The Commercial Break - TCB The Lost Tapes - Tripping Disney

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

Bryan and Krissy discuss Walt Disney World during the pandemic, magical childhood visits and some special Disney "trips" Bryan took as a teenager on this unreleased episode from 2021! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's Rock and Cock New Year's Eve brought to you by Joanne's Chicken and Cheese Bucket Truck. Spend a buck and you're in luck when you get a clock from our Chicken and Cheese truck. WSHIT is the only station in town covering New Year's Eve from multiple locations across the Krab Apple Township. And of course, where are the only station in town to cover the used tire drop at midnight? There's nothing quite like watching those used tires drop from the roof of Jax, used tire and jackshack. But first, let's go live to the frosty Pine Cone Retirement Village,

where the party is just brewing at 7-1 PM Eastern Standard, I am told one of Krab Apple's finest senior karaoke stars is just about to perform a brand new, never before heard song. Let's go now and listen into Mrs. Cynthia Alper, as she sings that brand new song at the Frosty Pine Cone Retirement Village. Go tell it on the mountain with Jesus Christ's born. While shepherd's kept their watch angle, decided to walk by night. We go through on the end, and your shock no more.

What a wonderful message of hope, especially after all of the terrible outbreaks of gonorrhea at the Frosty Pine Cone retirement village this year we covered it extensively here on WSHIT, so many victims, so much sex going on. Listen, we'll take a short break, we'll be back after this commercial break. The song about hope, I love it after this year's terrible outbreak of Climidia at the Senior Retirement Center, we covered it extensively here on WSHH. What a wonderful message of hope, especially after all of the chlamydia outbreaks at the frosty pine comrade center oh man what a message of love and hope from sinthia after all that chlamydia over there

by the crotchini shit man i can't get this right what a wonderful message of hope and love from Cynthia after what has surely been in terrible year. So much chlamydia, so much sex going on inside of that place. Damn it, Brian. What a message of hope, what a message of love from the frosty pine cone retirement center. So many penises have been affected by the chlamydia over there so much carnage. Why did they just, she says,

one a message of hope and love from Cynthia after her body swast, certainly devastated by all the clumsiness that someone gets them some condoms. God damn it, we'll be back after this commercial break. Brian! On this episode of the Commercial Break, the date was May 24, 2021. Warm weather and a large vaccine rollout had sent the coronavirus back to the hellhole from which it came, or at least that's what we thought. For a large portion of our quarantine, I had spent time in a place called Clubhouse.

A magical cesspool filled with drama, NFT rooms, comedy, and my club, the comedy podcast club. Clubhouse was an application that allowed you to talk with other people inside of a quote-unquote room, much like a party line back in the 1990s, but with some measure of control over who spoke when. In the comedy podcast club, we managed to get Bill Burr and Stephen Wright and Susie Esman. However, like a lot of magical moments, it only lasted so long. I met a lot of interesting characters in there, some that are still friends of mine to this

day, and while I don't spend any more time on a clubhouse, we did meet one very interesting human being. He claimed to have worked at Disney for a number of years where he spent time in the character department. He claimed he was Mickey, he claimed he was Minnie, he even claimed he was Tinkerbell. This guy was too good to pass up. We were gonna bring him on, do a wide-ranging interview on what it's like to work for the Walt Disney World Corporation and supplement that with an additional show where I would share my stories about Disney World, having gone there many, many, many times with my family and otherwise. We recorded the first episode where I shared my experiences, however,

the interview never went down as it was supposed to. I am gonna make my own guesses as to why not, but you can probably get the drip that this guy was full of shit in the first place. We stuffed this episode in the can not being able to produce the more interesting interview episode, but listening back, I thought it was good fodder for TCB the Lost Tape. So here is most of the episode that we recorded as a precursor to the interview with the former Disney employee, TCB The Lost Tapes, part 2.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. What do you think of when you hear the following song? When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are. Mickey! Oh. I think of Mickey. You think of Mickey? Or Disney?

Oh, you think of Disney? Are there the ones that came up with it? I thought... Oh, kidding, it's Walt. It's Walt. Okay, yes. It's Walt Disney. It's Walt Disney of course. He sang the song with Jiminy Cricket originally. Jiminy and Walt sang that song and man will bring a tear

to your eyes or watch in the fire walks. That was from, I don't think it was from a movie. I think it was from, they used to, okay, so welcome to the commercial break. And what we're gonna do for the next two days, we're gonna dedicate, and I'd like to do this every year, if we will. I'm gonna dedicate this to Walt Disney World specifically. We're gonna call it Twisted Disney, because of course we've got to,

yeah, Twisted Disney, because we got to do it in the commercial break style. We're just gonna tell a bunch of frothy, you know, love stories about Disney. Right. But Disney World is something that I admittedly love very much. I've been going there since I was a young child. I've been there many, many, many times, too many times to count. I've spent so much money there. You could probably build a beautiful house and downtown Atlanta for the amount of money we've spent at that fucking place. And they just opened back up to Fulkeh Pass. They just opened back up.

