The Commercial Break - Thaddeus Maximus Blowvious

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

Everyone is curious about the hellish mother-in-law story sent in by Pete and Bryan is out to get answers. TLC has created another awful reality television show, I Love A Momma's Boy. Bryan is watching but he isn't buying what they're selling. Finally, Tara, her brother Thad and her husband get an invite to a cousin's wedding in Florida. Thad turns in a "wedding crasher" performance of a lifetime and TCB has the story to share. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What I'm doing here is measuring the purity. Pure Coke it melts away at about 185, 190 degrees. Cutting the agent stayed melt away at about 100 and quality 130, good. 140, yes. 150. Fuck me running, 160. Jesus Christ, 170, 180, 100. 187. Where did you get this stuff? Columbia. Oh, uh, do you mind if I do online? Yeah, go ahead. Fuck it, let's all do one. I can't feel my face.

I mean, I can touch it. I can't feel it inside. On this episode of the commercial break, we really did a great job telling this story, right? You took us from point A to point B and we said you have raised the bar on on TCB stories my friend because He basically took up an entire episode with just this thing that he had written That was until that episode came out and then someone tried to top him Where are the balls on this guy? He has none. Did you see he just immediately?

Yeah, he looked right to his mom. Yeah, he looked right to his mom. He said, yes, mom. Yes, mom. Yes, mom. God bless, I hope. I don't raise children like this. I mean, I really hope I don't raise children like this. I don't see any signs of my wife being this way.

But if I do, it's going to, yeah, straight to the therapist. It is straight to the therapist. This co-cat sponsored by Coorsite! It must have been the doors! He must have been the doors! It was as if when the doors blew open, the music stopped with a screech and the entire wedding pause. Sadious Maximus was in the house. Ha ha!

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh yeah, welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. I am Brian Green.

This is my dear friend, Anne Coho's. Chris, enjoy. How'd you like to see your friends? That's E. Brian! And this you and the bad guys universe, how the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. The commercial break. It's not for everyone, but Fag News are fiction.

In one minute or less, guaranteed, or your money bag go to the brand new TCBpodcast.com to collect your winnings. Welcome on board. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Man, do we get a lot of feedback from our episode Welcome on board. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And so we got a number of text messages. Some people believed the story. Some people didn't believe the story. Some, a lot of people had follow up questions left and right

because they were like, I got it. What inquiring minds got to know what happened after? I know, I got those same questions. Okay, I texted him back and I said, listen, there's a whole, we can start it something. You started something now, we can't stop. Like you got to, yeah, it's a train. And so I have been assured that PD will follow up

with some answers to some of the questions. He says he doesn't want to get too much in detail because he's afraid that somebody might catch on to what's going on. It's a very unique story. And anybody that's listening is probably going to be familiar with anybody who knows the story will probably be familiar with this story. Yeah. So he's already rendered anyway.

So he should just tell us the rest. Yeah, I mean, and I told him, I said, Pete, don't worry. I mean, it's the fucking commercial break. That's smart list here. No one's gonna know. No one's gonna shit. I mean, honestly, it's the chances of someone listening to the commercial break that you know are so small. Very. My audience is, you know, yeah. We only have a couple of friends that even listen to it. I don't have any family members that continue to do this. No. I get this one.

I get, oh man, I love the show, but I'm so many episodes behind. You guys put out so much content. I just listened to the one where you talk about the preachers. And I'm like, episode number three. Yeah. Oh yeah, I listened to that one a couple months ago. You mean three years ago, you jackass.

But I get it, I get it. If I had a family member or friend, close friend, who did a podcast, like the commercial break, it is unlikely that I would listen to it either. It is just not, I don't know, it's a stupid little show and everyone's heard my stories and my isn't. Well, I think everybody talks it up to you. Ah, it's a stupid little show and everyone's heard my stories and my isn't. They do. They do.

Oh, I think everybody talks it up to you. It's Brian and Christine Meng. Oh, Brian and Al. They do. They do. Like, we don't know what they're gonna be talking about. They don't know that we've got a whole like, you know, a whole 13 people in Canada

that just love this show. And they keep us way high on the charts. Third worst show in Canada. It's still there, there. Still sticking around. So I'm going to Napple. Still try to figure out how to fix that algorithm. I can see like meetings at Apple. What are we going to do about this? This commercial break is better than the top of the chart. Slip through the crack. Yeah, buddy. Listen, we'll take it. We'll take what we can get. It's one of the few accomplishments we actually had here at the commercial break.

take what we could get. It's one of the few accomplishments we actually had here at the commercial break. So until we make money, get any notable listeners, let me about it a little bit listeners. We'll take number three in Canada, we for sure will. So Pete and his story have now driven everybody crazy and I got some questions going back to Pete. I hope to get a response sooner rather than later.

So too much time doesn't collapse. But what this has also started, I feel like is a little bit of a contest to see who's got the better story, right? Now before I get too far away from Pete, the whole reason why I thought the story with Pete was interesting, why I connected the dots on the story with Pete. I was watching the show, I have a mama's boy. Or I am a mama's boy. Or I love a mama's boy or something like that.

