The Commercial Break - That Water...It's Wet!

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

There is a man who has been having "relations" with Real Sex Dolls and filming for review purposes. However, even TCB finds it too racy to discuss in detail. A TikTok influencer loses her pocket rocke...t adult toy inside her "cavity" and has to have surgery to remove it. The good news...it is returned to her in working condition! Bryan recalls a few early listeners of TCB comparing the show to Morning Zoo Crew radio show. Finally, the phone line is littered with text messages requesting certain show topics. Bryan picks one from a long time fan who wants Huckleberry and The Mountain Monsters to to be reviewed. TCB obliges! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode of the commercial break, you want to hear these blue pills? They're Viagra, I got some. And I'm like, what the fuck would I need a Viagra? And he's like, listen, it's awesome. You take them, like, I know you're not, you know, supposed to be for old men, but you take them, you'll be fucking rock hard, dude. You'll have the best sex of your life. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'll pass, you know, I'm 20.
Starting point is 00:00:26 What do I need a biographer? I'm rock hard right now. Power 96! This weekend, Power 96 is at the oil change express! Cup party with us at oil change express from 5am to 8am! Get $10 off your oil change and come meet me. Brian, rock and rotty. Down at oil express.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Rock and rotty. Jesus. He's saying grandpa and mom help me do this. What exactly are you doing? I don't know. He's sitting under apa? The cold. Huckleberry, it's your grandpa, Huckuck Senior. From the other side. What in the fuck are you doing?
Starting point is 00:01:17 The next episode of the commercial break starts now. break starts now yeah yeah yeah this is my dear friend christian joy only best to you christy best to you out there in the podcast universe how the hell are you thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this zalcommercial break the only one you'll ever need guaranteed fact news and fiction in 15 minutes or less are your money back.
Starting point is 00:01:45 I said it with a smile and said it with a smile says the slick snake you like salesman. You have a vibrator at home. No reason to do it. Let's just dig right in. That's not start with that. Okay, I'm gonna assume you do. Like I'm sure almost every, not every,
Starting point is 00:02:11 but I'm sure a lot of women have one. I don't have one of those, you know, you can have the, they affectionately refer to them as pocket pussies, but here on the commercial break we call them pocket pudendas. We have a pocket pudenda like the... I forget what they call it, but there's a real famous one, the fleshlight. It's like a flashlight, but instead of a light on the end of it, it's got a vagina-looking thing.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Apparently you do the whole nine yards. You never tried one. I've seen them at the novelty shop. You don't know one. Why would you need one? I don't know how to that work. I used to go stick the other end in and then you be Sizzling But I've seen them at the I was definitely stores sure they get the little ones and the big ones and I got everything you need right all the way up to real life full-sized
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah, the electronic dolls. Now those dolls have UI or AI in them, and they talk back to you, and they can like, you know, make either a mouth circular. I'm at a whole article with this guy, I guess you tried one, and he said it was like talking to himself. Because they say whatever they,
Starting point is 00:03:22 they think you want you to say, whatever, you know. So I thought about going over, I know who you to say whatever. So I thought about going over, I know who you're talking about, and I thought about going. Is it with the same article? Yeah, hold on one second, I know his name too. He's very famous online, well he's famous to some people online.
Starting point is 00:03:37 He's called, I forget his, shit, I wish I had his name here. But anyway, he's a guy who has sex with all of the real dolls. Okay. And he's very famous for this. And he puts all of it up online. Like he has sex with the real dolls.
Starting point is 00:03:54 And then he puts it online like porn. But he says it's for research. That he's having sex for research. And he's very famous for this. He does all of the reviews about all of the dolls and the configurations and all this. I have watched probably 38 seconds total of his videos and they are highly disturbing. Not that it's disturbing to watch him have sex with a real doll, it's disturbing to watch
Starting point is 00:04:16 him have sex with a real doll. No offense. It's specifically. Yeah, no offense, but it's just not the guy that's, you know, if it was like Brad Pitt or, you know, I don't know. Anybody else. It's just, it looks like me having sex with somebody. He's not, no one's paying for that, right?
Starting point is 00:04:34 And the good news is he doesn't make you pay for it. It's free. It's all right there on his website. But anyway, the reason why I ask is because, you know, there's vibrators of all the kinds and sizes and they go in all different kind of holes. And for man, women and everything else in between. One TikTok star recently went on her TikTok to share, she's like a social media influencer, to share that she got an anal vibrator lost in her anal cavity, went up there and it
Starting point is 00:04:59 didn't come out. Yeah. She got stuck literally. So she was playing with it and then it went in and it would come out. So she tells the story, I read this, I said this was so funny. She tells the story that, you know, she wanted to go to the hospital but it was late at night and she just really wanted to like get some sleep before she knew she was going to have to go through a bunch of drama.
