The Commercial Break - TCB The Lost Tapes Part 1

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

Bryan and Krissy release some of the lost episodes of TCB. Enjoy clips from episodes that never aired! A final Season 2 gift to you...  LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's 24 hour marathon of our favorite Christmas songs. Now, as a yearly tradition, Jonathan Apple Dick, our very own crab apple resident, sings kids this one's sharp it turned on the water works. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mali, i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i I am alive, all day, with grace was born, all day, deep, I am alive, all day. I felt that last note right in my gizzard. Oh Jonathan, it says if you touched the heavens directly. We'll be back to our 24-hour Christmas music marathon after this. Well guys, it was bound to happen after two years of recording in a pandemic, the coronavirus has finally hit close to the TCB family. And for this reason, Chrissy and I have decided not to get together in the same room and record the last episode of season number two.

Now Chrissy and I are not sick to be clear, but we're trying to protect those who have weakened immune systems or cannot yet get the vaccine. So what does this mean? Well you're not going to get any more Frankie B episodes this year. That's unfortunate for some of you and I'm sure most of you are going to be applauding that decision. However, we are going to run an extra episode of TCB The Lost Tapes. Like I mentioned, for two years, Chrissy and I have been recording 6-9 hours of content

every week. Most of it made it out onto the RSS feed, but some of it went straight into the can. It was either uninteresting, unfunny, or it was just straight out offensive, so I decided not to run it. But there are good parts of those episodes, and no one else has heard this content before. So these to you are brand new episodes and I'm taking clips from that 50 hours of content that's never run and I'm putting it together as a brand new episode. Now season number three starts at the beginning of January

with a brand new studio, brand new content, ideas, games, guests, and more absurdities to chew on. But until then, I'm giving you 5 episodes of TCB The Lost Tapes. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, all that other good stuff. I hope you get to take a few days off like we are. And until the 2nd week in January, enjoy these brand new, never-before-heard episodes of TCB The Lost Tapes. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh! Is that a dolphin? I thought you were scratching on the turn. Oh, you thought I was doing a wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki w you ever had. Oh Lord, how you like too short? Too short. What is iced tea? Cop killer. Remember that one? That was a great one salt and pepper. My parents in one foul swoop bought me Beastie Boys license to ill and run DMC. Nice. Their breakout album. Both of which were I think were some of the first albums to have the parental advisory stuck to them, if you remember correctly. And I just remember even thinking at a young tender 11 years old, the fuck are my parents

thinking? Yeah. They were very liberal parents. Yeah. And I just remember thinking the Beastie boys were the coolest fucking thing I've run DMC with their kicks and their slick suits. They still are. Yeah.

What in the nostalgic time and music? Yeah. All the parental advisories. QE Lewis in the news. Wasn't that because Tipper Gore? Tipper fucking Gore. I think it was her problem. She was the one who did the...

I don't even think they had children. They didn't have children? I don't know. I think so. That's a good question for the audience. Did Al Gore and Tipper Gore have children? Or was Tipper Gore just being a fucking sour pus for no reason? I mean, not like, here's the thing, Tipper,

the only thing that you accomplished was making it more attractive for me to buy an album with a parental advisory on it, by the way. Never stopped anybody to record songs, selling me a record. Yeah, made it more enticing. More enticing, telling you what. What are these things that we have to be a warning. That's right

Welcome I'm Brian greenie Have you seen any Stanley two cheese Stanley two Oh, he like they like to be new what you're gonna be born in Yeah, he's a little bit new, uh, what's your anti-bordane? Yes. Yeah, it's only, uh, not like ordinary bodaine. No. Everybody, you know, he's got hootspots. Yeah.

He's got a big gauze, yes. He's got a guy here, he looks like a librarian. Smart penis, if you know what I mean. Stanley Tucci, Smoochie Pucci. Stanley Tucci, Hochie Pucci. That's what we call him back at the play, yeah. I go to school to Stanley Tucci. I was a whole family to Tucci Hucci's. It's a whole three of them.

And so we play on the playground, and then one time I looked at Tucci's pensies, come off and I say, oh, smutsci pocci, Stanley Tucci. Now, you have a TV big star. Look at me, I'm on podcast. Ha, ha, ha. I make it, you know, the podcast is a little bit very popular. Mm-hmm.

