The Commercial Break - TCB's Endless Day #10: Tig Notaro

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

TCB Endless Day (11/12) - EP #767: Tig Notaro's Links: Follow Tig on Instagram Tig's Tour Dates Listen to the "Handsome" podcast It's Mental Health Awareness month. If you or anyone y...ou know needs help or is in crisis you can text HOME or HOLA to 741741 to reach a live volunteer Crisis Counselor. 24 hours a day. Don’t go through it alone! Watch EP #768 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/thecommercialbreak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@tcbpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tcbpodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CREDITS: Hosts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bryan Green⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ &⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Krissy Hoadley⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits / TCBits Music: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. On this episode of The Commercial Break, Tig Notaro once did a whole show based on one-chance encounter with singer Taylor Dane. It helped to further her career and solidify her as a stand-up great. She's publicly shared her struggles and successes both on and off stage.
Starting point is 00:00:55 She was once referred to as the heart of stand-up comedy by Bryan. Wow, Tig must have a big heart. She agreed to come on TCB. Or she just has empathy for Chrissy. And so do I. Tig Notaro is your penultimate guest on TCB's endless day. I'll be back next hour with Brian and Chrissy to wrap it all up.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Let's start Tig's episode now. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. And on this very long day, Chrissy Tignataro is here with us. Welcome Tig. Welcome Tig to the Commercial Break. Thank you. Thank you. Such an honor to have you here and I do not say that tongue in cheek.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I wanna start off by asking a serious question and we'll get to the funny shit later. I sense that your career, and I think you have said this, your career really kind of hits, and you put some gasoline in the tank, when you are at your most raw and vulnerable, and possibly maybe even you would consider the worst moments of your life,
Starting point is 00:02:01 the worst time of your life, 2012, Largo, you walk out there and bravely say, I'm Tignitar, I have cancer. And like overnight, and I saw that video and I was touched, confused, awestruck, bashoxed, I don't even know how you say it, I thought, wow, they really just went out there and let it all loose. Did you have any sense in that moment in 2012 standing there on stage at Largo that just being this vulnerable would lead
Starting point is 00:02:34 to such a connection with so many people? No, I had no idea. I mean, I really thought, I mean, just for some more context, I had been diagnosed with pneumonia and then an intestinal disease that is very deadly called C. diff. I had invasive cancer. My mother tripped, hit her head and died and my girlfriend and I split up and that was in a four month period of time. And, and I, yeah, I went on stage just feeling like I had lost everything in the world. And, and there was no part of me that thought this is going to be anything.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I didn't even think the people in the audience wanted to hear about it, much less, um, the life that it took on. Yeah. It went viral. A lot of people were blogging and tweeting about it. Yeah. And then it was released as an album and became the number one selling comedy album of the year.
Starting point is 00:03:43 And he nominated, am I right? Yeah, yeah. And, but yeah, there was not, I was just, I was just, I was stunned, I was very stunned. But I did, when I thought about it, I was like, wow, there are so many elements to my story that people can relate to, whether it's health and the loss of a parent or loved one,
Starting point is 00:04:10 so many, I mean, so many things. And- Sickness. Yeah. Feeling down, feeling- Breakups. Yeah. Romantic breakups.
Starting point is 00:04:18 So I was going through it all. And, but yeah, I didn't, I didn't know what to think. Can you, you know, as if you haven't given us enough, can you give us an idea of where you were mentally in that moment up there on stage? Was it, what did you say? Was this a moment of desperation where like, I've heard you say before another, let me preface this, I've heard you say before another podcast interviews and read that it's like, I've heard you say before another, let me preface this, I've heard you say before another podcast interviews and read that it's like, fuck it. If I say this out loud and then I die tomorrow,
Starting point is 00:04:52 well then at least I said it out loud and somebody somewhere may get something out of it. Was this like just a moment of pure desperation in your mind or where were you mentally? I'm curious. I think it's taken me a long time to really understand what was going on with me. I think that number one, I love standup and I wanted,
Starting point is 00:05:16 I had seen how quickly life can slip away with my own health and my mother dying. And because I was so sick, I just thought I don't know if I'll be able to perform again. I don't know if I'm going to be alive. I didn't know what was coming. So I wanted to perform again. And when I did perform, I thought, why can't do my regular observational comedy. That's not where my head is and it kind of cracked me open in a new way sharing so personally. I had never ever done that before and yeah I think I just felt like I had almost lost everything in life so why why not just, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:05 go for it? Yeah, just see what happens, because it already looked pretty bleak, so it's like, if I have a bad show, I mean, I have worse things going on. That was a form of therapy to- Yeah, yeah, I think there was a part of me that was kind of reaching out for help and support,
Starting point is 00:06:23 because even though I have incredible friends and family that were surrounding me, it was still, I needed help, I needed support. I think all the time about people that don't have the support that I had. It's really, after I went on tour, or I went on tour after I was in remission, and I stood and talked to everybody that wanted to talk after the show, because I was like, man, you guys listened to what I went through, and people lined up sharing their stories
Starting point is 00:07:07 and their appreciation. And I'd never really done that before either after a show, after a tour or after any performances, like really sat there and connected with people for hours. Is that, that was a real, I bet, sense of catharsis in a lot of ways. I think sometimes, I know this is kind of the sick twisted mind of us as human beings, but I think sometimes in ways when we're able to connect with other people's pain, it allows
Starting point is 00:07:36 us to vent our own, dull our own, but then say, you know what, it's not as fucking bad as I'm making it out to be in my own head because this person, or just like the simple connection that it, I feel bad, they feel bad, we're kind of in this together. Did you, did you seek, and I'm sure you did. I mean, I can almost answer this, I'm sure you did. Did you seek therapy during this period of time? Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:08:02 And I imagine that was helpful, because the cancer alone, it's like you're facing the empty chamber of a gun, you're staring it down at all times, you just don't know what's coming next, and that's gotta be really scary. For sure, and you know, that's what was crazy about that time period was,
Starting point is 00:08:22 cancer is such a obviously well-known disease but C. diff isn't as known and it actually ended up killing my stepfather 10 years later. And I was really suffering with that disease and I remember before I was diagnosed, I remember telling people, God, if only I had cancer, people would understand that I'm struggling. And then meanwhile, I had no idea I had invasive cancer. And I found that out like, you know, a month later.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Two months later. What is C. diff? Can you explain to the audience for those who don't know? Yeah, C. diff is a bacteria that's in your gut and it's totally supposed to be there and works with all the other bacteria in your gut. But if you, well, I got it from taking antibiotics because I had pneumonia and the antibiotics,
Starting point is 00:09:23 I had a adverse response and it cleared out all of the bacteria in my gut, but it leaves C. diff alone to thrive and it just like eats your insides and you just, you can't eat, you can't, it's so debilitating and it's a super bug. You know when you see on, what is it, the hand sanitizer that it kills 99.9% of germs.
