The Commercial Break - That Mature Kind Of Love

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Bryan and Krissy (TCB team: Astrid, Mike and Tina) are back from Mempho and the road was long, the beer was cold and flu was transmitted! Bryan is sick which gave him time to dig into the latest internet drama known as TikTok Couch Guy! Bryan and Krissy review a Couch Guy update from Clevver News (isn't that clever!), they discuss their time off from the studio and the excitement to get back to work. Finally, Bryan wonders what happened to the simple act of loving? He finds a vintage educational video sharing with teenager answer the question: "When Am I In Love?" LINKS: Want a TCB limited edition collectible sticker? Each series sticker is limited and first come, first serve. Click HERE to find out how! Or send a text or voicemail to 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor Streamlight Lending By SunTrust Bank (Use Code TCB for additional interest savings) Special Thanks To Moon Cheese For The Snacks! Use Code TCB For 15% Off Moon Cheese Products...Click Here DBSAlliance For Mental Health Help Magic Spoon (Use Code TCB) FUM (Use Code TCB) Smokeless Pipe for Smoking Sesation Castbox is the TCB publishing partner . Download The App Here! Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's Community! Lost in Fount! Each week at 2.30 a.m. on Monday, we provide a community service by offering to find your lost items, or return them to its rightful owner if you found something. Just go ahead and email us here at the station, or you can give us a call live every Monday morning, 2.30 to 4 o'clock in the morning. Let's go straight to it, the email grab bag. Orrenfall says he's missing a glove.

It's brown in nature, extra large, leather, may have some red stains on it and possibly in a state of decomposition. Not sure why a glove would be in a state of decomposition, but if you've found that lost glove, please contact Ornthal at 702-623-9575. That's area code 702-623-9575. Give Ornthal back. His missing glove is going to be called out here in the next few months. We know Ornthal will want

that back for his own specific reasons. Oh my gosh, dang! Did you just hear that on the crab apple, lost and found? Remember that glove you found the other day coming out of the shop and save? It belongs to a man named Ornthom. I'm gonna give him a call right now. It's 722-699-575. Hello, this is yours truly. Unfortunately, I'm unavailable. Leave me a name, man, a message, and a number, and I'll get back to you. Adieu. Hi, Orin Fall. My name is Linda. I think my husband found your glove last Thursday outside the shop in save.

Orinfall, be a doll, call me back. 2-1-2-6-7-4-7. I'll be happy to meet you up and give you that glove back. By myself! Talk soon! Is Mishin. Mishinwa says, like my founder's virginity, it's on my dead spray. Okay, we'll get that to that one in just a second. Let's take a break and we'll get down with the community Austin found you on WSCJT. The commercial break, Memphis 2021, 722. I'm here with Will. Hey, Will, what you doing? Rocking and roll and having a good time.

No, no, no, no, I'm touching butts and busted nuts right now, bro. That's what I'm trying to do. And like, I know I'm not incredible. I'm not incredible. I'm just credible. I know I don't talk shit. The things I say are generally true. And it's a good way to live my life. I'm sorry that you had shitty weed.

I'd never once had shitty weed. That's what you eat. On this episode of the Commercial Break, while we were gone, an incredible piece of drama happened on the internet. Crypt? The internet? Crypt the internet, completely to the internet by storm. Never in the history of ever have I seen such incredible horse shit. Take everybody.

That's saying something. Take everybody by storm. And I've been on what I do for a living with this podcast is basically look at horse shit on the internet. I actually look for horse shit on the internet. I actually look for Horset on the internet. It doesn't matter what I think, it doesn't matter what you think. It's about their relationship.

Again, if you're not someone who knows these two people directly or these two people directly, you should give a fuck about what happens in this video. Unless that dude was fucking getting it in the ass by Harry his roommate or boning the cheer local cheerleader over the Cow-coffee table. This is a non-sequitur. It doesn't fucking matter what happened in this TikTok video Stop it. Stop it in our net. And this is coming from a show that does all this shit all day long Just stop it enough with it. Yeah, this is bad. I told you really stupid stupid

Hurry up and get in bed. Will you? Hurry up and get in bed so your daddy can give you one of those famous hugs he's known for. That's horrible. That's sick. Let's play Big Smooth Middle Spoon. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. We're back and we're better than ever I'm Brian Green. This is Chris than Houdley and happy holidays best to you, Kristi Best to you right best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the commercial break

We're back from Menfo We're having fun here in the studio. It's good to get back It is I was excited. I was too. I actually was really excited to get back in the studio. I feel like I'm reinvigorated. We've got new collaborations coming up. Yeah. Lots of exciting stuff. It was a great networking event.

It was. We had a great reception from the people at Menfo. Thanks to Jeff Fransford. Thanks to Menfo Fest 2021. And thank you to Castbox, our good friends, Valentina, Catherine, Calvin, everybody over at Castbox, how good you are to us on all occasions

and we certainly appreciate all of the love and support you gave us as we ran off to Menfo and we hope to do more in the future. And so here we are back in the studio and I got noticed. I got recognized at Menfo 2021. Oh my God. It's happening. Yeah, so we're gonna be spreading out the love I got I got recognized at Menfo 2021 Yeah, so we're gonna be spreading out the love and we'll be talking about this all through the next coming weeks

I've got a lot of great audio that I will cut up. I wasn't able to do that because I'm a smidge under the weather Yeah, so you can probably hear in my voice. I actually got I got the shits or whatever whatever's going around. I got the shit High blue. Yeah, it's the it's I got the shit. High flu. Yeah, it's the, it's high flu season here in Georgia, and I was unable to. I get the flu shot. Yeah, and when you have kids, it's like a peat tree dish. It is.

The house is like a peat tree dish. One kid gets one thing, gives it to the other, then the other one gives it to you, then you give it back to them, and then it's just like it's a never ending circle of shit. And since their little defenses aren't up, this is the way that their body learns about the world, right?