Some stupid show on TLC, which is. I'm in love with a mama's boy. I'm in love with a mama's boy. That's right. Okay, so I wanted to give everybody just a taste list. Now usually, I know we usually do the clips at the end of the show, but I'm gonna push him here to the middle of the show

so that we can take a listen to this show so you understand just how ridiculous. Give him backstory. Give him backstory. This is one of the couples who has kind of survived the four seasons of, I love a mama's boy so far. To me, this feels, a lot of this feels very manufactured, but I don't know you tell me.

Okay. Here's the story. Guy lives with his mother, his entire life. She is a helicopter parent of epic proportions. They do everything together. They like cut their own. They cut their toenails. They take showers together. I mean, they're doing weird stuff that adult children and adult parents should never be doing together. And now he's got himself a girlfriend that's about to turn into a fiance. They like to build a house. So where they get to build a house. So where they get to build a house.

Oh, I also might mention that the mother here, and I guess the father are extremely well to do. And I also might mention that it seems like the kid, the boy, the man, I mean, whatever he is, he seems to be living off of that wealth. Yeah, for sure. So now the fiance, soon to be, you know, bride of this man and the man, they want to build a house. But of course, where do they have to build it? And how are they going to build it?

They're going to build it with her money, her mother's money, on his mother's land, in Los Angeles, California. Oh, wow. Okay, so ready? Here we go. Okay. Okay, so ready? Here we go. So today the architect is coming to discuss the plans for our new home, which will be, of course, on Kelly's property. Expect nothing less.

Kelly is the mother. Yeah. Hey, good. Expect nothing less. Hi, Jim. Yeah. Come on. Hey. Hey, good. I'm back, nothing less. Hi, Kim. Nice to meet you. Not nice to meet you, Matt. You should met you.

Hi, Kelly. Yeah, I've had Matt and Kelly Kim. Easy. Is that the dad? That's the dad. Yeah, one of the few appearances that I think the dad has ever made on this show because he's sick of this shit, too. Right.

Here, have you put me thought into where you might want things? Yes. Okay, so yes, we're going to be living like walking distance from their home, but ideally we'd still have like those private spaces. So folks, some things out the back maybe patio areas on the back side. Right, that's what we thought about. We were thinking open concept for sure.

I don't know if I like that. You don't like open concept? I don't know. I mean, I'd like to keep my options open. What? It's like I would. Who doesn't like open concept? I want as many walls as possible in my brand new house.

Is that possible? Is it can you do that? OK. We can talk about that. We'll work out some last. Is that okay? Can that work? I mean, I feel like the architect just like asked like what we want So yeah, but we want to include mom because this is part of mom as well. She has Like that Who's in charge of this house? Oh

Whose cock is that is my cock. I birthed it. I'm still sucking it. I mean, I don't know what's going on here. It's so weird. It is. Matt and I have talked about things that we want on our wish list. But when it comes to decision making,

Matt feels this need to get that opinion from Kelly. And it makes me feel like, like, what's my place and what's the purpose of me giving my opinion to begin with. And what about a guest room when I want to stay over? You can't walk 20 feet back to the house? The architect's like, woo! I like how can I step into here?

The architect is like, so it's just some clients, it's not worth it. This lady is a nightmare. Yeah. Why would you ever, if you're the spouse or soon to be spouse, why would you ever agree to live on this property? I know, I would. This is why part of this feels manufactured to me,

because this girl isn't stupid. I mean, you can tell she got a brain on her shoulders. She's not. No. Yeah, this is all for the camera, I think. Yeah. you got a brain on her shoulders. She's not... No. Yeah, this is all for the camera, I think. Yeah. But we need like that privacy, like that's what we just talked about.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable to have my own bedroom there. I'm paying for it. So that's the way it is. And Kim is just going to have to get used to it. Maybe I could talk to you about it about setting up the house for an older person, maybe grip rails along the line. I'm planning on being there well into the future. That's what she's saying. This is the problem. I'm paying for it.

Therefore, I want it my way. Why, first of all, you're 30 feet from the other house. Why do you need a bedroom in there? You don't. Second of all, don't let your mom pay for something if you want your own shit. A pen and a pen dance. Yeah, this kid, this guy, is never gonna leave

Mama's nest because he's smart too. He's like, I got it all made in the shade. Yeah. Why would I ever leave? There's another fiance around the corner at the nether. You want to do gripperels now? And for a wheelchair instead of steps, we have a ramp. It can all be laid out so there's minimal problems getting in and out.

When it comes to planning 30, 40, 50 years down the road, for me it's like why? Like why are you making that decision right now? I changed his diapers and he's going to be changing mine. Oh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I...

Like, yep. I won. Where are the balls on this guy? He has none. Did you see him? He just immediately looked. He looked right to his mom. Yeah, he looked right to his mom.