Starting point is 00:05:21 So she decided just to chill out and I'll just take a nap and then I'll do it. I'll go to the hospital in the morning, go to the doctor's office in the morning. Okay. But the thing had new batteries in it and so it kept vibrating throughout the night. Oh no. And so you can imagine having something stuck vibrating
Starting point is 00:05:35 in your ass for hours on end. I mean, that would, to me, would be the worst. I did it if you sick, right? And so she went there and then the doctor tried to retrieve it by, retrieve it by. It was gone too far. Sticking tongs in there or something. Okay, it had gone too far. It wasn't that it was just stuck and wouldn't unplug. No, it was in there. It was all the way in her anal cavity. Yeah, it was gone. Like,
Starting point is 00:05:57 you, you know, you, well, that's going into the colon then. Yeah, yes. So I don't, I don't know how the body works. I don't have all the fancy terms like you do, hopefully. I just call it the cavity, the black hole. That's black hole. Yeah, you're brown eye. Whatever you want to call it. It's gone. It's see a later and it went up.
Starting point is 00:06:17 It went up and it didn't come out. So she goes to the hospital and they try and, you know, retrieve it. I don't know how they do that. Tongues, a spoon, scissors, fork, I'm not sure what they do. I'm not sure how they do that. But they tried to retrieve it and they try and you know retrieve it. I don't know how they do that. Tongues, a spoon, scissors fork. I'm not sure how they do that. But they tried to retrieve it and they said, sorry bad news. We can't retrieve it like this. We're going to have to go and via surgery. Oh my God. So they had a surgery. And when she woke up from the surgery,
Starting point is 00:06:36 the vibrator was sitting next to her in a bag, like in a plastic bag, they gave it back to her. And she said to her surprise, it still works. Oh, yeah. Afterwards, yeah, she was able to turn it on and use it. I guess, I mean, it's the most expensive vibrator you've ever bought. But I just thought it was so funny that she would like, it's kind of, it's so funny and kind of cute that she would just go on on social media and tell everybody about that. I guess. Yeah. I'd be so embarrassed. I think that time we dropped my friend off at the hospital. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:08 We literally rolled him out of the car while he had a boner for eight hours. Everyone is so fucking eye for those of you that don't know the story. I'll tell, I'll just recap real quick. Yeah, give a recap. We were at a friend's house. This is one, this is many, many years ago and I was everyone was. Back in your hay day. Back in your hay day.
Starting point is 00:07:22 And by hay day, I mean anything that came in front of me, I did. It was Sodom and fucking Camaro, right? Back in your hay day. Back in your hay day. And by hay day, I mean anything that came in front of me, I did. It was Sodom and fucking Camaro, right? And so we were out of friend's house and everybody was doing a lot of cocaine. It's basically what was, cocaine and smoking a lot of weed. What was going on. And my friend called me into this,
Starting point is 00:07:36 he was at the party was at his apartment and he called me into his room. And he said, hey man, I got it. You want any of these blue pills? This is when Viagra had just come it. You want any of these blue pills? This is when Viagra had just come out. You want any of these blue pills? They're Viagra. I got some. And I'm like, what the fuck what I need a Viagra? And he's like, listen, it's awesome.
Starting point is 00:07:53 You take them, I know you're not, you know, it's supposed to be for old men, but you take them, you'll be fucking rock hard, dude. You'll have the best sex of your life. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'll pass. I'm 20. What do I need a Viagra for? I'm rock hard right now. You and me tokens got me hard. I'm like, yeah, I think I'll pass, you know, I'm 20. What do I need a biographer? I'm rock hard right now. You and me talk, it's got me hard.
Starting point is 00:08:07 I'm hard, everyone. You know, I'm just a young man. I don't need that. And he was older than me. He was like in his late 30s. Okay. And so is the old drug guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:17 He probably won't drink. Oh, yeah, he gets red. He gets older and he stays the same age. That was that guy, right? Okay. And he was. And he was cool. He was threatening that way. He getting older, he stayed the same age. That was that guy, right? Okay. And he was, that he was cool. Right, we got him. He was cool.
Starting point is 00:08:29 He was cool. He was a lot older than everybody else. Well, he's stolen out all the Narcophurty favors. He's the coolest guy in the room, right? And man, those girls, everybody loved this guy. He was just awesome. And you know, he would go to the strip clubs and he would bring home 30 strippers
Starting point is 00:08:43 and they'd all be at the house hanging out. It was a wild wild death. And so as the night wore on, I, even though I was myself drinking and smoking or whatever, I was getting increasingly twisted. Yeah. I noticed that this guy, we'll call him D. D just kept on, he was less and less available in the room.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I noticed that he was gone. And he had a dancer that was at the time like his, his fling, right, this girl. Okay, yeah. And she was out with us. And I just noticed he was gone. He's like, he didn't come back. He left one time, he left to go do something in his room,
Starting point is 00:09:17 which was not unusual for him. Right, high on cocaine, right? A guy high on cocaine goes back to his room a lot. To either get away from the paranoia or do more cocaine or both. Usually, right? If he comes increasingly solitary, he just like restrainks back into the room. And I noticed in at one point, he calls me into the room. He's like, like, come back there. And he's like sitting on his bed with a towel and his pants and he's fully dressed, but it's like a towel on his lap.
