break out the Schlitz and break out the best. Break out the Schlitz. What is it? I can't remember. Is it break out the bush or is it broke? Break out the bowl maybe. Break out the bowl?

No. Break out the bowl. Did the bowl come crashing through the wall? Like the cool aid guy? Oh yeah, maybe. But I mean, what was the bowl? Who was in the bulls? I can't remember was Bush break up. Oh, you know what it was? No, it's not. You know what I'm thinking? Hold on, it just came to me.

It's break out the Helmines and break out the best. Oh, I'm not fucking mayonnaise. I thought it was beer. Break out the Helmines and break out the best. I do love Helmines. Triple by best surgery is right around the corner. Helmings, Helmings mayonnaise. Old Helmings. Good old Helmings. We shouldn't do that where we have like old commercials.

His name is a commercial break. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe I'm tied together. For an hour I thought that was a fucking beer commercial. And I just put it all together. As soon as we got on air, I was like, break out that helmet. Break out the beer and the helmet.

And the helmets. I was talking with Astrid and I had an interesting conversation last night as I was preparing for the show. I had a really good topic that I thought we could talk about. And Astrid convinced me not to talk about it. So we'll talk about it. Yeah. Just to tell you what I'm not talking. Okay.

Yeah. Have you ever heard of bitty bidei? I have not. Okay. Bidei is the following. It's called the body. Body image dysmorphia, something or other, right? Something. I don't know. Okay. Old, get old. It's called a something. Now, it's not what you think it is. What it sounds like is someone who has anorexia nervosa or bulimia.

Yes, they don't like where their body looks. They don't like the way their body looks. They look in the mirror, they see a fat person when clearly they could eat a cheeseburger, right? Now, this is a real problem that a lot of people suffer from even people who don't take it to the extreme of anorexia nervosa or bulimia have some form of body dysmorphia, right? And I mean, I mean, who knows?

Maybe I suffered from it at some point. You look in the mirror, you think you look fat, oh my god, I'm huge, you bubble, and the truth is you're really not that, whatever. Anyway, that's not this. Okay, that's not this. I was gonna go into a whole thing, but why? What if I can carry this?

What if I can carry this? What if I can carry this? What Brian has to say? Google it, it's like LaPedia. We could beat it, whatever it is. I'm in a mood. Be careful. So what it is, is it's people who are obsessed with cutting off their own limbs.

No, no. Yes, cutting off their own appendages. They don't like the way that looks. They don't think it should be there. Oh. They don't like the way it looks. They look in the mirror. They say I should have a fake hand, not a real hand.

Really? Yes, or? They make a fake hand then that goes on with the duty. Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So I watched a documentary, which ended, there's nothing funny up. I mean, listen, I think it's funny like, not, like, ha, ha, my brother had this. I wouldn't think it was funny. like not like, ha ha, my brother had this,

I wouldn't think it was funny, right? That he wanted to, he was so serious about cutting off his arm, he was injecting like, you know, industrial strength liquid cleaner into his muscles, right? That would not, I would not think it's funny. But from just like a purely almost cartoonish standpoint of someone who wants to cut off their own, like I got cut off my own arm, you know?

They do it themselves or. Some people have, cut off their own, like I got my own arm, you know? Do they do it themselves? Or do people have? Cut off their own appendages on their own. This is how strongly the compulsion is to take this body part off. But a lot of people will play makeup, dress up, right? So what they'll do is they will tie their leg behind their, behind their butt, and they'll put a pair of jeans on,

holding their leg in place like that for hours at a time. They'll walk down the street like that. Imagine, like, I can't sleep with my hand like this because I get all of a sudden I get sore. I'm like, yeah. And I think that's just because I'm old and weak. I think that's because I have no muscles. And so they walk around like this,

and they all bent up for hours at a time. Wow. And so they walk around like this, they all bent up for hours at a time. Wow. On the stilts and everything. You know, they're walking with this whole thing. Can you believe this? No, that is really sad. A compulsion to cut your own appendage off.