He said, yes, mom. Yes, mom, yes, mom. Yes, mom. God bless, I hope I don't raise children like this. I mean, I really hope I don't raise children like this. I don't see any signs of my wife being this way, but if I do, it's gonna, yeah, straight to the therapist. It's straight to the therapist.

Are you gonna say anything? I mean, I don't know. We kind of three have to be in agreement of what we're wanting. So, and I want mom's opinion of like what she thinks we should do too, so that way we're all kind of on the same page. So, thank for coming by. The dad. Well, this is a part when all hell goes to the hand baskets. So you might want to get out of here while you get. Thanks for stopping by.

Thanks for stopping by. We're probably not going to hire you. You get it. Like this mother-in-law is a total fucking nightmare. I mean, why would you ever choose to be in a relationship like this? Yeah, I couldn't. Never. So Pete should have long since left.

Long since left, Pete. Not the nest. You should have, you told us in this story that you said, this incredibly elaborate story that you told us. You explained that there were so many red flags along the way. And you chose to ignore them at every step, justify them at every step, say, well, it's a little weird, but let me tell you something, kids and cats and kittens out there. If your mother-in-law is anything like this woman that we just listened to, if she has that-

Things aren't going to change. Things aren't going to change. And she's always going to win. Yes. Especially if the child, if her child, is completely whipped like this guy is. He has brainwashed it. That is fine.

None whatsoever. So Pete tells this story about how, you know, he saw all these signs that there was a helicopter parent involved, that the mother and the daughter, his fiance and her mother had a really strange relationship from the beginning, yet he chose to ignore them, he pacified them, he excused them at every turn and then she put him in a position on the rehearsal dinner night in a really bad position. Got him drunk. Got him drunk, got him up to a room, got him naked and while he was passed out, she took

pictures and sent him, sent them to her daughter, which was his fiance and wouldn't you know what the wedding is called off. And now Pete is left literally with his dick in his hand and nothing to show for it. Pete really, he did a great job telling this story, right? He took us from point A to point B, and we said, you have raised the bar on on TCP stories, my friend, because he basically took up an entire episode with just this thing that he had written. That was until that episode came out

and then someone tried to top him. Now, there are two parts to this story. We are going to tell part one because this is also a very long story. We're gonna start, this guy is asking for advice just like Pete did, but Pete never really asked for any advice. He just told us a story. Yeah, like a cautionary tale.

Yeah, so we're gonna call this Taddle Tale TCB, right? That's what we're gonna call. I like it. This guy is also asking for advice, but I don't have the second part of the story because I think I've reached the maximum limit of characters on a text message. And I think I lost the second part of the story.

But fear not, it's on its way. Okay. But this is probably gonna be a two-part or, because I just don't think I can get all of these words in one episode. All the words and a commentary that's sure to follow. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of The Commercial Break. You can go to TCBpodcast.com. If you want to find out more information about Chrissy and I, watch any of the video or listen to any of the audio episodes, you can do that right there at the website TCBPodcast.com.

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go to at the commercial break on IG. The question we get most often is how can we best support the show? You can leave us a review, a comment, or a rating on your favorite podcast player, wherever you're listening to us. It's likely that they have a review or rating system, please take one minute out of your day and leave that review. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast also. If you hear one of our sponsors' commercials and you're inclined to buy their product or

service, please use the specialized URLs or codes that we talk about on those ads so that our sponsors will continue to support the show and make it free and frequent to you. We love our TCB listeners and from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for listening to the show. We're gonna hear a word from said sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break Are you ready? I am ready. Okay, Tattle Tale TCB here we go. This is a story and I think this is some gentleman out there Trying to one up PD and his story, but this one if true is just a walker I am no we are not claiming the veracity of this story by the way

This is somebody who's texting our phone like, we don't know them personally. Dear Brian and HODLY, I heard your episode last Friday and had me all fired up. There are so many questions that I have and I won't rest until I get the answers. But I'll save these to the end of my story. And since Pete has set the bar so high,

I will do my best to meet the challenge. All right. All right. I love this. I want your advice on something. How would you handle this family situation? Let me set the stage. The year was 2018, pre-pandemic. So take yourself back to a time when we did not worry about masks, social distancing, or getting the virus. Okay, I'm putting my brain there, all right? Yes, we didn't worry about that. We didn't worry about drinking bleach, or whether or not Fouchie had married Bill Gates' daughter. Yeah, we did, none of that stuff.

My wife, Tara, obviously not her real name, and I had been married for about three years at this point. One day out of the blue, my wife got a wedding invitation from a cousin she had spoken with very little since childhood. The cousin lived in Florida and we were in Chicago. The wedding was to take place at the Ritz Carlton in Florida late in the summer of that year. It doesn't specify which Ritz Carlton.

I actually suspect I might know which Ritz Carlton, but we'll get to that later. I never met this cousin and my wife had not spoken to her in many years, but we considered it a kind gesture to send us a wedding invitation and agree that we would do our best to get to the wedding and treat ourselves to a nice end of summer vacation. Yeah, I saw that you can just try to get a vacation. Absolutely. Those are the best kind of weddings when they're destination and you don't really know the people say you don't have to wrap yourself up and every little fucking bullshit that they're doing.

