The Commercial Break - The Best Dump Cake In The World...Ever!

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

Bryan wonders wether the Oscars were THIS weekend or NEXT? (Clearly, another fact filled episode of TCB is on the way!). Spermidictine is a thing and it's being put in all the gift bags for A-list actors / actresses at the Oscars. Marketing is a weaponized art form helping to sell junk to all humans across time and space. If you want to be better, longer, harder, faster, stronger, slimmer and sexier marketing will help convince you this product can provide it. In the 1990's infomercials took marketing to a long form episodic T.V. presence. Bryan and Krissy review some of the most interesting infomercials and personalities from that decade. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The commercial break would like to take a few minutes to address some of the rumors and innuendos, and while it is our strict HR policy not to comment on personnel issues, we will be making a statement at this time. Earlier in the week, a drunk and belligerent, Gustavo came into the commercial break studios asking for a raise. It was at that point Gustavo was asked to leave the premises and refuse to do so. Gustavo was immediately fired from his job and relieved of his position. The commercial break thanks Gustavo for all of the

hard work and dedication over the years. Unfortunately we were unable to cite any instances of hard work or dedication. the years. Unfortunately, we were unable to cite any instances of hard work or dedication. His generally miserable attitude, his lax work ethic and his poor personal hygiene were noted several times on his HR file. We wish Gustavo! All the best on his future endeavors and we'll certainly give him a reference for future work as long as that work does not include actual work. That is all the comments we'll be making at this time and Happy Birthday Gustavo.

And now the commercial break presents this episode of the commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, I had this whole thing going on in my head for like half an hour last night. I would think there was a thing to kill this sperm. No, this is so that you can eat this sperm without actually guzzling a snorkelcock. Okay. This is so, you know, they say that sperm is like the only thing in the world. Jeff tells me it has many health benefits. I'm sure he does.

That's more than a lot of doctors make or lawyers. I've made $49,000 since November just by telling people to go to my website. It's all you have to do. Hey you go to my website I just made ten thousand dollars Is there anybody that thought twice about this? I mean the last thing I want to think about I think about I can take you to How's your dump can come

Mom, I really love him I really love him Don't you, you're a famous dumb cake. Can you make me an Oreo dumb cake? Oh, yeah. I need a pound dumb cake. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go and yet another episode of this, the commercial break. Let's get right into it. A couple of weeks ago, there was the Oscars. It was? It was.

Wait, was it the Oscars or the Grands? No. No, it was the Oscars. The Oscars are coming up. No, the Oscars already happened. No, yeah. They're coming up. They did?

Yeah. I think. I think. I think. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Hold on, one second. I'm in contention. I keep seeing stuff about it. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Hold on one second. I'm pretty sure that they already happened.

I'm just gonna make sure here. Thanks for joining us. I get another episode of the commercial break. Best of you, everybody out there in the podcast world. Yeah, no, they have not happened. No, they didn't happen. Okay. The nomination something happened. They happened on the... They're coming up. Yeah, they happened't happen Okay, the nomination

They happen on yeah, they happen this weekend, right? I mean this weekend as we're recording this yeah, maybe March 27th 2022 Okay, so if you're listening to this before March 27th I'm getting to be listening to this much after like the fact check things. Okay. Yeah, I like to fact check things right here on air Yeah, but just so you know, there's a little break coming up for Chrissy and I, so we're recording a few of these ahead of time, you'll actually hear this after the Oscar. Okay, so they did have it. So yes, though.

Yes. I didn't know if you were signaling to me like, they go with it. Yes, they are. Go with it. Go with it, they already have. Well, now that, thanks for turning off the commercial break. Thanks for tuning in and then back out of the commercial break. Check us out again.

Check us out again. Press fast forward by 15 seconds and we should be through this part of the show. So the Oscars just happened as you're listening to it, but not yet for us here in the studio. Right, we got another winners. But whether or not we know the winners, I wanted to let you know that they are giving these, what they call like, you know, premier handbags out again, the packages. Oh right, there's gifts bags.

They give these, like only the A-list stars. That's right. And then everybody who attends the Oscars gets like this, you know, it's probably got a key chain in it, and it's sticker or something like that. Right. And you know, plastic wine glass with Oscars. And then, you know, then there's like then there's like this other step up level

where you probably get like a thousand or two thousand dollars with the gift cards and creams and lotions and cushions. Oh yeah, so those things are worth a lot of money. Yeah, and what they do is that these companies give out this free shit in hopes that the stars will then shout them out for one reason. Right, not wear it, they'll be seen wearing it. Correct. And sometimes they get ridiculous things,

like Rolex, and you know, keys to new cars, and all this other shit. But this year, you know, there's a lot of crazy stuff in the bag, but one of the things that stuck out to me as they're talking about what's gonna be in these bags is spermitacine. Oh. Spermitacine.

Stelt exactly like it sounds. Sperm, I, Dacine. Uh-huh. Spermitacine. It kills the, eye, dacene. Spurmidacene. It kills the sperm. That's spermicide. Yeah. But spermidacene, I had to look this up

because I'm like, what the fuck is spermidacene? And there's a whole, there's a company that does nothing but produce spermidacene. And it's supposed to have all these wonderful health benefits. And I'm thinking to myself this whole time when I'm researching this, looking at this website. I'm like, they are literally taking jizz and they are making it into pill powder format.

