The Commercial Break - That Is One Cheap Wiener Wagon!

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Bryan visits a rural store where a lady is berating a manager about 3 missing ounces of Cheerios. Bryan's friend goes to dinner with the world's cheapest blind date. Blue is up to her old tricks. This time she is in the diaper pale having a 5 course meal of....poo. Then Bryan shares an episode of World's Biggest Cheapskate where the Wiener Wagon Man outs together an anniversary dinner for less than $25. Why not buy funeral balloons for your wife of 10 years?! She'll understand....won't she? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mr. Dumbass, I can bring a lot to dumbass and dumbass. I'm a go-getter. Dumbass material all the way. So, am I your man, Mr. Dumbass? The name is Duma. Dumbass material all the way. On this episode of the commercial break. Of course you have never heard anything like this in my entire life. So now I'm like so person at the customer service can do anything.

Well first of all the person at the customer service is like a 15 year old girl who's on their hard time right. She's more worried about the selfie she's gonna take after this lady leaves. Probably filming it for her, you know, to talk or whatever. So Matias comes, you know, Hibidi hobbing along on his one leg, like, and he's like, Daddy, what's wrong? And I'm like in the assards right behind him, and she's like, Honey, and I'm like, Blue 8, the shit in Mia goes, and Daddy, and that's Matty, whatever his name is. Matias goes, bump, he. Blue-Aid-Mia's sh- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha For my 10th anniversary, I'm gonna get rid of the most expensive thing in the house, my wife!

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go! Ah yes, another episode of the commercial break! Yay! Have a good day! Oh, I'm Brian Green. This is the senior vice president of intestinal fortitude, Chrissy, Holy and best of you, Chrissy, Holy and Best You, Chrissy! Ah! Best You, Brian!

Best You out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break. Let's jump right in, because we don't have much time to waste. Only an hour with our friends here. Oh, no, I know, our loyal listeners. We're gonna pack it all in. I welcome newbies as well.

Yeah, welcome the newbies, all the new ones, all the old ones. You're at the right place wherever you whichever commercial Whichever commercial break you intended to click on you're at the right place. Yes, so I wanted to I went up to my my father's house this weekend And he lives kind of in like It's not really podunk. It's kind of close to Clemson, but it's kind of podunk Yeah, I drive through there when I'm going to my sisters in Greenland. It just got a public, like, you know, seven weeks ago.

It was fall town, but in a beautiful location. Gorgeous, up near a lake, in the mountains, wonderful. Beautiful up there, beautiful country. But for the longest time, they all they had there was the Ingles, which was a really big, nice supermarket. Yeah. But it brings out all of the Yocles, right? It does.

And love my Yocles, no offense to the Yocles. When I get to the North George Mountains, there's Piggly Wiggly. The Piggly Wiggly, yeah. The infamous pig. That's right. The Piggly Wigglys, I noticed, none of them are left in the metropolitan area. No.

It's all in the, definitely not. It's all Yokels there, right? Yes. So I go to the, so I go, I just go to my dad's, I stop. It's like two and a half hour drive for me. I go, I stop in, and then I'm just going to drive back. I'm picking something up, I'm going to come back real quick. Right. I go to the pig, I go to the, How'd that. I go, I stop in, and then I'm just gonna drive back. I'm picking something up, I'm gonna come back real quick. Right.

I go to the pink, I go to the, How'd that go? Yeah, it was fucking miserable. Because people don't know how to drive, and you gotta drive on those two lane country roads. And people, it seemed like yesterday was slow day, right? Everybody fucking go and slow. Yeah, that up that corridor too,

it's too lane, and it's you're going, people are like zooming up behind you, and you're like, I can't go anywhere, they it's you're going, people are like zooming up behind you, two and you're like, I can't go anywhere. They're the people who bump me. Well, zooming up behind you, I'm the guy who's zooming up behind everybody else. That's how I do it. But they, you know, one asshole inevitably decides

to sit in the right hand lane, going exactly the same speed as the asshole sitting in the right lane. So it's the left lane in the right lane. They block traffic for like 40 miles back to keep on But then I do I put my legs I give you two minutes if two minutes two miles You know in two minutes two miles you aren't moving slower faster than the guy next to you. That's her formula. So I can get around you.

Then you get the light treat. Okay. If it goes on for like five miles, then you're gonna get a double tap. Bap, bap, bap. If it goes on for 10 miles, I'm gonna literally lose my fucking shit. I will get off the exit and try and speed around. I'm, I get in sense. I've got to learn to control my anger issues

when it comes to driving. With the kids, I do good with the kids, but when I buy myself for a ride about it, and I'm just on a mission, I just want to get up there, get back to Sunday, I want to fucking relax. I want to watch some basketball, you know, because I'm now an NCAA March Madness expert.

Of course. Come March. Come March. You know what, I'm an expert in basketball. Mm-hmm. And... There was a big upset too with the St. Peter's, or St. Peter'sburg.

Yeah, St. Peter'sburg. That Russian college team came in. So I drive up there and then I decide I'm gonna go to the Ingalls to get myself a little sneakety snack for the way home, right? So I go in. So our patch cats. Now I got some, I got a banana.

I decided to do one healthy thing. And then I got jalapeno ranch, redsled twists. Those things are good. They're so fucking good. They're really good. That ranch pep that, uh. A pretzel twists, first of all, are my favorite. They're really good.

They're a nice hearty. They're not the stick. That's right. And they're not the, you know, the big, shake pretzels for the small ones. The crumble all over it. I'm with you. Yeah, it's a nice hearty pretzels. And then they twisted.

Some mad genius decided he was going to take the ranch salt that you get for popcorn at the popcorn place. Yeah. Throw it in the bag of Snyder pretzels. Twist. It does some jalapeno. Helly now. Helly now.

And they forget about it. I'm addicted. Forget about it. I'm addicted. I'm addicted. It always makes my stomach so sour. I love the wasabi almonds too. Yeah, those are good. So thank God that nobody was in the car with me on the way home. Yeah. It's just like a...

But I got a banana. I had coffee, a banana, ranch, pretzel twist. Did you eat the twist first or the banana first? I ate the banana first. That's not. Yeah, I just I just filled up with the banana. Yeah, I just I filled up with the banana. Well, I figured if I could eat the banana then I would eat less pretzel twists,

which was not in fact the case, but I tried. So I go into the angles and on the way checking out, there is a lady that is standing at the customer service aisle in front of me. I meant like the little self checkout thing at the customer service. She is throwing a holy redneck fit. I mean, she, I don't, it's a 12 ounces in the Cheerio box

and I measured it and it is 9.5. I took a picture of this, actually. Oh, this scale and I am not gonna be fucked over by General Mills Corporation. That's right. She was, she's fighting the big time. Of course, I've never heard anything like this in my entire life. So now, I'm like...