That's why I thought it was a good week to do it. They just opened, well they've been, oh Disney Land just opened, but Disney World has been open almost the entire time. I think they closed for about two weeks and that was it. It was limited. It was limited in man. If we had known what we had known now, if only I had the four side of four side or the four side of after side or whatever you call it. If I only had that and I would have known that you wouldn't have to stand in line for

four hours and fifty fucking six minutes to get on God damn space mountain, I would have headed down there with a plastic shield all over my body, wrapped the kids in a couple of aluminum foil packets and sent them down their way. Because people were sending videos when the pandemic came, Disney World had to close because of the restrictions

or they did close whatever, though whether they made the choice or it happened, I forgot. But they made the choice when they opened back up, they opened back up with 10% capacity. Never in the history of ever since 1978, or whenever the place opened, would you have ever seen lines like that ever? When I first went there as a child,

I don't remember standing in a lot of lines, though my dad told me there were lines, they just weren't six hours long. Now, whenever you go to Walt Disney World, and I'm talking about the one in Florida specifically, whenever you go to Walt Disney World, and I'm talking about the one in Florida specifically, whenever you go to Walt Disney World, you can be assured that half of your time is gonna be spent planning,

which rides you're gonna spend, where you're gonna go to on the day, and the other half is gonna be spent standing in line for those rides. You have to figure it out, Disney. Stop letting so many people in the damn park, right? Do you get, do you, like, six flags where you get the fast pass?

Oh, it's a whole thing. I don't even know if you want to go into. We can probably talk about this for six hours alone. They got a fast pass reservation system that you can start actually making those reservations months in advance if you're staying inside of the resort. For the line, for the ride. For the ride.

So you can say at 12.55 on April 3rd, even though it's, you know, November of the year before, on April 23rd, I am going to go on space mountain. And then at 150, I'm going to go on whatever, little, you know, it's a small world, and you know, hang myself in the middle of the boat ride. Or, and then you can do a third, but you can only do three per park per day, right?

So, what Disney has done is essentially, they have made the biggest, largest rides, the ones that everyone wants to get on, appointment showings. It's like making an appointment to see a house that's on fucking sale, right? You got to say you're going to be there in a window between 10, 10, and 10, and 15, or whatever it is, and then you go there, and then you have to hope like how that you can get on any other ride in the park within that three-hour time period you're going to have left over after standing in. Even when you do the fast pass,

you still stand in a fast pass fucking line. It makes no sense. And it costs extra, right? No, it doesn't cost extra. Well, when you stay, no, it doesn't cost extra. It's just for management, for essentially what Disney is. Let me tell you something, there are two things. They're a real estate company and they are a logistics company. That's what they are. They're those two things. That's what Disney

world does. They figure out how to move, move, feed, sleep, and you know, clean, tens of thousands of people every hour of the day, right? That's what they do. They're a logistics company. How do we do this and most efficiently as possible? And then also they buy real estate. And they hold it and they make it way more valuable than it ever should be. So congratulations to them. I love Disney. You do.

But I hate to fucking lines. And I gotta say something to you, Disney. You gotta get shit to get. When I pay $675,000 to send me and my two kids down there for one fucking hour, I gotta get on more than one ride. Last time I went to Disney World. The last time that I went to Disney World with my wife

and my son was Thanksgiving of 2019 where the rest of my family. And do you know how many rides we got on the day we went to the Magic Kingdom? We were down there for four days. You know how many rides we got on and we went to the Magic Kingdom? How many? Take a guess.

Four days. Four days, but for the day that we went to the Magic Kingdom, there are four parks down there. We went to one of them called the Magic Kingdom. Take a guess. Uh, four days. Four days, but for the day that we went to the Magic Kingdom, there are four parks down there. We went to one of them called the Magic Kingdom, which is, you know, the crown jewel. Yeah. Because we're Mickey's, the castle and the whole nine yards. You know what I mean, rides I got on?

Two. Two. Really? Two. Fucking two rides. Well, oh God damn day. Dang, that's a long time. I paid so much money. Now I get it. It's Thanksgiving. Everybody wants to go. But I paid so much money to go down there. And I got on two rides.

Two. What do you do with children all day? Oh my god, run the coolest place on earth. And I can't do anything but stand here in the middle of the line for hours on end. Wow. You got to do something about this, doesn't you? Reduce your crowd size.