That is really sad. So what happens now is because there are, you know, we found out in the last 20 years that doctors are just like everybody else that they'll do anything for money, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, they'll give you a pain killers, you know, if five hundred and sixty eight thousand, vikin' in for a week's supply, right?

If you just pay them enough money, and they will cut off your appendage, and they will do that for a fee. It's called a black market surgeon, and I guess this is like, you know, going down to Mexico and you lose a liver or something like that, and they wake up without a liver. But there are gatekeepers.

Like, I was, this whole thing about this documentary was just crazy. Wait, channel was this on YouTube. Okay. Forchan. Facebook group. Yeah, Reddit. Reddit.

Yeah, Reddit. I've read it, not darknet. I was thinking I haven't seen this on HBS. No, you're not gonna find this on Turner Broadcasting Television, or even TLC, even though they're close to running. Although I could imagine this being a TLC. Yeah, I can imagine them running something like this. So what I was watching is that there are gatekeepers

because the surgeons are so afraid of losing their license and getting caught and having some kind of liability. Of course, you're coming off. Yeah, you're cutting off some of the appendage without any goddamn good reason. Yeah. It's fucked up. Yeah.

You send them to a psychiatrist. Don't cut off their leg. But in their opinion, it's just like a man or a boy who wakes up in a boy's body, but he feels like clearly like a woman. Okay. Right? Like they were not meant to be like this.

Something is so disturbingly wrong with having a leg that they need to release the leg. Wow. Can you release the leg? Release the leg. Oh my God. Ah! He didn't so much.

I can't even imagine waking up in the morning. I hate you so much. Look at you working so well. And you were saying they're, not like this, you were, look at you working so well. And you were saying they're not like as you were. Look at you working so well. And I can do a 30 minute mile.

Why you? Why, let's make why? Why be so pretty and perfect? Oh my God, some people inject stuff too. They inject industrial alcohol, medical grade alcohol, into their muscle because it kills the muscle tissue. Oh my God, some people inject stuff too. They inject industrial alcohol, medical grade alcohol into their muscle because it kills the muscle tissue. Oh my God. And once the muscle tissue is dead, it's dead.

And then the doctors have a reason to cut off your shit. So in other words, you're like, provoking, you know, you're forcing the hand of the surgeon. Some fucked up shit, hold me. I mean, it's some fucked up shit to wanna cut off your own leg But now there have been people who have done that you got a limp dick over there, don't you? Hold on let me press mute. I'm gonna put holding on mute as she should be

Because all these got a microphone. It just keeps falling down Here at the DCB stew Break out the, break out the Brian, break out the best. Do you need a podcast studio that doesn't work? Call 470-5848-449 and ask for Brian Green. He has over 12 seconds of experience. He has over 12 minutes of experience and he too can help you connect a microphone that will never work. Do you have carpet? Brian will plug everything into the carpet. No, just plug it into the carpets, sir. It's working entirely too well. If you, if you,

if you have an obsession with your microphone working too well, let me know because I'm the one of those black market guys are coming on. shit just unplug it it feels so good it feels so good to do a two-hour show that you can be working yeah yeah what do you mean you working fine broken you record your episodes it's insane why would you want to record them Oh hey, how the heck are you? It's Brian Green, co-host of The Commercial Break. I just came on quickly to let you know that due to the current coronavirus surge and it affecting some of our family members, Chrissy and I are going to start season number 3, one week later than anticipated on January 18th. That's a Tuesday mark calendar kids.

But until then, I will continue to bring you fresh content by cutting up canned episodes and sending them on your way. Go to TCBpodcast.com if you want to watch any of the videos or listen to any of the audio. Right there from our website TCBpodcast.com. Please do send along a text message or a voicemail with all your well wishes. 2.661 Best the number 2. Yo, that's 661-237-8296. Make sure to follow us on Instagram, at the Commercial Break, and for content you will not get on the audio version.