Oh, it's the actual sperm. So, thing, well, that's what I thought. I made this whole thing going on in my head for like half an hour last night. I would think there was a debuted kill this sperm. No, this is so that you can eat this sperm without actually guzzling a snorkelcock. Okay.

This is so, you know, they say that sperm is like the only thing in the world. Jeff tells me in his many health benefits. I'm sure he does. He's got, he puts it on posted notes on your mirror. Like some of you know, some people say, I love you with the post and he's like negative calories. Good for your hair. Makes your nails grow strong. But there, there you know there are apparently health benefits. It's the only

Substance only food in the world. It's not really a food But it's the only substance in the world that has negative calories. It'll actually take away calories from your body That's what keeps telling me this I'm not on our presenters correct, but I roll with it Hey, honey, we got that beach trip coming up. Right. So this is what I think. Interesting. And nowhere on the website does it explain

exactly what spermitocene is. And I'm like, what in the fuck is spermitocene? But it talks as if it's come, right? It's like, you know, this all natural, you know, thing is one of the world's most healthy substances, you know, known for secrets for millions of years. It's like this, let's say. The secret of the puzzle.

Yeah, that's right. Let's see. The puzzle puzzle has been put together. We figured out how to dry jizz. Make it delicious. This is a powder board. Put it in your coffee in the morning. Yeah, I like to drink this maybe. I got my I'm buying green for

spermitacine. For years I drank my coffee with cream. But now I use spermitacine. Spermitacine all natural. All natural giz squeezed from a thousand cocks dried and hand-roathed and one whale, one whale puzzle, one large jizz by a whale. So what it actually is is it's wheat germ that's the type of wheat germ. But you have to go pretty deep into the website to find this.

I think, yeah. And if you had a company that was in fact working on this amazing, you know, new natural technology, you know, this natural thing called spermitacine. Yeah. I lost my pen here. Spirmitacine. Why in the world would you call it spermitacine? You would call it something else, right?

And it just got. Kind of different shape themselves. Yeah. Yeah, what? Yeah, that's, it's just a name. Brandy. They keep the name, of course they do. It's on fucking purpose. And I knew it from the moment that I saw it,

but I had to do a little research on it, it's spermitocene. And it's already having the intended effect because there's a bunch of articles out there about spermitocene being in the bags of these ladies. So spermitoc being in the bags of these ladies. So spermitine got me thinking about the long, I guess the long crafted art of marketing, right? Yes, we've both been in the biz.

Been in the biz, know the tricks, understand it, maybe better than most. And I know that, know Clickbait what you clickbait pretty pictures sex Interesting names. Yeah, all this stuff sells it makes you may you want to make it sound like the newest latest greatest most exciting Psychological, that's right. Does it better? Does it faster? Does it quicker makes you sexier makes you thinner makes you richer? Whatever it is. This has been going on at notes. All of your dreams come true.

It's for monocene. In the 90s, and there's many different ways to market, right? It's been magazines that were, you know, kind of like the snake oil salesman back in the day. Newspaper print, magazines, radio, television, now billboards, and then now the internet, and the Metaverse, of course, the Metaverse, which will be in pretty soon. If you haven't heard of that episode, you will soon.

So it just triggered something in me. I am a kid that grew up in the 90s. And I mean, I had my formative years in the 90s, my teenage years, in the 90s. And back in the 90s, my teenage years, in the 90s. And back in the 90s, they really, like, were coming out of the television age and into the computer age. But one last gasp of air on the television age of marketing was infomercials. Oh, yeah.

And they were everywhere in the 90s. They got to remember, this was before Netflix or Hulu or any of that shit, television commercials were a way of life. You had to watch them. There was no way to get around it unless you literally video recorded it in fast forward or rewound or whatever it was. So late at night, really all day long,

but at late at night, most of the major television stations would take money to run hour long or half hour long format Info-marshals to sell you one product or the other. Oh, yeah cooking Fitness all kinds of anything all kind of psychic reading psychic readings I mean, but they wouldn't be like dating 30 second-commert dating how to get sexier summer real estate was a hot one They'd have these guys that would you know this is still going on to the state. It's just on the internet now, but they'd have these guys who never did

a real estate deal in their life, but they were teaching you how to do real estate deals for no money down and no risk and no one but ever. It's not true, it never happened. No one ever makes it like that. It's all bullshit. I know because I work in the real estate industry. It's all horseshit.

I work in the real estate industry and I got into the real estate industry because one of somebody close to me took one of those get work in the real estate industry and I got into the real estate industry because One of somebody close to me took one of those get rich quick real estate seminars Yeah, and we quickly figured out that you cannot get rich quick first of all second of all you have to of course You have to have money of course there are risks it and you have to teach yourself no one can teach you how to do it So we went there and learned what not to do and then we went okay and kind of Kind of successfully. We didn't go bankrupt, I guess that's the best news. But yet, I'm still in business.

Yeah, so yet is the answer to that. So I wanted to go back and revisit some of the info commercials that I saw in the 90s. So I went and I dug around for some interesting info commercials that we can take a listen to. So I went and I dug around for some interesting info commercials that we can take a listen to. You interested in this? I am. And I'm just getting right to it because we got a lot of content today to get to.

Let me, let me, don't know. I know that was one of our reviews too that we don't actually get through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone left a review that you know, it's not a radio show. You don't have to stop at the hour. It's like, you can go a little longer.

