The Commercial Break - The Blockbuster (Sales) Pitch!

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

Seeking Sister Wives is back on TLC with a whole new cast. Bryan wonders why every SSW couple fails to make it to season 2. Blue is a dog that acts like a sister wife. 90F's Big Ed strikes out in love......again. Ads are running in the show but they certainly are not ruining the show...says Bryan! Finally, the gang dig up a training video from Blockbuster Video. The ever present VHS rental stores that went away quickly after Netflix. Buster Sales is a creepy trainer for the young staff who mansplains everything! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode of the Commercial Break. Listen, dude, no one gives it. You ain't no king enough of it. You are a king of more, but you are a king of the morons. If you think that you want to have seven additional wives running around all tugging at your co-tax. Let me show you what that looks like. You know that dog, Blue, that shows up once in episode here? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha where I might follow you home and tell your parents about that one time, you masturbated.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Tell Mrs. Harris to get out of here and let's have a party. Close and lock the door. Send Uncle Sales some of that mid-grade weebid smoking. Larry. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, thank you. I'm Brian Green. This is Chris and Joy. And best of you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Best of you on the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on the other episode of this called Marshall. Break the other one you have for me. Guaranteen, fact news and fiction. In 30 seconds or less, you can money back. What a done. Remember that micro machines guy? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:54 You remember the micro machines, the fastest, fastest talker? Yeah, that's right. When I was a kid, I loved that guy. I don't know why, but I was like, I was fascinated by how fast he was. That's like the auctioneers. You ever seen one of those livestock auctioneers?
Starting point is 00:02:08 Oh yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the win? Toad, the man in blue. Yeah, sorry, hit it in my forehead. If I had a high six, I would have done something. There was $7,642 for this pile of cow shit. Sold? Did I win? Yeah, I've seen the auctioneers. I've been to an auction where one of those guys was going, going, going.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Really, that's an art form. And I've watched Sotheby's, like the Sotheby's, online stuff, and that's an art form. And I've watched Sotheby's, like the Sotheby's online stuff, and that's always just so fascinating to me. Like, you know, we have a blind bidder on the phone, blind bidder on the phone, do I hear $652 million for this feces covered piece of canvas made by people and the Madonna.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Bidder on the phone wins, and it's like, who's the Bitter on the phone? I know, I know, it's also secret. Which guy from Dubai bought that? It has to be. It has to be. Middle East or China? Yeah, I mean, they have all the money.
Starting point is 00:03:12 What am I? There's a couple of us running around that have billions of dollars. The commercial breaks. Soon to be billions of dollars in the whole. I bet we'll soon be bidding on fine on it. Yes, we will. And soon, we will have a palathora of great content because one of my
Starting point is 00:03:30 favorite television shows in the world. And one that we've talked about extensively here on the show is coming back with a brand new season and brand new people. TLC's Seeking Sisterwise is back in the mix. And you just taking sister-wise, God. And they have like, of the five couples that they showcase, according to the trailer, of the five couples that they showcase, only one of them is back. And I'll tell you why. It's because-
Starting point is 00:03:56 It's a marriage ruiner? Yeah, I mean, just destroy your fucking marriage. Right. No person in the right mind wants to share your particulars with another I mean I get it there are people that have open marriages and I'm sure that some of them work I just don't know any of those people and I know people who have tried open marriage yeah I know I know these people I know these people who go in with the best of intentions and human nature always wins it always always I'm not saying that.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Somebody's gonna get jealous of sex the way it goes. Or someone's gonna get angry or feel left out. A tie or sex or love or money or whatever. Yeah. And what man is wanting to take on all of these children and wives. Stupid, stupid men, stupid men, full of stupid ideas. I'd say it's all about the lies. Stupid misogyny.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Yeah, but these men, it's not like they're some, they're like hippie, hippie, altruistic. Both these men are religious. They think they have, they're supposed to make a kingdom and a fiefdom and a, listen dude. No one gives it. You ain't no king enough of, you are a king of more, but you are a king of the morons.
Starting point is 00:05:05 If you think that you want to have seven additional wives running around all tugging at your co-tails, let me show you what that looks like. You know that dog blue that shows up once in episode here? Blue is like a sister wife to all the other children that run around my house. Nico included. And the more time and attention I spend with the other wives, blue gets more and more jealous. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:30 So now she just runs around, barking at me excessively. She doesn't stop. She's under my feet. I go to have a fucking bowl of cereal last night. That's all I wanted to do. Yeah, that's the end of the night. I've been editing, I've been working on my work stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I've been doing all this other stuff. All I want to do is I. It's the end of the night. I've been editing, I've been working on my work stuff. I've been doing all this other stuff. All I want to do is I just want to go have a bowl of trolls, marshmallows, work cream. I'm in cream. Are you still in the cream? I'm like three years old. I just said I wanted to go. Well, you've got to be a grown up
Starting point is 00:05:59 for all the other areas of the day. That's right. I just want to be a kid for like five minutes. Have my trolls cereal, singing and dancing to the trolls music while I'm eating it. And all I want to do is just be left alone. And not because I don't love all the people in this household, but because everyone needs a little
Starting point is 00:06:14 everyone needs some time alone. And very true. And so I walk into the kitchen. Everyone's quiet. He goes laying on the bed. He doesn't even notice I'm there because he's dead. He doesn't notice anything. He's laying on his kitchen bed, you know, his little doggy bed in the kitchen. And I'm like, let me turn on 90 day fiance. The single life. Let me watch a few minutes. Let me make myself a fatter by eating, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:40 half and half with my cereal. And I go into the closet, the pantry, the walking pantry, to go get my troll's box of cereal. I look at Poppy and Branch as I eat my cereal. And as I, when I walk in, all I hear is, I find out she was there. And I'm like, blue, go back, go, you know. What? What?
Starting point is 00:07:01 I'm like, what? Shut up, kids are sleeping. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And I'm like, blue, shut up. And the more that I tell her to shut up, the more she starts, like, that is exactly the way she does. I know, boy. I'm like, what? I just want to cry.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I just want to cry because I'm like, I don't know what to do with you. But I know what it is. And my wife keeps saying it. She says, the dog wants attention. The dog came home in your arms. And instantaneously, you became mama Brian, right? And you feed her treats and you feed them food. But it was called it mentored on you or it impressed on you.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Impressive. Impressive. Yeah, I'm imprinted on Blue's brain. I wish I could find a way to unprint myself from this dog because she is 24 hours a day at my feet barking at me, calling for my attention. These fucking idiots on this show, which God bless, thank God they're being recorded on TLC
Starting point is 00:07:55 because it's to my amusement. These fucking morons think that they don't know what they have no idea what they're in for. And that's why there is never a follow-up season of Seeking Sisterwives. It's always new people. It's because first of all, your neighbors look at you like you got seven fucking dicks.