Go to youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Subscribe and like any of the videos that you like. That's the way it works. Until next time we talk, please listen to our sponsors and use their specialized URLs and codes if you're so inclined and we will talk to you freshly in just a couple of weeks.

Let me ask you a question, going back to this. Okay. Would you cut off in a appendage? No. For any reason? No. Any amount of money? No. 10,000. Okay. Would you cut off in a appendage? No. For any reason? No. Any amount of money? No. 10,000. No. 100,000. One million. One hundred million dollars. Would you have your arm cut off? No. No. Not for a hundred million dollars. So no. No. I mean, it's tempting, but I don't think so. Let's play a little game. 10,000. Let's play again. 10,000, 100,000, 10 million, 100 million.

Okay. One billion. Let's go there, right? Okay. What, do I get to pick? Like, could I just pick my pinky finger? No, you have to pick up no, an appendage, something like an actual, like an arm and a leg.

Or penis in my case. Or, or Ah, what good is it doing me anyway? No, I just don't think I could. I don't think I could do it. Could you? For $100 million? For $100 million, I think I would cut off an appendage. Really? Like yourself.

You would have to do it yourself. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Mark on your license arm leg Blood donor. Yes I don't hate my penis is that possible It's not in great shape It's used they've like a car facts report on that Do you have a dick facts on that? What if you needed a penis transplant? The doctor was like, wait, I heard the thing. What did they've done there? Yeah, penis transplant.

Yes, yes. They don't penis transplant. Yes. Oh my God. Really? Yeah. So some guy just loses his life on a car accident. They rush him right in, cut off his car.

Yeah, it's not a widespread thing. I would think not. Because you know how there are people who get like new hearts. Yeah. And then they're like, I feel a little weird. You know, like I think some of the personality of that person might have come with a heart. Imagine if you... I can't help it, it's my other person.

Imagine if you were a gay man, and you had, and like you needed a penis transplant, and they rushed in and they bring in a penis transplant, but that guy was attracted to only women. And now, every time you see a woman, you get in the boner and you're like, what? That's not how I use the role.

You're not in the agreement. They are two separate brains. Okay. So, in our moral leg, you wouldn't cut off for $100 million. $100 million. I'm not gonna do it. I'm thinking of my children.

So maybe that's why I might go, I'm gonna call off the arm and it's gonna be high, high likelihood that this is gonna be problematic for the rest of my life. But I'm also never gonna want for anything either with my children or probably my grandchildren. So I'd be doing it for them. I think you would come to regret it.

You know that old saying money doesn't buy happiness. Would you have the money does not buy happiness? I'm not saying he's going to make me happy. I'm just saying I wanted to worry about where I'm paying the mortgage. I don't have to worry about doing 17 episodes of this to make $12. So let me ask you a question. Would you have sex with a complete stranger For $10,000 like a stranger like someone you don't know no idea who they are

100,000 I'm not I'm telling it's okay. Imagine you're not married to Jeff Let's take Jeff out of the equation because I understand you're gonna be loyal to Jeff to a fault Yes, let's say back in your single days $10,000 complete stranger no hundred thousand maybe I think I think that's reasonable $10,000 complete stranger. No. 100,000. Maybe. Okay. Okay. I think I think that's reasonable. I think at some point in my life, if someone said, Right.

You're gonna have to fuck whatever walks through this door for $100,000. For $100,000. I'd be like, Well, take one for the team. Exactly. Where's the condo? Yeah, well, I'm three months late on rent.

So I'm living under this porch right now. I'm going to pay the motel six by 3 p.m. or I'm going to get the room back. So bring that guy in. Yeah, I mean, I think $1,000. Okay, all right. Would you push somebody into traffic? Oh, my god.

Right. Are these on the show notes? No, no, no, no. I didn't make it a summer. So go, would you shove someone? Would you shove someone's, it's $10,000? No. Oh, $100,000.