That's what I think you should do. I think you should do. I'm going to do something about this. I'm going to do something but stand here in the middle of the line. Right. For hours on end. Wow. You got to do something about this, Disney. Reduce your crowd size. That's what I think you should do. I think you should only let, if you can fit, you know, 200,000 people in Walt Disney, in the whole entire resort in all four parks on one day, you know what you should do?

Fit 100,000 of them in there. Charge us a little bit of upcharge. Go 10% up on the tickets so you can make some money back. And then keep the crowd sizes to a minimum. Yeah, the experience needs to be a part of it now. I will spend more, I will stay late, I will suck the dick of the Walt of the Disney. I swear on all that's only I will.

But I will not do that. If I can only go on two rides when I just paid $400 for a day at your park. Yeah. No, wait. Wow. Now, I really want to be there. All of that said, Disney is wonderful.

I truly enjoy it. I enjoy every aspect of Walt Disney. It's like a magical place where you go. It is. And as soon as you get, it's just unbelievable. There's, you know, 20 square miles. Walt Disney World, the complex is 20 square miles. It's its own city. It's got its own fire station. It's got its own police department. Well, it's got its own police. It's got its own police department, but Orange County Sheriff's Office really provides them.

Yeah, security really is what it is. It's like a police department, but it's really security. They have their own water department. They have their own electric company. They do everything. Wow. It's just amazing What they have done with this place and it truly is magical. There's no place else like it on earth. It is manicured Clean music playing out of it. You know trees in the middle of the forest, you know It's a magical place and it's hard not to be to get engulfed in that magic. But we are humans. So we do have a tendency to fuck things up. That's just what we do.

I started going there when I was a kid. So the first time that I went there, I was probably six years old. It's a shortly after Epcot opened, 1982. So I was, yeah, probably six years old. And I went there and I went there and I stayed at the Polynesian Resort, which is one of the few hotels

that was down there inside of the Magic King, inside of the Walt Disney World Complex at the time. Yeah, I've been to that resort. And I'll just never forget it. It was like the most magical thing that had ever happened to me. And I was full. I was baked in the second that I went, right?

Now I, yeah, not to mention my dad's a huge fan and my mom was a huge fan. So we were all huge fans. And so now this becomes the crowning jewel of our vacation lives. It's to go down to Disney World. And we do many times, right? All right, we'd say many times

for a family that lived in Chicago, many, you know, a thousand miles away. Yeah. But as we were getting teenagers, now we're living in Atlanta. We decided that it was time to break away from our parents and go to Disney World on our own.

Set loose. Set loose. That list. So at 17 years old or 16 years old, my dad, Kevin, myself, and a couple of our friends, three, four of our other friends. Spring break is coming up, and we had never been really spring breakers.

My dad would not let us go down to Panama City because that was you know good place to get arrested. I went down there. Pregnancy. Yeah. Fall off of balcony. Yeah. All right, so my dad wouldn't let us do shit like that. And you know, to be honest with you, we weren't all that interested in that. We were more interested in like, you know, finding meaning and pink Floyd's the ball down the basement on 16 hits of, you know, Jesus Christ LSD. Right.

You know, because when they put a name like Jesus Christ on the LSD, you know you're in for a ride. Yeah. We were looking for that. Well, I was looking for that Jesus Christ. You got that Jesus Christ man. You got that Jesus Christ. And it was good acid.

Good acid man. I could clean. Good clean acid. Lots of visuals dude. Are you seeing trails? Yeah, like it's trails man. I get the trails. Can you taste the metal in the back here? That's a visual, dude. Are you seeing trails?

Yeah, that's trails, man. I get the trails. Can you taste the metal in the back of your tongue? I got to do it. I'm seeing trails. I got the wigglies. You got the wigglies? You feel like your hair is growing.

You feel like you're becoming a werewolf. So, you know, we were experimenting. Or I was, I won't speak for Kevin, but I was well into my drug experimentation, you know, peyote, LSD, whatever, you know. Expanding your mind. Expanding my mind. I think I'd even done cooking at this point. I mean, like I was just a, I was like, who are we again, basically.

But we got this idea, as spring break is approaching, why don't we go to Disney World? Kevin and I both had jobs, and we both had just enough money we felt like to get one hotel room for all of us. And then we could go down to Walt Disney World. We couldn't stay at Walt Disney World, but we could stay at the Embassy Suites. And the Embassy Suites had two rooms per room. There was two bedrooms. That's what they called the Suites, right?

Every room is a suite. And so they had two rooms and then a living room. Yeah, with the Polon Council. That's right. And so we were like, this is, we can do this. Yeah. We got this. We got this.