Starting point is 00:08:09 You're like, it's like what the fuck are you doing, dude? Right. Number two. That's our neighbor. That's what's been going on. He's got three wives. I wonder if I can have a fair with one of them. Let's turn a pineapple upside down and hang it on the door.
Starting point is 00:08:22 No matter if it's a pink flamingo in the backyard. Go to the, yeah, the pineapple in the, the pineapple in the cart. That's the thing. Yep. No matter which man it is that's looking for the sister wife, the sister wife that they're looking for is always considerably more attractive in my opinion
Starting point is 00:08:41 than the original wife. Right. Or the original wife has always hesitant to do it, but like, you know, he wants to build a kingdom. God told him to do it. God didn't tell him to do it. He wants to get a dick wet. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:08:52 That's nothing to do with anything. With your permission. Yeah, with your permission, he'd like to also have sex with other people. And he's bored with you now. He wants to move on to the next thing. So, you know, then inevitably it just, it falls apart. That's why they never have a second
Starting point is 00:09:06 fucking season of seeking sister-wise with the same people. But God bless they keep on finding new people to have the seeking sister-wise. I just love it. It's, it speaking of TLC bad shows, I watched 90-day fiance the single life is going on. So all the people who have been the most popular of characters who have been on 90-day fiance were, it didn't work out. Which is about two thirds of the time. Yeah, most of them. That's another shit show. Wait a minute. If you've, I've been through this process.
Starting point is 00:09:31 My wife is from a different country. It is a true love story. It happened. We did not do the K1 visa. We did it another way, but we have been through this immigration process. And it is difficult and it is stressful and it is taxing. And I would never, ever ever ever in my fucking right mind Allow anybody to video record 24 hours a day while I was going through that
Starting point is 00:09:50 I was already stressed out enough I didn't want to worry about my makeup and my eyebrows at the same time So these you know I also think that the at this point 90 day fiance such a jerk and not these people just want to be famous They don't get who's on the other end of that phone call. They just want to get famous I think some of these people are just randomly picking people out in the universe. I tried to get a deal. Hey, you're gonna do this show. Yeah, you want to be famous with me? Yes. How's the single life? Single life is all of the people who didn't work
Starting point is 00:10:16 out in the original series. They try and get those people together with each other. Well, it happened in one case, two of the people who were on the original, like the like 90 day fiance here. If you haven't seen it, I don't know where your head is at, but here's how Well, it happened in one case, two of the people who were on the, like 90 day fiancee, here, if you haven't seen it, I don't know where your head is at, but here's how it goes. 90 day fiancee, there's a person in the United States of America,
Starting point is 00:10:32 they are getting married to someone who lives outside the country and they get what's called a K1 visa. That means they have 90 days. Once approved, they have 90 days to bring their, their engaged partner over here and get married. And if they don't get married in that 90 days, the person get kicked out.
Starting point is 00:10:47 So it's like the clock starts ticking. And sometimes it's a true love story, but a lot of the times it's nothing to try to love whatsoever. And so sometimes they break up. And when they break up, they follow them around in different versions of the 90 day fiancee world, different shows shows and this one is called the single life and
Starting point is 00:11:17 Someone thought that was me someone said that is that you and I was like no, that's not me So the single life is when they, when they, the more popular characters, they didn't work out. And they had, the cameras have to find a way to continue to follow them around because they're super interesting. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:32 So they follow them as they move on into single life. Yes. Okay. Big Ed, the guy that we've talked about, the guy with no neck. Yes. They got it. He's like four foot one. He has no neck.
Starting point is 00:11:42 He's got some kind of physical problem. He's got no neck. Go look up big kind of physical problem. He's got no neck. Go look a big head 90 day fiance. I told you that one time he was, he's dependent like three different seasons of 90 day in a single life because that's a poor guy. I can't catch a break. So now he finds this woman.
Starting point is 00:11:58 He gets hooked up with a Mexican woman in Mexico City. Okay. He goes all, they talk on the phone a few times. There's an attraction there. He goes all the way down to Mexico City He spends a few weeks big Ed cannot cannot for the life of him get out of his own way So this lady is like, you know, they're both older. They're in their fifties right and this lady is like Oh, I just want to see what happens. Let it flow let it go and at every 15 seconds is like so what do you think you want to be my girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:12:22 So what do you think? Are you attracted to me? How do you feel about marriage? What do you think about children? And she's like, so in this, she's going crazy. She literally is telling him to shut up. She's like, I think you talk too much. And she doesn't speak English all the time. So sometimes she doesn't do the translator. I think you talk too much. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:12:40 And she's like, ah! Oh, God. So she says this to him. Last episode. She says, Ed, ah! Oh, God. So she says this to him, last episode. She says, Ed, why does everybody, why do you have to be so worried about what's next? Enjoy right now. Please be quiet.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Why don't you spend the rest of dinner being quiet? That's what she says on the translator. And Ed's like, okay, okay, just one more question. How do you feel about me? It's real quick. She gets up at it, she's like, Ed, shut up. Please be quiet. I get it, I get it, I'm sorry, totally, totally, totally. When you say shut up, do you feel about Manch? Real quick, she gets up at it, she's like, Ed, shut up. Please be quiet.
Starting point is 00:13:05 I'm sorry, totally, totally, totally. When you say shut up, do you use me, you don't like me anymore? Or, you know, like a puppy dog, right? Oh, and. Poor Ed, it really makes me kind of cry.
Starting point is 00:13:15 So this last time, he started talking to her about marriage, and she said, I asked you to shut up. Like, I asked you to shut up, and you won't, you cannot shut up. You cannot be quiet.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Which means no marriage. So it's like this. He's like looking around at what to do. And he can't help himself. He's like, I just wanted to know if you were interested in getting met. And she gets up, she grabs her bag and she leaves. And she doesn't come back and doesn't text him.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I wanted to cry. I was like, oh man, big Ed, the fuck dude. I know this guy. We know this guy. I had a friend back when I lived in the apartment. You know I'm talking about. I didn't know who you are. I had a friend.
Starting point is 00:13:58 He was exactly like this. He could not get out of his own way. Everything was so fucking meta. He had to know everything about everything. He couldn't for one second sit still and shut up. He couldn't. So anytime that a girl even said hello to him, it was like, are you attracted to me?