Starting point is 00:09:46 And he's like, dude, I think I got a problem. We're talking like this is like six or seven hours after. He had asked you if he wanted to ask those pills. At the very beginning of the night, and now we're talking like three in the morning, right? Yeah. And I was like, what's going on? And he's like, dude, I got a boner and it's not going away.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And I'm like, oh, well, whatever, just like to go, you know, see if, what's her name? You know, see, go get an anomeris, get anomeris or go, you know, see if, what's our name, you know, see, go get anamorous, get anamorous or whatever, you know, have some sex, it'll go away. We know, listen, we know how shit works, go, you know, relieve yourself, or find somebody to relieve yourself with if they're available and open to it.
Starting point is 00:10:17 He says, I did, I did, it just won't go away. And I'm like, oh, it's really starting to art. And I'm like, oh, okay, I don't know what to tell you, you know, what do we do? Yeah, what do we do? I came to the point, there's so starting to art. And I'm like, oh, okay, I don't know what to tell you. You know, what do we do? Yeah, what do we do? I came to the point, there's so much back and forth. You drive? Exactly what happened.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Finally, I was like, after an hour of getting increasingly concerned about what was going on, he convinced me that I needed to be concerned about his boner. Okay. I went out, I got one of the guys at the cars. It was like a relatively sober guys. We gotta go to the hospital. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:10:50 Is somebody having a heart attack? Is somebody dying cocaine over note? You know, nope. We got a boner emergency. And everyone is like a boner emergency. Now I had to let the cat out of the bag because now we have to take somebody to the hospital. You can't do that on the quiet.
Starting point is 00:11:03 No you can't. First when you're all fucked up. Everything's so dramatic anyway. It's like, now everybody knows. So it becomes a mission. We all get in the car. It's like five of us facts in this little Toyota whenever. Deans in the back and he's like,
Starting point is 00:11:17 I'm certain guys, it's hard. If we drive up to the hospital emergency room and we literally push him out of the car and we take off. There you go. Go look on your motor. And the story is still going. Story. We don't know what happened to you.
Starting point is 00:11:34 We never got him. He still has the motor to this day. That's one of the things on the commercial. And it's a propriacy. It's called propriacy. It's a real thing and it really does happen. Yeah. And it's dangerous because it's like a third of your blood or whatever is just hanging
Starting point is 00:11:47 out, depending on how big your dick is. Some portion of it, for me, it's like, you know, it's 126th of my blood is hanging out. But regardless, it's a dangerous condition and it's painful. He was really in a lot of pain when we finally got to the hospital. He was ready to tell whoever that he needed some relief. And I guess, I don't know, but I have heard since, and I don't even remember what the conclusion of the story was that we saw him again, he was fine, everything was okay. I don't remember what the treatment was,
Starting point is 00:12:14 but I have heard that they can like inject your penis with something to like, you know, close the blood vessels and make it go away. Wow. And no one wants that. No. No one wants it. The old porn stars used to inject themselves
Starting point is 00:12:26 with like a viagra like material right in her. I have heard that. Jimmy Jackson. Right there. Yeah. And that, that, my friend. You're going hardcore there. That's flat out in my mind.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah, that's hardcore. And you're injecting yourself to get hard. I mean, I guess you do in that case. It's like you're, it's a performance based. Yeah. Thank you. You got to perform. If you don't perform, you don't get hard. I mean, I guess you do in that case. It's a performance based thing. You gotta perform. If you don't perform, you don't get paid. The movie doesn't get there. Everyone's wasting their time.
Starting point is 00:12:52 And this is the one place. Porn is the one place where there is absolutely non-parity between the discrepancy between women pay and men pay is 100% in the favor of women. Wouldn't you fucking go figure? The women get paid like 30 times more than the guys. Guys get paid like $100 to bust a nut and the girls get paid thousands and thousands of dollars.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Right, you're right, that is the one point. Yeah, but good for them. Good for them. You know, because first of all, sex work is good work. Yeah. First of all, second of all, it's hard work. Yeah. No pun of all second of all It's hard work. Yeah, no pun intended. Sorry D It's hard work and Third of all absolutely
Starting point is 00:13:32 No one's watching porn for the guy with the rock hard dick half the time that even show his face It's just like you know You know what I've read too is a trick of the trade is because no one pays attention to the penis in these like you know straight porn No one pays attention to the penis in a straight porn, no one pays attention to the penis. A lot of times it's like two or three different penises that they're using. Yeah. And that's the trick.
Starting point is 00:13:50 So the trick. Yeah, the girls getting the shit into that stick. So that's all I gotta say, it's a good for her getting paid all that much more. That's all I have to say. Speaking of creepy cocks, I wanted to, Chrissy and I, as you are watching this, are away on a little break.
Starting point is 00:14:04 So we're not doing the most, you know, you're watching this and we've recorded it a little bit ahead of time. And I thought because it's our little first summer break that we give people fresh content, but that we do something that the people really want. We take requests, essentially. Let's never request. We're in our radio station. We talk like we're radio stars and now it's...