Just finish the actual video. You're watching because I think they were pissed that we did a Frankie B video while ago. You know, it was the Teresa Caputo. Oh, Teresa. They wanted more of that. We're excited too. At the time, we should do another.

I still got it loaded up here. We'll get back to it. I promise. So does someone have a leg. Does someone have a leg? Is there a leg in the audience? She was on the Anderson Cooper. You can go and you can, uh, you can, let's do it. Is someone have a leg? Is someone have a leg? Is there a leg in the audience? She was on the Anderson Cooper, you can go and you can, let's do it.

Okay, so what should we start with first? Let me, let's ease into this. Dipper toe? Yeah, Dipper toe. First and foremost, we're just talking about spermitacine. Natural homeopathic bow bullshit has been on the radar of infomercials for years. I mean, that's probably the oldest thing that's advertised.

Like you said, snake oil earlier, the latest greatest potions. I think cocaine was... cocaine was advertised to heroin. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean Coca-Cola was cocaine. That's why it's named Coca-Cola because it had cocoa powder in it. And if you go to the Coca-Cola Museum to this day, you can see bottles of Coca-Cola

with the liquid still in them, bottles of Coca-Cola from back when it first originated, when the doctor, whatever his name was, Dr. Pepper made the Dr. Pepper. I think I wasn't that one. I mean, I don't know, it was not. Oh. I don't know, just to make it chill out. But the doctor who made this up, he made it, he made Coca-Cola the formula as an anti-hate medication, anti-pain medication. Yeah, I don't give you a little pep in your stomach. Yeah, of course it would. Yeah, but people were getting addicted to that shit.

They were like, I didn't like Coca-Cola. So let's take a look at a vitamin. Also, just take a step back here. Also, vitamins and supplements have been, they've really been susceptible to Ponzi scheme-like activities also. Like those MLMs. That's how most of these powders, pills, and forms,

you know, they claim everything in the world. They do everything in the world. The truth is they're just like egg protein. That's all most of these powders, pills, and forms, you know, they claim everything in the world, they do everything in the world. The truth is, they're just like egg protein. That's all it is. It's always the same bullshit. It's never anything, but you too can become a millionaire. I didn't feel the best you've ever felt, if you buy our video. And it's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break. It's so fucking meta, I can't even stand it. I wanted to let you know that Chrissy and I are going to be doing the TCB summer games when this summer. And if you'd like to be a part of the games

that we're intending to play, give us a shout, 661-237-8296. That's 661, best the number two, L-I-O-Yo. We're looking for singles. We're looking for people willing to play TCB trivia and all kind of game shows. Give us a shout on the phone line or go to tcbpodcast.com and drop us an email at the contact us form. You can also listen to all the audio and watch all the video right from tcbpodcast.com. Catch us on the socials at the commercial break on Instagram and if you would, go to our YouTube channel slash the commercial break

If you'd like to see any of the clips that we run each and every day and now Presenting full episodes two days after the released on the podcast. That's right now full episodes available two days after the audio version Sometimes people write in and they ask us hey, how can we help the commercial break? Two things, use our sponsors, specialize URL's or codes when you're in the market for their products or services. They give you discounts and free shit and in return, you tell our sponsors, we're doing our job.

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So here's one that ran back in the 90s that I remember is called the greatest vitamin ever in the world ever. That's literally the name of the vitamin. It's greatest vitamin in the world ever. Okay. Now what you see on the screen here, youtube.com slash the commercial break if you want to follow along clips every single day of the week we released this episode two days after we released the audio episode.

What you're going to see here is you're going to see two incredibly busty women with their boobs hanging way out, talking about how they made millions of dollars selling the greatest vitamin in the world. Let's take a listen. The greatest. Okay, I get 20 people to agree to go to my website. Oh my god. I'm sorry. Look at her shirt. Look at that. I could not stop staring at this girl's boobs yesterday. Wow. It's buttons, but the buttons are way down. That shirt does not fit her in any stretch. Yeah, that's a button-up shirt and half of it is unbuttoned and it couldn't be buttoned if you wanted to. Yeah, look how big and fake those boobs are. They are just two balloons almost. When do I get paid? Every Friday. Look at this girl. Right, she's got it too.

She's got it too. And so it checks to everyone who earned it the week prior. This is probably the easiest money I've ever made. It's $12,000 and five hours. This is probably the easiest money I've ever made. Yeah. Up me. You too can make $12,000 in five hours just like Jim did.

This is probably the easiest money I ever did. They told me to suck a couple of cocks I did. It was great money. Okay, let's read the five pranks. It says many of these people have made even more money since the show. Some may have purchased optional support programs. Optional support program.

Unique experience results will vary. What they're who they're talking to here If these people are even real, you know, yeah, I'll have script. They're all scripting Yeah, those are real people if it is even real These are the first four people in the company, right? These are the first four people in the MLM because the fuck to people at the very top If you make the box. Yeah, you make money. Mm-hmm hour That's more than a lot of doctors make it lawyers. I've made $49,000 since November, just by telling people to go to my website.

So. So all you have to do, hey, you go to my website. I just made $10,000. It's like these signs you see on the side of the road. Now hiring real estate trainee, five to $10,000 a week. And they work, or they wouldn't continue to put them out there. Here's a nice looking gentleman.