Oh, I know you're going to. One million. Possibly kill another 100 million dollars. 100 million dollars. One billion dollars. Okay, they're not going to die I think I can, one million. Possibly kill another one. 100 million dollars. One billion dollars. Okay, they're not gonna die, but I can't guarantee what else happens to them. Could they be an arm donor? Thanks, good.

Yeah. Would you cut off somebody else's arm for a 100 million dollars? Well, yes. That's right. Would you, would you, hang out in a room full of dead bodies? Oh my God.

For $10,000. For a night, you have to sleep in there with them. What? Oh my God. Sleep in a room full of dead bodies. Tell me. Fresh dead bodies. I don't know, what does it matter?

After three years of that. Full of dead bodies. How many? Fresh dead bodies. I don't know, 10. What does it matter? After three years of that. What's their pile on top, like if there's like two? No, what if it's like, okay, you walk into Brian's house when they're right, and there are undetermined amount of dead bodies in different places in the house. Brian's lost it. Finally lost.

Okay, $10,000. I'm here for the podcast, Brian. I'm here for the podcast. Everyone's dead. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. I'm big during the- Make sure you give up my arm. Give up my arm. Ah. I'm big during the camera on the corner with a craze. Ah. Ah. Like a knife and blood in my hand. You've got a microphone. I'm a big dream come around the corner with a craze. But like a knife and bud in my hand.

You said you were doing for other times. I'm so sorry. I thought it was a good bit for my kids. I was just getting material. Our sponsors are gonna love this one. YouTube live. sponsors, we're gonna love this one. You two buy it. Oh my God. Oh, a rim full of dead bodies. That's a 10,000 to low.

Yeah, a hundred thousand. Maybe. One million. Well, if I'm gonna maybe do it a hundred. Well, I'm just wondering, okay. I'm wondering if this is like a maybe all the way or if it's like. I'm okay, so you're looking for that. Yes.

I'm gonna put a firm yes, a million dollars. You have to spend the night in a room full of dead bodies in various states of death. I mean, that's not a various state of death. In various states of... Decomposition. Not decomposition, but one die guy died from a heart attack, the other one from a car accident and a shotgun.

I mean, for a million dollars. Serial killer. Yeah, for a million dollars, I'm thinking I'm just going to be really scared for one long night. Hey, listen, I've not slept for a lot less money. I've been in a room full of cold bodies for a lot less money. Just shared that with you. for a lot less money. Just share that with you. Um, for, would you spend the entire day at Piedmont Park,

it's like the central park here. Oh yeah, I love that park. At Piedmont Park. Yes I would. So, weirdly naked. The entire day, walking around, hanging out. I think I would be arrested. Well, I'm assuming we're assuming in a world where no arrests or problems are going to happen

because of the consequences of these actions. Some rich guy just comes up to you and he says, I paid off all the police. Don't worry about it. I want you to spend the afternoon naked and peed my part five hours for $10,000. For $10,000, huh? It's tempting, huh? It could be. For $100,000. Look at That's tempting, huh? It could be. For $100,000.

Look at my body! Look at my body! Yes. Yes, for $100,000. I'll give you a minute, ma'am. Definitely wearing clothes all afternoon. I don't know if you had noticed the crowd around you. Yes, I would.

$100,000 Chrissy would do it. Uh-huh. Make the check payable to the commercial break. Oh, I'll see. Care. For $10,000. for $10,000. For $10,000. Would you call your father and tell him that you just murdered somebody? For $10,000. It's a joke, but you got to keep it going for like three hours. Oh, yeah. I've done this joke before. You've done this joke before. Not that specific one.

Not that I murdered someone, but I used to be big and today, April, full-stay jokes. So like one time, I was at my parent's house and I, the next morning, I came out into the kitchen and my dad was there and I was like, oh, God, dad. I was like, last night I fell down, drink too much wine, fell down, my tooth is loose. And he goes, what? And I was like pulling on my front tooth. He goes, what? Oh my God, I got it.