Starting point is 00:09:51 The.9 is C. diff? It's C. diff. It's so hard to kill. It's so hard to manage. How long did you struggle with this for? Like is this a long illness that takes a long, I imagine, because it's in your gut and you can't get rid of it?
Starting point is 00:10:07 Well, there's different levels of severity. I mean, I was hospitalized. I think it was, I don't even remember how long I was hospitalized. It was maybe a week or something. Some people have it and they're just quarantined at their house. They thought they were gonna have to remove a chunk of my intestines. But after I finally turned things around, I still had a lot of pain and symptoms and struggled a lot with eating. I had sharp stabbing pains. I would just be, my wife Stephanie,
Starting point is 00:10:50 when we first were dating, she thought I was doing a bit because I would be talking to her and I'd be like, oh, God! Yeah, and she'd be like, what was that? Yeah, and I'd be like, oh, sorry. I mean, it was truly like I was being stabbed in the gut. Periodically.
Starting point is 00:11:06 You're like random orgasm. I'm sorry, it happens to me all the time. Yes. But yeah, I would say it took about a year for the severity of it to go away. That is intense. And then diagnosed with breast cancer, your mom dies, the breast cancer, which is a diagnosis that so many women each year
Starting point is 00:11:30 will receive, you know, cancer. Yeah, Chrissy. I just lost my sister to breast cancer. Oh, I am so sorry. She had a double mastectomy and everything. They thought they had it and about a year and a half later, so end of 2023, she was having sharp pains actually in her stomach and they went to the doctor, did some tests,
Starting point is 00:11:52 did some scans and found out that it had metastasized somehow from the breast and now she had liver cancer and moved to her spine and we lost her four weeks later. I'm so sorry. It happened super quick and thank you. And just to talk about therapy, I had to go through a lot of therapy after that. It was so shocking. She was 43 and a best friend with two small boys. I am so sorry. The speed at which the cancer took Kelly,
Starting point is 00:12:23 if I can speak from where I was sitting as Chrissy's best friend for decades, was intense. It was hard to believe. You couldn't wrap your head around it. No, no, no. Everything will be okay. It'll be fine. People don't die in a week. That doesn't happen, but that's what happened. Yeah, we got her out to MD Anderson even thinking that, you know, that somebody can do something. And when they called, they said, there's nothing we can do. I mean, her husband called and said, there's nothing that they can do. You've got to get out here now.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Oh, my gosh. And to watch her to go through the double mastectomy. Yeah, right there with her, saw the whole thing helped to recover from it. And for them to think that it was gone. And that, you know, then- That is a nightmare. ... we're prepared, yeah. Yeah. But therapy has done a lot.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Professional therapy really has been a lifesaver for me because it was like I couldn't put that on my friends and the family that I had last. My mom also passed suddenly in 2020. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so it was just all very shocking and I know that therapy has really helped me. And the podcast, which, you know, we had just started in 2020. And being able to, having to get up and go do that and, you know, come here to the studio and record and laugh, really. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Stupid things helped. And I know that that had to have helped you too to be able to get up on stage and have that purpose and that connection with those people. So thank you for that. Oh my gosh, absolutely. I mean, I'm kind of doing it selfishly and thankfully it is helpful to others. But I am a firm believer in therapy and I'm still in it. I've been in therapy on and off since I was 18 and I feel, yeah, I feel very thankful for that outlet. it. Yes. Yeah, I think that for those who wonder, there is no weakness in needing an objective ear
Starting point is 00:14:31 because I think we are all at times crying. Listen, life can be really difficult and it can be really shitty and we're all crying out in our own ways at times. And sometimes, I mean, this, I'm going to oversimplify this, but I think that's important to get it down to its base nature is that sometimes you just need somebody who's not in the middle of the storm objectively. So that if anything, you can just shout into the void and have someone shout back at you that I'm here and I hear you. I can't fix it, but I hear what you're saying or give give you the tools to kind of help work through it. Your brand of humor has largely, for me at least,
Starting point is 00:15:13 watching you over the last decade, has largely become this kind of stage catharsis. You're very raw, you're very open, you're telling your stories, you're a fantastic storyteller with such dry wit. Sometimes it's the things you don't say, Tig. TIG There's a lot I don't say. There's a lot.
