The Commercial Break - TCB TV (-) : The Rally LA! Part 1

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

Pre-Order Merch Now! Click Here! TCB TV (-): Bryan and Krissy review part 1 of The Rally LA! Part 2, Sunday August 17th, 2025 TCB Tunes: T.C.B. TV Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits & TCB Tunes: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green. Rights Reserved To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, cats and kittens. I'm very excited to share this next episode of the commercial break, but I'm also very excited to share that you can go to shoptcbpodcast.com right now and pre-order your exclusive limited time TCB merch. Hats, hoodies, t-shirts, and a free sticker with every single order. The window for the merch is only open until August 22nd, so if you want to rock our gear, you're going to have to make a commitment. I know, I know.

Procrastinators unite. I'm one of you. But this is how it works, and it's out of my hands. We think you're going to like this merch. So go to shoptcbpodcast.com right now to pre-order as many items as your little heart desires. And get a free TCB sticker. Now I'm going to stop mugging about our merch and go listen to myself, listen to myself on this episode of the commercial break. So you've loved you lost a hat some along the way.

Life gives you lots of lack. but you're in your own way. You take the good and the bad, but you don't ever win. That's because God hates you, and you are full of sin. So grab your. Good Book and Rodney the Family

It's time for TCBTV That's why TTCV TV We love our TCBTV We love our TCBTV We love our TCBTV So you play by the rules You did it all right But you're still in the basement

And alone all night You've paid your juice You've cleaned your room But your mom still makes lunch And you sleep till noon So grab your pants and take a seat It's time for

TCB TV Oh yeah TCCB TV We love our TCB TV We love our TCB TV We love our TCB TV

We love our T-E-CB-TV. Turn on T-CB-TV. Got to have T-E-CB-TV. We love our T-CB-T-B-T-V. We love our T-CB-T. We love our T.C.B. TV. We love our T.C.B. TV. We love our T.C. B. TV. On this episode of the commercial break. In the one and only review that I could find anywhere in the world about the movie The Rally L.A. breaking the curse, the reviewer who works for the faith and family focused review site Dove.org, awards the movie its coveted faith-based seal,

but warns the viewer that there is some objectionable content. However, that doesn't stop the reviewer from giving the seal because God will forgive anyone of their sins. All they have to do is ask. I'm not sure if Kenneth Copeland, Eric Roberts, or Rick Raina, the director and writer have asked for forgiveness, but I really don't give a shit. Welcome to the very first TCB minus, where Chrissy and I break down an entire television show or movie streaming and here on the podcast. However, we must have smited God because he did not allow us to stream this. We were plagued with technical issues and frustrations, a swarm of landscapers and poolmen, evil beasts in the form of Yorkies, and the plague in the form of a nasty staff infection running around my house.

All of these Satan-based things came to attack us right as we were about to go live. So if you were one of the very few that was probably waiting to watch the stream, our apologies. We'll figure it out and get it right down the road. It's just about par for the course. But as promised, here's your bonus episode of TCB-Minus, and this is just part one. Part two will come out next weekend, and we'll have a lot. more fun at the expense of the terrible acting, atrocious directing, and miserable story

that is the Rally L.A. Breaking the Curse. Get your popcorn and refill your white claw kids. This one's going to be good. Without any further addues, the very first DCB minus. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial. show break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show. Chris is Joy Holey. Only one hour late, a day late and a dollar short. And best to you, Brian.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Add that to a long laundry list of things that have just not gone our way today. Oh, my God. It's been a comedy of errors. Oh, man, I'll tell you what. I really don't know what to say. This is our second time not watching the rally.

Because we didn't record. Yeah, because we didn't quite press record on the first one. After we couldn't get the live to work. So we apologize to everyone, all 20. All seven of you who actually tried to log on. Maybe. There were 20 people that liked it on Instagram. I know a couple people texting it.

I've already texted you back personally myself to let you know that because of the pool guy, the lawn guy, the dog, Astrid, the kids in the tub. My in-laws yelling and screaming. All of it just kind of came together right at 4.4. 458, and then the second we tried to go stream, we just lost it. It just blew up. We rebooted. We unplugged wires. If you know, you know.

I-K-D-N-K-Y. If you know, you do not know that Brian and Chrissy very rarely. It's an episode. I was laughing to myself so hard thinking. It was funny. This is an episode of something. Oh, wait. It's an episode of our show.

Yes, that's right. It's another episode of the commercial break. See, when we do just exactly what we always do, everything goes fine. Exactly. Whenever we get into Scientology or Kenny Copeland, apparently things go sideways. It's also a full moon, I think, coming up. Oh, yeah, the third moon and the second phase of Mars. Let's just blame it on that.

Yeah, Mercury Rising. Elon Starlink. Yes. Or whatever all the new age witches are going to come out on Instagram and tell us is going on. Anyway, Elon Starlink messing with our head for sure. Okay, but here we are. episode where TCB minus today, we are here with you to review, to break down the reaction video for Rally L.A. Now, in the first version of this that you didn't hear because it

wasn't recorded, I told you what the movie was about via IMDB. Oh, I did that pretty good. That was my actual voice. But I'm not going to do that this time. You know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say that Kenneth Copeland is a reformed drug kingpin. His brother, Eric Roberts is a non-reformed drug king pin still active and Kenny Copeland is now trying to use the word of the Lord to slay his enemies on the streets. This movie's called Rally L.A. It's part two of a series of movies. Streaming nowhere. That's really why we believe this has not gone well is because I actually had to buy an external drive to play this DVD on the computer, then try and stream it through a television broadcasting software that just did not play nice from the beginning.

And we tried to sheen it. Yeah, we try to go to sheen. But it's, it only cost $22 and it melted when we got water on it. And Brian got a speeding ticket. I got a speeding ticket. He's trying to get some of the best buy and back. Quick, quick. We are $600 in the hole on this episode and there is zero chance.

We're going to make that back no matter how much merch we sell. If everyone who is supposed to stream bought merch, We would have just done better. So, okay. Shop TCBpodcast.com. The pre-order window is open now until the 22nd. So if you can, great. If you can't, wonderful.

If I sound a little fussy, I am. I'm old. It's past my bedtime. At least I'm still drinking. Yeah, that's true. I have my booze. All right. So if I sound a little fussy and she sounds a little drunk, it's because we are.

All right. So let's not delay. Let's get into the Rally, L.A. I'm dropping this right in your slot on a Saturday after. Sliding right in. Sliding right in your slot. Ah, to slide into a slot. Let's go. Let's watch this movie.

This is Raleigh, L.A. Starting from the beginning, kids. There's Louisiana State, set the scene, Louisiana State Penitentiary, Angola. Which is supposedly one of the worst prisons in the world. Okay. But it doesn't look that bad to me because this is not really Angola that they're filming in. But here we go. the beginning.

Is that a harp? Yes. It's a Spanish harp. Okay, now let me set the scene. Kenneth Copeland is, for some reason, sitting outside an elevator. Yeah. And two guards are bringing in a prisoner up the elevator, and he's just sitting at a desk right by the elevator. I don't know why.