And so my dad agreed. I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it. I got it. I got it. Hey, everybody. Thanks for tuning in to TCB The Lost Tapes. As Chrissy and I take a short break

between season number 2 and season number 3. I wanted to remind you that you can go to tcbpodcast.com, listen to all the audio and watch all the video of every single released episode straight from the website. You can also get your free limited edition collectible TCB sticker by going there. Give us your information, we'll tell you how to get the sticker and we'll send it off to you. youtube.com slash the commercial break is our YouTube channel. You'll also find content there.

You can't get anywhere else. Clips every single day of the week as well as special in the studio editions of the commercial break. At the commercial break on Instagram, if you'd like to follow us, and 661, best the number 2-0, 661-237-8296 is where you can text us or leave us a voice message and we may use that voice message on a future episode. Listen, have a wonderful and happy new year, Chrissy and I and the family members are on the mend from coronavirus and we'll be back in just a couple of days for season number three. And now, please take the time to listen to our sponsors and

use their specialized URLs or codes if you're in the market for their products or services. Then you can listen to more of me blabbing on about nothing after this commercial break. So, my dad agreed. He allowed us to do it. He said, okay, your kids can go. I'll buy the tickets for you. I'll put my credit card down for the hotel and be safe. Have fun. And that's exactly what we did. We went down there and within 15 minutes of getting outside the city of Atlanta, we started eating LSD. And we had a bag full of ecstasy and a bag full of pot. I think someone had much room.

I mean, I don't know what we were thinking. But we went down there and we got to the embassy sweets and we checked it. We drove. We drove? How long of a drive is that? Ah, just six hours. From Chicago. No, from Atlanta. We're living in Atlanta.

That's right. Okay. So it's just, maybe at the time it was eight hours because now we drive faster than we did back then. Back then, the speed limit was 55. Now it's 85 or whatever. You know, that 112 or however fast people go. And so we get down to Orlando and we get to Disney World. And the first thing we do is we check into the hotel.

So we go, we check into the hotel. And everyone has eaten acid or something, right? So we are all like, you know, you can imagine us checking in. Cool man. Is that a computer? Sweet. Can we have a bed near the pool? I'm sorry sir, the pool. Yeah, can you have a bed near the pool? I'm sorry, sir, the pool. Yeah, can you have a bed near the pool? The pool is inside. It's inside, sweet. They knew right away. They knew.

They could probably smell us coming. They were like, ah, let's put these guys up on the top. Right away from the pool. Right from everybody else. Yeah. And then they probably thought better. Someone's going to die. If you have been in an embassy, sweets,

they're all famous for the, because they have atrium. Like, it's a big square, and then on the outside of the square are the hotel rooms, and then there's a big atrium where you get, you know, huge atrium, and it goes, yeah, it's just a big open middle, right? So we get a hotel room, it's me, Kevin and I, two other guys, and two girls, so it's like, you know, six of us all together. And so me and this girl are going to share a bed and Kevin and this other girl are going to share a bed.

And then two of the guys are going to grab the other, the other room, right? And so we all get change and we all get ready and we go out for the evening. We decide we need to get something to eat. Why we decide we need to get something to eat? I have no idea. No one eats on acid. That's not what happens. You're not hungry. There's no hunger. I don't know if you've done LSD out there, but if you've ever done LSD that's not what happens. You're not hungry, there's no hunger. I don't know if you've done LSD out there, but if you've haven't done LSD, here's what happens. You lose everything basically goes out the window. Like you have no semblance of time or space.

If you can even make out shapes or colors, you're doing well, I mean, you know what I'm saying? This is everything you're in a black hole, basically, with lots of like pretty lights and things like that. So we out and and have something to eat upon which all of us order food But no one eats the food. Yeah, we we have now taken more acid and we are just sitting there staring at us Meanwhile, I have a tendency to freak out sometimes so I was like freaking out. I'm like they know everybody knows We all know everybody knows, we all know, everyone knows.

All Disney World Security, they call my dad. I don't even know. I don't want to go to Disney like this. I don't want to go to Disney like this. Now I'm scared that I'm going to ruin my childhood if I go to Disney like this. But we managed to make it through the night and we go the next day.

The first place that we go is to Epcot Center. Epcot Center is the second park that was built. It's the one with the big ball, everyone's seen it. Yeah, and it's mainly an educational place. At that time, it was just mainly education. I had a couple of rides, but mainly it's these, you know, you walk around the world, right? You walk around the world.

I'm going to have an event to Epcot center. You walk around the, there's like 12 different lands, Japan land, German land, you know, Canada land, whatever. And you walk around this big lake and around the lake is you walk into another country, essentially. It's what you do. That's the back of the park and in the front of the park, it's all dedicated to like science and nature, right?

