The Commercial Break - That'll Blow Your T%&$ Off (w. Heather McMahan)

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

She's beauty and she's grace, she's Heather McMahan! Bryan & Krissy gab with Heather McMahan, and she really blew our t#$% off. What makes a world tour It’s all naked in Krissy's house Bryan needs a new duvet Heather McMahan is joining us! She’s an Atlanta girl Heather’s journey Losing your pants at the fox Lettin’ it rip Smoked oysters will blow your t%$s off Robin, The Golden Bachelorette Heather’s worked at every restaurant in Atlanta and New York She's shaking her t&%s for cash! Krissy, Heather, and the housewives She's just a comedian with really great taste! Single guys need to come to Heather’s shows Find Heather Here: www.heatherontour.com Instagram: @heatherkmcmahan Her podcast: Absolutely Not   LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**  

But when I'm on vacation, your girl gets up, has a cappuccino, a macchiato, about 4,000 calories, and then I am opening up a crisp glass of PinoGree at about 10.59. And I don't want to hear it, okay? I want no judgment. People are like, breakfast wine. Yes, it is breakfast wine.

You want to know why? Because I'm clocked out. I'm not on the job. And if I have a couple white wines before noon, you're still gonna get great content. On this episode of the commercial break. This young girl is like, how are you gonna like that? And I said, what do you mean?

And she said, well, like, what, where does it plug in? And I said, oh, me, a cigarette? I said, we do you mean? And she said, well, like, what, where does it plug in? And I said, oh, you mean a cigarette? I said, we're going to use fire. We're going to use a mat. We're like, you know, something else at the lighter. And I was like, these kids just plug everything in. Yeah, they hit the tape. They don't even know how to light a real cigarette.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, Kazakhstan's welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the director of Divided Apps. Chris, enjoy. Hold on a bit. Best of you, Chris. Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

Thanks for coming back. We certainly do appreciate it. So we're back from the big holiday weekend. Yeah. Big Thanksgiving holiday weekend. And I'm sure everyone had a good time. I hope you had a very nice Thanksgiving with you and yours. Chrissy and I were here doing six to 12 episodes a week. Okay, so you missed it.

Feel free to. We had Turkey delivered to the studio. We had Turkey delivered to the... We were literally here the entire time. Chrissy, we're in TREPIT. We don't stop. No. We're here all the time, just for you.

As a matter of fact, we're so on time and here, just for you, that we recorded this before Thanksgiving to make sure it got out on time. So we're just pretending like it's we're back from Thanksgiving. Oh, I'm looking forward to a big, goby goby meal. And a big, old, naffity nap. That's what makes me happy. Thanksgiving for some reason is just my favorite holiday of the year.

I mean, Christmas is like the sentimental favorite. But favorite is far as feeling, feeling no stress, no pressure. I know no one's gonna be working on Friday. No one's gonna call me and tell me I owe them money. You know, it's like Friday is gonna be a relaxed day. The local actor's sacred break. That's right. Then we just roll into the weekend. No fuss, no fuss.

That's the kind of holiday I enjoy, Chrissy. Me too. The kind where no one's calling for TCB money, no one's calling for the TCB money that we're not making. But I do wanna thank everybody who listened to the Virdas, downloaded the Virdas episode,

everybody who responded so positively on Instagram. I think we got like 100,000, 150,000 views on that TikTok reel that we put out in just like a couple hours. That's wild. It's insane. But you know, he's extraordinarily popular in a place where they have a whole lot of human beings

to watch Instagram reels. That's true. Plus he's traversing six continents. Everywhere but in Antarctica, it keeps on leaving everyone wants to leave out in Antarctica. And I don't understand it. Or Antarctica. I know

Antarctica Do you have trouble saying that without saying antartica? Like you can't say just like quickly like anarka because it sounds a wordy together So I always have to pause and say antartica, but maybe that's part of like my Speech impediment coming back is that sometimes I have to really pronounce words very well or my tongue gets lazy and it goes to the side. I'm just tongue twisters. Dumb are just tongue twisters, that's right. Speaking of twisters, I have a question to ask you about your personal life. You know how I want to be a fly on that wall over the house so much. I want to know what you and Jeff are up to so bad.

I feel like you have this vision that isn't it, but I'm just gonna let you roll with it. I feel my vision is a nudist resort with a lot of half songs playing. It's just a party on the time. New party. I just have this vision of Jeff's. Henry Fond is there. Yeah, Jeff's naked ass cooking in the kitchen with like an apron on or a frock. I'm just gonna let you think about that. Well, hey, listen, let me have my wishes and dreams. Can I have my dreams. Sure. You could take my money. You could take my house.

You could probably take my dog if you ask nicely, but you can't take my vision of Jeff cooking naked in the house. We both do. That's right. Yeah. But everything's fine. I thought about something the other night. I really got in my, it's stuck in my car. Actually, naked could get, let me just say naked cooking would really not work in my house because I injure myself all of the time. Yes. At Burns, Cuts, Scrapes, that kind of thing. I have a first aid kit and a burn kit specifically in the kitchen.

It's a good idea. Yeah. What happened there? Because when Chrisys cooking, it's probably like this. No 30 in the morning! That's like going up man. Chrissy's late night kitchen does pop up a few times. Oh, hey listen, I've been the beneficiary of some late night Chrissy kitchens and I do

have to say it has come in handy on occasion. Most of the time it was dominoes knocking at the door, but sometimes it was even too late for dominoes that even though they delivered it sometimes it was even too late for dominoes that even though they delivered it all eight in the morning or whatever it is. So Chrissy would whoop us up something like, you know, ramen noodles with cheese or something like that.

It was always so delicious. Not because Chrissy doesn't have better skills in the kitchen, but because Brian has no food in his refrigerator. He just has cash. I can work with what you got. So here is my question. Okay.

What do you make your bed every day? Yes. Do you make it like a hotel bed? Do you tuck in the corners, tuck it tight, leave it nice, or do you just kind of flip the covers up and throw the pillows on? No, make it nice. We make it nice. However, I do have to say we do not use a top sheet.

You don't use a top sheet? We use a sheetless top sheet. You don't use a top sheet. You just, you just, oh my God. Top sheetless years ago, it was part of this bedding line. And I thought, you know what, that is a great idea. No clothes, no full songs, skin on skin on the comforter. Do you have a duvet or a comforter? Duvet. Duvet, dick to duvetay ratio in Christie's house is like a hundred. There's a hundred dick for every hundred. It's so much easier to have to say I've loved it because you know how the top sheet can get kind of tangled up.

That's what I was going to talk to you about. Whatever, no, that takes that away. You only go top sheet. You only do do Vay. Just throw right on you. So you have a really nice do Vay. So you have a fitted sheet and then you have a do Vay. And then you just get under the duvet

Lots of good pillows and you don't see a cold. Do you have a blanket that goes on top of you on top of the duvet? It's there in case you want it. Just in case. Do you like to sleep cold? I do. Does Jeff like to sleep cold? Yes. You guys turned down like 67-68 at night. Yeah, so do I. As drives astro crazy. She wants it at 70. It's that two degrees. We're always, or sometimes she'll go and she'll switch the nest on me. Yeah. But she doesn't realize that I have a program down my phone. So I get alerts. And I'm like, a deer, you turn it down. A deer, you turn it up to 69. I had it at 68. The perfect temperature for sleeping. Well, the way I see it, you can always kind of, and you can never take away. Right. If you're, if you're just down to the duvet, and then it gets too hot, then really your tits up in the bed and the dick to duvet ratio goes down, way down, zero dick to 100 duvet.

