The Commercial Break - That Taint Tan!

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Tanning has many proven health benefits....according to Bryan. But even Bryan won't sun his naked "hole"! Two wild and crazy guys from CA are encouraging people to get out in that summer sun and tan your taint! Why Files is a GREAT YouTube channel! Can you live without a head? Miracle Mike is a chicken with his head cut off Would you freeze your head after death? Vabbing is a thing the ladies are doing....are you? Pheromones play a role in attraction Bryan is tanning bed crazy this time of year Tan your anus is a trend on the Tok. Go tan that hole! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for MEN too! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1.855.TCB.8383  or 661.BEST.2.YO (1-661-237-8296) Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Functions: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Commercial Breakers Roxanne Dave Sydney Ronald M Stu Carly Mia Jake DAS Amanda Julie Charlene Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everybody's affuminous until their big toast starts growing that hair Then you got to make a choice On this episode of the commercial break How old are you? blended blended rate. I'm like 36 My head 70, well my dick is 20 No, why Brian 3000 needed it! I can see some people at parties we go to, like running around a big fire on the substance.

Oh yeah! Well, babbing! Babbing each other, it's Mother Moon! Mother's milk! We're gonna collect a jar of it and sacrifice it to the moon. Spread it all over the men's teepees. Well I thought I was close to the Lord. Look at that. If I follow that happy trail all the way to Christ, I'm still here right now. Turn a straight man straighter, you know what I'm saying, Chrissy? Turn a straight man into a preacher. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, cats, again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Anne Coho's, Christen Joy Holy. Best of you, Chrissy.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Hallelujah. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. The commercial break, it's not for everyone, but Fagnusar Fiction is guaranteed in 30 seconds or less. Are you money back? Go to theTCBpodcast.com website to collect your earnings. I have to give a shout out to my favorite YouTube channel right now, because I just have to. It's such a great channel.

It's called The Y Files. Okayiles. WF, the Y Files. You can go there and you can search for it. This guy takes popular myths, conspiracy theories, and urban legends. And he walks through them in a way that's at first you're like, oh, wow, this could be real, right? But if it's if it's not real, he then he explains why it's not real. He's very Pregnant. I love it. I love it. And his saying he said this the other day on a video and I thought this is so brilliant He's like, I know a lot of you out there think that I'm here just a debunk your favorite conspiracy theory and that you know I'm pessimist and you know, I you know, don't look at thing whatever. He says, but that's not true He goes, I'm just as curious and all about all this stuff as you are.

But I wanna find the truth, because if 99% of these can be debunked, then it makes the 1% that much more interesting. Very true. So I thought this, it's just so great. And his co-host is a fish. I can't explain it all in one video. I just have to share that the Y-files

is a great YouTube channel. You have to go subscribe to this YouTube channel. I actually wrote out. I actually I actually wrote to this guy He isn't responded, but I wrote to him. I just wanted to share as you submit Y Brian the Y-brian file Your favorite myth with a hard dick I just I said from one fantastic creator to another I just wanted to share with one fantastic creator to another, I just wanted to share with you how fantastic I thought you showed.

He probably looked at our show and was like, fucker, these two knuckleheads are doing. These are the kind of people we want to get out of the creation space. They don't do anything. He shared a story the other day that I thought was fascinating. The question was, can a head really survive without a body? So there have been myths throughout time, I say myths, there have been urban legends

about people who get decapitated or lose their head and yet they still respond. Are you still alive after you lose your head, right? Is your head still active? Can you see things? Are you processing things? Are things happening after you get decapitated? It's rather morbid, but it's an interesting experience.

Of course not, without you decapitation anymore and you hope that you don't have to ever go through that. But the truth lies, some were in between, yes or no. There was a French guy back in the 1800s that asked the French government, can I take a head directly after it's cut off? Like it's you're he's the guy's already from the guillotine the guy was already being put to death

So as soon as he gets put to death I want the head and he ran a couple of experiments on that head And he in fact reported back that the he put the head on a table, right? And at first the guys eyes were like you know And the guy then the guy started dancing. Da, da, da, da, da. He started singing, let it go. Let it go. He started singing, frozen.

He said that the guy started blinking, and he scowled his face as if he was angry, and he started to look directly into his eyes. Then his eyes closed again. They opened a second time and looked at him again with an even angrier face, and then a third time this happened. And then he died.

He said this all happened in the course of like three minutes, right? And I'm thinking three fucking minutes to know that your head is off your body. It's an incredible amount of time to be fucked up. I mean, that is horrible to think. Like, I'm not afraid of death. I really am not. But if I get shot in the fucking forehead

and I can still think about it for the next 15 to 20 seconds, that sounds to me like absolute hell. Hell! Am I right? No, I mean, it really does, but I don't know what you can do about it. There's nothing you can do about it. And they say that death is a process, right? It doesn't happen right away. It's nothing you can do about it. And they say the death is a process, right? Doesn't happen right away.

It's got to take a couple minutes. Yeah, and then plus there's like, you know, nerves and neurons and things still going on. Yeah, they're all shut off. You're still firing up there, even though, you know, maybe your body's letting go, right? And so it was kind of a morbid thought, but then he brought up the case of Miracle Mike.

Do you know who Miracle Mike is? No. Okay. Miracle Mike is a chicken. In the 1930s or 40s, or maybe it was, no, 1950s or 60s, excuse me, there was a farmer and he was going to have some dinner. So he went out back, grabbed one of his chickens,

cut off his head, and then he realized that after he cut off its head, the chicken body started running around the pen. Well, that's where the saying comes from, like a chicken with your head calls. Okay, it may even come from this specific chicken, because what this farmer realized after a period of time was that the chicken wasn't doing the normal chicken dance

and then falling over. The chicken was actually walking around and pretending to peck, he was still moving his neck. While Mike, while the farmer had his head, Miracle Mike's head in his hand. The chicken lived for 18 additional months without a fucking head. This is absolutely 100% true.