What did you have to say? Before I've made over $30,000 and with it, I've been able to pay college. I've been able to put away money for savings. I've been able to go to the store, go shopping. He might be just been money on his team. He's a helpful family. Yeah. Yeah well I mean poor guy. It's got to do a lot with $30,000. I paid for college. I bought a new car. I have season tickets to the bulls. I took a trip around the world about a jet.

I've got two sugar mommas. I've got two sugar babies. I bought this shirt, I got this haircut, got these new glasses, got new carpet in my house. All for 30,000. Put all new toilets, all four bathrooms, all for 30,000. That's money I ever spent. It's completely changed my life. Oh, we've got an actor playing a doctor. But this is a real doctor. Are you sure?

I'm 100% sure, because I found her. And because they put her name up here. Her name is Dr. Tonya Hudson or something. And I found her, she's in Seattle. She's a homeopathic doctor, is what she is. She's certified by Jim. Yeah, she's certified by Bob Bob's

Institute of sex I love how you wear the stethoscope to round this girl she looks like a 12-year-old look at her hands They're tiny youtube.com slash the commercial break subscribe Team we thought he was joking when he said spare no expense and assemble whatever research was necessary to create the greatest vitamin Spare no expense! I want to get a spare no expense under $10,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spare a bit of the world. I want to change people's life. I want to sell it and then get other people to sell it. I am this conversation a lot in my own personal life, Jersey. Spare no expense. Brian, it's life, Jersey. It's fair, no expense.

Brian, it's me, Mr. Franchise. Oh, hey Mr. Franchise, what's up? I've got an idea. I want you to spare no expense. I want you to create a vitamin that's literally going to change people's lives, make them bigger, faster, stronger, six-year thinner, and is going to give them money for college, a brand-new car. An airport. I don't know what to do. That wasn't by over the airplane. dinner and is going to give them money for college a brand new car an airport I don't know I don't buy you over the airplane I wouldn't be able to buy an airport

you're now Brian yes mr. franchise I will spare no expense and by the way you're now a doctor he's off to. I'm a doctor of homieobanny. I'm sending your certificate in the mail. In addition to that, you're the CEO of my brand new business. Jesus, I How can we go wrong? What can happen? We're improving people's lives inside and out. Oh, sitting here is a dead again. Sitting here is a never gonna be a FedEx. I can't afford overnight. It'll be there in a couple days. But spare no expense. Spare no expense. Say, put it on your credit card. I'll pay you back.

That's it. What's your Venmo? I think I miss spelled your name. I'm gonna do tomorrow. Bye. Oh my god. We had never had so much unlimited freedom to create a formula this complete. We took over a hundred years of research experience from our formulation team and we put it

into one formula. I want you to get your experience together the formulation team My wife and our best friend They're busy now they're in the back of the hot tub drinking wine, but they have a hundred years of nutrition experience between them Isn't your wife in her 20s? Well, it might not be exactly 100 years, but it's close! They're the new formulation team!

Can I talk to the formulation team? Nope, they're busy! Always busy! They're formulating! They're formulating! No, they're too busy, much too busy formulating! Besides, you're the doctor now, you make the call! There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you.

There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. There are too many of you. Besides, you're the doctor now.

Besides, you're the doctor now. You make the call. Can I get a hold of that research? Can I get a hold of that research? Yeah. Can I get a hold of that research? Yeah. Can I get a hold of that research?

Yeah. Can I put it in the mail. Can I put it in the mail. Can I put it in the mail. Can I put it in the mail. Can I put it in the mail. Can I put it in the mail. Just trust me. Here's the formula two parts flour one But it in a capsule it doesn't matter everyone's gonna get rich with you spend a thousand dollars. I'm giving 500 of it to the next guy What could go wrong? I did the math myself Thanks, mr. franchise. Oh, he's so nice the general way that I can explain we should call he's mr. MLM That's who he is. Oh, he's so nice. The better way that I can explain it. We should call him Mr. MLM. That's who he is. Yeah, he's a different guy. Yeah.

Okay. This is if you had the world's leading research team at your disposal, then someone came to you and asked you to create the ultimate product for the body, you would end up with the greatest vitamin in the world. Look at how big her boots got using the... It's vitamin in the world. Would I lie to you, Mr. M. L. L.? Of course not.

Hey, I did some research and I got some expenses. Do you think you could pay me back for those? Sure, no problem. Just tell 20 of your friends to go to your website. I sent up a website for you. So Candace, she's the one with the big boobs. That's the formulation team right there. Tit left and tit right. Those tits are huge.

I know. Oh my god. Now all I do is get 20 new people to agree to try these vitamins and I get paid $1,000. Yes, and the best part is selling. Yes. Yes. Any selling. Just try it.

The best part is you don't have to do any selling. Just try it. That's the part. Listen, I had this guy. God love him. Yeah, I kind of, I think I've told this. I've considered him a mentor in my life and he was an owner of one of the rest, a fine dining restaurant that I worked for. And this-

The one that would give the keyanti? No, that's not a one of the things. Yeah, that's the other way. He was a telling guy. I don't even think you know what it, I didn't even know what like television was. He would literally, he was from the old days. I mean, he, he probably had one of those rate, like tune in radio, like the old ones in the box. So this guy, he was just, he was slick. He was a slick talking guy. I know that he made a lot of money. His daughter was actually very disabled,

but he was the best, sweetest father. And I just love this guy, but he was into all this fucking horseshit. And every time he'd get into a new product or service, he was one time selling egg white protein that was gonna change your life. And he could tell him, I take two cups of this in the morning.