Starting point is 00:15:36 TIG Sometimes it's when you're not talking, Tig, that I laugh the hardest. TIG Yeah, yeah. TIG I'd like you to know that. TIG I'm well aware that some of my funniest moments are my quietest. The timing. There's a musicality to it. Do you know that? I mean, you must know that, that there's a beat, a rhythm to what's going on up there
Starting point is 00:15:55 with you. Yeah. I mean, a lot of comedians are musicians or want to be musicians and the same in reverse, you know. You play piano. Yes, I do. But I do play a little bit of drums and guitar and, you know, but I do get asked if, you know, how are people will ask how do I decide when to pause or hold on things and it's not that calculated.
Starting point is 00:16:29 It is a rhythm within me and I might tell the story differently if I'm sitting around having coffee with somebody but when I'm on stage there is this rhythm that runs through me and that's how I deliver it. I'm not thinking at all, like, oh, hold three seconds here, or, you know. Not at all. But there's- I'm sure that's an exchange with the crowd also,
Starting point is 00:16:54 is it largely depends on- For sure. How you're feeling with the crowd. It's a back and forth, much like musicians will talk about. I'll keep that guitar solo going an extra eight measures if I see that the crowd is enjoying what's going on and did quickly if not. Yeah, absolutely. One of the things that I have found the funniest that you have done is your Taylor Dane story.
Starting point is 00:17:18 I know you probably get this a lot, but this American life where Taylor comes out at the end. I've only seen this on YouTube, so I don't really know. Did you know she was coming out? Because part of me thinks you knew, and then part of me thinks you didn't know. Well, wouldn't you like to know? I would like to know. I know Ira doesn't want you to say.
Starting point is 00:17:40 They actually just re-aired that. Oh, they did? Yeah, this last weekend. Oh, on PBS? On This American Life. On PR, I'm sorry. They just, yeah, that just re-aired. It's a great story. Well, you can tell me off air, but I may never know.
Starting point is 00:17:57 I don't know, but when I watch it. I would say you'll never know. I can confirm right now, you'll never know. It's one of the great moments in comedy is when Ira Glass says, and now ladies and gentlemen, Taylor Dane after you tell the story. And for those of you who don't know the story, go watch it on YouTube. And I'm not going to try and retell the joke because it's hers and she does it so much better. But multiple run ins with Taylor Dane and you tell that story to great, to great effect. And I think that story is like, when you tell that,
Starting point is 00:18:28 it is, I don't know, it's a prime example of where you are best is being your observational kind of pregnant pause here, you know, little nod to the crowd there. And it's so funny, what did you find funny as a kid growing up? Where did you get this kind of sense of humor? What was funny to you? What's the first thing you remember being funny as a kid? I mean, I was definitely a class clown and I was all, I mean, I liked so many different kinds of comedy and whether I was chiming in and saying something weird or I really liked the kind of, you know, long game of seeing a bit
Starting point is 00:19:21 play out. Yeah. I remember an art class when I was in like seventh grade, way too old to be doing this. The art tables were round and that was, you know, I don't know, eight kids at each table or something, six kids at each table. And we were doing some project with yarn and you know how art class is kind
Starting point is 00:19:45 of chaotic and a little different vibe. Yeah, it's not very structured. Yeah. So I went underneath the table because nobody noticed anything and I took a huge string of yarn and I wove it in between the other students' shoe laces and i tied all of their shoe laces together underneath the table so that kind of long game like plant a seed and wait and see how that plays out that kind of thing. She was very funny and she was a very big personality, really, really known for being funny and wild. And then my stepfather was very, just very contained. And you know, just such, but he was all-
Starting point is 00:20:39 That's kind of my parents. That was your parents? Yeah, my mom was the wild one, the wildest lazy one, and my dad was very conservative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was funny Yeah, my mom was the wild one, the wildest, crazy one, and my dad was very conservative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was funny too, my stepfather. He was very dry. Yeah. So I think I got a good mix of the two of them. Yeah, my mom was, I think Chrissy and I imagine sometimes we have the same parents as best
Starting point is 00:21:01 friends because my mom was this Midwestern loud mouth, cigarette smoking on the phone until four o'clock in the morning. Always good with a story, the story never the same twice. Always with a punch line, always funny. But my dad was extraordinarily reserved and never gave a hug or a proud of you. But he would drop a bomb and leave the room. He was that kind of jokester where someone would be talking about something
Starting point is 00:21:29 and he'd throw a hand grenade in the middle. Everyone would laugh and he'd be out the room, right? It was like, he was one and done kind of guy. And I can see how you're telling the story now about your mom and your stepdad. You're like a mix of these two personalities. Yeah, for sure. You have this reservedness, but then there are moments
Starting point is 00:21:47 when there seems to be some absurdity that comes out. Who are some of the, I always like to ask this of comics who are, I mean, really good, have been doing this for a long time and are really recognized. Who are some of the comics that you enjoy watching now? Now? Now, in 2025. Who feels funny to you? I love Maria Bamford.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Okay, yeah. Yeah, she is just... I just think she's extraordinary. I really like this guy John Doar. He is, talk about silly, he is real silly. I don't even know actually if we were talking about silly, but he's out of Canada. And then Aparna Nanchurla. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think she's incredible. My old roommate, Chris Fairbanks, he is so painfully funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:53 So. Where do you live? Where in the world are you living? You're living out in LA? Yeah, I live in LA. You live in LA. Do you still get a chance to go, like I know you're probably working on comedy