It's, you can see it, you can go YouTube, you can go to YouTube and you can catch videos of it. The chicken without the head, it just kind of is like the top of it quarterized and the farmer would feed it pellets of corn into its throat hole. I guess is what you're calling it. I'm not even kidding you, Chrissy.

This is not a commercial break, fat news or fiction in 30 seconds. This is fact. I saw it for myself or fiction in 30 seconds. This is fact. I saw it for myself. I watched it happen. I watched the chicken dancing around without its head. And it wasn't like it had just been cut off. This chicken had the whole thing was all weird,

but sutured up. And the chicken was dancing around in circles. It would take the food. It would come up to the farmer and just kinda like, you know, I don't even make any noise because it doesn't have a fucking head. No, how could it even know where to go or how could it? It lived for 18 months. He kept it as a pet, he lived with it, it laid down with him.

It was like the whole thing he went on a road show with it. Like lots of people saw it, no head, 18 months. Okay. Isn't that a kick in the fucking nuts? Yeah. Does that totally fuck your whole entire vision, understanding of how life works? Because it does mine.

Okay. I am, I can't sleep at night anymore, because I'm having a trouble not thinking about miracle mic, walking around my room without a head for like 18 months. It's just horrifying. There was one instance of this. Has anybody else tried to recreate this? We could hear it to commercial break.

I mean, I know a snake can bite without its body. I know a lizard grabs it builds its own tail. I know a frog. Frogs will hop around for minutes or maybe even an hour without their heads on. There are examples of this in nature, right? Yeah, it just keeps me, every time I think about this story, you know who I think about fucking Walt Disney?

And Walt Disney's head cryogenically frozen in Burbank, California for some reason, waiting for somebody to reanimate him. No pun intended pun intended. If you could, if you could, if someone said to you, we're there, we're getting close. We got like 20 years, Chrissy, we got 20 years, and I know you're about to pass away, but we got 20 years until we're of confident.

We can re-animate you and attach you to another body, and your head and everything will be the same, because you're a brain, it's your thing, we just gotta turn you back on, right? We gotta unfreeze you, zap you with a couple of electricity, and then, we just got to turn you back on, right? We got to unfreeze you, zap you with a couple of electricity, and then your neck's gonna look a little fucked up but you can wear a scarf,

and you're gonna walk around with Kate Moss' body, right? Or whatever, who are? Would you, in fact, go for it? I don't know, that's a complicated question. It is a complicated question. We asked the deep complicated questions here at the commercial break, so I thought I'd ask you. Yeah, because you would come back maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, on the one hand, I'm inclined to say, yeah, why not?

Yeah. Sure, that might be an interesting experiment. Yeah. But then do I want to have that life, that next life, with a weird different body and problems? There's got to be some kind of problems. You know, it's not all going to connect to it. Yeah it. You're gonna have like a twitchy arm or something. Yeah, could you still remember your thoughts from before or those on? Great question. Also, in 20 years, there's gonna be a lot.

I mean, think, when did Walt Disney die? 16? No, he died right before they started building Walt Disney World, yeah, 70s, like 72 or 70s. Okay, think about how much has changed. It's almost like going away to prison or something. And you know, I mean, the iPhone for long. Just wake up and everything's all weird.

Yeah, everything's like complete, like the earth. So there'd be a whole learning curve. If you could still learn. Yeah, true. I mean, if you could do anything whatsoever. If you had any function left whatsoever, this is what I would say. I'd be like, I give the decision to Astrid. I'd be like, I give it to, I give the decision to

Astrid. I'd be like, hey Astrid, freeze my head if you want to. Cool. No problem. But don't bring me back unless you're sure that this shit's gonna work out. Like, if it's not gonna work out, if people are showing up and they're like, run their head against a wall and, you know, crashing cars to the side of the 405. Like, if that kind of stuff is happening, you know, it's, it's kind of like that self-driving technology we talked about. It's never gonna be quite perfect. There's always gonna be a circumstance 405 like if that kind of stuff is happening, you know, it's it's kind of like that self-driving technology We talked about it's never gonna be quite perfect. There's always gonna be a circumstance upon which shit doesn't go sideways If people wake up and in and they start tearing their own heads off the body because they just can't take it anymore Yeah, then leave me out of it

But if you get to a point where everything's cool and you need me you need me like there's there like you know I tell the kid bring you back just to do DC What happened? It's me I'm talking to you from my hologram. I mean Venice in the brand new condo only one problem. We're running out of money Oh, so you brought me back cuz you need me. I brought you back to do more I'm gonna do the commercial break. We haven't found a suitable body yet but I'm going to take this can and put you in your head and they were going to take you to the DCB studios. Oh great in the old house. No, it's more like a closet now but it's okay. We're waiting for them to re-animate Chrissy.

They're looking for a Kate Moss like body. I need you to get back up on the horse and ride on him, please. Yes. Mateo says on his sixteenth cooking school around Europe. There is sixteenth wife. It is six. I'm at my fourth husband. You know, that's what I'd say. I'd leave it up to the family.