So they have innovations about, you know, I don't know about Exxon mobile or something, I'm not even sure what it's about. They have the big ball which you can go up into, you know, it's a ride where you can just, you know, you go into the ball and then it takes you up and it takes you down. It's like a dark ride.

So you go up all the way to the top of the ball. Meanwhile, the entire time you're going through time, like they start you off at the beginning of time. And then they, you, it's fun. It's fun. It's great, right? And you move through this timeline all the way up to the present and then you go backwards all the way down

as you move, you know, to further into the future or whatever it is. So we're bright eyed in bushy tail that like 10 in the morning at Epcot Center and me and the two girls had ridden in one car and Kevin and some of the guys had ridden in another car and while we were driving, one of the girls suggested that now would be a good time to take the ecstasy, right? Let's each take two hits of this ecstasy and That way we'll really have a great day Right well, man, did we have a great day?

They lasted all of an hour that felt like 24 hours It's the first thing we did was we went in that goddamn dark ball and I'm like I can see my life Which year is it? Wait, we can't read right yet. You're going through time. So they're like, you know, then the ad- The prehistoric men.

Cavemen would write on the walls with, you know, and I was like, who's talking to me? I thought we could read. We don't have televisions. I was freaking out, holy, like freaking the fuck out, because I honestly thought we were moving through a timeline of space and time. I thought like this, like it was linear.

I didn't know. Yeah. So by the time we got down to the bottom of the ball, I am in full-frenzied mode. And the other two girls are like, you know, they're like, ah, lalalala, right. I love you. I am in full-friendly mode and the other two girls are like, you know, they're like Skylipican is under the moon night You know they got their flowy dresses on and they're doing dances. You know

Everybody knows I know everybody knows how I know everybody knows cuz I got two half-naked hippie chicks running around the flower beds of You know Disney's singing Talking to Jerry Garcia and me crying in the corner The big balls gonna come off its hinges and just roll on us don't you see it's all coming to an end It was a mess. We were all the disaster. Oh my god. What were Kevin and the other two guys? I don't know where the fuck they were who knows well Kevin and the other two guys? I don't even know where the fuck they were. Who knows? Well, Kevin and the other guys, they were at the, at the end, they got into the park a couple hours or a couple of minutes before us. We eventually caught up with them

and Kevin is rolling a joint right there in the middle of fucking Epcot. It's 1992. It's not 2021. When, you know, rolling a joint is just another day of the office. When fuck any Elon Musk is light enough with Joe Rogan and no one gives a shit about your weed.

Back then it was a big deal, it was a felony, you go to jail for that. Kevin's rolling up a dube on a bench in the middle of Epcot and I have freaking, I'm like, Kevin, you can't do that. Brian, chill out, man. What's your fucking problem, dude? You're always tripping out. And I'm like, I'm not tripping out. We're gonna get arrested.

And he's like, there's not even cops in Disney World. This is security guards. Don't worry about, no one cares. Apparently no one did, because Kevin just lit up right there. Kevin's got a big fat fucking bob Marley. He's like, you can't even smoke in the park, let alone. I mean, yeah, Kevin. Kevin's got balls of steel.

With his neckless and his hair down to his shoulders. He's got a three-hemp choker on. His 3D is Birkenstocks that smell like cow nuts. It's Coderoy's's it's 92 degrees outside. He's got corduroy's on the long sleeve shirt What a hackie sack that he keeps on breaking out in the line Backie said oh Don't mind if I do For hackie sack Oh, don't mind if I do. They're hacky-sackin' Of course.

Oh, fuck was that? It's a bean bag. It's a bean bag you kicked, and how many times you could kick it? Just about sit around. Yeah, I mean, woo. So the whole time Kevin's like,

you know, Kevin's smoking. He's trying to light up this, he's lighting up this joint. They're passing it around. And meanwhile, I am literally doing like big circles around them, like looking for security guards. I'm like, ah, here comes somebody.

Come to here comes everybody. What do you want to do? But I don't think Kevin has taken a amount of ecstasy. No. You have to understand back then too. Ecstasy was MDMA was not, there was synthetic MDMA, but what really what ecstasy was back then, was pressed heroin and speed.

That's what it was. It was a speedball. It really wasn't like what you think of today, like the chemical M.D.M.A. People would pass off a speedball, which again, is like, you know, like, a, and fetamine and some kind of opiate derivative, that you would put together along with some kind of hallucinogen in it.