Like, say, person of the customer service can do anything. Well, first of all, the person of the customer service is like a 15-year-old girl who's on their part time, right? She's more worried about the selfish she's going to take after this lady leaves. She's probably filming it for her, you know, TikTok or whatever. So I am like now slow, I have two items and I'm like slow checking out. I'm like, beep, what's going to happen here? I am so fascinated by this. Like this lady is the cheapest woman I have

ever met in my entire life. So now I get to the, I get to, I check out and then I just kind of go and stand. Like I'm looking around at lottery tickets and I'm like four feet up. Do I want a video? Yeah. Do I want a video ticket still? Do I want a video ticket still? I always get scared about video taping confrontation. No, no, no, I'm talking about, they still have those videos.

Is it Red Box or something? Oh yeah, Red Box. Yeah, they still have videos that you, I think they're VHS because that's at that particular angle. Probably. So I hear this lady and she's, the meat potatoes of the argument is she bought this Cheerios box

It says X amount of ounces on the box she measured it because it felt light to her and it's no longer there So she wants her money back She wants to get a she wants her money back and she wants a new box of Cheerios and she would like to talk to someone at the Cheerios Corporation, okay, all three really reasonable requests box of Cheerios and she would like to talk to someone at the Cheerios Corporation. Okay. All three really reasonable requests. Well, it, yeah. Because I mean, we have the Cheerios Corporation. Oh, man, let me get them on the phone.

Cheerios Corporation, how can I help you? It says 12 answers in the Cheerio Box. It's only 9.5. Oh, yes, ma'am. That's correct. That's correct. We did it on purpose. Right. Yeah, will not be fucked over by the Cheerios Corporation. Do you only know that? Right. What are you

going to do? Yeah. 9.5 ounces. She's she got three ounces less than she had intended. The bag was opened by the way. So why she, oh, if you're going to measure it, measure it with the bag close, that's my opinion. I guess so. Yeah. Just to, you know, keep things on the open. This lady contacted the chair. This lady, it was older. She was maybe 60s. She had obviously what looked to be younger daughters with her, like in their teenage years. And then those daughters had then daughters. So it was a whole family and toe. And then eventually the daughters got into it. The lady was like, I'm sorry, ma'am,

I can get you a new box of Cheerios, but I don't know what you want. I wanna be able to measure that box of Cheerios before I leave this store. Did she bring her scales? Well, you have a scale of the store with the meat. I'm gonna go to the meat department and I'm gonna met, and I was like, holy shit, this is turning into absolute

and sandy. Then the daughters were like, don't let him fuck you like, holy shit, this is turning into absolute insanity. Then the daughters were like, don't let them fuck you over, mom. Don't let them fuck you over. That's right. You go, mom. You go, mom. You get a new box of Cheerios.

Go grandma. How fucking cheap do you have to be? I understand that like inflation is crazy and there's a war on and we're all just. Right. Well, I did read about this how you're getting less for what you used to. People are actually lowering the prices, but they're lowering the amount of stuff. However, I think you just take it once and then done by the freaking terrorist. Would you ever go in, if you did this the whole experiment and you found out there were two ounces, three

ounces less than you had intended to get, would you walk into a store and publicly decry of poor 14 year old 54 girl back there? No, I go straight to the Cheerios. Straight to the Cheerios. Corp. Mr. Cheerio. This is insanity to me, but there are people, I guess I'm just not one of those guys who gets all upset over a couple bucks. Yeah, I figure water is like money is like water it like float some if you try and

grab onto it, it's just gonna go through your hands and that's why I'm so notoriously good with money and And I miss you I love you and I miss you No, that's not you close me on a drunken night. I love you. This is Chrissy the other night Voice failed that I found Sports like a kid and she just keeps going. I think it's a she. I love you, I'm sorry I missed your phone call. Ooh. I love you. And I wish you.

She didn't remember that the next day. Ooh. I think she's 12. So I'm just not one of those guys. Like I just don't, I don't get all upset about a couple bucks. I don't get upset about paying for a friend's beer. I don't, if I load someone $10, I'd let it go.

I'm like, oh, whatever, 1010, I'm not going to worry about. I'm not going to get all upset. But I know some people that are just so get so incensed over money. You know, my dad is a little bit like this. He's very personickity. He does very well for himself, but he's very personickity when it comes to his dollar. Yeah.

And I talked to a friend a couple of nights ago and he was explaining that he went on a blind date, like he had a blind date that was set up for him. Is this their same friend that's from Florida? He knows okay, it's the same guy. I'm sorry dude. I'm not saying your name. I just telling the story because I think it's funny But he went on a he went on a blind date and as soon as the girl sat down she said I would like to split this right to instantaneously. Nice little weird way to start to date but that's that's that's her opening line. Not even high how are you but I'd like to split I want to make sure we split this at the end of the night and I guess that ain't expectations. That's correct. You're not getting laid because I am paying for own shit but you probably are you're not getting laid. That's not the opening

Self over somebody who thinks you're a child. I guess that's more towards the end. Yeah, that's a journey. Hey, thank you so much That'll wonderful night. Let's split it. It makes me feel better if we can split it. That's just split I want I'm not you know, I'm not one of those people. Let me split it. Yes, but the opening line is let me split the dinner You're not getting laid. That is not a person who has ever had sex with someone on a blind date. I'm just telling you right now, I walk into a blind date and I'm like two Bud lights and a shot of Bailey's please.

Let's get it on, right? That's my opening cell. Or I'm like, man, you look good tonight. I see something nice. Yeah, I don't say I'm, I want to split this. Well, maybe immediately she knew that she didn't like it. And so she's like, let's just split this. Let's just get this over with.

They have the appetizer. Let's get this over with. Is it the crab cakes? Yeah. No, they have, they have like, what are you called? Dumpling. There are an Asian restaurant, Chinese restaurant, Chinese restaurant.

So they have some dumplings, right? Six to a plate. Heads four sheets too. Oh. At the end of the night, the bill comes. And she is literally calculating how much. No, that's too much. She is calculating how many.

If you're splitting your split, if you're splitting your split, you're splitting 50% everybody has. That's right. And then she had a drink and he had two beers. So she's like calculating how much the two beers are. How fucking cheap. Yeah, I know.

I know. It has been like, let me just pay for it and let's call it a wash. I would be interested to- Good luck to you in your life. Good luck to you. Good luck to you. Good luck to the late, dude. I would like to know, I'm just throwing this out there.