You guys make the call. If you think it's cool, do it. If you don't think it's family. I'd be like, okay, you guys make the call. If you think it's cool, do it. If you don't think it's cool, don't do it. Just, you know, use your best job. Yeah, I mean, if we're talking like a Han Solo Star Wars thing where you just, you're frozen, but then you're unfrozen and everything's back to normal with you. That's right.

That sounds great. Cool. Yeah. I like that kind of, I like that Mito. Yeah. But if you have to cut my head off and reattach it to a body that's younger and then all that other stuff, I've just reattached me to something that's really sexy. I'll have an old ass face. I like it. 20 year old body. Yeah.

How old are you? Blended? Blended rate? I'm like 36. My head 70, well my dick is 20. No, why probably $3,000 need to. Yeah, that might be a little tricky for your job or license. Yeah. What year were you born? Well, but what year were you reborn? What year were you born? Which part of me?

Yeah, exactly. Because my 10 inch cock is just 22. But this brain, I got some experience up there. I'm 107. That does present a lot of problems. You know that there's mother fuckers out there on earth right now. We don't hear about it because it's being done

behind definitely closed doors. Like, you know, cryogenic 3000 or whatever, you know, cryo 3000, they're doing weird experiments, probably on humans, definitely on animals. Yes. You know, I mean, they, what do they, they clone that sheep without telling anybody that all of a sudden there's two sheep running around

that are exactly the same, they're doing the exact same things at the exact same time. It's really weird to think about that, but there are experiments like this going on, and we just don't know about it. Probably our government is one of the ones who are doing this. Yeah, because they're, you know, there's a worse. That needs right back into the conspiracy theories.

Yeah, now I'm one of those guys. Our galorists. Now I'm perpetuating all the people. They could experiment. Go to Wi-Fi if you want to. I do agree with you. I mean, it's hard not to agree that the US government is not always can be trusted right? They're always being transparent and honest with us.

Go to Wi-Fi else if you want the truth. They'll tell you. I'll visit him. What did he say about this? He didn't answer like if he personally would be reanimated, but he said that the question was, is it possible to live after your head has been removed? And the answer was, yes, there is proof in not recently because we don't do decapitation anymore, but there has, you know, these people who did the guillotine even, like France just

stopped doing the guillotine back in the 40s and 50s. Oh wow. Up until then, the last public execution was back in the 1950s and it got videotaped or recorded with a movie camera. It got recorded against the will of the French government. That movie got out, you can actually see it to this day.

And it was so highly disturbing that they had to stop doing public executions. Yeah. So, you know So I think the bottom line was that the answer is not quite clear, but from most accounts, the head can survive for a small period of time. I think the thought was that even this French guy who did this experiment, three minutes is even a little bit long, right? Now, peep scientists, what he said, will agree that some kind of brain firing can go on after your death for up to hours.

Yeah, because they just said that with the pigs, I feel like a lot of people are out there. Yeah, they did that, yeah. They've been doing it with rats and pigs and stuff like that. But that it is uncommon for that to happen for longer than a couple of minutes. Yes. So I think we can all agree that the last couple minutes of death or the last couple minutes on this earth are gonna suck, but after that you're good.

It's not gonna be months and months like the chicken was, but it's just like that whole fucking thing just blew my mind. When I started googling it, to find out that it was actually real, now I trust the guy from the White Files because he's always telling, you know, he's got always getting to the bottom of it. Yeah. And so he had video of this chicken in his video. And then when I started googling it to find out that it was real that it had happened

that scientists verified it, that it was not some bullshit made up, you know, weird chicken. Carnival, you know, situation. They looked at, you know how the chicken died? It got a kernel stuck in its throat hole. That is weird.

So weird. It's so strange. But the answer for me personally is, listen, only, only do this. If you know that it's that things are. There's a hot solo. Yeah, they're not going to become some fucking Frankenstein or something like this. No. No. Chris, you're speaking of fucked up things to think about. Have you heard of vabbing? Do you know what vabbing is?

Vabbing? Vabbing. Vabbing, V-A-B. Yeah, it's kind of like dabbing, but you heard of vabbin? Do you know what vabbin is? Vabbin? Vabbin, V-A-B? Yeah, it's kind of like dabbing, but it's called vabbin. Okay, no, I like to know. B-B-I-N-G, I think it's what it is. Let me make sure that I got this right. Yeah, vabbin.

Vabbin is a new attraction, a pheromone-related attraction technique that is being talked about a lot on TikTok. It's been going around for years, by the way, it's nothing brand new, but now the TikToks here, we can all find the disgusting trends in a hot minute. Yes. Vabbings is when a woman takes her natural essence and spreads it all over her body with nothing else

to attract men. And many women are saying that this is working. And by natural essence, I can only... I guess I'm just gonna say it. You stick your hand in your vagina and then you rub it all over your body. That's what happens. And there's like a technique to this, right?

You start to masturbate, you get yourself a little excited, and then you take your pharomones and you spread them all over your body. Okay. So this is called vabbing. And I had heard about this months ago, I put it on the list to talk about. Well, I forgot about it. So I've got a question here, is this just like these women are saying they, they're not

telling the guy that they've done this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they're telling the guy, hey, guess what? I have. Pushy, do you solve all of the first pages? That's what I did earlier. I'm sure they would be intrigued.

No, I read some stories. Okay, so I put this on the list a couple of months ago. Then earlier this week, I heard Stern talking about it. And I was like, oh, I hate piggybacking off of other creators and content creators. And obviously, Stern is one of the biggest. So I never liked taking their ideas and using him here on the show,

but this one idea I had read about and when he started talking about it, I had to talk about it before I forgot. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't lost again in the list of things I want to talk about. So the thing is, so then I started reading some stories

and looking at some TikTok videos. What they do is they, you do is they get a vibrator, masturbate for a little while right before they're about to go out and then they stick their hand wherever they stick it, you know, stick their hand in a place where they can collect their essence and then they put it on their neck, on their arms, no other perfume and no other deodorant.