Starting point is 00:14:15 Like I'm attracted to you and she'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? He just met and he couldn't leave it alone. And this reminds me of Ed on the single life. I just wish for Ed that I wish we could get on. I haven't formed one day. I asked Ed to come on the show. And he said, no, I can't because of my contract, right?
Starting point is 00:14:32 If he said, but you can go to my whatever it is and pay for, you know, what is that? The thing that everyone's doing? Camille. Camille. Yeah, those people, he's like one of the top producers. Oh really? Yeah, he made a couple million dollars last year
Starting point is 00:14:44 making fucking cameos. Big Ed from 90 day fiance. Why don't we have a cameo? Oh, we need it. Yeah. We need to bottle your farts. And then also to cameo. Yeah, to TSTT.
Starting point is 00:14:56 We're missing out. I'll do cameos as Carl. I'll do cameos as Carl or as an alien. Aliens! I wonder if we do cameo, it's just gonna be yet another glaring example of our failure to get anybody to pay us money to do this. Everybody likes to commercial break,
Starting point is 00:15:17 till it's time to pay, then or listen to commercial, then they wanna get all of a sudden. Fuck off. Unbelievable. No, unbelievable. No, we were just reading some of the reviews before we got on air. Yeah, no, everybody's really going on air, but. Yeah, that's on air.
Starting point is 00:15:31 It's on the pod. Yeah, we keep on saying that. We thought that we're on radio. We're not really on radio. But we love the reviews. There's so funny. They are. They're good.
Starting point is 00:15:40 You guys are good. They are. They take very clever. Yeah, you guys take lines from the show and you put them in your reviews. And I really like it. And I super appreciate it. I love you guys. They take. They really are. They take. Very clever. Yeah, you guys take lines from the show and you put them in your reviews. And I really like it. And I, you know, I super appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:15:48 And I get it. I get it. Every once in a while, we get a complaint about the ads. I get it. I understand. Listen, if you had to spend seven minutes doing something, it's not listening to advertisements. I understand.
Starting point is 00:15:58 But you got to understand that us as creators, we take a whole lot of time, energy, and effort to do this. And I know it's just silly bullshit It really is it's silly bullshit. We do not take ourselves at all seriously. No, but there is there is a considerable amount of the day It's been For doing a good work right right right whether you think it's worth it or not It does sound like we just popped up in like a park somewhere and are shooting the shit Which is what we wanted to sound like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:25 You know what somebody said to me once and I did not take this as a compliment. They were like, it just sounds like you guys completely unprepared. You just turn on the microphones and I'm like, mother fucker, I spent three hours a day worrying about what I'm going to say on this fucking show. But I get it every once in a while we get complaints about the ads, but that's the way that podcasters typically, you know, make a little change is that when you get to a certain size, you can throw ads in there and you hope that people respond. And you are.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Some people are responding to our advertisers, so we certainly appreciate them. We'll go over the same old ground. But just know that we get it. We get that you do not like the advertisements, but we just wish that you would also understand that for the hour of enjoyment. Power of our time. I believe in such a hard time believing anybody takes this at all serious. I know.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I know. Who the fuck is listening to this? It's crap. I bet there's many people out there right now. People in A.L. No one. Yeah. The baby birds. Oh, A.L.E. No one. Yeah. That's the baby bird.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Well, the baby birdies. Well, the baby birdies. Yeah, we give our baby birds phones so that they can become subscribers on Apple. Hey, at least we're not trying to charge you money on Apple for subscriptions. True. Yeah. So I was doing, I don't know what made me think about this, but I was thinking about hardies.
Starting point is 00:17:44 When we, you and I were talking about hardies. Yeah, we talked about that. I don't know if the episode has about this, but I was thinking about hardies. When we, you and I were talking about hardies. I don't know if the episode has aired yet or not, but it will or it has. We're Chrissy and I are talking about hardies. I was thinking back to my days at McDonald's. Right. And at McDonald's, we, the group of McDonald's that we were with, blockbuster video.
Starting point is 00:18:01 You remember blockbuster video? Of course, yeah. Blockbuster video put together this like local neighborhood video contest. Okay. Make your own video short form up to 15 minutes I think it was about whatever, right? And they were going around to businesses and saying this. So I don't know who I forgot who put this together. I was too young to be involved in the the the things,
Starting point is 00:18:25 but everyone at the McDonald's group, like the four McDonald's that was owned by this one guy agreed. Let's make a video and submit it. Okay. Yeah. And somehow I got chosen to be the star of that video somehow somehow because I'm because my great looks and my acting ability. You're just magnetic.
Starting point is 00:18:44 I am literally a plate in my acting ability. You're just magnetic. I am literally, I have a plate in my head. So after some script writing by some other people, they decide that they're gonna do an action movie like Die Hard only at the McDonald's. McDonald's hard. Drive through hard. In this whole movie, the premise was that someone came into the McDonald's, they took a number of people hostage. They locked him in the cooler. And I was the employee who
Starting point is 00:19:12 like was in the bathroom when all this was going down. I was taking a shit. He was cleaning the bathrooms. I was cleaning the bathroom. And when I got out, I realized what was going on that these terrorists had taken over the McDonald's and they had locked people in the back and it was my job to be sneaky and save them. So this included doing a number of stunts, like jumping over the counter.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Like, you know, the counters are big. They're like four feet wide, right? I had to run from the back of the restaurant and I had to jump up on the counter and slide off into a mattress that we had. I mean, Chrissy, I wish I had this video. I really do. I had to do that. I look like this was during off business hours and so people were driving by going, oh, no, you should. It was three in the morning. No, you should.
Starting point is 00:19:59 It's a poncy suburb of Atlanta. No, you should go on there. They just want their French rice hot. They don't care what we're doing. But I look back at it now, and I'm sure everyone else in the building was probably high on fucking meth or blow. Right, because it's three in the morning and everyone's all jacked up. And this guy's writing a script as we're going,
Starting point is 00:20:17 and he's like, okay, Brian, I want you to come up behind him and do a headlock. And for four hours, we're filming this movie. And I don't remember much because I've never seen it except for twice. I don't remember much, but I remember that. Someone went back and kind of... I've never seen it except for twice.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Except for twice. I've never seen it except for that time as I saw it. All right, I didn't want to clarify that. So this die hard McDonald's version, because no one knew how to edit it. We literally had to stop and start the camera exactly where we wanted it. Oh wow, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:52 So it was this total shit show of a mess because that's just the way it was. We told you to show it to the ass. When I fell over the counter, you could see the mattress. When I was attacking the, you know, the terrorist from behind, there was some lady was scrubbing the pots and pans. I mean, as I go, it was a whole thing. Someone was taking an order.