You don't have to be there steam cleaning. The, you know, the, the, the, the, the groomsman's tux before the wedding. That's right. Uh, I'll also tell you that my wife is a, I don't know why he put this in the story. Maybe we're missing this in the second story, but he says I'll also tell you that my wife is a former model and both of us have been known to invite a third person to the bedroom. Oh, it's spicy.

We have a rather wild sex life or at least we did before the pandemic. That's a different story for a different time. And I'm okay. Thanks for including that. That's sure how this is. It's got a tie on something. As the summer rolls on, I made a few extra bucks at my car dealership. Maybe that was an invitation to us.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I think this guy wants to get on TCV. It's really what's going on. We've got a couple of those running around too, right? I mean, that was an invitation to us. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I think this guy wants to get on TCV. It's really what's going on. We've got a couple of those running around too, right? I made a few extra bucks on my card's card dealership job and we were able to book flights in a room for the rites

for a couple of days of fun in the sun and a small family reunion. Nice. Tara and I had also convinced her brother, Thad, and his wife to join us in Florida since they had gotten an invitation also I Really enjoyed hanging out with Tara's brother. He's one of a kind imagine Ronnie from the Jersey Shore meets Frankie B

He's in his late forties. He's always talking about how wonderful he is and he has absolutely no self-awareness He basically thinks he's God's gift to women, and when he gets drunk, he is the best reality show you have ever watched. I love this guy. All right, okay, I'm down with that. September rolls around, and we all head down to Florida. The place we are staying is absolutely gorgeous.

It's a fucking Ritz Carlton, what else do we expect? When we arrived at the hotel, there's a meet and greet party for all the guests coming to the wedding. It was very nice of them. When we arrived at the hotel, there's a meet and greet party for all the guests coming to the wedding. That's very nice of them. The wedding we see, this wedding we realize is huge. Maybe 250 people.

Somebody's got some money. Yeah. It was clear right from the beginning that this was gonna be a hard charging party to give you some commentary. To give you some commentary. That party, wait, to give you some commentary, That party, wait, to give you some commentary,

the meet and greet party, oh, the bride had to be carried out of the meet and greet party after she passed out on the grand piano. That was being played at the Reds Car to the Lovie Bar. That's awesome. All right, okay. But it didn't stop with just drinks. Even though I had never met any of these people,

everyone was super nice. We met a couple of the cousins Tara hadn't spoken with in years and many of the friends of the soon to be bride and groom. One of the husbands of the bride's sister was named Mike and he lived down in Florida. On the first night, after the meet and greet party was officially over,

we all went to a second bar inside of the hotel Mike asked around the 20 or 30 people the 20 or 30 of us that had joined this after party if we wanted to do a little finger dip If you know what I mean Brian yes, I did he took two or three people at a time up to his room where he looked like he had an entire brick of time up to his room where he looked like he had an entire brick of a tire brick of Columbia's finest laid out on the bedside table. Guys, this shit got wild from the moment we stepped in the hotel room and there was only, there was still two days left before the wedding. Jesus. My wife and I took a little bump and lightly excused ourselves to make sure we didn't blow the entire vacation on blow. But sad, Tara's brother, he had different ideas. And next morning, Tara and I went down to the cafe to get some brunch.

And he still left. Thad's wife was there with a few other folks, and she was freaked out. She had last heard from her husband at 5 a.m. in the morning when he sent a photograph of himself and three other people she didn't recognize. On a boat wearing sunglasses, Oh my God sunglasses, telling her that they had gone fishing. Oh my God.

It was pitch black when the photo was taken. That's crazy. That's so dangerous. On the ocean five in the morning. I mean, I hope they're with a guy who knows I'm driving a boat. You couldn't catch me dead. No. Like a recreational boat.

Like watercraft in the middle of the night. No way. In the ocean. Oh way in the ocean We all agreed that this was not unlike that that he probably was still galavanting around Jacksonville telling people how Wonderful he was we managed to calm his wife down and I agreed I do a little investigating after breakfast When I finished the meal the first thing I did was go to go to find Mike the muffin man as he was now being called. Mike, this is the guy with the cocaine, right? All right. Okay. I went to the front desk, managed to get a room number and was able to call up and he actually answered the phone. He explained that him and Thad had met a guy at the bar, had met a guy at the bar who had a boat. They all decided to take a drive and watch

the sunrise. Thad was last singing scene, hanging out in front of the hotel with the maid of honor, a sister of the bride and her husband, both of which had been on the boat. Okay. That's like a glue. I was now leading. A game glue. Yeah, I was now lead investigator in the case of the missing ass hat. The first thing I knew, the first thing I knew to do was to talk to the valet and the

bellman. It was six in the morning when he was last seen and it was only 9.30 a.m. right now. Clearly someone had seen something. Yes. My detective instincts were correct. As a pond talking to one of the valets, I'd learned that Thad had suggested a dip in the jacuzzi located on the back of the property. Oh, the jacuzzi.