Yes, like it's perfume. And that is the pharaohmones, right? Obviously the sex scent, they do not tell the men, but they go out there in the world and then they informally do their own kind of study right do i think i don't think i and they film it on tiktok that's right because that's where all that's where all the new sciences happening is take time

take time that's a good tiktok is going to be the death of us uh... so this is working and a lot of lot in the estimation of a lot of women. One woman wrote that she vabbed for the first time and while she wasn't the most attractive in her group, she went out with her friends. She was usually the last one to get hit on by a group of single guys, but there were a couple of her friends were the first. But whenever she vabbed, she became the one that got hit on the most. And I was like,

wow, that's anecdotal, but it's interesting. Some lady went to the gym and she spent, she would just kind of float around the guys, right? The giving a few seconds for her essence to find its way into someone's nostril. And she said that without exception, every guy would talk to me. They wouldn't like directly like say, kind of have your phone number right now? I gotta have sex with you. But without exception, they all spoke to her about something. Like, hey, you know, can I help you? Can I spot that for you?

You need a spot, you know, can I help you squat? What happened? There's so many other factors that could go into this. Of course. They're like, what are they wearing? What are they doing other than the vabbin' part? Yeah, I mean it's fracting. If you vabbin' and you put on a see-through shirt

and you got a nice set of boobs, then of course, right? If this vabbin' gave you new found confidence to walk out of the door, I think it, then. Yeah, guys are dumb, they'll hit on anything. They see a nipple, they're gonna go for it. Like, you know what I'm saying? But the anecdotal evidence, and the women who this doesn't work for, they're not saying it out loud, at least I didn't find it.

But the vabbings for a lot of women, and a lure had an article, Vanity Fair has an article, they all have this article on fat. You know what I blame? This fucking Gwyneth Pouchroll, this goddamn Gwyneth Pouchroll's out there, doing all have this article on fat. You know who I blame? This fucking Gwyneth Poundtrol. This goddamn Gwyneth Poundtrol's out there doing all this crazy fucking shit. You got a whole team of writers that are sticking their hands in their assholes and spreading it on their, putting it on their pumpkin pie.

You know, they're doing a bunch of crazy stuff. But it's working. That's the crazy part is that it's all like, these crazy ideas, sometimes they actually do work. And I can understand why this might actually work. Like this, you know, we always talk about the smell, right? Well, in a normal day to day, if you're normal and you're going to walk into your day to day life, you don't smell someone's vagina. That's just not usually what happens.

Although I say we make a great vagina introduction treaty of 2022, where we just walk up and sniff each other's balls of the dogs like dogs they're on to something right but and it's probably not pungent enough to smell you know I you this has been around for ages has it really oh my god well not it's just like a scene for a moment has been passed out some form of it I mean I remember when I was younger too where you can buy like pheromones tough it was the first like, pheromones, tough those mysteries. Oh, the pheromones, yeah, but it's not your pheromones.

That's the problem. They're trying to create those pheromones. Okay. This is like a, like a pension. It's an ancient secret that's passed down from holy to holy. Come here, Chris. Scramma, hold me.

Let me tell you about a secret to kidding the boys that you want. The grandma show you. Hand grandma show you hand me that dude over there. We're gonna fab for a few minutes. Ancient secret. I can see some people at parties we go to like running around a big fire on those songs. Oh yeah. Well, babbing. Bab each other chiller, it's mother moon. Mother's milk. We're gonna collect a jar of it and sacrifice it to the moon spread it all over the men's teepees.

Absolutely, 100%. Hey, you want it? You want it real real? I got that verb. Not that damn. I got that verb. Get you high as fucking shit man. Bono for days Who wants a verb I collected 50 I collected 50 women's vabs And I got it right here. This one job This is so interesting to me. I I think it's Works and if that makes somebody feel confident then to go out because confidence is very attractive Of course confidence is a joke. And if somebody's walking around like, yeah, I got the good stuff.

How do you think I got asterisk? Right. I'm too dumb to know the difference. I just pretend like I'm at it. Confidence, yeah. So that gives you the confidence. And if you're wearing a skimpy outfit and a bunch of guys are attracted to you,

then hey, go for it. If you know how to work with God gave you, you're gonna be just fine. Yeah, I don't think it's, you know, whatever you're attracted to, in my opinion, just be yourself, but be confident about yourself. And that's gonna be attractive to someone else.

Now, if this smell does play a part, I think in every true romance, you gotta have that. That's right with that, yeah. Right, and if you can just kind of cut the mustard and just give them a taste of what's really going on down there, then that's great. I'm gonna start babbing, this is what I'm going to do.

I'm going to rub a towel across my balls and just hit it on my neck a couple times before I go out. I should do that. She's like an invisible experience. Do you know where you go to the Starbucks and see if the guy talks to you? I'm going to call it tabbing. I'm going to get my taints and I'm just going to, yeah, that's right. I'm going to wait at Starbucks and see if that guy holds a door open again

Hey, man, what are you wearing? You thought he smelled good. He may ask you what are you wearing? I'm wearing Oded Taint I'm wearing bright taint 3000 bright taint 3000 pure taint Taint to the x-power Pure Taint concentrate from Brian Green! And this is why the sponsors love us. Yes, absolutely. Disney! Taint 3000! Brought to you by Disney. So yeah, I'm gonna try. It's interesting. It's interesting.