And Brian knows that's Kenneth Copeland because of the wave on the back of his tape. I know his quaffed toupee anywhere. I know that quaffed, unless that is a stunt head. Yeah, Kenny doesn't do as a stunt. Yes. Now, look at the guards. They have absolutely nothing out. They have no weapons of any kind of them.

No, the one guy had like a stick, like a walking stick for a blind person. Oh, he did? Yeah. Oh, well, you know, they paid Eric Roberts all the money, so they don't have any prop budget. Prisoner sitting down. Yeah. He's Latino with a, like a braid. Yeah. Actually, I don't think he's Latino.

Just think he's extra tan. Okay. Okay. He's meant to be Latino. Yes. Everyone's meant to be Latino, but they all have Italian accents. It's kind of weird. Right. That's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here, boy. That's why I'm here. Do you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead?

Yes, Bob. You believe that with all your heart? Yes. I still don't get this part, and this is the third, fourth time we watch this. Yeah, seven time we watch this, yeah. But is that his real dad, is Papa? Or is that he's just like a, you know, the godfather? No, I think it's his real dad.

Because of what happens later, I think it's his real dad. Okay, they look nothing alike. No, they look nothing alike. Copeland is not a Spanish name. I'm just throwing that out there. I'm sure of it. Coblondia? Coblondia.

I am a believer I am a believer. I am a man of God. I am a man of God. I'm a Christian. And I don't... I have terrible gas. He's kind of cross-eyed, isn't he? He is, yeah. Kenny's got a cross-eyed. He's some cross-something.

I don't care who knows about it. I don't care who knows about it. I pray this prayer. I pray this prayer. In the name of Jesus. Which prayer is, I'm Christian and I don't care who knows about it. That was Moses 317. Zechiel 3245. Amen.

Amen. I laugh at you, Daddy. The guy is laughing. I mean, his eyes are laughing. His mouth is. His eyes are laughing. Yeah, he's even got to smirk at his mouth. This guy is like, what?

Did my agent get me into? So there you go. Kenny and his son sit down at Angola State Penitentiary, which, by the way, is in Louisiana. And then they're in L.A. for some reason. Now, now I'm going to fast forward to this part because no one cares. Yeah, no one cares about this. It's between, just to give you a recap, it's between the driver. The driver pulls up in an infinity, 1990 to infinity SUV SUV golf.

Yeah, so now we're going through the beginning of the movie. It's Kenny up. No, I'm not going to skip through that part. Oh, yeah, I should skip through that part. No, the driver. Okay, here's the driver. The driver's Rick Raina. Okay, I'm going to skip through the part where they're talking about all the people that are in the movie.

Who cares well? It's a good day. It's a good day. Oh, man. It's a good day. It's a good day. Now, let's go to the strip club and bang some hookers. Yay.

Oh, angry. do something for me. His accent is so terrible. Can you do something for me? Can you get me a little do-toot-to-s-noot, a little tasty tina? Can you call D? Yeah. Do you have any extra Viagra?

The little blue pills make your penis hard for the Lord. He's wearing his white patent shoes. White patent shoe. Kenny Copeland is, they're standing outside Angola State Penitentiure with his driver, played by Rick Raina, the director of this movie. And he's just announcing that his son has been saved by the Lord. Good news. Thank the Lord.

Good news. Love your family. Amen. Yes, sir. Don't lose your children. He's pointing to the prison. I know. Where did my kids go?

I lost that damn kid again. Where is he? Angola State Penitentiary. Do you say don't lose your children? He said, don't lose your children. That's what he said. Good advice. That is good advice.

Hey. Hey, guilty. You've got 30. There is something that I must do. I should have done 20 years ago. Taking a shit. Prostate exam. We were in the same direction.

I'm going to be away for a while. Can you get me my cola guard box? I'm going to be away for a while. Amen. Amen. Do you say amen? Yeah. Take me open.

I hate people who say amen, like, as if they've just prayed something. Yeah. Take me home. Calgun, take me away. It really is. I quit. That's no, that's an over black. Yeah, that's in 1992.

Tahoe. It's got the ski rack on top. Yeah. He's got dealer plates on the back. Of course it does. Here we go. Now we're getting to the meat of things. Well, we get into the meat and potato of the movie.

Amen. Amen. For the Lord. Okay, now we're at a house. It's a nondescript white man walking up to the door. Hey, Paul. Hey, Paul. Here's these pornoes you were looking for.

Thanks. See on Monday. See you on Monday. Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations on your re-election. Thanks. Oh, so we know he's political now. And page number 33, there's a great ass shot.

I just jizzed. Why did they have the church door? Okay, boys. Because it's all, it's, I don't know, symbology. Also, let's set the stage that they're in my parents' house back in the 90s. It's an open with the dining table from Haverty's and the overstuffed chairs. That was a set. Yes.

That came together, including those pictures in the back. I think you're right about this. I think they literally rented this from Averde's. And they're probably in a house that's for sale, because I used to rent my house out to movies for sale. My house was for sale. And so anyway, it's a mixed group of people just sitting at a men at a table. Some dressed in T-shirts, one guy in a penguin suit. One black guy, five white guys.

Uh-huh. There's a guy in suspenders. Yes. That's good too I got some way to beat Okay When the shipment gets in We'll split it

Into three smaller loads When's it get in? He said loads He said loads He said loads He's a let you know Wait You mean to tell me

You're not tracking our drugs Damn it That's important information He seems to police He seems like police He is police Listen I told you I'll be in charge of the tracking of the drugs

And I'm not tracking the drugs He's got the military cut But everybody else is bald Everyone else is bald That's the look That's the look of drug cartel Chrissy Well Look at me

I know I see Yeah Remember The second shipment We'll come up to here That's the one we need stopped The other two can go back Stop that shipment

Stop that shipment That my boys ready when it comes And that That makes for a great news story gentlemen. And Robert will have yet another accolade. All for my city. All for my city.

Is he the mayor? Yeah. And that's when Todd does a press conference in his women's panties. Shipments will move through. First into Las Vegas. Second. Up to Chicago. That's hilarious.

They have a map laid out on the table, on this dark wood 1990s table. and he's pointing to one part of the map that's just a map of Chicago it looks like Yeah, it doesn't even look like it might be a map of Chicago It's probably a map of a township And he points to one and he says Las Vegas And then he just goes up And he goes up two inches

And he goes Chicago Because Chicago and Vegas are right next to her to each other Yeah, they're close Don't worry, Paul This is definitely a model home For sure I don't need the money right your second term security should be enough in the picture now we see eric robert step up with his cigarette

vape pen i've never seen a vape that looks like an actual cigarette i mean i know they exist but that's just a weird thing he's got his wine glass of sherry gentlemen swirley it's funny how we grommel over such Trivial things Trivial things Like where your drugs are Yeah When's the shipment coming in That seems like important stuff

Not trivial Yeah which city it happens to be in It's funny How Vegas, Chicago Who cares? Why are we probably? Why are we quibbling? We've got more important things

To worry about like candy Life's about so much more Don't you think as kids we think the weather is ours I'll panel and struggle but with the kids we don't see the struggle we live our lives if they're brothers why does one have a Mexican accent

and the other one have a slobian accent I don't know they've cut a bunch of bottles just undiscript bottles no name bottles by the way and if you look at all the different shots that they're taking like from one side the other side the bottles are always the same in a different shot they're moving the bottles

around the table but I don't get Why the two brothers have different accents? Who are the brothers? Kenny Copeland and him are brothers in the movie. Eric Roberts. Because they don't really have accents, but... It's true. They're fading in and out.

