The Commercial Break - The Art Of The Steal!

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

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On this episode of the commercial break. You have that Saudi plane now. Why don't you take that Saudi plane and go to Saudi Arabia, where they seem to really like you? Build some golf courses, do a couple more towers, shitty hotels and bad restaurants and steaks and Trump phones. Oh, Trump phones are coming out. Do you know about this? Like actual phones or like, no, like a carrier? No.

So Don Trump and Don Trump Jr. and Eric Jr., three of the brightest minds in business, I mean, I swear to God, if there's people, if there's some people on Earth that are at worse at business than I am, it's those three human beings. And that is saying a lot, because I'm pretty bad at business. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No 30 in the morning!

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show. Chris and Joy Haudley, best to you, Chris. Best to you out there on the podcast, University. You know, I was just checking on my pool to make sure everything was satisfactory back there. Yes, how is that looking?

Well, it looks beautiful because the professionals are now on the job. Right. I'm no longer trying to manage this fucking mud hole by myself. I've got other people doing the job for me. They're competent. I don't know where they get their knowledge from. They're well-trained from the magic land of the pool. Pool school? They went to pool school. I did not. They're doing a great job. Chemicals seam in order.

I threw the kids in there the other day. Besides them turning blue and shivering instantaneously, they didn't seem to get it. You know, skin didn't melt off or anything. So I guess I didn't fuck it up too bad. No. Yeah, it only took a couple visits. And that guy had that pool whipped into shape. I'll tell you what. No algae, no bloom. No weird color. No extra blue. No dark green. Somewhere right in the middle. I like to call it American Flag Blue. That's what it is right now. American Flagg. blue. And when I think about my pool and I think about how bad I have messed it up over the years time and time again, I think to myself, well, at least I'm not fucking it up as bad as Donald Trump is fucking up the reflecting pool, the reflection pool upon whatever it is over there in our capital, our lovely capital. I just don't understand for the life of me. I don't want to dunk on Trump. You know, I don't want to make this. Yeah, I do want to dunk on Trump for a second,

actually. Why are we so obsessed with remaking everything in our image, in our mind, and our likeness? Why are we so obsessed with the never-ending vanity projects and not on everything else that's going on in the world that you started that now we can't unfuck? It's unbelievable. And this pool seems to be a particular interest to Trump. Now, for those of you that do not know, I will explain a very quickly. very briefly what's going. I mean, you have to have your head in a hole not to understand what's going on. Trump decided the reflection pool was put in a long time ago. And here's how it worked. It was attached to the tidal estuaries. And so what would happen is the water would flush in and

out as the estuaries as the tide raised. Oh, I didn't even realize that. Yeah, it was pretty ingenious design, actually. I read all about it a couple nights ago. And so what would happen is constant fresh water would be poured into there. However, because that water is not the water that goes into my pool when my pool guy cleans it, it would get algae. And that algae would bloom time and time again. And it was a real mucky mess. And so in 19, or excuse me, in 2010, they went in and they redid the whole system. Still bringing water from the estuary, but now they had like a system of pumps and stuff where they could try and manage it. Yes. And then. And then once a year, for a week, they would close it down, they would empty it, they would kill the algae.

And they apparently also, there was a lot of, like, geese poop. It was, like, full of geese poop, like hundreds of thousands of pounds of geese poop. Yeah. And they would have to go in and, you know, un-poop it. Those geese do poop a lot. They do. Yeah. That's gross.

Remember we used to go golfing at that, what was that Cross Creek? Yes. That little short course, the executive course. executive, of course, that also had the clubhouse where they played Kino. That's right. You could drink and play Kno. Every Buckhead Betty over the age of 70 would find themselves at 9 o'clock in the morning, the Cross Creek Country Club Bar. Including us.

Including us. We decided we're not there yet, but if we could be the youngest people in the room, it makes us feel better about ourselves. So we would go to the Cross Creek Bar. And I'll tell you what, there's a lot of different scenes in Atlanta. The Cross Creek Bar is one of them. It's for sure a vibe. If you go there, if you've been there, you know. If you haven't, it's a little out of the way.

Right smack dab in the richest part of Atlanta is this old condo slash apartment complex called Cross Creek. And they must have 100 acres of land right in the middle of the most Ponzi part of Atlanta. And they have a golf course that makes no money that's full of geese shit. That's a lot of fun to play. But let's be honest about it. It's not Augusta National. It's pretty shitty, actually. No, it's 18.

No, I thought that was. Oh, it's, it's 12 holes, actually. So you're right. It's not 18, it's 12 holes. So you can play it different ways and get your nine holes in. But then they have like a building that's attacked, like a country clubhouse. Yeah, clubhouse. But it's very small.

Yes. And downstairs you pay your $5 to get on the executive course. And you have to walk. There's no golf carts or anything. You have to walk. And then upstairs, there is like a dining room, a restaurant. There's a restaurant. And if you ever had dinner at Cross Creek, then you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, we didn't eat there too much. I did a couple times, actually. It was a measure of last resort, but I still decided sometimes to go there and eat. Yeah, it's like frozen stuff. Yeah, yeah. They put it in the friar or the microwave or whatever. But, you know, the ladies there are nice. They're in their 90s.

They'll serve you food. But then they have a very small bar. It's just like a rectangle bar with a few bar tables around it. You can overlook the golf course. And at any time, day or night, that place would be open to like three in the morning. It opened at 9 a.m. Anytime day or night, there'd be 12 or 13. Hard core alcoholics in their 70s, just sitting there playing Kino, watching golf,

and this was their life. This is what they did. It was like the golden girls only with a lot of booze and a shitty golf course outside the window. Yeah. It was their social scene. It really was. We should go there one time. Just because we're closer to the age of belonging there now.

It's 20 years later. We should revisit. Yes. So the geese poop in this reflection pond pool was really bad. And so once a year they would close it down. Now, Trump claims that many, many presidents have tried to fix this. And he's the only one who could do it because he had three of the best pool guys in the world. that he knows very closely, they're very bigly, he knows them.

Bigly! That he had them go and bid on a contract to clean it and paint it American flag blue. There's only one problem with it. That blue is not American flag blue. It's the same color as my pool, the pebble tech in my pool, which is a seafone blue. I mean, it's really, and not a seafone is green, actually. It's just like a bright blue. think of the bluest blue ocean, Turks and Kakos, wherever you imagine yourself when you see the bluest blue ocean, the clearest of waters.

That's the kind of blue that's being painted on there. And now there's only a couple of other problems with this whole thing. Number one, Donald Trump declared an emergency so that he could give this contract to his friends in a no-bid process. Whenever you do something to the government, you have to have at least three bids. They have to be blind bids. They can't be your buddies. They can't be your friends. I mean, if there's any loophole, he finds it.

It's not, he finds it and then he enriches himself and the people around him. Yeah. I wouldn't be, I wouldn't doubt that these people, that he's like half owner of these pool businesses. What happened was he picked one that was his friend. They have never worked on a pool, it turns out. They don't even do pools. They don't even paint. They don't even do any of this.

Oh my God. But he gave them the job and he said it was going to cost a million point three dollars. And now it's at $14 million and going up. You want to know why? because as it turns out, these guys aren't very good at doing pools. And so they have mismatched the colors. Like, it's a big thing. Sure.

It's a big, huge, if you're going to call it a pool, it's the world's largest pool. And they're trying to spray this pebble tech on it, this pool, this pool paint on it. And they're not matching the color. So one square, you know, like one half acre is one color, and then the next half acre is another blue. And then the third half acre. So there are cracks. The cement is already. cracking, the paint is already chipping, the blue is not blue. It's like a total fucking disaster.

And it is just a vanity project that no one in their right mind would ask for in 20206. Right, not with everything happening. God. And I hate to be, I hate to be, you know, that guy. But I'm just going to point out that the reflection pool is named reflection pool because in the darkness of that still water, it would reflect. the monuments around it. Lincoln and the Washington monument, it would reflect those things. When it's colored child, when it's colored Play-Doh blue, it's not going to reflect shit. Do you understand? You understand what I'm saying? It's no longer a reflection pond. Now, it is actually a pool. And by the way, I don't think it stops there. In my opinion, Trump's going to see this blue and he's going to imagine.

this is a resort and he's going to start putting beach chairs out next to it and then selling time shares and chopping up the park over there and selling time shares. Oh, yeah. He is such a fucking nudnik. I swear to God, of all the things to be concerned about right now, be concerned about the Strait of Hormuz. That's what you need to be concerned about. Pretty please and fucking thank you.

Can we get that? Can we fix that problem? Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. There's so many problems just in the U.S. I mean, it's so many other problems besides this. But we're building golden arches. Yeah. We're building ballrooms.

Ballrooms that no one asked for, even though he claims every president has asked for it. What? Oh, by the way, my favorite part about this reflection pool is there are at least, I saw this on one of the news channels yesterday. They put together like a little montage. montage of Trump talking about his pool guy, his pool guy. I picked my pool guy. I called my pool guy, my pool guy. Well, now it's turning into a real fucking nightmare.

And yesterday he gave a quote, I think to the Washington Times, where he said, I don't know who's doing the pool. Had nothing to do with me. I didn't choose them. It's like he can't even keep his own bullshit straight. It's just unbelievable how he can never be wrong. This guy is going to derail the entire world if something, something drastic doesn't have. soon and I don't mean anything bad to Trump. I mean, someone's got to step in there and say, hey, dude, you're not well. Let's get you, let's, you have that Saudi plane now.

Once you take that Saudi plane and go to Saudi Arabia where they seem to really like you. Build some golf courses, do a couple more towers, a shitty hotels and bad restaurants and steaks and Trump phones. Oh, Trump phones are coming out. Do you know about this? Like actual phones or like, no, like the, like a carrier. No. So, uh, Don Trump and Don Trump Jr. and Eric Jr., three of the brightest minds in business. I mean, I swear to God, if there's people, if there's some people on Earth that are at worse at business than I am, it's those three human beings. And that is saying a lot, because I'm pretty bad at business. Don, Don, Don Trump Jr. and Eric Jr. decided when they got into office, they were going to have the Trump Gold Phone with Trump Gold Phone Service, made 100% in the United States of America, a smartphone, Made by them. Remember this? Okay.

Turns out it's not made in America. Nope. Turns out it's not real gold. Turns out that even if you paid $400 deposit to get your gold phone last October, it's just starting to, they're just telling you now that you might get one in the next couple of weeks. And people are pissed. Like Trump supporters are pissed all over the world. They're like, I play it for that Trump phone. Well, you're the fucking moron that paid for a Trump phone.

You ever heard about Trump stakes or Trump real estate classes, Trump hotels, Trump hotels, Trump casinos, Trump fucking everything. Everything he touches turns to dirt. That's it. It's except for his own pocketbook. And you got to give him that. He finds a way. He finds a way to make himself more rich. Oh, yeah, all the time. What are we going to do? Vote. Yeah. At least that makes me feel better. If they allow it. Yeah. If they allow it. That's the other thing, if they allow it. And that's the other thing that makes me really nervous is that Trump is so incredibly unintelligent in so many ways. And he's so full of shit. in so many ways. But the problem is the challenge we have with Trump 2.0 is that there are a lot of people around him who aren't dumb and they are sycophants for power. That's what they want. They want to be close to power and they're willing to use Trump. Trump is a useful idiot to a lot of people. Oh, yeah. And so when they say something, he agrees and then they tell him what to do and he does it, right? So if you think that this is like Trump playing 4D chess, this is Trump being a puppet. a lot of other people who have a lot of money and a lot of wealth and a lot to lose if, you know,

the other party gets into power or if certain things happen or the Epstein files get out or whatever it is. So they keep telling Trump the next move and Trump does it because let's be honest, Trump is asleep most of the time, literally asleep. Do you see him the other day, sleeping at that meeting? Yes. I mean, this has happened like 12 times. Oh, well, yeah. He was asleep at the meeting. And then somebody asked them about it. And he said, I was blinking. And it's like, you were blinking for 17. minutes during a meeting you had one long 17 minute blink a fucking moron anyway i just the scary part is there are teeth to this particular administration and uh the way that they're the way that they're just eviscerating uh voting rights in this country is really scary and very sad and um we'll see we'll see what

happens i was hopeful there for a minute listen i'm no bleeding heart liberal i don't yeah i don't love everything the Democrats are about. No. I consider myself pretty, I'm a pragmatic, pragmatist, is really what I am. And I'd rather see like a true, independent middle of the road, you know, center left, center right type of candidate, but they don't exist because you've got to get clicks these days. And so you got to yell and scream about this or yell a scream about that. So it's either, let's let's, let's have a world with no police officers, sounds like a great idea, or let's, you know, all bow and kneel to the insignia that is Donald Trump and his goal. golden name. It's one of those two things. And there are people that are in the middle,

but they don't seem to stand a fighting chance most of the time, certainly not for president. And that's kind of what sucks. Anyway, my pool's blue, in case you're wondering. Your pool's healthy. Good. Yeah. My pool is healthy. It's good. The kids have been swimming in it. And, you know, so I feel, and no one's dead yet. So I'm feeling great about the pool, thanks to the pool. Have you been in the pool yet? Fuck, no. Are you kidding me? No, it's been too cold, right? At night. Kids beg me. They beg me to come in the pool. Yeah, because you're a kid. And, I mean, that's just the most exciting thing in the world. It is the most exciting thing. And you don't care. You don't care if you're just freezing cold, shivering. The other day, one of my daughters was just her teeth or literally chattering. I could hear them. She's like, I'm fine, Daddy. I'm fine. And I'm like, when your lips start turning blue, that's my rule. When your lips are your fingers start turning blue, you got to get out and get in the hot shower. And you would be surprised how many times that's actually happened. At first, I thought my kid was dying. Now I just, know it's just a small case of hypothermia. And I could fix it with a hot shower.

It's amazing what you learn as you go on with those kids. That's true. You know, one of my kids just graduated from kindergarten today. Yes, congratulations. Thank you. And it's very cute. But all of these little year-end things or the first day of school or whatever, then all the other moments come flooding in, the day you took her home from the hospital, the day you got, you dropped her off for the first day of school, the day that she said her first word, all that stuff. starts flooding into my mind. But what flooded into my mind today was all those things. But then, wow, have we learned so much since my first child graduated from kindergarten? And what do I mean by that? I mean, yes, it's a graduation, but I don't have to get dressed up in a suit and tie because

they're not going to know and no one's going to care. Yes, it's a graduation and we should be excited, but it's a kindergarten graduation. We can't go over the top with presents and gifts. Yes, it's a kindergarten. It's a graduation, but it's a kindergarten. garden graduation. I don't need to be there two and a half hours early, but you'd be surprised how many parents are. Well, you said that. Oh my God. You were there 30 minutes early and it was packed. Astrid's texting me and she's like, where are you? And I'm like, you told me to be there at 9-10. And it was 840 or 8.50. Yeah. And Blue had decided to take an adventure in the neighborhood this morning. So I was chasing her around in my boxers, like in the third neighborhood neighbor over.

I swear to God, I'm going to get arrested one day because my neighbors think I'm pervert. Sometimes, like, I'll let blue outside, but I have a deck. And sometimes we close that deck door because of the pool. We don't want to, if we think the kids are going to be out there, we close it, we lock it so the kids can't get down with the pool. That's smart. But occasionally that happens, and I forget to open it back up at night. So when I let blue out in the morning, I'll eventually hear her barking because she's either going to shit on the porch or I got to let her out by going and opening that gate. But you don't know how many times I've been out in that back porch in my skivie.

and sometimes just holding my dick. Just run out there and hold my dick. And I know that one of these days someone's going to call the cops on me. Anyway, today I was out in the neighbor's yard in my boxers. And I'm like, got over here. Flu green.

Flu green. Yeah. And she's in like these bushes and she's just like stick her head out and be like, and then back in the bushes, I can hear her. I don't know what she's chasing. She's probably eating a dead animal.

Oh, I'm sure. It's rolling around in her own shit. I'm like, I'll get over here right now, Blue Green. Here I am in my box, my briefs. I'm going over here right now, Blue Green. I just fucking, fuck, I'll fucking kill you. So I'll put you a little behind. Yeah.

There's two things that are going to happen. Either number one, I'm going to get arrested because I'm outside holding my dick. Or number two, I'm going to get arrested for, we think he's an animal abuser. Right. Because never has a good word about Blue come out of my mouth outside of this house. I've never said like, good girl, Blue, great job. I'm always like, get the fuck over here. I'm going to fucking kill you.

I'm going to wring your little neck. Today we're driving down the road. I got my youngest in the car. And there's like a lady, and I swear, driving 15 miles per hour on a 35 mile per hour street. And every time she went up a hill, she couldn't. find the accelerator. She slowed down even further. You know. And I know, I'm sure she was older. I'm sure she was. But there's 52 cars behind me. Right now, she's got a whole traffic jam going on. And I'm the one right behind her. And so I hit the horn. I'm like, and I go, come on, lady, drive like that.

My youngest is like, come on, lady, drive. I was like, I got to watch myself. I got to watch myself. Anyway, so I get there I'm like, hey, baby, you told me to be there at 9-10? She's like, I know, but the place is already full And I'm like, what do you want me to do? And so she, like, put bags down to hold chairs. But, you know, it's just like bad form altogether. I feel bad about it, but fuck it.

I've had kids there for the last 32 years. I don't care anymore. I'm like, I don't care anymore. Yeah, no. I get there. I have a seat for you. Yes, of course. She works there, by the way, too.

So it's like, don't give me any fucking bullshit. I know all these parents. I know all the teachers. I love all of them to death. But don't give me any bullshit. I don't want to hear it. I've been doing, I've been here literally six or seven years in a row. And so I've earned my right.

I've paid my right to sit there, yes. But then when I got there, I had to park a half a mile away, and I walk up, and I'm all sweaty and weird. I'm like, and I walk in, and it's like they're just getting started, and the three chairs is right in the front. And Astrid's pointing. She's like right there, and I'm like, eh. You pass everybody.

I know. I'm walking in the front while the principal's on the microphone. I'm like, excuse me. Excuse me. Those are my seats. And I just got that, like, it was a guy sitting next to me. And he was like, like, he was shaking as I was walking in. Fuck you.

Well, it's hard. I mean, it's hard for everybody to get there at that exact time in the morning, too. It is. And it turns into a bit, it's like a race to the bottom a little bit. Everyone gets all crazed, right? They're like, I got to get a parking. I got a guy. My one-year-old is going to do the hokey-pokey. What am I going to do? You should have seen it last year. I mean, I swear to God, these kids are doing the fucking hokey-pokey. Half of them stand there. The other half are shitting themselves. I saw one kid like had his hand in his diaper and he goes, Mommy. I was like, oh, Lord. But my kids have been there too. I know. I know. I know.

But, and I also get that when you're one parent, your first kid or whatever, that there's a certain bit of like gravitas that you put to these things because you want to remember them and you want them to be special. And I get it by your eighth kid. Right. And your 10th year at a particular school, you're like, I don't give a shit if you're pissed at me. I've earned my right. I've been here long enough. Yeah. Literally. And my kid is graduating. So there you go. Your little one year old is going to be back here next year. Them snotting on themselves. staring. Oh my God, my kids get into the hokey pack. I have to be there. Them, you taking a video of them standing there like a deer in the headlights, I promise it's not going to be the crowning achievement that you think it is. Right.

My kids did the same thing. Never once have I gone back and looked at it. Why? Because they're standing there like a deer in the headlights. There's nothing to see here. Not a thing. Unless you really want to hear the hokey-pokey, on a picture of your kid, find a nice picture, and make a little movie out of it.

That's what it's all about. But it's in Spanish. All right. So there you go. All right. Let's take a short break. And then we'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel.

Your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcast. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-TCB.

That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Oh, my God. I belong to all these like, you know, Disney groups, Disney. Oh, yeah, you have. On my Facebook. I joined a long time ago. Like, you know, Facebook a long time. I didn't have the Facebook app on my phone. I just will put it in my browser on occasion and jump in there and see what's going on. which is what I did yesterday and happened to see that that was right as I said we're going to Costa Rica tomorrow I know that's crazy how did that all happen did you come over and pick me up or I pick you up or I don't remember Danny drove us to the airport oh Danny drove us to the oh so you you probably spent the night of my house and we jumped in Danny's car and then we went down to Costa Rica and then the first thing that we did

it wasn't one I'd to talk about but we'll go down this road for a second the first We fly, it's three and a half hours, I think it's not a bad flight. No. You get there, you get, and then Raphael was waiting for us with a driver because Raphael lived in Monteverde, which is, which is, there's a long time to get there. Four and a half hours. Right. But Monta Verde is not a small, tiny little city, but it's also not a big city. It's a mountain city, but there's a lot of ecotourism that goes on around there.

There's a University of Georgia Environmental School. It has a campus there where they send some students every year. It's the rainforest. It's the rainforest. It's a true rainforest. You're up at the cloud forest, is what they call it, right? So it's in the mountains. And Raphael lived on a mountain outside of Monteverde.

So he lived, like, he was really remote. I mean, this was not like right around the corner from anything. It was a 20 minute drive just to go down the hill to go into town, 20, 30 minute drive. So Raphael picked us up because, you know, how would fuck were we going to get up there? He's not like you just hate, I guess you could hail a cab, but then you're going to be in the back of a cab for four and a half hours. So Raphael shows up in this like minibus, like minivan. And with a driver and we're like, awesome, you know, and he shows that we're at the airport, great. And the first thing that we do, the first thing, as soon as we get outside the airport,

is pull over into a gas station to buy beer and cigarettes. And wow, it was the four and a half hour adventure of a lifetime, as all we did was drink, smoke, and stop every 30 minutes for Raphael to pee. Yeah, that's right. That picture right there is when we stopped to pee. I had that blown up for you. And we had a great time. That was a great time.

It was a lot of fun. You were there for a week, I think. I was there for a number of weeks. Yeah, we did all the adventure stuff. Ziplining. That zip lining, and I've done ziplining since then, that zip line was really one of the best. It's one of the world's highest and longest. Yeah, you are, that's a pipline. I'm terrified, terrified of heights, but I did good. I was like, okay, I'm just going to do it, whatever. You know, I think I was drunk, so that helped, too. I don't think we sobered up the entire trip. So I was like, okay, let's just go. And we drove there, and then we walked from, you know, you'd zip down one, and then they'd have you. It was like 13 or

14, I remember. Growing, increasing in length and height as we went along until finally you were just over a valley between two mountains. And it was, I don't know. I forget what it was. But it must have been a good minute and a half long zip. I mean, you were just, and you were so fucking high up. Oh, yeah. I remember my stomach muscles hurt too because you're, you know, you're kind of holding your legs.

Yeah, you got to hold yourself up. Yeah, you got to hold your legs up and God forbid you touch the fucking zip line. I mean, that trip is a ton of fun. Costa Rica is one of the most beautiful places. It really is. I've been back since and gorgeous. They have no standing army. So they are really like kind of a neutral country.

And here's what I always say about Costa Rica. Now, I've been there a bunch of time. Probably spent a collective six or seven months there in my life. And I've been down to the beach resorts towns. I've stayed at nice hotels. I've stayed at shitty condominiums. I've stayed at Raphael and I, rented that same trip, I think.

Was that around? No, I went back later on that year, and I went for Thanksgiving, and for 10 days we rented a beach house and like a beach community near Hakko. And I'm telling you what, we went to the pool every day. We had, we got a red snapper and cooked it for Thanksgiving dinner. And it was one of the best Thanksgiving dinners I've ever had. But I've been all around that country. And I'll share this with you.

You know, because a lot of people talk to me about this when they find out there's some loose connection to Costa Rica. They say, oh, I've always wanted to go down there and get a house. And I see a lot of people go down there. Yes, they do. But if you're expecting that Costa Rica is going to be this place where you're going to go down and your dollar's going to go very far, it's going to go about as far as it does here. Yeah, that's true. Because the Costa Ricans understand one thing, the value of what they have. And it may not be much in a lot of cases, but they understand it.

No, it really is a tiny country. It is, but it's a beautiful country and they keep it that way and they're hell bent on keeping it that way. And I remember one of the first times I went down there after Raphael moved, we were driving out of the airport and we were getting kind of on the outskirts of San Jose. And I was just staring out the window and I was seeing all these like little shacks, right? Some of them don't even have doors on them. They're like houses without doors. But I just noticed how many of these women or men were like sweeping off their front. front porches because there's a lot of dirt roads there. So it could be very dusty, you know,

a lot of dirt. And it would collect on front porches and patios. I just remember noticing how many people were sweeping. It was the thing that I noticed. I picked up a pattern. And I said, wow, there's a lot of people sweeping. And he said, Brian, these people here, they don't have shit, but they know the value of what they have. And they take care of it. Yeah, there's a lot of pride in what goes on. Costa Rica is a beautiful country with beautiful people. Oh, absolutely. stuff. But don't expect to go down there and just start grabbing beach land for a dollar because that's not going to happen. No, it's not. No. Ask Raphael. They bought some property down there. Plus, there's Costa Rica is lined with bad real estate developers on the beach and the beach fronts. Yeah, there's a bunch of like Americans who went down there to try and build, you know, developments and towers. Serve resorts. Yeah. And they're all empty and shitty and dilapidated because they didn't do it the right. Yoga retreats. That's a big one.

Yeah. It's fucking boofo. I'm going to smoke the frog and smoke the total buffo. Come to my spiritual bufo retreat in a tent in the cloud forest for $3,600 a day. You'll be served three meals a day. Three smoothies. Three smoothies that I make from local produce I steal. Bananas and mango.

Yes. Every day, all day. Fresh bananas and mangoes. But we'll be smoking buffo until we can't see straight. It's a mind-altering, life-changing experience. Wear a miniskirt. Right.

And a bikini towel. Yeah, wear a bikini. The sexier the better. I'm all horny when I'm buffowed out. When I'm boofed, I love to watch girls in bikinis. Oh, me too, look great. Can I touch this? With like a little Buddhist statue.

Yes. Part of your spiritual journey is to show me your tits. Let's smoke some buffo. Yeah, that's how it is. But it's like there's coastlines that are littered with these empty projects that never went anywhere because, you know, these Americans go down there and they go, oh, yeah, simple. You know, I do what I do there. And I just do it here. And I do it for cheaper.

And I do it better. And who doesn't want to live on the beach? But there's a difference. And that is you're in fucking Costa Rica. Yeah. It's not like there's, in some cases, lack of skilled labor on these kind of building techniques. Like, you know, you want to build a big commercial condominium building on a beach. There's a lot to be considered if you want it to be safe and functioning.

And there's a lot of, there's a lack of knowledge about that in some cases. You know, this is like these are, this is where the real world starts to come into play. Labor, uh, materials. It's all more expensive, harder to get. Yeah. And then you've got to go through the. permit process of all the stuff. And that's different than it is here. So yeah. If there is a permit process, but that's part of the problem too, is that you're kind of, you got to

figure that all that stuff out. It's like, you know, it took Raphael and his father-in-law, three and a half years to build two houses, three and a half years to build two houses. Why? Because they decide they wanted a particular tile or whatever. They went into it thinking they were going to build these beautiful American houses here on this mountain. And what happened was they ended up having to build beautiful Costa Rican style houses with Costa Rican materials because it's just not the same. And so, but, you know, it's, listen, listen, bad real estate developers are a dime a dozen. I'm one of them. So there you go. I did the same thing here too. That takes one to no one. There you go. Lack of skilled labor was my middle name.

Hey, there's Brian. Lack of skilled labor green. Let's get him involved. I'm such an idiot. Oh, my God. And I totally forgot what I was going to talk about. There was something I started off this segment with, but now I cannot remember for the life of me. I derailed the Costa Rica.

Oh, you got on the Facebook. Oh, you're going to talk about Facebook and the Disney adults. All right. Let's take a short break. We've got two episodes today. By the way, we're going to be back on later on probably, well, it's $2.30 now. So there you go. probably about 3 o'clock we're going to be back on.

We're going to join Allison Hare for her big seventh year anniversary. Allison, of course, one of the people that was instrumental in getting the commercial break on its feet. Yeah, a good friend. A good kick in the pants so that I could get out there and do it. So let's take a break. We'll wrap this episode up and we'll come back if you're on the stream right now and we'll be joined by Alison Hare or we're joining Allison here. Not sure how we're going to frame that. Like all commercial break episodes, we're flying by the seat of our pants.

We're going to figure it out as we go along. All right, we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

Visit our website, TCBPodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcast. podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult. Now was it? You're welcome. Okay, so I am trawling around on Facebook and I was, you know, I belong to some of these Disney groups that are on Facebook and I belong to them for a long time. And trust me, there are a fair share of fucking morons in those groups, no doubt about it. And there's a fair share of people that I

think are way too sick of fantish about Disney. And this is coming from someone who really likes Disney. And then there are people like me who really like Disney, but we understand it's a company. These are toys and theme parks, and these are not real life. Like, you know, you can relive your childhood, you can have fun in the moment, but it's very unlikely that, you know, you can, like, Disney is not a, it's not an ideology. Holy grail. Yeah, it's not an ideology. Yeah. Okay, it's a, it's a company that makes movies for children mainly and, and, uh, is good at entertaining people. That's what it does. But there are a lot of people that are so into this, like way over the edge.

I can only imagine. So now there's a group of people who have decided that there is a way. There is a place there called Fort Wilderness Resort. It's one of the very first resorts that were on the Disney World property. There were three of them, the contemporary, the Polynesian, and then Fort Wilderness.

Fort Wilderness, originally, was just a campground. That's literally what it was. Really? Yes. They had tents, a few log cabins. and you could bring your camper there and you could stay. I didn't even realize that. I stayed at the Polynesian. Yeah, the Polynesian is one of the first. The contemporary in the Polynesian were the first two to open with the park, right?

And then as it expanded, now they have like 27 hotels across the property. But the Fort Wilderness is a cool place. I've stayed there before. I stayed there when I was a young kid. We rented one of the log cabins. I liked it. It's in the woods. It's like a true, like, campground.

That's what it is. But over the years. In the middle Florida, Yeah, exactly. But hey, you're on Disney property, right? I mean, so you're not to, you can take a boat still to the Magic Kingdom. Like, it's not that far off from all the action. Actually, he's pretty close to the action, actually. So there is a group of people now who have, are of the mindset that for short periods of time, 30, 60, 90 days that you can rent a trailer or camper or you have your own and you can get it parked in the Disney, Fort Will. and that you can live on the Disney property for about as much as it would take to, say, rent a nice apartment or condo in downtown Atlanta, right? $3,000, $4,000 a month. And you get hooked up to water and you get hooked up to TV and you get hooked up to electricity

and you just stay there and that's it. You're living at Disney. You live at Disney. Now, there are ways you can live at Disney. There's Celebration, Florida, that is technically on the Disney property where they have homes. And they opened that years ago and there are these big beer. beautiful homes there. There's another gated community that sits near the four seasons that's on the Disney property that has really expensive homes, like 12, 20, $30 million homes. But you can rent

some of those, but, you know, I don't know whether, who know, how can you afford that, right? So now there's these people that are just going there, they're parking their camper and they're staying for 30, 60, 90 days. Great. Wonderful. Good for you. So I'm watching a few of these. And I'm like, okay, this is interesting. Let me see how this all plays out. You know, it's like day nine of living at Disney, day 30 of living at Disney. I find a lady that I think whose personality is tolerable. She's got three children like I do, right?

She's obnoxiously Disney, but I can get over that. I just want to see what the minutia of this is. Yeah, the day to day. Yeah, what do you do? You go to the pool, you go to the parks, you go, where do you eat? How do you eat? Grocery store. Yeah.

So their friends let them borrow a camper and their story was they have a month between houses. They're selling their house in Savannah, Florida. They're going to buy a house in Celebration, Florida. Okay. So they're going to live the true dream. They're going to live there permanently. But we're going to live on the Disney property temporarily in this camper. So they borrow their friends camper.

They pull it up. I guess Disney has to like put it in the space and hook it up and all this other stuff. So they hook it up. And Disney will also come in and do your like, they'll, you know, turn down service and all that in your camper. Oh. Right? I guess that's how it works. That's what that's what they're saying. So I'm like, wow, cool. You know, let me follow a couple of these days. I followed the first day. The family is tolerable. They're a little obnoxious, but they're tolerable. They go to the parks. They have some fun. The kids are excited. The kids are young. They have a nice camper that they're living in, you know, one of these nice expanded campers have all the accoutreemental. I'm like, wow, cool. They turn on the TV. There's a little, welcome to Disney World, you know, with all, here's the calendar. Here's the events. And I'm like, yeah, that's cool. All right, okay, all right.

I'm into this video. And then it flips to the next video. And it's like, day four of living at Disney. And I'm like, okay, cool. And watch them. They go to the park. And then she sits down and she's like, I want to give you an idea of what it's really like to live at Disney. I want to pull back the curtains and just make level set for anybody that's just joining me or for anybody who thinks that I'm putting together videos that are a little too Disney

friendly. I want to let you know that we do not put Disney first. Disney is not first in our lives. This is something that we like, and it's something that we enjoy. But all glory goes to Jesus Christ in heaven on high, and God our Savior is the one who told me to come down to Disney. I asked him one night, I asked him, Dear Lord, bless my family, bless my family. And he whispered to me, let Jesus be your guide. And Jesus is one, and Mickey is too. And I was like, what the fuck just happened on this video? She went from talking about living at Disney World property to proselytizing about Jesus and Chrissy, it just got crazier and crazier from there.

I think that living on the Disney property has fully baked her brain. Yeah. Yeah. I can't take it. I can't take these, these, I don't care if you're Christian. If you're Christian, congratulations. If you're a good person, I'd love you for it. If you believe in Jesus Christ, he seems like a pretty cool dude if he was to have existed.

And I don't know and you don't either. But it seems pretty fucking cool. But these Christian nationalists who start tying everything into politics and proselytizing to everybody, no matter what it fucking is, drive me crazy. By day number nine, they were wearing their full MAGA gear with one of the T-shirts said, Jesus chose Trump. And I'm like, oh, all I wanted. All I wanted was a Disney. video about fucking Disney. She roped you in.

She wrote me in. She had me four videos in and then she bait and switched. I could have even just flipped to the next video when she started proselytizing about how Jesus spoke to her about Disney World or whatever. I flipped to the next video and they're walking through with their Maga gear, you know, proud to wear the colors for Christ. It's like, oh my God. Really?

Really. Can you not use a brain cell in your head? Honestly. I thought Disney said no to that shit. I thought they said no fucking political gear inside of the, inside of the theater. Yeah, I thought that I read something about that. Didn't they? Yeah. No MAGA hats, no Biden.

No none of that stuff. Maybe not at the campground. Yeah, well, I guess it's the campground, you get away with it. I guess it's the campground. They're like, if we say no to that, we're not getting anybody to show up with the campground. Yeah. Unbelievable. So I'm like, oh, fuck this lady.

So then I'm flipping around, flipping around, fliping around. Boop. Another video comes up. Same situation. Really? Not same exact situation. But these people are going to stay. They found a deal on a room, a deal on a family suite or whatever.

They're going to stay at Disney for 30 days, too. I swear to fucking Christ that I get another two videos in and I'm getting more of the same schlach. And I'm like, this must be like a coordinated effort, right? Kind of seems like it. Yeah. So I'm out. I'm like later. See you later.

By the third time I catch one of these videos. about someone spending an immense amount of time with Disney. This person was spending three weeks with his wife. And he had organized MAGA for Christ that loves Disney organization. And they all met in the park when we're wearing their MAGA gear. It was like 200 of them wearing their MAGA gear. And I was like, guys, it's not a religion. It's not a religion.

It's a pool cleaning company. It's a pool cleaning company. That's what it is. A fucking pole cleaning company. God damn it. All right. Let us get you, Allison. I know it was a short episode, but, you know, come on.

Do you want me to keep talking about this? I don't want to keep talking about it. I'm glad he told me what not to do. Don't watch those videos. Yeah. Yeah. You see somebody living at Disney, skip it. Yeah.

Because there's some kind of cult going on down there. I mean, I'm not saying everybody who has this, you know, fantasy. Listen, there's plenty of Disney adults that are just like a little too crazy about Disney, and there's no religion involved in their videos. You can watch them all day long. But I don't know. I guess I got fed this, like, subculture. You probably did.

Maybe it was the algorithm. I think it was. I think it was. Damn algorithm. Fuck, man. Yeah, I mean, you don't even have to subscribe or follow anyone anymore. It's just the algorithm knows best. Well, if you view something and spend any amount of time,

than it knows to feed you more of that. It's quite amazing, actually. Actuary. Actuary is quite a major. In the estuary. In an estuary. I'm sure in a swimming pool. A man for flag of blue.

Petkind. Birdie. All right. So if you're listening on the podcast version, probably manana you'll hear this episode with uh alison hair from culture changers that she celebrates seven years being a podcaster yes we're happy to celebrate with her by going on her show and she coming on our show is co-showing we're co-showing this we're real estate agents now we're doing a co-show uh yeah and then we'll be back uh you know we'll be back don't worry about us tomorrow i think

We'll be back tomorrow on the stream. Yes. If you're listening on the podcast, we're not doing live streaming shows for a minute because because I am on vacation, watching Gustavo get married. Yes, Gustavo! And so I'll tell you all about that. I'm sure I'll have lots to talk about it. Oh, I can't wait to hear about that.

I'm going to do lots of videos, lots of audios. I'll bring back all I can. If you're on the stream, join us tomorrow about this time. Frankie B and Mountain Monsters. That's how we're going to close out the week. We're going back old school. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCBPodcast.com, audio, video, and your sticker. And please watch us on YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for right now. I think so. I'll tell you, though. I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Join us in 10 minutes with Allison Hare. Until next time, we'll say, do say, and we must say. Goodbye.