Whatever works. Yeah, go do your own homework about it. Yes. You'll find that there's a lot of women out there that are talking about it. Okay, Chrissy, I have something that I'm so excited to talk about. You know, if we're gonna put my head on a new body, I'm gonna ask one thing and one thing only of that body. That body's gotta be tan. It's gotta be fit and it's gotta be tan.

It does have to be. And by fit, I mean, you know, like my dad body, you know, just a little bit of a gut. And tan. It's gotta be tan. You love the tan. I'm not gonna get on a body that's not tan. I don't wanna like a, you know,

I don't wanna like a tan head and a peek at body. I want it all to match. I want the carpet to match the drapes. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So you all know if you're a commercial break listener of any degree, then you understand that Brian has a little bit of a problem with the tanning bed.

Meaning it's like a magnet for Brian. I can't walk by a tanning bed. I walk again for 10 to 15 minutes. I go to the tanning bed, you know, I don't know, one sometimes twice a month, sometimes twice a week. It just depends on what I'm doing. Yeah, as I was saying. And I'm wondering, you know, as I'm getting into my old age,

you know, the dermatologist and my wife have kind of gotten to me and they're like, hey, listen, don't do this. It's just kind of stupid, Brian, right? What are you doing to the spray? It's spray tan. I'm thinking about it. I'm just a little worried about looking trumpish. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no. It's not like that. It's not like that at all. Okay, I've been told it's not. I'll point you in the right direction on that. I think I'm going to do it over the holidays, get my first spray tan because I can deal with my brothers and my family making fun of me. But if I'm out in the wild and people are like, wow, he's really orange.

No, it's not like that. I don't want to be the color of the commercial break logo. If that's, I'm just sharing it. It's very natural, and you can't even tell. I trust you. I trust you. But, you know, there's many people out there in the world. But one of the reasons why I like tanning also,

especially during the winter, at least once or twice a month, is because it gives you that light therapy. It gives you that light therapy. It really does in my, and I totally 100% believe, and know in my heart that it changes my mood. It gives me a little lift. It just does. But why were you going in August? Well, um, extra light therapy. My skin's already a third degree burn. I figure, I'll just get it there. Keep it going. I'm trying to get that Frankie deck, that Frankie chicken deck. Yeah, that leather neck.

So, there's a lot of people out there who believe that sun is life giving. There are even people in India who claim to do nothing, they stun the sun stares, they stare at the sun. And there are, you know, noted examples of this. People who are alive today who do nothing, that's how they get their food, is by staring at the sun and there are you know noted examples of this people who are alive today who do nothing that's how they get their food is by staring at the sun that's what they say I'm a victory like a bunch of blind people walking around is like a scene

we worship the sun it took our eyeballs We worship the sun. It took our eyeballs. That's so stupid. But I've seen videos of these people that are staring at the sun. There's one guy in India who claims he hasn't eaten anything in 30 years. He's just been staring at the sun to absorb all of the nutrients. Now obviously that I don't think that's true. And I think it's actually been proven false. I think they followed the guy home and found it. A nice, a serloin steak and a shake from Mickey D's was really what was sustaining him. He was pretty skinny though I think it was one of those guys like you know you can see every rib in detail

He had to keep the illusion going so you know Once every three days so There are some people that are certainly take this to the extreme. Oh yeah. There's a whole new group of people out there. This was started by some young man in California, of course. Yeah. And they have started tanning their taints. It's taint tanning. It's going on. And the butthole. I know. You've seen if you have Instagram or TikTok, you've seen the butthole. I saw when guy doing it. It's a Pima park. You did? Yeah naked naked, but he was doing it. He had his legs spread open and he was doing it.

It's all the rage. It's hot on TikTok. It's kind of hot on Instagram, but a lot of people are talking about it. So without further ado, Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet. Oh, as you do. As I do like to do, and I actually found a video of two guys, and one of them claims to have started this trend. Hey everyone, it's time for the commercial break inside the commercial break. Did you know you can dial one 855-TCB-8383? That's one 855-TCB-8383 from anywhere in the world. toll free, text us, call us, leave us a voice mail, it's not spam, we will respond, and we want to hear from you. questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, you want to ask tcb for our advice?

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over and we need to start thinking about the gifts we're going to give each other and ourselves. And at LuluLemon.com, they have everybody covered. I just got some license to train jogger pants. And they are the most comfortable, the most cozy, the softest pants I have ever put on. That's no joke. There's a reason why millions of people across this country and the world have fallen in love with Luluululemon and at Lululemon.com Whether you're male or female or identifying some other way you are going to find your style

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Get yourself a pair of Lululemon pants. You're going gonna love it. Oh, you got the founder here? You got the founders, rather young guy, actually. And I don't think, I don't even- He's like, watch this. Yeah, watch this. Let me see what I can get people to do.

I know. I think this is like parody a little bit. I don't know, you tell me. But the channel- Let's see if we can start a movement. Yeah, this start a movement of assholes ass assholes sunburns The people at the aloe company are like a sales are up for a thousand percent in the middle of winter Wasn't there a thing with like bleaching your asshole to people still bleach their ass

Yeah, you got a tannet before you bleach it before you tang not really sure how it goes if you bleach it You get more sun-absorbed because, you know, sun is attracted to white or whatever, how that goes. Okay, so disproving the paradigm that all households are built the same. Let's, some are built in just sunlight. Without further ado, I present to you

two guys who are really into butthole tanning. Okay. Hey guys, Troy Casey, certified health not here in Santa Monica, California With my man raw of earth. What up everyone? I love the name buddy Yeah, I got a bunch of friends like this like you know, they're Tom the stockbroker, but then they get out in the woods and they're you know like Yeah, I'm Ben the wolf, the wolf healer. That's your top, the stock broker.