Starting point is 00:23:05 all the time, right? That's your thing. That's your gig. Where do you go when you want to work out that set? Do you stay local and do you just go out there and hit up, say, hey, I want to come in and do 30 minutes or I want to come in and do 15 minutes or? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:18 I've kind of, I'm not really that kind of comedian anymore. I was just in Toronto filming this new Star Trek series that I'm on. And when I had nights off, I would go out to the club, the comedy bar a couple of times a week. Mainly because I was in Toronto and was away from my family. And so I thought, well, I should just work on my new material when I'm free. But when I'm in LA, I have regular shows at Largo or a place called Dynasty Typewriter. And I'll go in and do, like just last night, I was at Dynasty doing an hour and a half. Like I won't bring an opening act and I'll just go on stage for an hour and a half and Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Workout stuff. But you know, I think after getting married and having kids, that's, my preference is to be home with my family. And so I'm not as out in the clubs as a lot of comedians. out in the clubs is a lot of comedians. But when I do go out and work on material, I'll take about an hour and a half to do that. And it's usually maybe two or three times a month, I do that. That's incredible. Well, first of all, you probably have earned the right,
Starting point is 00:24:40 I mean, you know, you've got a family and all that, but then you've earned the right to get up there and do an hour and a half. That's, you've carved your own path, but at 90 minutes standing up there, you know, cutting your teeth on new materials. That's very scary. I mean, to me, for us, yeah. I enjoy the comfort. We can hide behind the microphones. Yeah, we can hide behind the microphones here at a commercial break. I'd love to go to stand up, but I also have three children and a wife, and I'm a little bit longer in the tooth than a lot of the people out there that are doing it. And I just don't think I might would, I know my wife wouldn't stomach the travel,
Starting point is 00:25:12 but I don't think I could stomach the being away from my kids for that long, or I'd really start to enjoy it. And that'd be the problem is like, I'd start to enjoy being away from it. It's nice to be away from the kids with room service. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I, before I had a family, I was just totally fine bouncing around town to town, city to city. And now it feels so weird to be gone for too long. And I remember somebody telling me before I was married and had kids were like oh you know these are my favorite people this is who I want to be around it like about his family like interesting those your favorite people huh. And that's like boom I got married and I have yeah and I'm like these are my favorite people This is who I want to spend my time with. And it sounds, you know, I don't know if it means, I'm sure some comedians would be like, well, then you're not a real comedian. But it's like, I've been doing this almost 30 years. I used to tour till I was, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:19 Blew in the face. Yeah. Fell flat on your ass. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'm still doing shows shows and aside from local gigs that I do when there's a, I haven't toured in the past year and a half, but when, for the, like a proper tour. But if a gig that looks good comes in, then I'll take it here and there, but I'm not actively trying to tour right now because I really just want some time off and I'm enjoying being home. You know, the funny thing that you talk about,
Starting point is 00:26:50 like these are my favorite people. I have brothers, you know, brothers in their older, they may or may not ever give my kids cousins and hopefully they do, but they probably won't, but they come over and I see their general irritation with the children, like they last 30 minutes. 30 minutes being good uncles and then they get irritated. They want to watch the football or the golf or whatever.
Starting point is 00:27:12 And then they egg me to come out for drinks and I'll go out and I don't drink anymore, but I sit there and then I kind of get itchy and I want to go home and they're like, ah, come on man, we're going to go to the next place. And I'm like, you know what? I really want to be home with my family. And I know it's so hard for you to see,
Starting point is 00:27:28 all you see is three little, you know, 15 little nightmares running around and irritation. But to me, that is what feels to me like love. That's what feels, that's what takes me away from the stress, makes me feel good. That's my therapy is when I can throw my kids in the air or, you know, give them a hug, put them to bed, give them a shower.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Those are the type of things that make me feel like I have purpose and drive and love. Absolutely. I mean, my favorite time of the day is, I mean, Stephanie and I talk about this all the time. Like, I love every night, you know, after Max and Finn finish eating and playing and whatever, they go take a shower.
Starting point is 00:28:11 And then they discovered the show Friends when we were on vacation, when they were five. And so we would let them watch when we were on vacation. They could watch that, even though they didn't really get half the jokes, the laugh track would kick in, they'd die laughing. And then after this last Christmas break, friends followed us home. And we now have it as part of our routine that after they finish their showers, we get out popcorn and we all watch an episode of Friends together.