Yes. It's all, yeah. Playing every pizza, you know, across the country. That's the most shabby. You're piping me in. You're piping me in. You're saying, what are you doing? Ha, ha, ha, ha.

What's your brony? Your brony, your brony, your brony, pizza, your brony. Fet for only. Okay, all right. You know, pizza. Pizza. What is your brownie? You're your brownie, your brownie pizza, don't you? Favve for only, okay, alright. Pizza, pizza. Well, pizza, this is not Italian, this is American. Mmm. Tee.

Ay, the bambinos. They cut it in triangles and they put a little sausage penis on it. It's a little pig penis is all over the pizza. What's going on? You put some fresh fruit in fresh fruit and go to milk. That's the way you do it in the old style. Yeah, now Stanley Tucci running around the world,

trying to think he's a Tani Bourdain. Bourdain know how to do heroin. This Tucci, I don't know. He doesn't look like a heroin guy to me. No, he looks more like a wine spritzer. Hey, you know, my last name is Green, so I feel like I'm Irish. And so my family tells me so.

But I don't know that that's true, or that's not true. I could be anything. I don't know. My dad tells me. I'm at some place I am, right? And so my dad tells me that at some point, sometime people got off the boat

and they came here to wherever and then they moved to Chicago and they were part of the green clay. But there are so many greens out there. How many hoodies are out there? There are some. Really? Have you ever found any of them?

No, I haven't connected with them. Don't you think you should connect with them? When that be the first place you should go is like connect with other hoodies because I feel like it's a name that's a little bit unusual. If you connect with a hoody,, there's gotta be a connection somewhere back in the tree. Exactly. I just need to spend the time to do it.

If you try and hunt down a green, it's like pondin' out of Smith, findin' a bird. I mean, it's like, find a blade of grass. I once married a whammerana. Do you know what a whammerana is? Isn't it dog? Small, shet and pony, that's right. Shut up.

I married one. It was an arranged marriage. It was. It was an arranged marriage. It was just one, it was a tough time back in 12 BC. And my parents couldn't get enough chillings together to have fish and loaves. So they said to the neighbor, fish and loaves, because that's what we ate. Fish and loaves, and because with fire it was difficult, sometimes they just ate the fish on a loaf. It's called a fish

loaf. It was delicious. Unless you got an eyeball, then, oh, yeah, then you were cursed for a million years. Usually burned at the stake or thrown down a whale. Oh, he got the eyeball. Oh, it's... Throw him down the whale. That's the way it worked back then. You didn't have science. Wasn't like it is today.

And so my parents said to the neighbor, if we can borrow a fish and a loaf, a fish and a... Then we'll give our son to your whinerana who was in heat at the time. He was in heat and so it was an uncomfortable marriage from the beginning. However, it did last for 32 years. Wow. We did not have any children.

I was barren. Yeah, the main accessory would pull that pony up. This is the type of thing I'm looking to get into. If you don't mind, I was there when the wheel was created also. Mm-hmm. You're pumping oil. That's right. Well back in Back in the times of the druids, we used to throw rocks down at the women at the bottom of the hill Because we thought that they were the devil when they were on the fire cycle. So we take large stones and roll them down the hill. And you know, the stones weren't very smooth. They'd bounce all over. Sometimes they'd hit someone in the head and that head would come right off. It was not great. So eventually the women decided that they had enough of us to own rocks

with them and they ran right up that hill. Well, wouldn't you know one of those rocks hit one of those women's square and the chest and she just wrapped up around that rock and rolled on down smooth as ice. And so we said the house there you go. Wee! That's what Jim said. Jim, Jim was next to me, he said wee! Because he got killed by the women coming up the hill. I Was married to a whammy Rhonda so the women do on anything to have to do with me. Yeah, that's right Rock and roll whoo I was there when fire was invented Well Bob always takes credit for it, but I clearly was he's always trying to take credit for your Inventions, that's right. Here's how you want to hear the store. Well, it was a bright sunny

afternoon in the desert of the Mojave. And we didn't have, you know, there wasn't much shade around. And so we had put sticks and stuff on our heads. And around, I don't round out, dinner, tell you, yeah, to cover up and make sure that we didn't get sunburned on our pink tatanjos, which is what it was called back then, a pinker tangential. Didn't look like it does now. It's just a little weird thing. But anyway, so they are all woman, woolly mammoth. Well, you don't see woolly mammoths too much times and you know that that could be dinner for many, many of us for many years. So I went running after it, get, wee, woolly, woolly, woolly. And as I was wondering across the desert, my testicles were scraping across the ground. It was different spark.