As if that's an amusement park, running from rides to ride, stuffing out of face with the candy. Eric's really gone into it. He's gone to Stenzlowski method or whatever. Yeah, I... Yeah. You can tell that he's like, he's doing the... He's method acting here.

He's gone on the streets. He's done a lot of blow Which I think it's true Oh, Eric Roberts Oh God, look at them Our candy Is drugs Because I like

Because every kingpin calls their drugs Jugs It's unsource People need it like kids need the candy It's unsourced I'm not sure what that means I don't know but I think drugs are sourced I'm pretty sure they are somewhere

Struggle, not in this room. Now one man here wants for anything, am I right? And that's a big nest behind his head. He's got a mirror. I think my mom used to sell country, what is it called, Crockett or something, country crafts or something. Country Crockett, I think, is what it was called. The mirror with the room.

nest around it, yeah, handcrafted, of course. Jeff hates reeds. I hate them. Jeff hates it. Why don't we put one on the door? Christmas. Christmas. Yeah, he allows it for Christmas.

Don't put the dead tree branch reeds around my house. It reminds me of the burn nest I had hanging outside one time. We've kept even our great man of Paul from questioning. Paul. Our great man, Paul from questioning. I thought he said a great we've. Kept us from great menopause. Yeah, we've kept the menopause from questioning.

Just enough to keep them coming back to the hand that feeds them. Wise, huh? Wise, huh? What is you talking about? I made it up. Whatever I just said, I made it all up. Or my name isn't Eric Labirts. Your boys finish up.

Your boys finish up. Finish up with your grobbling. I don't. I don't. I don't need to hear about the unimportant details about our drugs. Stuff like, where's it at? How much are we selling it for? When's it going to be here?

That's our unimportant details. I will be somewhere else talking with my brother, the Reformed preacher, Ricardo Montevon. Don't mess this up. I send something happening. Oh, Shadding. He's got an intuition. The winds are changing. We need to be watchful.

The winds are changing. As a matter of fact, I just farted. I'm going to crop dust you and leave you to sort it out. Thank you. There's not a working toilet in this house. Yeah. This is a model home. Toilets don't go anywhere.

Paul. Let's let me give you a side hug. By the way. A man giving another man a side hug is weird. Yes. Been there, done that. But also, let me tell you that my sport jacket is still sewn in the back. You know, when you get a sports jacket.

Because you have to return it. Yeah, that's true. They do. But when you get a jacket as a man, the tail is sewn. It's got two little pieces of thread so that they're easier to manage. Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, it's not been cut because it needs to be returned.

Yeah, well, it doesn't fit anyway. It does not. It's an ill-fitting suit. Well, he's wearing blue pants. He's wearing blue jeans. No, I think there's just blue pants. Oh, okay. Chino pant.

That's weird. And they're a blue chino, and then the gray sport jacket with the elbow pads. Nothing like elbow pads. And a straight up to the neck red. Yeah, that's something straight out of drug cartel casting, this elbow pads. Just go black suit, go, go tox, like the other year. Okay, now we're at the high school. Okay.

Middle school? High school? Okay. Kids milling around the hall. Chris, let me. Chris. I've seen him looking at you before. I don't even know his name.

It's Jake or something like that. I don't have time for that anyway. School. Okay, well, look, someone will call. I don't have time for all that. School. I'm talking exactly like a teenager would. That's what everybody says, yeah.

Okay. Between 1861 and 1865, the Civil War occurred. Now, some of America's greatest piece. Does he have pubic hair at the front of his head? I'm just wondering. It's a puff. It's a tough. It's a puffin.

It's a puffin. The letters of literature are actually inspired by the war. Many of the writers, and I just let you know, now we're in a classroom, the girl who we've been introduced to via the hallway, where she said she doesn't doesn't have time for boys at school. At the time we're actually in the classroom or they were just understandably, very interested. Today we're going to be discussing Stephen Crane's red badge of courage. Now, you should have completed your first reading assignment for discussion here today.

But I'm going to be giving you some back. Yeah, you're right about that. He does something. He's like, I want to watch this show. Yeah, he's like, what time does we'll come on? Ground information on Crane himself. Now, do take notes. This is going

Let not your focus be divided He's leaving the sticky note Yeah but look at her She's actually taking a test No and she's taking notes Yeah why wouldn't you So this girl's She doesn't look like her focus is off

Yeah he's trying to get in bed with her On your final exam coming up Crane was actually born six years after the Civil War ended Okay now the girl is walking across the street We're assuming to her home There's a lady next door to her who's got a big push broom who's cleaning the already

clean sidewalk You know those You use those And as I pointed out now three times Because we've watched us three times These houses are They're cluster homes So they're sitting right on top of each other

And the lady has a lawn That is no bigger than the size of a lawnmower Yet she has a lawnmower Just sitting out there Chris Come over real quick Your lawn's looking really nice This Betty

Thanks Thanks Thanks Have you ever heard of the skin care line, Starbeam? I've got some extra boxes at home, and I think you'd be really good at selling it. It's work and patience. Everything going good in school? Yeah, it's just busy homework and finals.

Have you ever said about dropping out of school to sell Starbeam skincare product? And how's your mom? She's working a lot. I know. It's tough. Can you tell her to return my rabbit? Yeah, and I'm retired. Yeah.

I'm retired. She's doing her best. Have you been watching Fox News lately? Your mom's an immigrant. Nice. It's coming to raid your house. Yeah. Well, I'm going to go, so I'll see you later.

Go on, sweet one. Sweet one. Sweet one. It's like sweet leaf, Ozzy? Yes. Oh, Chris? Oh. Have you ever thought about sleeping with women?

Because I grew up in the 60s and I could talk about it. Yeah. Kenny, meanwhile, is weirdly singing out. Singing a car across the street. watching her. White escalate. Yeah. Well, maybe he's trying to, like, she's the drug pusher for the high school. Remember, I'm just a phone call away.

I know. And Chris? And Chris. Come over any time, day or night. No matter what time it is. Okay. And Chris! And Chris! Chris! No matter what time it is.

Oh. The gardening woman looked at Kenny. Yeah. She looked at Kenny because she knows he's sitting. in there that's why she's got an intuition something's going on all right let's take our first break we'll be back with the rally la shop tcb podcast.com our merch window is now open if you can't support the show in that manner we certainly would appreciate it make sure you tag us on instagram at the commercial break with your merch gear on because we're going to give some additional merch to one or two merch on merch on merch on merch on merch on merch on merch just unlucky folks and remember you get a free sticker with every single purchase we'll be back

a TCB logo on a university sweater gets me hot in the pocket if you know what I mean. What do you say we finish our drinks? Go find a computer or go to shoptcbpodcast.com because I know they're selling some slinky gear but only until August 22nd. And hey, a little vibrating rabbit told me that you get a free TCB sticker with every single purchase. There's nothing slinkier than a body draped in commercial brake gear. Piggy fron indeed.

