The Commercial Break - Thanks A Lot, Geri! (Ask TCB)

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

It's an Ask TCB! We've got asshats, might-be lesbians, votes of confidence, listening as a couple, piggyfronting from behind, and, dammit Bryan, *sobs* leave Blue alone! Bryan fixed something for the first time Blinker fluid Toilet troubles! Thank G for Bryan’s Father-in-law Ay, Bryan! Don't be fooled by Bryan’s stupid brain Ask TCB Is Todd an asshat? Or is this just a sign of the times? Geri believes in us Krissy *shines* on stage at a dive bar Hi Darrell & Maggie! Don’t play TCB out loud–headphones only! LEAVE BLUE ALONE, YOU MEAN OLD MAN! Listener Krissy has a Q about piggyfronting her behind Peg him! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If I die, I will donate my body to science, except for my middle fingers. I want to send those to Billy Ray Cyrus. On this episode of the Commercial Break, Why are you not more popular? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I love this. I think she's saying this without a bit of irony, by the way. What more people like you? Have you ever thought about advertising the show? Yes, we have. Maybe do a small tour of dive bars just to get some new audience members.

Just a thought. I know you can get an audience if people just knew about you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah yeah, Kazakhstan, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is the director of KELOLAND SOTA. Chris, enjoy, hold on to the best of you, Chris. And that's me Brian. And that's you out there on the podcast, Universe. I got my man card. Yes you did.

I got my man card. You just checked it. Something broke here in the studio, and it required that tool, electronic tools, like tools that move on their own. Come into play. The screw gun. The screw gun, as Jeff would call it.

The screw gun. Yes. Does he really call it a screw gun? Oh, God. I'm... Yes. Does he really call it a screwdriver? Yeah, but it's real. Not a gun. It kinda is a gun. Oh, it doesn't shoot anything.

But I get it. I get it. Listen, I'm not one to cast stones and a glass house. As I say so many times on the commercial break. This is a real challenge for me. I am not inclined to be good at any of that shit. If it requires it, I build something, take something apart, or in any way, critically think through steps

in a book that say instructions, I am not good at any of that stuff. I'm just not. I'll never have been. I probably never will be. I did not pick that up for my father who has literally tinned the tool man, Taylor. My dad is too.

If something is broken, my dad just goes, oh, it's the Fickity duty. Yeah, look at the reaction. We'll put it in the sypity sobbing. It'll be good as new. And I'm like, whatever you said, Dad, can you fix mine also? Yeah.

He's just good at that stuff. He's naturally good at it. As are some of my brothers, it just didn't fall on me. Now, I have tried as a human and as a man, man, human. I've tried to get myself up to speed because I want my children to look at me and have that same awe that I had of my father because I really wasn't awe. I was like, wow, that can fix anything. With literally spit and glue, like he fixes shit.

You're the rubber band. You're the rubber band, that's right, or a hair tie, or whatever, he fixes those little things you get on the end of the bread packages. Yes. Yeah, my dad got that all day long. He fixes shit so quick, and he identifies the problem and he knows which tool to use.

And then I have a business partner named Scott. And Scott is like the ultimate handyman. He literally plummed this house, branded, brand new plumbing. And then he was like bitching that he didn't know how to do, he's like, I don't know how to do the regular dudes is about to be me. And I'm like, I turn on the shower, it works, hot water comes out, I'm like, it's fine,

cares, it's working. So I often find myself texting stupid questions to Scott asking him whether or not he knows how to do it. And of course he does, he looks at me like an idiot because I am an idiot. I'm telling you, every time I pull into the car place, they see a sucker coming a mile away. Here he comes.

Here he comes. There radio in it. And other, say, I'll be poor. But, better get that blinker fluid, boy. I told you, this is all because you forgot to put banker food in. I, you were here last time. I know, I know.

I thought I got a croagard, save myself a dollar, but I guess you get the better blinker fluid. Yeah. On the good side. What child is blinker fluid on? Yeah. When I go to Home Depot, it's like a foreign country to me. But again, I've been trying over the last five or six years

as we've had a kid every six months. I've been trying to like, I want my kids also to be a little bit in awe of their dad's superpowers. I'm ultra strong. I can fly them up in the air. I can tackle and wrestle and I can, you know, do, I can open superpowers. Ultra strong, I can fly them up in the air, I can tackle and wrestle, and I can, you know, do, I can open any jar, I can rip open any package with my strong, manly hands, and I want them to sense

that when something is wrong or broken, dad, you go to dad and he knows how to fix it. One of my kids has literally been asking me for four weeks to change the batteries in one of these toys they have, but because I'm not sure which kind of tool I need to open up the bottom of the battery pack, I can't fix it.

So I'm like, we gotta wait, I gotta get to a Amazon, I gotta call somebody, I gotta, I gotta get on the phone with customers. I keep making excuses to my kid as to why the batteries aren't changed. I just don't know. So Chrissy is playing with the microphone here and the microphone just pops, it like cracks off the table and I'm like, oh shit, that ain't good. You know

like five dollar table for my Kia. And so I go, let me go get the tools. And Chrissy goes, what are you using there? Screw gun and like screw gun. That's a screw gun. It's because those are Jeff calls it. Have I given you an electric screwdriver? Yeah. But then yesterday, but listen to this. This is so apropos that we're talking about this right now. For two months, three months maybe, the toilet in the guest room where the guests live or come and stay. The toilet in the guest room has been leaking, incisively. It's like that noise.

Look at that, you can hear and leaking. And you can also hear your money leaking. Yeah. But more than that, what I hear is my manliness leaking because I understand inherently that I do not want to take... Was it the stopper? It wasn't the stopper, but it was something around the stopper. It was in the stopper area.