Starting point is 00:28:52 This is every night before bed. And then we go upstairs and then we have reading time as a family. And we read for like 15, 20 minutes and then we all discuss what we just read. And then they go to bed. And that part of the day is hands down my favorite time. And it's like, why would I not wanna be doing that and be hanging out in a bar? Or in a club, like I just, I like to go in, if I have material that I wanna work on or I wanna do,
Starting point is 00:29:22 I wanna go in and do it, and then I wanna go home. I'd rather just see comedians that I'm friends with for lunch or something. Yeah, I know you just turned 28 again, but do you, like me, do you find that being an older parent, I think I realize more that these moments are fleeting and that I need to, I need to be in the moment, soak them in
Starting point is 00:29:48 and be aware of what's going on. Like every, I want to eat every moment up because like you, we have our routine. We play tickle monster. My youngest calls it ischal monster. I don't know why she calls it ischal monster, but she does. And we run and scream and as you know,
Starting point is 00:30:01 people are banging their heads and sometimes they're stripped to hospitals. But those are the moments that we But those are the moments that we, those are the moments that we, and I have insurance, might as well use it. Those are the moments that I just, I'm so lost in a sea of this is incredible and every moment I want to enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:30:17 I think if I was 22 years old, defects may have my children if I'm 22 years old and had kids a little bit older. And so I have this appreciation that I'm 22 years old and had kids a little bit older. And so I have this appreciation that I don't think I would have had, had I had children younger. Do you get that sense? Is that somewhere in your head? Oh, it's everywhere in my head. I'm just like, and not just that. Yes, there's positive and negative of being 54 with two eight year olds. But I feel like, you know how you see when parents turn into grandparents, they become more chill and relaxed And I feel like I got to be a parent at grandparent age.
Starting point is 00:31:17 And I also am so thankful that Stephanie is my partner because she is so phenomenal. She is such a great mother and she really, the decisions that she makes and the ideas that she has, I'm like, wow, I would have done that all wrong. I would have done that all wrong. Yeah, you two look like you make a great team. Yeah, I'm like, I am the luckiest person that you could possibly, the luckiest unlucky person, I like to say. Everything you've said resonates so much with me.
Starting point is 00:31:46 First of all, it's heartwarming. Second of all, it all resonates with me because with my wife, it all falls apart. Then I am just the tickle monster of raising my children on Doritos and skipping school every third day because I can't wake up on time to take them. Second of all, yeah, I think older,
Starting point is 00:32:02 like I told my dad one time, I remember having this like touching conversation with my father probably about two decades ago. We had a complicated relationship like a lot of sons and fathers and daughters and fathers quite frankly and parents and children have, right? Complicated relationships with weird things that happened and misinterpretations and miscommunications. He comes from a different generation and he wasn't the most loving and I was creative and I don't think he understood that.
Starting point is 00:32:28 And I, like you, had a hard time in school so I decided that wasn't my thing. He didn't appreciate that. And I remember having this conversation in my 30s with him where I started talking to him in a car and for some reason I just felt the need to say to my dad, I want you to know that I love you for everything you are and everything you're not.
Starting point is 00:32:50 And that, and I'm gonna, this is gonna give me chills. This is gonna make me upset. I'm teary eyed. And he had to pull over the car because he also got teary eyed and said, I made so many mistakes and I'm so proud of who you became. It was like the first time I'd ever heard my father say that. Wow.
Starting point is 00:33:06 And you can't, you can't anticipate that your children aren't going to feel the same way, but you can hope that you do it a little bit differently and better. But one of the greatest joys of my entire life is watching my father be a grandparent to my kids because he is the father that, he is the father that I never had with my kids. And I, that's just incredible to watch that he, he gets it, he got it, he gets it. Right. And so in being older, I think now I have softened, the edges have softened and now I get to try and hopefully be that father to my kids that I never had. But then they also have their grandfather that is being the father that I never had
Starting point is 00:33:52 either, and that's just amazing to me. Did your parents get to see, I know your mother died right before Largo. Was there any, did you feel like your mom was proud of you? Did you feel like- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you had a great deal of support. Yeah, she thought, my mother was an artist and she was, like I said, so funny and like life of the party kind of person and my stepfather was not, wasn't any of those things. father was not. It wasn't any of those things. But I am very thankful for what he contributed to my life, even though it was really right. He was in my life since I was two, he was just so rigid and buttoned up and my mother was really my biggest cheerleader.