I feel like it could just come out and he goes, don't pull it, don't pull it. I'm like, ah! He freaked out a little bit. What if your dad was... What if you called your dad and you were like for $10,000? And you called your dad. See, this is where things kind of get straight.

What if you called your dad and you're like, I just murdered somebody. What? I just murdered him. I just couldn't stand him. With my neighbor, she was fucking... It's driving me crazy. It was just me who was too loud.

I snapped and I stabbed her 36 times in the face. And he's like, don't worry. I'll be right over to help you clean up. And I had the body. I know. Your dad was like, okay, don't touch anything. Get a bunch of bleached cleaner. And some hydrochloric acid, put her in the bathtub.

I'll be right over. Yeah, you can find out. That's right. Who would do that? I'm buying you a ticket to Mexico. Don't tell anybody You'll be fine. You're living in Guatemala for the next 50 years I mean, would you would not for $10,000 call my dad and tell him that I murdered somebody and let it drag on for three hours

My dad would be like you did I'm surprised it took that long Well, I guess I won the bet. The family betting pool goes to me. What if my dad said that? I bet right. I'm surprised it took this long. Yeah. I thought you already did that. That's an amp. Wasn't it that one time you were living under the porch killing people that's what I thought Ten thousand dollars would you carry somebody else's child? Somebody you did not like? Oh, you mean pregnant. Pregnant. I thought you meant to just pick up. I was like, I'm gonna pick up all the time. No, you pick up me all the time. I'm paying you anything for that. That's why we like having you over.

It's part time babysitter. You did tell me to dance with Matthias when you were a child. I know, I was like, I'm gonna dance with Matthias, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go work. Those buddies. $10,000 would you carry somebody else's baby? Somebody you did not like.

Somebody did not like? Somebody you did not like? You're throwing that into the man. Yes. Think of your worst enemy, the person you paid the most. No, you wouldn't for $100,000. You're a kid. Up to fear.

It doesn't work, does it, right? For $100,000, somebody didn't like and I would carry their child, God, I don't know. That's still dicey, you're carrying in a child and your body's gonna change. Oh, I do it in a heartbeat. What about, what about, I got to do it in a heartbeat. I do it for 10,000 probably.

Well, then you have to give the child back. Of course you have to give the child back. I'm not just asking you to borrow for a minute. Would you get triple D implants? On top of your already, the boobs you have, would you get triple D implants for a year? You'd have to walk around with those things for $10,000. I don't think so for 10. 100.

You would do it for 100. Yes. Because it's like, I want a boob job. I'll take that. I get a free boob 10. 100. Yes. You would do it for 100. Yes. Because it's like, I want to boom down, but I'll take that. I get a free, boom job. That sounds great. Would you make out with your cousin for $10,000?

No. For $100,000. That's not right. No. For a million. No. For a million dollars, you wouldn't make out with a cousin. No.

Oh, I do that in the start. I got some hot cousins. I probably do it for free. I probably do it for six back of white law. And some aspartave. They were burying their cousins in the royal tea. They're different. They're royalty. They got all the money that, you know, when you have that much money and you're insulated

like that, you're going to start fucking cousins because you're too scared about, yes, you're too paranoid about everyone else. Yes, commoners, platoes. Would you drive your car into a wall at 30 miles per hour, knowing all the safety features of the car, but still not knowing what's going to happen. You won't die. I promise you that. I can promise you you won't die. But I don't know what happens. You're going 30 miles per hour for 10,000. 30 is pretty fast. That is pretty fast. I mean, you're going at a good clip. It's not, it's not, you know, they usually,

they do the crash test dummies at like 65. So, you know, yeah, no, I don't think for 10. 100? Maybe. Yeah. Wow, it would't think for 10. 100? I, maybe. Yeah. Wow, it would be really hard to take not to press on the gas, huh? And that's why I would say that if I did this, so I gave you this $100,000, I would probably put you in one of those test cars

with all the safety features. Okay, good. But where like you had no control over the brake or the steering wheel, you just had to go. Oh wow, just, yeah. Like a ride, like go. Ah.