No, man, that's my view. That's my, that's my, that's my earthly name. My spiritual name is Ben the wolf healer. Okay, Ben the wolf healer. This is the guy who started the hashtag, but whole sunning. And we're here to tell you guys all the information that you need to optimize your buttholeSunding because Please, I want to optimize it. I need a step by step.

Yeah, there's not just you go outside in Tannin. No, no, no, Chrissy, you got to optimize your asshole. That's it. I always say first and foremost, make sure it's safe, shaved down clean. Apparently, there's a lot. It's hard to get that sun through all that hair. You know what I'm saying? That's what I do with my head. That's why my head is constantly a fourth degree burn. I've been a bunch of journalists out there,

fake news journalists creating clickbait, not interviewing us, not doing it for themselves, and then commenting on their opinion of butthole-sunting. So, Ra, you started this. Those journalists commenting on our butthole-tanic. You didn't start a hashtag called, you know, Sun Your Butth or whatever it is, Sun Your Ass, and then not expect that people were gonna comment. Come on.

If you got, by the way, if you guys wanna come on the commercial break, we do very few interviews, but I will take a drop of earth and the sun butt guy all day long. So tell the people of the technology behind it, fill in the holes a little bit. No pun intended, fill in the holes a little bit. Describe the technology.

And that guy just went, boop. Yeah, he just took his finger and made a noise. And by the way, what technology is behind sun tanning your asshole? So people can answer the sun and your asshole. That's those two things you need. There's no technology in between. You're standing better.

Get outside naked and shine your ass to the sun. There's lots of melanin in your anus and That melanin is connected to your nervous system So get the light into the melanin in your eyes your hair your skin your anus your nuts acuporinium And then your golden literally Everywhere I'm convinced it's time to go as son our assholes What the fuck did that child just say? I don't know how does Melanon have anything to do with the nerves in your ass. Yeah. No ordinances on your whole body

Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, I mean maybe my nut sack maybe my nut sack, okay, it may make you just laugh at yourself Which laughter is it girls me? Yeah, it's laughter. It's a girl to me. Yeah, I was gonna come by your mom's place to drop a stack of cash in front of it, but I'm I'm over here with my legs behind my ears Sun in my asshole Stinky procedure, but you know once your assholes start sweating. It's hard to keep the smell contained. I don't think my neighbors love that. What? Oh my god. What are we talking about? What is the commercial break on about now? By the way, my dog just came in here what happened? What the all-elges broke loose.

I know. And there was blue. All-elges broke loose. She's down below my feet. Are you make one fucking noise in this episode's over? It's swear to God. Turn the electricity on, because let's face it, the sun is the source of all life on the planet.

And for all you clickbait journalists out there and Josh Brolin, you knucklehead, the fact of the matter, Josh Brolin, whatever it is. Oh, I think I remember, he did some Instagram, yeah, he made fun of him, he made fun of him. Come on, Josh is a man's man, he's not gonna be sonnet his asshole

out in the middle of Arizona, wherever the fuck he lives. You think that guy, I got barely talks, you think he's gonna be sonnet his asshole and talking about it, come on guys. We're not talking about burning your skin. We're talking about 30 seconds to five minutes. Five minutes.

He just shrugged too. He's like, yeah, I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I'm just telling you the sun, your asshole. I'm just the guy trying to give you a raspberry. I mean, five minutes out in the summer sun will give you a sunburn for sure, especially if you've never taned that part of your body.

That's right. You know, one time when I went to the tanning bed and I was wearing my running shorts, and the running shorts are kind of like a bathing suit. They got like an inside thing that kind of holds everything in it, right? And I realized, I don't have any underwear on, and I tan with underwear,

because I'm not a dumb dumb. I'm not gonna fucking burn my cock. so but then that one time I was like okay I'll just go without it and I'll hold I'll hold my Pachankank, right? I'll hold my petita taudder. Well, guess what? My ass cheeks were so fucking burnt I couldn't sit on them for the next three days. I can only imagine what happens when I Sick my ass in the air a place that's never seen sun in the 40 some odd years I bet on this art. Some of them.

That's if you feel the energy at all. Otherwise just take 30 seconds and you tell us what you feel. You tell us what you feel. Do you feel the handcuffs behind your back? And bra, if you feel handcuffs behind your back, you've not been to uni, right? Bra. California, you could literally sun your ass

all anywhere you want. I've been on road day-to-day drive, sun in my ass. Three days a week. Did it the fear mongering? What are they hiring medical doctors? No, they're guessing. The medical doctors are talking about skin cancer. They're guessing and you, the guy who made up the ash-egg shine your ass or son your butt or whatever.

You're the one with the expertise. Like this, has bizarre bum-sunning ritual. Increases risk of skin cancer on your vulva. Geez. Yeah. And all the dangers of this and the, what do they say? It's not going to improve your health. Well, the fact of the matter is just go outside,

get naked and see how you feel. OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. We got to stop right here. The fact of the matter is, is not a response to you can get cancer from sending your asshole. The fact of the matter is just go outside and do it and see how you feel is not, that's no retort to what they're saying, dude.