I would like to know for those of you that might be Cheap personickity like but penny-pinching Saving I'm not saying it's the wrong way to be I'm saying it's it's alien to me I don't understand that mentality. Yeah, maybe that's why I Jim just a miserable son of a bitch when it comes to balancing my checkbook But I'd like to understand a little bit more about this. So okay if you are a cheap skate or you have a story about a cheap Skate 661-237-8296, text it to us or leave us a voicemail. If you want to come on the show then make sure you leave some contact information back. But it got me thinking about one of my favorite,

what I call daytime TLC shows. Now this doesn't always run on TLC. But there is a show on TLC called. Extreme cheesecakes. Extreme cheesecakes. I have heard about this and I've watched it actually a couple of times. This is horrified. Now I'm not sure that any of this is real. I'm just letting you know.

There was the one, I think that we did this a couple of years ago and it was the, they were, they didn't even. They were on a blind date. No, they didn't use toilet paper. They used like the wash cloth. Oh yeah. And then they, I just use my hand.

Yeah. This is just a straight natural. My daughter just uses her hand. Like, that's the other day. It is the washer hands then. Yeah, the other day, I'm walking up and down the hallway. It's the middle of the night. And I can hear something like scratching noise.

I'm like, what the fuck is that? And I'm kind of trying to narrow it down to where I hear it. Blue, Naga, I know it's blue. I know it's blue. Because we're at the answer sleeping. I know it's blue. I know it's blue. Yeah, rats.

Scrub. Is that you? Scrub. Scrub's are the two ones around the house. I figure out that it's coming, we have a diaper pale, like one of those diaper specific diaper pants. It's coming from the diaper pale. Coming from the diaper pale.

Blue is in the fucking diaper pale. She has torn open the bag in the diaper pale. No. It's eating me a shit. Oh no, no. Chrissy, I lost my ever loving shit. I screamed probably as loud as I've ever screamed. I was like, God damn it, blue.

Oh no. And Blue didn't stop. She had her nose right in me as she knew. Oh, god. So Matthias comes, you know, Hibiti hobbing along on his one leg. Like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and he's like, daddy, what's wrong? And I'm like in the asserge right behind him. And she's like, honey, and I'm like, blue eight to shit.

And Mia goes and daddy, and that's a Matty, whatever his name is. Matias goes, mommy, blue eight me a shit. Mommy, blue eight me a shit. Just exactly repeated. I know know of all of all the things What did Mia say about this Mia was She didn't say anything and she hears me yell She just gets scared the only reason I yell That's the only reason that's the only thing in this on this God's green earth that can make me so

Insensitile because I never raise my voice, almost never. It doesn't matter how he did I get, I tend to stay, you know, my voice stays. The only time I yell is on this show and with blood. And so I go into the room, like after we cleaned up, I go into the room and me is like literally under the cover with the pacifier and I'm out like naggy from the symptoms of the, looking you like with an eyes it's like don't hurt me I look like Chris Rock after a real space

right whoa that just happened that just happened so anyway to get back to the cheap skates we'd like to listen to our feedback we'd like to listen to our feedback two three seven eight two nine six so I've gotten an episode of Cheapskates. Would you like to see this? Absolutely.

This is very interesting. Now, I want to keep, I want everybody to keep this in mind. I have no idea. I've watched a lot of these episodes because I think they're absolutely hilarious. They are pretty funny. I have no idea if any of this is real. Some of this seems a little too much. Yeah.

Like, how does someone really do this? And my point is illustrated by the first couple of minutes of this particular video. So let's take a look at it. Extreme cheap skates, here we go. Oh, youtube.com slash the commercial break, if you'd like to follow along. We are now rolling out full episodes.

Yes, that's all that. Couple days after they air. So if you wanna watch the whole episode on YouTube, they can have my game. On my clothing. I know. It's just like, that's why I chose just a t-shirt today.

You know, it's just like it's this whole process of trialling air with this fucking YouTube. I mean, we gain a little traction and then we just kind of flat. Now, we gain a little traction and then we flat. Now, and I just don't get it. But what I have heard from people who are watching the show on YouTube stars.

Yeah. YouTube stars. What have you heard from the YouTube stars? Other people who have less than two thousand followers. We need to dance. That's what it is. We need to do like a little dance routine. Some people are saying that.

They're like, you know, I used to be on drill team. I can do one. You used to be on drill team. Dream. Four, five, six, seven, eight. need to have the license or a whole episode dedicated to a video of you on drill I like to embarrass myself Somebody's got Chrissy ho the little increment. Oh, any little increment. I go for the whole Should I port it out the first ten episodes? I let you know that I used to be a drug addict, a derelicts. And now I just feel good about myself, because anything I say can't, you know, I can't

top the first ten episodes. Of course, until then, 33p. But here you go, extreme cheap skates. And it's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break. It's so fucking meta, I can't even stand it. I wanted to let you know that Chrissy and I are going to be doing the TCB Summer Games when this summer.

And if you'd like to be a part of the games that we're intending to play, give us a shout, 661-237-8296. That's 661, best the number two, Y-O-Yo. We're looking for singles. We're looking for people willing to play TCB trivia and all kind of game shows. Give us a shout on the phone line or go to TCBpodcast.com and drop us an email at the contact us form. You can also listen to all the audio and watch all the video right from TCBpodcast.com. Catch us on the socials at the commercial break on Instagram and if you would go to our YouTube channel slash the

Commercial break if you'd like to see any of the clips that we run each and every day and now Presenting full episodes two days after the released on the podcast. That's right now full episodes available two days after the audio Version sometimes people write in and they ask us hey, how can we help the commercial break? Two things, use our sponsors, specialize URLs or codes when you're in the market for their products or services. They give you discounts and free shit and in return, you tell our sponsors, we're doing our job.

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Yep. My name is Epdool, and I am an extreme cheap skate. I love being cheap because I like the zeros in my bank account. I basically run a successful business. I have a mobile food business with a hot dog car. A Weinerwagon. A Weinerwagon.

This is successful. How much money could the Weinerwagon make do you think? How many Weiner's can you prepare in a day? Just take a guess. Well, I guess the quality of the Weiner would have to balance out with the profit. I don't know. If I had a Weiner business. I mean, if you had a string of Weener wagons, you have a sloppy Joe business.

I do. So Brian Green's sloppy Joe and sexual servant hut. Look out, come and do a city near you. Mr. Francho! It's trusty friend here, Mr. Weener. When I pull out my weener, that's when the magic happens. Here are hers, that. Here are hers. Of course, no. I see the guy at the producer at TLC, the field producer, like, when you pull out your winner, you know, work in when I pull out my winner. What did you go?