I was going to talk to you about this because I went into the room the other night and one of the kids was laying in the bed and sometimes the kids will sleep. But that's, you know, if they fall asleep on the bed, whatever we go in there. One of the kids was there and Astrid was sleeping in the room with the baby because he on occasion she still does that, right? Yes. So sometimes we're separated not because we don't have a lovely marriage,

we have a lovely marriage, but we did it right with the most recent child that we have, the 17th child that we have. What we did was leave the baby in the crib, leave the crib in its own room. Put the parent there and don't make them rely on you to go to sleep, right? They need to be in their own space. The other 16 children we fuck during the pandemic by allowing them to sleep in the bed whenever

they want. Everybody in. And I think a lot of parents did this. I think it was important in that moment to hold them tight, let them, it gives them some sense of security and comfort. You know, hey, the world's a little scurry right now with the masks and the weirdness, but we're here at home, we're together.

But so anyway, I go in, I take a shower, like I normally do this three and a half hour shower, and then I come out, and I, you know, I adjust the covers and the pillows and make sure that he's, that one of my kids is tucked in correctly and all that other stuff. And then I go to my side of the bed, and I hop on, and that sheet, that middle sheet, the top sheet,

is all ca-fucked up, right? And it's not that I know this because it's so backwards that I can tell, like it, you know, it's clearly twisted off the bed. It's just a little bit out of position and I can feel it on my feet and legs. And I got so bothered by this, Chrissy, that I literally spent 20 minutes

remaking the bed while my child was in it, just to make sure that the top sheet was sitting correctly. So my feet didn't get irritated with some weird flap of top sheet hanging out down below the other regions. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, I'm just a good topless. I don't know if I could go topless. This seems like a dangerous place to be. Why don't you have a good quality, Duvet. See, that's a thing. With the good quality cover for it, you know,

it's a world of difference. I shared with Astrid the other day. I said, hey, we should really get a new Duvet. Because after this is Goose, there's Goose feathers in here. And so after a while, all that extra dead skin and the oils it all starts to build up, even if you have a, obviously you should have a Duvet cover on it, even if you have a, obviously, you should have a duvet cover on it. Even if you have a duvet cover,

it's still making its way through. It's microscopic stuff, it builds up, it makes it heavy and flat, right? Yes. So I say, so, you know, it's been a couple of years, we should get a new one. She goes, it's been 15 years.

And I go, what? And she goes, it's been 15 years since you got a new duvet. And I said, I haven't even known you for 15 years. She goes, exactly my point. We've had this duvet since you were dating the last chick before me. Oh, no. And then I said, I haven't even known you for 15 years. She goes, exactly my point. We've had this duvet since you were dating the last chick before me. And then I remembered, it like dawned on me.

She's right, the last time I got to get a new duvet. It's like priority number one. So please donate to Brian's duvet go fund me. Now available online everywhere. You're in luck because it's like the time for sales right now. Yeah, that's true. And they are saying that prices for Christmas gifts are going to come down this year because there's over inventory now.

Now we're over supplied. We were under supplied, now we're over supplied, and inflation is coming down. And so it's going to be a little bit better for Christmas. It doesn't really matter when you don't have any money, whether the prices are up or the prices are down. It's still all untiedable. Or if you need emergency new due. Emergency new due. You know what my dad and my stepmom do?

Is they say, okay, X amount of dollars per couple, right? Yeah. So the kids are separate, meaning the grandkids are separate. They get their own little budgets in their own little world. And they do their, they will buy presents for them and they're each individually. However, to avoid confusion and chaos between the two human beings, or married, or boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever, we're going to do this amount of money per couple.

And if you're single, you get all that money to yourself. So we have to pick like a couple gift that we want. So I feel like I'm going to go do Vey, because I've got to go do Vey. It fits well within there. And then I'm going to ask for, you know, Taylor Swift tickets in Toronto or something like that to pay my wife happy. Yeah. Yeah.

I want to make sure we use that money as wisely as possible. And I think a dovey is there. Oh. Because now I'm ultimately irritated by the fact that this thing is 15 years old and it's sitting on my body. Yeah. Now I have a whole other level of OCD going on. I can't go with it.

I can't go topless until I get a new duvet. That's all I got to say, Chrissy. I'll keep everyone posted, because I'm sure this is going to be the first thing they think about when they get back from their Thanksgiving vacation, whether or not Brian has a new duvet. Oh, it's definitely top of mind. I'll let you know. We feel super blessed here at the commercial break, Chrissy. We have started taking on guests.

We had Veer last week. The episode did great. Veer was fucking hilarious. We love us a little Veer dolls around here. And then right after that, today we get Heather McMan. Yeah. Super star, rising comic, I mean, not even rising comic. She has made it.

Oh, she made it. Yeah, Netflix special is out right now world tours, just like a viewer. I don't know if she's hitting all seven continents, not minus Antarctica. But she's definitely hitting Australia. She's going to Australia. She's got a couple dates here in the United States. And we feel grateful just to have her here for a conversation because she's also the guest host of the Today Show sometimes, that's insane. And she's a hometown girl.

Here we go. She's a hometown girl, she's an Atlanta girl. Woman is 36 years old. She's been multiple times guest host on the Today Show. She has a Netflix special that just came out called Sun I Never Had. She just filmed her next special at the Fox two sold out shows, The Fox Theater, here

in Atlanta. You can go and get tickets to her tour, Heather on tour.com. That's Heather on tour.com. You can go to her Instagram that made her famous. That's kind of the craziest part about Heather's story to me. And I'd like to get into it with her when she comes on the show. The craziest part about this is she goes from Instagram musings to co-hosting the Today Show,

selling out the Fox Theater ESPN game day. And I can't wait to talk to her because she's fucking hilarious. She really is. And she's actually, she's been working at this for a long time. But to the public eye, it does seem like it was one day here, one day there. And that's all that matters at the end of the day, right?

Is that when you make it, you know, that sometimes people just light on fire, much like the commercial break has not done. That's the opposite of fire. And sometimes you have water thrown on you. That's what happens. Here at the commercial break, we're happy to take the punches. Yeah, so Heather on to her.com, at Heather McBann on Instagram.

And I'd also like to tell you that she's got a podcast. She does it by herself. I can't wait to get into this with her too, because you remember when I tried to do the podcast by myself. Yes. Hi, I'm Brian Green. I'm a father, a son, a pragmatic pragmatist. And I want to talk to you about all the things that I've done in my life. Well, over two people tuned into that special episode of the commercial break. It was the least downloaded episode of the commercial break for at least a hundred weeks,

and then I took it down because I couldn't take it anymore. You quickly pulled me into your realm. Yes. Thank God that you were there episode. I mean, officially you were there episode number one, this version of the commercial break. But unofficially, there was one episode of the commercial break by myself and then Chrissy came on.

But we have 5,000 episodes in and we still haven't caught on fire. But when it happens, I hope it happens like it did with Heather because what an amazing story. And then being a hometown girl, I feel like, I feel like in some sense, we're already friends. Do you feel like that? We're already friends with each other. Yeah, we had a lot in common, we talk about that.

So. Yeah, okay, so this is what I wanna do. Let's take our first break. We're back with Heather McMahon. After these commercials, pay attention kids. This is gonna be, what is it? Epic. No, the Tier Me be, what is it? Epic. No, the tier of me soup, itches.

I thought you were gonna say tier of me soup, bitches. This is gonna be- Tera me soup, bitches. I say tier of me soup. Cause I worked at that Italian restaurant where we were giving away bottles of Kianta Classico, and I heard from straight from an Italian man. Tere me soup, Brian.

Eh, table number two, with a bottle of old vinegar and some stale bread, please Brian,, please wear your soft shell clabs. I charge $50 per crab. Where are their soft shell clabs? Brian, he had to go. Let's take a short break. I'll be back with more Italian shenanigans. Heather McVeigh.

Yes. There you go. All right. We'll be back. Okay, Brian. Let me give the people what they want. Our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. If like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more. Give us a call and leave us a message at 626-ask-TCB3. Or send us a text, no sexting please, at 855TCB8383.

And of course, go to TCBpodcast.com to see everything there is to see. Now let's hear from our sponsors and then the show is going on. This episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at Uncommon Goods. Alright, Christmas is coming up. We're all doing the mad dash to figure out what everybody wants, go to the stores, buy online, all that other stuff. But me personally and my brothers can tell you this, I like to be very unique about my gift giving. So unique that no one has any clue what I'm thinking when I get them a present.