Starting point is 00:21:10 We ended up going into the morning and there were actual customers who were running through the driver. So you could hear that, damn noise, bing, you know, somebody's coming through the driver. What can I get you this morning? Like Gretel. Yeah, but Blockbuster, we were so excited
Starting point is 00:21:24 that Blockbuster had agreed to accept our video into this video community video thing. They were a huge player. They were the the player. They were it. They were it for a while. I mean, McDonald's was the big bad boy of fast food and Blockbuster had the market corner.
Starting point is 00:21:40 They should have gone into the streaming game. They should have gone into the streaming game. But they didn't. They didn't. They laughed at Netflix when Netflix came along. They said, okay, go ahead and mail out your videos. People want to come to the store and get them right now. But Netflix had a grander plan. And that guy Ted Serrano, I think his name is. He really, just like Jeff Bezos,
Starting point is 00:21:57 who just started selling books, but he had a grander plan. He's like, I'm gonna lose a bunch of money, but I'm gonna make sure we have everything anybody could ever want on Amazon eventually. And they both executed their plan almost flawlessly. Yes. But Blockbuster, if you weren't alive at the time,
Starting point is 00:22:11 because they kind of went away when like the 2010 a real area when Blockbuster started under the Netflix industry. I remember when I moved back down here, yeah. So yeah, I said 2010. Blockbuster card was something you had to have, the second you turned 18, you had to have a Blockbuster card, you had to have a membership something you had to have. The second you turned 18, you had to have a blockbuster card.
Starting point is 00:22:25 You had to have a membership. You had to have at least one video that was extremely late, and you were afraid to walk in if you didn't have it in your hand. Like, they were gonna swipe your card and go, Mr. Graeme. Come over here to the side please. Come here. Bikini Island has been out for 24 days.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Who? Yeah, because you can only keep it for like three days, right? You can keep it for, well, there were overnight rentals, which were the real hot ones. They wanted to back the next day. Yeah, that's for new. Then they came out with two day rentals, and everyone was really excited, because now you keep it for two days.
Starting point is 00:22:57 And then you pay extra if you want it for three days. You want it for, you want overnight or you want three days. Remember, maybe like you want overnight or three day. You want to get a membership, and then you keep everything over three days. It's only $375,000 a year and you can have one video a week for three days. Yeah, you'd be like,
Starting point is 00:23:12 send me out! But, I remember going with dates and picking out movies with dates. Yeah. Kind of like a thing, you know. It was a social event. When you went to Blockbuster, you would see other people, you would get excited.
Starting point is 00:23:27 You got another people you knew. They would move you yet. The new releases were all against the back bar, and they had a hundred copies of it, and you just prayed that there was that one box sitting on top of the other box, right? You prayed, prayed that when you wanted to see, you know, whatever it was, Princess Bride II,
Starting point is 00:23:44 that they had the extra copy of it or die art five or, you know, pull fiction or whatever it was. And then in the middle of the store, they had a bunch of, you know, random videos that they felt were popular in Swapam out, you know, documentaries, all kind of stuff. And I always like to go to the middle of the store and figure out something cool and interesting to watch.
Starting point is 00:24:02 But Blackbuster was a part of our routine, our life. It was. We slow ingrained into our entertainment into the free time that we had that I couldn't imagine. I also remember my first white, we would go to Blackbuster all the fucking time. As a matter of fact, that one that was on Howell, right? That one that was on Howell Mills, right there.
Starting point is 00:24:22 That's right. But when I lived with my ex when I when I first started dating She one night she came home from blockbuster with Lord of the Rings Which they were all out at this time or most of them I think out there were four of them or three of them three Okay, all of them were out. She came up with Lord of the Rings house. I don't want to watch that shit I don't want you to fucking Lord of the Rings ghouls and go I don't want to watch that shit. I don't want to watch no fucking Lord of the Rings, ghouls, and goblins. I don't even shit about JR tokens. It's not my thing never has been, right? And she just watched it.
Starting point is 00:24:49 We watched it for me. Okay, I watched it for you. And within 15 minutes of the first movie, we had to walk over to the blockbuster and get the other two, right? And I was up all night watching. I'm like, that's so good. Blockbuster, what? And now I can't even imagine doing that. Like you just press your button and that's it. That's all on demand.
Starting point is 00:25:07 So it was very tactile. Blockbuster has long since gone out of business because there's one in Alaska. One blockbuster in Alaska. No, it's not in Alaska, it's in Oregon. Oh, it's in Oregon. The last blockbuster in the world, located in Bend, Oregon, has been weathering the pandemic
Starting point is 00:25:23 by tapping into the nostalgia of iconic, the iconic video store chain, while also offering sleepovers through Airbnb and selling merchandise sourced through local vendors. That's amazing. So this is staying the night at the bottom. Staying the night. Can you imagine?
Starting point is 00:25:39 No. And you can rent an actual VHS machine, you can rent a DVD player. This is amazing. What I thought that I would do, because I thought that it would be interesting. And we might have to do a two-part run. This one will just give you heads up on this,
Starting point is 00:25:51 because it's a little bit longer than a video. It's that I felt like the best way to understand what a blockbuster was, was to watch a training video from blockbuster in their heyday. Okay. You ready for this? You wanna do this? Yes, of course. Okay, so let me this you want to do this? Yes, of course
Starting point is 00:26:12 Okay, so let me turn on the TCP full reaction shot here every time I say that that probably means that I have to stop the recording and then get up and change something You don't see it because I edit it together, but this time I got it right look at it Hey commercial breakers best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple, we really appreciate it. We've been deluged by wonderful comments and reviews, and we couldn't be more grateful if you're one of those. If you're not, could you take just a few minutes and leave us a podcast review, comments or rating on your favorite podcast player, almost all of them have some version of rating or review. It helps us grow the show.
Starting point is 00:26:47 It'll make you feel better and it'll tickle all of our pickles. Thanks so much. Hey, 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a text message or a voicemail and we want to hear for you. Comments, questions, concerns or content ideas. Let us know by sending us a text or leaving us a voicemail at 661. The word best, the number two, why oh yo, that's 661 best to yo, and go to tcbpodcast.com. You'll find all the audio and all the video right there at one location.
Starting point is 00:27:17 You can now connect with us on social media at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Still the only place to find all of the video content and exclusives you cannot find anywhere else. We're going to take a short break to hear from our sponsors. Please use their specialized URLs and or codes if you're ever in the market for their products or services. We certainly would appreciate it. We know our sponsors would too. We'll be right back with this episode of The Commercial Break. This is Blockbuster's training video from the mid-90s when there was a blockbuster on every fucking corner. I'm McDonald's in a blockbuster on every corner.