You're just like, they're not the experts because they have medical degrees, but you're the expert because your name is raw of some of her. Yeah, raw of the earth. This is why we have problems in this country, Chrissy, is because we know a lot of these people, all of a sudden, raw of earth, and that was better is because we know a lot of these people all the sudden,

raw birth, and that was better than, you know, the top doctor in the world or whatever. That's right. Getting all the feedback. People are getting boners. People are turning happy, immediately, simple. It's simple. S-son-3000, S-son-a-can, S-son-a-can. Oh, that's wonderful. I mean, are you going out and doing this with a bunch of their naked girls? That could be a bonus

A bonus and then people are getting happy. Well, I'd be laughing my ass off at myself. That's right Listen, my neighbor starts sunning his asshole with a boner and we got big problems If I take my son to the park for a day on the playground and I see some shit head, sonning his asshole with a big heart on, we got issues. This is not convincing me that this is any better. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get one of, you know,

you're gonna get like a home sun lamp and hang it on the back of your door and you know, it's kind of like the, like really old school version of sun tanning. I'm going to get one and I'm just going to start bending over in front of it for five to 10 minutes at a time. And who doesn't want to be happy? Who doesn't want a good boner?

Who doesn't want to turn on the... Who doesn't want a good boner? I could think of a couple of people. Probably don't want a good boner. Life force energy inside the human body. I personally am a sun worshipper. That's why one of my best friends, name is Ra. Go look that up.

There is nothing more good than that up, bro. Google that, bro. Sounds like, I don't know. He's a surfer, dude, but he's like a... He's a butthole surfer. He's a butthole sur. He's like a tough guy server. Go to the net up. Say but go outside and get naked. Period. Like this is our most natural environment. Your birthright. This stuff, you know, this is all attached to story.

Birthright to some of your asshole. Why are we not sticking babies out there? It's spread, you know, spread eagles, seven-year-olds, bummeds. When you take off all of your clothes, you're gonna be like, oh, I work really hard to make the green piece of the paper to buy this. All of that story's gone, society's gone.

It's just you and the world. I think they're gonna get naked. Okay, I see them taking off their stuff. Yeah, why not? I mean, if this is a, if we're teaching people out of sonar buttolls, we might as well show them step by step. This is how you get out, step by step. Yeah, I've heard this before,

like your stories are atat, your clothes are attached to stories and once you let the stories go, I get it, I get it, I understand, like earthly things and you know, all that good stuff and keep centered and possessions. However, I don't believe that sunning your butthole on naked is freeing you from any particular story. I just don't, I'm not convinced. I'm in Steve, I mean Adam and Eve, right?

And they had a little leaf. What was the leaf about? The leaf was about... Well holy shit, I'm gonna shut my mouth here because the 58 year old man that is leading this video going You want to bro? Google that shit bra has a better body than half the man on earth Yeah, he does hiding their own emotions, right get out in the sun Get naked

It's good for the soul. We're gonna show you guys here how it's done Dude he's got a big victory. That guy's like that's a definition of victory Is that car? I'll drop in my shrouds for the Lord Carl has now changed Well, I thought I was close to the Lord look at that If I follow that happy trail all the way to Christ that if I follow that happy trail all the way to Christ turn a straight man straighter you know I'm saying Chrissy turn a straight man into a preacher one of those creepy preachers is touching a little boys you know I think this

might be the next iteration of Carl you know he was disgraced from the church and now he's gone to worship the son. What's up, bro? I'm here to show you my hairy chest. It's more manly than anything you'll ever see. And I have to agree. I have to agree. This is, uh, that's impressive. It's impressive to have a body like that.

Look at the friend. The friend's checking about this. The friend's totally looking at him. He's like, him. I don't think I'm gonna take my shirt off You guys sure you guys want to do this right here? Yeah, we're out in public. Yeah Like there's a kid swing swing. Don't worry about the cops man. Oh my god. Okay, so what you're not seeing is the two of them, the two guys, a younger guy and the

older guy, the older guy being the guy who's talking. Yeah, he's like, what up, the other guy started the hashtag. They are now spread eagle on some, you know, I don't know where they are. They're in some park somewhere. They said there's a children's swing. There's a children's swing right there. Best place to send your ass hole right in front of the kids. Show the kids there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Nobody! Don't get arrested! They're spreading it, but they're in underwear just to be clear about it. Don't burn your anus. Don't be a Josh Brolin' idiot. Because the fact of the matter is, guys, you want to know about skin cancer? Are you dermatologist and medical doctors out there? Who are you talking about? Oh, you dermatologist with 13 years of education.

Quote all, quote. Actually, studying what we're talking about. Hey, look, come on, come down there. It looks like we're still sleeping on my feet. Oh, you doctors out there with all your degrees. I know better, I've been studying my asshole for about 15 years. And cancer, the fact of the matter is,

here's how the sun breaks down, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, Ra. This is how the skin cancer happens, right? You got fat soluble toxins that's all in your junk food and your TV dinners and microwaved, and you've got fat soluble toxins that store in the fat. The epidermis is mostly fat. You stay inside 50 weeks out of the year,

then you go on vacation to a tropical island. You burn the shit out of yourself. You have sunglasses which shuts off your hormones, they release natural immunity. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I'm gonna have a thrull. Yeah, I'm in thrulled. I would be in thrull too.

I think that's because of their bodies. Yeah, so if I was attracted to men, I'd also be enthralled right now. But I gotta admit. These guys have some, they some pretty hot actually. Well, cut off the head. Cut off that creepy mustache that young guy has whatever's going on there. Looks like a walrus. Looks like a walrus. Look at him there. All the whiskers. That doesn't even, that's not even real.