I watch him, take it. I take two cups of this and I watch him, take it. I take two cups of this in the morning, I feel amazing. Right, and he got me to go to these fucking meetings get on the phone. There's some people that there's a serial who can all-in, people, yeah. That's what he was, he was a serial.

And you see him a lot, like every once in a while, I'll stalk him online. And you see him, he's like the director of whatever for the new company. And then two years later, the direct, because he's one of the ones that makes a bunch of fucking money. But he'd always try and get me roped into this

and he'd be on a phone call with this dude and that girl and whatever. And they'd be on the call. Yeah, get me on the call. That's right. And they'd always say the same thing. You don't have to do any selling, Brian. You're perfect for this.

It sells itself. It sells itself. You just have to talk to people like you normally do. Yeah. Hey, how would you like your steak cooked? Have you ever heard of the greatest vitamin in the world? Just go to my website. By a thousand dollars worth.

And you do will be rich. You just send people to your website and the website educates the people. It takes the order and it does everything for you. At first my wife thought it was just another little thing that I got into, but it's just not cool. At first my wife thought it was just another little thing that I got into but it's a short story. At first my wife was thinking it was another one of these things I was spending all my

money on, like gambling and prostitutes, Greco came. But once I explain it, no, it's a website that makes money by itself. It's the greatest vitamin in the world. It's the greatest vitamin in the world. You don't even have to tell people about it literally I walk around with a shirt with the website address and I'm making a $30,000 an hour The checks out of the mailbox. I mean the checks kept coming and coming and coming and That's the spirit Terrence

The checks keep coming and coming and coming We're sending out a 59 cent check right now serens The checks keep coming and coming and coming We're sending out a 59 cent check right now And your bill for next month's orders $3,000 you're making money now, Terrence Don't ever stop kid You've got that greatest vitamin in the world's spirit. That's all we're looking for. Oh, it was the other way. Oh, it was it. I forget.

It's like Loon 11, only shitty over. What was it? Now I can't remember. Loon 11. It's R with an L. Yeah, it's Lola. Lola? Lola?

Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola?

Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? Lola? 11 only shitty over. What was it now I can't remember? It's just our little L. Yeah, it's Lola. Lula Ro. Lula Ro. Lula Ro. I've heard a little Lula Ro. I've their newest salesperson, Mr. M. L. M.

I earned $6,000 and all I did was tell people to go to my website. That's it. I mean, in the first few weeks, I've made over $7,500 and that's just beyond what my wildest dreams ever were when I started. This had to be the easiest $6,000 I've ever made. That's right, you just sit. Oh, I can't do it. Brian, just tell them to sit back and relax and watch the chicks come rolling in This has to be the easiest 75 thousand dollars I've ever made because my dad mortgage to south to buy

90 thousand dollars worth of products Hey dad I got this new vitamin. Keep you alive forever. You mind if I'm remorcaing the house? Thanks, Dad. Your father has dementia. So if I get set up as an independent advertiser, the company supplies me with my own website and everything I need, right? Exactly.

And if you were to get 100 new people to try the vitamin in any given month, not only do you get paid $5,000, a thousand on every 20 new people, you also get paid a $5,000 bonus check. You're selling me a hundred and fifty thousand people sign up and I get sixteen dollars and twenty-five cents. Where do I sign? You sign right here and by the way, we take a small deposit of $10,000. That's just to cover expenses. And every time you give us $10,000, we give it to someone else. It's called a money pass.

Oh my god, this is hard shit. Wait a minute. If I get 100 new people in the month of July, you have to pay me $10,000. I mean, a hundred new people to buy a vitamin. Do you know? A hundred people. I don't know a hundred people.

I barely know 20. And they're listening to the podcast right now. Hey guys, you want to buy the greatest body man world? I'm going back to 1999 and building myself a website In 1999 no one even knew what a website was. Yeah, this is kind of like, you know, it's on the cuss Man, I'm telling you what they did this right and I'm telling you why they did this right is because there's about six seconds of people actually talking about what they do to make money and 30 minutes of these two girls going tit to tit. They are going to each other. These two girls have incredible breasts.

I mean, they're incredible. They're beautiful, they're huge. And they're just right in front of the camera. I mean, and they're intelligent, obviously, intelligent women, but I don't think they're great actors. Yeah, I don't think a wardrobe made a mistake on this one. Well, she's probably the fucking vice president of the sales. Yeah, she's talking.

I haven't identified her. Yeah, she's drinking the Kool-Aid. And the other girl is the formulation department. All you have to do. Let me tell you this. I'm telling you, if you get an additional 5 1,000 people signed up, we're going to give you a $500.

Wait, you're telling me that if I get the first 20 people signed up, I get $1,000, then 5,000 additional people, I get another $20, and if I add 500 people, you're going to give me a $300 bonus. Yep. That's right. You'll be making that easy. That is a No time. We're exciting. After we gave away over a million dollars to our independent advertisers, we realized we haven't even reached 1% of the population. So we got together and discussed

away. We could get each person 50 times more excited. Okay, how many times more exciting? That's when... That's when we started our little blue pill giveaway. That's right, bring an additional 50 people in and we'll give you one of these blue pills. You'll be 50 times as excited in an hour. It's the best boner medication in the world. Okay, so you get it, right? All right, okay. We got plenty to get through. I'm going to listen to our fans and get on with the next one.