Is that they get these little organisms, they get sick and then they do it. But the kids have been feverish on and off and had all kind of like, I mean, they're just coming out of all ends here at the house. It's lovely, it's such a wonderful time. It's like a great time. I'm so glad I'm here.

At the greenhouse, it was really funny. So we dropped my kids off at my parents' house, my dad and my stepmom, Susan. And then we run off to the airport to fly over to Memphis. And so when we came back, we told them, because I think it was the appropriate thing to do, even though we had tested, almost daily for the coronavirus.

Yes. We had those tests with us and we did it. We knew that, or at least we assumed we were negative because we had gotten all negative tests, but it was the right thing to do to tell my parents that all negative tests. But it was the right thing to do to tell my parents that we were sick. It just was the right thing to do. Like we're sick.

We're not feeling well. And so you know what they did? They were like, great. Don't even get out of the car. Our don't even come in that way. We'll just throw the kids into the window. They put, including all of their car seats, every bag that we took with them,

all the food, all the treats, all the candy, everything that was coming back with them, they put it all right in the garage, and opened up the door, it was all sitting there behind their cars, and they're like, you load up, we're gonna close the blinds, so the kids can't see you, and when you're ready, we'll just open the door,

and they can run out, and that's exactly what they did, and they had masks on, and it looked like something got a ET, but everyone, all those people kind of like, ah, close the blinds, Elliot! ET, whatever all those people kind of like, ah, close the blinds, Elliot. ET forever. What did I say? ET forever. I-

Reces, PC. Reces, PC. By the way, I don't like Reese's PC. I don't. Oh my God, I love chocolate feet and butter together. I do too, but I don't know. Something about Reese's PC. Does it look like a hard candy shell?

Yeah, maybe that would say it. I don't know, I don't like it, but peanut butter M and MMs, that I like, but the exact same thing, it called Reese's Pieces, I just, I don't know, something like that. Do you like regular Reese's? Ah, I mean, the Reese's Cups. Yeah, you know, I can, I can chew on that.

I've ever wanted to, here's a crazy thing. So on Saturday, even the no one's really feeling good. What we decided to do is run down to the downtown where we live, like the little township north of Atlanta. We decided to run there because they have a, it's called the Kids Halloween Parade. And it's just like one of those old timey, you know, neighborhood parades. It's basically a main street. It's closed. The main street is like, three quarters of a lie along. They close it down and out comes the fire trucks, the police officers, the local high schools and the marching bands and the cheerleaders and all the shit is coming down the street. The band. The band. Yeah, the high school band.

So then all everybody lines up along the street and every single person who's in the parade has an entire box worth of candy that they just throw out on the side of the street, right? And the kids go running. We get the kids these buckets that are probably a foot and a half deep and probably a foot and a half in circumference or like these cloth buckets,

they can use over and over again. Within six minutes of the parade, it's entirely full with candy. Entirely full with candy, both buckets. My son is still begging for more candy. I'm like, son, you know, you don't even know. It's just like you're never gonna eat all this candy. Ever in an entire lifetime, you could not eat this much candy.

Of course it's my son, so maybe he could, but it's an embarrassment of riches. And the entire time I'm thinking after these buckets are full, I'm like, there are children that are literally dying of hunger somewhere on this earth. And we are just like, there is candy lining the street, the gutters of the streets, piles and piles of candy that people had so much, they weren't even picking it up

at one point, it was just like, whatever, you know. Oh, I just thought to myself, wow, I mean, you know, just a white guilt. I just had white guilt all over the place I was like son of a bitch. Yeah, oh, and I have a 25 year old. Okay, so while we were gone, an incredible piece of drama happened on the internet. Grip the internet.

Completely took the internet by storm. Never in the history of ever have I seen such incredible horse shit take everybody. That's saying something. Take everybody by storm. And I've been on what I do for a living with this podcast is basically look at horse shit on the internet. I actually look for horse shit on the internet.

I look for stuff that's a way blown out of proportion. Absurdities of the world. But I think I have found one. Now I found it, it's out there. It's like, if you haven't heard about this, you're probably have your head in the hole. I didn't hear about it. Well, until five minutes ago, when I told you,

but that's how it happens, right? You get, it's kind of passed along about this. Couch guy, let's talk about Couch guy for a second. Couch guy. So Couch guy, for those of you that don't know, I'm going to play a sound clip. This is, I should probably give the woman some credit since I'm about to play her shit here This is clever news clever with two V's which is also clever

Better than that clever news, okay, this is clever news Giving them a plug. I'll put a link in the in the thing. I don't I'm not trying to rip you off I just want to I just want a video that's the same thing can clearly explain. So now, for those of you that don't know what couch guy is, we're about to give you about a three and a half minute explanation of what couch guy, this drama, gripping the internet is, and you're going to,

now you can see how much our lives have absolutely turned into absurd nothingness. We are literally that meta. We are so meta that we all think we're true crime detectives in a movie trying to figure out everybody else's life. Stop with this shit. Even if Brian Green is telling you this, you know you've really gone off to deep end. Is it a heartwarming reunion or a video full of red flags?

It is time to put on our Sherlock Holmes hats and dive into the latest saga that is dominating TikTok users for your pages. First of all, this kind of shit that already starts the shit, right? I mean, I know. Times that are shit. I started to put out our Sherlock Holmes hats and find out whether or not this girl's life is going to be ruined forever. I tick-tock video. I am contributing to that ruining of that life. My life is indeed less meaning than this woman.

Sorry to the lovely young Australian girl who's doing this. I'm sure that there's a big money behind the clever, ver, ver, ver news. The clever, ver, ver news. But this is true horse shit. Couch a guy. Let's get into it. If you've taken a scroll through TikTok lately, you may or may not have come across a video made by TikTok user Lauren Zaris, who posted the seemingly sweet moment she surprised her boyfriend at his college

on September 21st, set to still falling for you by Ellie Goulding. Lauren captioned the video, Robbie had no idea, as she could be seen walking into an apartment with her backpack on, suitcase in tow to surprise her boyfriend, Robbie, aka couch guy, as he sits next to three young women. Okay, you got that? Girls away from college, guys away from college. His girlfriend, longtime girlfriend, decides to come visit him at his college. Surprise! Surprise!