That was different time I guess. It just sparked up and set that brush on fire that I had protected my wood potential. And all of a sudden, fire. And so I came back and I, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and Bob took a stick and he put it on my particular potential. And then he said, and then he went and he

He's all the sudden the caves lit up and that's how it went Bob just kept that fire going for many years And so for many years that is exactly how we would start a fire Wow, we would just smack some young man on the bed He'd run around with his testicles dragging on the ground and set a fire for us Wow, isn't that amazing? It's truly amazing. Bob always takes credit, but clearly I was the one who invented the fire. Clearly. It was my balls. I got the third degree. Mar or not. Yes. Bob, he's not a worth of semi-move. Of course, he died in the great war of 1712 BC.

Oh. That was right. Do you know about that? It was a really bad war. Actually, it was less of a war and more of a flood. But we didn't want to be embarrassed by the story. So what we said was we just didn't, it was a wall. It wasn't that we could forget to get out of the way of the water. We just, it was a wall. Of course, I was in a wall, World War One. I actually, Doug Shex,

dintly shot Franz Ferdinand. I thought it was that band playing of Noxus Music on the radio. Turns out it was not. It was the King of Prussia. El Adios, eh? Hello. This is me. The Philippe Vendvaldod. Leap.

I am an art expert. Perfect. What's what you like to know about? Yeah, that's what we, I'd like you to examine this, this, uh, meant poster, this pearl chair. This pearl chair, mean posters worth two dog shits. No one cares. Who cares about Eddie Vedon?

In some sort, cause this is known as the worst investment in pearl industry. But I just got it shit. Now get me an Eddie Ved and NFT, then we are talking in business. That's kind of the advice that we need as to where should we be put in our money, Felipe? Well, if you ask me, a Frenchman, what I would say to you is put your money in the bank What I would say to you is put your money in the bank account because all the who cares about these painted penises, it's not important. Buy some French fries. They have more value than Brian's Dictaticy collection. You're just not good at it Brian.

Now, I have been involved in many art transactions throughout my entire life. Nice. And let me tell you the most valuable one ever. I bought a DICK TRACICARD. What kind of fucking idiot device is DICK TRACICARD? This is stupid. And Pearl Jam Postes. I mean, I like Pearl Jam as much as the next shmuck, but this is not going to make you money, right?

No way. No way. It was like putting mayonnaise on an apple. Who wants it? No one. No one makes your piece smell funny. Okay, ask me a question about that. Okay, so what, you know, is it, do you like more modern art or, you know, art from the Renaissance period?

I tend to like art from any period where it makes me more neat. But if you ask me, I like the modern art. I like, you know, these modern art show pieces, showcases. People come in, they throw poop against the wall and they say this. This is art. This is the master. And then some more on buysises for $250,000. It's amazing.

It's amazing what passes for art these days. But now if you do a little bit older, you have to have a more refined taste. You have to have an angel with some teats out or a penis or something like that. You can't just sell a piece of art without a penis in it. I always say, bet on the penises. Bet on the penises. If there's a penis in the artwork, always say bet on the penises. Bet on the penises. If there's a penis in the artwork, it's likely to be valuable.

Anything else. Well, so Brian and I are thinking of starting our own trading card. Oh, Brian is good at investment. It's usually Steve. Follow him right down the bankruptcy line at home. Trading cards. What is this nonsense?

Trading cards. Vogueyman, please. trading cards what is this nonsense trading card buggy man please real odd dealers know that the money is in scamming people with other art not with new shit the young kids are too smart however some rich grandma in New York City she pays a lot of money for what she does not know yes please van Gogh never painted the thing. It was his brother. We all know this Jason Van Gogh. Pablo Picasso, his mother, Margaret Picasso.

They were the artists then. And now we just, how do you know painting is real? This is what I'm asking everybody all the time. When I go in and they ask, they say, Jean Van Vandenberg, it plays this for me. And I say, I think the value is how much you willing to pay. How do you, what do you want me to do? I mean, sniff it, it smells old to me. Look, it's great, but it on your old fantastic, wonderful.