And then, so you just were really fucked. If you, and it was a much different thing back then that it is now, right? Where there's, you know, it was 52% pure, 92% pure and it makes you feel it. After this whole incident with Kevin in the joint, I was totally fucking freaked, right? Yeah, I'm sure I had taken three or four hits

off the joint too. So now I'm fully engulfed. And like, yeah, I kicked it out. Yeah. Like, you know, in China, they have the big dragons and they do the whole thing. Yes. Okay, with the sticks on the, you know, the big ceremonial dance that they do. Right. And so they do this every hour on the hour in Epcot and as we're walking around and these girls are flowy dresses and no bras on. We go to China and they have one of these things, right? Over the dragons and they're doing a show. And I am like, I think the dragon is eating me.

I'm on the ground. At which point, Some mother who obviously understood when I was going through, motherly figure comes up and puts her hand on my shoulder and is like, son, are you okay? And I'm like, I think so. And she's like, did you take anything today? And I was like, uh, some orange juice.

All right. And she's like, okay, I got you. Do you want to come get out of the sun and get, you know, get cooled off? And I was like, that's a really good idea. And so she bought me a bottle of water, she brought me a bottle of water, and she sat me down in this like, you know, and she sat and talked to me for a few minutes. Yes, that was fun.

Which calmed me down. But as soon as I got up off the bench, I was right back to freaking out. And so I went to the ladies, who now one of them was starting to kind of freak out a little bit too, right? And so I just being around people in the hot sun and all that stuff. And so we said we made a collective decision. Let's get out of here as quickly as we possibly can without being noticed. So now it became like a mission to walk through all these other human beings all the way to

the front of the park and out to the car. Okay. There's only one problem. You didn't have a car? We don't know where the fuck we're parked. That parking lot is 650,000 cars. And no one thought to find out which row we were in. Oh God.

None. We had no idea. We walked out to that parking lot and all of us realized at the same time. Oh shit. Do you remember where we parked? No, I don't. Was it to the right of that?

I don't know. Was it to the left of the monorail, to the right of the monopause? I don't was it to the right of that. I don't know was it the left of the monorail to the right of the monopause I don't know. It is a sign fell episode. Yeah, and so we began to walk in endless circles around this parking lot Trying to find this fucking Saturn Mirage or whatever the fuck He was driving And we couldn't find it. It wasn't there. So at one point a Disney security truck comes a great right? Hey kids, hey guys, you know, and I was like, oh shit, we're all going to Disney jail. We're going to the clink. Mickey's gonna rape us. We're gonna get little mouth-sticks in

our asses. And he's like, hey guys, you know, he jumps out of the truck and he's like, come on over, come on over, you know, he's got it pulled over, the lights go in the whole night yard. And so I think we kind of sheepishly walk over and he's like, hey guys, how you doing? And we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I need my mommy, I need my mommy. And he says, let's not understand. You know, his mouth's all big because I'm tripping.

He's like, I understand. And he's like, what are you guys doing? Like, everything's like, that's all cartoonish because I was like, what are you guys doing? And I'm like, we're looking for our car. And he goes, oh, where'd you park? We don't know. Did you park at Epcot?

We don't know. And he says, don't worry, we're gonna help you find your car. And he asked what kind of car it is. And he finds the car. Really? Found the car. They had some kind of a system because I'm sure you weren't the only ones that did

this. No, of course not, you know. We were exactly six and a half feet from the fucking car these entire time, right? That's what we got. We were like, two rows over. So he's like, you know, he waves us over, peep, peep, peep. Yeah. You know, I found a car or the car fitting the description, right?

Right. And so we go over there and he goes, okay, kids, you need any other help? Are you going, are you going very far? Do you need any help getting home? Do and he goes, okay kids, you need any other help? Are you going very far? Do you need any help getting home? Do you want to take a cab or something? And one of the girls was luckily, you know, no, no, we got it, we got it.

And so he's okay, okay, goodbye. And we're like, okay, goodbye. And then we go to unlock the door and realize that we don't have the keys. They're actually locked in the car. Oh my God. In the ignition. What?

In the ignition. That had been running the entire time. No. Yes. So now, not only so this is like, we're talking about three hours. Because it's a Saturn fucking morage in 1992. There's no audit. They have automatic locks, but you can lock the doors, right?

You can just push the thing down and lock the door. Yeah, they just forgot to turn it off. We left the car on, the battery died. We are out of gas and the keys were locked in the car. We had no idea what to do. We didn't want to call the security guard because we knew he knew what something was up. Yeah, this day just goes on and on forever.

And so eventually the guys make their way back and they realize that now we're in real distress, right? We're hot, we're sweaty, we're sitting on the back of this car, we've gone nowhere since he left us two hours ago, right? And he's like, what's going on guys? And we're like, nothing. We're out of gas.