Starting point is 00:14:21 We're on the air now. We're live. I know. Somebody said to me, a lot of people have said to me You're just like a radio morning show. Yeah, and first I took that as a high compliment And now I'm like what the fuck were we thinking? We should have done this differently most podcasts or start their podcasts like this. Hey everybody. It's Brian and Chrissy We're here and we're like baby
Starting point is 00:15:09 Most podcasters shut off like this. Welcome to the Jan and Brian show, and today we'll be talking to Barack Obama about his presidency, and we'll be having conversations about Russian Ukraine war. So, tune in and there you go. Thanks for joining us on The Commercial Break. At this episode, it's brought to you by something much more serious than the sponsors on the commercial. It's crazy that we're screaming in your ear. We're sorry. That's just the way we are. Listen, it's not disingenuous. It's the way that we are. It's the way we like the show. It's the way we've always been. We just have a show now.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Well, go a bit. Yeah, that's true. We've always been loud and obnoxious. Now we just get to bother you with it. Rather than getting kicked out of a bar, we're here in this studio where no one can kick us out. But go back to the first couple of episodes. It is considerably more toned down. Yeah, considerably more toned down. They're still funny, but it's not like.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Well, we're just gonna our legs. We're gonna our sea legs. We're growing into the morning. So we're crew that we are now. This is the crew. We were growing into bubble the love sponge in the morning. And here we are. Thank you very much. So I thought I'd give them what they want.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Take a listener request. Okay, I like it. And one of the requests that we got, one of the requests that we actually get, there's a lot of comments, a lot of reviews about it, is the Ghost Hunter Monster, the Ghost Hunters and Mountain Monsters. Mountain Monsters we've covered a lot more of, we've got, we'll have fun here. Oh, there's Funnier.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Much Funnier, much funnier. They're hilarious. Yeah, the Ghost Hunters are kind of sad. The Mountain Monsters are funny. Those guys, I like them, they're funny. The other guys, there's like a hundred thousand of them and they're not, sometimes we can make it funny, but sometimes it's just kind of a downer.
Starting point is 00:16:52 It's like small children falling out of wind. They're like twin babies dying. It's not really all that funny, if you think about it. Murder. I think somebody may point that out at some point. Like, hey, what do you guys make it fun at Dead Children's Fort? We're not! It's not real, point. Like, hey, what are you guys making fun of dead children? We're not!
Starting point is 00:17:06 It's not real. None of it's real. What are you talking about? So I thought I would dig deep into the archives, and I would pull out a mountain monster. So congratulations. We spun the heel. Huckleberry, Bob. Huckleberry is front and center.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Huckleberry the third. Huckle. Huckleberry the third. All right. Huckle. Huckleberry number seven. All right, so here we go. I'm gonna turn on the old TCB full reaction shot. Will it work? Yes it does. That means we're not to stop the show and edit it.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Grant, Grant, hall call. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Oh, that's too funny. I'm gonna get like, I'm gonna find one of those morning zoo crews. Yes, yes. Or remember every single like Disjockey at six o'clock or five o'clock on Friday. Oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Workin' for the weekend. I'm gonna follow me, no, no, no, and I'm so good, we made it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Ha-ha-ha-ha. Workin' for the weekend. Everybody's working for you made it, but we're gonna come out for a day. Get hammered! Let's do it! Power 96. This weekend, Power 96 is at the oil change express
Starting point is 00:18:26 Come party with us in oil change express from 5 a.m. Day Get $10 off your oil change and come meet me Brian rock and roti down at oil express I've got goozies and free tickets to the kiss reunion to her I'm giving it away to two lucky oil change customers and you could be. Power 96. We power your day. I used to sell all of that. I know. I'm blessed America. Don't worry. Radio is still definitely the most popular form of media. According to radio. No, yeah. I love that now.
Starting point is 00:19:07 We love shit non-radio, but the truth is, hey, we lived it. Yeah, we lived it. We were there. And the trenches. And the last dying breath of radio. Right, you got the eager makeup at 20 grand, right? Yeah, you got that 20 grand, right?
Starting point is 00:19:24 Yeah, there's no problem, no problem. You got a million and up at 20 grand right? Yeah, you got that 20 grand right? Yeah, there's no problem no problem. You got a million and a half dollars right? You could just like stream it or something. I don't know what you guys are doing over there, but Sure put it down I'm sure to get fired at some point Hey commercial breakers best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple. We really appreciate it. We've been deluged by wonderful comments and reviews, and we couldn't be more grateful
Starting point is 00:19:55 if you're one of those. If you're not, could you take just a few minutes and leave us a podcast review, comments or rating on your favorite podcast player, almost all of them have some version of rating or review. It helps us grow the show. It'll make you feel better and it'll tickle all of our pickles. Thanks so much. Hey, 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a text message or a voice mail and we want to hear for you comments, questions, concerns or content ideas.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Let us know by sending us a text or leaving us a voicemail at 661, the word best, the number two, why oh yo, that's 661 best to yo, and go to tcbpodcast.com. You'll find all the audio and all the video right there at one location. You can now connect with us on social media at the commercial break on instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Still the only place to find all of the video content and exclusives you cannot find anywhere else. We're going to take a short break to hear from our sponsors. Please use their specialized URLs and or codes if you're ever in the market for their products or services. We certainly would appreciate it. We know our sponsors would too. We'll be right back with this episode of The Commercial Break.
Starting point is 00:21:08 All right, so mountain monsters, here we go. Let's see if we let's see if we find somebody that we like. There's Huckleberry. There he is. There's the Huck. My favorite beer. My master, yeah. That's, he's.