It's such a stupid thing. I don't even know I got involved in first place, maybe because my dad, artist, famous artist. Was he the one who was actually doing all the art appreciation? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you're called a busier. He got very mad at things and it's through the painting out the window. But he was an artist and a madman and I'm telling you what. And now, so I know a little bit about that. So someone says, listen, you should probably appraise these paintings for people before they go into pseudobies and get their million dollars.

And I said, hey, listen, you know, I'm good. It's the next guy. This is basically how the art world works. No one's fucking knows how much it costs. What are you kidding me? This is so stupid. Why do people go? Oh the experts are your experts, please I'm drunk I'm drunk. I just had the three-way with a German man in some order and Chelsea. I don't know what you're talking about Yes, it's a word of two million dollars. Oh I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't the I this is the thing I think about art that we miss all understanding is in the eye of the holder all right If someone feels like it's worth money. It's worth money There is another idiot born every morning

The art world will continue to experience the ups and the downs. Now people are buying the Pokemon cards. Please Pokemon go Pokemon stop fucking around. Please stop wasting your money. Who how much can this go up? What someone's going to pay $2 million for a Pokemon go card? That's not art, you can't hang it in your wall. You can't masturbate to it. I mean, I always say the more you can master bait to a painting, the more

valuable it should be. That makes sense. This is not a, this is not a philosophy that is held by many people in the art world, but I am the, I am, of course, the artist expert. Yes. You are. What kind of, you coming on today? Yeah, of course. Now, if you know that Brian's mother got a what is it called a maple Thorpe or what what is this? Robert Mabel Thorpe. Yeah, no, this thing that's standing right there. Remember Brian's mother, someone gave her a what's that guy? The famous famous artist. Oh gosh, we went to the house. We don't even know his name. This is what I'm telling you. I can't even remember the artist name. I'm making a Robert Mabel. Robert Mabeldorf is the guy who did masturbate for art.

Robert Mabeldorf is very controversial. But this guy, he just wrote, he literally wrote letters on top of wood carvings. And now people go crazy over his shit. And I don't understand. One minute he's selling 25 fints. That's understand. One minute he's selling 25 fints. That's right. One minute he's selling 25 cents or pieces of wood. And the next minute people are paying $10,000 for the same piece of wood. What did he do?

He died. He wrote scripture on it. It was already written somewhere. I can doodle for $4,000. This is crazy. But it's the business that I'm in. And I don't know what else to tell you. You're a very beautiful woman.

You just sit down one day and let me paint you. OK. I'll do that. Like I said, if there's not a penis in it, it's probably not worth anything. OK, why? Until next time, you need me for outdoor guy. I think I'll buy.

Goodbye. Ciao, ciao. Ciao. We're a guy who can go by. Good bye. Good bye. Ciao, ciao. Ciao. Hey, TCB family, as we approach the end of 2021, Chrissy and I want to say thank you to

you, the listener, for making this year a wild success for the commercial break. Without you, we would be nothing and we are sincerely grateful. You can visit www.tcbpodcast.com if you want to learn more about Kristiana read any of the show notes or get any of our sponsors URLs or specialized codes for discounts and free shit please leave us a message at 661 Best To You that's 661-237-8296

visit youtube.com slash the commercial break. If you'd like to subscribe to our YouTube channel, you can also catch our brand new series in the studio, available only on YouTube. At the commercial break on Instagram, is where you can keep up with us on social media, and please take the time to visit our sponsors if and when you are in the market for their products

or services. It gives Christian I the ability to continue to do the show free and frequently to you. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, Festivus and all the rest of it. Have a wonderful vacation and a happy new year. We'll see you for season 3 in early January. Hey guys and gals wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by our friends at Coinbase. This Christmas, do yourself a favor and give yourself the gift of cryptocurrency.

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That's coinbase.com slash commercial break. The future is now and don't ask me askcoinbase.com slash the commercial break and get $10 in free Bitcoin while you're at it. Thanks Coinbase. Look at my body. Thank you. Thank you. Good content and then minus. Yeah, think of good content and then what uh-oh. We'll be right back.

I'm calling for nation-wide debt collectors association. Okay, so we stop the show. I guess you're wondering. We stop the show because I'm waiting. That's perfect content. I know, great. We're going to keep that. We stop the show in case you're wondering

because I'm not going to give away any of our any of the secrets. But I'm waiting for someone to call me. This person has to be very famous, very famous, very famous person. Now, this person is not coming on the commercial break. They are a part of a clubhouse activity that I'm doing, but they're very famous and they're looking for my help specifically. They need my help doing something. And I find and Chris Yudair just blown away because in between recordings, we found out that he had left me a voicemail.