He and the couple, he was with, had made their way back to the jacuzzi, and without any bathing suits decided to go, I'll not you're out. I'm sure this sounded like a good idea at the time, but as the sun was rising, some of the people whose rooms were facing the jacuzzi did not find this a pleasant wake-up call. No. Did you imagine? This was actually happened at a wedding of mine. At first when I started reading this, I was like, are they talking about my wedding?

Well, okay, with similar consequences, by the way. Yeah, you know, they have those, you know, the big pool complex. Yeah. And then they got the big jacuzzi. And there know the big pool complex yes the big jacuzzi and there's some of those rooms are facing the jacuzzi so you can't just be out there making one of the suns right now someone's bound to catch you the kids in the fucking hotel right uh...

uh... some of the people did not find this to be a pleasant wake up call security was called they refused to put on clothing or get out of the jacuzzi and eventually mothad was kicked out of the hotel. Oh geez. Took us another two and a half hours in a credit card transaction later to find out that he was staying at a hampton in about two and a half miles found the beat. A couple of well-placed phone calls and one crying wife later we got the hotel manager to do a welfare check where he found that on the couch in the hotel room masturbating to hardcore porn on the television

Oh my gosh He was a happy reunion between that and his wife and by that I mean they did not speak to each other for the rest of the day We had to convince the rich girl to manage me to allow him back into the hotel, under strict supervision and promise that he would keep his clothes on and his nose clean. Let's move ahead a little bit to the night before the wedding. A few of us who had managed to behave ourselves were invited to join the casual rehearsal dinner at a seafood restaurant down in the town. One of the people invited was Tara's sister. However, sad was not welcome. Word had gotten around about the mishap on the j in the town. One of the people invited was Tara's sister. However, sad was not welcome.

Word had gotten around about the mishap on the jacuzzi and everyone felt it was best that he stayed in the hotel room until it was time to check out. Yes. I'm kidding, but not really. Yeah. Ha. Tara's sister was so over it.

She decided to go to the rehearsal dinner without her husband in tow. This turned out to be the mistake that probably ruined the rest of the West. What happens next? Here's where things get good. While we were away at the rehearsal dinner, Thad decided to hook up with Mike to make sure he had enough pedal power to keep keep him company for the night. While we all had cocktails and crab legs downtown, sad, drink whiskey and snorted marching powder in one of the bars at a hotel next to the Ritz. Oh, shit.

As the rehearsal didn't wrap itself, we noticed that the native honor and her husband had taken off a bit early. I would have never paid attention to something like this, but it was my wife's keen eye that alerted me to the situation. We all were like, weren't they the ones in the jacuzzi as well? They were the ones in the jacuzzi as well. So now I'm like in this part of the story, I'm wandering a little bit. If what's going on here is like a little three-side. You know, we already know

just based on like color characterizations that sad is the kind of guy that's willing to do anything at any time He's a guy is a white man in his late 40s who's willing to snort coke and drink booze at a stranger's wet Yes, this is not the kind of guy that you want at your wedding This is the kind of guy who's likely to make trouble no matter where he goes Of course and if he's anything like Frankie B and or Ronnie from the Jersey shore I don't know all that well But isn't he the guy who's just like a lug nut running around like you cheating on everybody and sleeping with everybody and screaming and yelling.

Yeah. I guess they all are. They all are. Fad should never have been left alone under any circumstances. No, like that was going to take a bubble bath and go to bed. Yeah, I mean, come on. My guess is that Fad has still up from the first step. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. All right, so now let's continue here. Oh, it was my wife's eye that had a keen eye that alerted me that the maid of honor and her husband had left the rehearsal dinner early. We all decided to do a little bar hopping around this cute town and a few hours went by. Right after midnight, we decided to jump in a bar hopping around this cute town and a few hours went by.

Right after midnight, we decided to jump in an Uber and go back to the hotel where we were joined by the bride. Okay, so now it's the bride, Tara and her husband, the guy who's writing this story, are all in an Uber on the way back to the Ritz Carlton. During the car ride home, the bride never took her eyes off her phone. She was texting rapidly, rapidly, and with every text message response, she seemed to get more upset and more irritated. She explained to us that the maid of honor's husband couldn't find the maid of honor. Oh!

She had turned off her phone and was nowhere to be found. Oh, oh, oh! The last time he saw her was you guessed it. Yeah, with that. At the hotel next door with Thad, where they were having drinks and some yay-yout. Oh, I know. It's like the Kennedys or something.

That's it. Yeah. It's like the Kennedys and the Jackass people are making a movie together. Apparently the bride, the maid of honors husband, had walked back to the hotel to change his clothes and when he came back to the bar, they were nowhere to be found. Whoa. Fucking a man.