Hey, one more idea. When that gear gets dropped off at your front door, let's take everything else off. We'll put our smoking hot merch on. We'll take a picture and tag at the commercial break, because Daddy loves a free thing or two, and I hear they might give away some additional merch. Well, this is a game of ball in the pocket that I've been wanting to play all night long. Shop TCB Podcast.com, but only till August 22nd.

Now, do me a favor. Put your credit card down for the bar tab, because they don't take doge coin here. Then I'm a little short on the long scratch. Bye now. Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called The Sea Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett. What is up?

It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy. We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow the Sea Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett. Available now wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, and we're back with Kenny Copeland. Rally, L.A. He's sitting outside some young girl's house, and so far, all we've learned is that Eric Roberts

has a shipment of drugs coming in, and Kenny Copeland has now converted his son who's in the Angola State Penitentiary to the Word of the Lord. But now Kenny is creeping on some teenage girl, and we don't know why. Let's find out. Hey, Mom.

Smells good in here. Hey, baby. Hey. Did you need help with anything? She's not cooking anything. Yeah, she's not cooking anything. No, she's making chips and salsa. Look at that.

Smells good in here. Is that new salsa from Tostitos? Good. Okay. How was school? Is she just chopping? Yeah, she's just chopping. chopping some carrots. Like, that doesn't make a smell. How, how is school? Have any homework?

Yes. I have calculus. I have history favorite. And some other things. That's a lot of homework. That's a lot of homework, bitch. It's a lot of. It's okay. I can handle it. I can handle it. I'm OCD. Do you need my health? Nope. Are you sure? Yes, Mom. Good, because I can't do calculus. Yeah. Okay. because mommy's got to go sell drugs for your uncle. Do you work tonight? Yeah, I do. Mom, it's been like 10 days since you had a day off.

Honey, I know, but Mary is busy right now with a lot of other things, and I need to pick up the extra load right now. But it's not fair. But shut up, bitch. Chris, listen to me. This is what I have to do. Mary is the boss and could get a promotion. I can get a job.

I can help with the bills. The bills. What is a bill? I don't know. What is a bill? you're not getting a job. Do you hear me? You've got calculus.

Yes. And a history paper. You've got calculus. And Kim is waiting for you outside. Yes. And Mommy wants you to get on one of those dating apps. Stop being such a prude. That's why I have three jobs.

So you can go to school and get an education. That's what I want for you. Okay. Okay. Your education is the most important thing. That is true kids. That is true kids. The education is the most important thing, says the man.

Okay, okay. Now, please, get the mail. Yes. Get the man. Get the mail. She should have gotten it when she was walking in. I know, why didn't she get it when she came in? Well, because next door, nosy neighbor won't leave her alone.

Kenny's out there creeping on her. Yeah, she wanted to get in quick. I get it. Hey, listen, me too. Now get out there and get the mail. If Kenny's not trying to make himself known, he's sitting literally across the street, he could stay out. Yeah, he's the most. Oh, look at him.

Yeah, he's like, I love. Up on the steering wheel looking at her. I love teenagers. He had a driver before. Now he's driving himself. He killed the guy. He killed Rick Raydon. No, I don't know.

Mom? Yeah. It's going to be okay. You're my baby. Come here, baby. She was such a good girl. I love you. I love you. I'm such a good girl hard right now.

But they are going to get better and better and better and better. Okay. What's going to get better? Life, Chrissy. Life's going to get better and better and better. Okay. Oh, she's in her room studying now. Christina.

Chris. Listen to a little rap Hey Hey, are you listening to the devil's music? Mom, I'm not nine years old. I don't care, that's still too loud. I want to tell you about protection. Not much. I won't be up too late.

All right, well, I'm going to be leaving for work soon. You're going to be all right? Yes. I'll be okay. Don't worry. All right. Well, just make sure that you lock the doors before you go to bed, and if you need anything? I know, Miss Betty. She's next door. Did I just do it again?

Miss Betty. Yes, you have. All right. Well, I love you. I love you. Okay. Good job. You've done them all wrong.

I think we're watching the director's cut because a lot of this seems really unnecessary to the plot of the story. I thought she had to go to work. She's taking a nap? She did. She's going to take a drug. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, she's going to take lay down. Little nap.

Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness. Yeah, she's about to leave her work. Yeah, fuck work. Just five minutes. Just five. She's exhausted from cutting those carrots. It's been a long day of cutting carrots.

Those carrots that smells so good? Uh-oh. 445 now is... She slept for an hour. Uh-oh. Late. That feeling's the worst feeling. It is the worst feeling.

But my body doesn't let me do that anymore. I'd like some internal weird clock. That if I say I have to be up by something, My body will wake me up automatically. I hate it. Oh, it's not feeling well. It's probably all the drugs she's been taking. I just need a little drugs to get through.

Yep, yep, yep. She's digging in there. Oh, nothing like taking some night quill. Some zyrtec to keep you up. She's literally taking a pill from a box. Yeah, like an allergy pill. Yeah. Could be a heartburn medication.

Could be. That's the first thing I do if I'm late Hang out in the bathroom Yeah me too I hang out in the bathroom I take a Zyrtec Wait for it to kick in And then I know

I'm doing with my life I can get through the night if I've got a Zirtec But I stay away from Allegra That will fuck you up Oh fuck you up, Chrissy Uh-oh Two drug guys are in the diner. Now we're here at a diner, and two drug guys just walked in.

How do I know they're drug guys? Because they're wearing all black. Nothing like a whiteboard, too, in the background. I know. Cup of coffee. That's it? That's it? I didn't even say hello to you. You just said cup of coffee?

You? Same. A cup of coffee. Where's she at? She's in the back. Where's she at? Oh. Oh.

I'm going back there anyway. We're looking for some girl. Could it be the mother? Probably. That's what I think. I think the mother is selling drugs on the side. Now they go into the back of a dressing room. Yeah.

How did they go from a restaurant to the, to an Asian spa? How did that happen? That was weird. Hey, baby. How are you doing? I'm fine. Are you okay? I said I was fine.

That's not the mom. Oh, it's not the mom. It's one of the drug guys' girlfriends. No. What is it? It's the Lord. I haven't kept up with my Bible studies and I'm feeling shitty. Frankie, okay?

You know how he is? He's at it again. Frankie. No, hang on. I just... They're literally in a dressing room. Where can we go away? This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen

They were in a diner And now they're in a spa or a dressing room Yeah, it's lavender colored paint on the wall There's a dressing room Yeah I didn't know a diner was that big When I saw it in the back She's in the back with Frankie

You know how he gets Yeah You mean like on a vacation No I don't mean a vacation I mean some place permanent You know we can't leave It's not that easy This is my life

This is what I do I'm a drug I'm a drug guy, Chrissy. I can't just get out. All the drug things keep me here. Well, I don't like this life for us, Marcos, for working for him. It's okay. It's okay.