I turned my phone off. He had left me a voice message and we just couldn't believe it. We were like, did that person just leave me a fucking voicemail? So now of course I gotta and try and the voicemail forever and ever. But anyway, so we're waiting for this person to call,

but they're calling from an unknown number because they don't obviously, they don't wanna give away their phone number. So we just saw, so I'm leaving my phone here so that I can see and I'll stop the show if this person calls. Well, in unknown name, just call. And I picked it up and it goes,

hey, this is my information wide insurance. I don't even have a nationwide insurance. Why are you calling me? You're ruining my show. That was weird. We were all like on the edge. We were all like, oh, that's him. That's him.

That's him. That's him. And it was like, oh, this is better for nation-led sheds. Unless it was this famous guy just playing a really funny joke on me. I just hung up on one of the most famous human beings on earth. The weird ways our life has taken turns since we started this podcast. Let's get back to it. DD LG. Daddy Dom, little girl.

Like any ordinary married couple on a hot and sticky summer's day, they keep themselves busy with the daily grind. They keep themselves busy putting on diapers and cleaning up Pippu. Right now I'm just like a subcontractor, just a professional handyman. But on our free. Sounds legit. Yeah. At the time, we'll play board games, listen to Disney music. Arts and crafts, coloring.

I'm a full-time baby girl. Stop me, Mr. Blum! You can't be quite as dumb as a baby! Yep, Michelle prefers to spend her day dressing and acting as a toddler, living a fetish more commonly known as DDLG, which is all about Kinky Age Play. Kinky Age Play.

Kinky Age. I want to say I'm almost illegal for a Gage Play. I mean, I know it's not illegal for someone to roleplay something, but doesn't this seem weird? Yes. And some in a ways that feels a little bit uncomfortable. Yes. Yes.

Like, okay, too consenting. I mean, I guess it's better than actually hurting a child, right? I mean, I thought it's worlds better than actually hurting a child. However, there's gotta be something deep-seated. You're gonna be a fucking loony too, do you do this? Yeah, I mean, I certainly do not want Jeff to run around acting as a toddler. No, I can see Jeff. Gaga, do do. Gaga, do do.

You got any chocolate mushrooms? Gaga, do do. Gaga, do do. I'm gonna book Pearl Jam for $4 million. I'm gonna execute that wire transfer over to Sound Garden. Gaga, do do. Yeah. I'm gonna execute that wire transfer over to SoundGarden. G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G out here. I would have point something out. I don't care what your personal preferences are sexually. I really don't. I don't. It doesn't make me like you or dislike you. I just find this to be a little too close. If it is a little too close to home for me. Well, and I always thought I was very non-judgmental about things.

Until Brian started playing plays. It's not what I didn't know about it. I was nonjudgmental about it. But once I started to learn about it, I don't do it. I wait, you're doing that. Oh, wait, hold on, that's something you do. You're into that. Wow, and that's not illegal. What state is that?

What state do you live in? What's your home ad you have? I imagine myself as very open-minded. No. I'm not a touch mental, but now. I love about this one. No, actually, I don't, whatever. I mean, I just, at least you're not hurting children. Then don't hurt children.

That, I mean, listen, this guy, these two have been around the block. You can tell. These are not, these are not, how do I say this? These are people who have been to the school of hard knocks. You can tell. not, these are not, how do I say this? These are people who have been to the School of Hard Knocks, you can tell. So obviously there is some trauma on both sides that have caused them to be interested in this kind of fetish. Usually fetishes do, not trauma, but fetishes do have some underlying cause or meaning.

You know, you connected with something, you know, sticking a toothbrush up your butt, and now you like fingers up your butt, or whatever, right? Something, there's some kind of connection there. I don't know how I can start being Freud, but this just feels dangerous to me. It feels like you're living on the edge. It does, it feels on the edge. Feels like your hand is an inch above the third rail, right?

And, you know, as long as I guess you don't touch it, whatever. What DDLG stands for is daddy-dome little girl You say that with such a like you not even caring. I had a sandwich for lunch today. I like little girl I've got six adult women dressed up as children in my locked in my basement I call it the crib they call it the dungeon. You know I had a sandwich for lunch today my girlfriend she had a baba. I made her a baba and she went TT and tutu.