So I can hear this leaking. So I tell Astrid, I'm like, let's just turn the water off because then I know it's not leaking, right? So I turn the water off, but I am scared. It's literally scared to pick up the top of that toilet, knowing that there's gonna be complicated machinery in there that I'm gonna have to identify where something is going wrong. And I'm really nervous about this

because I don't know what a fucking toilet does. I flush it, the shit goes away. You know what I'm saying? Really? Yes. Really. Yes. I mean, I've looked in toilets before. I generally understand how they work. There's a thing and a... The lever. The lever of the thing and a chain. And then there's a stopper. Yeah. There's a balloon thing. That's right. The balloon, right? So my parents are coming for a few days and Astrid says we got to get that toilet

fix. I mean, you don't want to have to somebody to walk all the way across the house to use the toilet And I'm thinking to myself yes, I do because I really can we just put a big police tape over there. Yeah Bathroom that's right Brian There's a cone. I've got a bad case of diarrhea. I've got a bad case of Diadie. This is the orange kind on top of the toilet. Yes. Flares, I shoot up flares outside the house.

It's like a... So yesterday morning, I got a wig in my wuddle. You know, I'm talking about it. I'm gonna fix this fucking thing. I'm gonna do it. The kids are gonna watch me do it. I saw it crack. Gather the children. I'm gonna fix this fucking thing. I'm gonna do it. The kids are gonna watch me do it. I saw it crack. Gather the children.

I'm like, come on, children. Gather around about daddy opens the top of the toilet. And I open the top of the toilet. Everyone's staring at the toilet. As I open it, I open the top of the toilet. And it's just, and I turn the water on. And it's just like spewing out water. I mean, the water's literally spraying out of the toilet

on my daughter, on one of my daughters. And she's like, ah! And I'm like, get away, get away! Something's wrong! You need a shield. Yes, a shield. So now there's water spraying all over me. And you know, even though I know the water

is perfectly clean, it's coming from the top of the toilet, not at the bottom. Yeah, but I am like, I'm actually like a three year old. I'm like, ah, poopies! That's a big poopies! ah, poopies! That's beautiful! It's beautiful, baby! Ah! Ha!

Ha! P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P So that I can go to Home Depot and if I need to, which I won't, but if I need to, I will ask someone for help, right? But I don't wanna ask for help because then I'm that guy who's asking for help. So I go in, Chrissy, I walk him down that plumbing aisle, at least five times to see where the toilet shit is, and right on the fucking wall, right on the goddamn thing, it says toilet repair, and I'm walking back in force. Where is it? Where is it? So I have to repair. And I'm walking back in force. Where is it?

Where is it? So I have to ask. And I'm like, I find one of those orange coats, you know, and I'm like, hey, look, I took some pictures. You see what's happening here in my toilet? And he's like, yep, aisle four, whatever. aisle four, bay three, right? And I've walked by it four or five times.

I can't see where this thing is. aisle four, bay three. And I'm like, are you sure because I walk by it? He starts walking. Are you sure? Are you sure you work here? Are you sure? You have a penis. Are you sure your penis is bigger than mine? So we walked together over there. Then he hands me this package. And it's got the whole inside of the toilet thingies are there. Like all the toilet thingies. And he's got the whole inside of the toilet thingies are there, like all the toilet thingies. And he's like, this will fix any toilet for any reason. Follow the instructions, lots of videos online.

You may only need to repair the part that is actually broken, but if you want to, now you have a whole inside of the toilet. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got the serial number of that, he's like, dude, toilet. A toilet is a toilet. He's like, do you have some $10,000 or todo toilet? That's a one piece, you know, but they bullshit that plugs into the,

and I'm like, no, I just have a regular toilet. He's like, toilets are toilets, bro. It's gonna fix it. He's like, there's no difference. It's a two-piece toilet. It's a two-piece toilet fixer. Get home. I cannot open the package.

I cannot open the package. It's one of those. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You It's one of those. You know what I'm saying? Like it was sealed in a secret compartment in Mount Shasta to survive aliens landing on earth and detonating a nuclear bomb the size of Pluto. And I'm like, Jesus, Jones. So my kids are standing there watching me

and they're like, I'm playing with you. No, no, no, no, we're gonna fix the toilet. We're gonna fix the toilet for Popeye Graham's. Don't, you know. So I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm doing the whole number. Asher comes in, grabs the scissors out of the thing,

slams them down on the counter, it goes, cut it. Yeah, cut it, you have to cut those. That's not what a man does. Let me get another tool so I can do this tool. Yeah, you have to cut those, but it's like extraordinarily strong plastic that's on the front and that can cut you. It's insane. Yeah. When cut those, but it's like extraordinarily strong plastic that's on the front and that can cut you. It's insane.

Yeah. When did we decide that this is like, we're hiding Fort Knox in a fucking $29 piece of shit toilet fixing thing? When did we decide that we have to safeguard all of our toys with all the plastic that's gonna end up in the ocean three days from now? It's awful.

For so many reasons, it's awful. We get so many toys around this house. You know, people sending gifts and birthdays and stuff. Oh yeah. And every single toy is a 30-hour adventure to open and get the batteries in. And it's awful. When I was a kid, you literally picked it up off the shelf and toys are us. And then you paid for it and that was it.

Yeah. You had your toy, that was that. I don't know what's going on. Anyway, I get it open. Now I'm like, okay kids, now we're gonna go, we're gonna fix the toys. Everybody piles in. One of the kids closes the door, I don't know why.