We can get through this. First of all, my name isn't Marcos. It's Tom. You don't see if I get you some time off. Time off. Yes, I'll ask the drug guy if I can have some time off from all the drug things. I've got some PTO. I have not used.

By law, he has to give me paternity leave. O'SHA. I just, I, I, I just, I, I feel like I'm losing it here. One day, when I walk in there, it's like a restaurant. When I walk back here, it's like a dressy room. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm in a diner one minute. I'm in an Asian spa giving hand shandies to Ricky.

Frankie. Yes, one day you're Marcos, the next day you're Todd. I can't even figure it out. Okay, it's okay. look i'll go in and i'll talk to frankie maybe that'll ease things up he's on dressing room number two yes let me go into the holiday in office he's gonna turn the corner and we're gonna be back at the elevator scene from the beginning yes going up by the way what's so bad about working in the diner i didn't know is that bad dressing room yeah oh oh we're in a warehouse

This is the never-ending building, yes. La Petit Cafe. What's up, Michael? What are these? Drugs? Because it looks like baking soda. By the way, now they're in a warehouse. There's a guy with a headphones on,

and he just picked up a bag of what clearly is not drugs, if you've ever done drugs. It kind of looked like one of those things that my housekeepers leave. When they leave, they do like a little rose with the toilet paper. A potpourri? No, no, a rose with the toilet paper? Oh, well, yours does that? Yeah.

Where's, what's it now at me up to? It's going to talk to her. Look, man. Look, production is low. Production's low, so I've been doing a lot of our own stash to keep it up. Why is it so low, Frankie? We're still waiting on a new shipment to come in. We don't just make one thing in here, man.

Come on, bro, you know things have been tight. A few ladies out sick. So they're not coming in. So few of the ladies are out sick, Chrissy. I told them to stay out. Call them. Call them now. Get them in here now.

I told April. In April, it's not to be told what to do. She's watching over this operation for me. So anything she says to you, I want you to treat it like I'm standing right in front of you. Hmm. You got that? Like I'm your theater director. What is this?

Theater. What are these bags, Frankie? It's my cafe. What are these bags full of white stuff? Is that drugs? Are we doing a drug operation with actual drugs? Frankie! I love that he's got a big gulp.

Uh-oh. He's taken a... Uh-oh. He's going to find the extra stash. It's just my jacket. What's this? What's this? Extra drugs in the drug house, Frankie.

Look at the fork, the plastic fork that's stuck. Yeah, that's stuck in the container. Also, look at the candles in the background lit up. I know, and the big gulp. None of it makes sense. Oh, this is awesome. One, two, three. Have you been learning how to count.

again, Frankie? Hidden drugs. He's stealing drugs. That's a lot. That's like way more than an able. Yeah, like... Those are like three ables. If you're going to steal from the drug kingpin,

steal like three. Not like 30. Well, it looks like you're taking a slice for yourself. Hell, Frankie. Are you cutting me? No, Marco. Really, I'm not. Are you cutting me?

Are you cutting me, Frankie? Are you cutting down the side? Are you using your... extra your own baking soda frankie well he's got to pay for those CVS head beats yeah the beat he's got those fake beats on

yeah who do you think's paying the candle bill around here my you made me mad Frankie you made me mad you made me mad uh oh as your kids would say

uh oh Frankie's 10% discount on diner sandwiches? Gone. You made me mad. And no more free use in the dressing rooms. Yeah. And no more use of the dressing rooms or the warehouse. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's what I do after I get busted. Taking drugs from the kingpin. Just go back to what I was doing. Yeah, no consequences. He's just made him mad. Yeah. By the way, look at where the fake beats are plugged in. Into the styrofo.

Into the styro. With the fork. Sting. Tune in, Tokyo. We should do away every day. Kenning's still, okay, we're back to the street. Kenning's still scoping things. Oh, he's walking to the door.

Oh, he's walking to the door of the young lady. Christina. I bet it's his granddaughter. What's that? I don't know. Did he even ring the door? Oh, okay. There we go.

Good job. He changed clothes. He did. He's got a checked. Suit on now. We should do wear every day. Oh, Chris, open the door. Oh, the mother. I thought she was going to work. I thought she was late for work. Too, too. It's me.

It's me. It's me. Papa! Papa! That's not how they say it, by the way. She was late for work. Yeah. An hour ago, but.

Well, Papa. is here Oh my gosh Sweetheart Do do Do do Do you I hope it's okay

See I wanted to tell you Kenny's eyes I know They crisscross And they're devilish He looks like a Cheshire cat I wanted to tell you

I'm out of the Dugs business now I can't believe It's you. It's been a long time. I've had a lot of Botox. A long time. Oh, I would say so.

20 years? 20. Hold on. Kenny was a young man. I'm bumping around that way. I realize that even 20 years is a long time, but you don't think you'd notice your dad after 20 years. Who are you?

Yes, can I help you? I also know that this is a big surprise for you. Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, I would say so. Now, if you excuse me, I've got to get back to my Clarencyon addiction. Sally, please. I've changed my way. Please, I got to take a hot shit.

Can I use your pretend toilet? Maybe you have to ask. some coffee for his old man. You haven't written? I haven't heard from you. A coffee. Could you come to my house and you want coffee? Okay, I'll take drugs if you've got drugs.

I am so sorry about that. I really apologize. My pen was broken and things just didn't work out. I was on drugs. I was on drugs. You have no. idea how I feel don't you come here to my house telling me you are sorry

I would like to make it up to you if I can if I can't Chrissy if I go Kenny's acting skills need a little work Chrissy if I can it's me Papa

Papa And it's been 20 years We can have a cup of coffee Yeah fine fine one glass of Sanka and then you're out I have five minutes

and one glass of water and I'm three hours late to work I was supposed to be there early then I took a nap woke up late now I'm still here I know I thought you was going to get a promotion at work or some shit okay see I would take it

I will take it. I will take it. Pei love you. I get in here. Kenny. That's a terrible picture of that girl. Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

Well, I mean, I'm sure it was taken two minutes ago. Yeah, this whole thing. It's a model home. Who has lights like that in there? No one. No one. She's beautiful Like our grandmother

Oh, now they're going to go into Coco Their abuela Thank you for you So what are you here on business? No No, I don't do business anymore Look at the fake clock, even that I mean all of this is model home

What time is it? Oh, it's still 1205 I just came to see you I just came to see you Oh It's been 20 years So might as well not be around the bush

I thought I had it figured out That you Sent me away to protect me And During that time I just convinced myself you love me And that's why you did it What?

say that's very true what you said exactly why what you said exactly what you said I'm a beautiful baby

I just been you passed away but not once you didn't send me a letter once well about that I have no idea How to raise

A little girl With my two hands Yeah, he's putting them together Like, why I'm running some water This is so strange I mean with a boy That's easy Yeah, my boy is in jail

So that was easy My boy, that was easy I put them in Angola State Penitentiary To save my own That was so easy. That was so easy. Girls, I had no idea.