Starting point is 00:27:58 And maybe it'll give you young kids a little taste of what it was all about. 30 years ago, I can't believe we're saying that. That's crazy. 30 years ago. I was seven, by the way, when it was seven. Yes, we were very, very young. Yes, very young. When we were talking about the Xers not having sex,
Starting point is 00:28:16 Gen Zers not having sex the other day, I'm just a couple of years outside that category. That's right. Yes. Mmm, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, Oh excuse me. Oh. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Hi, is this Harris? I didn't see you come in. I didn't see you in a week or so. You've been asking for a while. Oh, hi, Mrs. Harris. What porn do you have there in your hands? This is Harris. What's that?
Starting point is 00:28:54 50 shades of naughty. Did you know your son was doing blow at the party last night? I was just, Harris. It's the kind of girl. At my school where I was like, I hate night. I was Harris. It's the kind of girl. At my school where I was like, uh, hey, Julie. Oh, no, our VCR was just in for repairs again. It was awful. Can you imagine trying to make conversation with Mr. Harris? But anyway, it's back. It's a real asshole. Our VCRs in the shop for repairs again.
Starting point is 00:29:25 He busted it. Yeah. I got mad at you through it at my head. Can you imagine trying to make conversation with a man who's been impotent for 20 years? I just let him have sex with prostitute. Good. You know we have a lot of different movies you might have seen before. Can I help you find anything in particular?
Starting point is 00:29:44 Oh thanks. I'll just look around. I'm sure I'll find something. I'm just browsing. Oh thanks, you're a little shithead, Julie. That cocaine was mine. I tell Josh he could have some. This is really like, this is really old. Yeah, it seems like it. So Julie's rearranging videos like a good little girl Like a good little blockbuster. Oh Someone's on the TV talking to her
Starting point is 00:30:17 Yo Marie, hey, let's wake up. Oh Who are you? My name's Buster Buster sale My name's Buster and I've been following you to the bathroom. Buster. The name's Buster. Buster Sale. And I'm here to teach you how to swindle people out of more money with their black Buster memberships. You want to be a good little girl, don't you, Marie?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Or I might follow your home and tell your parents about that one time you masturbated. Tell Mrs. Harris to get out of here and let's have a party. Close and lock the door. Send Uncle Sales some of that mid grade weed you've been smoking. Marie. Marie Our trailer tape mess of jammed I am no tape see And on video cassette Well, what are you doing now? Yeah, I mean like who thought of this Let's get the guy all right everybody settle down down, welcome to Amazon's third quarter training video, uh, brainstorming session, thank you. I have an idea as we can start out here.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Uh, the other night, I was tripping balls and the TV started talking to me. I thought that was a good place to start. Great, great, write that down. Talking TV, I love it. Yeah. Uh, what should, what should the actors do when the TV starts talking to her? Talk back normally! Yeah, that's what I do.
Starting point is 00:31:51 That's what I do. Yeah, I mean, seriously. If you're in the blockbuster and the TV started talking to you, would you be like, what do you want me to do? Yeah. Can you teach me more about how I can get more members to enjoy videos at blog buzzer? I'd be like I don't plug it through it on the ground from outside
Starting point is 00:32:13 I am a professional opportunist that doesn't sound very nice No, it's like a con man only with my dick out No, no, not that kind of opportunist. You see, I'm one of the world's greatest authorities on opportunities. I find people who need help. And I help them. And he's very strict for success.
Starting point is 00:32:35 You need them, right? It's tough. Yeah, there is nothing quite like a paisy shirt with a multi-colored tie to say, I'm the expert on anything Oh my god You look like one of those guys at a wacky science Especially with finding opportunities. I know an opportunity when I see it sure
Starting point is 00:33:01 Like the time Mrs. Harris' son Brian asked you out. And you turned them down to gonna chain all the stupid stuff. She's so mean. How did you know that? You went on to have a baby with Jane. You could have been pregnant. You could have been right and high. You had the life.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Pregnancy, a brand new oven, a dishwasher, all the accoutrements. Look at you now. Working. Who does that? Which woman does that? You missed an opportunity. You guys are doing Mr. Harris' side.
Starting point is 00:33:30 It sounds like Mrs. Harris made this video and try and get Marie hooked up with her son. She's in the little cold. Yeah, she did. She's like, my plans coming together. As soon as I put this VHS tape, this magic VHS tape inside the blockbuster store, Marie will be Brian's foreshure. For party. That's how loud!
Starting point is 00:33:53 God, his mother is right over there. And anyway, how was I supposed to know he was that hunt friend of Tyler's beautiful eyes? And the picket to the hell was I supposed to know that my character was going to be boiled down to a bunch of anecdotes about women So bad so dead blackbuster. Yeah, it's hard to believe we've come so far in just 30 years. I'm glad we have yeah In these training videos and any almost any old media women are just like Oh, yeah, the complete caricatures of themselves. I mean, there are certainly lots of examples where that does not happen.
Starting point is 00:34:27 But Blackbuster wasn't going there. Blackbuster wasn't going there. They wanted to stick to the stereotype. Let's get a dumb broad in there. And we'll get the smartest guy we know up on that TV. You know, broads. What are they gonna do? Brods.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Have a talk about Brian's little cock. That'll be perfect. Bon Jovi Concert. I don't want to discuss that. Don't worry, she can't hear us. And it's a good thing. Last week you had an opportunity to rent Mrs. Harris a blockbuster VC penny. Oh, well, hers is being fixed. Yeah, but she doesn't need mine. She needs a little break. Shame on you. You could have fleeced Mrs. Harris for an extra $300 to rent a VC off a one week,
Starting point is 00:35:08 a $1,000 deposit, $300 a week, it's a deal. Who wouldn't want it? Because that's how much it costs to rent a VHS machine at Bachbuster, you're not to sign a mortgage. A VHS machine was like a 50 pound piece of equipment. Yeah, and I don't even know what went, ooh, well, it was so complicated in there. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Last week. So you had an opportunity to tell her about your rental units two weeks ago. Then she'd have known she could rent a VCP from Blockbuster when she needed one. Yeah, well, I could go tell her now. To my, yeah. Yeah, well, I can go tell her now. To the right here. To late.