I can't imagine. They take off. I've been in a few relationships. Yeah. Where unfortunately drugs and alcohol were involved on more than a few okay. Yeah. We get twisted like this.

Shit starts happening and you don't know what's going on. No, like basically any kind of self-consciousness or like any kind of jealousy, anything. It all gets blown out of proportion. Yeah, and everything too flies out the window is like what time it is and what you're doing. And what you should or should not be doing. Yes.

And luckily I haven't been in the situation in my marriage, but because I don't party like that anymore. But I remember with a woman that I was with, we were all partying hard one night after we had all worked at the bar Yeah, and that included drugs and out much like this situation drugs an alcohol and the guy who was dealing the drugs Had been invited up to party with us and so now this is like an intimate party of six yes at one point in the night I was playing you know ping-flawy's the wall for the 330 thirds With the host of the party was playing harmonica to you know, Pink Floyd's the wall for the 333rds. With the host of the party who was playing Armonica, it's a Pink Floyd's the wall.

I don't know what happened, but my wife and the dealer were gone. Right. I don't know. It's all the sudden. Go. You know what I'm saying? That weird sense that you're like, what happened? Thank you. The host of the party, I started asking the question like, where did she go? Where did she go? Where did she go? where did she go? Where did she go? Where did she go? Where did they go?

Where did they go? And the host of the party went looking because it was his house and he found her and the dealer making out at the bottom of the fucking stairs. Yeah. Shit gets weird. Shit does get weird. When you make shit weird, shit gets weird.

That's why I got a fit. Don't make shit weird. OK, apparently he had walked back to the hotel to change his clothes when he came back. Yeah, they're not there. No, we're to be found. Okay. When we got back to the hotel, we found ourselves in the middle of a bit of a search party. Again.

While no one thought these two people had been kidnapped by some cartel or drowned at the hotel pool, this was a bit concerning because this guy was an idiot and proven that Thad was an idiot and had proven himself incapable of rational thoughts, time and time. Again, God, thank you. He was on a bender. Yeah, this is the kind of guy you want on commercial break.

You know what I'm saying? You can convince him to come on. But not sober, completely twisted. Yeah. Yeah. We went back to the bar to talk to the bartender. We're talking about the bar next door where they were. We came up with nothing.

The bill had been paid and they had left it. This is like the movie The Hangout. I know. It's like a real creative. It's like a real creative. And you know, it's hard to go to a destination wedding and not incur some drama like that. True. I dare anybody who's been to a destination wedding

to not remember at least some drama that happened during that way, especially if they're the drinkin' type. Especially if they're the partyin' type. But this is, this is, this is, it started to go a little further than I've ever seen it go. We went back to the bar, we came up with nothing, the bill had been paid, and the two had left as soon as the girls, the maid of honors husband, had walked out the door.

We checked the bathrooms, we checked the hotel. Finally, my wife and I decided to get out of the drama and go upstairs to have one more drink, or go downstairs to have one more drink before turning in for the night. At the ritz. At the ritz. Her brother was a fucking moron, and he had ruined another family event.

This is her brother. God. This is her brother. His brother in law. Yeah. Here's what happened next. Some of the people who went looking decided to check the beach.

Since the hotel was right on the beach, it made sense that maybe the two were out having a drink or God forbid taking a night swim in the ocean. One of the groomsmen walked from our hotel to the hotel toward the hotel next door where the bar was. He was about a hundred feet in front of three other women who were also checking the beach.

As he was walking, he saw two dark figures on the beach near the dune. He called out, he heard no response. on the beach near the dune. He called out, Zad, he heard no response. He got a little closer and called out again. Zad, is that you? No response. Thinking that the noise from the waves was making it hard to hear, he walked a little closer, turned on his cell phone light,

and became witness to two divorces at the same time. Zad and the maid of honor were on the dune completely naked, no clothes to be found, holding each other close, clearly shaken by the fact that they had been caught. Oh, wow. Oh my God. Yeah. Now let me get this straight.

Hold on, let's second. Again, I don't know the veracity of this story, but I'm just thinking this through for myself. You're at the hotel bar. Okay, I'm with my wife, I'm at the hotel bar, and there's some crazy jacked up motherfucker who keeps talking about how big his dick is with us too, right? And he's got a pile full of cocaine,

and he's buying drinks, and everyone's getting twisted. Yes. I decide to extricate myself from the situation to go get changed. I know. I don't think so. I decided to extricate myself from the situation to go get changed. I know. I don't think so. First of all, second point.

What did I shit myself? I did what happened. You poopoo peepie? I mean, come on. Like, what are you doing? Why are you going next door to get changed? Yeah, I'm going to get changed. Unless you're going next door to do more drugs.

Now, that I can understand, right? And maybe that part just didn't get onto the story. But now let me also get this part straight. The second I leave, those two, check out of the hotel, I mean, to check out of the bar. And then they go directly into the path of where I have to walk backwards to get a little fun, to get a little build.

Well, no, they were on the beach. Like maybe you could walk on the street. That's true. Yeah, you could get a ride. That's true. Maybe there was a walk away or something like that. Yeah, I don't know. You're right.