She walks into an apartment where he is, he's sitting next to two young ladies on a couch across the room. She walks in. When he spots Lauren, he looks up at her with some surprise and then slowly gets up from the couch to greet her. She goes in for the kiss, he opts for a hug and that's literally all the internet needed to start investigating the entire situation like it's a true crime documentary.

For me this is just every girl I've ever dated. I mean this is nothing new. No one's ever been surprised by me. She turns her head and goes, that's fun. Come on, you're not the person I wanted to see today. I'm trying to Mack on these two hot chicks over here. I'm doing that slow ghosting thing you do when you go away to college. It's like, yeah, we're gonna be together forever, honey,

baby, sweetie. Oh my God, the college girls have huge dits. Like, this is, there's nothing abnormal about what's going on here. The guy is surprised, everyone deals with surprise differently. Like I have to defend the couch guy a little bit here. Like the poor bastard is just being videotaped and he doesn't know what's going on.

Right, I would be surprised too if I looked up and then there's somebody walking in with a video camera for what are the phone, phone is the camera man. But the phone is being taped and whatever. I'd be so blind, it takes me three minutes to register any human being. I don't notice my children in the morning for a half an hour until I get my coffee.

I'm like, who's this little shit tugging at my children? I woke up this morning and Mia was like fumbling through my bedside drawers and I swear to God I was having a dream about something and I woke up and I was like, stand, stop it. Who's standing, daddy? I don't know but stop going through my drawers. The video has, of course, spread like wildfire. What do you mean, of course, of course, of course a video like this should never spread like wildfire. What do you mean of course? Of course. Of course a video like this should never spread like wildfire. It's no original, no interesting, unless you know these two particular human beings.

Everybody else should shut the fuck up. Either call it cute or move on. Right. Cross TikTok. And inspired a major debate among users about couch guys body language. Many commenters are urging Lauren to see the red flags that they spotted within the clip. Like this user who explained, girls know vibes of other girls. We all got

the same feeling. Like this user who explained, I've never had a boyfriend in my entire life. Like this user who explained, I'm too afraid to go outside. Only one tick-tock video. Yeah, come on, man. This is a fucking give it up. Maybe the guy is dating the two girls in the couch. Maybe he doesn't love Lauren anymore. Who gives a fucking? How are you supposed to tell that from one freaking 30 second in our action?

This is the most ridiculous thing that the internet has ever... Our lives have reached peak meaninglessness. That's true. Fucking Kim Kardashian is now the host of Saturday Night fucking live. And couch guy is what we're talking about for the rest of our lives. Yep. Sorry you don't want to see it. His boys and those girls know.

Another simply wrote, the girls look sus. The boys look amused. The boyfriend looks scared. Says, please ask questions. Some other comments are simply pointing out just how weird the vibes within the video seem to be with one user writing, you can feel the awkward tension both and another stating,

I've never seen someone so unhappy to see their girlfriend. Even shot. Oh my God, not true. But they didn't look unhappy. Not true. I saw a video they did not look unhappy. I did a woman in one time and every time I walked in the house

I was a little more unhappy did not look unhappy. I did it a woman one time and every time I walked in the house I was way more unhappy and to see her said this. I was like, ah shit! She's back. You're not, you haven't left yet? You're completely back your stuff and go. I told you like four months ago. UpTanks, Barbara Cokerin,

couldn't help but comment on the viral video stating, use these two words wisely, Lauren. I'm out. Let's talk about Barbara Corcor. Barbara, why are you weighing in? Why is it that that sometimes white women who get of a certain age start losing their fucking marbles? First of all, Barbara Corcoran should be the last person to be waiting into a TikTok video

controversy. She is like the last person on earth. We should be talking about TikTok. She's all wonderfully smart human being is made billions of dollars on Shark Tank. And I like her on Shark Tank. But then she went on the view and called a whoopie Goldberg's ass fat. Did you hear that? Yeah. She called her like, she said that she could take whoopie Goldberg's jeans and turn it into two pairs of her own. And it was she was trying to like be like a joke. I guess they're friends like a joke, but it certainly was not taken that way. It felt way flat. Why? Why?

Far from it. Like women of a certain age start turning to shit at some point. They start all turning into Karen. Stop it, Karen. What are you doing? Hey, Barbara, let's stay out of it. You don't make the money on Shark Tank. Do you have to then go waiting into tick. controversy? I'd say, listen, there's three more minutes. We don't need to listen to it. Here's the point. Basically, the guy was on the couch and he didn't jump up out of excitement

and run and give this girl a kiss. He also didn't give her a kiss. He just gave her a hug, but it was a polite hug and you could tell that he was in some way, shape, or form, I guess, glad to see her, but it doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what you think. It's about their relationship

Again, if you're not someone who knows these two people directly or these two people directly You should give a fuck about what happens in this video unless that dude was fucking getting it in the ass by Harry His roommate or bone in the cheer local cheerleader over the couch coffee table Exactly. This is a non-sequitur. It doesn't fucking matter what happened in this TikTok video. Stop it, stop it internet. And this is coming from a show that does all this shit all day long. Just stop it, enough with it. Yeah, that's bad.

That's really stupid. Stupid. That's a stupid. A collective 432 million views on this video and the videos about this video right right people are literally becoming tick tock famous talking about this video and that's the problem with this Society is that anybody can start a podcast or a tiktok channel in two point two seconds When you get recognized at a festival outside of your own hometown, is that when you consider yourself famous? Yeah.