Girls, they have vaginas. It's complicated machinery. I sent you to my sister. I know she was... Aunt Betty? Aunt Betty. And I believe she did. She became my mother.

She wrote me again and again. Asking to bring you to see you to see you. to bring you to see me? But I know respond. No, I know respond. No, I know respond. It's not okay. The Spanglish is so horrifically racist.

I mean, it's just so terrible. I was never afraid of nothing. But that is a double negative, so I was actually afraid of everything. I was never afraid of nothing. But Sally, bringing you into my kind of life that frightened me. Well. Well, I can understand. I consider you on this request.

But I just pushing my side. But now, those fears are gone. And you want to know why? The Word of the Lord. And I found out you were in L.A. And did I have a granddaughter? I would like very much. You mean his sister didn't tell him, keep him posted on what was happening?

Yeah, no. Listen, it's complicated. I also found out you're in L.A. Yeah, so I found out you were in L.A. And I decided to come down with my driver, who I killed moments ago, and changed my clinic. and changed my clothes. And it's still 12.05 on your clock.

So what? No wonder she's late for work. I know. I thought her job was important and she had to work because Mary was out of town or something. Three jobs. Three jobs.

It's now 8.15. She was supposed to be there. 4.45. And you're a shiny suit and you're a nice car and would you need to take us to the mall? Perimeter. What are you going to take us to the mall?

Mall, please. There's a sheen pop-up. I don't have any money. I bought these clothes. These chinoes. These cream chinos were the last thing up on. Sally, I know. I just walk into you.

I did not know. I had no idea What do we expect? By the way, I hear the same music When I'm getting a massage sometimes Oh yeah It's the slow Spanish harp I would just like

To make things right Please See See Papa You have to get going I've been trying to get to work for I'm one day late to work.

I was just here yesterday and four. Does no one hear of a cell phone and no one's calling them? Do you have a cell number? Oh, there we go. All right. Let me just think about this. I can call you from my home phone because I don't have a cell. Sure.

Sure, sure, sure. We can start there. Oh, there's the cell phone. Oh, it's an Apple 2. All right, let's take a break. Well, I'd like to say it's getting good, but it's definitely not. So we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-TCB. That's 212-4333822. Visit our website, TCBPodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube. com slash the commercial break.

And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. The new BMO ViPorter MasterCard is your ticket to more. More perks.

More points. More flights. More of all the things you want in a travel rewards card. And then some. Get your ticket to more with the new BMO V-I-Porter Mastercard and get up to $2,400 in value

in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply. Visit BMO.com slash V-I-Porter to learn more. All right, we're back watching the Rally L.A. It's TCB-Minesis. Thanks for joining us. Case you didn't know,

we didn't do this live because we had some issues. Not going to go through all that again. We're going to get right back into the movie. Let me get you up to speed just to give you like an idea of what we understand the movie to be about so far. Kenneth Copeland has a terrible accent.

Eric Roberts has a terrible accent. Some lady is three hours late to work. And the daughter is a fastidious student who is trying her best to be a good daughter. And Kenny just showed up after 20 years. Yes, just showed up to the mother. So there's a girl named Christina. She's a teenager in high school.

Her mom is Kenny Copeland's daughter. Long-lost daughter. Eric Roberts is Kenny Copeland's brother, who is a drug kingpin, who is getting ready for a big shipment. So here we go. L.A. is a cool city. I do got to say. Okay, now it's nighttime. Beep.

Oh, more drug guys, opening up a gate. I think this is the shipment, Chrissy, if I had to guess. Well, then a bug? Yeah In the world's smallest car, yes Oh, it's the three guys from earlier It's Marcos, Frankie Oh, Frankie, that's Frankie

The guy who is stealing the drugs Frankie's going to get his Oh, is Frankie going to get killed? Something, he's going to get tortured or something. Okay, now they're in a big garage And Frankie has to sit down on a metal chair Oh, oh, here comes Eric Roberts. It's time for some murdering.

It's nighttime. He's got his sunglasses on. Yes. His dockers. I love it. He's yacked out of his head, probably. I wonder what the actual drugs budget was. Probably a lot.

Yes. Oh, he pulls his sunglasses. That's down to look at him over it. This key is very, very simple. You have taken something that belongs to me. A huge bag of cornstarch. Faking soda. You know, I appreciate guys like you.

We have an entrepreneur vibe about you like Marcos here. I think vibe. He's got it. He's going to survive. And I have no air. So he is my heir apparent. Oh. He's learning the business.

He's grateful to learn the business. He's grateful to learn the business. He doesn't sound very scary. No. He's like, I wanted an heir, so I got on the heir apparent. He's learning the business. It's so much fun, Chrissy. Oh, my God.

And now I'm going to kill you by slicing off your penis, your little woo-woo. But not until he's in charge. Can you call her as own like everything else? Let me go. I promise I'll keep everything clean. Except for me, because I like drugs. Isn't that right, Marcos? Yes, sir.

Let me see. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, Marcos understands authority. Maybe he should have hold a gun on them earlier. Yeah, I agree. Oh, he's given it to a gun. Eric Roberts is given Marcos the gun.

Marcos is going to have to kill Frankie his friend. Your hands are dirty now, Marcos. Good night, young man. Good night, young man. Let's stop squabbling. That is not squabble about small things. I'm going to shoot your right testicle off. Marcus is going to chicken out

Of course he is Or is he going to kill him No he's a good guy He loves the Lord Yeah Is that PG-13 violence Oh He shot him in the head

He went straight for the head Wow Okay Kenny Copeland's How things are heating up Kenny's not afraid to have a movie With people who shoot each other in the head To get a point across

That the Lord loves you Oh Wait Hold on Okay All right The landscapers are there Miss Betty's next door

With the two-foot-by-two-foot lawn They're fixing the lawnmower There's some handyman fixing the lawnmower That was just mowing the two-foot-by-two-foot lawn And then there's another guy doing landscaping to the right there Wow, all right There's a lot of landscaping to be done in this little tiny yard Not unlike your landscapers that were here

Oh, there's another handyman They're all at the house Yes, it looks like they're getting ready to go do TCB live streaming They're at Brian's house Uh, ma'am, uh, names Joe As you can see, we're taking care of the lawn And lock on your front door

That's a huge group of people taking care of lawns and locks That's right, Chrissy, I got a guy on on the roof and two dudes and stalling cameras. Then I also left you about a million dollars in cash in the freezer. It's all from your, Papa! I've just been waiting for you to get home so I can fix the door. Okay.

All right, who sent you? All right, and exactly who are you? Yeah. I'd be like, get the fuck away from my house. Oh, gentlemen called Antonio Miguel Sarka. He wanted me to make sure I did his middle name. Antonio Miguel Saga. Antonio Miguel Santa.

Okay. Right. I see he's trying to buy my love by landscaping and handymaning me. That's right. He's hand-imanding me. He's handymaning my love. Well, Dad, you can handi-man me all you want. But me and my daughter are not going to be a part of your life.