Chemicals inside your body to protect you against the sun. So you're all fucked up like pasta primavera And the fact of the matter is that like pasta primavera I've ever heard that before and why is pasta primavera fucked up well because he doesn't eat he doesn't eat pasta primavera Obviously You burn your skin. That's what's gonna create skin cancer. Tell them about the sunglasses Ross sunglasses We're developing tell them about our sunglasses. Ross sunglasses were developed. Tell them about our sunglasses we're selling for 1995 plus 1995 shipping and handling. They're for your anus. They're ass glasses. Tell them about our ass glasses.

Oh, fire Hollywood elite for the popping lights, okay? And then all of us normal people started mimicking the celebrities. Before the 1900s, okay? And then all of us normal people started mimicking the celebrities. Before the 1900s, no one wore sunglasses. Before the 1920s, no one wore sunglasses. Take those things off. That's huge. Yeah, dude. And umbrellas.

And umbrellas, have you ever seen a picture of someone from the 1820s? They literally are translucent. They were allergic to the sun. Have you ever seen an M like Shyamalan movie? Come on guys get it together. I'm night Shyamalan Malama. You guys want muscles? You want six pack abs? Get the sun on your body. You want your muscles to pop out? Get your sun on your body. Get the sun. It's all it takes. Just Listen, I'm on the right path the whole time I've been on the right path now I just got to stop eating pasta primavera and I'm good. I'm good on your body if you want muscles. Look at this guy Elite CrossFit champion hockey player. The sunglasses also make he has that body then not because he's got that body himself

By the way, where did the guys hair go? There's no hair on that person's body. Yeah, I'm always so jealous of these guys Who are literally grown-ass men with zero hair on their body. What happened? I have been like this. I have been like the old grandpa next door with that hair all over his body, which you know, it has its own hood. I like hair.

All right, I've been like that since the third grade. I hate my body. Hair. Your body think it's nighttime, and then it's not gonna protect itself, okay? So your body's registering light from your eyes into your pituitary hypothalamus pineal gland. Hornones, you're blocking that,

your body's not gonna- Hornones! He's so heft up. Okay, guys. He's very, very heft up. I use this guy speaking. Horn, that's a damn job. And this guy's speaking, more notes. It is shelt. Last son.

Tell him about the glasses. This guy runs rings around guys that are younger than him. He's one of those guys. It's like kinetic energy 24 hours a day. He probably doesn't have a wife. He's also going to be one of these guys like the COVID deniers that Yes. That, you know, we hear a year from now. He passed. Yeah.

From Sunath, from Asun. From the answer. Yeah, he got Ascancer. At least it's natural skin protectant. Chemical messengers, okay. So you guys want to play stupid out there on the internet? Oh, you little fake news journalist, right? You need to go back to school.

If you really want to know what's going on with butthole Sonning come out to California and interview the master Himself Come on to California and stare into my ass If my ass says it's good I'll interview you all do an interview with you You've got to pass the eye of raw first If my eye mean the winky brown eye If it blinks twice you're good to go

What are these two fucking decolens talking about? Hey get off the couch potato Rip the 50 Check out his book Well, you know, Chrissy there's different strokes for different folks and I Can't even explain what we just watched We should get him to the wide We should get him to do the wide bar three thousand commercials. Get your dick hard!

Sun your ass you have a boner twenty bars a day! Okey-dokey, so about fifty. That's right. Basta primavera! Oh man. We just have too much fun. It's just too much fun here at the commercial. I mean I'm like crying. I'm laughing so hard. That's when you know it's a good episode. When Chrissy and I, at least it's a good episode for us. We'll see how it works out for you. Oh, man, I just, I love when we find these oddities

on the internet and they're just so good. It's like it's such chunky material. Yeah, that was a gem. And by the way, you guys are wonderful. I have nothing against you. Besides your dislike of anything scientific. I don't have anything against you. Go ahead, sun your butts all you want.

Just don't do it. Where my sun can see it or my daughter can see it. That's all I ask. Stay away from the playgrounds. At least. All right, well. I don't need beach. Yeah, that's right.

What a week. Another one in the books. Oh, a week, yes. Another one in the books here at the commercial break. And yeah, I'll do some dabbing or some. Babbing. I'll do some babbing. Some babbing. I'll do some ball dabbing over the weekend.

And I'll let you know how it goes. Okay. I'm going to run around town with the musk of my taint all over. And we'll see if I can get some women to hit on it. Or some men. Astrid's going to love this. Yeah. Another reason for Astrid to love the commercial break.

Hey, but I do want to say a big thanks to our two editors and producers. We've got Morgan on the video side. We've got Christina on the audio side. They've been doing such a wonderful job. And we want you to know that they're a big part of the show. So we just say thank you at the end of it. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to see Morgan's work. She's like a third member here in the studio.

You're listening to Christina's work right now. So there you go. And we want to thank Tina, Big Will the Champ, Mary Ann, who's just an incredible fan of the commercial break and always looking for a sending us content ideas and saying nice words. These are big super fans here. Big, big super fans.

Thanks. Charlene, I know you're out there too. Thanks to everybody who's been listening and writing in. Please write in. We'd love to hear from you. Keep it coming, tcbpodcast.com. Go to the contact us button. Fill out the form.

We will respond. Us. One of us will respond. Somebody in the commercial break circle will respond. Us. One of us will respond. Somebody in the commercial break circle will respond. It's usually Chrissy or I. And a 55 TCBA 383, a 55 TCBA 383 text or call from anywhere around the world. Leave a voicemail and not a spam text message line. We will respond. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all we can do. I think so, Brian. But I love you. I love you.

And best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say. Bye! I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a seaI'm a seaI'm a sea I'm a sea you