This is tiny little thing, you know, they love closing doors. So they close the door, now we're all standing in there. They're turning on and off the water of the faucet. They're playing in the shower. They're throwing shampoo everywhere. And I'm just trying to concentrate on actually understanding how to do this.

So I read through the instructions, it might as well have been hieroglyphics. I don't know what the fuck these people were saying. Something about the plunger and the balloon and stick the thing in, make sure you turn the water off. Well, I just decide I can figure this out. It's literally just screw it in. Yes, that's how it's easy, it's gonna be. Sure. Chrissy, I turn off the water because I knew that part. Turn

off the water, unplug it, you know, take the tube off the toilet, take the water tube, the tube that connects the water to the toilet. I take that off and it's got the little turny thing at the about turny thing. That is the scientific name. Yes, it's a turny thing. It's a screw gun. That is the scientific name. Yes, it's a, is it anything? It's a screw gun. So I, then I take the broken part out, then I manage to put a packet. This should have taken any half-witted man, woman,

or otherwise, in this universe, 30 seconds to do. I was in there for 48 minutes to try and get this thing out and then put the new thing in. I told you to mark the water line. I didn't even pay attention to that part. I was just like, whatever. I'm screwing this in. I'm doing it.

It's going to fix it. But you take off the balloon part and now there's like a, there's a little box where the water pours in and turns off. It's like one of these new fangled fuckers. I don't know what the fuck's going on. So I get it all done. I screw it all in. I kind of shake it just to make sure, you know, that's my test. If I shake it, done. I screw it all in. I kind of shake it just to make

sure, you know, that's my test. If I shake it, it doesn't break, then it's okay. I shake it, it doesn't break. It's okay. So now I'm like, okay, kids, I got it done. Well, the kids are covered in shampoo, water, and everything else. I've got a vision. Well, I've got it this. That's awesome. My daughter is just like taking shampoo and putting it on her face. And she's like, Daddy, make up, make up. And I'm like, yep, make up, rip your skin off, but go sit in the sun for a couple of minutes, daughter. So then I'm like, okay, kids, you ready?

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna get out of here. Yeah, bubblegreens toilet's fixed. Okay, here we go. I turn on the water and all of my daughter, who has already been splashed by water once, is standing next to the toilet, looking into the toilet to see when the water is gonna come you know and as is all the kids and all of this sudden she starts water spraying all over her face all over her shirt and I'm like what's going on? What's going on? But there's no water going in the toilet so I'm like hey, what are you doing? I think she's got the faucet on her some time.

I take her I throw her off to the side now I'm getting sprayed with water and I'm like, hey, hey, what are you doing? I think she's got the faucet on her, sometimes. I take her, I throw her off to the side. Now I'm getting sprayed with water, and I'm like, what the fuck? Literally half an inch of water on my floor now, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I never attached the hose back to the toilet. It's literally just spraying out everywhere. Turn off the hose.

Your shake test didn't catch that one. Chrissy, I am so bad at this. I need so much help. There should be a course. Wasn't there like a home economics course at one point? Or woodworking or something like that? Yeah, like the birth of those. You did?

That was not available at my school. And did you learn, you felt like good, critical thinking and critical skills? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I just missed that part. I don't know what happened. Yeah, at least know what to do. Know whether I can, you know, so very well know. But, you know,, at least know what to do. No, whether I can, you know, so very well. No

But you know, I at least learned how to do it. I learned how things should work. Yes I left woodworking actually. I don't think I don't think it was class that were available to me. I don't know Maybe that's a big room. You did yeah, like a wooden car. Yeah, then we raised them way more than I can do You know this whole studio is like put together by Astrid and her dad. Yes. And I'm just so. Thank goodness. You know, we have these big soundproof panels

that were handmade and then hung from the ceiling because we have vaulted ceilings here from the ceiling so that they're perfectly flat, where I want them so that, you know, the sound, so they can catch the sound. How I know that, I don't't know I just made it all up. There's a fan up there so it doesn't hit the fan. It's like amazing chains, but it's all beautiful.

It's all like tucked in and beautiful. It is. So I just am so envious. You know, I made one of those panels. I know. We were just hung it. And I hung it. And it fell 15 minutes after I hung it.

It fell and crashed on the on the floor So then Daniel comes in and he just hey the meal Brian He says that all the time. He he speaks under his breath all the time. I love my father. Yeah I have the best father in the world I could not ask for a better father. He is really amazing and he's funny and he's fun And he likes to kick back and have a good time. And he is even more way more than my dad. He is the epitome. He builds shirts. He builds shit like a house. He built a house in my backyard. Yes. I didn't want the pool equipment sticking out.

So we built a house around it. And I'm like, that's amazing. That's amazing, Dan. How did you do that? And he did it basically by himself. He built tools that allowed him to do it by himself. So he built tools that would act like a second person. He built tools. So he didn't have to hire anybody else to come and help tools. Oh, that's you.

No, no, no, no, no. He knows way better than that. He didn't ask. I wish he would ask me. But one time we spent like a month down somewhere, like renovating some property, him and I, to save some money on this terrible investment we made, like all the other investments we're not making.

And so we spent a month down there. And so him and I were like in close contact, close quarters, and all I did was hold stuff, right? Hold the paint. Hold, yeah, scalpel, and all I did was hold stuff, right? Hold the paint. Hold, yeah, scalpel, paint, cock, cock gun. What's that? A cock gun, you want a cock gun? Did you say cock gun?

Give me the, give me the, what? Give me the screw gun. Yes. Give me the screw gun. Drill. See, you just held things. That's all he would allow you to do. Give me the screw gun. Drill. See, you just held things. That's all he would allow you to do. Chrissy within 12 hours.