Starting point is 00:35:47 You're fired. It's a matter of fact. We're gonna murder you. It's a matter of fact, we took all your paychecks away. Make up for that. VCP. VCP. Video cassette player.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Oh, okay. The VHS. What is it called? Video home system or something? Yeah. I don't know, no idea. Aschir how Brian's doing while you're at it, you might still have a chance with him.
Starting point is 00:36:09 We'll talk more about opportunities later. Weird. We'll talk more about how you've been wrong later. We'll talk, I'll mansplain more to you in just a few minutes. Oh Mrs. Harris, I wanted to remind you that we have video cassette players for rent. So if you ever have to put yours in for a pair again, you can just stop in here and pick one out.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Well good, I'm glad to know that. I'll do that next time. Well, you need to bring your aunt out about once a week. That is okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. Next time I need to get out of the house, I'll come to blockbuster. Here, let me write that down in my portfolio.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I've got my calendar right here in my bag. And bag. Let me mail a reminder to myself. Do you have any stamps, Marie? The releases I wanted. Oh, I'm sorry. What maybe did you want? Well, actually, I wanted to see Sean Connery in the hunt for red October. But you're out. Oh, well, a lot of women have been masturbating to that lately.
Starting point is 00:37:17 I don't know. What do I do, Mr. Sales? Well, for another video she can whack off too. And don't forget about our Dildo rental. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it.
Starting point is 00:37:40 You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You missed it. You. Oh. I'm sure we have some copies coming in later today. And we probably have some other Sean Conning movies. By the way, House Brian. Oh, he's fine.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Actually, I thought he might be meeting me here. Oh, he's fine. He hates you. You turned him down. Remember? Some friends coming over tomorrow night and I guess he's counting on mom's delivery service to pick out the music videos. Will you help me here? What are delivery service to pick out the music videos.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Will you help me here? What do you think? What? Hey mom, can you pick out the music videos? MTV doesn't run them anymore. It's something called Teen Mom. Music videos. I never rented a music video in black monster.
Starting point is 00:38:20 No. I don't know. Maybe they did. I don't know. Why would I? But you could have so many like I was I talk about like one video that runs a couple music videos I'm talking about like Michael Jackson's bad That's it you're gonna take it out and put it next yeah, yeah, someone's playing DJ with the VHS
Starting point is 00:38:40 Rewind it It's halfway through! Got. No, I don't think this one. I'm gonna blow those two. I'll do that with it. I don't think Elton John's Yellow Big Road is gonna do it. Music video. That's right. I think you need the best of yes. John's yellow Big Road is gonna do it. He's like video.
Starting point is 00:39:05 That's right, I think you need the best of yes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What's this one? Tell Brian I said hi. Okay. And I'll see you when you bring this back. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:20 I guess, whatever, asshole. I'll see you later. And you think you can spot an opportunity? Now what? I told her about the VCP rentals, and I helped her pick out the tape. And that's fine. But didn't you miss something? What?
Starting point is 00:39:43 And that's fine. But this is an opportunity for me to do more man-splaining. Don't you think you missed something? What? The Dildo Rental. Definitely the Dildo Rental. Tell her, you've got three Jack Rabbit with Extenders and one black mama right there ready to go.
Starting point is 00:40:01 And she can get a starter pack for only 99, 99 a year plus video rental fee. Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember Blackbuster was expensive. It was. It was like you had to pay like $50 a year for the membership and then it was like $19.99 for two video rentals. You pay 20 bucks every time. When you walked out, yeah, for sure. Like a convenience chance to meet Brian? No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Look at it this way. You have Sean Con Connery you add Mrs. Harris's interest and what do you get? You get a really bad movie that no one wants to see What do you get you get a horny Mrs. Harris? More rantals and a happy customer I I told her we had other conry movies. What can you name one? Could you have placed a Connery tape in Mrs. Harris's hand? I guess so, but sometimes I forget the titles.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Sometimes I don't like touching people. I've got a bad case of OCD. Look at it this way. There's three basic steps. Remember to listen to your customers. Because there's three basic steps. Shatter! Shatter! And shut up! Bro, giving your clues about their needs. Second, think how blockbuster can solve those needs.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Third, act. Blockbuster didn't think you were solving their own needs. They should have taken their own advice. Stop think about what you need and then execute. Yeah, and like, now they're off the leave. Blockbuster, what needs are you going to meet? Honestly. Your video needs.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Listen, me and Mr. Harris, I have a lot of problems in the bedroom. Have you tried whacking them off beforehand? Here, we've got a fluff problems in the bedroom. Have you tried whacking them off beforehand? Here, we've got a fluffer in the back. You can rent them for 24, 99 an hour. It's like what needs can be done. At the blogbuster. It's a bug in blogbuster,
Starting point is 00:41:55 which you should have done, is figured out how to get those fucking videos online. That's what you should have done. Damn blogbuster, because I'd probably be blogbuster.com. I'd be on the blogbuster app. Exactly. If they had done the same thing Netflix,
Starting point is 00:42:06 Netflix would be nothing to nobody. It would be this tiny little rinky dink app that no one used. They'd have like, you know, these shitty little made for TV movies on there. Yeah, blockbuster really missed the train. God damn did they, man. I just think about some of the biggest like,
Starting point is 00:42:20 fuck ups and business history. You gotta be blockbuster. Blockbuster's at the top Whoa the video came right out of the video game on the screen an actual physical video came flying out of the screen Okay, so you tell them me in this advertisement Bob guy starts talking through the video screen girls Doesn't mind she just says hey, I guess I guess we're being talked to through video screen now that all of a sudden a video tape flies out of it. Bob. Gold. Bob.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Gold. I love it. Let's take this to Paramount see if we can get the rights for a full movie. Get the picture. Look at this list of 50 best videos and commit them to memory. Get to no popular actors in all their movies. That's great. It's a great like $5 an hour. Yeah and I like your committing shit to memory. I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:43:09 Yeah, everybody that I saw at Blahblaster was under the age of 25 did not give a shit about you or your fucking videos They were done a video rental store They like to watch movies, but they didn't the kind of movies were not the top 50 movie rentals of all time Get to know every actor get get to know every actress, every soundtrack, every movie producer and director, and 425 an hour, right in your pocket. Half the sex is it's $1.15. Yeah, I'll go tell Brian's mom.
Starting point is 00:43:38 I mean, Miss Harris. Don't be pushy. Just be helpful. Don't you want to watch this movie? Don't you want to watch this movie? Don't you want to watch this movie? Here. Here. I found a ton of videos. Mrs. Harris. Mrs. Harris. Nine and a half weeks.