I think so. Hey everybody, it's that time in the show. When I gotta let you know that, www.tcbpodcast.com is where you go to find out more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes. Watch all the video and listen to all the audio. Our entire media library is at tcbpodcast.com, so go there and check it out. Also, there's a ton of excitement about our new Collectible Sticker series.

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So please visit lightstream.com slash TCB for more information, L-I-G-H-T-S-T-R-E-A-M dot com slash TCB for more information. So God be thinking about love. And how love has changed in so many ways in the last 40, 50, 60, 70 years, right? I mean, I didn't like used to be so much simpler. We just, you liked Janie and you slipped her a note and you know, I'll tell you're going to say slip or something. Well, you slipped her. Bravaka, cool. with extenders. Extender.

Extender is the key. That's the key. You can actually step away. You have make yourself a cup of Joe. Hey, honey, I'll be over here. I'm whipping up some pancakes from breakfast. Keep that extended coming. Bavaka cooler three thousand.

Walk away. Walk away. Bavaka cooler three thousand understands that you have more Provaca cooler 3000 walk away For vodka cooler 3000 understands that you have more important things to do so we've made the vibrating Jackrabbit hammered 3000 with extender Go up to a hundred feet away from your girlfriend while she orgasms Hey, honey. I'm gonna watch the Braves game. No problem. Just keep that vibrator up. That's to you. Keep it on maximum jack. The jackhammer 3000.

We're gonna do a show about the name of Sex Toys. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it will be. Okay, so got me thinking about love. And of course, what I did is I went over to my, one of my favorite YouTube channels, which is called Old Timy TV. They have doubt, like I think thousands, I don't know hundreds at least,

of videos of old PSA videos, or educational videos that were run back anywhere from the 40s through the 80s. Okay. These videos that we've reviewed from time to time. And I found one called Ready for Love. Are you ready for love? And I thought we'd review it here

on the commercial break because that's what we do. We're ready for love. Let's go. Oh, the wonderful world of Tik Tok Love. Share your every moment, scrutinized by every asshole from here that's a peka Kansas you want that fat 53 year old with shido fingers to comment on your love story post it on tiktok yeah post it on tiktok which by the way tiktok is a

crazy place I just want to let you know that. Yes, it is. I love how these videos they all start off with this. Oh, do you love me? Oh, I don't know, Jair. You're the only girl I've dated in. In two months. Ha! Two months? Two months!

Two months! I don't expect that. Ha! Ha! Ha! You're the only person that dated today. Do you love me? Too much. Do you remember when you were like, you know, I don't know if this was on for you, but I was just talking about this with Astrid.

There was a reality show that we were watching a 90 day fiance version of something. And the guy was, he's like a Mormon. And he was explaining to the woman that he's dating this Russian girl that he lied to her, that he actually, he's not a virgin, that in between the ages of 18 and- She's like, thank God. No, she was pissed. Because he told her that he was a virgin, that he'd never even made out with anybody, but then he persisted to tell her between the ages of 18 and 25, he made out with over 100

women, and I'm like, dude, you would have to be making out with a girl every other week a Different woman every other week in that seven-year period and I'm sorry But there's high school and you know boners that don't work and you know Scarity Katniss and this guy's not a particular handsome young man either so I don't know where he's making out with a hundred women but even Even someone who who started experiencing sexual feelings at a young age. Yeah, well, I remember back in the day when saying the word love was like a holy shit storm.

Like you really that was a big fucking deep and it took months and months and months and months. And when you said it, it was like the world exploded into a brand new area. Where did you told them you loved them? Right. No, but I think we're there. I almost said it the other night. When he was fingering the side of my leg. I think I found your clitoris.

That's my kneecap, honey. Like, but I don't love you. I don't know what it feels like either. So don't worry about it. I think I love you. I think I love you. Can I go under the bra? Not yet. We get along fine.

You do love me, don't you? I think so, but I have to think about it. Oh! Oh, good enough to think about it. This is why I never say I love you first, because I'm afraid of this reaction. Never. I think Ascord is the first person I've ever said I love you two first. And by the way, I said I love you to Ascord in like a week. I was like, I love you.

We're already planning our wedding. That's the first trip that I took to see her. Yeah. Wedding then used the first time she came here. It was insane. Aww. But this poor bastard, you know, I like you just fine. I think you like me.

We've been dating for two months. You're the only one I'm dating. I guess I love you. You're like, I'm sorry, Billy. I gotta think'm sorry Billy I gotta think about it you're kind of ugly and there's lots of other boys I'd like to have sex with before I think about do you mind if I have sex with your older brother? Then I really This is a woman in charge. Yeah, little Tina Little taste

Fingered it finger it a little taste. Fingered it. Fingered it. This is a girl who knows what she wants. She's not going to be pushed into saying I love you. She's like, let me think about it. Now, I'll get back to you. And since there's no phones right now, I'm going to write you a letter if you don't mind. Take three to six of us business days to get there. They had a whole orchestra score.

That was really nice. That was really nice of them. That was a big budget. Huge budget for a deal you love me. Yeah, it's called are you ready for love? Are you ready for love? Hello, dear. Mama, have a nice time.

I'll see. Jack's awfully handsome. Such a... It's such a smart guy with a huge penis. Move, dancer. Mama, how can I tell if... I mean, how did you know when you were in love with Dad? I'm not. Well, it was the first year of marriage when I finally figured out that your dad is a

S.S.S. Lavinely asshole drinks too much smoke cigarettes and has sex with the girls of the country clone. Well, I think it was when I got pregnant with you, honey. I'm all in now. I'm all in now. I said mine as well say I love you now dad's gonna make us get married At the courthouse I've been in love several times before what scandalous

Yeah, Mrs. Cromford Mrs. Cumpet indeed. I've had it in love several times. Your father's not one of them. Yeah, right. But that's not how life works, honey. Sit down. Let me tell you about.