He identified that Brian was useless as a tit on a bowl. And he decided he's good for holding things. So I basically stood under his ladder the entire time handing him stuff. But even I couldn't get that right. So I just started to notice that Daniel was like talking under his breath at me. He'd be like, I do me, Brian.

I, I, I, I, Brian. Sometimes I'm not even doing anything any day. He's like, I, Brian. He just yells at me under his breath, but I'm not even there. Sometimes I'll like walk down the hallway and get, they comfort stretches of time. Sometimes I'll walk walk down the hallway, and they comfort stretches of time. Sometimes I'll walk down the hallway,

and he's on his computer, and I just hear as I eat the meal, but I eat that pride. That pride. Sort of sub-al my problems, but I eat. It is. Poor bastard, who speaks pretty good English,

but he doesn't speak fluent English. Poor bastard speaks pretty good English. His favorite saying is, I eat the meal,. But I can. Connoir de la Vade. He was doing it when we were in spades. He's like, I bright. I'd be like, ah, we just took the kids on a ride.

It was wonderful. We had a great time. I bright. Going to the beach with the kids I Brian Like that what is that Hey happy birthday kids I Brian is that it again is that it again is not the kids birthday. I'm right. It was two weeks ago. I

Footies fucking story Astrid wakes up on Thursday and we're talking about our plans. We're on the other town. I talked before talking about our plans and so well and I say hey listen We're gonna go out to eat with these people on Tuesday when we're wherever we go. And she says, oh, well, that's a great anniversary dinner to bring the ass people to come. And I'm like, that's not our anniversary. Hoping that that's not our anniversary.

And she's like, no, you're right, it's Monday. And I go, ah, I told you. I told you I'd do. So yesterday, I wake up and there's an alert on my phone, happy anniversary on my phone that I put happy anniversary. And I'm like, nope, I'm not going to be fooled, Brian. I'm not going to be fooled by your bad brain, Brian. Your anniversary is on Monday.

Yeah, you're in the day before reminder. That's right. Well, no, it said the, it was yesterday. Yeah. When I woke up on Sunday, it said that it was today, not a day before a mountain. It said it is today. Oh, okay, gotcha. Okay. So I, but I'm, I'm like, nope, I've been fooled by this.

You know how many appointments I've shown up to therapy appointments, doctors, I literally showed up for a doctor's appointment the other day. I thought I had a physical and the lady's like, no, you're here to see the neurologist. And I'm like, I'm here to see her. Why do I need a neurologist? And she's like, I don't know, you made the appointment. And I'm like, no, it's my physical. She's like, your physical's in two weeks. I'm like, well, then why am I here?

She goes, I don't know. I don't even know why I've made the appointment with a neurologist. A neurotic. Anyway. It was something that was bothering you at the time. I know. It's something about something. I don't know.

I had a headache one time. I called a neurologist. So I, uh, so I go, nope, nope, nope, nope, Ryan, don't be fooled by your stupid brain. The anniversary is tomorrow. But I keep, and that's, cause I keep thinking to myself, well then Monday must be the sixth,

but actually yesterday, Sunday was the sixth. So anyway, whatever. So we're having lunch yesterday. It's 2.30 in the afternoon, and Asher turns around, and she's like washing a dish and she drops the dish and she looks at me and she goes, happy in aversary. And I go, nope, tomorrow she goes, no, it's today.

And I go, you told me it was tomorrow. She goes, I know, I didn't even remember what day it was. So Astrid and I literally forgot that it was our anniversary. And you know what the first thing I heard when I realized the kerfuffle that we were in, the conundrum that caused, I go, I can hear Daniel going, Hi, Brian.

I hear it in my sleep. I'm such a good dick, who wants to be married to me. What an asshole. What an asshole. I'm such a good dick. Who wants to be very good at that? What did that all? What did that all? Oh, good times at the green household. I got my man card this morning. I fixed it.

Look, the microphone's still standing. That's what I can... Everything looked fine to me. I mean, you, you spring into action quickly. I did. I just say you, you spring into action. I held the microphone. You said, hold on, I know exactly what to do. Yes. I know exactly what to do. You said, hold on, I'm not exactly what to do.

Yes, I know exactly what to do. You grab the wrong screwdriver, but then you grab the right one. That's right. I grabbed the wrong screw gun, but then I brought the right screw gun. I put the right bullets in the screw gun chamber. I actually did know what to do in this circumstance.

You did, so. Because I screwed him in originally. That's why they broke. Oh. Hey, you, my podcast friend, I just popped in to say that you are the best part of TCB. And to show our appreciation, we want to give you a free WWFD sticker. It's the Whatwood Frankie Doe sticker you've been asking for. It's number four in our series of stickers and you get one just for being a friend of TCB. Go to TCBpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to sticker and drop us your

physical address. Those FedEx men will be at your door post-taste. We want to hear from you, your wild and wacky stories, dating disasters, ask TCB questions, and now you can ask Brian's mom for terrible advice. Hey, I learned my terrible advice giving skills from someone and my mom is that person. 1. 855-TCB-8383. toll free from anywhere in the world is where you can send us your questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas.

It's a real live phone line where we actually respond. 855-TCB-8383. At the commercial break on Insta and TCB podcast on TikTok. And please do me one more favor. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break on Insta and TCB podcast on TikTok. And please, do me one more favor. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe to that channel. Morgan does a great job editing the videos to be released on the same day at Ayers here on the podcast feed.