Starting point is 00:21:20 The Huck Myster. He actually looks different, doesn't he? In the last one. Well, he is a different one. Yeah, he's Huckleberry number six. Yeah actually looks different, doesn't he? Then the last one? Well, he has a different one. Yeah, he's Huckleberry number six. Yeah. All right, here we go. That water.
Starting point is 00:21:33 That water? It's wet. I can hear it. Driven. Call me. He's calling me. I got to do that ritual all over again. It's called a bath. It's called a bath.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I did one when I was 12. It was a nightmare. But that water is calling me. I it. I have to do it again. I'm gonna have to do it again for the sake of mountain monsters. I got some down here. I said on that rock under that water. Ooh, it's scary. Scary water.
Starting point is 00:22:18 How can it freeze out here? It's like 35 degrees. It's huckleberry the resident. Like, huckleberry? Huckleberry? It Is Huckleberry the resident like Huckleberry? It's Huckleberry the resident. Yeah, it's your question. Yeah, it kind of goes off and does something because he was lost in the last one.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Huckleberry and I think the main guy, whatever his name is, Jimbo and Huckleberry are like, Jimbo leads the pack. Right. And Huckleberry is like the grizzled veteran. Right, okay. But he is a little space case. Grizzled veteran. He looks like the grizzled veteran.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Yeah, like right now he's in some kind of trance. He's being called to the water. Yes. Yeah, we'll find out what happens. Meanwhile, all the other, I feel off the other to mountain monsters are confused. They are. Why were you taking a bath.
Starting point is 00:23:08 You guys can stand there and pipe your jaws all you want. You ain't talking to the out of the two of that. We're gonna set here all night. Well, when Huckleberry gets it, it's fine. Yeah. Either I'm gonna get naked and show you
Starting point is 00:23:23 my shriveled penis in this water. Or we're gonna sit here all night the choice is yours Well, I thought we say I felt we look at his wing wing I got places to be things in it We'll at least build a fire Yeah, I don't think that would hurt any What exactly is the point why are we getting in the cold water, I don't think that would hurt any. What exactly is the point? Why are we getting in the cold water? I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Can we at least build a fire? We're obviously jumping in the middle. I don't understand what's going on, but it's funny. I'll write off the back. Taco Berry wants to get naked and take a bath and a cave. It's 35 degrees and Jimbo's big solution is let's build a fire. Let's build a fire at least. I know you can't big solution is let's feel the fire. Five-dollar fire at least. I know you can't tell, but it's absolutely freezing out.
Starting point is 00:24:10 And Hux talking about sitting underneath that waterfall. We're at least going to build a fire. Man, he- We're at least going to build a fire, 12 to 30 yards away. So as to pretend that we're saving our friend from certain death, we'll be over the fire while he's killing himself under this waterfall. I'm not entirely sure what we're doing either, but it makes for good TV. So our head is a damn billy goat.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Alchemy. Oh, that's right. I forget that they compare everybody to animals. Everybody has. There's a make a lot of animals. Oh, that's right. I forget that they compare everybody to animals. Everybody. Yeah, there's a Make-a-line Dirt. Yeah, for sure. Hey guys, do I also have to look at Huckleberry's penis as the cameraman or can I also opt out of this one? It's gonna be cold The last time I was down here I
Starting point is 00:25:02 Damn near lost my mind Well, thank God things have changed. This is a flash. It's scary. It's scary. It may happen to me again, but I have to go through with this. I have to have answered. Last time I was here, it was on the back of an eight ball of crystal method and two bottles of Jack Daniels. I almost lost my mind. This time, I'm not
Starting point is 00:25:35 gonna start doing crystal meth until I get to the cave. Could happen again. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. I don't want to kiss the... You ain't telling him one, but... I gotta just keep looking at his breath, and I'm like... Time to do this. Uh-oh, look at his... He's like another fucking episode of the Huckleberry.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Well, these riders are riding more and more Huckleberry and less and less Jimbo. Why didn't I get written into the waterfall scene? Does no one wanna see me go through the waterfall? Listen, well, I started mountain monsters and I don't know why Huckleberry, all the suns, got all the great parts. This calls for keen acting.
Starting point is 00:26:26 This is this big moment in the sun. Meanwhile, Huckleberry is like, I'm taking over Mountain Monster. Huckleberry number four, swept right in and took over. Also, Huckleberry's got a great head of hair. And a beer. And a beer. I mean, a great head of hair. He does. You can't exactly see what it is. Well, what do you expect? I'm under this freezing fucking water thing,
Starting point is 00:27:05 and then you guys want to throw a monster in there. Am I supposed to get Uncle Barry's dick or the monster? I don't know. If I had to make a choice in the moment, I made Uncle Barry's dick a choice, because no one prepared me again. I never know when these monsters are coming. I think it was a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:27:26 What was that? That's him. That was good devil. Wow. They found the devil. They found it. It's just me. I just got really bad gas. Shot out of the game.