The magic. But once it take a picture, everyone's going bananas over this thing. So if I'm a little slow, I pull my winner out, and there he goes. I want to see. It's a stuffed, it's a tall stuffed winner. It's like a mascot.

It's a mascot. He's got a dick for a mascot. He's got a dick and a bun. That definitely looks like a dick with a face on it. But if a dick and a box. Yeah, a dick and a box. A dick and a bun. My husband would have to go anything, anything and everything, whether it's his necessity

or something. This is Sean a wife of extreme cheap skate. Your wife of extreme cheap skate. I could not be a woman I could not be the one who wants to be on TV. No, wife of extreme cheap. wife of asshole. That's an astrid wife of asshole. Just once. He haggles anything. If you can make that right there at 343 in a tank.

I don't know if we can do that. I mean, 350. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can can make that right there at 343 in a tank. Oh man, I don't know if I can do that. I mean, 350. Okay, he's haggling at the gas station and who is the guy who he haggling with? I don't know because full service stations are very rare. And they're very expensive. They have like a dollar a gallon or something. I know there's one still left here in the hands. This guy is wearing jeans in a tank top. Yeah, I feel like this guy is just like a drug addict.

Right. He's like, want me to pump your gas? He just like, Scott, we open from Stone Temple Pilots. Can I pump your gas? Can I get a, can I wash her when she? I'm Scott Weolden from Stone Temple Pilots. Can I pump your gas? Times or two?

Yeah. See, okay, we got to deal. All right, we're man, thank you. So, there's, let me get two bigger burgers and two chocolate shakes, please No, I'm not gonna haggle with the dude I'm way to save money is the naughty it out so well, I mean you got a eagre see you guy owns a wiener I think he wants to sit at home and cook all day after a good long day at the wiener wagon owns a weiner wagon. I think he wants to sit at home and cook all day after a good long day at the weiner wagon. He's literally rolling his weiner down

the street. When you when you do so much weiner work, you get to be a long day. Right. You want to quit meal. Come home and rest your weiner. Instead of a weiner, you want a burger. You want a burger? Fat burger. Yeah. If I've made weiner's for a living, I would never eat another weiner in my life. I've had a lot of weener in my life. I could be a TLC producer. I've had puns all day long. Puns and puns.

Either your total is 1164. 1164. Correct. Let's just, I'm gonna just get rid of this 64 and just make it $11 even. This is the worst haggling I've ever heard of my entire life. Let's just get rid of this 64. I mean, the guy that's working there is, he has any control over the building.

I know, I was like, oh, sure, let me cut you at the end of the dude. I'm the one who makes the price here. Welcome to Bill's Weenermaggin. What could I get you? I got $1, I got hot dogs for $3. No, I'm taking for $2, $1. It's like, I get you? I got dollar, I got hot dogs for $3. No, I'm taking for two, $1. It's like, I mean, and if you're gonna go haggling,

why haggle 64 cents? Why not haggle down to $8? Let's just say eight. Yeah, go extreme. That's negotiation 101. That's right. Go way lower. This guy's a miserable negotiator.

I think when we found out about Bill here so far, is that he's a miserable negotiator with a huge weiner. A shake or a burger? No, no, no, let's keep everything on. Okay, well, um, yeah, it would be awesome. No, no, no, no, no, don't take my shit away. What are you talking about, Will? The guy that wins is like, that's the price. Yeah, that's the price.

What do you want me to do? It's what corporate said. It's me, Mr. corporate weiner. Why are you, what can I help you with? Yeah, I was wondering if we could throw the 64 off and just make it $11. It's me, Mr. Corporate Weiner! Why are you- what can I help you with? Yeah, I was wondering if we could throw the 64 off and just make it $11. Do I come to your house and say sure, throwing your wife's left-hit? No, I do not! I don't come to your Weiner stand and haggle for an extra Weiner. Don't bother me about my prizes!

Okay, how about 1150? How about you stick a weener in your own ass? This is not gonna happen. I set my prices according to a complicated algorithm. I guess it's worth $3.50. Yes. I would love to, when I worked at restaurants and they would set reset the prices every once in a while.

People would get out of bed on a shave. Yeah, there was some, and it wasn't a bed on a shave, but there was like, the chef would do some complicated math about how much exactly it costs for one item of food to be made. And then the restaurant owner would inevitably say, well, it's probably worth $11. So like the chef would be like, it takes $7.67 to cook that pork chop,

put it on the plate, get it out to the server. And the restaurant owner would be like, ah $7.67 to cook that pork chop put it on the plate get it out to the server and the restaurant owner be like $11 dollars Yeah, no rival reason to that shit 64 that let's just take 50 sand off and let's just call it 11 to 50 cents How about I throw in some extra ketchup and salt packet? Smart ass once to mark ass worker Yeah, well, I mean he's actually smartest one? Smart ass worker. Yeah. Well, I mean, he's actually he's thinking on his feet.

He is thinking on his feet. That's right. Let me throw his free things I can give you. I don't actually said the prices and it's going to come out of my pocket if the registers not balanced. What if I throw in an extra bag and some ice in your cup? Oh, that sounds good, man. We have a deal. You're a fantastic negotiator.

Bill sucks at negotiating. Oh my God, I'm never taking you out anywhere ever again. When it comes to handling, I would probably... Yeah, he's never taking, yeah. He was driving. 85% success rate. When I build haggles, I think to myself, this is one more store that yet again,

I can not see the new house. Why did I marry him? Yeah, when Bill had those, I wonder how much would it cost for me to get a divorce? Right here. Don't always look at the price tag. And if I don't, it's a lot full of that. Just $25.

$25. They're all aware of it. No, I guess they're in safe. They're in safe. Yeah, they're in suitfalls. That bag is made of ketchup packets. Every time you go somewhere, you have to do it. This is why I leave you on home.

Let me just see how much we have so far. I want 35. Don't embarrass me. Wow, yeah, I tell you what, if I was out with this guy, I would just be mortified. I wouldn't go out with this guy. One thing that I hate, yeah, you wouldn't go out with this guy.

There's one thing that I hate, not as many things that I hate, but blue is one of them. But one of the things that I really dislike is when you go out somewhere with somebody and they start bothering the customer service professional, it really fucking irritates me. When you treat a server like shit, a person has a question. Unless it's warranted.