Now let's listen to a word from our sponsors who keep this rambling wreck, fueled up, and ready to rock. And then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. This episode is sponsored in part by Rocket Money. During the pandemic, I won on an epic run of bad financial luck. In part because I kept buying billboards in Iowa for the commercial break. Upon further investigation as to where exactly my money was going, I discovered that many, many subscription services were hitting my bank account or my credit

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for 30 days, absolutely free. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash TCB. That's rocketmoney.com slash TCB. We've been using it for a long time. We love it. Rocketmoney.com slash TCB and thank you to Rocketmoney for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Chris, I was reading on the internet.

As you do. As I do like to do and two things I want to comment on. First of all, I love our fucking listeners. They are so great, y'all are so great. You have been sending in such kind notes and words of affirmation and everyone's asking further what would Frankie Stickers do. They're going out this week so you should see him in the mail in the next couple of weeks. And some people asking for autographs, that's cool.

We like that, go ahead, ask us. But everybody really leaving very nice words. And I just want to say this like with a tinge of sincerity, that's hard to do on the commercial ring. We get a lot of really nice words here. But what we are hearing a lot of, and I think is just like tickles the bottom of my heart and the top of my balls, is when people say, you're really funny, but there's something underneath that that is sincere, it's subversive, right?

You're making commentary that I find interesting, or the friendship shines through, or there's some... Yeah, it's real. There's something there. Now, I don't know how real any of the commercial break is, but I'll share this with you. Fact news or fiction, but I'll share this with you. When you tell us words like that, it puts,

it puts. Oh, I know, I love that. Gas in the tank, as far as I'm concerned, because it's a long, hard slog, where I'm not complaining. There's nothing to complain about here. We literally laugh for a living, yes. But I will say that, you know, you can,

you don't get a lot, we don't get instant feedback. No. The only instant feedback I get is Chrisys laughing. But I know I could say anything and Chrisys would laugh because she thinks I'm funny. I do. So I just want to share that we really love when you write in kind notes, it's wonderful.

So thank you very much. And your stickers are on the way, the much, and your stickers are on the way. The other thing is your stickers are on the way, Lee Miller. What I did want to do is something we haven't done in a such a long time. It's been at least six months, at least six months. Since we've done a good, hard, asked TCB.

What do you say, we get into it? Oh, I'm not lazy, yeah. That's absolutely. Now, there are a lot of you have written and asked TCB. I cannot get to all of them. I really appreciate it. And every one of you got a note back and just know that we love you

and you may come up in a future episode. I'm just kind of cherry pick the ones that I think are interesting for the day. So here we go, you ready? I'm ready. Todd asks the following. I truncated the question. Hi, Todd.

I think Todd was from Michigan. Todd, love you. Mean it. Todd says, I truncated the question, hi Todd, I think Todd was from Michigan, Todd, love you. Mean it. Todd says, I'm 31 years old. I've only been in love twice in my life. However, both of the women I fell in love with ended up leaving me for another woman. Oh, what am I doing wrong?

Everything, Todd, I just have to share that with you. What are you doing wrong? I don't know how I'm as possibly supposed to know that, but I can see how this would really strike at your at your I don't know. This feels a little amasculating. Sure. Yeah, I can I can see that. What would drive a woman into the arms of another woman? It's really I don't think it's like that. I think it's that maybe you're just more receptive to something totally different than what you've got. You are so awful, Todd.

That people wanted to go in the other direction, 100% of the other direction. Or maybe you're just unwilling, unknowingly, is kind of leaning more towards someone that, you know, he doesn't even realize it, but they're already thinking about that. I would say this, it's 2023. We should not have ever been, but now I think it's way more acceptable than it ever has been, because that's how progression works. We progress in our minds. Yeah, you try different things.

You try different things. And it's way more acceptable now to be in a relationship with different sexes over the course of your lifetime. Would ever you wanna do, you know? I mean, there are people who are buying cereal that some girl took a bath in. And they're proudly showing themselves on TikTok as if they're ever gonna get another job. You know what I'm saying?

So I wouldn't be too, I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about this Todd. First of all, always be open to love. Always, always, always open your heart, give 100% and wait for the reciprocation. Don't be afraid. Don't let this shy you away from the next situation. Because, you know what?

I think it actually shows. I think what it actually shows is that you are, maybe you should look at it the other way around. Maybe these girls were always attracted to girls, but you are so wonderful that they took a break and had a relationship with a man. He didn't realize he's maybe attracted to a woman that already likes women.

Yes, I would never, ever give it another, don't even bat your eyes about this. Well, it depends to me on kind of how things ended. Was it, did he do something and then she left and went to a woman or was it everything is going totally fine in his mind and then she leaves. Because I could be for a man, a woman or a man or whatever. Yeah, Todd, here's a follow-up question you can answer. Did you get ghosted and then you found out she was in a relationship with a woman or

did this like slowly break apart and then you saw a couple months later that she was with happened to be with a woman. I don't think a woman part should bother you too much. And if it does bother you, just flip this situation and look at it, change your perspective. I think it was Dr. Wayne Dyer that says when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change, right? And so maybe the reality for you is that you're looking at it like I took this straight girl and I turned her gay, but maybe you took this girl who liked to be with women also and she bestowed

upon you her love because she thought she was such a wonderful dude. Either that or you're just an ass hat. No one likes you Todd. You know, I don't know what your personal situation is. I don't know how the all-whole relationship went out. But do not be afraid of love just because these two situations pitch you in the ass. I have been with girls who were declarative sentence, I am lesbian. Right? I have been with girls, like physically... Intimid? Yeah. Intimid.

Yes. I don't know if you call it intimate but i was physically close physically close that's right intimate to denotes uh... denotes there was some kind of tenderness uh... going on between the two of us i think it was just a lot of alcohol i have been with but knowing god damn well i was not going to turn a lesbian straight. That was not going to happen.