Would you like a glass of wine? Yeah, life for women in the 1950s. Just like some glass of wine. How about a Coca-Cola with real cocaine? Let's talk. Let's talk. To all night long. Come here and sit down on mama's lap and watch my leg jitter and my jaw jabber. I've been drinking real

cocaine all day long. The doctor gave me pharmaceutical grain cocaine because of all the depression. I'm not being in love with your father. From not being in love with your father and stuck at home with no dishwasher. That's right. I didn't have a good news. Yeah, because I can't do anything but be a parent to you, your shitty kid asking me stupid questions. I've been drinking pure pharmaceutical cocaine.

And daddy also gives me downers a night. It's a fun life. I hear Elvis is on the same diet. I got to know I could recognize the symptoms several times. Mm-hmm. The symptoms. Symptoms. What? I didn't. Mom, I said love, not to clap. I'm sorry darling, I thought you said syphilis. It's all that cocaine making me crazy in the... It's all those diet pills. Back in the 1950s, made of pure infetomy. Oh yeah, and the 50s they had a good shit.

Yeah, you just, you gotta prescribe to you. I mean, I like the 2020s, but that whole, you know, that whole, you know, pain killer crisis, really put a damper on the fun we were having with the doctors. No, no, like check shit out. And now you're really got to pay doctor a lot of money before you'd walk in with a blister on your finger, give you six months worth of vikin' in. Now you can't give leave with a days worth and then you have to go back to the doctor

every day to get some more. Meanwhile, then they get you know, every time I go to the doctor, I don't take painkillers, it's not an as a general rule, because quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me. And we've all taken a wheel, and we all know what it's like. We know it's probably easy to get addicted to painkillers, right?

Because it's quite frankly, they feel good. I don't like the way they make me feel. I like the way they make me feel. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't like the way they make me feel. Okay, well, you know, I'm not in the majority. Yeah, you're not in the majority

because there's a whole country full of pain killers. But back in the 50s, the doctors literally, I mean, I think maybe in the 40s, maybe not in the 50s. But in the 40s and 50s, cocaine had, I mean, Coca-Cola had cocaine in it. The doctors would prescribe you pure andphetamines as diet pills. They would give you like a roof and all as sleeping aid. I mean, they were giving you a good shit out.

That's why everyone was so polite back then. They all fucking high. They didn't have a care in the world. If you just gave us what we needed, we'd be fine. Maybe we wouldn't have, you know, couch guy. We wouldn't worry about TikTok. We wouldn't have couch guy. If you would just keep on giving needed, we'd be fine. Maybe we wouldn't have couch guy. We wouldn't worry about tiktok. We wouldn't have couch guy if you would just keep on giving us pure and fedamines and give us the morphine that we wanted.

Yeah. And each. That's right. That's time I thought I'd found my prince charming. Most people fall in love quite a few times in their lives. Well then, how can you tell when you're really in love? Well, well, how much does he make? Have you been able to have anal with a guy? That's how you know you're in love. That's love. When you're ready to take it up the poop and shoot. There you go. Oh my god we're so

horrible. Surprise anybody buys ad time on the show. I really am This episode brought to you by Disney Disney's 50th anniversary Come get your anal Let the kids ride the seven muddores mind-trained what you do anal in our cleanly bathrooms. We clean them for you. I have to think about that. Let's say tomorrow, shall we? I. I'm thinking about that. Well,

I'm thinking about that. Let me do some more of this. In fetamine. Mommy, mommy's going to go back to her plug-in dildo. Let me let me think about it. I'm going to take some more infetimins. Maybe a value or two. It was hilarious. What a hurt.

I don't know. Where? Yeah, some of these are really boring and some are just going, yeah. No! Why are you asking me stupid questions? You're too young for this shit. You're the symptoms of blood.

The symptoms of blood. Good night. good night, dear And that's that yeah Then your dad are gonna go have a key party downstairs The girls and I are having a rainbow party, you know what that is we each put on a different lipstick and below the boys around the country club Whoever ends up with a rainbow wins a brand new car! It's what we do! That's the way it works! It's the symptoms of love!

Your dad said if I gave the neighbor a blowjob and he could watch I'd get a brand new one of those dishwashers! Women have come a long way! Absolutely! Most people fall in love quite a few times. I wonder if Jack knows that. I went there if Jack knows that. Where are you from, Oklahoma? I'm Jack knows that. That's a Chicago accent I've never heard of.

I tell you, Brown, I haven't dated any girl but Nora in two months. We're really in love. And you were really in love with Betty and Mary and Dallas and I don't know who else. You're a man of horror! Son, put your dick back in your pants and ain't love. It's called an erection. I don't even know who else.

It's called an octurnal emission. Son, it's to wet dream. By the time you're 40 you'll be begging for a wet dream. Now shut up and masturbate like the rest of the boys are eight. And there'll be others I suppose. Oh no, that's over with. You know, Bob, nor is the prettiest girl I've ever known. She's just as beautiful as beautiful.

And you think that's all that matters? Yes, I do, yeah! That's it! My love, she gives me a rocket ship every time I'm around. That's all I need to know. I got a little bit of a dick into my pants every time I'm around her. I don't know what goes on. It's like it's got the mind of its own

Oh hurry up and get in bed, will you? Hurry up and get in bed so your daddy can give you one of those famous hugs. He's known for That's horrible. Let's play Big Spoon Middle Spoon. What do you say, Charlie? Oh, dad, I'm getting too old for this. You're never too old, son. Bob, did you feel this way when you found love with G? Oh, look, I felt bad. This is a big brother by the way. Oh, wait lots of times. The trouble with you is you don't

seem to understand what love is really about. You young punks go to the movies a couple of times, do a little necking and you think you're in love. I've never seen anything like it. All right, one. Is this next generation coming from one year behind me? It's crazy. I don't know what's going on with you crazy cats. I've never seen anything like it in all my 14 years.