Starting point is 00:34:52 And I had a similar experience when my mother died. I was, we had buried her in Mississippi and we were driving away. My stepfather and I were driving away and he said, you know, I owe you an apology. And I was like, oh, for what? And he said, for when I told you that your career was a waste of your time and your intelligence. your career was a waste of your time and your intelligence. And I said, Oh, um, you know, I was first of all surprised that he, I was devastated when he told me that because I failed three grades. I dropped out of high school and, um, and I, I was proud of myself because I had made a life for myself in comedy and I was probably more successful making more money than most people that I knew that went off to college. Even though I was just of me and thought I had found this loophole. But he told me he thought it was a waste of my time and intelligence. And so
Starting point is 00:36:19 when he apologized for that, I was so surprised. And he got choked up, which I had never seen before either. And he said, I had projected onto you the idea of what, and this is coming from, I mean, truly the most robotic man. And he was, he was crying and I was sitting there thinking, how is my mother missing this? Like, we've buried her, we're driving away. But I still think, like, if my mother, you know, knew that that happened, she would feel like it doesn't matter when it happened, just the fact that it happened is wonderful. And he said, you know, I I had projected all these ideas of what you
Starting point is 00:37:06 were supposed to do the path you were supposed to take and it didn't line up with the map that I was looking at and he said and I realize now that it is not the child's responsibility to teach their parent who they are it is the parent's responsibility to teach their parent who they are. It is the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is. And I did not do that and I am sorry. And I was like. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Oh my God, I was stunned. I was absolutely stunned. I have such chills right now because that's like a life lesson that I think every parent needs to hear. I mean, truly. And that's how I try to see my children is like, who are you? Who are we unwrapping here? Because I really, really want to support and nurture whoever these little guys are. And what was really amazing is similarly to you, when I
Starting point is 00:38:08 became a mother, I saw a side of my stepfather. I mean, he went shopping for them, for clothing, for toys. When they were newborns, you could give him any list and he was out the door. He and my brother were out diaper shopping and getting bottles and formula. And I would see him on the floor with a fire helmet on playing with my kids and I was like, wow, I did not get this. I did not get this version. But it's such a joy. And there's this painting that somebody made of Max and Finn hugging each other. And I gave it to him. And when I went to visit him, one of the last times that I saw him, and I walked in his house, and that's the first thing you see when you
Starting point is 00:39:02 walk in his door is this painting of Max and Finn. Oh, that just touches me. Yeah, I didn't expect this conversation to get so emotional. I mean, I knew I was excited, but I didn't know I was going to have a tear in my eye. Yeah, it's something about having another life form. And I imagine it like a lotus flower that just kind of unfolds, right? You're watching these personalities and these human beings develop. And I'm just here to
Starting point is 00:39:28 make sure that the flower gets watered. It's got good soil and it gets watered and it's got a roof over its head during a stormy day. And then let it unfold because, you know, the universe is a funny bitch, right? And she has a funny way of playing around with us. And I imagine that my kids are gonna give me just as much trouble as I gave my parents. And that's just the way it is. Yeah. But I'm here for it because that is what life is all about.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And I want them also to know, they kind of wrapping this back into mental health, I also want them to know that good, bad, or indifferent, which is not what I sometimes felt with my own parents or my own dad especially, good, bad, or indifferent, my love is not conditional. It is not conditional upon who you love or who you date or what you do or how you style your hair
Starting point is 00:40:23 or whether you wear a dress or shoes or pants. I don't give a shit about any of that. My personal choice might be different, but it doesn't matter because that's your personal choice and I love you unconditionally. Right? And that's huge. And I think a lot of us, especially of our age,
Starting point is 00:40:40 we did not get that because our parents grew up with parents that were so much different. They were almost like, you know, apes out in the woods, out in the jungle, you know, they threw them to the wolves and just let them, you know, just God bless you. And, you know, like almost like little soldiers stamping them out and getting them to school and making sure that they didn't do anything wrong. And there was no limit to the punishments and all that other stuff. But we've learned. And so, you know, I know a lot of us suffer some form of PTSD from the way that we grew up or from the parenting or
Starting point is 00:41:12 lack thereof. And so, it's important to, you know, reconcile with that at some point so that you can be a better parent or human moving forward. Do you get like a vulnerability hangover sometimes? From being out on stage and telling your life story and I mean I think I'm just raw. I think I'm in a place where I'm finding a balance in my comedy because after or before 2012 I wasn't vulnerable really. I was pretty much mainly observational. And then I of course had that- Took a left turn at Albuquerque. Yeah, yes I did.
Starting point is 00:41:54 And then I realized like there is, you know, I do love silliness and I love observational comedy and I love sharing intense stories about myself but I really have decided I'm going to share what feels right, when it feels right. I'm not going to give the audience what they want because I realize what they want is what I want. You know, I have to be happy. I have to be up there wanting to really tell these stories and jokes because that was kind of a fear of mine
Starting point is 00:42:30 after my album, it's called Live. And after that came out, I remember I was backstage in Iowa City, it was my first time to perform on the road after that album and after I was healthy again. And I was standing backstage going, oh man, I'm going to let this audience down. They're all here. It's a sold out theater. My turnout had bumped up to where I was now doing theaters.
Starting point is 00:43:01 And I just thought, I don't have any bad news to tell them. I just, you know, what if they only know me for having cancer and all of that stuff and I walked out. Tight cast in a way. Yeah. But I just thought, well, I just have to go out and do what I want to do and hopefully they'll follow. And they were incredible. And it was such a fun show and I will always be so thankful to Iowa City because I really thought this was where I was gonna
Starting point is 00:43:35 kind of slip off, you know, because I wasn't gonna give them what they wanted. And that's what I really realized. Like, they just, they want me, want me. If they're a fan, they want me. And this is where I am right now. I don't have cancer. I'm happy and I'm healthy and I have other things to talk about. So, yeah, so I'm just finding that balance of what I'm sharing. You know the comic Neil Brennan?
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yeah. Yeah, so we had him on one time and I think he said something very similar. He said, I did depressed. I did that for a while, but that's not me. And, you know, now I've turned a corner. I have something else to say. Katie Fahey Yeah. Jared Sussman Yeah, but if you, if people love you for you and they want to see your evolution. Katie Fahey Right. I remember years ago, a friend of mine, a comedian telling me that she noticed that this one stand-up had really painted himself into a corner because of his, I don't know, whatever his stage persona was,
Starting point is 00:44:36 his shtick, all of that. And she was just like, just make sure you don't paint yourself into a corner, that you're trying new things. If you want to do something new as a comedian, do it. If you want to try writing or acting or directing, just try everything. And I never thought about that for myself. I just thought, I'm just a comedian. I'm going to tell jokes.