Starting point is 00:27:47 That was the rumble of the devil. No, that's just diarrhea. I've had it for a couple weeks. I don't know when to my doctor said stop all the red bull and taco bell. But what he doesn't realize is you guys don't know when to my doctor. He said stop all the Red Bull and Taco Bell. But what he doesn't realize is you guys don't pay me and I see anything except for Red Bull and Taco Bell. We're not stopping now. As soon as Huck was about to step underneath that water,
Starting point is 00:28:19 we heard this massive roar. It shook the hills. We'll buy you some time. Work up that way. See if you can't lay on. He's got like, it's going on. That is the way. That's the devil.
Starting point is 00:28:31 It's a devil. God. It's like one of those bus life-year laser toys. I bought my son a Disney World. B-B-B-U. B-B-B-U. Well, I said he needed to kill the devil apparently. Oh my God. or toys I bought my son at Disney World. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- To point at the devil I want to point out I'm like a rabbit I don't even get a killer rabbit
Starting point is 00:29:11 second of all Jimbo says we'll buy you time He gonna do we just track the devil Hey Satan prince of darkness King of all evil over here You whoo Mr. Devil come on come on this way right over younger Queen of all Matthias is like the devil I'm in I'm in. Come on, Bill. Me and brother Willie, we need to head out. You guys be careful.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Till we can't lay eyes on what tell me this noise. Up, you sure you still want to do this? He's still going in? Yeah. Wow, this is like, this is Supreme Act. And Supreme Acting on behalf of Huckleberry before. He is committed to the part. This is like Daniel De Lewis.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Yeah, no, this is like Daniel De Lewis and there will be blood. He is really that good. The devil's right there and he is just looking straight at it. He's like, he's won with his character. He's going into that freezing cold water and a no one going to stop him. Not even the Prince of Darkness Satan himself. Literally.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Something I got to do for myself and for this team. There's something in that rock overhang and I'm not leaving here to we find it Done a lot Here is Bailey Paris Bailey That's two of my friends who died whacking at the wackin tree dinner lot and Paris Bailey Wekin tree, Denilott and Paris Bailey. They were so attracted to the Wekin tree, they whack themselves right off earth. They went flying like angels into heaven with their little
Starting point is 00:31:16 pee-pies hanging out, whacking at the Wekin tree. For the two, the two. Denilott and Paris Bailey. What the fuck is going on? And they're showing the cave inside of the cave when there's these initials. Initials, DL, and then PB. Paris Bailey, of course, hold on.
Starting point is 00:31:36 You know, this doesn't make sense to you? You know, I've found them along. You don't know the word of denilott and Paris Bailey, the devil cave. Let me tell you the story about devil's king. Young man named Denilott, young lady named Paris Bailey, went in searching for answers. They fell into a waterfall, frozen waterfall, and out came the devil himself took him away Oh That I actually did that myself and that's uh, that's
Starting point is 00:32:16 That sounds for that that's just me reminding myself of some groceries. I got to get a planter. It's diapers Loves baby wife, peanut butter, and jelly. But that sounds good too, if you guys wanna go with that, then a lot pairs of baby things. He's in a trance. He seriously is committed to this. Oh, he's in the cold water. He's going into the water. The cold water. Like me in the morning. I'm like, I can't wait five seconds for the shower to warm up. I'm such a baby in the morning.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I was like, I'm all the things that the mountain monsters have encountered. Yes. To be scared of, meaning Satan himself flying around some cave with Paris Lawton, that is Bayley or whatever. Yeah. The people, the other monster hunters, our mountain monster hunters, are worried about a cold waterfall that's what they're scared of. This makes no sense whatsoever. I don't want to say cold. He's saying grandpa and mom help me do this.
Starting point is 00:33:51 What exactly are you doing? I don't know. He's sitting under a waterfall on the cold. Uncle Barry, it's your grandpa Huckuck Senior from the other side. What in the fuck are you doing I died in 1910 we didn't take showers that cold a hook gets your head directly out of your ass and do something meaningful with your life like go go back to the boom chan farm that I built channa. Hey guys, we're going to run out of hot water real quick. I just want to live everybody.
Starting point is 00:34:33 No, okay, okay, I'm out of here. See you later. That's awful. I'm having a hard time watching. I don't want him to do this. What, he's taking a cold shower. What do you know what he's upset about? People do this. What, he's taking a cold shower. What do you know what they're upset about?
Starting point is 00:34:46 People do this for like fun now. They're like the wind off, the wind blow off or whatever. Yeah, this is like a training exercise to most people these days. They go into those, what do they call them? Cryogenic things. What the fuck is that all about? It's the silliness.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Silly, why would you want to be that cold? Meanwhile, Huck Huck's doing it in its full overall. And everybody's sitting around. It's the camo t-shirt-shirt everybody's sitting around watching like he's setting himself on fire. I can't watch It's too much to watch the cold water Is that one guy go after the devil with the gun? Yeah, they went to distract the devil with his pea shooter I got to go after the devil with the guy. Yeah, they went to distract the devil with his pea shooter. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing! Ah!
Starting point is 00:35:27 Ah! Ah! Ah! They got to let hot go through the ass, that's what it is. I don't know what they're doing. Chris, there's some things you just got to do on your own. No man can help you. Take a cold shower.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Ah! Ah! How car you doing? Oh! DOL! Okay, how you doing? Oh my... DONE! My dick is drilled up! That's cold. It's cold!