We need to charge. We're high next to sea. We gotta make it to slank, Clemente to see the dead. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, by the way, one of the girls who was with us was like, don't worry, we can just camp out here all night. And I was like, yeah,

what's that problem that's not gonna solve? I don't know, but it'll be morning. So they eventually, without any drama whatsoever, they got us to can of gas, they popped open the thing and they charged the car. And they did all the, yeah. So now, but now we've been out in the parking lot for like five hours, right? And when we get in the car, the girl that we were with, she just couldn't drive. She just was not in the right mental frame to drive.

And I certainly was not either because my freak out had gone from bad to worse. I was now just like crawled up in a ball on the top of the car. I was like, I don't want to do anything. I want to go nowhere right now. And so what we ended up doing was we just turned the car on, let the air conditioning run. And we all just kind of sat there for a couple of hours. It's going to be came down listening to grateful dead music. And every once every 30 minutes, you see that guy that's security guard. Bam, bam, bam. We be like, and he went back to us because he knew

that he was like, just let him come down. It's going to be a hell of a headache. We'll make it down, but you know, some come down. Oh, this one on for four days. That was day one. This one on for four days. It did. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, place because of all the lights and there's a big fireworks show and there's a you know water and all this other stuff. Yeah. And so one night the thing is is that Disney at least they they wouldn't at the time. They had a policy that there was there was a closing time. Yeah. But it was kind of a suggestion. They weren't going to kick you out if you were still hanging around. Okay. They just figured eventually you'd leave. Yeah. And by the rides close. The rides closed. Yeah. Everything

closes, right? That everything closes and sections of the park eventually get roped off. But the truth is is that at that time, at least in 19, whatever it was, 92, no one was going to fucking bother you, right? They were just like, well eventually they'll leave. What are they going to do? What are they going to do? And we're going to be here all night, so it doesn't really matter anyway, right? Disney World doesn't close.

It's just, there's times when people are in the parks with the workers and times when the workers are just there by themselves doing whatever they're doing. And so one night, we purposefully kind of tried to avoid all of the security and the workers so we could just hang out there because Kevin wanted to roll a dooby and get smoking again.

Kevin was on a mission. Just give this high as he could all the time. So, you know, so we did this. The park, the park might have closed at 10 and we were there at 12. I mean, we must have been there for two and a half hours at one point, literally hiding behind a bench. Just walking around, being unbothered. By the time, by the time midnight rolled around, there were very few people left in the park,

except for the occasional employee who was either leaving the shift or going to a shift, and they really didn't bother us. And there were security guards, but we didn't really see them. And if we saw them, we were too high to see them, so it didn't really matter. But the lights were still on, and the music was still playing. I mean, most of the lights were on, the music was still playing. I mean, most

of the lights were on. The music was still playing. Music plays 24 hours a day and never shuts off. At least that's my experience, right? And you've tested it. And I've tested it. We were there till 12.30. Holy. We were in that place all by ourselves. Just walking around. No, it could ride me. Yeah. So really at the end of the day, there's no point. I can't ride me. I can't do anything. But we were there having fun, getting loaded, just, we defiled Disney, this entire story that I had made up in my head, that Disney World is this magical place where things like drugs don't enter into the picture. Yeah, I defiled in one fine trip.

Yeah. In one vacation, one trip. I managed to spend four days, anything but sober. Fucking Mickey all over the place. Or high. If God's got this, they used to have this. It was called illuminations, you know, reflections of the world. You know, ladies and gentlemen, general electric and Walt Disney World's Epcot Center present reflections, illuminations of the world or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

One time my little brother and I were there and you know, they make these announcements like starting within the hour that this is going to happen. Okay. You know, all around the park, the musical shut off and it comes on loud, ladies and gentlemen, and exactly 55 minutes, general electric presents, reflections of illuminations. Grab your small children by the hand

as the lights and walkways will be dark. You know, you know, fireworks may be loud, you know, get your seats early. This whole thing, this whole announcement, it's about to, right? It's like, for reflections of illuminations, they keep on saying reflections of illuminations and this guy's weird, deep voice. So I was like, ladies and gentlemen, K.Y. Jelly and Walt Disney world present, reflections of erections. 12 countries, 12 hardgocks, co Cox from around the world reflections of our fraction

Why does everything go back to me? Why does everything for men go back to be this is That's a whole other brain. Have you been to Disney World? I have once no one time twice What when I was in seventh grade And that was fun and then I went another, I was down there for a conference. And Jeff happened to be down there with the girls. And so we met up, I went over to the Polynesian, we watched the fireworks and had some dinner.

Was he staying at the Polynesian? He was. Yeah, that's a great place to go. He had a beautiful hotel. He had to take the girls. But that's the only time that really said, really just once. Did you stay with him at the time? No, I was staying at my conference.