In other words, I get gag gifts every year for my brothers and some of my immediate family, and I always love to see their faces when they open up the gift, disappointed they didn't get anything real, but they get a good chuckle nonetheless. I am so pleased that uncommon goods is now making it much easier for me to find these particular items. And it's not just about fun and gag gifts, they have everything. Home items, decor, corporate gifts, jewelry, if you need it, they have it. This is a truly unique shopping experience.

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And if you have the key, no one's getting their phones. I hope my wife never finds that particular gift. How about this one? An actual game, a board game called Gonjolam. That's going to be fun for all the kids. I really like this company. And they like you. To get 15% off, your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com slash TCB. That's UncommonGoods.com slash TCB for 15% off your next gift go to UncommonGoods.com slash TCB. That's UncommonGoods.com slash TCB

for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. UncommonGoods, we are all out of the ordinary. And that's something every TCB listener can agree upon. Again, go to UncommonGoods.com slash TCB for 15% off your first gift. Go to this website. You'll have a ton of fun. And thank you to UncommonGoods for being a sponsor of the Commercial Ring. Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing Vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off. What's the issue?

40 percent off Cyber Monday Vacation Deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40 percent off. Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know. In fact, it's in the script. When you save more, you can do more. For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... And Heather is joining us right now. Hi Heather, how are you? Hi guys, I'm great. How are you?

We are doing wonderfully. We really appreciate your time today. Thank you for coming on. We have so many things in common. I don't even know where to start. And I mean, we like the collective commercial break. You're hearing that? Let's make you creepy.

Let's go. Let's go. We're gonna have it, we're gonna go to it. Someone, someone's going to jail today. Have there, someone's going to jail today. I love it. So we're here in Atlanta. You're also here in Atlanta. Yep.

Do you, and you've been here since you were born, right? You're like an Atlanta native? Atlanta native. I bounced around, I lived in New York in LA. I seemed to go between those two every couple years. But after the pandemic, Atlanta is home. This is where I, when I am on the road touring, I come right back to Atlanta. I got to be honest, I love Atlanta. I was born in Chicago, but I came here when I was 13, so I was just a kid. But I do love me some Atlanta. I feel like it's a really cool town.

It's a very diverse town. It's like, I don't know. I feel like we miss some of the drama that other big cities get into. And I wonder if that's just because everyone's like too nonchalant to give a shit. We're all just here trying to get along. People are always surprised when they're like,

oh, I'm from Atlanta. And it's funny because being in the industry, like people from LA, New York, love to talk shit about it. And I'm like, first of all, we have everything that y'all have. Exactly. So I don't want to hear it. We have great food, a great entertainer scene. And, but we also have a great quality of life,

like Southern hospitality and it's finest. But we also, like you said, kind of don't give a shit. We're like, do your thing. We know. Yeah, I agree with you. I don't know. There's just like a level of cool about this city that I think you have to live here to really understand.

So I was so happy to see that you're from Atlanta because I knew automatically we had one connection. But now let's get really weird because Kristen Joy Houdley here, my best friend, for almost two decades, when I started watching you, which by the way, you flip up on my Instagram all the time, which this is how, this is your path to success, right? This is how you got this.

From Instagram to today's show, come on, it's amazing. It's an unbelievable story, we'll get into it. But instantaneously, I feel like you're a version of Kristen Joy Hobie. And then Chrissy. She's my better version. Yes, she's your better half.

She's your younger half, that's for sure. Chrissy walks into the studio and starts talking about all these similarities that the two of you have that I think is quite strange. So it's not to appear as the stalker. I'm going to let Chrissy discuss that with you. All right, all right. All right, I've made a list here, Heather. First of all, tier a msubich.

Tear a msubich. Okay, so we both enjoy a good breakfast wine. I'm perfecting right now. Yep. I ain't having a nice coffee, but I will have wine at about four. Yeah, there you go. There you go.

We'll be thinking of you. Thoughts and prayers. We both have husband's name, Jeff, who have great character. Just amazing. I love that. We both got married in name Jeff who have great character. Just amazing. I love that. Yeah, we both got married in Italy. Oh, what?

We were in the Malfi Coast. Oh, beautiful. Just there in September. We got married in Tuscany, but by the way. I mean, the whole country. I love every part of it. Yeah, absolutely. Tuscany and Malfi Coast.

I mean, we're pulling short straws at this point. Yeah. We both love to stress clean and organize. I heard you say that and I'm the same way. I will have a manic episode in about 30 minutes and to report my house. The commercial breaks going to drive her crazy. I love it. Like all other listeners.

If you saw, if you saw my, this is, I just pulled this out of my work bag. It's just a random t-shirt and a bra. Like this is, it's a mess. I love it. I love it. Now, I don't have two dogs named after Pasta, but let me say, I mean, Rigatoni and Magarrionier are the two best things for two Frenchies I've ever heard in my life, so thank you. Oh my gosh.

I, I mean, you know, I, I think you should name the things that you love after other things that you love. So obviously my husband and I are too heavy-set Italians. So we love Grigatoni as our favorite pasta and then we got macaroni from a vet in Mississippi and I would school Mississippi. So I'm like macaroni and cheese macaroni. It's all, you know, it all worked. Came out in the walk. Absolutely. And that's the other connection I forgot about my husband went to Ole Miss. So, yeah, I love that.

You went to Ole Miss and one of our intrepid like researchers here was telling me that you were like the orientation person for all the new girls at Delta Gamma, like Gamma Rush, what's going on here? It's so we about it. So I was technically like, it's called like new member educators, so I was in charge of teaching you the ins

and outs of what it was like to be a Delta Gamma. I was horrible at my job. I cut them nothing, but I wasn't charged. So junior year I was an officer. I wasn't charged a planning bid day, and that was really fun. So I threw the wildest party ever, but I was honestly terrible if I could go back,

I would have been far more responsible, but I was honestly terrible if I could go back, I would have been far more responsible, but I was partying a little too hard in college to ever have like, you know, an officer job. Yeah, that's amazing. How weird to you is this journey that you've taken from Instagram to today's show, Coho. It's like I understand from reading up about you that this was your life's passion.

One of the things that really struck me is you said in one of these magazine articles, like Atlanta Magazine or something, one of those softball magazine articles that when other kids were playing dress up or cowboys and whatever they were playing, you were imagining yourself as a guest of David Letterman or Conan O'Brien.

And that resonated with me. That was me as a guest of David Letterman or Conan O'Brien. And that resonated with me. Like that was me as a kid. My grandmother would always watch Letterman at night or Carson at night, and I'm a little older than you. And then, but I always imagined myself being interviewed by one of those people. So when you said that in that article, I was like, wow, that really resonates with me.

So this was a life's passion, but it really did. It kind of took off in a weird way. Yeah, I mean, I, I always, my friends were always playing like teacher or teenage mutant indichertals, and I literally was always sitting on the couch waiting for my sister to pretend to be Jay Leno to interview me for whatever hit me. I had to be out like, I don't know why. I know it sounds so weird, but even as a little kid, I mean, people used to ask me, what do you get to be when you get older? And I said a comedian.

I thought that, or a teenager was a full-time job. Nice. So I thought everybody had a white jeep, and that's what you did, which worked. And you were just like, share horror with, from Poulis. I always knew I was going to do comedy. But it's funny now, because people see that I'm on this trajectory, but people forget that

it's been like a 12-year grind. So it's awesome. I love the women at the Today Show, Hoda and Jenna. They're so good to me. Whatever I'm a new tour or whatever I'm promoting, I'm always on there with those cows and they're just the best. But it is kind of out of body for me some days. I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe this in my life.

But I still feel like I have so far to go. You know, I just had the first Netflix special come out. It was a hit. I'm like, I can't believe this. Like now that I can go on Netflix and see my face, and I know that I've put in that work. There's so many years, I'm like, hey, this is kind of why.