Unless it's warranted. Yes. Well, it's never warranted to treat somebody like shit, but if someone's giving you attitude, if you want to throw a little attitude back there away, I get that. But if they're perfectly nice and legitimate? I have family members who are like this. The second you sit down, you know, it's just gonna be an embarrassing situation

because they're gonna- Butterfly that steak. I don't want it, you know, a butterfly that steak, that's my wife every time. Feel free to butterfly the steak. Yeah, well always rolls their eyes. Oh, these people are gonna be sitting here for a day. But I have some friends where it's like the second

that they sit down, it's like, I don't want any ice in my Coke. Make sure you bring a straw that's unwrapped. I'd like to make sure the coffee is hot. I want my pancakes. Brim, Tom. Ice, swatter. Yeah, and it's a guys. The job isn't hard enough.

You're gonna make them run around an extra three laps Yeah, just take what you get or then don't go there don't go there. That's it don't go out if you want things You're right with yourself Where you know that everything's made your way and that's usually called your own kitchen I called your own fucking house Nice you ready to be my mom. Yeah, we are Excuse me. Oh Hold on one second fucking out. Nice. You ready to be my love? Yep. We are. Excuse me.

Just a minute. I'll talk to you. Hold on one second. Judy behind the counter. It's me. Mr. customer service. Oh, thank God I can tell this guy's going to be difficult. He's an asshole.

I offered to throw in some free wire hangers. Yeah. Wire hangers. Wire hangers. some free wire hangers No Wire hangers a little bit about the prices, you know, let me just go one by one here Do we have any wiggle room with this this jacket here? You know we do try to price our things at a really good price. But what I could do is give you $10 off. How about another $5? How about an extra button? Oh my God, this guy's such an asshole. Such an asshole. Yeah, this seems fake. I believe it happens in

some capacity. But I don't think it happens everywhere the guy walks in. This impossible, right? He doesn't know what's this much of an asshole. How about an extra? The good ladies just give you $10 off from no fucking reason. For no reason.

And you're like, let me get another $5 off. And then when he gets another $5 off, he's gonna let me get another $3 off. It's like that girl that went to dinner with my friend. Would you pay for one of my dumplings? Because you are new, I will do 20% off. So we're doing a $10 off of each item? No, I'll do a straight 20%.

That brings it down to $3.27. So we started it with one or two or three? So he's spending money? Yeah, he's spending money. $3.27. $3.27 is something. $3.27 is something. Yeah, for an entire wardrobe, the lady just bought.

I mean, something three hundred twenty seven dollars is not a small amount of money. We just went to one store and spent three twenty seven. Three seventy seven. And watch, he's not going to be happy. He's going to need more. You want to know why? Because this guy's an asshole. He's a weiner in an asshole.

He's a weiner stuck in an asshole. He's a wiener stuck in an asshole. Yes. Thanks a lot, Ket. So it's not that I don't have money, it's just that I don't want to spin it all. Those are fake flowers in the background. Yeah, of course. It's my 10 year anniversary. It's coming up and I want to do something special for my wife.

But I really don't want to spend a lot of money. So I take my 10th anniversary and I really want to do something special for my wife. But I really don't want to spend a lot of money. So I, they should. My aunt Anna Burser, and I really want to do something special for my wife. So I'm going to go to the, uh, to the used dealership, and I'm going to get myself some supplies. I'm going to dumpster, huh?

Yes, that's right. dumpster diving later to the tip. I've got a spare tire. I'm going to make into a table. It's, I'm going out of this really nice restaurant. There's a lobster. They serve lobster there. I'm getting in that dumpster. Yeah, I'm getting in that dumpster. I'm going out of this really nice restaurant. There's a lobster, they serve lobster there. I'm getting in that dumpster. Yeah, I'm getting in that dumpster.

I'm just gonna say, look at this. Look at this. I found a whole pack of frozen fish. That's expired by two years. Now, you know that shit's just f**ked. They put it, yeah, they put pretend aint on shit. That's a suggestion. That's right.

What we're gonna do is we're gonna set the spare tower on fire. And I'm gonna cook of that fish it's gonna be delicious and then we're gonna watch a movie I'm not sure what movie it is I found this VHS cassette in a dumpster they should go to the that should get a Nashville and go to the art gallery that's in the apartment the what the art gallery that's at the apartment apartment you're a part of a preview network smart thinking Chrissy, maybe you could guide them there free 100% free replicas.

Re replicas. You this is Jason on the third floor is drawn this stick figure having sex with a small cat. You think it's an original. It's an original. It says number one on the bottom. I don't know if you noticed. Game must have a budget of $25.

So I bring my good friend Rick along. He wants to put this anniversary together for under $25. Friend of cheap skate. Friend of cheap skate. Rick, friend of cheap skate. He's sure, I don't think you should admit it that far. And Rick, how many lines can be crossing in different directions? I think you got that shirt on sale too.

Bill helped you with that. I feel like Rick has the kind of chest where you don't open up your chest. That's what I was saying. You should not open it that far. There's not a lot of chest hair or gold chains. No, there's nothing. It's like bare, but a little bit. Yeah, I've got a lot of chest hair or gold chains. No, there's nothing. It's like bare but a little bit. Yeah, I've got a bellow of hair.

And so when I open up my shirt, I've got a bellow of hair that then I trim. So what I, so it looks like my head only on my chest. So when I open up my shirt, it's sexy. When ring opens up his shirt. No, no, it's sad. It's sad, not to mention. You could put an iron to that, Rick. Do you have a

dryer? Yeah. You're crazy. There's no way you're going to be able to do this. I know what stuff costs. It's not going to happen. I don't think you can do it. I know I can do it. $25. It's not going to be a very good one. It's going to be a great point. I put $25. I guarantee you. Did I have kids? Because he's driving around in a minivan? I guy like this Minivan with no seats 25-dollar for your 10th anniversary now there are probably lots of people who do

Anniversary for $10. So I want to be clear. I'm not being classist No, no, but Rick has money There are probably lots of people who do anniversaries for $10. So I want to be clear, I'm not being classist. No, no. But Rick has money. He can spend $50 or maybe even a hundred, take his life out to a nice dinner. That's the thing. Yeah, he's choosing.

Jeff and I like to get small gifts for each other, but then do something big. Like go to a really nice dinner or go on a trip. I've been giving acid a small gift for the full five years that we've been together. You know what it is? My weiner. Magic.

My weiner, wagon. It is never shot with me. So he never knew how I had go or knew that I had go at all. So I'm sure Rick is gonna be surprised today. So one of my stops is the party store. I have a strategy when I'm going to store. Is this like party city? No, this is party rip off city.