It was a self-driving car. Yeah. Mal functioned. You had to add to it. Would you agree to be high on Iawaska for a 24 hour period for $10,000? Iawaska is one of the most hallucinous, it carries DMT out in the wild setting. When I was talking about synthetic, we're talking about a natural plant that grows with a whole shit ton of DMT when cooked in the proper way.

And it's known as one of the more hallucinogenic drugs you can get into far more intense than LSD or mushrooms or whatever, just so you know. Would you do that for $10,000, $24,000 straight? Like would you just have to keep taking it? No, you're just like 24 hours. I assume that the shaman is just like mainlining some you know, ayahuasca tea right into your vein. Okay. Yeah, I'm trying it for 24 hours.

Oh, shit, I would not. I would tell you that right now. Okay, I was looking in words. For 24, you look inward for 15 minutes on ayahuasca and you're well into a year of I would die I would it die right you wouldn't die I can guarantee you wouldn't die but it's possible that you come back a completely different human being that's true because 24 hours on ayahuasca it's like dog ears and that might be like 70 years and dog in in ayahuasca I'm pretty adventurous yeah I don't know I don't know if you want to be stuck in that universe for 24 hours, I'm just saying out loud.

You wouldn't, so you're saying you would not. I think a million dollars would be the number. I think I would do it for a million dollars. Yeah, because I don't think I could guarantee my sanity when I came out. And certainly not for the next couple of months, I think you'd be fucked. I think you'd just be walking around like

everything would be buzzing and on fire. You wouldn't be able to talk to people in a normal way. We know some people like this. We know some people We never took ayahuasca for 24 hours Took some kind of equivalent of ayahuasca for 24 hours For many many years in a row There's one guy that we have in our friend group that I swear on all it's holy man Yeah, I don't I don't know that I've ever seen this guy not tripping on something. Oh, yeah Yeah, but he can't communicate with the real world. He's like You're like, hey man, what's up?

He's got like jet gray head. It's like he's 70s 23 years old He's got like jet gray hair. He's like he's 70s 23 years old He smells like the underside of cow scrotum He's always got a shirt undone Nipple hair flying in the way He seems happy though. He's very content with his life But if you forget you don't never want to mirror a guitar or a stage, that's then the whole night's fun. You're like, oh God. That's on guitar for the next 12 hours.

I write a song about archipelagos. I could boogie man. I could pelagoo. I could pelagoo. Archipelago. The jam band that made this song about 24 hours long song about archipelago. Do you think you'll play archipelago? I don't know, man! It's only hope! Let's get a main line of Iawasca right in here for 24 hours, because if it comes, it's going on for our... Yes! Yeah, you know all the hippies they do in the woods woods because I used to be one of them right and one of them

But I just don't I children now I'm gonna protect them all like I am from math and is going for our archipelago You want kitchen duty one time I had a crowd People thought I was like a god or something I was bartending I think people thought I was like, God, or something. I was bartending. I was bartending three nights in a row. It's a party in the woods. The party with the party we do not speak about.

Yes, it's a sweet party. Three nights, I was bartending in a kiln with no underwear, just to let you know. And I, my drink got spiked two of the three nights. Either it got spiked or I could possibly take it. And now I think back on it. And I think the girl who was very adorable, actually, a very attractive woman,

who gave me the drink both nights. She had a thing of clear liquid that was like swinging around her chest, right? Right in between her almost naked breasts, right? And she was like this. And I thought it was like a magic glass bottle full of purified water. Bubbles. And she's like bubbles. And she's like, you and I thought it was like a magic glass bottle full of purified water.