We were just having some fun with it. And so I wouldn't ever shy away from the next situation because you are feeling like you're turning women into lesbians. That's more than likely not happening. No. Could be. Could be Todd. I don't know you.

You can't. I don't think you turn somebody. You don't turn. Yeah. I think that's something that's kind of embedded in you. So stuff, sticky situation. The reason why I picked your question, Todd, is because I'd love to have a follow up on this. What were those two relationships like? Like how did you break up with them? And was there any inkling that they had been attracted to or had relationships with women before they met you? Because you just might have missed the signs like you know if you met your significant other out of lesbian bar It's likely you were just happy to get lucky for a couple of it. You know what I'm saying? I don't know the whole story so I'd like to know a little bit more so share with us Todd and I texted him back

But he hasn't responded that was like two months ago So maybe he just decided to leave his love life off the commercial break too late. So sorry. Yeah. So sad, too bad. All right, Jerry says, and I think Jerry. Hello, Jerry.

Jerry might be a girl. I love you, TCB. When I find your show, when I found your show, I realized just how great a friend chat cast could be. Why are you not more popular? I love this. I think she's saying this without a bit of irony, by the way. Well, no more more people like you. Have you ever thought about advertising the show? Maybe do a small tour of dive bars just to get some new audience members Just a thought I know you can get an audience if people just knew about you. I like the dive bar idea

Love this idea. That's probably where we can sell out. I mean I shine on stages at dive bars Chrissy does shine It's hard not to it's hard to turn away, actually, when, it's hard to turn away when, Chrissy's. Does that excite you? Yes, it does. Let me share the stories about Chrissy on stages

at dive bars. I told this, the drums. Oh, there's more than one. It's not just one. Oh, I know. I do like a good stage. You do like a good stage. And you're so good at it.

So this is like, give me a bow and a stage and a dive bar and give her a bow and sunglasses. Get a one and soda and some sunglasses and you're gonna have high entertainment I'm just glad there was actual security at Lala Paloza to stop her from going on the main stage. I did go on this stage later You did I didn't know that I would on the stage for Kurt Bile you did At least it wasn't for radio You did? Yeah. At least it wasn't for radio fans. What?

Mm. Oh. Chris, he goes into a die bar. It's die bar here in Atlanta that we had been kind of frequenting. And there's like a rage against the machine cover band that plays and they were really good, actually. You do have to say that.

They were really good. They were better than 33p. I don't even know. Yeah. Killing in the name of some of those that want to force it. Are the ones that burn the crosses. Some of them that want to force it. Oh, the ones that burn crosses.

So we just get done watching this cover band. You can imagine all the energy in the room, like testosterone, energy. And the band jumps off. It's like one o'clock in the morning. The place is getting ready to close. They have like, you know, they're not for 45 minutes before they're gonna wrap it up. Band gets off stage.

They're all mingling and they're, everyone's kind of, you know, surrounding this band because what a great job they didn't all this other stuff. And all of a sudden, all I hear is just like the clinking and clanking of drums, like the cymbals and the tambourine and the snare. And I was facing the bar at the time because I think I was trying to hit on the bartender. As usual. That's why I

never got laid coming out of a bar because I hit on the one person in the bar. It was never going to be tricked by my shenanigan. It was sober. The only person. And it couldn't leave. That's true. Couldn't leave. But I was not the kind of guy to be like, hey, baby, what you doing later?

Nice. I was always the kind of guy that would be like, sulky at the bar and like drinking. They make a funny one liner as she passed by. Am I right? Mondays. Am I right? like, sulky at the bar and like drinking, like, make a funny one liner as she passes by. Am I right? Mondays. Am I right? Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. You see the new Star Wars? Am I right? Can I get another buttlight? Am I right? Say, you got the camp services that come here. Hey, you want to look at my new Honda?

It's just got one hand. One square. It's got one half of an engine. You want to ride around in this bad boy? If you ever been to an apartment complex pool or the average age is 19, yeah, I have. They call me Uncle Brian. They call me Uncle Brian and sit on the other side of the pool. So anyway, so I hear this and then I'm doing whatever at the bar and I think to myself, please don't let that be Chrissy. And I turn around and Chrissy is trying to drum on the drums,

but there's no sticks. So she's using her hands and instantaneously security is on fleek. They're like, ah! They run up and they're like, no, no, it's cool. I'm a jammers. It's cool. Anyway. We had good times. You're right. We should think about getting an audience sometimes. We haven't thought about that. Apparently, Jerry doesn't also live in, where did we advertise in that billboard? Iowa. Iowa and LA. In LA. She doesn't live on Mulholland Drive and happy to be driving, you know, staring at billboard at 3.30 in the morning. Or, you know, Davenport, Iowa. I was like the pandemic.

It was just then that it was a shutdown. I know. That's why he got a good deal. That's why I got a great deal. That's why I was able to advertise in Los Angeles for a dollar. It's because there was nobody on the street. We have we have advertised the show quite a bit, Jerry, and just to share and not be braggadocious. You know, we got a few listeners. We're doing okay for ourselves, I think. Yeah, we're doing okay for it. And that's why we love you is because

it's all about you guys. I mean, we're talking into microphones. This is what we did before we started the podcast. Yeah, we're just now doing it on the actual show. But thank you, Jerry. We are thinking about doing a tour. We'll get back to you on that. And by tour, I mean, we're gonna play an open mic and Charles thing next to my buddy. That's right.