Starting point is 00:45:00 And I'm so thankful that she said that because I would have painted myself into a corner. I would have been like, no, I'm not those things. This is what I do. And it would have been a bummer. Two things. Number one, you said something and I forget where it was because I've been headlong in TIG for a couple of weeks, but you said something that you got fired
Starting point is 00:45:23 from one of your first jobs as like a comedy club host, like a host, you know, you got a week long gig and you went out there and you bombed the first set and they said, hey, thanks anyway, but we're letting you go. The emergency comedian, was that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, emergency fill in comedian. Emergency fill in comedian. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:40 But then you walked outside and a friend of yours was pulling up and she said, they don't get you and they get me, but you're gonna thank your lucky stars that they don't get you. You're gonna find the people who get you, right? Well, you found the people that get you, Tuck. And I think they're along for the ride.
Starting point is 00:45:56 They're not here for the one note wonder. But this brings up an interesting because you're not just a comedian, you're also very much – my wife who's Venezuelan has no idea who you are and I have enjoyed your comedy for a long time. And so I got so excited when I saw you pop up on the morning show with Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston and I was like, that's Tig, that's Tig.
Starting point is 00:46:22 And she's like, oh wow, that's Tig. And I'm like, that's Tig, that's Tig. And she's like, oh, wow, that's Tig. And I'm like, that's Tig. Why, are you, is there, were you so excited to be a part of that project? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, what's up? No, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say, I had,
Starting point is 00:46:39 I've been friends with, I mean, all of them actually, John Hamm before he was ever John Hamm. And he's so funny. He's so funny. He's so talented. And Jen and Reese and I remember Jen had told me, I think first season that there was some role that they were going to use me for and I was so excited and then it didn't pan out and I was like, oh well. And then sure enough, they did bring me in and then I'll be actually back this season too.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Oh, that's great. But when we were going on the awards tour of you have to do all like the Q&A for the Emmys and Globes and all that kind of stuff. And I would be asked all the time, is it so nerve wracking to be on set with these huge actors? I'm like, actually, no. They're all old friends of mine, and it should be an intimidating job to have,
Starting point is 00:47:44 but I'm more intimidated. Like I had a recurring role on Sex Lives of College Girls, the HBO series this last season. And I was uncomfortable because I didn't know anybody there and I always feel like an imposter because I don't really identify as an actor. But like put me on the morning show, really identify as an actor, but like put me on the morning show. Reese, Jen, Jon Hamm, that's nothing. Every A-list star in town is on that show and Tig is like, I'm good. I just happen to know them all from different things. I'm like, this is awesome. This is so fun. That's with all the rice.
Starting point is 00:48:20 I saw a wild reel this morning, or was it yesterday, Jon Hamm on some cheesy 90s dating show with like long surfer hair. And he was like one of the three guys where the girl was asking the question, you know, one of these just like, hey, you know, stereotypical 90s dating shows, it's the girls in some boostier and the guys are, I'll take you out for a date and lick your toes
Starting point is 00:48:43 or something like that, who knows, whatever. Anyway, it was funny. And he was one of the only gentlemen on there, by the way, I'll take you out for a date and lick your toes or something like that, who knows, whatever. Anyway, it was funny. And, and he wasn't, he was one of the only gentlemen on there, by the way, just to let you know. So he's maintained that. And you just, you were sharing with us, you just produced the Sun Dance Film Festival award winning, is this, this is a documentary. So tell us about this.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I'll let you share. Yeah, my friend of 25 years, Andrea Gibson, is a non-binary poet from Colorado. I mean, originally Maine, but Colorado. We met in Boulder and Andrea is also the poet laureate met in Boulder and Andrea is also the poet laureate of Colorado, a real talent, has published eight books toward the world, sold out theaters everywhere. And Andrea has stage four ovarian cancer. And our mutual friend, Steph Willen and I were talking one day and Steph was like,
Starting point is 00:49:49 this would make, I feel like Andrea's life right now would make a really great documentary. And man, I haven't seen something so clearly in my life. It was one of those projects that was like just green lights the whole way through. Um, we found the best filmmakers to make the film. They did the Pamela Anderson documentary. Oh, that was brilliant. Yeah. Um, and, uh, we submitted to Sundance. I've been to Sundance four or five times.
Starting point is 00:50:21 This movie got in unanimously. Everybody, unanimously it got in. And then, um, it was really wild because we all rented a, an Airbnb at Sundance and, uh, went out there for the premiere. And because Andrea's not doing great, um, we were very specific and targeted with our time of going to premieres, doing whatever press we had to do. We weren't hanging out at parties and events and like the previous Sundance experiences I had had. We all went back to, we were calling it snuggle down and we would sit by the fire, have tea and just spend time together.