You're right. I'll reserve judgment. Okay, clearly shaken. They found them holding each other close, clearly shaken by the fact that they had not, or that they had just been caught. Yep Had his groomsman been the only one to see this had the groomsman been the only one to see this Maybe things would have been a little bit different

But a few seconds later the pack of chatty wolves walked up on the scene and shit. It's a fan Yeah, you have to understand that I was not there was With his, with his, was that wife part of the crew that was looking. No, remember, they're up at the bar. They've, they've decided, we just probably, spare ourselves the embarrassment and go up and have a drink and don't be any part of it. Yeah, no, but I'm saying, sads, why?

No, sad, oh, sads, why. The wife. The wife. Yeah, the wife. Yeah, I have no idea. No, she's, I don't know where she is. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe she's downtown having sex with another guy. Sounds like these two are wild. That's right. Like anything goes in this relationship. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Again, more answers. More questions that need answers.

And when it's written down, you can't hold it some kind of scrutiny because you can just read what they wrote. You can infer, but you're right, where is the wife? Yeah, where's the wife? Maybe the wife has got to be a part of the search party I would imagine. That's an idea. But maybe she's not part of this cattle of women that are behind that, so no.

She's like, oh, that's bad. He does this every time. I think they're making the right call here. If I know who that is, I'm probably going to hide. Like, I don't know that guy. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be any part of his behavior. I want you to know that I'm a gentleman

and I don't want to have any part of this. He's already gotten kicked out of the hotel for refusing to get out of the jacuzzi while he has no clothes on. He's already 16 grams of cocaine into it and he's only been there for 37 hours. I mean, this guy is high-wired. High-wired. He's a higher of cocaine into it. He's only been there for 37 hours. I mean, this guy is a high-wired. High-wired. He's a higher-wire act.

You have to understand I wasn't there. We were in the hotel lobby having a drink. We had no idea what was going on. This was all related to us after the fact, but apparently, sad in this woman had been flirting since the very first night. Oh, okay. Her husband was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. Her husband had even flirting since the very first night. Oh, okay. Her husband was growing increasingly uncomfortable

with the situation. Her husband had even complained to the bride that Thad was a bit much and he was making everybody uncomfortable except for his wife. Yeah. And just another reason to not go get changed. Just go get changed. No.

Don't leave these two alone. First of all, talk about major trust issues here. I mean, if you can't leave somebody, if you can't leave your significant other alone with somebody for five seconds and not believe that they're gonna have sex on the beach within minutes, this is a problem. I sense that this marriage was on the rocks in the first place. I think so too. That's probably why that's wife wasn't that we're gonna be found. Yeah, that's right. She's like, this is it. I was just trying to get squeeze

one more. Ritz, Carlton, vacation, other things. The juice. We've not heard the squeeze. When the three of them went to go hang at the next door bar and have a party a little while after their hersled dinner, the husband did not want to go, but his wife insisted, and so he decided to join, so as not to leave her alone. Talk about trust issues.

I guess in this case, it was warranted. I guess so. Sounds like it. And so he decided to join so as not to leave her alone. Talk about trust issues. I guess in this case, it was warranted. I guess so. Sounds like it. Every destination has a little good, every destination wedding has a little good drama. See, I just said that. And this one turned out to be a head banger.

It didn't take long before the news spread around the hotel. And we found ourselves calling around to find a new hotel that we could put Tara's brother in. Since Tara was already going to murder her brother, if she found herself within five feet of him, I decided to take a Uber ride with him to make sure he got to the hotel. Okay. Smart move here. Smart move by.

Again, he's just alone. So his wife is out of the picture. I don't know where his wife is. Yeah. This guy was pretty, Thad was pretty banged up at this point. I think he needed to go home. Yeah, right, on a plane. Yeah, of course, I know you could get on a plane.

All right, that's true. And it's a long way to Chicago, you know what I'm saying? That's true. The guy was, Thad was pretty banged up at this point and basically had zero remorse about what just happened. When we got into the Uber, he kept asking, why is everyone so upset? It's just too consenting at all.

It's all right. Yeah, your both married. I didn't even bother to explain that the situation, as I knew it. Oh, I didn't even bother trying to explain the situation. As I knew, even if he was 100% sober, it wouldn't make a lick of difference. He was a numb nuts and had been doing this kind of shit since I'd known him.

When I got sad to the hotel to make sure that he had checked in and actually got inside the room I asked him if he had any additional drugs. He promised me he did not I told him not to take a drink Don't call this guy Mike and he promised he wouldn't I said goodnight and the last thing he asked me on the way out the door Was what time is the wedding tomorrow You gotta be kidding me. Oh, man. I told him the next time we would be seeing each other was on the way to the airport. He should not come to the wedding under any circumstances. No.