Starting point is 00:35:54 Oh, I can't take the humanity! I can't watch Huckleberry suffer like this anymore. I haven't seen anything like this since norm and 72 saw gone. When that when that prostitute gave me gonorrhea that was oozing. Oh, oh. Shaking. Gotta get him out there. We gotta get you out of it. Oh, shaking. We gotta get him out there. Oh, we gotta get you out of there dude. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Oh, come on buddy. We're not gonna stay in here and let you get cold! We just won't do it! When we signed on to be mountain monsters, we said, let no man get under 98.6 degrees. This is too much. Yeah, there's a lot of them in the cold water. Yeah, what's the big deal? I don't get it. Why is everybody agnosodramatic?
Starting point is 00:36:54 This water's freezing hot. There's that guy with the gun. There's the devil. There he is. Oh, I was right there. It was back here, dude. It had to circle back out around us. Let me read you over and tell about it.
Starting point is 00:37:17 A devil could do that. Quick, turn your red rider, BB gun this way. Well, kill the devil with one BB. What kind of BB gunned? For those of you listening at home, now they're out in the, there's two people stuck with Huckleberry in the cave to make sure that they watch the torture
Starting point is 00:37:35 that is cold water. And then two went out, one with a pea shooter, literally a gun that is six and a half inches long, a shotgun that is six and a half inches long. They went out to distract the devil. The devil. You got a copy. Go ahead, Willie. Whatever that was, seemed like a circle back out around.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Well, we haven't heard nothing down here. This is miserable. A hawkson bad chain. I'm going to go back and come back here. Alright, we're going back that way. We're going. This is the craziest thing I've ever seen. I have never seen a man in cold water like this before.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Oh, no. Cold time magazine. Have him change person of the year to a cold berry. I need that shot. I know. It's just like this. Yeah, in time magazine, Huckleberry's wet beard with icicles growing on it.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Man, take skull shower. Change his world. Satan defeated it. That's a favorite thing. We're going to get him out of there. He ain't coming out. He's hanging in the tunnel. We got water spree soon. Come on, let us get you over by the fire.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Oh, let's go. Huck, we need to get him by the fire. Holy shit, huck. Holy shit, huck. Holy shit, huck. Holy shit, huck. Holy shit, huck,, let him get cold! We promised each other, never under 98.6 degrees!
Starting point is 00:39:10 What did you do? Look at him, he's a big hot mess. Well guys, if I'm not suggesting something, I gotta tell. We could just drive him off. That's okay. No, alright, I'll be over here at Crafts and Services. Grab my weapon, well. Huck.
Starting point is 00:39:24 You want, what's he doing? Hucks and Services. Grab my weapon, folks. Huck. Come on, bro. Come on, man, you gotta get out of there. There's no hiding stomach. Come on, brother. We get back. We run up to Huck.
Starting point is 00:39:34 It looks like a pub signal to bear. We get a pub signal to bear. Huck signal with a bear. Huh. No, he looks like a wet bear. That's what it looks like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I love the baby, but it's snuggier on him. You think it's all right? He'll be lucky if he gets out of here with the sniffles. Ooh. Ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Uh. I'm afraid he's gonna get the sniffles. It's more gonna have to get some whippies. I've got to bring his binky over and make sure he's okay. Someone get him his passie. Yeah. This is so incredibly over-drivate. We need to get you his passie. This is so treasley over-drivedic. We need to get you out of here.
Starting point is 00:40:29 We ain't done yet. What are you talking about? What do you mean? I gotta go through with it until it's done. We need to get him through. Get this up and get him out of here. Next I'm gonna take a bite out of an ice cream cone with my teeth. I'm sensitive to the cold.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Oh man. It's getting colder by the minute and he ain't getting any warmer. Hardheaded as a meal, drink. Yep, drink. Go back to the water. Fuck you, man. You can't go back into the water. It's going to kill you. You better get to this far. Okay, you're sakin. He's far better. Man, I'm talking now. Is that crack pipe? He's got him with him. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't Look at one of those fancy meth pipes All of a sudden Huck starts working down the hill we're gonna stop this. Oh come on
Starting point is 00:41:28 He's going back towards the water as he lost his mind Hey You don't have to do anymore this Okay, okay, hey, huh, we're done filming. I mean, uh, what are you doing? I mean, what are you doing? It's a rip, guys! Where's Huckleberry going? Why does he want to get cold again? I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:41:50 He just stopped now, dude. He said no. Huck's walking back towards that water, and then he just sits down. What was that? Well, thanks, Dick. Dick, we saw that. I love how he narrates everything that happens
Starting point is 00:42:05 as if we didn't see it. Huckleberry's walking toward the water and then he sits down, and then they cut away that for somebody who goes, Huckleberry's walking toward the water, and then he just sits down. And they yells it. Huckleberry's fucking down the water.
Starting point is 00:42:17 They just sits down. Well, how are we yelling? I don't know if they all do. You have a microphone on your cell. Good God, you're gonna die. What's he doing? He's shaking back. I noticed something. What did you notice?