Yes, cheers to you on that. Congratulations. Thank you. The special is fucking hilarious. I'll put a link in the show notes and we'll give all the details on the show notes and as we wrap the interview, this, you just finished your second special too.

The first one just came out and then I read that you were here last week. You went to the dogs game, you're on game day, you played the Fox theater, sold out two nights, we have friends that went, they were blown away, they said that you were fucking hilarious. Oh good, I'm so glad. Are you producing this one yourself? Yeah. So it kind of works the way it works these days. There's a lot of, you know, comedians. We make our own stuff, right? And so then we take it out to market. So, you know, I'm

pretty sure Netflix will get the first right. So, you know, the first pass for this next one. You know, and I really haven't done a traditional trajectory, like a lot of people, you know, they take two years of between specials, but I shot my special that's out on Netflix now, a year ago, so this was kind of just like, how it rolls. So, and of course, I knew the first time

I performed at the Fox, I said, I have to shoot a special here. Like it is, the staff is incredible. It's the most amazing theater for me. It's so iconic as a kid. I'm noticing everything, every comedian, every musical act at the Fox. So that was important to me right out the gate.

But to answer your question, am I doing too much? Yes, right now in the last week, I have done too much. I told Chrissy, I said, I have this dream that we do, this version of the commercial break at the Flax Theater. You know, go do a live show. First of all, we're too chicken shit to do that. The microphone and this cozy room

that's supposed to be my daughter's is wonderful. And I get nervous about getting on stage. But the second thing is, I'm not sure we could fill the Buckhead saloon. Well, we're gonna do a dive bar tour. Yeah, we're gonna do a dive bar tour. I think that's where we should start. Like, Northside Tavern.

I'll tell you what, though. I didn't know if I could either, and you will be surprised that people from your hometown will come out and drove to support. And it is the coolest thing. I think you just got to, if you build it, they will come. And that is how I've done my whole career. I've just been like, you know what?

I'm going to throw shit against the wall, see what sticks. If it brings me joy, it makes me laugh. I know somebody else is going to connect to it, and it's just been like, you know what? I'm gonna throw shit against a wall, see what sticks. If it brings me joy, it makes me laugh. I know somebody else is gonna connect to it, and it's just been a ride since then. I feel like we have the exact same attitude here at the commercial break. It's almost bankrupt my family at least three times. And Chrissy's come back along on the rocks.

You went to private school, GAC private school here in Atlanta. And I went to St. Pius, so I just say that because soccer rivals. Old rivals. Yeah, only I was in school 36 years before I was here in school. So you come home, you play your hometown crowd here at the Fox Theater, which when I know that your other special was filmed in Kentucky, I was like, why didn't she do this at the Fox Theater? Like this would have been perfect.

But of course, you know, sometimes you got to do what you got to do before you did the Fox Theater and sell out for two nights. You have an after party. Someone shows up and we were just listening to your podcast and I swear this funny story is a trend but with only with people that look like, you know, Haley Bieber and Kylie Jenner. Not everybody. Not me. Not lie to each other. Not everybody. Yeah. I'll tell you right now, not my fan.

Not me. Not me. So the trendy game popular, I think it was like Prada or Mimeo, one of those fabulous Italian brands had this like look where everybody just kind of wore essentially a speedo with tights and that became a look. Yeah. Very few people like you said can pull that off. Well, young woman somehow snuck into my after party

and we thought that that was a look she was going for. She ended up emailing my team on Monday and I read it a lot of my podcast. She's like, by the way, I was not going for that look. I just lost my pants somehow at the Foxy. I heard that. She just fucking lose her pants at the Foxy. Yeah.

She said, I think she took like an edible and had drank way too much. And then it just went pantlet. And I said, that is concerning. And I was, it said the terrace. Was this across the street of the terrace? Yes, yeah. And she had a body suit.

So you know, a lot of women were like these, you know, type body suits underneath a, underneath a great outfit, but it was a thong body suit. So a lot of women wear these tight body suits underneath a great outfit, but it was a thong body suit. So when you walked into the party, I just thought, oh, she's got a leotard on. And then when she turned around, I said, that's badass. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah. Yeah. You got some wild fans. I love it. I do. They never see suit surprise me. I am always on my toes. I'm like, what's gonna happen today? Women don't get out of the house enough with what I've written. They do. So they never cease to surprise me. I am always on my toes. I'm like, what's going to happen today?

When they don't get out of the house enough? They're all getting crazy. You got to go check out Heather's podcast, which is fucking hilarious. I know how hard it is to do a show by like a podcast by yourself. I did exactly two of them at the very beginning of this program Now we're like 600 up 1000 episodes in or something, but I did two of them by myself, and it was terribly unfunny. I started talking about I was a father, I'm a son, I'm a pragmatic pragmatist. I just, I don't even know what I was talking about. I was so nervous.

He like jumps the matrix. Totally. Totally. Totally. And the funny thing is, I don't get it too, but that's probably one of our popular episodes at first. But is it difficult to do that podcast on your own, or is it just because you're used to kind of using into the camera by yourself?

Do you feel like you can carry it on your own? I'm just curious from like, I don't know, like, it's just a minutia question. Is that difficult to carry the podcast on your own? I'll tell you what, every week I surprise myself. I'm like, I can't do it today. And I had the podcast for four years, where he only recently started doing video elements to him. And it was such a safe space for me to sit in this basement office and literally just let it rip

for an hour. And it was just so cathartic. But now I have to be on camera and kind of like pay attention to whether or not like, you know, my bronzer isn't much right. And that takes a little bit out of it for me. But I know if again, I need to see some sort of like medical professional, but for some reason for an hour, I can just let it rip and it's very fun and cathartic for me. And there are days where I'm like,

well, what the fuck did I just talk about? You know, we do the same thing. Yeah, we do the same thing. Yeah. They do, they listen, we cannot believe it. We are beside ourselves that anybody chooses to listen, let alone the amount of people that listen. It's just insane to me. The podcast is really fucking hilarious. You have to go check it out. Absolutely not. But here's another question I have. You were, and it makes me laugh to even think about this.

You were telling a story about how you had to record two nights for your special because of course that's what you do. You got to do pickups and you got to make sure that you get hit the lines and you don't want flood-ups and stuff like that. But you recorded the first night when you had- One night was different. You had to recommend the crowd the second night.

I love it. Get into this a little bit because I think it's too funny. So it is a little different when you go to see a taping for a special because there's cameras everywhere. So I always like, you know, I tried to warn my audience, hey, just so you know, like if you're talking about something illegal, the camera can pick it up, right? I didn't think this would be a problem. I saw it a great time, like I still perform, like I'm doing my regular stage show, but

at the end, then I'll have to do pickups, which is you just come out. You might, you know, if you flood the line or, you know, kind of shoot on your words, or you say stuff, just to get a clean take on camera. Sure. Well, Thursday night, we're going back, and we're, you know, we're replaying some of the video. And I can literally hear a woman turning to her friend, at some point, just being like,

you want to do ketamine in the bathroom? I'm like, oh, what is happening? Who goes into a K-hole on a comedy show? I'm in Thursday night! But there's, I need to understand, What is happening? Who goes into a K hole on a comedy show? I don't know, say no. But there's, I understand taking mushrooms, being an edible, the ketamine is probably the last thing I'd want to take, and then have to sit quietly for two hours.

Exactly. But it was wild. And so then Friday we came out, my director, Jen Zabrowski, she directs my first special. She came out and gave, you know, it's like a packed house, like 5,000 people, she might, I think she put the fear of God in them. She was like, do not mess this up. We have one shot.

And it was hilarious. I came out, everybody was sitting like Chris Cross applesauce, like perfect children. I'm like, all right. No, not a handle this. So it was wild. Where are you picking that up? Is it because you have microphones in the crowd

to catch the crowd noise? And then they're just like super sensitive So they're picking up conversation. Yeah, it just so happened that this is to Rambunctious ladies were sitting right next to one of the cameras Thousand bucks. It's the two people I knew that went to the show Thousand bucks. It's the two people I know they are I would I would have thought it was the lady who did that pan-fried She came on Friday night, so yeah, only do ketamine under therapeutic circumstances, Heather.