Okay. Kathy was a famous lady that sold cookware. All kinds of different cookware. She would sell little flat-on, cookbooks, but this wasn't like Julia Child's kind of cookbooks. This was like, throw anything in the refrigerator into a pan, mix it up. Right, whatever you've gotten your friends. I've got a recipe for everything.

Yeah. You ready? Let's listen to Kathy. She tells us about her brand new cookbook. Look at that. I learned how to do that. I think that's pretty cool. YouTube.com, so let's talk about your break.

Making for the holidays can be a frustrating time-consuming task, and I should know with a big family at long hours in the kitchen. Here's the solution. My dump cake. Dump cakes. Here's my solution. Dump cakes. Dump cakes.

What I've got 16 of my children back home for Christmas, I don't know what to do. I will have a good dump cake. The toilet always get clog for Christmas, I don't know what to do. I will have a good dog cake. The toilet always get clogged and I didn't know what to do. Why make that go to waste? Brand new, Kathy Baker's dumb cakes. Look at this recipe. Some shit, some more shit and cherries. Put it in the oven at 400 degrees and the whole house smells like Christmas.

Put it in the oven at 400 degrees and the whole house smells like Christmas Tom cakes That's the worst name ever Is there anybody that thought twice about this? I mean the last thing I want to think about I think about cake is taking a dump How's your dump cake, honey? Mom, I'd really love him. Bissi, no, I really love him. Don't you're famous dump cake. Can you make me an Oreo dump cake?

I need a pound dump cake. I just see coming home with all your friends. Hey man, what's in the friends. Oh, it's dump cakes Your mom's fucked up man. She's into scatter what's going on? Oh Me and your dad are making some cupcakes Like three year olds, we can't stop laughing on the word Dump. It is a horrible name. Horrible. And it, trust me, in the way she makes these cakes, it's just as bad, wait, so you can see

this. Easy and delicious holiday recipes, so yummy. It's so simple, just dump and bake for the best Just dump and make just dump a cake just squat dump and bake What comes with a box of my view so you'll dump dump dump your way into the holiday season. Oh my God, she's pouring all kinds of stuff in there. She just pours a bunch of shit in there and just, it takes it. Yeah, I think she's pouring like cake mix.

She's pouring, you know, cherries, lemons and all this shit and then cake mix. It just grows. By the way, I see a lot, you know, I've seen a lot of cookbooks in my life and I've been to a lot of places where they make sweets. I've never seen anyone use the dumb cake method. No. Here's my holiday fruit cake. Start with some cherry pie filling and canned fruit cocktail.

Jump on a chocolate cake mix and pour on a cherry cola. That's just baked. Oh, holiday cake. Oh, your guess. Oh, that looks like a dumb cake. Yeah, looks like a cherry. She said poor cherries Fruit and then and then the cake mix and then a cherry cola. What about the milk in the eggs?

Anything else there just cherry That's good The dumb cake going in is dumb cake going out. Yeah The dumb kid going in is dumb kid going out. Yeah, it looks good. Or whip up these festive layer bars. Watch how easy. Melt some butter and sprinkle on some graham cracker crumbs. Add sweetened condensed milk, coconut, rice, crispy chocolate chips, and eminams.

Have a look. You'll love it. You're perfect for a holiday party. Overnight guests? Treat them to this crispy, crispy coffee bag. There you go. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for coming. I put some dog shit on a plate for you. I call it Kathy's Dumcakes. Over and I guess you don't want back? Make them some Dumcakes. How about this festive Christmas tree shaped dump? Every Kathy's Dumcake book book comes with it. every cat he's dump cake book book comes with it

with a mold with a Christmas tree mold just squat you can be anything anything in this Christmas tree say I mean anything oh my god Kathy she's putting syrup in there I have no butter and syrup the layer on a tube of biscuits. In minutes, you'll have fresh, warm breakfast cake. Oh, I love that. Oh, goodness.

And get rave reviews on this pumpkin becandiser. Easier than pie with no crust roll out. How about these brownies with a peppermint twist? Oh, God, I hate when they put peppermint candy on a fucking brownie. Oh, disgusting. This goes on for a half an hour. This goes on for a half an hour.

This goes on for 30 fucking minutes. This lady, she basically gives away the entire- I surprise this didn't sweep the nation. I mean, it might have. I don't know. I haven't seen a dumb gig, but it costs a lot of money to put these things on TV. You're spending a couple million bucks

if you're going infomercial even back then. For sure. So this lady, by the way, is very famous. She has a ton of infomercials. She was like the queen of kitchen infomercials. Kathy. Kathy, I can't believe Dump Cakes was one of her hotter sellers, but you'd ever know. All right.

Now, you ready for the creme de la creme of infomercials? Bring it out, wheel it out. We're always make money, get rich quick, right? Real estate, tax bonds, blah, blah, blah. There was a guy, his name was Tommy Vu, Tom Vu. He came from Vietnam, his family had nothing. I give a guy credit here, his family had nothing. He didn't even know how to read or write.