Well, only be about another 20 minutes. Because they're your yard so small. Yeah. It's not going to take long. It'll only be about another 20 minutes because this is a model home and quite frankly, the walls are made of paper. I'm going to text you on my Samsung Generation 1 phone. Is this Miguel Santonio Santa? Hello?

Sarko. Hey. It's me, Sally. Sally. That was a weird. Hello. It's me. Sally.

And Kenny's in his pocket jacket. It's silk chrome. In his pajamas. I often wear. And plaid curtains. Yes. I often wear four layers to bed. Silk chrome.

You know. You know. You're just hanging. Just hanging with the kids. Oh, my. You're a polka-dux satin robe. I'm lucky if I put on your regular pajamas and then there's a t-shirt underneath. I'm lucky if I wear pajamas to bed.

I don't. I'd wear my boxers. If I get my boxers on, I'm good. How are you? I'm just here with my penis wangling. Oh, hello. Hello, hello, hello, Sally. Buenos deia, Sally.

Welcome to the main stage. I meant to tell you, your mom is not your real mom. She's actually your sister. and you, therefore, are not related to me. Some men came and mowed my lawn and fixed that front door of mine. Well, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Go on. Do you mind if we face talking?

I've got my robe on. Tell me more about your mowed lawn and your front door. I knew you'd seen it. I just wanted to do some things for you, but I think it would be better if I was not around. I just sent my handyman to mow your lawn. Oh, God. Do you want me to unclog your pipes?

Oh, God. Well, see, I wanted you to know that. I really appreciate it. And I actually do need the money, so if you wouldn't mind sending. This is ridiculous. She is in a nice. It's a nice model home, but it's a nice home. It's like a nice home. And she was so distraught over her lawn and front door. She's very grateful now. Yeah, she's very grateful over the $15 job.

Also, she told the daughter to lock the door. Be sure and lock the door. It seemed like nothing was wrong with the door. Well, remember the door was shaky when the daughter tried to open it? I was a little shaky. I guess there is a little continuity manager on set because I put two and two together there. My pleasure. Well, we can maybe get that coffee. I have no idea why this is not available on streaming. Oh, I can't imagine that Netflix wouldn't want to put this on.

It seems like a high. I don't call you. Okay, sweetheart. Okay, sweetheart. She's softened now. He's buying her love through the lawn and handyman. This is amazing. They're trying to make this big moral point.

He comes in. She says, you're not going to buy mine. love you know and he says i'm sorry i tried to i didn't want to raise daughter that he sends a handyman over to put a screw in the front door and she's like wow i guess we can get that coffee now all better all better sally grow a backbone thank god that screw is back in the front And my lawn has been...

Yeah, it's not like the house was getting foreclosed on. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It didn't seem like things were that bad. No, they're not. Of course. If this house is really in L.A., it's a million and a half dollar house. Yes, she's like...

Yes, she's like, yes. I could finally open the front door without a jiggle in the jiggle. Ooh. Who's this? I don't know. What? Is that a door for small people? It's a church.

It's a church door. It's like it's pointed at the top. It's strange. I know. I don't know if anybody's ever had like an upstairs, like attic door, like the tiny little door that's in open. That's what this is. Can I help you? I'm here to see San Diego, please. He's in his. He doesn't see people. I mean to see San Diego, please.

He doesn't see people. He doesn't see people unless they're naked. He's a freak. I am Antonio, Miguel. Is that like... I am Santiago Sarface. I am Amigo Matoia. You killed my father.

Prepare to die. Come in. Okay, come in. Okay, no problem. Great security. He doesn't see anyone. My name is Miguel, Enigo, Santiago, Antonio, Roberto Sarka. Okay, come on it.

Yeah, come on. You convince me. Come in. Plus you've got the suit. You can wait in there. You can wait in there. Just don't hit your head. Yeah.

Come in. Don't hit your head on this small door. Mine the... Mind the... Yes. Ring, bring. Bring. Your phone's ringing.

Thank you. This model home. So funny. I know. They're using it for all scenes, by the way. It's the same home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no doubt. Ding, ding, ding.

When I was a kid. Antonio! Ah, very. My brother. Break out the whiskey. I'm picturing Tom Hanks on the keyboard. I'm picturing Tom Hanks on the keyboard. Don't, don't, da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ta.

Oh, shit. That's a terrible manselled. Well, it brings you to Los Angeles. I came to see Saturday. Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Good. I'm not necessarily.

in a while but I have my guy looking out for her. I have my guy stares at her through the window on a casual we've got a ring doorbell in her closet so I go on the app on occasion she's growing up nicely

I must say you think of it a beautiful woman I don't get it up like I used to but I try into Harvard Harvard Harvard Excellent

Last I heard from you You're going overseas for a while You're my brother And last time I heard from you You were what Going to China or something I look after your daughter You were where

I don't remember what you said They look nothing to like to I went to the house in Greece Oh Greece They're supposed to be from Greece You should have been there You should have been there I was the only Mexican accent in person in all of Greece.

Oh, my God, I went to Greece. For the past 20 years. Who writes this garbly gook? Oh, my God. Oh, I know. Eric Rana. Rick Rana, excuse me. You want to drink. Hey, bring us a drink.

Freddie, get us some of that water down, Don Julio they've been talking about. The 50% of agave. Yeah, 50% I want only 50% agave. Only the finest for my brother. Where did you go? What was your name? So, big brother.

Where are you staying? Oh, the convention center. Yeah. The convention center. The convention center. We're filming this. Over the convention center. There's a tile conference in town.

You should stay here. There are plenty of room. Thank you, son. Plenty of room and unmarked bottles of booze. Thank you, but I've got terrible wind, and I like to whack off on my own. Good. It's gone. I'm fine.

Thank you, Teddy. Eric's looking suave with his glasses, long hair. What is it? You seem different, brother. I haven't seen you in 20 years. Well, let's see. Breath of the Lord, if you don't mind. I blew coronavirus away.

I don't know if you know, but... We haven't seen each other for a long time. That's my fault. I stayed in Greece. Yeah. We are busy men. But I have come to know, brother, that we have... We have. Can I do that over again?

No, okay, I have. Been busy. doing all of the wrong things. Do you remember when we were young boy? And we play war. And I would kick you in the nuts. And you would kick me back in the nuts. Well, turns out I can't get anybody pregnant.

So it's not actually my daughter. So I'm hoping you can take care of her. Well, I go to my tile thing over the conventions. I've brought hand-paid most. Jay Hicks. Yes. From Greece. I do all kinds of work.

Bathroom renovations. Handyman. Walk in tubs for older folks. You've seen the commercials on TV. I found the Lord. And now I do walk in tubs. Door to door. And the other.

Captain. Captain. And we lead our men into great battles. And we went great. Victories. Eric Roberts, the venerable actor, is probably like, why don't we just drop the axe? Can we just don't normally?

It's terrible. He's going in and out of accents, and I don't even know what they are, Italian, Greek, Mexican. But what do you think we were really doing? Masturbating, I'm not sure. We were trying to live on. His, Eric Robertson has got his watch,

like all the inside. Yeah. Our purpose, reason for being on this earth. Do you? Me? Now we're going to just meat potatoes of this. The tile convention and God. Tile Convention and God.