I don't have everyone know that. There you go. Under duress. A K-hole is not where I want to be during a comedy show or any other public event for that matter. No. I try to tell people it's really different. If you're going to see Harry Styles, if you're going to go see Drake at State Farm Arena,

get as messed up as you want. But come and see comedy. It's so wild to me. I'm like, I, your, you know, premium for a good ticket. I would wanna hear what people have to say. I'm a thousand percent. Yeah, you would wanna make sure that you actually understand the material that's coming at you.

You're there to laugh. Yeah. Chrissy and I reviewed this video. Heather, it's so fucking funny. I don't know if you've seen this on TikTok or Instagram. There's a guy. He's at the Raider's game. And there's not much context to this video. It's so fucking funny. I don't know if you've seen this on TikTok or Instagram. There's a guy. He's at the Raiders game and there's not much context to the video. It comes on. You literally see a guy. He's kind of laughing and giggling. And then the camera pans down toward his lap and he is taking a fucking bump of cocaine in the

stadium in the end zone packed house Sunday night football, he is just sitting there doing blow. And I'm like, you're ruining it for the rest of us. Stop it. Now what are you doing? First of all, it was Vegas. Yeah, it was Vegas fair enough. Why is he picked up on like like the main broadcast or just somebody on TikTok picked up?

He is shithead friend, recorded it, and then posted it to Instagram. First of all, he's probably divorced without children right now. Sin has no job. And he's also the NFL is banned him from everything of all, he's probably divorced without children right now, since it has no job. And he's also the NFL's band-in from every day. Right, for sure. He's a forward shirt.

But my only thought was, not about the poor bastard who just got videotape and put up their or breaking all rules of drug etiquette, is that I don't wanna be stuck somewhere sitting with thousands of people and I'm eye, I just don't. I wanna be at home like normal people do. Normal paranoid people. I'm right there with you. I mean, I at home like normal people do. Normal paranoid people. I'm right there with you.

I'm only 36, but I now have like in my little clutch, you know, when I go to a concert, I've got like electrolyte tablet. Yeah, yeah. You know, I think it's devices. I have a couple drinks that I love, like a vacation cigarette, you know. I'm like, I only love one.

Who's got a men's ball. Um, so, you know. She's so old. I'll be right a party in the Hamptons. My dresser and Ray and I were at this place called Surf Lodge in the Hamptons this summer. And I already felt like I was too old. I was like, it was a day party. I'm like, it's loud.

Oh my God, we're gonna sit at the gate. And we asked for a cigarette from somebody. So somebody passes over a cigarette and this young girl and this shows how different the generations are. This young girl is like, how are you gonna like that? And I said, what do you mean? And she said, well, like, what, where does it plug in? And I said, oh, me a cigarette?

I said, we're gonna use fire, we're gonna use a mat. We're like, you know, something else at the lighter. And I was like, these kids just plug everything in and they hit the base. They don't even know how to light a real cigarette. I know. Did they ever see in a movie? You got to light a cigarette to be cool,

and only do it when you're drunk, because that's the only time it really matters. Yeah. That is the only time to light a cigarette. It's when you've had 45 dirty martinis, because that's the only thing that's gonna keep you from throwing up. This is the...

I feel like cigarettes and alcohol, just they're made, they were made in some kind of heaven together. It's like milk and cereal out of peanut butter and jelly. I agree. Speaking of food, I got a quick, I got a quick question for you. F Mary kill. Ready? Okay. The Thanksgiving day sides edition.

We heard your meat since it was so hilarious. So now it made a thing. So now it made a funny back ham story with you putting it on and letting the neighborhood dogs go crazy. That's like, I fucking love honey bagged ham. I love it too. It doesn't get enough love. And I think there's like quiet revolution though that everybody is like starting to kind of rumor

amongst themselves like, Hey, are you guys doing turkey this year? And everyone's like, no. I was at the doctor's office this morning and the lady like doing, you know, checking my vitals was like, we're doing roast beef. What are you guys doing? I was like, it's like, no. The doctor's office this morning, and the lady like checking my vitals was like, we're doing roast beef, what are you guys doing? I was like, it's like a dirty cigarette. I'm actually doing filet mignon.

We're doing turkey. Everyone's revolting against the turkey. I'm bringing it out into the open because yesterday on the show, Chrissy and I were sharing about our Thanksgiving. I'm like a lot of families, I have a split Thanksgiving because of divorce parents. So one of the Thanksgiving, I can't take too much turkey,

I'm not interested, like, okay, one turkey, good turkey serving, and then maybe a turkey sandwich later on in the evening, but I don't want turkey five times, I just don't want it. That's a poor, low green cube. We did chili thanksgiving, and I loved it, and I intend to repeat. It was good. That's a great idea.

Or what am I fuck marrying killing? Stuffing, cranberry sauce, yams. Also notice we potatoes here in the South. Yep. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm, try this one. I'm throwing five. I'm gonna kill cranberry sauce only because it's messy.

You know, you know because it's messy. You know, it's all bloody, it's done. It's runny and weird. Yeah, I mean, no matter how you make it, I don't need it in my life. I'm gonna, I'm gonna marry sweet potatoes. Oh, okay. And because there's something hardy grounding,

it's always there for you, you can have a sweet potato in a million different ways. And then I'm gonna fuck this shit out of some stuff Yeah, that's how I would have answered. Yeah, it's it can be a little spicy. You can add a little rosemary You can add a little you know, so sausage. How at whatever your flavor is you can keep it sexy with stuffing Are you so southern that it is a tradition or has been a tradition in your family or somewhere to put oysters in stuffing. Have you done this? No, that's not our thing.

So the funny thing is, I'm a southern bell. My dad was super southern, but my mom's from Boston. So basically every meal I eat is a giant. So some kind of Italian. We used to have paintings of lasagna at our Thanksgiving. Well, lasagna, I feel like it could go well with any meal. Lasagna is just like a good go-to. I feel like.

That's true. Agreed. Yeah, I was married. I'm married now. I was having my next wife and her family made this oyster casserole as a substitute for stuffing. I can't get behind that. One time she went to work and I could see if she was stressed out about this oyster casserole

she had to make for the family. So I'm like, don't worry, I'll do it for you. And she gives me the ingredients and then the recipe. And it's like canned oysters. And I just almost threw up in my mouth because I thought to myself, what in the fuck does oysters have to do with Thanksgiving? What in the world does this have to do with Thanksgiving? And they assured me it was a southern thing. Even though I'm 99% sure it's not a southern thing.

Well, actually, it is kind of a Southern thing, even though I'm 99% sure, it's not a Southern thing. Well, actually, it is kind of a Southern thing. You know what's making it come back is like smoked canned fish. Oh right, yeah. Smoked oysters. I actually picked some up the other day of Trader Joe's because that's a soft thing I'd take to talk. And somebody was like, take saltines and like mustard

and then a smoked oyster and apparently, it's supposed to blow your teeth off. It's not gonna be good. But I also opened the smoked oysters and I was like, I don't think I can do that. I'm not right. Yeah, that's what I did when I opened the cans. So I'm gonna big come back to it.

My wife loves sardines. She's been a swaling and half Spanish, half Spanish, half Spanish, so sardines like run in the blood or something like that. My father-in-law eats them raw right out of the can and I just think, I can't even touch them. I don't even want to look at them. They're could slime me and gross. And I just daste when someone wants to put them on my seasore

cell and I'm like, please don't put any fish on my seasore cell. I'm okay just the way the croutons, please. Right. Heather, everybody here wants to know how's your mom? She's great. I feel like holding back so around. I know. Okay.