They were homeless this whole nine yard. Okay. And he ended up having an info-mercial kingdom. He had He had info marshals flying left and right for a long time. He's one of these guys who sells you, doesn't sell you real estate. He teaches you how to buy and sell real estate. Right. Now he'll just show you the steps. I've always said a good teacher, a good teacher doesn't actually know that that's right. He makes it up on the flyer. He teaches you how to do it. Yeah. I've always said that the guys who lose money in real estate

end up coaching real estate, right? That's how it goes, because there's money to be made in the coaching. And I mean big money to be made in coaching. There is big money. So here you go. I want to give this to you. Tommy Vue, late night real estate in Fomarshal King.

If you know how. Take a look at the 6,800 square foot mansion. I just picked up from bankruptcy court for only 436 deal night. Just one deal night is you could retire. Tom Vue says he says I picked this up for $436. I picked this up for $4 and thirty six dollars now you too can By the way, I was a sprawling mansion. It was it looks like an office building. Yeah

Look at office building. By the way, these guys who you know, this was popular in the 90s too. It was called Appeared to be before B. Right. That means thank you before you make it before you make it You would rent a big yacht, you would get pretty girls, you would have fast cars, none of which you owned, at all, because you weren't rich yet. You were just trying to sell your course. To get rich. But it made you feel like this guy knew what he was talking about.

If you have no money or no credit to buy property, don't worry about it. And he has no worries. You got no money, no credit? No credit, no credit cards, no house to live in. Don't worry. I got you covered. Let me explain how. First, come to my real estate seminar in the holiday in on Shabuigan Boulevard at 2PM this Saturday. Bring your checkbook. Oh, wait, you don't have any money. That's okay. Let's get you started with something easy. I'm gonna show you this book for $59.99. Read that book completely. And then come to my seminar on Shabuigan Avenue, 2PM on Saturday at the holiday in.

That's how they did it. They got you roped in and they'd have something for every level. Couldn't afford to get in on the big stuff, 59.99. You need a little bit of personal coaching. Here's my phone number. You can call my team anytime for $1,000. You want personal, Tommy, Voo training. You want to go on my yacht with me?

$100,000. This is still done to this day. Oh my god. Still done. It's ways to tie up good deals without using your own cash or credit. I know a lot of you are saying, well fine, you can find lots of foreclosures or other bargain properties in town. So you can pick up to make to make some money.

But the problem is, where would you find a capital to buy these properties to make a lot of money, right? But don't worry about it. In my seminar, I will show you a way to tie up the prisminer. And my seminar. Don't worry about a thing. In my seminar, I'm gonna teach you everything. Well, I'm gonna teach, okay, I'm not gonna teach you anything because that comes after you're right to check. But at my seminar, I'll talk just like I'm talking right now. I'll hype you up. In my seminar, you'll get an exact carbon copy of this commercial, only I'll help you up in my seminar. You'll get an exact carbon copy of this commercial. Only I'll be in person

That's how it happens Your own capital so you can go out and make a lot of money without using any of your own money Like you I thought it took $1,000 to make For those of you that can't see this the guy's getting with a computer. He's got a poster behind him It says Canada. At a fudge plant or a palm plant. And he's holding.

It's such a joke. Is that weird? He's holding a bunch of papers. I see like a travel agency. I assume that's what he works at. He's going. Yeah, he's going places. No, no.

Either he's going places or he's the travel agent. Right, right. I assume he's the travel agent. Right, right. I assume he's the travel agent. Okay. Damn it, I learned how for a few hundred dollars, you can tie up numerous properties like these circles and make it lots of. I circled this thing on this piece of paper. You can barely see fifteen feet away to make you feel official.

Money. American history is filled with success stories of people who started out with a few hundred dollars and made millions. Spun it in the gold. Spun it in the gold. And those people were all real estate coaches. People are content with what they have. That's why there's plenty of room for you if you want to make it to the top.

Some of you have parents or grandparents who will talk all their life. Some of you have parents. Come down to my seminar. I've got two ladies next to me. Some of you have parents. Full stop. Come on down. Yeah, look at all these ladies sitting around. The 90s were so showvinistic. We're not that far removed from this. I know.

And retire with almost nothing. You don't have to be like them. You don't have to be like your parents. They're about your worth. That's all they were doing. It's me, Mr. Real Estate. Your parents are useless. Files some money from them.

Come to my Real Estate some money from them. Come to my real estate somewhere else. Ooh, money-making system has turned dreams into reality from many people. According to a recent syndicated article appearing in hundreds of newspapers nationwide, the totally illicit syndicated article means he paid for it. Or is reportedly the most popular one offered. And many fortunes have been launched by attendees who are inspired by the Tom Vue seminar. Ha! Ha!

My fortune was launched! My fortune was launched! Hi! I'm Brian Green, and my fortune was launched right here at this seminar. Now I too can afford my own Starbucks coffee every morning and I've got this 1996 Toyota Corolla in my driveway. I was able to buy this Pac-Man shirt with no money down. You know I did it, I stole it.