Okay. Yeah, this is party place. Generic party. Party town. Party street. We used to have a party city by my grandma's house. And every time we would go over there, my grandma would take us to the party city. But we thought it was the coolest thing in the world. So much stuff. But then my grandma would buy like a bag of balloons and that was it. So then she just gave us the bag of balloons and we were supposed to blow them up ourselves. We thought it was the coolest thing in the world. But then my grandma would buy like a bag of

balloons and that was it. So then she just gave us the bag of balloons and we were supposed to blow them up ourselves. We're like four. I don't think you're supposed to give balloons to kids to blow up. Yeah, there's a choking hazard. Glad you made it. Thanks. I'm sure all the listeners are too. They're like, God, this guy's an unbearable roux! Five stars! Five stars, unsufferable asshole, five stars. Like out of season. You probably get a better deal. To me, balloons were balloons. Happy 50th birthday!

Yeah! Okay. Muzzle top! You're on your bar mitzvah! Happy! So this is. I want to tell you a start. So when I when I was like I don't know right after my first divorce the first Christmas was absolutely fucking miserable right I just hated everything

hated everything you know because it was a first Christmas alone. Now when we were dancing, yeah, but I'm talking about the Christmas at my family. No, we were having fun. Oh yeah, we had a great time. We had a great time. As her ex-girlfriend. I really got two re-spares. What? You can't hide your window. Oh my god. What a crazy night that was. So, but the next Christmas, I pepped up and I was like, listen, you know, it was the right thing to get a divorce. Everyone's happier. Babbabah. And I used my sense of humor, and I decided that I was going to get gag gifts and gag cards.

They're funny. They're funny. I've done it before, yeah. So for Christmas, I would get, you know, there'd be a gift. And one time I put like a whole ash tray worth of cigarettes. Oh, no. Oh, no.

With some cheerios. I'm going too far. I know, my brothers did not find it funny. And then I had the card. But like, We'll be cushioned, okay. Siger on Cheerios. With some cheerio I'm going too far. I know my brothers did not find it funny And then I had the card to like it will be Christian okay Figure on your bum. I'm not sure Figure at Cheerios. No, I know and then one time I gave my mama card. It was like sorry for your loss She's like, what did I lose in sympathy? Yeah

In sympathy sorry for your loss. It's the thought that counts. 10 to $12. 10 to $12? Yeah, it's the thought that counts that you're freaking not thinking. Yeah, you're not thinking. If it costs 10 to $12 to get a funeral balloon, why can't you spend that $12 on a happy anniversary? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. In the bag, it doesn't make any sense

In the bag it's an oatmeal studio I'll take three oatmeal studios Got any clearance balloons. I got a couple playing around. I can see if I've got something Clarence balloons one do one do for sale She's for sale that anniversary sale. She's for sale. Happy anniversary sale, honey. It's it's one to balloons go like did they go bad? They've got a clearance on balloons. By the way, I've had two birthday balloons stuck up on the top of my ceilings. It's my son's first birthday. I noticed that.

I like to get them down. I see Gary that's a anniversary sale. Hey, that's a good one. Anniversary sale. Hey, that's a good one. Sure your wife's gonna like that though. No, that's fine. It's colorful, they do the job. They add, they don't worry about it.

My wife's just a little bit too high for me there. You have any other options that maybe not be as close to that. He must have a good winner. I'm just told we've heard of this. He must have a big old, fat, good girl. Yeah, that thing is this. Mustard and relish. I mean, this guy is like, this guy is like,

he's a fucking work. Oh yeah. Eris, we're up there at the counter, and this balloon is $2.99, and he keeps haggling this guy down. And he's $1.99, it is intense. What if we did like three fourths of hilly? Well you can get those those balloons down so three three

fourths helium. Yeah then they would have been down cuts cut ten cents off of things and those balloons would come down ten years from now and thirty years from now. Fucking balloons are gonna outlive me. I swear to God they've been up there forever. Cheaper than helium. There's cheaper than helium. Okay, now if we do anything cheaper than helium. No, air is cheaper than helium. Air is cheaper than helium.

You can buy an entire thing of helium. You can buy an entire thing of nitrous oxide, like a hundred dollars. I mean, it's no money. There's no money in helium. Look at that. You probably not a couple of dollars off. Maybe make it $7 or $8. If you do something a little simpler, something with air. I mean, oxygen free. We breathe oxygen every day, but I have to pay this guy for his oxygen.

For his tail. Don't put oxygen in a balloon. Dude, you put helium in a balloon. It's not the same thing. It's just going to lay on the floor. Yeah, I know. I don't have to blow it up. You have any more? Yeah.

I mean, just the act of blowing up. It makes me want. I know. Just I don't even want to deal with it. Okay. Somebody else do it. Do you know how much I hate blowing something up? It's bad.

I hate it. I hate it. Floats for the. Floats for the. Yeah. I hate blowing something up. It's bad. I hate it. I hate it. Floats for the pool. Floats for the, yeah. I just deflated. I just deflated an exercise ball yesterday. I was like, I never used this thing.

I'm gonna deflate it. You will never put air in that again. Not if your mouth has to do it. I know. I think I did too. With my mouth. The only thing that I want to be blown is my own cock. If you know what I mean, I'm being serious.

I hate it. One time here at the house. Yeah, you can get lightheaded. It was a hurricane in Miami. So I invited the entire Miami side of the family up. I'm like, guys, get out of there. You know, it was a big hurricane. Whenever it was like four years ago, five years ago.

Get out of there. Can you blew up balloons from when they got here? No, I blew up the air mattresses for when they got here. Oh, God. I just can't blow up an air mattress on your own. No, no, no, no, we went to You have to have a poem. It was like two in the morning. And so we went to Step in hours later. We were taking turns. It was all of us taking turns to blow up this fucking air mattress You didn't have like a bike pump at least. No, we don't have, it's got a bike pump.

Who the fuck have a bike pump? I want to, you did a bike. You got a bike, I don't have a bike. Why would have a bike pump? This thing is supposed to have its own like inflator thing, but we lost it. So then we go to the Walmart looking for an extra, and it's gonna make me buy an entire new air mattress.

So I cheap skate out, I come all by say, I got a bike, $150. You did it say $150 yeah, I did the cheap You should have just haggled with the people there I ended up buying the new mayor Erma actresses two days later anyway Because no one could blow it up all the way So just that half of the poor people Thanks for inviting me

Thanks for all hospitality Anybody wants some two-year-old expired milk in their cereal? I'm afraid of combination. It takes from hospitality. Anybody want some two-year-old expired milk in their cereal? I had one more, but it's just a police car. Oh, now that's awesome. That's perfect for a car. Hold on, baby. I'm about to be arrested because my love is criminal. I love is criminal. I find a way to make it work. I don't want to.