Starting point is 00:42:40 I'm out of the crack. I was in this pipe. I think. Someone stole my lead. Name trail. Come right down through there. Right around through here. Take our turn, set in the water. I made this trip over and over. You see that rock right there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:09 There's leaves. How that was there. Leaves! Baboons! That rock was a leaves. When I was sitting in the cold water, I noticed leaves! Oh my God, this is turned crazy. There is literally leaves all over the place.
Starting point is 00:43:33 There he was. I'm the newest member of the Mount Mount. There he was just sitting there and he noticed leaves. What do we got to do? If there's one thing I know about Satan, it's that he loves leaves I'm getting right there. Rock right here. Did it have any of this stuff on? No. Right there, Buc.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Oh, right in there. What's in there? It's in there. What's under the leaves? It's more leaves. Oh My god, this is mind blowing. I have never in my life This is mind blowing. I have never in my life. Never seen anything like it. There was leaves under the leaves. On top of the leaves. There's something. Covered.
Starting point is 00:44:37 20 seconds. What's that? Papples. What is that? Papples. What is it? It's a fleshlight! I know what this is! It's my fleshlight! It's the letter F. Four fleshlights. For fucking, this is a fucking rock.
Starting point is 00:45:12 No. It's a fucking rock. We got the wagon tree, we got the fucking rock. That's it, it's a fucking rock. Oh my god, it is a big F in... Oh! You're wagging the wagging tree, you fuck on the fucking rock. Everybody knows that.
Starting point is 00:45:34 What do we eat? They eat... We start pulling the leaves in the rock saw of it, and you look down. There's a giant F, car right in the middle of this rock. What does this mean? Big F, yeah. Is that what you remember? Huckleberries. Pop all knows.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I remember Bert and Ernie saying this is the letter what they're going to do. Remember what? I'm a film in the dark forest. Remember what? When I film in the dark forest. Film in the dark forest. We missed that episode. The last thing he said.
Starting point is 00:46:14 No. Six steps to the west from the rock with the air. Oh wow, six, the devil told him in another episode. This just in! Six steps from the west and theth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. Sixth. I found the fucking rock. Six steps from the west. Six steps from the west. Anything can be six steps from the west. He's saying six steps from the fucking rock. Oh six steps. Oh they're going there. Oh well thank God. God these here. They someone's bad attention to this stupid show There's a narrative in this show. I had no idea. What are they gonna find in the West?
Starting point is 00:47:33 Listen Chrissy they are unfolding a mystery. It's like an onion remember Tom Hanks in that movie where He was a priest and he fell through the roof of the Louvre What was that movie angels and devils demons and evils? Angels and demons. Yeah, remember that movie? This is just as important. Only this is real life. This isn't pretending, holy.
Starting point is 00:47:50 I know. There's real lives that stay here. Oh, it's over! Like flip-hanger. It's just to the west from the rock with the earth. Oh, I remember now. To the west from the rock with yeah I remember now I remember now That's why we're supposed to come back here
Starting point is 00:48:24 The old cliffhanger they found the fucking rock and now they gotta go six steps from the west. What are they gonna do? What is the conclusion? What are we gonna find? Maybe The kissing rock It could be the tonguing rock yeah fingering rock. Yeah, it could be the fingering rock We haven't found out yet. We gotta go six steps. Like in a baseball field First base. Yes, first base, second base. By the way, where did Satan go?
Starting point is 00:48:51 He got away. Yeah, Satan's guarding all his secrets. He's not doing a very good job, is he? No, no. Six guys with beards and overalls in a pea shooter found a fucking rock. Oh, man, I love it. I love it. So much fun. Yes it is. Okay maybe if you're lucky maybe if you're lucky we will round out
Starting point is 00:49:13 this week by showing you the conclusion of the fucking rock. I will find it. We will find out what's behind the fucking rock. So the it's the West. Oh man, so good. Hey guys We want to thank everybody who's been leaving us wonderful kind the comments and reviews on the podcast players So cool man so cool to wake up in the morning and catch a few new reviews and most of them, you know 90% of them are good super great and Clever funny clever funny, and I think a few of the ones that aren't so great, do give us some constructive feedback. So if you have comments, questions, or concerns, you can always send them directly to us. 661-237-8296. That's 661, the word best, the number two. Y-O-Yo, 661-best-to-yo. Go ahead and leave us a message on a voicemail or send us a text message.
Starting point is 00:50:03 And if you have any content ideas, shoot them over to us. We'd love to hear them send a link to your favorite video or oddity that you want Chrissy and I to review and who knows. Maybe it'll come up in a future episode and you certainly will get credit for it. And if you want to be on the commercial break, if you have a story that's good enough to tell on this stupid fucking podcast, like the fucking rock, let us know and maybe you'll come on the commercial break tcbpodcast.com that's where you find all the audio all the video and you can connect with us on social media at the commercial break and
Starting point is 00:50:32 youtube.com slash the commercial break that's where you can find all of the video including exclusive content and go to Spotify the commercial break live search for it that's where you'll find our most recent full episodes on video. All right, well, I guess that's all we can do today, Chrissy. I think that's all. So what I will tell you is that I do love you.
Starting point is 00:50:54 I love you. We love you out there in the podcast universe. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. There's only one thing left to do. Chrissy and I always say we must say and we do say bye! I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again.
Starting point is 00:51:28 I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again. I'm so happy to see you again. you

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