Of course, life expectancy is 50, so I'm halfway through my life, but I've never seen anything like it in my entire life You go to the movies finger Sally and all the sudden you're in love. You're ready to get married Back in my day, we've fingered many girls last year Back in my day in June of this year I Fingered 12 women. I didn't fall in love with one of them. Because I know what love's all about. It's got more to do with kissing. It's about that

tits and the vagina. It's the girl who do anal. That's what you got to think about. Bob, you kids are ready to run and jump into love with one's pop of a nipple Back in June you crazy kids I don't know what happened in the last six months, but Y'all've gotten nuts everyone's falling love with each other Oh, do you haven't even had a cuckold yet? Nothing says love like watching your girlfriend get bombed by the quarterback. That's what love is. When you can sit there and jack off to your girl getting pounded by the quarterback, that's a true love.

Now slow down. Take a thing to do fast. As the do is ask, you don't have to get sore a lot, do you? Oh, I'm sorry, Jack, but look at it this way. You just haven't been around enough to know what love really is. Believe me, it's nothing like the slush they give you in the movies. By the time you turn my age four months from now, you'll know all about it. Right.

The slush they sell you in the movies. I don't slush. That was sludge. I don't know what they're talking about in the movies. Well, I don't know, Mom. That's right. You don't know. That's right.

You're an asshole. You don't know. That's right. You're an asshole. Do not know anything. I knew more in my little pinky at your age than you'll ever know. That was four months ago. It was fake in April. Maybe you would understand better. Say I've got a idea. How'd you like to double date with Gina me tomorrow night?

I'll show you, it's done Let you have sex with it If you're a lover afterwards take her she's yours Well sure Bob that would be swell sure you wouldn't mind But if you let me get some sleep now Yeah, if you let me get some sleep now come here and be the little spoon Like daddy taught you come on they sleep in the same room still. I love these kids By the way, these are double-dame in that game to you all in the movie. They're miscast completely.

Oh Jack that sounds like loads of fun. See you tonight. Goodbye. That sounds like loads of fun. Double dating? Double dating. That sounds like loads of fun Jack. That's two loads. Like Schwarzenegger. I'll be gizzing everywhere Guess what mother Jack and I are going in a double date with Jack's brother Bob and his girlfriend

They're engaged in so much and long Genius most beautiful dime all of that's fine there I've met Bob. I think he's awfully nice. I do too. Bob came over. Hi, bear. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade.

I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade.

I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've been hitting on Bob since he was in seventh grade. I've your father could get a strong erection like Bob. She sound a little off. I know. She is. She's all off top. Telling you. She's division bended doctor few days.

Yeah. I'm speaking of love. weren't you and I going to talk about that today? Yes, we were. We were, but then I realized you had bad example all around. That you're just an alcoholic taking a bunch of pills from doctors. What did you say? They were.

You just haven't talked about that after lunch. We were, but don't worry about it now. You scare me, mommy. I've been thinking about your question, and well, the pool is we look at these snapshots together. M-Mashots? M-hots together hmm snapshot hmm what do they have to do with love oh I was just thinking this this is your daddy and I are in various states of undress because videotape is really expensive I found these Polaroid I found these polaroids. Mail, explain things. Of me, your dad and the mailman having a really good time. There's the mailman delivering a special package to mommy.

Look at his stab shot. Oh, nice shot. Little guy on the camera and that that shot that's not a ghost. That's your dad That was your dad when he could chew on across the room now he's lucky if it dribbles out That's how I knew I was in love. He shot us across the room. I literally stand in the corner and go, but catch me. Oh my god.

Oh, there's the mailman giving your dad a reach around it. Your dad was into things like that back then. There's just an old asshole. No, he does his cry every time he sees the mail, man. Where does this show go? Where does it go? It's like my help. You need someone to ask.

You're a capacity for love, growth and develops, just as you grow and develop. Here, look at the chase of these. This is pure estrogen mixed with endphetamine, of course. Of course. You're going to go hair on your chuteon boobs before you know it. I'll take this. Just take these. Here.

It's the downfall of civilization. Oh, mother, did you have to keep there? You know, in a way, you're in love even then. Every baby loves its parents for their care and protection. Of course, some people expect that care and protection all their lives. They never grow up, but it is the kind of life. Like your brother, David, who's currently downstairs in the basement doing nothing but watching leave it to be for 24 hours a day.

And eating those new fangled TV dinners, the kind you put in the oven that have aluminum foil on the top that are scolding hot when they come out, but frozen in the middle. And they're always turkey and gravy. Always. Always. Now, I'll compare that with this picture. Oh, that's the boy who used to live next door. My how he did love his teddy bear.

Long? That's right. That's a kind of love too. Possessiveness. The kind between a man and his teddy bear. What you can't see in this picture is a whole in the anus of this teddy bear. It's a special kind of love between a man and his teddy bear. Jimmy really wore that thing out. I had to sew that whole up multiple times. Some of this never get over being possessive when we're in love. Do we? You're beginning to understand. No. Hear this nap that shows how we learn to return love by doing things for others. Here's one of me on your knees, on my knees with your father and wedding night.

We had a red-sourge. Father and wedding night. You got a reserve. Here's your father. Here's your father. Deepen my valley. Look at those two mountains. Well what about love of our friends? Isn't that a stage of love? Yes, I think it is.

Here, look at this. Well, that's Betty and Ellen and Anne. I took that picture with my first camera. Oh, I know. There was a time when I wouldn't look at anyone but my special friend. Ah, that's that angry view. That was a weird one. My special friend. I walked around with a mirror between my ex-fascin' friends. My special friend. Yes, never. special friends. But back then none of this was creepy and she's talking about possessiveness in her friends and this is not the way you teach a lot. Oh the mom goes, now you're getting it.

Now you're getting it. The downfall of civilization right here in front of my eyes for all to see. I guess that was a stage of love. Yes. And boys go through a similar stage when they stick together and gang the more than anything to do with girls. We can change that. They're whacking each other off. That's got a circle. It's got a circle, it's perfectly normal. No, no, no.