Please count on the idea. It's all about laughter, man. I'm sure this will hear about laughter. No, it's not all about laughter. Your anniversary is not about laughter. Your anniversary is pretty big, too. Yeah, that's a pretty big one. What is the thing for 10 year anniversary?

Is it diamonds, gold? No, there's like silver, gold. Yeah, one of them's paper. Paper is the first year, isn't it? Paper. Paper is sand. Jubilee. Jubilee.

Jubilee. Jubilee. I think the 15th year is misery. I think the 15th year is misery. I think the 20th year is paper. Where is one? It's paper. What is the 10 year? I don't know.

The 10 year is silver. I think the 10 year is sexual serenity. I think the 10th one is monogany. 10 year anniversary gift. Gift. Yes, I'm looking it up live on the air. Yeah, live on the air because that's what we started doing now. It does say diamond.

Oh, is it a diamond? Is it ten years? Diamonds? Uh, okay, we'll get back to this and Chris, you'll go dig it around a lot. Uh, I can't do that. I just need to get the deal on notice. $2.25 since we got a deal, Gary. Come on, Gary.

How about $2.50? Gary, if you go to $2.50, we can go to $2.25. We can go to $2.70, we can go to $2.50. $2.45 has been the middle. $2.45. All right, $2.45. And we see all kinds of customers coming in the door, but I can't say as I've ever seen.

Hold on, I have an update. Okay. 10 years paper. Traditionally. It's paper. It is sand, I'm kidding. No, it's 10 are aluminum. 10 are aluminum.

Maybe Gary's on this up in here. 10 are aluminum. Hey, honey, I got you this. Maybe Gary's on the subject here Our I got you this boy Hey, I graded it. It's our 10th it's a 10th anniversary. So I got you some Reynolds wrap Extra strong extra heavy extra heavy I'll go and all out for you honey I'm having a cup of coffee. I'm having a cup of coffee. I'm in all out for you, honey.

I'm in all out for you, honey. I'm in all out for you, honey. I'm in all out for you, honey. I'm in all out for you, honey. Oh, it's a party land. Oh, it's party land. It's party land. Yeah, there you go.

Now they're going into the cookie place. Just a little chitin'. So welcome to the store, very confident, thinking I'm gonna get this cake from my wife. I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do it. You need a cake made. Okay, today I'm having a cake made. I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do it.

I need a cake made. You have any dump cakes know, I got to lay out. I'm going to do it. I need a cake made. You have any dump cakes laid around? If I take a shit in the bucket, will you put it into a dump cake for me? The dump cake. Look, Kathy says she has just thrown some cranberries on it, throw it in the oven, 355. That's from another episode. We have done it. Yeah, the dump cake episode.

The dump cake episode. The title should give it away. Yeah, the dumb cake episode. The dumb cake episode. The title should give it away. The title is dumb cake. And a verse we brought you from a white, about six people. Okay. I want to be something special. I want to be something special.

I want to be something special. I want to be something special. I want to be something special. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen.

Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah, the ten. Yeah, the ten and fifteen. Yeah budget here. Okay. You know, I'm not trying to insult your business or anything. But your cakes are shit.

If you mind if I just take one for free. I'm gonna give you exactly how much your cakes are worth. Do you have a throwaway? Yeah, do you have a tossaway? Oh, they have lots of tossaways. The cake shop probably, they over bake them, under bake them, something like that. Do you have anything with raw eggs in the middle?

What did you do? Okay, her stomach is extra strong. What if you don't mix or bake it? Can I get $10 off? What if I bake it? What if I bake it? What if no one makes it? Maybe the ingredients.

Yeah. Can I have just two eggs and some flour? Dollar, right dollar. Do anything I could do to probably make that a little bit less than the 29.99. And what if you were to take that frosting off, but what would it be? Just a bear cake. Thank you, Jake. She looks like they might need crazy.

Naked cake. Naked dump cake. You keep taking Naked dump cake back there, you mind? The frosting is all included in that price, so it's kind of like buying a car without the wheels. Yeah, what I'm trying to do is to do this. Yeah, I want to do that. Yeah, I want to do that. Including the steering wheel.

Yeah, take all the wheels off. Anything round in the car, I'd like to take off. Yeah, get out of the car without the rear view mirror or the wheels or the steering wheel or the radio. Just the frame. The headrest. Follow me. Will you take out the break for me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now what do you say? $1,000 for that brand new Mercedes. Ha, ha, ha, ha. How do you need that break? Sir, I've got someone you could speak. Yes. It's from the all after market.

It's safe. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sir, I've got somebody to speak to. His name is Officer McGillicuddy. aftermarket. Say. Oops. Sir, I've got somebody to speak to. His name is Officer McGillicuddy. He likes to talk to you. Just for a few minutes. His name is Dr. Zamboni. He's a psychiatrist.

What is your budget? What are you looking to spend? Now, with $25. $25. It's $29.95 for the cake. He's got $25. He's like, you're close. $25. $25. It's $29.95 for the cake. He's got $25. She's like, you're close. So close.

If you like it, you can make the extra $4. Oh, what's going on? It's your 10th year anniversary. Can you leave out the eggs? Yeah. I don't have. That's for the whole party. The whole party.

Oh! All these balloons. This is a lot of love right here. Hopefully Shauna's happy Surprise All your friends chipped in a dollar so I can have a birthday party for you Hey, do you want to come to Shauna's surprise party? It's come for five dollars. It's not my private I take Vennman down Hey, Billy, I know you got a band.

What do you say you play for five dollars? No, you give me five dollars. Major exposure. Major exposure. We're on TLC. Yeah, we're going TLC. We're going TLC extreme cheapskates. You're going to be taken seriously.

You're going to be knowing across the land. Looked out. What's the name of that band? 33 penis? Come on. You're gonna love this. Ugh. Ugh.

10 year anniversary is coming up, and I want to do something special for my wife. What I'm trying to do is cut this cost a lot more. What is your budget? What are you looking to spend? $25. $25, okay. Let's see, we do have. That's for the whole party.

The whole party. Like let's see. I've already blown 10 of it on the balloons. Yeah, I'm gonna use one. On the belief car balloons. That's right, I've got 10 of it on the balloons. Yeah, I mean, it's one. On the belief carbolins. That's right. I built 10 of it on the balloons and another 15 on a... On gas, just to get around it. I know. On a teener. I got a teener or a weed.

We're going to split it. I'm going to roll a big split and pass it around. I own ingredients. There's health code in here. We have to purchase everything. Bring your own ingredients. You're going to spend $25. You did what I just said. I know.

