The Commercial Break - The Blue Green Lagoon!

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

EP917: Bryan is back to the blue-green lagoon (his pool) and the never ending quest to keep is....free from disease! As the pollen falls and the water slowly turns into a Petri dish, Bryan does his best to fight back the allege by filling the pool with many, many chemicals. Will it work? Who knows! Who cares?!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this episode of the commercial break. You turn the hose off, no problems. And I'm like, oh, thank God. And he goes, and I got to admire the color of your pool right now. It's like, you got quite the horticultural exhibit going on in that pool. And then I wonder why when we tell them they can use the pool any time they want to. They're like, we saw it a couple months ago. I don't know what magic trick you pulled to make it magically clear now.

But I saw the frogs in there. Yeah. So, so then I just, I told As soon, I said, I don't know what we got to do, but we got to clean up that pool. It's just going to get worse. So I go to Home Depot. I think I know what to do. I'm just going to shock the shit out of the pool. So here's how it works.

The old shocker. The old shocker. Give them the old shocker. One in the pink, two, and the stick. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host.

of this show, Kristen Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris in. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Look at us getting an episode in this week. Wow, so proud of us. We're on top of it. Hopefully we'll get some kind of regular schedule going on here again. A lot of moving parts here at the commercial break.

But that doesn't mean we don't love you and it doesn't mean that we think any less of you. We're here. We're doing it. We're committed to it. We're just the last couple weeks have been a little rocky, little bumpy, a lot of traveling, a lot of stuff going on. in everybody's personal lives. I have been, it's that time of year when I fight my pool, so I'm out there fighting my

pool every day, desperately begging it to come back to life. It's that fucking pollen, man. That's the thing. I got this tree, this huge oak tree, some kind of oak tree, and it sits right at the end of the pool. And I used to have two of them, but I caught one of them down. And I really felt bad about it, actually. I had a little ceremony for the tree.

Yeah, you should have. They were twin trees, but one of them was leaning toward the house, and they were choking each other out. And I was like, okay, only one of you is going to survive. five, I'm going to pick, and I just took one of them down. But the second one is a huge oak tree, and then it's got those yellow pollen pollens. Oh, everywhere. Those little fucking things that fall off right before the leaves come, and they fall off and they make the yellow pollen that is so synonymous with Atlanta this time of year.

It is just, I mean, a gust of wind blows, and you can see a patch of yellow smoke. It's like a dust storm. It's a dust storm, a pollen. It gets everywhere. It gets all the time everywhere. And the only thing that solves the problem is a rink. but the rain then exacerbates more pollen. And all of that pollen and all of those polyps fall directly in my pool.

If it's within a mile radius, it just somehow finds its way to my pool. And without fail for the last three years, not the first two years. I don't know what's going on in the first two years. I managed to stave off the pollen situation of my pool. But the polyps fall in the pool, then they get wet, they fall to the bottom, and it turns into just an algae bloom of epic proportions. the pool was as green as I have ever seen it. Green as an Army jacket just two days ago.

So I go, but I can't go to the store like I did last year and spend $1,200 in chemicals to then have it blow up the other way for three days. Right. That was a great story, though, I have to say last year. Weird blue color. It just like blew up. It was like a bomb went off in the pool. I slowly watched a mushroom cloud fill the pool with a super dark, unnaturally. natural blue and it stayed that way for days.

I was like, what happened? You went back to that store. I went back to that store like 30 times. I was like, dude, you told me. It's like, well, that's not good. I'm like, okay, you tested my water. You told me what to put in there. And how many bags did you put in there?

37 bags of salt and 22, like water clarifiers and 44 dealgicides. And he's like, yeah, maybe our math was wrong on that. Let's do it again. Do it again! I just spent $1,000 with you. So this year I said, fuck that guy at the pool store. I know what to do. I know what to do.

Yeah, you do. So I got a pool vacuum. It's a robot. You press the button. Robot goes up and down and back and forth. It's a little like, yeah, a little friend of mine. It takes about four hours. It'll go the entire pool and it'll clean it.

You've got to clean out the basket every couple of hours if it's really dirty. Yeah, if it's really dirty. And then you have the skimmers. Skimmers pull the pool the pool. stuff off the top of the water, but because the pool is so big, it takes 20 hours for the entire pool to be circulated. It's a big pool. It's not small. And then now that all these polyp polyps have fallen at the bottom, the pool robot cannot keep up. I'm just taxing it. I'm asking it to do too much. I'm saying, go little guy, go. Like a car. Yeah.

You're rubbing the hood. I was. I'm talking to it. I'm unplugging it, plugging it, plugging it back in. I'm asking it to go a million times. And it finally said, fuck you. After six years of being at the bottom of this pool, cold, hot, polyps, winter, algae blooms, I've decided, fuck you. I'm in retirement. And the fucking thing just stopped working. And I kicked it and I took the screwdrivers to it and I knocked it against the wall. It just didn't want to work. So I was like, this is a real problem.