Oh, by the way, somebody on my Facebook wrote me not the dude that I was talking about, where he was saying, like, I'm going to a couple of open mics, my summer tour. He called it without a bit of irony, by the way. He wasn't making a joke. This, he does this all the time. And then now he, he like kicked me off his face, but not blocked me from Facebook, but I don't think he listens to the show because I think he has no clue that we even do this

show. I don't post on Facebook about commercial break. But somebody else who is a guitarist, who also is like one of these guys who tours around does weddings and stuff like that, he shot me a note. And was like, hey, man, just listen to your most, just listen to this episode, thought it was really funny.

Are youth referring to me when you say the musician who quotes his summer tour? And I was like, no, but you do that? But it could have been a fight. Yeah, it could have been a fight. Why not? Okay. summer tour and i was like no but you do that i get a bite of that could fight you but i okay number three comes from derrell derrell says my wife and i fight all the time about what we will listen to or what we will watch one thing we do agree upon however is t c b my wife's name is maggy can you say hi to her? She will freak out.

Maggie. Hi Maggie. Hi Maggie. Uh, divorce immediately. If the only thing you can agree upon is the commercial break you're bound for trouble. Divorce your guy immediately. I'm looking at it from another perspective

and that's that we're bringing people together. Oh, well you could look at it like that. I think that's what's really going on. This one, this one gets my go. I love to see that people are listening to the commercial break together. Because me personally, I listened to it in a side of it. I listened to it with the windows up. And I get in the closet with the turquoise and a blanket over your head. Yeah. This is for a vine-weenewee before we went on vacation. You know, I had to go get that new car

because the one blew up, I had to go get the other one from our good boy Steve, convinced me to spend way more money than I showed up. Right. So I'm driving in my brand new 2003, whatever. And I pull up to a light, I got the commercial break on. We're talking about, I think we're talking about something about penises, which is probably every episode

of commercial break. But I remember. That is a narrower down. Yeah, I remember I'm screaming something about Dix or penises, probably the hey girl shit or whatever. And I got the windows rolled down and I'm at a stop, like I look over and there is a lady, probably a little older than I am in her 50s or 60s.

And she's just a Karen, you know she's just a Karen. It's just like she's got it all over her face. She's got that each shit look on her face. And she turned, I turned to her and she's staring right at me. And she's like, she goes like this, like that. And I was, I thought to myself, I should actually roll up the window.

This is awful. And then there's the one time I pulled up to the school, not realizing that I had the commercial break blaring out of my thing. Definitely, definitely keep it down at the school. I had one of those conversations this weekend with a friend of a friend and he goes, oh man, I just got a chance to listen to the commercial break for the first time. And I was like, oh yeah, really? And then not another word. Silence.

Silence. Yeah, that's what I get too. What is going on? And then that's when, that's how it's not for everyone, because that was my response to the silence. Yeah. Silence is silence, well? It's not for everyone, because that was my response to the silence. Yeah. Silence is silence, well.

It's not for everyone. That's why. Anyways, I gotta get some more turkey. That was like a Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is gonna be really uncomfortable this summer after the Irving funeral. Hey, listen, we love to see that this brings you together. Hi, Maggie.

It's Brian and Chrissy, and we wanted to say that your husband is together. Hi, Maggie. It's Brian and Chrissy. And we wanted to say that your husband is terrific. He turned you on to the commercial break. Yes. Keep this. We're sending you a sticker. Don't worry. Okay, another one.

I left out the name on this one just because. But anyway, why do you yell at blue so much? You sound like a mean old man. Leave blue alone. Also, can you sign a sticker for me? Oh, I'm going to sign a sticker for you. And that sticker is going to come on the back of blue because blue is headed your direction. I'm going to literally Amazon you. You could turn anyone mean is the truth of things here. She is a little bit of a frustrating dog. She's a little bit of a frustrating dog. She's a little bit of a frustrating dog.

She's very sweet in some instances, and in others, she just, it's very frustrating. And by some instances, she means sedated for surgery. Blues a wonderful dog. She's just her own little creature. And I appreciate her. And what you don't see, I act like the old Kermudgeon here, and I do get frustrated when she barks

in the middle of recording. But she is... She's a barkie dog. She's a barkie dog. Yeah, but I told the astridist the day that we got her. I said, honey, if we're gonna get a Yorkie. See, Astrid didn't want dog at all, because she comes from Venezuela, and they have dogs,

but they were outside dogs. And they were big German shepherds, and they were there for one reason, and one reason only. Per tecnic. Seekin' destroyed. Yeah, seekin' destroyed. and they were big German shepherds and they were there for one reason and one reason only security destroy yeah seeking destroyed but then answered when she got here was like you know I wanted a dog so she was like let's get a dog I looked it up I researched it let's get a Yorkie and I said to myself and her honey right before we go into this trailer I remember first of all all, I said, I said, stay in the car. And if I yell, run to the car, run away.

That's the way it goes. My mom got so many of those like, you know, full, full breed. Yeah, yeah, full breed. But what is the, the pure bread, the pure bread, full breed, full breed, screw gun. The pure breads. And they are, they're like in the middle of the country somewhere with you and you gotta be careful. There's no kidding that happens with pure breads. Yeah, and what we found out about our Yorkie who ended up weighing about 27 pounds is I don't even think she's a Yorkie at all.

She's this third kind of breed. There's like a Yorkshire, like there's not even such thing as a miniature Yorkshire. It's just like, they've been bred to be small, but they still are York. Anyway, there's a third kind that has nothing to do with Yorkies that look like anyway. Whatever I say to ask her right before we get out of that, out of that car to go get that dog. And I'll never forget it either.

Well, she, I said, honey, I just want you to be sure this is the kind of dog that you want because you gotta realize these dogs are very high maintenance. And she was like, no, I will take care of it. It'll be fine. She's gonna be sweet and blue ended up, she was like, no, we'll take care of it. It'll be fine. She's going to be sweet.