Starting point is 00:43:53 You'll help with your husband's boner problem. Oh, thanks, Marie. Thanks for telling everybody in the TV. The man on the TV. Tell me. The man on the TV. Throughout this Louvre. Okay, I had this back Saturday night before midnight. Okay, thanks. And if you don't, the blockbuster will come looking for you. I always, I remember one time I had a video out, and I couldn't find it. It had been stolen, either stolen or I lost it.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Right. Because I was, you know, I'm really bad at that shit. Like, yeah, you know, Brian's not the most, like, yeah. He tailed our aunt in person in the world. So. You're good with big picture. Yeah, I'm good with at that shit. Yeah, Brian's not the most, like, yeah, detail oriented person in the world. So. You're good with big picture. Yeah, I'm good with big picture stuff. So this, I had this video out forever.
Starting point is 00:44:32 And every time I went, It was not in a half week. It wasn't, I forgot what it was. What was it? It was around the world and 180 degrees or something. It was something so. Should we chitty bang bang? No, you know what, it was bottle rocket. Chitty chitty bang bang. Bottle rocket was the movie, which is a great something. It was something something something so I'm sure you're bang bang. No, you know what it was? Bottle Rocket, you need to be bang bang. Bottle Rocket was the movie,
Starting point is 00:44:47 which is a great movie. And I had that the 24 day. No, 24 day. This we were going to like nine months. And I was friends with a little girl at Blockbuster. So every time I go up there, she'd be like, bottle rockets still miss. We're going to have to charge you for the full movie. It's 197 dollars. That's great. 197 dollars bottle fucking rocket? Who else has rented bottle rocket?
Starting point is 00:45:09 Is there anybody come in and ask for bottle rocket? No, that's why it's $197 to replace. We gotta make money out of it somehow. Bye. Oh, hi, Kristen. How's it going? Pretty bogus, actually. I'm pretty bogus.
Starting point is 00:45:22 You're a bitch, Mary. Yeah, you're talking to that dude on the TV. I see you. I see you having an affair with the man on the TV. Bogus. Give me a little bit of me too. Yeah. He's in such a drag.
Starting point is 00:45:32 I don't know how you feel. See you ready to check out? Sure. Flagged. What now? What now? Stop acting like a dumb chick. He just popped up. Blacked. What now? What now? Get down. Stop acting like a dumb chick.
Starting point is 00:45:47 He just popped up and she's at the register. She's at the register with 20 separate videos, by the way. What's he gonna tell her? This is an opportunity to upsell 15 more videos due back by Saturday. How do you watch all those movies? Two is my limit. And we got two. Yeah. I want to keep an eye on this. I see an opportunity coming. Hey, are you okay? You're a little freaked out. Well, yes,
Starting point is 00:46:16 there's a man speaking to me. There's a man that's been speaking to me all day through the TV and he just predicted the future. What a dumb idea. Yeah, I was just checking them on there. That's all. Now, let's see. Oh, oh, I see. See what? What? Like, am I on hidden videos or something? No. No, but there's a hidden man. Yeah, there's a hidden man. What like am I on hidden videos or something? No
Starting point is 00:46:50 No, but there's a hidden man. Yeah, there's a man that's been following me into the bathroom It's a little sticker says don't just rent it buy it. Yeah, it's only $197 Hey Kristen, how many you check this video out several times before? Yeah, at least five times. Not in a half week. Yeah. How I'm learning to make out with Johnny. That's giving me tips and tricks on how to get it on with my boyfriend. He rented this out of my house.
Starting point is 00:47:16 I mean, I could have... I don't remember renting out... That was the point of the rental stores that you didn't want to buy it. You just rented it and watched it. Yeah, if I wanted to buy a movie, I bought a movie. And you never bought it at Blackbuster. No, no. Because it was like $69.99.
Starting point is 00:47:31 If you wanted to see it, and you- No more art or whatever. Yeah, yeah. If you wanted to watch, if you wanted to buy a new movie when it came out, it was crazy expensive. I'm not kidding when I say $69.99 for the premier movies. If diehard 2 came out tomorrow, which it came out 50 years ago, but if it came out tomorrow and you love die hard,
Starting point is 00:47:48 you wanted to go see die hard too, but you wanted to buy a copy of it. It would be a huge clunky box that would have a video cassette in it and you would pay $180,000 for it. And then it would, you would watch it once and go, that wasn't that good.
Starting point is 00:48:02 What did I buy this? Die hard one was so much better. Buy it by now, you know. Why don't you buy it? You know all our tapes are for sale. No kidding? That's great. I'll take it. Oh, and you know what else? No, shit. But I know my dad's credit card. You just changed my life. Do you take my dad's BP card? Can you put it on my dad's credit card? You want a BP card? From my dad's I had a B.P. card. You want a B.P. card? From my dad and college. From your dad and college. Yes. There was a girl. I put its Honest stuff all over.
Starting point is 00:48:27 That was not gas. Yeah. Of course you did. We bought cigarettes. I didn't get it. There was a girl that I dated and her dad owned an extermination company, like a really famous extermination company here in Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Yeah. And he, I ran away from home one time. Hermot, the mom and dad were divorced. The mom lived in this huge mansion that had a pool, a pool house and everything. The mom was the fucking coolest lady in the world. I think she just wanted to be cool with all the teenagers. So she was like, live in the pool house, drive the Red Mercedes. It was a red 1976 convertible Mercedes, Primm and proper clean and Chris.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Oh, those are fun. It was like the extra car, right? She was like, just drive that little tiny little cool, I mean, just two seaters, tool around, and then she's like, in here, here's the BP card for the gas. I bought cigarettes, I bought food, I was eating cheese whiz for like six months out of that BP card. I loved it. And I would go pull up to the full service.
Starting point is 00:49:21 I was such a little asshole. I would pull up to full service at the BP, Full service for those of you that don't know meant the BP man would come out. He would fill you up. He would check your tires and he would wash your windows for you. Yeah and then you and then I'd honk honk and run away without tip them. Can you put the tip on the BP card? No you can't. I'm broke. Look at me. I'm 16. What do you think? Do you think I was gonna beat you with tip? Come on. My little brother Spike has a birthday coming up. He's a regular No, you can't, I'm broke. What is it look at me, I'm 16, what do you think? Do you think I was gonna beat you with div, come on man. My little brother Spike has a birthday coming up.
Starting point is 00:49:48 He's a regular Star Trek maniac. He wears Spock ears, just cool in everything. I only knew you were showing him a cool. He's a regular Star Trek. He gets beat up pretty frequently. I know, my God. He's a Star Trek, Spock ears. Where's Spock ears is a school?