Starting point is 00:51:06 And we knew that man, this really screened well, but that's all we knew. That's all you know, yeah. Yeah. And we were like, well, this is amazing. And we left and I went back to Toronto where I was filming and I got this influx of texts and phone calls and I got emotional because I was scared something happened to Andrea and I called Stephanie and I was telling her I was so scared to call back and she was like you just you have to and it's
Starting point is 00:51:36 going to be okay and and so I'm like so emotional scared to hear bad news. And I call Meg, who this movie is also about, that's Andrea's partner, who is also a poet. And I call and Meg answers and she and Andrea are on speakerphone. They're like, did you hear? And I'm like, and I'm about to cry and I'm like, what? No, what? And they were like, and I'm about to cry. And I'm like, what? No, what? And they were like, we won the festival. We won Sundance. And I was like, what? And then
Starting point is 00:52:11 I'm like emotional in the other direction because we didn't have any clue or vibe what our movie was doing. And it took home the top prize. And it wasn't just of documentaries. It was scripted everything and our director was like, man, movies like ours never take home this prize. And so it was, it was pretty incredible. And the following festival was the Boulder international festival, which was like a real homecoming for the film. And it happened to be right after Sundance. And again, one best documentary won the top prize and, um, and Ryan, the producer,
Starting point is 00:52:54 his partner, his producing partner, Jess, Meg, Andrea's partner, and my friend Steph, who originated the idea were all on stage for the Q&A. I didn't go out because I wasn't feeling well but at the end of the Q&A and I'm so bummed that I missed this they said and Andrea was there but was sitting in the back of the theater because they weren't doing well and and they announced you know Andrea is here and they're sitting in the back of the theater and Steph said the entire theater stood up, turned around facing Andrea in this thousand seat theater and gave like a three minute standing ovation. That's incredible. Yes. I can't wait to see this movie.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Come and see me in the good light. I'm sorry, I cut you off. No, that's exactly it. I mean, there's a chance, and it was purchased, it'll be on a streamer and available later in the year. We'll give out that information when we're available to, and hopefully that'll be today as the Sayers, but if it's not, we will let everyone know the day that it's announced. It is, it is a very powerful and also Andrea is deeply funny, deeply funny. And if you hear poetry and you're like, poetry, this is, this is poetry that is so
Starting point is 00:54:22 accessible and it just hits you like a ton of bricks, whether it is deep, touching, hilarious, it is so beautiful. In this film, you walk out of a screening and you just really want to get living your life. And it's definitely sad, devastating, but it's also a deeply funny movie. Wow. I think part of what has been so amazing about funny to me, whatever that looks like, whether that's standup comedy or your favorite show or practical jokes or whatever poetry,
Starting point is 00:55:00 whatever that is, what has been so amazing to me and what I have realized, especially in the last couple of years of my life, is that funny is a bridge that can get us from point A to point B, and connect us in ways that we never expected, just like music and a lot of other things in our life, and love and passion.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Funny is one of those tendons that is out there that keep us together and pull us in close when times get tough. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you are a living testament to that. And I want to let you know that your comedy has both touched me and made me laugh out loud and I'm here for the ride. You found your people.
Starting point is 00:55:46 TG I really appreciate it. And thank you so much for having me on your show. BD Natar, you are a gift, a gift to us all. You're a national treasure, Tig. TG Oh, thank you. BD And you're also welcome back on the show anytime. Thank you for joining us on the 12 hours of TCB. This has been enlightening and emotional, which I didn't expect. You get it. Five years, 1,000 hours, 750 episodes of the commercial break. I have yet to shed a tear and Tig got me to do it. So there you go. Look at that. Thank you. Well, thank you.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Thank you, Tig. We'll put all the information in the show notes. Thank you, Tig. We'll put be ready for anything this truck month. Truck month is on now. Ask your GMC dealer for details. That's ten. Ten in the bucket kids. The pen wow. The pen ultimate episode of TCB's endless day is in the can. Thank you very much to take Natarra. Handsome the podcast available everywhere you find podcasts. Really funny podcast. It really is with another TCB friend, fortune. Fimster and may Martin is also on the show.
Starting point is 00:57:22 We haven't gotten her on the show yet, but we need work on that. We'll work on that. Tig was wonderful. It was an emotional time for everybody. Please excuse all the crying. But you know, hey, listen, it's Tig Natar. She's like a legendary comedian. And then she comes on and she acts like your big sister.
Starting point is 00:57:42 What are you gonna do? I know. You just wanna cry on her shoulder. She's got that kind of personality. She's been through it. Are you going through it? If you're going through it, May is Mental Health Awareness Month any day,
Starting point is 00:57:52 of any month, of any year. You can dial 998 or Google the National Alliance on Mental Health Illness. There are free resources all over the place. Text or call that 998 if you're in a mental health crisis or you're having an emergency or you're really off, you're really in bad shape, you're not alone. There are professionals that can help you regardless of the resources you have available money-wise. You can get the help that you need. Reach out to a friend, reach out to a
Starting point is 00:58:20 family member, reach out to emergency services if you're in that kind of situation. But don't go through it alone. Please, we're begging you. We've all been there. We have all been there. The tides will turn. Things will get better no matter what's going on. All right. Five Hour Energy is our sponsor, bringing you this with a limited commercial interruption. It's been a great day so far. We want to thank them very much for all the product they sent us and the sponsorship dollars to make this happen. It's been, uh, it's been a great partnership with five hour energy and here's to hope and it happens again, maybe not 12 episodes, but on the next thing that we decide to do here's to hope and all of Tig's information is in the show notes.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Check out handsome, the podcast. I want to thank all of the people at is in the show notes. Check out Handsome the podcast. I wanna thank all of the people at Handsome also for running promos for us. 212-4333-TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of these episodes.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Over the next couple of days, we'll roll out on video, but Tig's is out right now. Okay, Chrissy, one more to go. I love you. I love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until we wrap this up at the top of the hour, we will say, we do say, we must say, goodbye. Yeah. Thanks for watching!

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