Oh my god, can you leave out the eggs? You're going to spend just as much money buying a whole carton of eggs and flour and sugar. Dude, how did egg rolls go to the pigly wiggly? Get a cake mix. Get a cake mix. That's a dollar. It's like a dollar and 99 for a cake mix. Yeah. Make a, cake mix. That's a dollar. Is it a dollar? It's like a dollar 99 for a cake mix. Yeah.

Make a dump cake. Yeah, make a dump cake. Make a dump. I wish I had known. I would have written this guy. I know. So I'm throwing all kinds of options at this lady and just nothing's working.

Somehow we need to make this cake $7. Okay. I don't know the way. Somehow we need to make this cake $7. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna make the cake and I'm gonna eat two thirds of it. And then the cake will be $7. How's that?

How's that Gary? What do you think? $7. $7. It's a 10-inch round cake. Can we make it a seven inches? That's really a size we don't do. Do we make it a cupcake? Can we just make a cupcake? How big is your dick, right? seven inches. That's really a size we don't do. You're making it perfect.

You just make it perfect. How big is your dick, Rick? What if we use Rick's dick as a measuring tool? Whatever we can fit on Rick's dick, I'll pay $7 for it. How big is your dick, Rick? Take a mole. Let's make a mole, that's Rick's dick. What do you say Rick make a mole Make a mole that a rick's dick He's still we make a penis shaped kick like rigs dick seven dollars

What is dick can be that big? Mean mile ricks like I got a 13 inch I'm your big rigs dick. He's me. Have you seen my chest? I'm a big rigs dickies. Have you seen me? Have you seen my chest? I'm a sexual servant. Oh, I love this. At the end of the day, I'm sure you guys don't use all your materials with your flower and things like that. And I'm not picky. And I'm not picky. So if someone took a shit knit, whatever.

Flower. You got to cat litter back there. Throw it in a mixing mixing ball give it some weight We'll keep the frosting on it just to the sky's thing you guys must be cleaning back there right there must be some bleach and some Comit can't you whips up the number that Exploding Volcano cake for my 10th birthday. I'm gonna get rid of the most expensive thing in the house. My wife. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If you use some leftover ingredients and put that in the cake. You're killing me here.

Don't do it. We have cake pops. What does it look like? What is a cake pops? It's layered cake, frosting, cake. Those are $1.50 piece, so you could get six of them. Frosting sprinkles, you're going to get everything that a cake would have. Is that made with leftover ingredients?

Yes. Well, they just let out the world's biggest secret. Let's fucking cake pop the Starbucks. Oh, I love it. This lady's cake shop. I always knew those things were random. Leftover ingredients. Okay.

Can we get that to about 75 cents? 75 cents. 75 cents, come on, dude. Oh, that's nice. You're gonna throw them away anyway. 85 cents. $1.50. Oh, wow. How old and strong. I love it. 95 cents, we'll. $1.50. Oh, wow.

How long is strong? I love it. 95 cents would get a deal. I have to stick with the dollar. 98 cents. How about 99 cents? 99 cents. She's like, just get him out of here.

She's got this asshole out of here. Holy shit, what an insult to this lady's small business. Poor lady's trying to work really hard at this. Another video we didn't get all the way through. We didn't get to know much about his weiner shop either. But you only paid $1.50, so you know what? You got exactly what you paid for. He listed to the advertisements.

He listed to the advertisements. I don't know what to say about this Cheap asshole. Yeah, she asshole fucking weener guy I would be pissed Never marry somebody like me ever I would be friends with somebody like this to be honest with you I mean my dad's a frugal, but this is extreme my dad's nowhere near this frugal I do have a I do know a few people in my life that are almost this frugal. Really? Almost. Almost. I'll tell you about it all better.

I'm like Clark Howardish, you know. Clark Howard. Reus. He's the best tipper. Yeah, but he's- Exactly. I made it up. I made it up.

I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made it up.

I made it up. I made it up. I made it up. I made said, if I take a free dessert, it gives the appearance of impropriety. And I'm a consumer reporter. I can't be getting free shit. And I thought it was the most honorable thing I've ever seen anybody do. It's a dark hour. I will take a free dessert. So if you see that. But I will reuse, I will reuse some fabric,

dry or sheets, a couple times. I reuse wet wipes on my ass, put them over to the side, they're not all the way dirty. All right, you know what I do? I say, I, eat my shit. Save on that flush. Oh, that's disgusting.

OK, here's what you do. If you'd like to play with us, TCB Summer Games, when this summer, all you have to do is go to the website, www.tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us form. Let us know that you're interested in playing TCB trivia, TCB match game, which means the singles, two singles matched up.

So if you're single and ready to mingle, let us know. And we don't care what you're into, who you are, what pronouns you use. Let us know, we're gonna make it work. Have we got new bites on that? Yes, we have. Okay, great. We have two people, maybe a third,

that's ready for the singles game, but we definitely need some more. So let us know. And it's all for fun. We're gonna do it online. We're gonna say. Rock's a lancer that she would do some games, not the singles game, but other games.

That's great. Maybe TCP trivia. TCP trivia. And I'd also like to know what you think is the worst commercial break episode. Worst, the commercial break episode. The commercial break episode for a future episode that we're doing called the worst commercial break episode. We're going to do our own review of our own bullshit. It's going to be a ton of fun. Oh my god, I love

this. I love it. Okay, at the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break for clips, you cannot find anywhere else and now full episodes I think that's I think that's about all the way to the day. I mean very good. Oh much more Could we possibly give these people for free? Well, I mean can I get you down to negative sense? That's kind of what the commercial break is already making commercial break is already making. How can we go lower than that? Make sure to use our sponsors, URLs, and specialized codes. You get free shit and it lets our sponsors know we're doing our job for them so we can do more of our job for you. Please do that. And if you could, take one minute out of your day and go to your favorite podcast player,

rate and review us. And give us a funny review. Yeah, it was a funny review. The funny or the best? The funny or the better? So far, they've almost all been funny. There are some that are like great podcasts, funny. Thank you for those too. Yeah, thank you for those too.

But there are some that are really well thought out. There's some funny amount of fuckers out there. I know. I love it. It's all in the spirit of the commercial break. So we say to our Ukrainian friends who are listening, keep up the good fight, we're here, we're with you in spirit. We say to Will Smith, I don't know, nice smack dude.

Nice smack dude. We'll get into that on a different episode in the studio. So make sure you go subscribe to commercial break. I think that's all we can do today. I think that's it. So until next time, I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you.

Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we must say and we do say bye. Bye. I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more

I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more You