T-T-Do-Do! My dad used to call it p-ing and pooing. He used to call it tinkle and stinky. Okay, those are too solid for tinkle and stinky. Tinkles and stinky. Yeah, my dad still doesn't this day. Did you just go stinky? Did you just go stinky? No, dad, I'm 44, I'll go stinkies. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna be like, my dad, my tinkle hurts. I got a stiff tinkle, dad. Now, I brought this into adult life, and I'm like, who wants a stiff tinkle? Put a finger in my stinkies. Take that stiff tinkle. Who wants my towering tinkle?

Can you stick a finger in my tinkle? Okay, here we go. I'm ready to go for that. I'm ready to go for it. Just like my tickle. Eddie, and she's my little girl, and I take care of her 24-7, just like you would a child.

By the way, Jeff here is a handyman, and I don't see him getting away from that job. Anytime soon. No. He's my daddy and my protector, and I need him. Oh. Hey, wait, you two. These consenting adults engage in non-stop age play.

This is something to be taken very seriously. This isn't a game. What? This is something to be taken very seriously. Literally life and death. You know how they're fighting in Israel and hummus? It's just like that. It's a war.

It's a war. Between the daddy-doms and the little girls. Yeah, it's hard to be serious about this. That mean it's too bad. Well, listen, it is very serious. I guess it is very serious. Maybe you should see a therapist. Yeah, I think just go that route. Better help.

Better help, doctor. Slash the commercial break. This isn't- Just try out therapy. Just try it out. See what they say. Take all that money you're spending on dybraism. Take all that money you're spending on diapers

and put it to our therapy. Yeah. All right. Something that we're just putting on a front, this is who we are. This is what makes us happy. I am baby girl every day, almost all day. From the time I wake up till a few.

I love the club music, they have gone. I know it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I feel like that's Miami hotel lobby music. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's like you walk in, you're like palm trees. You're right, yeah. Wow, yeah, it's Carlton and my, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Hi, Mr. Green, could you have fresh cucumber cucumber water. Why yes, I don't mind and for my and for my three-year-old

And for my little girl here. Yes, a boba if you don't mind. She's got to go stinky Do you have a baby changing station anywhere that holds up to 135 pounds? Two hours before can I get a crib in the King suite of there? Or I go to bed, I'm in little space. Every morning, I get spuddle baths with army feet with bath toys. And if I don't get a bath, I get sad. It's mostly fun and game. Yeah.

It's mostly saddened games. Yeah. It's not like a fun game. That one's a fun and game. It's mostly saddened games. Yeah. It's not like a fun game. It's mostly saddened games. Yeah, saddened games. I like that. Instead of fun and games, I'm going to start saying this. It's like fun and games, only sad and games.

I'm bot when Michelle misbehaves that are repercussions. What the heck is going on in this room? Look at this mess. What the behavior chart is, is I get... The behavior chart? Oh my god. I don't even have a behavior chart. They're like gold stars. Yeah, I think so. Three check marks a day, green for good behavior, yellow for warnings, or red for bad behavior. And based on how many you have, daddy sets out a punishment or he lets you kick out a reward. And they have quite a selection of titles.

Oh my God. Wow. Well now I'm confused because I mean, you know, it is the goal to be bad and get spanked or is the goal to be good. It's very confusing. I think that's all part of the, it's all part of the saddened games of it.

It's, it's, it's up to good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. like crying around. I mean, now we're buying into it. Now we're like, hmm, how's our behavior? Does she eat on her own? Well, she has a behavior.

Does she know where ABC? That's right. A, B, C, D, F, T, H, oh, there comes the battle. But different punishments. That means you're getting the cane. The cane. You're still? Yes, done're getting the cane. The cane. You're still? Yeah, done. Oh my god.

The cane. What? The c-cover, a break brother. The cane. This has got to be illegal. It can't be true. Oh my god. I mean, I know that some women are into, like, the dominatrix stuff, but usually it's

like the woman who's beating up the man. Yeah. That feels safer to me. One of women's beating up the man. But when you're taking a cane to someone? I mean, I know that some women are into like the dominatrix stuff But usually isn't that the woman who's beating up the man that feels safer to me one of women's beating up the man But when you're taking a cane to someone Didn't they outlaw canine? Yeah, I think they still can't I mean is that with a cane they're hitting with a cane. Yes. They're hitting it's but it's not actually a cane It's like a like a old man's cane. No, it's it's like one of those like you know It's like a... Like an old man's cane? No, it's...