He's going to try and convert his brother to God. I build an empire. We have. Santee, I have given all of that. to follow Jesus Exactly Exactly The most honest line

Influence No more empire Bing I gave it all the way That's right I came it to chair After the handy man I took all my bloodstained

cash and I turned it into the Catholic church and they said, ah, we don't know nothing, we don't know nothing. The laundering the tiles. That's right. I'm laundering the tiles. So you're saying... Was that a thimble? Yeah, it was a thimble.

Yeah, a thimble of something. And I think it was real because of the way that he reacted to it. He's like, I need something. Yeah, he's like, oh, that's firewater. I need the other shot. Everything you had, you gave up. Nothing's left back home. Nothing.

Except for these million-dollar suit, my 1994 Taho. In the handyman. And the handyman that I sent to my daughter's, that's right. So you just gave it all. And my security guy that came in with me. Where is he? Yeah, in the two security guards, actually. Hey, he told him to wait here.

He's probably murdered. He's been murdered. It's a little confusing. Are you loco? You gave away everything you were for. gave all your status and you kept enough until you die to be with Jesus

Oh, you kept enough until you die Oh, you kept enough until you die Yeah, well, one man's trash is another man's treasure And sometimes You just got to keep a couple extra billion on the side Let me stash the billion Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And then I'm out

Elon Musk is going to be the first trillionaire Did you hear that? He's going to be the first trillionaire So just enough before you die. All I need is all you need. Are you crazy? You're loco. Do it's loco.

I made a choice. To follow Jesus. After the billions. That's right. After I made billions on dead people. God. I have never felt so much peace. in all of my life

he has truly blessed me he's given me his grace I got away with all the murdering and the robbing drug addiction prostitution like get out at the casinos I'm going straight I'm up that's right I am now in the

softcore pornography business and the tiles and the tiles I actually But they work together nicely. When you put it in a tub insert, you make a soft penis. That's right. It's a picture of a vagina with a soft penis. And then you stuff some drugs behind it.

You get it later if you need cash. It's a bank. All I want to do now is help people. There is so much we can do. You? Me? we can change this city Los Angeles

Los Angeles You know God said Holy moly Guacamole Oh my god He's pulling on his phone What? Oh it's a Bible

Before you That's not the full Bible That's the abbreviated version That's a tiny Bible That's a tiny Bible That's a clip notes It's a tiny Bible Cliff notes.

Yeah, it's the final Bible. Blessing. You got to get it in that tiny door. Yes. And the cursing. Therefore, you choose a life. I haven't heard one person curse. No.

Something you need to change what you are doing and start living for Jesus. Jeez, that's like a, I don't know, like a, what do they call that? That's like an. Robert's like skeptical. That's like an On the Border commercial. You need to change what you're doing and come to On the Border. Oh, Big Brother. I am not a spiritual man by any manch.

But I know that what I am doing is not pleasing to your God. I know that's a fact. I can just wake up tomorrow so serving Jesus. Yes. No. That's what I did. Hey, that's what I did. I made a pizza pie.

One day I'm a Mexican and the next day I'm a Italian. Then I become a Greek and now I'm an Argentinian. Look at it. I'm Venezuelan tomorrow. Hey. But I was just in Greece. That's all I can see. Hey.

Santi, he loves you. That's what I'm in too deep. And to be honest with you Who do you think is paying for these model homes? I have you control. I was paying for all that. I have people who respect me. People in this town can't make a move

without first, my okay. Do it. I am a supplier for that people. Do it. It starts with me. Do it with this. It ends with me. And I like that.

Do you want me to give that up? I don't think I'll be taking an offer, big brother. I have my own offering to give. Boom. I just take that. And by the way, I just lost my accent for like five minutes. This is great. And the Lord will either accept it or reject it.

I hear what you're saying. Yeah, and he just lost it there too. I hear what you're saying. He goes in and out of it. Yeah, he's even worse than Kenny, I think. I have a few things to do. for bed. Well, you think about it.

And if you need anything, you know you can call me, see? I mean, is that rosé? He's got, like, rosé. Yeah, it's not, yeah, it's something. Weird. If I need my pillowcase, change, I'll be sure to call your housekeeper at the hotel.

Good night. If I need my pillowcase, James. What? There is a curse on this city, and Jesus is ready to break that curse. And in my job... To break that curse. He'll do it. But it is done.

Oh, my God. What a notch, little bird. Look in this eye. Yeah, look at this eye. Now look at this eye. Now look in this eye. It's a lot to think about. Yeah, it's a stressful situation, Chrissy.

It is. How am I going to button this back up on my shirt? Yeah, now, where do I get one of those cool polka-dot silk robes? Yeah, whatever with that. He was, like, in the robe, and then he was in the suit and came over. He came over. It's all the big mishmosh hodgepodge. You know what I'm saying?

All right. Part one. Whoa. Wow. Yeah, we're about halfway to it. Friday afternoon here. Friday afternoon into the evening. Friday afternoon into the evening.

Here at the commercial break. All right. So part one is done. Stay tuned for part two. We will do our best to get that out. ASAP. We don't know when... We know you're waiting on baited breath.

Yeah, we know you're waiting on baited breath. But keep... Breathe. Yeah, breathe. Just breathe. We don't know when we're going to get the second part out. but thank you to everybody who has been writing in and calling in, texting in, emailing about the merch that you have already pre-ordered.

We certainly do appreciate it. If you haven't had a chance, shoptcbpodcast.com. That's shoptcbbpodcast.com. Hats, hoodies, t-shirts, university sweaters, and a free sticker with every purchase. We're really proud of this merch drop. If you can support us, great. If you can't, that's okay too. But I will tell you how you may be able to get a free piece of merch.

Two ways. Number one, if you have, once you get merch, wear it, or do something with it, take a picture, tag us. Wash your car with it. Yeah, wash your car with it. Wipe your ass with it, whatever. Tag us at the commercial break on Instagram. Invite us to be a collaborator. We will share that with other people.

And then we're going to pick a few people who have purchased our merch and send off some additional free merch. If you cannot afford merch for any reason, let me know. 212, 4333-3-T-CB. We've got a payment plan. Yeah, we've got a payment plan. Maybe we've got a sticker. Maybe we have an extra t-shirt laying around in an odd size or something like that. I don't want anybody to think that our love depends on whether or not you can purchase merch.

We've all been there. From one broke jokesters to the other, we know all about it. So just call us, text us, whatever. 21, 2.12-333-T-C.B. Okay. This will be available if YouTube does not copyright claim it. If no one in Kenny Copeland's camp copyright claims it, this will be available on YouTube ASAP. at YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

Also, you can go to our website, TCBPodcast.com, for all the audio, all the video, and always a free sticker. Go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address. A way it will go. And one more thing at the commercial break on Instagram.

Tag us in the aforementioned pictures. All right. Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say, bye-bye! Searchlight Pictures presents, The Roses, only in theaters, August 29th. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things comes The Roses, starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney. A hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred,

proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses, only in theaters, August 29th. Yeah, boy!