Boys can't control themselves. They're literal heathens. Boys can't control themselves. They're literal heathens. Now let's see. Oh, do you remember this picture? The captain of the football team. That was two or three years ago. You could eat and wear a cup. You could see his junk. That's what I found out about him. Button penis look like.

It's barely there, mom. Barely there. He never knew how much I loved him. I guess he never knew I existed at all. Well, we all go through crashes like that on teachers or sports stars or movie stars. Then after a while, there's a stage that some people call puppy love. But it's more, I don't most completely forgot. I've got the opposite of puppy love. I've got like whatever that is for the dogs, the puppy love.

I've got the opposite of that for Nico and blue currently. As Nico continues his process of decomposure right of our eyes and I think blue is sensing blood in the water. It's like just so clean and clean for hours a day waiting for him to die poor guy. I know we got to put him outside now when he sleeps it's bad. I mean we got to put him outside like outside of the room when they sleep because it was anyway. Remember how important it seemed at the time? I'll say. And it really was important as a part of learning how to love and be loved. I think I can tell puppy love.

Oh look, there's a couple who met a camp last summer. I certainly caught them. She's pregnant now. There's not couple I met. The camp went. Rumor is she got pregnant and no one's heard from her soon. Oh honey, she went to the cat skills. We're out there pregnant girls are age go.

Yes, and that's another stage where the physical side of love dominates. That's when Brian comes in. Then I did it it it it it. Well I'm a baby I'm a darling. Hello my right time girl. I know I'm a little old for you. But I've got a presentation you will not want to miss. Sometimes this is mistaken for material love.

But there's a difference. Material love. That's a new way of thinking about it. How can you tell when love is mature? Well, material love. Well, when there's hair down there, you're on your way. Well when you open up a pair of jeans and you see a big bushy puzzle roll out it just wild uncontrolled pubic air. You can consider that mature look. Oh my god. Here's another way you can't stop having sex with each other.

Literally 24 hours a day. That's all you want to do. It's home-black little rabbits. That's mature love also. There's more battle. Mature love has something of the other kind of love in it and something more. Listen to the Disney music in the back of it. Can you imagine anybody watching this and going, yeah, spot on. What about love?

I'm totally confused. There's puppy love, love with friends, there's circle jerking going on. There's the kind of love you have with a tree, the kind you have with a teddy bear. What is this that to do with Jack? I just wanted to know about Jack. Did I go with a double-deaf? It's tender. They're gonna go. They're gonna go.

They are. I'm self. They have loads of fun. Cooperative. When I get three. Loads is the key word. I want to have that kind of love. That's a good idea, dear.

And if you aren't sure, you can always ask yourself some questions. Do you get a tickle in your wick and your pickle? If you get a tickle in your pickle, it's like... It's likely you're in love. Are we really interested in the same things? Do we feel at ease together? Are we proud of each other? Do we agree on the basic thing with such as religion, marriage, children, money, and so on? Thanks, mother.

I know that'll help. I hope so, dear. No, I'm so dear. I don't like that. I actually don't give a shit. I'm so high. I can't feel my face. My teeth are numb.

Are they still there? I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so do you like that. I actually don't give a shit. I'm so high I can't feel my face. My teeth are numb. Are they still there? I feel like I'm wearing dentures. You ought to agree on the basic stuff. Like what time is math class? Are we really interested in the same thing? Do we feel at ease together? Are we proud of each other? Are we agreed on basic things?

I wonder. I'm going to watch Bob and Jean. See if they have a mature love. I'm going to watch Bob and Jean through the window later on and see what kind of love is there. Do we have the gray on the basics? Like, which hole should we put it in? Right. Yeah.

This show is not brought to you by Fire Sign. I just let you know. Ah, the big city lights. The bright bustling streets and the loud street musicians. It's time to go on a double date. Woo! It's great, it's a drag show, you're gonna love it. They bring out a donkey at the auto and surprise me. I don't want to ruin the surprise.

How old are you? 13? You're old enough. Back in my day, six months ago, I'd already seen two of the donkey shows. Just wait. Yeah, just take it in. It's one of our favorite spots. Yes, we sort of found a together. You might say, and we come here quite often. Oh, the real Chinese dishes are over here.

Thanks, Bob. Oh, Bob, look what came today. What? Oh, the season takes us for our concert series. And guess what? You're going to have to sit through another concert by that young French pianist who didn't like it. You mean the same one we saw last season? That's right. And maybe this year you'll agree with me that he has real talent.

Oh, maybe. But don't, maybe, or maybe I'll slap you in the face for making me go see that Frenchman. It's got a huge penis. I know you got a crush on a Betty. That's enough with your shit. What's your problem? I don't think they're liking the same thing. What kind of, yeah, what kind of concert series? I don't think they're liking the same thing. What kind of yeah, what kind of concert series?

Yeah It's already going to see French pianists in buddy Holly playing or something I mean seriously, where's Ed Sullivan when you need him? Isn't the dick van Dyke show on right on oh something I love Lucy. Yeah French concert pianist you hated of course I did That was last year back again playing the same shitty music you Who's back again to record chicken.ka, check it, let's begin. I'm the French P and a steel, you girl. I've been doing the two around the world.

Hey! Welcome to that French music concert, you hate. I am French musician, you hate. But since you've got concert season tickets, you might as well come and listen. The French musician was This is just 60 years later widespread bandages during around just what I never wanted to know that You don't have to go see that French pianist

Only these improved the whole Bob well at least we'll have fun debating. Do Bob and Jean have a mature love? Are they interested in the same thing? I'll say that. No go. These things we have so many things to talk about and do together. Say Nora, talking about music. Have you heard the new recording of the Browns Violin Concerto?

Yeah! Concerto! What? Have you heard the new Hot Record? By the Bobbyshop quartet? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Like... Like, sure.