The best thing about my real estate money making system is you don't have to quit your job. I can show you how to stock out part time and when you make enough money in real estate You can start that they can do all of this. Oh Part time. Listen, this is easy convenient. There's no must know Just dig through thousands of Sticks through thousands of homes that are for sale in foreclosure or might be for sale. Go knocking on those doors every two to three hours. Sign up a contract, find a lender

that will hand you money. Could you all the work? It's like, you could do all this part time. But yeah, yeah, you could do all the quicker job. No. You don't have to quit your job, they'll fire you. Yeah. That you can collect unemployment. Now you're in the money. Now we're talking. It's so true. I mean, I've had people pull me in and please just go and get on this call and please cover

this seminar. You'll see. You'll see. I mean, it's all the same. No, you don't have to do anything. We don't have to do anything. No, you don't have to do anything. No, you don't have to.

That's it. I mean, do you just... Are you a good talker? Are you a people person? Yeah, I can tell that you are. I can tell you're a great communicator. You've got the look The look the feel Yes, you got it all you were born to sell egg protein You were born to make millions with no money down. It doesn't happen like that.

I'm telling you right now, take it from Christianize. Take lessons from Christianize failures. This is not real. It doesn't happen like this. You cannot make a million dollars in happen like this. You cannot, you cannot make a million dollars in an MLM. You cannot, I mean, maybe you can if you get in super early. And there are lots of MLMs that sell perfectly legitimate products. Right? I'm not saying that every MLM out there is a scam. But some of them are not. But if you're way down the chain, you're not

going to make any money ever. It's theoretically impossible, mathematically impossible. Yeah, you mean, she said, the lady said in the last one, she said, we've only reached one percent of humanity, or less than one percent. The truth is, is that less than one percent of humanity is interested in the greatest vitamin in the world, or being a part of their thousand dollar payment program. Right. Right. Tommy Vue, are there people who buy money with no real estate?

Yes, because they have equity partners who give them the money and then they give most of the profit back to the equity partner. And that's it if you happen to make a profit and good luck with that because that's exactly what it's all about. Luck, it's luck. There's an old saying about real estate.

You need two million dollars to get to make money in real estate. You want to know why? Because you lose the first million and the second million, you use smartly. That's it. That's it. And it's true.

It's 100% true. Job, you can come back and tell your boss, goodbye. Think about all the days. Tommy Voodoo made a say good bye to you. Oh, you're leaving Brian. That's right I went to the Tommy Voodoo seminar this weekend and he told me to kiss your ass. Kiss my ass and kiss his ass. I'm out of here Today's later Say remember when I told you to kiss your ass. I really didn't mean all that stuff I lost all my up. Yeah.

I lost all my money on the Tommy Vood seminar. So the check cleared to Tommy Vood, and I don't have any money. You might have worked here for a couple more days until I get those millions. You have my deal. Your boss jeladu and you got mad. Did it help you, Annie?

Nothing. Let me tell you a new way, okay? Next time when you're job, you're boss yelling at you for nonsense stuff. Don't get mad. Get even by determined to be rich, my friend. Get rich is the best revenge. Anybody here agrees to say that? I've shown you. We've really shown up clear channel. That's right. Yeah. We got even. We got even. got even look at us now literally broadcasting the hundreds of people on 967 the legend I was broadcasting to tens of people on sim col fm. I was broadcasting to 20s of people here hundreds

Yeah, I'm literally making hundreds of dollars a year on this podcast take that Who got the last left now clear channel Simon Gulbadiya look at me now oil sales been indeed As tries we might we never get through it Oh my god. Oh, as tries we might, we never get through it. I know. Well, it's just too funny. It's too funny.

I know. We got to stop and talk about it. Or else it's not a podcast. It's just me re-running Tommy Vood's seminar. Come on. Which got to defeat the point of my point, I guess. Oh, man. Okay, we will get back to InfoMersals's I promise there's lots of Tommy Bruce content out there and

We'll do it. Don't worry infomercial's once a quarter because there are so many to go over. Oh, yeah, so many to go over TCB podcast.com is where you go you find out more by Chrissy You're born to make money on MLM Egg protein. Look at you. You're a natural natural All you have to do is talk to people about the product sells itself. I mean That's it. Hey, hey, so what do you think about egg protein? The fuck is that? It's this powder that makes you stronger, I think? I don't know. You should energy. I got a whole, I got a whole whole way full of boxes though if you want some.

Tell you what, try it out, send me some money if you like it. That's, that's your tell me I got to get rid of it. Tcbpodcast.com is where you go, you listen to all the audio, you watch all the video right there from one location, tcbpodcast.com. If you're interested in seeing us, youtube.com slash the commercial break, we put out new clips of these episodes every day of the week. YouTube exclusive in the studios, what we call it, every couple of days, and then we put out the full episodes, a couple of days after they air. So if we air an episode on Monday usually by Wednesday

We have the full episode for you to watch on YouTube.com slash the commercial break Subscribe like any videos comment please we would enjoy it rate and review us on your favorite podcast player And now they're doing a great job out there. Yeah, well, thank you so much to all those people who are taking the time to review We love them keep them come keep them funny much to all those people who are taking the time to review. We love them, keep them come, keep them funny. Keep them five stars, if you can, that'd be great. That helps us out because that brings the show to new audiences.

Surprise into new love. Woo! That was nobody to help. Pretty soon it's thousand people. We've had money now. Yeah, we've had money now. Like $100,000. OK, 661, 237, 8296, 661, Best To You. If you want to play TCB summer games, send

us a message and we'll let you know. Okay, I love you. I love you. Best To You. Best To You. Best To You out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say, we do say, we must say bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star you