Oh yeah, yeah. So we went and had dinner and met up, but yeah. What a magical and wonderful. I want to go back. Yeah, now I'm super excited about what happens now that I have children. Yes. Because I think seeing it through their eyes

is gonna make this experience on other level of magic, right? Now I am adult and I know a lot of the behind the scenes stuff and I'm so, I was at one point so infatuated with it. Then now I know everything about it. I've been on the backstage tours. I paid the extra money to go down on the tunnel. How many times do you think you've been? 50?

Really? Yeah, maybe 50? Okay. Certainly probably 10 when we were children. probably, probably, maybe 10, maybe, yeah, maybe a little bit less. So multiple times in one year. Yeah, but you gotta understand, multiple times in one year. Astrid and I have been six times and we haven't even been married for five years.

I know you guys have been a lot. I know, we've been a lot. So there's just that alone, but then every other year, at least, I've made a trip there or two. Okay. And then that's not even counting the occasional, like night or day that I'll spend there on the way up or on the way down.

Like one time I went on a cruise, oh okay. And we drove down to Miami to catch the cruise ship, and we spent, you know, we had no intention of going there. But anytime you smell Orlando, like you get within 300 miles, you know, we had no intention of going there, but anytime you smell Orlando, like you get within 300 miles, you're like, well, gotta go Disney World, yeah. It's like a magnet, it pulls you in, you know.

And so, you know, we went, we ended up going for two days before and two days after the cruise. We ended up spending time there. And that's what Astrid and I do, you know, we have, we vacation a lot in North East Florida and then we'll go, oh, well, it's only two hours. Yeah, that's right there. And only two hours back. Does she love it too. She does. She's a big fan. Yeah, well

It's only two hours and two and a half thousand dollars for the day. We might as well go You know, and then we get to ride two rides It's a bunch of fucking horse shit man. I'll tell you that much But I you know, I don't think that I love Disney World But I'm not an apologist for Disney because I know that there are lots of I, you know, I don't think that, I love Disney World, but I'm not an apologist for Disney, because I know that there are lots of things that Disney does that I don't approve of. And one of them is absolutely packing the place.

You gotta imagine that if they loosened it up a little bit, like if they made it a little bit more, a little less crowded and people could get doing things, that people would be in a better mood. They would spend more money and they would do more things. But that doesn't seem to make any sense to Disney. They just want to pack as many human beings in there. I have been in that park for New Year's Eve, New Year's days, Christmas Eve.

I have been there when the parks within the hour of opening have been shut down due to capacity. Really? Which is insane. That's like 100,000 people have come in the front door in an hour and now they're gonna shut it down Yeah, fucking insane. Oh, they what would you do if it got shut down? You just I was in the park. Yeah, oh, if you yeah if you're not there If you're not there and you had made your resume and you hadn't made reservation or whatever the deal is right?

You are shit on the luck you you probably came from across the world across the country Spent all this money to stay at all of these hotels and and it's not, they could control this a little bit better if all the people stayed on the property and they knew where they were staying and when they were staying. But the fact that there are thousands of hotels outside of the Walt Disney World complex, that also have people that are coming into those hotels

just to stay at Walt Disney World, or just to be at Walt Disney World, it's hard to predict, I understand, when people wanna come in. But maybe you just have to limit capacity, maybe you have to have a reservation system where people tell you when they're gonna come and what time and which part they're gonna be in,

and that way you can accurately predict, and then you save a few for walk-ins, save a little space for walk-ins, but at the end of the day, you've gotta start servicing the people who are paying so much freaking money to get in that door, or people are gonna stop paying so much freaking money to get in that door or people are gonna stop paying so much freaking money to get in that door Yeah, you should tell to me. I am telling this need us right now

Okay, that's it for episode number two of TCB the lost tapes listening back to that I've realized just how far this show has come just how far this show has come. It was a different animal in the beginning of 2021 than it was at the end, that's for sure. Listen, I've got a favor to ask. If you could, take some time and leave us a review and a rating on your favorite podcast publisher or at youtube.com slash the commercial break, subscribe,

comment on your favorite video. It helps us out by growing the audience. And growing the audience tells us we're headed in the right direction and possibly to create even more content for you. So if you have a moment and you could do that or drop us in line to let us know how we're doing, we certainly would appreciate it.

Go to tcbpodcast.com. You know the drill. You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio, every single episode right there for you for free. Also, get your TCB collectible sticker. We'll tell you how. You tell us where to send it on the website, tcbpodcast.com. Okay, have a wonderful and safe new year and until next time, we must say best to you

out there in the podcast universe. We love you. And bye! Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Cano. you you