Boardwalk favorites. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Speaking of music? Ha, hawalk favorites. Speaking of music. Speaking of music? Yes. Have you heard that news? Share it. Number five. Number five is playing in the Waffle House jukebox.

It's delicious. Oh, it's so much better when this orchestra was the one that the last August had in it. So much better. You're a square, Jack, and I just don't like you. I thought he was going to say, have you heard that new album? I know, right. This is like in the 1950s, and it's like 60s. This is not like, you know, 1922.

Well, no, I guess I never really learned to appreciate classical music. Are Jack and I interested in the same thing? I wonder. He seems like more of an asshole than I am. He doesn't like the way he's doing it like it's ever been. He seems like the kind of guy that would dip men. I don't know, I just have a feeling. Another question, my man.

Do we feel at ease with each other? You know, there's no telling what we'll get, but I'm wanting to take a chance if you are. Oh, that's the Bob and Bob. What about some of this water crust salad? That's a fine idea. Bob and Jean certainly are at ease with each other. But what about us? Well, I've made out my mind. I'm going to have the leg of lamb.

Oh, well, I thought it would be fun to try a Chinese dish. That's all right, if you like that stuff. Me, I'll stick to the lamb. Oh, come on, Nora. Take a chance with us on the lobster cantony. Oh, I like Nora take a chance with us on the lobster cantony or I like them No, take a chance with us on these live cats Oh, that's just fine, but I think I'll have a cheeseburger

Because there's nothing better out of the Chinese restaurant than the cheeseburger Oh, I don't always feel at ease with Jack. He's so unpredictable. I guess I am too. We don't really know each other. And mom talks about being proud of each other. I'm not proud of Jack. He's an asshole. He's a real shithead if you ask me. I want to hide him away. I don't know when Caesar's.

Sometimes I call him David in front of other people so they won't know it's Jack. I wonder if I could ever be as proud of Jack as Gene is a Bob. Not right here and now maybe, but he does have his point. When he gets out of that ball diamond, anybody would be proud of me. But I wonder if we'd ever agree on basic things. Jack, you know who I saw that day? I saw Bill Johnson on this one. You know they've got a flying purple kid.

They dress them up like cowboys. Kids are such fun. Don't you think so, Nora? Well, I... Oh, here's the waiter with us. Zoot. Children. Oh, we've never talked about things like that. Or religion, or marriage, or money.

Bob and Gene really understand each other. They do have a mature love. What have you guys been talking about for two months? I mean, just that's gonna question. We haven't ever talked about anything. I don't know what Natsuki likes. You're not sure what he likes to eat. No, religion politics.

No, religion politics sex. Yeah. I would venture to say that this is not the Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh.

Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh.

Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Not a Dementier Laugh. Well, I guess after seeing Bob and Jean, well, I think that love, a real material love is more than I'd imagine. I guess so. Unbobbing Jean, it looks alright, but... We're not ready for that kind of attachment only.

But... I'm letting you down slowly, everybody. I think your brother's really hot. Do you think him and Gene are gonna be together much longer? You don't mind if I take a run at it, do you? Well, I guess not. Now that you put it that way, I love everyone so agreeable back then. No, you're right. We're not ready for that guy level of attachment.

I really just want to go and screw a bunch of other ladies. We can still have a lot of fun, can't we? Sure we can. Sure we can. Would you like to come in? I really just want to go and screw a bunch of other ladies. We can still have a lot of fun, can't we? Sure we can. Sure we can. Would you like to come in and pound you over the couch? Oh sure, Jack, that sounds like a swell time.

Yeah. Yeah. How about going roller skating next Friday night? Oh Jack, that's a wonderful idea. That's the kind of fun I like. What time? About 8.15. Well, I'll see you then. Thanks for the seat. Good night. Good night. Well, I wish the couch guys got ahead and did it that well. Right. That's right. Everything's all well that ends well.

Exactly the overall skating. That's right. They're going roller skating. And they'll just continue to have just surface level conversation. Surface conversation. They'll be married. Weather. They'll be pregnant. They'll get married in a couple of years. They'll be divorced by 83. Yeah.

Oh, she'll be your high school, high school English teacher. Having sex with all the boys in the back room. You know how it goes, that's how it all ends up. Yeah. Wow. Woo! I had fun with that one. Never does a good one.

Yeah, how do I know it's love? Well, just remember, you're looking for that mature love. Do you want to agree on things? Have you ever talked to each other before? I do. Do you like content on number five? Do you like that Frenchman who's playing the piano. Oh, so much funnier at the TCB Studios.

So much fun. www.tcbpodcast.com is where you go. Read more about Chrissy and I. You can get your sticker number one is out there right now. And we have a few left. We gave a lot of way at Mempho. We're sending out a batch this week. And there are still a few more left, we gave a lot of way at Mempho. We're sending out a batch this week and are still a few more left

before we start number two. So go to tcbpodcast.com to claim your sticker 661. Best to yo, that's 661. The word best, the number two. Yo, please text us or leave us a message. You have any content ideas? You wanna talk to us, ask us a question or just generally get in touch with us.

That's the way you do it. Or on the website, Instagram, YouTube, like and subscribe, leave a review, you can do all that stuff and get your sticker. We love you, that's the bottom line. We do love you. We have a mature kind of love for you. We do know what you like.

We do know what you're into. We do have similar interests. If you've made it this far in the episode, we're in love That's definitely a mature kind of love. Okay. What else? What else can we do today? I think that's it too. I love you. I love you Best to you best to you. You got to practice. I'm gonna get back into it after a couple of days All right best to you out there in the podcast audience. Best of you. And until next time, best of you. Best of you. Bye!

The commercial break. New episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtler, with 1. Draw the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines of the lines who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say 1. Draw the line on the back of the head. 2. Draw the line on the back to the place where I was born and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born

and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born

and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born and I'm gonna go back to the you you