And blue ended up, she for the first month, she go to us into believing that she was the best dog in the world because she never barked. And I mean, let's admit she's super cute still. She is super cute. She is. She's super cute. You ever look a lot of things with looks. In relationships and in dogs, we can forgive a lot when they look at you with puppy

dog eyes. You know what I'm saying? It's an age old trick. If your personality doesn't get him, your good looks will. That's how I look at it. And blue isn't a adorable dog. The other night, I've been letting her back up on the bed because, you know, she's, I don't feel bad for her now. And she's getting older and all the kids because, you know, she's, I don't feel bad for her now, and she's getting older and all the kids,

and you know, she's all the attention's away from her. She used to be the only thing in the house that we pay attention to. Now, anyway, she didn't get paid any attention to. The only attention she gets is hair pulling and tail pulling and, you know, kids grabbing her eyeballs and, and she's so sweet with them.

She never bites. She is very sweet with them. She just, she just takes it. That's what she does, and she loves those children. So that's the saving grace for blue. Yes. So I start letting her sleep at the foot of the bed again. I'm like, okay, whatever.

Come sleep on the foot of the bed. Well, the other day I wake up, and I think my kid has come into the bed and crawling on my shoulder, and I wake up, and then I, and then I, and then I, and I'm like, fuck!

Give an inch, take a mile, every time, blue. Every time! All right, okay, one more. This one is from Chrissy. Is your name, ready? Sure. What do I say? Chrissy with a K.

Yeah, Chrissy with a K. What do I say to my new friend who has been begging my new boyfriend who has been begging for some Piggy fronting action in my ass I Have no intention of letting him in that back door, but I don't wanna lose him. I've been coy and I haven't told him directly, I am not interested in the least in Assex, but now I feel the need to say something

before he tries to sneak it in. No, hell, no, there's no sneaking in now. There's no sneaking it in, first of all, that's unknown. No, no, no, no. You've never had Assex before because you're not into it, but let me give you a heads up on S-secs. It's another one of those things that sounds great on paper,

but, and I know lots of people who enjoy it, so don't get me wrong, and I know there's lots of nerve endings and all that stuff back there. I find it to be a messy debacle that I'm not interested in. Do you know? There needs to be a little preparation there.

A lot of preparation, H. Preparation H, that's what you need. You gotta do a bunch of communication. You gotta clean yourself out, you gotta communicate, you gotta go slow, you gotta use lots of lube. It's a whole lower deal. Now, again, I know there's lots of people who like anal sex, and if porn is any indication,

every person has anal sex, but I don't think that's true. And I don't find it to be the most pleasant experience and I'm on the giving end. I can't even imagine what goes on in the receiving end, but you got to test your stadium. No. If you really like this guy or girl, I don't know, could be either one.

No, it's her boyfriend. Oh, boyfriend. Yeah, her boyfriend. Okay, yeah, you know, I think there needs to be a lot of communication and possibly some kind of compromise. Maybe there's just a little just a tip touching. Just a tip.

Yeah. A little ass legging, a little analingus or whatever they call it. I lost in the immaculate. I lost in the immaculate. A quite a lot. Thank you. Yeah. You got to just put your foot down on this one.

Just make it clear. I do not want to have ass sex. And I know that that's something you're into. So why don't you go to the toy store store the sex toy store and get one of those Plastic butts, you know what I'm talking about. It's like a mold of a butt and it's got a hole in it So he can have sex with it while you guys play around together like there's a compromise here that works I agree with Chrissy. There's a compromise that works or say what I have heard someone say before that puts an end to the whole situation I'll do it if you do it. Pegum girl, Pegum.

Which I know a lot of guys are into too. So never tried it personally, can't say, but you know, teach their own. Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, he was right. Well, Chrissy, before your microphone falls down and I have to get my screwdriver back out, I think we should wrap this one up. I think so. Those are kinda the, like on the periphery, ask TCBs, there's so many relationship, ask TCBs, we'll do a different episode about relationship, ask TCBs.

If you have an ask TCB, you know what you can do? You can go to the brand new TCB podcast. The brand new and I'm not even being pejorative here. Literally our seventh website in five years of four years of being on air. You can go to the brand new TCB podcast.com. You can find all the audio, all the video. You can request your what would Frankie do? Stickers. I know some of our liners might say 21 EPM stickers. We actually don't have any more of those. I mean, we do have a few left, but only for a special occasion.

You can get a, what would Frankie be? Sticker do by going to the contact us page on the website, clicking on I Want a Sticker, and then send us your physical address. I cannot send stickers to email addresses, although by the sheer number of people who just say, I want a sticker and leave it at that. It's like, guys, you actually have to send me

your physical address. I can't send you this thing. I guess we could send like the image. Yeah, I don't want to get into all that. Then he just, it then defeats the purpose. Then it's just a banner ad. And we already do plenty of those. Jerry.

Jerry. Case you have a note is Jerry, how did you find us, Jerry? That's what I want to know. I didn't ask that question. I should have. How did you find us? So go get your Whatwood Frankie B. Sticker do at tcbpodcast.com. 855-TCB-8383-1855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas.

We're taking them all, toll free, anywhere in the world. Hit us up, we never spam, we always respond. We'd love to hear from you. At the commercial break on Instagram, we've broken a thousand followers. And youtube.com slash the commercial break. Help us get to 5,000 by the end of the year. Please go to youtube, hit the subscribe button, you're gonna love the videos same day they air here on the audio feed and uh yeah we would appreciate it.

Okay Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. But I love you. I love you. And best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time we break something and need your help. We always say we do say and we must say goodbye.I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby you