The Commercial Break - The Artist Formerly Known As...Cyrus?

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

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The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The 30 of the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and my co-host, Chris and Joy Holy. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe and the streaming universe.

How are you? Thanks for joining us. My mind was a little muddled there because I was thinking of remembering to tell you that I de-installed Google Maps, and I installed, remember, maps, and I installed, remember, Map Quest? Oh yeah. Do you remember MapQuest? I do. That was the first. Speaking of 1996. Yes. Kids, you won't remember this as I turned 70 years old in a day. You won't remember this. But there was a time when you had, when getting around included one of three things. If you had to go from point A to point B and you did not know where point B was, you had never been there before. I was trying to explain to my child that there used to be a time. I can remember like clear. is day. And one of my friends was coming over and I was like 13 years old. And the phone rang

and the kid was like, you know, can I put my mom on the phone? And like, so everyone's mom, you know, my mom's upstairs on her phone. I'm downstairs on the kitchen phone and his mom's on the phone. And my mom giving directions to the mother on how she could drop off her child so that we could have a play date, right, so that we could hang out together. Play date. I was 13. So we hang out together. I also remember clearly that when I started sneaking out of the house, I had to tell one of my friends, I had to remind him of how to get to my house. Go to the highway, get off at exit 12. Yeah. Take a right hand turn on 120. Take a left hand turn on this. Go to the second stop sign. Take a right. And you'd have to write that shit down. You had to pay attention to the street.

Absolutely. Or you just had a general sense for where something was because you'd been in that area before. And you go, oh, yeah, I know. It was like a landmark you could say, like the big chicken. Remember, you used to get around Georgia by going east, west, south, or north of the fucking big chicken. That's how things were. Or the King and Queen building or whatever. Then, or that was one way, directions, you actually got direction street by street directions from someone vocally and wrote them down. Number two, you had a map.

Yep. Paper map. Paper map. I remember driving cross country with my dad. And he had it all on a paper on one of those at, like the Atlas maps that you would fall, you know, every state was a different page. And he drew a line. This is the way we're going to go. And then you'd have to go, oh, exit 137.

Coming up, Dad, you got to take a left here, take a right here, get off at this exit. Turn, go on Highway 60. Or number three, in the 1990s, as the Internet became more extensive. widely accessible. My dad had had had it for a long time, but it became more accessible, as AOL started to send you discs in the mail for 12 free hours of AOL. You're, you've got mail. Look at this titty picture in three hours. Come back in three hours. The first titty picture that I ever saw on the internet, it literally took hours to download. It was like pixelated for days. Oh my God, it was terrible. It was like one megabyte per hour or some shit like that. So I remember, I think the first time that I ever used MapQuest had to have been probably around the Olympics.

We were going to an island. I told the story about how one time I drove drunk and I fell asleep and I drove across a bridge asleep. and my friend in the back was like watching me sleep while I was driving across the bridge with my eyes closed in Adisto Island, South Carolina. So it's near Charleston. So it's Charleston and Adisto are close-ish to each other, like 20, 30 miles away. And it was a bridge. And you had to get over.

It was like a mile-long bridge. And I slept across the bridge. I know. My friend was like, and we had been drinking margaritas all morning and other stuff. So I, listen, I'm not encouraging that kind of behavior. It was the dumbest shit I had ever done. But whatever. At that time, also you didn't have an Uber to, you know, pick you up and take you everywhere.

Not an excuse. Anyway, I remember going on that trip, probably 1996, 97, and my friend who I was on the trip with, he had pieces of paper that he had printed out on a printer from a thing called MapQuest. and MapQuest was a website that you could go to and you could put in a point and a starting point and it would give you turn-by-turn directions. So same shit. Just now a computer was doing it for you

rather than you getting it from somebody. And this quickly became the way that you would get from point A to point B. I remember printing out endless sheets of paper. Oh, yeah, me too. In MapQuest directions, right? Am I right about this? Yep. All right. So MapQuest was the one and the only.

map system that you use. What a, what a bunch of geniuses that put this together. I'm sure the government had something to do with it too because of satellites and all this other stuff. But how genius. And it wasn't always right. And sometimes the directions weren't always clear. And it wasn't like it is today where you were, you know, it could like pinpoint within three feet. Sometimes some. Or if you make a wrong turn, it can correct. Yeah. Yeah. None of that shit. You had to still pay attention. but MapQuest was the OG. And man, have I not thought about that. I have not thought about that name in two decades, at least MapQuest.

Until today, I'm reading a story. Yep, I read that story too. You read that story? An interesting story about the little engine that could call MapQuest that refused to kow to our clearly demented, borderlined, dead. and I say that with, I don't say that threateningly. I say that like his physical state. Crazy, unfocused, absolutely manic president, Bitcoin Trump,

who is amongst other things, driving the price of everything through the roof, has no regard for anybody else, has no interest in being the president of anybody in the United States, of America, except for the 30 people who are making billions of dollars off of his exchanges. And he has decided to pick a fight with the one country that we have never had to worry about. Oh, Canada. Never.

Not once in my lifetime have I ever heard about any drama regarding Canada, none. And that he makes up some fucking bullshit about billions of dollars worth of fentanyl coming over the Canadian board. The Canadians aren't making fentanyl. They're not making fentanyl. They're snowed in half the year and they have better things to do with their time. They don't care. They're not bringing fentanyl. That's a completely bogus and made-up story.

There's not one iota of proof that has ever happened. Are there some drugs coming to Canada? Yeah, it's probably pot because that's what's been going on for years and years and years. Or alcohol or whiskey. I don't know, some pills that they have that we don't or whatever. He picked a fight with them. Now there's an incredible trade war. going on. The Canadians are tucked in. They don't give a shit. Yeah, they're like, whatever.

They're ready. Yeah. Let's go. They're sacrificing and they're ready to sacrifice. Americans are not. We are not ready because we have not been grown. We have had everything handed to us on a silver platter and we're not ready for that bullshit. And everything's about to get 10 times more expensive. And one of the reasons why is this dumb fucking trade war with everybody and their mother. I agree with tariffs in certain situations where we need to apply pressure to have equal trade or because the Chinese are stealing our technology or whatever because we don't want, you know, Iran to have a nuke or Venezuela to, you know, collude with communists. I get all of that. I understand it. I understand how economic levers work because I am,

in fact, an economic genius. And just like Trump, some would say. Some would say the smartest, some would say the smartest economic genius that's ever lived. Some would say more, more than anyone ever and expected. And thank you for your attention to this matter. And Trump decided in his infinite fucking wisdom that the crowning, the crowning glory in his trade fight, his made-up trade fight with Canada is going to be, he's going to change the name of Lake Ontario, which is not even a Canadian name. You dip shit. You dip fucking shit. It's not even a Canadian name. Just because there's a place in Canada called Ontario does not mean that Lake Ontario is a Canadian name. It is not, in fact, a Canadian name. It is a Native American name. Yes.

So, congratulations. Cell phone, Trump. And he has decided that he's going to now, by executive decree, he's going to call it Lake America. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. Google, Sergei and Bren, or whatever their fucking names are. Yeah. Not even, but not even the 30 days it takes for it to run its course. Like it takes 30 days for that executive order to take effect or whatever. Five days later, we're changing it on Google Maps because we're going to make a billion dollars because Trump is going to give us some favorable business conditions that are going to allow that to happen. No regulations. They're going to take off SEC filings, all this other shit. They're going to do everything in our favor if we just make sure that we suck the left ball of Donald Trump. Fuck it. It's done.

Did you read that a woman in Arkansas gave up $27 million for her acres big property? That OpenAI and META wanted to put a data center on her property, $27 million. Fuck you money, basically. And she said, no, not going to do it. Not going to ruin my community. Don't care how much you're going to give me. Reminds me of that story. Which also is a drop in the bucket.

Yeah, by the way, it's a drop in the bucket. It's a drop in the bucket. So, and listen, we can talk about data centers. Data centers have been around for a very long time. There's nothing new about data centers. the need for them has grown immensely, and they're getting bigger and bigger. And I understand the concern. I think some of it is a little hyperbole, if I'm being honest, but okay, I don't think the reality matches what a lot of people say about it. But now it's a right and left thing. No one wants them in their fucking backyard. I can't blame you. All the bad press they've been getting, all the noise that they've been making, all the water that they're sucking up, all the energy that is getting more expensive because of them. But Donald Trump and his infinite wisdom, starting a trade war over all the shit. There are just some people that can be bought and sold and some that are saying, fuck you. And MapQuest put out a little tweet and said, not changing the name, not doing it.

Just like we didn't change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, like Google did two days later. So you know what? I de-installed Google Maps. Don't use it anyway. Never used it. No, I haven't. I use Apple Maps, but I'm going to start using MapQuest because you know what? I downloaded it, and it's that same old, like, pixelated look and feel I was used to back then, but they're doing it for effect now. It's not because it's actually pixelated. But I thought, ah, that's cool. They got over a million and a half installs in a five-day period.

Oh, I bet. A million and a half. And you know what the average is per day? Less than 500 for like the last 10 years. Good for that. Yeah. They rocketed to the number one on the on. And I just love it.

I love it because this is what we got to do. We got to stand up to this bold. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. There's no other reasonable explanation. Okay. And so we're going to go on this and then we're going to spend the next few segments not talking about it. But I'm going to give you two other things that are bullshit. Number one, Venezuelan oil. Well, I was reading, yeah, tell me about that because I was reading not just a headline of that. $658 trillion barrels of oil. That's how much we're going to get from Venezuela. It's the $620 trillion. That was the best deal ever made. Never. It takes decades. decades to even get hundreds of millions of barrels of oil out of the ground, hundreds of millions. The infrastructure is not there. What has essentially happened is they've made an agreement to go tap some of these untapped wells, essentially for lack of a better term, and that the U.S. will get a certain

percentage of the oil that comes out of the ground. There's only one problem with that. It's against the Constitution of Venezuela to give up that oil. The socialist constitution that currently stands, they have not had free and fair elections, so no one in Venezuela. voted for this. It's just Delci Rodriguez, the extra ultra-corrupt current president of Venezuela, who has not been democratically elected. The democratic elections that were promised have not happened yet with none in sight. And so even if this was legal, which there are a lot of question marks about whether or not it was, it can't happen anytime soon. And by the time they have Democratic elections, I will guarantee you the people of Venezuela will not be for this. They will not

be for this. Just giving away oil for free? Because why? Because you took out Maduro and put someone worse in charge? That doesn't make any sense. It's time to start taking actual honorable actions in Venezuela. Follow up the good by doing good. Don't follow up the good by then robbing them of their actual resources. This is a thief in the night type bullshit. And the guy that is brokering the deal, the guy that is in charge of the deal has been accused of defrauding people of billions of dollars. And the United States government

has protected him since Trump got in office has protected him from justice. People in Europe want this guy back there to answer for all the crimes he's committed. And now he's in charge of the multi-billion gallons of oil coming. Great.

Guess the crude that comes out of that ground in Venezuela. It's not like sweet crude that we produce in Texas or that they produce in Saudi Arabia. It is a heavy, crude. It's a heavy, sludgy, sloppy oil, and it takes a different kind of processing, and it takes a lot to process that oil. There is only one real big refinery in the world that does that. It is in Texas. It is largely not been operating at full capacity for a very long time, because the only place that they get that oil from is from Venezuela. One of the only places is from Venezuela, and we haven't been doing business with Venezuela. And guess who owns, it's owned by Aramco, I think. And guess who owns a ramco? Take a guess. Who?

Saudi Arabia. Jared Kushner. Jared Kushner, Saudi Arabia. That's right. This is all, this is all as corrupt as it gets. And let me tell you a second one. And then we're going to move on. Trump buying 300 million pounds of beef.

Oh, God. Yeah, from Argentina. From Brazil is likely it's where it's coming from and Argentina. Argentina and Brazil, and these are not steaks, like you would imagine. This is low-grade fatty trimmings that is used in ground beef. And oftentimes, American meat producers, and that's a whole different corrupt animal I won't get into right now. That's not necessarily Trump or the administration's fault. They mix in the lower-quality stuff with the higher-quality American beef to make ground beef that is palatable for us.

the ground beef that we like. In an effort to bring down beef prices so that he can hopefully get some leverage in the election because beef prices are through the roof, Trump is now relieving tariffs and import taxes on this 300 million pounds of beef. It represents less than 3% of the meat that we would eat in an entire year as Americans. It will not bring down the price, in other words. Second of all, no one has any idea what kind of quality this is. It's been rejected, apparently, according to multiple sources, by other countries, this specific

type of beef, where it's coming from, what farms it's coming from, it's been rejected by other places like China, China. I love my Chinese brethren, but dog is a thing that's eaten in China, and they won't bring in the beef. Got it. Understood? It's not bringing down the prices. It's helping his billionaire friends sell billionaire beef into the American market to try

an last-ditch effort to bring down prices. And who suffers? The American cattle ranchers do. Because they have been in a desperate state for a really long time. They've had to call millions and millions of heads of cattle because of disease and all different kind of stuff. The cattle stock is at its lowest it's been in like 50 years. And they need help. It takes four or five years to grow a cattle so that it can be used as a meat product.

And what we really need is the government to start subsidizing the growth of these cattle stocks, not to be subsidizing beef purveyors from friendly countries that will make his billionaire friends even billionaire rich. Well, I mean, it goes totally against, too, what he's been saying, which is bringing everything to America, America, America. And then this is totally against that. This is absolutely against it. When it comes to money, then, this is so far from America first. It's not even funny. and this is just, if it's not plain to see to everybody that Trump is absolutely a psychopath who only cares about himself, then you have really not been paying attention to what's going on. And if you still believe in this guy, I have no other excuse for you're a moron now. If you're part of the 29% of the country who is still supporting this guy, you're an idiot. I don't want him to fail. I don't want the United States to fail. I don't want drama just to make someone look bad. I said this when he's. I said this when he. got elected for the first time and for the second time. He's our president. Let's see what happens.

Let's hope that the best happens, right? The worst has happened at every turn, at every turn. And I can only hope, I can only hope that, I don't know, that he, that we survived the next two years, that he gets impeached that. Well, I mean, what did that even do last time? Well, it only does something if the Senate actually impeaches him. That's it. And so you got to win the House and you got to win the Senate. And listen, I'm no bleeding heart liberal, the Democrats in a lot of ways are no better. And, you know, Chaps my hide is that Jared Kushner is meeting with fucking, what's his name? Jeffries. Yeah, Jeffries. What? Yeah. What? I mean, I'm not saying that the two parties shouldn't be talking, but Jared Kushner is not a part of any party. He's not even in the fucking United States government. Why is this guy everywhere? Jared Kushner. If like the Hamptons was a person, I think it'd be Jared Kushner. Do you know what I'm saying?

If the Hamptons was, if like the worst part about the Hamptons was a human being, I think would be Jared Kushner. I just do. And his fucking dumb, dumb wife. All right, we're going to not talk any more politics. I just had to get that out there. I saw my MapQuest, little, it had downloaded, and I was, it got all excited about it. I just had to share with everybody else.

Uninstall Google Maps. And Google takes up enough of your time. Don't worry about it. You don't need Google Maps. It's not the best, then. Anyway, Apple's the best. Even though my wife argues that, she says that Apple will drive you into a lake. And I'm like, honey, we'd be lucky if Apple drove me into a lake.

You'd be lucky. Lake of Ontario. Lake of America. Gulf of America or the Lake of America, drive me into one of those and put me out of my fucking misery. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be back. Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely, Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her, or me or Chrissy, at 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Mm-hmm. Just call and say something. Anything. Or text us and we'll text you're right back. Promise. Then head over to TCB Podcast.com and get you. your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point. Follow us

on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid. I saw you in then the VIP, bottle service in Hennessy. My heart

went crazy, it skipped a beat. I thought that you could be with me. I walk over to you. We like eyes. You're my wife and I realize. You're with my friend and it's no surprise watching you two makes my flag rise. I have a cut, cut, cut crush on you. I have a cut, cut crush on you. I hide in the closet and let you do what you do. I have a cut, cut, cut crush on you. So baby, grab your phone, start to swipe. We need to spend some time getting it right. I don't want you to be alone tonight. I want you to cheat without a fight

When you're in the bed with my favorite guy I hide myself and try not cry I love you lady but I won't lie My therapist even wonders why I have a cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet and let you do what you do I have a cut cut crush on you

Man and let's paint the town I'll stay in the corner and watch it all go down I promise not to make a sound While you are neighbor ground and pound It's so lovely to be your man I can't do what the other guys can But when you're happy I feel grand He can be your lion, I'll be your lamb

I have a cut, cut, crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet and let you do what you do I have a cut cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet Let you do what you do I have a cut, cut, crush on you

I love to watch you get screwed And the facts I know I love to watch you get screwed Good one Brian Miley Miley Cyrus changing her name To just Miley

I saw that And the Prince Madonna Michael Was Michael ever just Michael I don't think Michael was ever just Michael Michael Jackson. Who else? Who else?

Pope? The Pope. I don't know. Trump, I guess is another one. Sting. Sting? Sting's a good one. Okay.

What are there some other one-named hadoodles? Let me see. Share. There's a good one. One named artists. Or let's put musicians because there can be a lot of musicians. One named musicians. Prince, Madonna, share, sting, Adele, Eminem, Bjork, pink.

Okay, all right, Ozzy. I guess we could say Ozzy, even though most people said Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was, you know who we were talking about if you said Ozzy. It seems like a bit of an odd choice for Miley Cyrus, because I think Miley Cyrus is a cool fucking name and you should just keep Miley Cyrus. But Miley, okay, I'm not 100% convinced that works so late in your career, you know. I mean, not like she's old or anything, but I'm old. And I, you know, therefore everybody else has got to be old with me. But Miley Cyrus is such a cool name.

Keep it. But apparently she's like been estranged from her father for a while. I was going to say, that must be the reason. Yeah. She wants to go. Who's it? Who's dating Elizabeth Hurley, by the way. He is?

Yes. Fucking Elizabeth Hurley's hot, dude, for like 62 years old. It really is. But wasn't he dating like a 12 year? Like, not 12 year. But didn't think like a 20 year old or something? Yeah, he's engaged to somebody that was much younger. But in Billy Ray Cyrus, all due respect to the Houchi, chat of Hochi,

Hucci Coochee or whatever he fucking sang. The one song? Yeah. God. What was that fucking song? Now I can't even remember. He was it. The Hoochie Coochee.

Yeah. Way down yonder in the chitty hoochie. No. Billy Ray Cyrus. I mean, you only sang one song for God's six. Not the boot scoop, boogie, but he had the mullet. He had the mullet. Aiky Breaky Heart.

The Akeey Breaky Heart. I mean, 16 studio albums, 53 singles since 1992, but he's known for his one song Akey Brakeey Art. Well, he's known for the horse song too with Little Knaws, Old Town Road. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but I didn't like that song. I wasn't on board with that like everybody else was. But I wasn't on board of Akey Brakeey Heart either. But Ake Breaky Heart is like one of the original crossover songs along with way down yonder in the chat of hoot. You never do what the little river did to me.

I learn how to swim and I learn how to drink and I learned how to kiss and I learned Put two in the pink. I don't know. I forgot the song. I don't know what it was.

Down by the river on the batting home. That's it. You got it. Iggy, breaking heart. Listen, he's kind of a bonehead. Let's be honest about it. Billy Ray Cyrus. Not known as a member of Mensa.

You know, it's kind of a bonehead type dude. But Miley Cyrus is a different story. I like Miley Cyrus. I have a lot of respect for Miley Cyrus. I do too. I actually, I watched that Dave Letterman special with her. Yeah.

And I just thought it was a runaway hit. She couldn't have come across more put together if you tried. More intelligent, more talented, more well-spoken, smart, mature. I just have a lot of respect for Miley Cyrus. And I think she's a beautiful woman. I know it's unconventional beauty. She's not, you know, she's not, I don't know, the like cut out of box Barbie type. She's just very unique looking and acting and sounding and I like everything about it.

I'm not so sure I like Miley. I'm not sure Miley is the change. I feel like that kind of name change you do out of a sense of desperation a little bit. Like you want people to pay attention to you? Like remember when Prince became the symbol formally known as Prince, which is the dumbest fucking name. Remember, the symbol formerly known as Prince. Well, but that whole thing was over recording. Yeah, it was over legal.

Yeah, publishing rights. Yeah, yeah. Someone had publishing rights, whatever he recorded under prints, and he changed his name to do that. That, I get. All right. Okay. But, I mean, I don't hear Miley's in any kind of argument. But whatever you want to do, Miley, cool with me.

And when you're ready to come on the commercial break, talk about it. Yeah. You feel free. Welcome arms. Yeah. Here in studio would be better for everybody, I think. I think you can agree. It'd be more convenient if you were here in the studio with Chrissy and I sitting, right, where Chrissy is sitting.

Right. I agree. I would give up my chair. There's a chair over there for Chrissy. I want to smell you. I bet she does smell good. Oh, she does. She's got that perfume that she's always running around half naked about.

I love that. I love that commercial. Every time it comes on, I'm like, that's a great commercial. Perfume commercials are some of the dumbest shit you see on TV, along with, like, you know, the colo rectal guard or whatever the hell. But it's some of the dumbest shit you see. Sky Rizzi. Yeah, Sky Rizzi. Rizzi.

Ms. Vivi, and like, you know, all the dumb old songs they turn into now pharmaceutical names. God, those guys must be kept being paid a dickload of money. And you can't argue it. I mean, God bless you. You know, I'm waiting for a Doors song. I know. I think I heard like a Pixies the other day. I was like, what?

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, Frank Black's got to make some money off that music eventually. I don't think the Pixies sold a bunch of albums. I mean, I think they sold albums. But one album, I think they sold. The Pixies are still touring around, too. Yeah, they are. Yeah.

The Pixies, there's another one-named artist of Pixies. But, you know, good for Miley. She's got a new album coming out. I say, hey, good for you. Yeah, best of luck. Knock yourself out. Best to you. Best to you, Miley.

I mean, I guess she was always kind of known as Miley anyways. Who else is the famous Miley? No, it's true. No, you're right about that. There is no other Miley that you can think of. And I guess that's the benefit of having a name that at the time was pretty freaking original. I think there are a lot of Miley's now. I don't think there's a lot of Miley's then. It must be a great pat on the back. It must make you feel like you've done something in life

when your very unique names starts getting spread around children. Yeah. Yeah. Like now there's all these talons and maylies and Kaly's. I don't know if Apple ever caught on. No, Apple didn't catch on. But, you know, when you, Apple didn't catch on either did one, two, three or whatever Kanye West is naming his children or Elon. Musk is naming his children, but I've always said this. Naming a child is an important thing. It really is. It's been scientifically proven that naming a child, some dumb shit like Toyota or whatever the

fuck, is dooming your child to a life of untold discrimination because they did a test once. This is like a scientific study that was done. I remember I read about it. I wish I had it right in front of me. this has nothing to do with racial makeup, by the way. This has to do with people's opinion of names that are outside of a certain box and how the brain instantaneously discounts that. And they sent in a bunch of resumes to hiring people.

And some of them had rather strange names on them. And some of them had names like, you know, Bob, Tyrell, Donnie, whatever. Guess who got thrown in the trash more often than not? It wasn't the Tyrells, the Donnies, and the Bryans. It was everybody else. Because people, they have this weird, if they don't understand it, then they believe that it's different. And anything that's different than gets discounted in the mind. It's just the way that it is.

Naming a child is important. So when you name your child 1, 2, 3, or, you know, TRX 6,700, or whatever the fuck you're naming your child, you better be rich as shit. So that kid never has to work another day in his goddamn life. True. Because that is the, that is one of the advantages. that you get when you're rich as shit and your kids are going to be rich as shit. When you have fuck you money

and you don't have to worry about anything for the rest of your life and neither does your children, you can name them whatever the fuck you want. But otherwise, think about the name before you give it to them. Just be careful. Just don't give them some dumb shit name

that is never going to work out. That's another lesson I learned. That made me think about Grimes. She's another one that's the one name. That's another one. Grimes. Dido? Yeah, Dido. Dido.

Pulling that out. Why? I thought of Dido. Tiffany. Bjork. Bjorn. Yeah. Tiffany. There's one. Brittany. I mean, I don't think we, I don't think that's like the official title, but, you know, I think if you say Britney, people know who that is. Brian. Brian. Yes. Yes. Howard. Howard's another one. When you think of Howard, you probably think of Howard Stern. I would imagine. You think of famous people. Howard Stern's going to HBO. Did you hear that?

No. Yeah. Give me some Howard. tea. Well, real quick, because I don't want to spend the whole time talking about Howard Stern. I feel like we've dedicated enough of the show to Howard Stern. I mean, I don't think we talk about him a ton, but, you know, once a month, I feel like we touch on it. We'll just in the contract, coming and going. Yeah. So a year ago, his contract came up at the end of last year, and he told everybody that he had found a way to do both things. Spend more time, have more free time, and additionally stay continuing to do the show for another couple of years. I think he signed another two-year contract, three-year contract.

So he signed the contract in January. The actual contract then started, it starts on September 1st, right, today, as we're recording this. So a month ago, there was a big hub. There had been many people who said that Howard was getting canceled, that they weren't going to extend his contract, that they weren't going to come to terms. That is how, I told you back then, and it was true, that is Howard playing the strings. He always does. He's always done it. He just, he puts that stuff out in the media so that he has leverage.

And so to many people's dismay, because Howard is not a Trump cuck, to many Trump supporters dismay, Howard continues to do the show. But what was not, what was unclear was any of the terms of the contract. So about a month and a half ago, about three dozen, 36 of the hundred and some odd people that work over at the Howard Stern offices in the serious building. These are serious employees, by the way. Howard Stern has his own production company that only includes just a few people on the inner circle. Howard, Robin, Fred, Gary, I think, and then maybe one or two other people. And then the production company then hires serious. He has like a budget and he hires people through serious. So essentially it's like a separate

division inside of the serious organization. But the people, most of the people who work at the Howard Stern show are serious employees, not Howard Stern. earn employees, right? Okay, so that's how you get it. Right. It's about 36 of the hundred or so people that work for him, all of a sudden get laid off, including people that had been on air, people that have been longtime staff members, uh, people, the people that were getting laid off were complaining that they had NDAs that were very tight and that they weren't getting severance packages that met industry expectations. I don't know what media expectations you have for severance packages,

but I've been working in the media industry and don't expect anything. Yeah. Yeah, those are some of the cheapest sons of bitches ever, especially the radio business. Fuck, that. Yeah, they were lucky to get anything, if I'm being honest. And it's not Howard's fault. Like, it's not Howard. Howard said to them, I'm not going to be creating as much content. I don't need such a large staff. And then the announcement came that he was going to go from two days live a week to one day live a week.

So Howard is now only on one day live a week. That will be Mondays, still doing a four or five hour show. That's still more content than Chrissy and I create. Think about that. That's more content than Chrissy and I create. Last year it wasn't, but this year it is. But that's a lot of content for one day, four or five hours, right? So you're getting four or five hours of Howard.

Think about it. That's how much Jimmy Kimmel does, and he's on every single fucking night. So it's an immense amount of content to create, even that four or five hours. And he was doing three and four and five days in his career. He's been doing this for 38 years. That's a lot, man. And he's in his 70s. So he says, I want to relax.

I want to take it easy. But I don't want to completely go away. Yeah. Okay. You know, whatever. Sounds reasonable. Yeah, sounds reasonable. I don't religiously listen to Howard Stern anymore. It was a period in my life when I would when he first went over to Sirius.

So I turn him on every once in a while. You know, every couple of days I'll flip on and see what's going on. So now Howard had two channels. Howard 100, Howard 100, and one. Now Andy Cohen is taking over Howard 101. So basically, Howard 100 would play the most recent show on repeats, right? So he'd do the live show on 100, and then he'd go off air for that day, and then they'd replay that show over and over again. And if it was the weekend, they'd play all the shows back to back, the newest shows, that week's shows.

So 100 was the most recent. 101 was dedicated to old episodes of Howard Stern or old clips or marathons or whatever. Best ofs, you get. So now Andy is going to take over Howard 101. So many people believe that Howard, in fact, was. was getting fired, right? Again, this whole thing came back around this last couple of weeks. He's getting fired. He's not going to be on. But no, he's just going to have the one channel, Howard 101. Mondays he's going to go live. That Monday show will play intermittently throughout the week,

but now 100 is mainly going to play clips and best-offs. Now, they're retailing the whole channel. It's now just like little three to seven-minute clips, even sometimes even shorter, that they're digesting from his catalog for 40 years. Quick bites. Yes. Which I'm actually enjoying quite, quite a lot. It used to be that you'd have to listen to a whole five-hour show before you got to the next episode. You know, even on 101, sometimes they were playing entire episodes in marathons.

And it was like, okay, I guess I'll tune back in tomorrow to see what's next. Now it's just like quick, quick, quick, quick, the best of the funniest stuff, the phony phone calls, the crazy hijinks, whatever. I like it. Okay. So then yesterday, two days ago, they announced that HBO has bought the rights. to the video version of the five hours of the Howard Stern Show. And on Thursdays, they will be doing, again, another video version, just like the old E.

Show, they'll be doing a... Yeah, I used to watch that show all the time. Yeah, me too. A condensed version, and they put it like this in the press release, which I thought was weird, either 45, 60, or 90 minutes depending on the content for that week. It'll mainly be broadcast on HBO Max, the app, but on occasion it will also go on to the channel HBO. So it might be broadcast like on Saturday, late on Saturday nights or something. But hey, listen, I'm all about it. Cool. He finds another way to breathe life into a career that

never fucking ends. And you got, you kind of like the guy's business acumen, if anything. Absolutely. Listen, you look back on some of the stuff that Howard did. It doesn't, it didn't age well, right? Certainly. Like having girls ride the Sibby in and all that, you know, all that crazy shit, you know, best hit contest. But it was a flavor of the times. I'm not excusing. the behavior. I'm just saying it was a flavor of the times. And Howard was a pioneer in this, for sure. But he also grew. He also matured in a lot of ways. And, you know, now he's got daughters that are the same age as some of those women he was asking to ride the Sibbion. And I think he's just mellowed out. But he's good in a different way now. He's still, you know, there's still all those people around him that are doing the crazy hijinks. And he still is one of the most interesting people to listen to on any particular topic. He's funny. The dude is funny. He really is. So congratulations to Howard. I say it's a good thing. That you're on air. watch it. I will. I'm actually more interested to watch the show than I am to listen to it. I'm like, okay. And the question, though, to me is that for the last five years, Howard has been doing the show from his house. Yeah. So the question is, is he going to go back to the studio? Is this like, is he going to be back in studio doing something? I sure, shit, hope so.

Because I think the show, I honestly think there's something interesting when everybody's in the room together. Yeah, I do too. Like the old days. Yeah. Like, Chrissy and I did the show apart for the first six months or four months, five months, whatever it was, they're just something completely. completely different about being in the studio together. It's not a repeatable, it's not replicable. You can't do it. And that's why you guys love us so much. It's why literally tens of thousands of you tune out on a daily basis. Exactly. It's because of the energy. It's because of the energy in the room. Imagine how bad it would be if we were not together. I know the sound would be bad, that's for sure. Listen to some of those early episodes. I'd, oh, meel. Luckily, we're only doing like one episode every two weeks back then, so, you know,

there's not that much of that content. All right, let's take a break and then we'll come back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-TCB. That's 212-4333822. Visit our website, TCB for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. Oh, my God, I do love this Connecticut guy. He just doesn't stop. Yeah, he's a little bright spot. He is a little bright spot. Anytime he comes by, I go, you know what?

There's that dude, and I know exactly what he's going to say. I have no doubt he's going to say the same thing. Connecticut, need a ride to your wedding, to a fun night out, still the weekend. And he's still trying to convince it since July 4th. He's been trying to let people know that it's still summertime, still time to get out there and party. Go to your wedding. Go to the beach. Connecticut, call me.

It's like, yeah, July 7th is still the summer. I got it, 10-4. It's still the summer. You got to love them. You got to love them. Oh, man, I just love going on Instagram. I'm going down rabbit holes. It's so much fun.

I'm on to this new thing. I'm on to a... There's a couple down in Florida, and he is like a beefcake, right? He's probably... I'm going to guess they're getting close to 60. But they, you know, they're muscular. Bodybuilder type, yeah. And his wife, who's also a bodybuilder type.

And she wears, you know, all she wears is like, you know, Lulu Lemon stuck to her body, and all he wears is oversized shirts, you know, this big muscle. I mean, the guy's got a neck the size of a, it's just huge. It's the size of a building. And his head is just as big, you know. But he got those squeaky little voices, you know, sometimes bodybuilders, hey, hey. And so let me see, I want to, should I, I want to play one of their videos. Should I play one of their videos? Sure. Let me see if I can get a good one here. Okay. And I'll give him a shout out. It's Tina Marie LaFredo, if you want to check it out. And listen, I'm not making fun here.

I'm just having fun, so just chill out, okay? But I just think that this is funny, the two of them, the way that they interact. They've been married for like 35 years, by the way. Nice, congrats. Yeah, seriously. Congrats. Okay. So they're going to make a grilled cheese with cottage cheese because that's how they eat, right?

They're like birds. They don't eat anything. They just eat like the craziest concoctions. Protein, protein, protein, protein, protein, you know, no carbs, any of that stuff. The other day I saw them, they were cooking, cooking, cooking, fat, free, cool whip. Cooking. What? Don't ask. I have no idea.

Like, for what reason, I've no idea. But here, they're making cheese out of cottage cheese. But just listen, and I'll point out, I'll point out some stuff here. Okay. Time. All right. Welcome to Danny and Tina Marie. 50's the new 30. Welcome to the channel.

Welcome to the YouTube. Subscribe, please. Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. These are two old people that are desperately trying to get on board with the trend. But to be fair, they're consistent about it. They do it. They do have a few people who are into them, I guess.

Okay. I take a cottage cheese. Ready? Grilled cheese. Grill cheese. Cottage cheese, grilled cheese. All right. The difference is, and the reason I went like that is because she discovered this.

Yeah. And I tasted it, and it's unbelievable. So we're not using bread. No. We're making our own bread with cottage cheese. Cottage cheese. Oh, yeah. We're not using bread.

We're making our own bread with cottage cheese, which is the weirdest shit I've ever heard my entire life. I have no interest in trying it. If you're going to cook the cottage cheese, I don't want to eat it. Do you know what I'm saying? But then the other thing is, they're like this duo that they do sing-songy voices sometimes. They parrot what each other says. Like, they answer each other's questions. They've been together for so long.

They've mind-melded into one human being. How it goes. Watch. We're going to take fat-free cottage cheese. Let me show you. Right here, fat-free cottage cheese. Cutta protein. God of cheese.

And how much where scoops? Two cups. Two cups. Two cups. How many cups? Two cups. It's like, we heard her. You don't have to parent what she says.

So two cups. Okay, all right. We got it. Yeah, how many cups? Two cups. All right, we got it. Cups of cottage cheese. She's putting in an art.

This is one cup container This is one cup And we're putting it into a blender So use a blender So you use a blender I'm so confused And then you're going to the other cup

Jesus Now we're trying to come up with things that don't use that many ingredients That tastes really, really good That tastes really really good He just keeps repeating what she says First of all Second of all How are you sitting around on a Friday fucking night

My friend Tina Marie? How are you sitting down on a Friday night and saying to yourself, I bet I can make bread with cottage cheese? Yeah. Who thinks of that? Who does that? Is that a real thing? Did she read that on the internet?

I've never heard of that. Never. But there's two cups, Chrissy, too. Okay. Okay, just check it. Then you have to blend it. So many of these things we check out too. The cottage cheese is already pretty much blended.

Like, do you have to really put that in? Yeah, it's got the curd. Yeah, it's got to make it more mushy? taste good because they don't tell you everything they leave things out we're not doing that to you we taste it first before we make it we make it we make it first and taste it first before we explain it to you that's good you and I are going to get like this at some point I'm just going to start parody what each other says we're going to be this old couple right right right right right right two cups yeah so we ate it already so we can't show you but the thing is is that

A lot of this stuff that I'm watching, the videos and this like that. That's great, but they're leaving out one or two ingredients. Or they have like 10 degrees. Half of this. Half of this. A pitch of this. Picholas. If that's what you want to do, go for it.

But I, you know, with my time. If you want to get people the actual ingredients and the recipe, go ahead. If you want to waste 15 minutes with us, no problem. We're happy to help. Three ingredients, four ingredients. I'm done. That is in there. Now we need to add four eggs.

All right. So she's going to crack four eggs. Okay. So she's got four eggs. So it's all here. That's two cups, Connish cheese, fat bread. This is so strange.

My wife was ordering me around to get her the garbage can right there. You guys heard that, right? That's what I heard. Get me. It wasn't please. Can you please get me a dog? See, this is what happens after 34 years. Thank you.

Oh, my God. I can't imagine a whole day with these people. But I'm fascinated. But then I mean they're going to the, they're going to beach bars down in, you know, they live in Florida. Of course they do. Of course. Of course. And they're going down, they're riding their scooters around some island.

They call them their hogs. But they're not hogs, they're a scooters. These two huge human beings on these tiny little scooters riding around. Like the limes? What's that? Yeah, like the little Honda sprees or whatever they're out. Oh, gosh, you like an act like scooter. Yeah, like no, yeah, not a lime.

Right. Like an actual, like a, like a moped, right? And they're going to their favorite beach bar and they're listening to their favorite DJ with all the other, you know, It's like, it's basically the villages, right? But like not the village, not so communal. It's like, you know, there's just random beach bars. Yeah, this is their version. They're out there doing it.

But God bless. Listen, they look like they're having a hell of a time. And I can only hope that I'm married 34 years. I'll be 97 if I'm married 34 years. So I can only hope that I'm married 34 years, but I'll tell you what. I am having a ball following these two because it's just, do you know the guy, Vic Burger? Do you know Vic Burger is? Okay, he's on Tim Heideker's show.

He used to be like a cartoon network guy, an adult swim guy, right? By the way, adult swim 25 years old this month. Love adult swim. The best it ever was. Adult swim. I still Aquatine Hunger Force. Tim and Eric, awesome show, great job. Children's Hospital.

Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles. All of it. They're all classic. They're all classic. So Vic Burger is a guy who makes these weird videos that we get interspersed into adult swim. And now he's with Tim Heideker and The Office Hour Show, which is a popular podcast that I watched. Tim was from Tim and Eric Awesome Show.

Oh, yeah. Vic Burger makes really weird videos. He'll make like extended cuts of Trump and he like zooms in on like food falling out of Trump's mouth or a piece of hair and, you know, with weird noises and all this other stuff. They're like really weird comedy videos that he does. based on actual footage. It seems to be that Vic Berger and I have the exact same algorithm. Because anytime something weird comes up on my algorithm, it almost 100% of the time, it says, followed by Vic Berger.

Right? And so anytime that I see followed by Vic Burger, it's like an instant follow. I'm like, okay, if Vic's into it, then I'm into it, right? And he was following these people. And, I mean, there's not a ton of followers. How many followers do they have here? 2,000. But who's it followed by?

VigV-I-V-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-A-B-B-A-ha-ha-ha. So, thanks, Vic. Thanks for making my algorithm a little better. I think that Instagram thinks that we're the same person. And it's like, oh, if Vic likes it, then show it to Brian, because Brian will like it, too. And you know what? They're right.

Oh, wait. Oh, not that one. Banana. Okay, well, tomorrow, Chrissy and I, hopefully, we'll be back. Hopefully, we'll be back. On your birthday. On my birthday. Yeah.

We'll be back. We'll be live. We'll be streaming. That's September 2nd, in case you're not listening to this on September 1st. Chrissy and I will be back. And you can go check us out. Live streaming. YouTube.com slash the commercial break.

And then next week is a roll the dice. Kids, we don't know. We don't know. You might get a best of next week. Or actually, no, if we record tomorrow, you won't get a best of. Yeah. You'll just get old episodes. You'll just get episodes recorded a week earlier.

We try and make them timeless. We try and make them timeless. Our whole catalog is available. All 6,000 episodes. Available to you for free. Just listen to the commercials. Please visit our sponsors. I don't even know if we have sponsors.

Who knows? I don't know. I don't even know how that works. I gave up on that a long time ago. Yeah. What else did I want to say? I had something else to say, but now I can't remember what I was going to say. Hopefully all went well with Lance.

Yeah. Hopefully Lance is out of the open MRI and everything's okay with him. Yep. That's it. I don't know. Oh, I love my beautiful wife. I love my beautiful kids. Yes.

I love Bob. Got a beautiful house. Yeah. What's that from? Do we know? Do we know? Bottle Rocket, the movie. 30 years of Bottle Rocket.

It's the best. It's one of the best comedies ever put on film. If you haven't seen Bottle Rocket, Owen and Luke Wilson, it is what's his name's very first movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anderson, West Anderson. Wes Anderson's very first film, I mean, very first cinematic release film,

is Bottle Rocket was paid no attention to at the time. Me and my friend got a copy of the VHS for some strange reason. And you know what? We know it word for word. Bottle rocket. I love those. I love Bob. Got a beautiful house.

Yeah. All right. Okay. It's a lot. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram. You know how it goes. Hit us up there.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I love you. And I love you. Best you. Best to you. And best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience until next time. Chrissy and I will say.

We do say and we must say. Goodbye.