The next day, Tara and I made ourselves scarce. We went off the hotel property to hang out on the beach and we questioned whether or not we should even show up to the wedding. We had nothing to do with this pile of steaming shit, but we were related to this. You were. It's related pile of steaming shit. That poor wife was a hot mess and this was a. Oh, there's the mention of the life. And this was understandable. She couldn't even bring herself to leave the hotel room that

day. As hours of the wedding drew close, my wife and I decided we should go and show up at least be supportive of the bride and groom. We also felt that if we didn't show up, people think we would think we were part more part of the drama than we were. And if we did show up, maybe we would just be innocent bystanders like the rest. I can see your tears here, part there. This wedding was fucking strange, Brian and Chrissy. The whole event was marred by this bitch fuck fest that had happened a night back before. Yeah, that's all anybody or anything they get about.

Are you kidding me? It's like a dark, you know, testicle car cloud. If I was a bride, I would be so pissed. First of all, it's her maid of honor that basically ruined her wedding. Rooned her wedding. And lives. Yeah. Your wedding is going to be tainted by her divorce, the entirety of your life. But now you got 250 fucking people waiting for this wedding to happen. They've all spent time and money, the energy, and effort to get there. What

are you going to do? Nothing. Nothing. You go on with the wedding as planned. And I know, I guess we'll find out in a second. Well, marriage. Marriage. Marriage is what brings us here today. Marriage and cocaine. Right. The whole event was marred by this bitch fuck fest

that had happened the night before, and you could just feel that everybody was whispering about it the entire time. The main of honor however did show up but she was crying more than the bride. What's the main of honors like in the wedding? I guess that's what she that's what it says. Oh my. It was just strange. Yeah. The main of honors husband however did not show up. He had apparently driven off in a fit of anger and was now back where he lived. I'm with that dude.

Hey, I'm with that dude. Take the car, take the keys. Get the keys, go somewhere else. That's right. Tara's sister had not shown up to the party and we were really concerned. But we decided if we could just knock out a couple hours at the wedding and the reception,

we could get upstairs and comfort Tara. The good news was, Thad was nowhere to be cited. He was almost certainly, or I was almost certain he was gonna show up, but he did not. That's good. At least not to the ceremony. Ah, little foreshadowing there. When it came time for the reception,

everyone jumped in the big ballroom and started dancing. Once the music came on, it started to feel 10% more normal in the room. And then an hour into the reception. The doors flew open. The picture is like a bus. And that smoke and white behind him. And he's got like one of those...

He's got like one of those Vile Ripped shirt and a glass file with a long nail This co-cat sponsored by Coursi Hey, he must open the doors It must have been the doors. He must have opened the doors. It was as if when the doors flew open, the music stopped with a screech and the entire wedding pause. Saddest Maximus was in the house. That is bad. I could just see it like...

What did I miss? I was gonna say I'm picturing two like a tux jacket that the sleeves are ripped up. Oh my god. Like air, slipped back. You were in me, were you? He's got some glasses on. He did it. He actually shooed up.

He was showing his face after sleeping with a bridesmaid on the beach despite her marriage to another man and his marriage to another woman. Holy shit! Part of me was mortified but most of me admired his cut. Okay. That's it. I gotta get part two. Oh They're better be a part two. Oh my god House I'm with them. I gotta say part of me is mortified, but most of me is like dude You took it further. Good for you. Oh my god.

I feel like the commercial break is just gonna turn into one person after another trying to out story themselves. Hey, I like it. Hey, Fagnus or Fiction, 66. It's a lesser of money back. I like it. I like it toous or Fiction. Yeah, 66. It's a lesser money back. I like it. I like it too. Good for you.

Good for you. And I got, well, he tells me there's part two. He's gonna send it to me. So I didn't get it before the episode started. I don't know if we would have had time for it anyway. That's a good place to stop. Staddeus Maximus kicks open the doors and everybody stops.

Yeah. I can't wait to hear what happens next. I hope it's as good as part one. That's all I gotta say. Oh, man. Okay, gcbpodcast.com, that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I. Watch all the video, you can listen to all the audio,

all from one location, if you want to contact us. You have questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. You can do that through the website by hitting the contact us button and sending us an email or you go to 661 or dial up 661 237 8296 on your telephone, send us a text message or call. It'll give you a voice message and then you can leave your own voice message and we just might use your voice on a future episode. And I think that's why not a lot of people leave voice messages. Yes. It's because they're afraid of how many use their voice. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. But if you feel so inclined, go to Instagram at the commercial break.

You'll find there are clips daily and some fun stuff that we do. YouTube.com slash the commercial break is our YouTube channel. Clips every single day of the week and full episodes a few days after they air here on the audio version. Please do us a favor and leave us a review on your favorite podcast player, a review, a comment, a rating, whatever your podcast player has. If you could do that for us, we certainly would appreciate it. Thanks to everyone who's shown us support over the, especially over the last couple of

months, the show is just, I don't even know what's going on It's just exploding and so thank you very much. We recognize it. We see you. We just don't want to take ourselves too seriously. I know. The internet give it. The internet take it away. Chrissy, I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you.

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