Here's a deal. People have very upset that my mom was on this new season of the golden bachelor uh... at the test and you have to realize robin said she would never in a million years over and i quote her dead body which you ever fight with forty other women for the attention of a man and she'd be the other way around so i think that they want her to be the back to red

then they can call her but she's out she said i would never live in a house with forty other women and then expect to get attention from this man. Makes sense. Man total sense. Did you watch the golden bachelor? I watched bits and pieces of it and I do find it pretty funny and using because the women clearly just want to hang out with each other. Look, I don't even think they're very interested in him.

They're all like geeky in in the kitchen and they're like, look at each other. Yeah, I think at that age they just want like camaraderie and sister. They really don't give a shit about getting dick down, you know? Exactly. I read this like, you know, byline on a day, you know, Hollywood reporter or something. It's a golden bachelor is the sexiest version of the bachelor ever. Sexiest season of the bachelor ever. And I thought to myself, really,

is there like a lot of sex going on on the golden Bachelor? And I watched a few minutes of a couple episodes and I'm like, I don't think they're correct about that. At all, because you're right, it seems like the women are more interested in being with the women, which is understandable.

And I think the guy's kind of milked those. Handsome dude, very nice from what I saw, but he's kind of milked those. Yeah. I agree. I mean, Melissa, my mom went onky. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I mean, listen, my mom went on her first date, literally her first date in eight years

into my dad and passed him a night, and I spied. I was a shepherd on the stage. Oh, really? And it was a wild ride. He was a great guy that set up through mutual friends. I think she had a great time, but it was one of those things where I,

at first I was all gung ho, then I went through these different ways of emotion, because I'm like, this is my dad. My dad is dead, who is this man? And then I was back high, because my mom was at the good time. So I got home from it, and I escorted my mom home, and my husband was like, do we need to sit down and have a cocktail, just go to have a feeling.

You're feeling, because I was pushing her out the door to go do it, and then halfway through, as I was sitting at the bar at chops down in Buckhead, having a dirty martini spying, I was like, I'm going to kill this man. Right? You had some murderous rage. I bet that's a funky position to be in. But let's step back just one minute.

You went on the date with your mom or you were just like there spying, making sure everything was safe and kosher. I was spying, making sure everything was safe and kosher. I took her down and they made it to St. Regis. They had a class of wine there I took her down and they met at the same region. They had a class of wine there, then they went and had dinner at the lobster bar. Wow. Wow.

So I was just like floating around, keeping an eye out. And they ended up having a great time. But my mom laughs, she's like at that age, you got to make sure that they bring like their heart mitigation. Yeah, their digmentation. Yeah, their digmentation.

Yeah, their digmentation. Yeah, that they're not gonna die at you. Die on you at the table. True. That's true. But you got to give it to the, if he planned the date, I mean, it's a pretty stellar first date, right? You're going to meet at the St. Regis and then head over to the lobster bar.

Yes. It's a great place to go. I, my mom actually made the reservations and that's another thing. I realized we've done too much as women where we just, I mean, I kind of make made the reservations and that's another thing. I realized we've done too much as women where we just, I mean, I kind of make all the reservations in our family. And like, there's nothing more. And it's because I just get shit done.

We've already thought about it. We just do it. But I'm like, I've got to start dropping little hints to my husband. Like, you need to take care of this because it is so unadrafted when a woman has to make plans. Yeah, I don't know. I really am. I feel like, at least the way that I grew up,

shevori's not dead. You should open the door. You should offer to open the door. If someone doesn't want you to open the door from, fine, fair enough, right? But you, and I'm trying to teach my sons that, right, is that you know, open the door and be a polite gentleman and, you know,

pay for the meal. That's just what you should offer to pay for the meal and you should make the plans. But I... But as girls, you don't want to end up at Crabble Beach. Yeah, that's just what you should offer to pay for the meal and you should make the plans. But I, but as girls, you don't want to end up at crap. Yeah, that's true. You don't want to end up at crap. That is it. My husband is constantly like, well, find me reservations for creating fun with you. You all of a sudden have a wild era. You're a via Vietnamese food. And I'm like, well, Jeff, you should be able to read my fucking mind. That's what I say to Jeff

all the time to your my house. Yeah. Are you and Jeff like Astor, Jeff, you should be able to read my fucking mind. That's what I say to Jeff all the time to your house. Yeah. Are you and Jeff, like, Astor and I, are you wasting an immense amount of time trying to figure out where you're going to go? Every day. Every day. And it's our number one argument, every day. I feel like it's the non-stop argument that never stops because we have to eat three

times a day. And it's like, what do you want for dinner? Whatever you want. No, no, no, whatever you want I'm asking you. And this goes on for hours until we're both so hanging. What type of food do you want? dinner? Whatever you want. No, no, no, whatever you want I'm asking you. And this goes on for hours until we're both so hanging. Let's have the food, do you want? Just give me that. Yeah, the dominoes ends up at the front door

and we're like, fuck it, that's just the pizza. Yeah, I went up at public, spying myself eating a pub sub and the parking lot just spitting. You know, listen to a self-help podcast. And then Jeff said, where'd you go? I'm like, I am eating a foot long by myself. Yeah. Did you work in the hospitality industry? Were you like in the restaurant business?

Honey, I worked every job in every restaurant. I originally, if you know the restaurant, by Ford Fry, Dan and Buckhead, called King and Duke. I do, yeah. I worked at outside patio bar when summer before I moved to LA back in 2010, or 11 or something and that was, I made a lot of money that summer, but yes, I've worked in every restaurant

that land up there. I feel like you probably served me a drink. It was a very popular place to go for a while there. You worked in a bunch of restaurants in Atlanta, so did I, but I mean, I think we're different ages, but mostly in New York. I mean, I got me started in New York, so I worked in every fine dining. I've worked in the largest sports bar

right across the mass and square garden. Like I have slumed bread. Wow. And you know, served everybody. That is how I survived. I also did a lot of fine dining. I was section number five at Chili's in East Cobb. If you're familiar, I may have served you a margarita

without asking for identification. For that good, Shillie Con case. Oh, nothing like an awesome blossom to get you going. Yeah. Yeah. The new special, how much time did it take you to work out that material about a year? Did you, like when you're, I'm sorry.

Can I just ask a minutia question about your comedy? Is it, I was curious as I'm sorry. Can I just ask a minutiae question about your comedy? Is it? I was curious as I'm getting into your story, how different, how much work does it take to move from, you know, kind of these like short made for TV clips that you do on Instagram, and then doing a full 60 to 70 minutes on stage, like actually set up punchline, set up punchline,

set up punchline. Was that an easy transition for you? Tell me about that. Yeah, I mean, I came from stand up. That was my original background. So for me, I basically was banking material forever. So then when I got on the road, I was like, I mean, I do like a 90 minute show.

I have a ton of material. So it was, that transition was not hard, but I wanted this tour to be a real 180 from the first year. I went out because the first year was an introduction of who I am. I just lost my dad. I had gone through this traumatic experience. And so I was talking about that in a very funny cathartic way. But then I wanted this tour to be a absolute rip at the band-aid.

Now you're getting to see the inside of my marriage. I mean, I have blow-drop jokes. I'm talking about your first year of marriage. It's 180 from the bandaid. Now you're getting to see the inside of my marriage. I mean I have blow-drop jokes. I'm talking about like your first year of marriage. It's 180 from talking about my dad's funeral. Yeah. Which is what I wanted. But I like to ride on the road. So like two weeks before I'll start a new tour, I will slot myself in the basement and just you know like it'll look like an episode of Homeland. I'll try all these thoughts. Yeah, I'll keep connecting and then I do clubs and I work out the material and then we just hit the ground running.

I mean, I've probably done a hundred shows. And then we shot 90 minutes and the special only be an hour. So we'll see what makes, what then make it and what makes it. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see it either. I was blown away by the first special.

I thought it was really fucking funny. Like belly laughs. Yeah, thank you. Hurting hard. Do you like to be in on the road? When you're married, is it difficult, or is it just, is it difficult for Jeff? Is it difficult for you?