And she's like bubbles, and she's like, you know, here you go. And I was like, oh, thanks. It is hot out here. Meanwhile, I am 27 to 30 butt lights in. And I'm slinging drinks and people are like, and mats at the end of the bar. Look at Pelligoo. Look at Pelican. Look at Pelican. Look at Pelican, you brother.

I've been in for 21. A buddhaid, we only have sweet water for 20. And it's warm. So I was bartending. I am in the girl. This very attractive violin player comes up. And she's got the glass bottle full of water and swinging around her tits.

And I'm the violin player. And she's like, the fiddle player. And she's like, here, and I take a drink both nights. And both nights, I ended up carousing the woods. This 300 acre farm with tens of thousands of people, a thousand of people on it. And I was just making friends everywhere. I was stopping by tents and hanging out.

I was in the corner at the party. I was doing everything. I was in the corner at the party. You know, people had, you know, they were connecting big tarps from one RV to the other and having these parties. And I was there. I was in it I was having fun people love there. Hey man, and I'm like a man

It's a bartender. It's a bartender man. He's cool. Man. He gave me a beer for 20 Hey look is the bartender I'm picturing I'm a Pelago it's like an island, but it's not. That one side. It's like us, we're all connected, but then we have independent sides.

We're like an island except connected in the middle. And then we're sure that's what an archipelago is. A lot of fun. A lot of, yes, I did bartender to 24 hours straight one time at the party in the woods. The party that we sell not speak about. And then they charge $150 and everybody can get in. I don't know. I'm not going to I'm not going to just smear the party in the woods, but it's like anything. It's just like archipelago. It is.

It all comes back to the sun. It all comes back to the pelago. The pelago and the pelago. The pelago and the pelago. Hey, man, I got a straight beauty. Can I use a credit card to get in? Sure, man, no problem. Back when I went, the beer was free.

Now, I think you got to pay for it Wow, we covered a lot of ground we did from magnetic vaccines To cutting off your own arm. Are we going for cutting off your own arm to magnetic vaccines back to cutting off your own arm to Brian Grilling me about what I would do for money. Well, I thought it was a good game we could play. And it turned out to be really interesting. Which he shoved someone into traffic. She won't shove someone into traffic. No. But she'll have triple e-booms.

She wants shove someone into traffic for a billion dollars. But triple e-booms give her ten bucks and free surgery and she's on her way. Now I've said a hundred. Give me the tits. Would you get them? Oh yeah. You would get $100,000. Yeah, no problem.

I'd wear boobs. Yeah, I've been touching my feminine side. You should get the party in the woods. I actually had a party in the woods. It's with Alarm. If I was to do a kill shirt, a beard, no shirt just tits flying everywhere in the wind with a kill tongue with my scrunderfoot

By the way, I must have smelled like a heart Where in that kilt would know pants for three days When you start to smell yourself yeah, everyone did an Unbelievably, I mean whatever anyway Unbelievably people were still hooking up and having fun. Yeah, yeah, I guess at some level of stink, it's just all this doesn't matter. Yeah. You smell like balls. So do you.

What's it got? You want me to rub some on you? Because it's better than what you smell like. You smell like balls. Hey, you're undercarriage ain't smell so great either. I'll tell you what, let's keep it waist up and let's go for it. Oh man, listening back to these episodes, it reassures me that I made the right decision

not running them in the first place. What were we thinking? See, we can have fun without politics, don't you think? I think so. Anyway, January 18th is the date when Season number 3 will be here. Brand new studio, content, guests, and games, all kind of great absurdities lined up for you. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Until then, you'll continue to get TCB The Lost Episodes. Apologies in advance!

TCBpodcast.com is where you go. You can watch all the audio, listen to all the video, or you can do it the other way around and listen to all the video, whatever, you know the drill. All right, at the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break, until next time, we always say and we must say, we love you, best of you out there in the podcast universe. Happy New Year, and bye!

The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Hodley, with I'm going to do it. you