Starting point is 00:50:03 I've never seen anybody wear Spock ears. No, well, I've never seen anybody wear a Spock ears. No. Well, I mean, unless you're at a convention or something promoting that, but definitely not to school. No. Kids don't do it. My kids, I like to Catholic school, so no one dressed up because you weren't allowed to. But I also think like my dad loves Star Trek, and I like a regional Star Trek. The original Star Trek is fantastic. Yes. But then I blamed the fact that none of my friends in any version of school that I went to were ever fans of Dungeons & Dragons, Star Trek next generation. I mean, not even Star Wars. Like, they just weren't those kind of kids. So I never got into that. I just, and plus I like music, so that was my thing. So if somebody showed up to my school with star trek ears on like the Spock ears
Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah, he'd spend the day in the like in the basket full of dirty jock straps Port spike somebody tell him yeah on it. I could buy it for him now Of course, this is 30 years ago, so now... I saw you everything in this entire... Yeah! So now Spike owns all the real estate in the world. Right, exactly. He's got every hot girl in the world that gives that out. That's what they do, yes. Hey, why don't you rent a tape now?
Starting point is 00:51:17 And then see if he mentions one of his favorite episodes to you. Oh, geez, that's a great idea! I'll perk down to you. Now't have to give him a book. I told you, opportunity. Look at that, look at that number. She's checking out with $1,655 with a shit from Blockbuster. I smell an opportunity. To sell a record and drive it all home.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Mine not or something. It's where your Star Trek videos are. Oh, I can tell you where. Pretz an asshole. Pretz, gotcha. Pretz my bitch. Pret can show you. Pret looks like the guy who knows where this thing is. He does, he was like, oh, hello.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Hello, my name is, Brett. From the third moon base of a lorion. Maybe, but, but, but, but, but. Hello, my name is from the third moon base of a loriam Now just hold these for you see you Kristen Uh-oh here he comes so how was that not bad One out of two not bad. What do you mean one out of two? He's a dick. Well, he's a real fucking asshole. He's a dick. Yeah, they found a massage and his thick creepy ass clown with a bad shirt and a worst tie. Geez.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Fucking harass this poor little girl. I know. What kind of message are they sending? Yeah, I've been scared to work with Bob Messer because they showed me this video. I'm like, PGSD. Can you imagine sitting? I Yeah, I'd be scared to work at Bobbusters. They showed me this video. I'm like, P-G-S-D. Can you imagine sitting? I talk, I talk to me. The video. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Can you imagine sitting at the stock room of a blockbuster? Like a little closet and they're like, Hey, get, watch this series of videos. I'd be scared. I'd be like, I don't want to work here. Yeah, he's going to come on talk to me on the TV. Yeah, look at that shirt. They couldn't have found a better shirt.
Starting point is 00:53:02 He and he's a dick. All the money that blockbuster had, yeah, he's a dick. That's why this guy didn't have a career in acting. And Block just did not last. This guy didn't star in, you know, no country for old men. Cause they're like, and they mean the Blockbuster. Code directed by Clint Eastwood.
Starting point is 00:53:19 That's right. Also this guy. This guy, Mr. Sales. Whatever his name is. Actually, he does look familiar. I think he was on Save By The bell or something it was one of the teachers on save by the bell I think I play he's got to play a dick on whatever yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:53:32 misogynistic asshole I wonder what that guys I wonder what this guy is up to I'm gonna figure it out I'm gonna give you an update next time we talk okay we're in it in soul christian all the tape she won and that was great what about spike oh that don't worry she'll be back I didn't solve Kristen all the tape she wanted and that was great. What about Spike? Oh that, don't worry, she'll be back. She just wanted to figure out which tape you wanted. She doesn't have to.
Starting point is 00:53:52 You bet. We have a great solution for customers and artists. You wretched hoe. You didn't do it right here. We've got three tickets to the Blockbuster Festival. What are those tickets? They're chip certificates. Oh, god.
Starting point is 00:54:09 You didn't have to tell her to come back. You could have sold her $300 with a Blockbuster gift cards. Good for one half video. Stupid. All right, listen, we'll finish this up a different time. I promise. You got to find out where this guy is. We'll get back to it.
Starting point is 00:54:24 I'll find out where this guy is. We'll get back to it. I'll find out where this guy is. We'll get back to the Blaster video. Okay, I don't wanna make you stay around too long for the silliness. I mean, I don't know why I say that because it's a fucking podcast. We can go on forever if we wanted to. You know, we got things to do.
Starting point is 00:54:36 We got to make them a lot of these. We got to do a lot of these. Yeah, and do it. I can give you three hours of content a week. What do you want? What more do you want? I'm gonna come through your videos grade That's right show it up. I bet people are like the tcb live
Starting point is 00:54:51 Yeah, Spotify that's People are like that guy on the blockbuster videos kind of like Brian on my YouTube video All right, go to tcb podcast.com That's where you find out more information about Chrissy, you know, you read all the show notes listen to all the audio Alright, go to tcmepodcast.com. That's where you find out more information about Kristina. You read all the show notes, listen to all the audio, watch all the video, you can connect with us on social media. At the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Watch all the video we've ever made as a group right there. At youtube.com slash the commercial break. Now live on Spotify, video on Spotify, Spotify, go there in the search button. You type in the commercial break live and there you're gonna get our videos. They release a couple of days after the episode releases. Don't get nervous if you don't see the most recent one up there. Because I haven't gotten around to it yet. You're nervous. What if it that released?
Starting point is 00:55:44 I haven't. I gotta go to blackbuster and haven't they really got to go to blackbusters and see if they've got it there. You can also remeasue. Yeah, you can also remeasue. I'm gonna open up a mom pick about I'm gonna open up a commercial break blockbuster.
Starting point is 00:55:58 It's just gonna have old episodes of the commercial break. Nice on VHS. Yes. That's probably our demographic. on VHS. That's probably our demographic. Okay, also, if you don't mind, if you can take two minutes out of your day, rate, review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, it doesn't matter if it's Apple.
Starting point is 00:56:16 Can't talk about the better. Yeah, the more creative the better. And award goes to the best commenter, and I don't know what that award is, but we'll figure out something. It's a blockbuster membership for life! And make sure you use our sponsor, Specialize URLs or codes if you're ever in the market for their products or services. Well it's been another great day, Chrissy. I don't know how much more we've been doing. I think that's it. I mean how much more do you want? Listen to the next time it's on.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Thank you, good work. Until next time, I say I love you. I love you, Brian. That's to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time. We always say we do say and we must say bye.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Bye. Bye. Bye! Thank you. you

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