It's like one of those like the James Bond. James Bond cane. What do they call those? I don't know, a tip top or whatever. Like with the kind that he pushes up his top hat with. Don't care. There's a knife in the bottom. Top of the morning.

The kind you stick your top hat on when you get to the club. I think... There you go, Butler. There you go, Jeeps. I'll be relaxed. I'll be relaxed. when you get to the club. There you go, Butler. There you go, Jeeps. I'll be relaxing. I'll be relaxing in the library. Could bring me a scotch. Two rocks, please.

I grew up in a very disful and there in household. When I was a kid, I took... Why do I feel like someone voted for Trump? Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom born for this. Once you go in there, let's get this over with. Do you think you were born to be someone's daddy that's on a full grown adult? I don't think you're born into that, buddy. No, no. And I mean, this is not a new thing as far as, you know, the spanking goes.

No. Or the different little, you know, hey. No, the nuance. It's your daddy's life. Yeah, it's your daddy. No. But the woman dressing like an actual and being an actual toddler, that's different.

Yeah, it's different. And she makes dirty diapers. So we'll get to that, but she makes dirty diapers and he cleans them. That would be the part right there that even if I could get into the rest of it, you know, the spanking and all the other stuff and you know, control over some of the caning,

it's more like a windshield wiper, it's really what it is when you look at it on TV. It's not like a cane. It's like a something designed to cause more pain, not less. I can actually gain, I don't know. Anyway, I ended it right there because it couldn't take any more of it. So I just ended it on that noise. There's, there's another, you want to hear another clip of another one, another couple?

Aaaaah. Real quick, a couple. In the words of Peter Pan, I never want to grow up. In the words of Peter Pan. In the words of Peter Pan. You know, I just think that this is like, I don't know who they are. Yeah, it's disturbing.

I think that's what it is. It's disturbing. I'm to each their own, but I think it's just a compliment. I'm so happy to see myself being very open-minded. I don't know. I'm talking about this. I don't know. Bitch.

I think you heard about the tinkle and the stinky. I'm a little and he's my daddy. Me. Oh, oh, what happened? That was weird. This is a valley of ashes. A fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat and turrages and hills and grotesque gardens where ashes take the form of houses and chimneys and rising smoke. And finally, with a transcendent effort of men who moved dimly and already crumbling through the power of dreary air. Is she all drugs?

No! I think the point is, is what the filmmaker, who by the way is, just like, it's an online, you know, channel or whatever. But the point of the filmmaker he's trying to make is that this girl reads very adult literature, which sounds to me like, she's the first time she's ever picked up a book. She's like, and the valley of Aresha can come down, crumbling down. What's that word, dimly lit? And then, and now. Peppa and Emily help out

like to share their toys with each other. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I feel dirty. I feel dirty just listening to this. Don't you? I mean. Yes, yeah, yeah. Actually, I can't rationalize this.

I can't. I'm trying to go, listen, it's to each their own, but I feel like this is like one step away from pedophilia. It is Yeah, it's like it's like make believe pedophilia, which is still bad Still bad. Yeah, it means yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know. Let's pretend that we're pedophiles That's what it is. That's pretend, yeah. I guess. You kind of saying like, I really want to do this. I really want to do this when you're acting like a young child.

Yeah. Yeah. OK. Some people would make the argument. Please, they need to do this. DCV minus. We'll blow the other content. Yeah.

We've raised the bar in the streaming wars once again. Take that Disney Plus! Take that in your fulking wagdals. Okay, you made it through. Episode 1 of 5 of TCB The Lost Tapes. Our last gift to you in 2021 and season number two. Remember, we'll be back early January for the beginning of season number three in our brand new TCB studios.

www.tcbpodcast.com, watch all the video, listen to all the audio. youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe if you would like and comment on your favorite videos at the commercial break on Instagram and 661-237-8296. That's 661. Best the number 2, yo, text us, leave us a voicemail, and you may be featured on a future episode of the commercial break. Now what are you doing listening to us? Go enjoy your family, it's Christmas, and we'll be back next week with more lost tapes.

And until then, I love you, best of you out there in the podcast universe, and we always say bye-ee! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays, and now Fridays! New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green,

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