Do you guys, is that a, I honestly, I think it's why we so like each other. It's on the part. Yes, it's like you come home and you actually miss that person. The people you're on the road with will drive you nuts. You know, it's, no, I enjoy it. I will say it is gnarly. You know, I am in eight new cities a weekend.

It's really crazy. If the wear and turn your body is the wildest part. Like I threw out my back at LaGuardia in May and I had to be wheelchaired to my gate to then get on the flight to show a Pittsburgh. No, I've never been so embarrassed on my life. What happened was I was getting out of my Uber at LaGuardia and there was a K-pop band that was getting out of the Mercedes-Benz sprinter band.

And so I was freaking my net. I jumped out of the car to see who it was. Yeah, and I dropped my back. So that was my fault. That was on me. And, and you're doing more touring coming up in the new year and you're going to Australia. Australia, right? Yes, we're going to Australia. Now that the Netflix special came out, there is people in Australia asking me to come down under. So I'm very excited to go to shows

there. I've never been there. And, you know, we're hitting some other markets and going back to Florida, going back to Kentucky, going back to the West Coast. I mean, I've done a hundred shows for this past year, but we're going back to some other markets. So, you know, people are now just finding me too. And they're like, when we go to Pittsburgh, I'm like, I was just there in a wheelchair. If they want to see me with this material, they're going to have to see me in the spring, because then the special will come out some time, hopefully in the fall, and then we'll take some time off and then start a whole new door.

Yeah, that's it. First of all, I think it takes a special kind of human to travel that much, right? You have to have done it a lot, and you have to be the kind of personality that can adjust on the fly and quick. Yeah. I go out for business six times a year, I fly out for three days and I come home and I act like a big baby for two weeks I'm like, oh my god, there's so much travel in the air and sin and I'm all dry Yeah, blah blah blah. A new hotel room. I never get to see the outside. I don't get to do what I want

I just bitching complain about the travel right and but then I think about the reality when we think about live shows I think about the reality of going out for five six, eight weeks at a time and being away from my family. And I think it takes a special kind of person, like Jeff, to kind of understand it. Hey, this is part of the job, and I'm gonna be gone. But I bet in some relationships, it's a good thing. Yeah, it's like, no, it's like,

we'll take a little break. It just means that I'm not a pizzazz while he's playing golf every day. So he, you know, listen, he can come to his many shows as he wants to, and people get upset. They're like, why isn't your mom at every show? Why isn't your husband at every show? I'm like, this is work.

Yeah, I am in Cincinnati. I just drove 100 miles from Cleveland or whatever. I'm like, I'm on the road, hustling. Shaking my tits for care. Right. This is not like, you know, people think that you like go to a fine dinner before the show and you're drinking a nice glass of wine. I'm like, you know, people think that you like go to a fine dinner before the show and you're drinking a nice glass of wine. I'm like, no, no, no, we are usually eating

over a trash can, wolf and down my taco. And they're like, I got to put on a glitter student beyond stage entertainment. That was kind of my next question. It's like, do you, what are the creature comforts you have when you're on the road? Do you like to go out and have drinks after your shows? Do you like to, what do you do to kind of stay sane? Oh, mine, yeah. I know people want to hear some sexy stories. I do.

I always find like a local species and whatever city I'm in. And I like, you know, it takes all the love into something. It's not that. I put on after the show, I eat something very quickly that will then inflame my asssterishe flip. I don't, you know, I get off stage 11 o'clock by the time we eat, get back in the car, go to the hotel, you're looking at 1230. I usually shower because I sweat like cat Williams. So it's not, it's not that glamorous. If we can just sit somewhere like if we're in Chicago doing a bunch of

shows or you know in one city doing shows for a weekend, then it's fun. We get to It's not that glamorous. If we can just sit somewhere like if we're in Chicago doing a bunch of shows or in one city doing shows for a weekend, then it's fun. We get to go out and we really make a time of it. But usually we're fighting for our lives. I'm usually just like, let me hydrate and put my feet up so that the ankles quit swelling. Yeah, amen.

That's how I feel when I travel. Whenever we go somewhere, I feel like I need a day to decomp- I need a day to get back from, like a day of vacation to get back from my vacation. Because, I feel like I need a day to decomp- I need a day to get back from, like, a day of vacation to get back from my vacation. Because I always feel like traveling just wears me the fuck out. And it's not like I'm some 90-year-old man.

I'm, you know, I'm in the prime of my life, Chrissy. And I don't understand why I get so dehydrated every time I get on to the airplay. The dehydration, that's crazy. What happens when you get in your 30s? If there's weekends where I don't even drink, because I'm working, and I'm like, why my body, my hands feel brittle, and I'm like, my magnesium working. And I'm like, my body, my hands feel brittle

and I'm like, my magnesium's low. I'm like, how do we get here? You know? My magnesium's low. What are some of the bad TV shows you watch? I'm so interested in this. Ooh, how's that all? Oh, so I'm locked alone into the house.

Yeah, me too. And I don't think people realize like when you become obsessed with the house lights, it's because I need to feel better about my life. Absolutely, that is what I'm locked alone in the house. Yeah, me too. And I don't think people realize like when you become obsessed with the house lights, it's because I need to feel better about my life. Absolutely, that is what I was like. I like to walk. Yeah. They don't get it.

They don't get it. I'm like, okay, and you know, I love the husbands who also are like, oh, the house lights are so stupid, so vapid, so shallow. And then I notice that my husband will be sitting like on a chair behind me, and he'll be locked in for like two hours I'm like okay, I

Protest about the bachelor series all the time at like a bachelor love island or whatever it is right and then Every time I walk into that room and answered is watching one of those shows. I get locked in for at least 30 minutes I'm like god damn this is funny. It's unintentionally Intentionally funny and I just find myself captivated by all the drama. Of course I spend my days and nights watching TLC. Fuck every other television. Let me tell you what, TLC 90 Day Theon say, my favorite is the 600-pound sisters.

I'm a Tammy, I'm a team Tammy. I'm team Tammy too. And I'll tell you what, when I'm having a bad day, I turn to my best friend, Ryan, I go, I want some sodies. That's like my catcher. I just want a sodie right now, and he's like, let's get you a sodie. Yeah, it's trash TV and I'm obsessed with that. Heather, my favorite line in that entire series

is the very first opening scene of the first episode of the first season when they're sitting around that table with all that junk food and they're drinking soda, diet coke right out of the bottle. And how the, damn, he's like, mama always told us, we have to drink diet coke to balance out all the calories that we're having. And I thought to myself,

you're gonna have to drink a lot of diet coke. It's good to be a lot of diet coke. That's how my brain works. That's the grow map I also do. Yeah, so I get it. I've been known to drive through crispy cream and get some hot glaze. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we came out of the studio the other day.

My wife had bought us crispy cream. We were so excited. I know. It's like, you've been so good. A warm crispy cream. Okay, we have a producer here. Her name is Christina. She is like, fan girl upon fan girl. She was, a warm, crispy cream. Okay, we have a producer here.

Her name is Christina. She is like, fan girl upon fan girl. She was so excited when she heard you were coming on the show. So she dropped a question. I'm gonna play it for you. And then is that okay? Can I play it for you?

Because Tina needs the tea. So let's get, all right, here we go. My number one question. I've been thinking about this for decades, just getting it for only a few years. Are you still using the Elf eyebrow pencil? Because I bought it because of you like four years ago, and I still use them and I'm obsessed with them.

And my eyebrows thank you because good brows, good mood, good day. As a mug says, then my mom bought me for my birthday one time. So yeah, I just wanna know if you're still using that. If not, put me onto another product, babe. I trust you with my life. So people think sometimes that I'm an influencer, I am not an influencer, I'm just a comedian with really great taste.

And even though I'm a new money bitch and I started making money, I still have like, I'm an old baby girl, I'm a Maxineista. They're all by one nice bag of year, but let me tell you, this Elf eyebrow pencil, it is literally, I think, like a dollar with inflation and maybe like a dollar 49 now. It is the best eyebrow pencil you'll ever use.

I use it today and it is probably on the slip space. You can buy it at CVS Target. Yeah, it's a dollar and it is, that's all I use. Nice. So the answer is yes, Christina, you're onto the right thing. You still backs up that Elf pencil for $1.49 with inflation. I mean, I'm sure eventually it's got to be

chocolate chemicals and my eyebrows will fall off. But in the meantime, if it don't broke, if it's not broke, don't fix it. How do you feel about the new trend? We're at Christine and I were just talking about this and I was like, we need to ask her. You were on Game Day, ESPN Game Day, and then a bunch of Yahoo's on the internet

are talking about how's it look coming outside. Yeah, you're nipples, right? And so Chrissy and I were talking about, now people are paying to buy clothing that have nipples already, like pointy nipples already attached to them from skims. And I, I mean, I guess like if that's what you wanna do, cool. Here's the thing.

I feel like she's a genius kid for her. Amen. Great, but now the gig is up, right? Like now, it shouldn't be like a low key like where she just emailed people with that listen. You want fake hard nips because now everybody's gonna think that you know, you got the skims brought. I mean smart, but no, I got pretty, I got roasted.

I was standing outside on college game day being interviewed in the cold rain two Saturdays ago and I was jumped on there. I did like a 60-second little break, by the way. I was so sweet, but I'll tell you what, it is wild being opening up to that new genre of like 23 year old Fred dad is your like why is this bitch talking about sports like I am not a

sports analysis I am just a comedian who went to Ole Miss they asked me to come say two words and my nipples happen to be hard. Yeah. Oh crazy. 23 year old Fred boys your new new genre, that's you, that's your demographic now 23 year old. Honestly, I can't wait to bring them into the fold. I always tell single guys,

you know, I do have a lot of women at my shows and I have a lot of dudes too, but I always say if you're a single guy and you're trying to get laid, come to my shows. Because if you show up and you're personable and you're buying a, you know, it's so easy to buy a girl or, you know, a white claw in line before the show, you will get late.

It is not that hard. I agree, Heather. 1,000%. I feel like we already know each other. You come from similar backgrounds. We have similar senses of humor. Your Netflix special that's currently available just came out is so fucking funny.

You have to go check it out, listener, please go check it out. Her podcast is absolutely hilarious. It's a one-woman show and I promise you, no matter whether you have a penis or not, you're going to enjoy her comedy. It's really fucking funny. It reaches, it just reaches down deep and I don't think you put anything,

you don't hold your cards to don't think you put anything. You don't hold your cards to the vest, you put everything on the table, and that makes it super authentic. And that is the funniest kind of funny. It's when it comes from a place of authenticity and a little bit of love. We really appreciate you coming on today. You're a comedian, you're a co-host of the Today Show, you're a wonderful wife, you're living with your mother and I, God bless you,

child. I hope that never happens to me. How to unrupple. And my nipples are hard. And nipples are hard. And she's got great nips. But I'd also like to add to that and say a friend of the commercial break. Heather, you've been wonderful and I hope we can have you on again soon. Come back after you get done with Australia and tell us about all the things that didn't kill you

i will i think you're having me and i cannot wait to come back and i will hopefully i'm sad i just found out that you can't really hug the callos because i was committed to that i'm already like really i think they will attack you too i read somewhere like they're not all that safe to touch. They look cute, but they're really strong and dangerous. Yeah, so if I don't make it back, just know I was choked out by a call.

OK. We'll be sad if you don't. We love you, Heather. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving. I really appreciate it.

Happy Thanksgiving. Let's cut to the chase. We love you, and we want to hear your sweet and jealous voices asking us for advice. So give us a call and leave us a voice mail at 626-ask-TCB3. If you're not ready for that kind of commitment, which I understand, send us a text instead at 855-TCB-8383. And as always, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.

And this wouldn't be a TCB promo if I didn't tell you to go to our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch all of our amazing video edits. You can also go to TCBpodcast.com to find everything we have ever put on the website. Let's listen to some sponsors and then we are back on track, baby. Love you, bye! Hey everybody, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part? By Factor. Okay, do you want to know what the single biggest challenge for me as a single person was?

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Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay. Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off. What's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings I know in fact it's in the script when you save more you can do more for daily door crashing deals

visit your local travel agent or oh man what an interview with head I love Heather. I feel like Heather's a friend of ours. Do you feel like whenever we're talking to like semi-famous people out there in the world or here on the show that like they, you have this dream that they're gonna be your friend somehow, some shape, some shape or form. I feel like I wanna be Heather's friend. Absolutely.

She does remind me of you for some reason. The second that I started seeing her shit. I did compliment. The second I started seeing her shit, like her personality reminded me of you for some reason. The second that I started seeing her shit. I did compliment. The second I started seeing her shit, like her personality reminded me of you. Her sensibilities, like her sense of humor. It reminded me of you. You have a lot in common.

You guys do have a lot in common. You guys should be best friends. Can you be best friends? I would love to. So then we can give the show some credibility. Like I feel like if we show up on a red carpet or two. Yeah, it's possible. Next time you're on today, we should have asked her, but we didn't.

Well, we got to build up some credibility in the bank with Heather, but I feel like next time Heather is on the today show, we they should do some profile on us, right? Pro files encourage with the commercial break. Cut to us. And there's a rocket ship to the moon on Spardom, and then there's the commercial break. Where did they go wrong? Still looking for their big break,

6,012 episodes in. What can you do? It happens differently for everybody. Yeah. Some of them never have it for. I'm so proud of her. Yeah. And you get the sense that her dad would have been proud of her,

too, after he passed away. And now her mom's living with her. So she's watching all this. I love that her mom's out on a date. Yeah, I love that her mom's out on a date. Yeah, that's the world again. Did I tell you the time? I get to bring in my mom on soon.

And we got to have my mom tell this story about the first guy that she dated after she divorced my father he was a little person. He was a little person and they showed up at my chiles for their first date. So you can imagine the surprise on my face. I mean I felt all the ways Heather did but I was working at the restaurant where they were having dinner and it was a fucking chile. I mean for God's sakes. I felt like, come on man, you're going to take her somewhere else besides the place

where her sun works and the food is really crappy. Good, you're not. Good, you're not. All right, tcbpodcast.com. All of Heather's information will be up there. All the links for her tour, Heather on tour.com at Heather McCann Instagram and absolutely not the podcast the super funny podcast available on all podcast players just like us. You can also go to tcbpodcast.com to get your free pipe piggy-fronting sticker hit the contact us button drop

down menu says I want my free sticker give us your physical address tell us if you want us to sign it or say something or whatever we'll be happy to do that. And then we'll send it off over the next couple of weeks. 626, as Tcb, the number three, that's 1626, ask Tcb, the number three, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. You want to ask one of our guests a question, maybe we'll have them back on,

you can drop that in there, I'll save it in a file, so that next time, if they ever agreed to come back back to the commercial break, we'll ask it again. Ask Brian's mom, ask Tcb for advice, you know how it all goes. Text us at that Hotline 626, ask Tcb the number three, or you can leave us a voice mail if you have real courage, profile encourage, and we might use your voice on the show. At the commercial break on Instagram, Tcb podcast on TikTok. And if you would please, youtube.com slash the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. And if you would please, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Don't forget December 5th,

the TCB audio scavenger hunt, win a thousand dollars. We're so excited about this December 5th, episodes 300-350. That's where you get your clues. Okay, Chrissy, I think it's been a rather eventful day. I think it has. So I'll tell you that I love you. I think it's been a rather eventful day. I think it has. So I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you. I'll say best to you. I'm best to you. And I'll tell you best to you out there on the podcast universe. Thanks for supporting us, the best listeners, in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we do say,

and we must say goodbye. Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on. I think we got the wrong script Yeah, it's 40% off. What's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals. Yes. Why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know in fact it's in the script when you save more You can do more for daily door deals, visit your local travel agent, or... I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it!

I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Okay Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue?

40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know. In fact, it's in the script. When you save more, you can do more. For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or...