And these things are expensive too. Right. They're like $1,200 also. Now, they'll last a couple of years if you treat them right, which I didn't. But okay, you're supposed to take it out after it's done. I don't. I just leave it in there all day, all that. night. It's freezing cold out there. The pool robots out there doing its thing. So I'd say,

all right, I cannot right now get a new pool robot. It's too expensive. I just nod in the cards for me. Listen, I can't do it. So I have to go back to the old vacuum, like the old, you buy a vacuum. And essentially what it is for a pool is it's a tube. And you stick the tube inside of one of the pool filters. So, you know, skimmers, you've seen them. There's pool skimmers. So at the top of the water and they're usually on the sides of the pool and they suck. in the water and then they pull these things in, they pull whatever's on top, though, the water to the basket, and then you clean out the basket. That's how it works. Right now, I've told you about pool mechanics. Now, you know, you can go get your own pool. But if you pull the basket out,

there's a little hole, half inch hole. And you can take a hose and stick it into that half inch hole. And then you can put a vacuum, stick the other side of the hose onto this little... Like a real vacuum or this is a special vacuum? It's a special pool vacuum. But it's really what it is. It's a piece of plastic with a hole at the bottom of it where you... Dick the hose at the top and then it's got a hole. So I would say if your normal vacuum is covering, you know, vacuum like, you know, the kind you have on your carpet has like five, six inches, maybe 10 inches wide of coverage. So, you know, it's not, it takes time to cover the entire area of your floor, but you're going to get it done.

It's like a lawnmower, right? If you have a riding lawnmower, you get a big area done. If you have a pushing more, you get a small area done. This is one and a half inch haul. that you have to have directly over whatever it is you're trying to vacuum. And I have a 120,000 square foot pool. Okay? So I already know this is going to be a real nightmare.

But I'm like, okay, I got to do it. I mean, it's just, I wake up one. It's going to get worse and worse. It's going to get worse. It's going to cost more money. The longer it goes, the more algae that blooms, the more that this thing turns green, the more money I'm going to have to spend on chemicals trying to get it right.

And I have never once, in the entirety of owning this pool, gotten it right. I just don't know how to do it. Dating all the way back to when you filled it up with the garden house. That's right. Which you're not supposed to do, apparently. But, hey, listen, what did I know? Every year you pay thousands of dollars to do this because what was your water bill that year?

It was $4,000, I think. It's $4,000 to fill up the pool. And they called you. They came to the door. The water guy was out in front of my house at the water meter. And he knocked on the, I saw him out there. And I was like, what is he doing? But, you know, it's the city and that's their water meter, and I figured he'd just checking it.

You know, I don't know. And then I, you know, hey, we got an alert on our rain garb system. And I was like, oh, what's that? And he's like, well, anytime someone's water is running for an immense amount of time, it sends a signal to us, like a bat signal through the Wi-Fi. It's great, yeah. And I came in yesterday. It gave me yellow warning. I came in today's flashing hot red.

Brian's house. Brian's house. Green house. Immediately, all water is leaving. Basically, you drained the entirety. The water tower? Of the water tower. And now we're having trouble with the pressure in the other houses.

So I'm just here wondering, what the fuck is going on? I said, I don't know. I got a pool. You got a pool? Yeah, I got a pool. What did you do with that pool? I'm filling it up. With what?

a hose a garden hose I said yeah he goes how big is the pool I said well come on back take a look it's like

two-thirds of the wheel he filled by then and he's like Jesus age Christ that's where all the water went it went from the tower into your pool

that's what it did how many gallons is that I don't know I figure about 120,000. The water tank only got 70 in it. So I figure we got to fill it up twice, get your pool filled. You know, you can call the fire department and have them put one of them

hoses in there and probably be done in a couple minutes. I said, I did not know that. Yeah, and it's free. Oh, well, all right. So when the bill came, so he told me, he said, when the bill comes, you come on down yonder and you talk to old Cindy Lou down there. She'll help you out. And she did. She was like, okay, one-time credit. And I think I ended up paying $400 for the $4,000 worth of water. One-time, dumb, dumb, credit. One-time dumb, credit. Never to make that I. Because honestly, if I thought that I could convince the fire department every year to come out, I would just drain it and refill it. But there's another, there's an unintended concept. Well, here's a thing.

What about the cover? Yeah, they're dangerous. That's the problem. They're dangerous and the size of my pool. They don't make them just like, you have to get a custom one done. Okay, got to. And so the ones that are safe, like really safe, like the ones you can walk on and you, and it would just stay there.

I have the anchors for them, but I would have to get it custom made and that in and of itself. It's extremely expensive. And it does not prevent, you're still going to have a ton of shit fall on that cover and you're going to have to clean it. Right? So there's like one, it's problem after a problem and there's no solution. And it's not, there's nothing good happened. So I go to, so we're about to go to my dad's house for Easter, for Saturday, for the day before Easter. It's Friday and I'm out on a phone call. And I noticed the pool is low on water. The very green pool is low on water. But you can't have it go too low because then

the skimmers start stuck in air and then water breaks and it's a whole thing. So I know that every couple, probably once a week, I put about half an inch of water in the pool. It's, takes me an hour to put in that half an inch of water. That's how big the fucking pool is. So I throw the hose in there. I turn it on. Which is really fun in the summer. It's the best in the summer. When there's no leaves falling, when I pay somebody in the summer to come keep the chemicals managed so that, you know, I don't kill my children with some kind of encephalitis that I'm growing in the bottom of the pool. So I stick the hose in and then I'm on the phone call and then everyone's in a rush to get out to go to dad's house. And so I get in the car and I go. And I get halfway up there. And I'm thinking

to my, it's like leaving the iron on, right? I'm like, oh, fuck. Because two years ago, I did the exact same thing. God. And I totally forgot it. Oh, my God. And I came back home and I could hear, like, I opened the door and I could hear, I could hear that the water was running somewhere, right?

And I was like, well, that's weird. Maybe the water heater. It took me about another hour to look out back of the house and see that the hose was stuck in the pool. The emergency valve could not hand. handle all the water that was going in there. So the pool was to the very, very tippy top. And just like your bathtub, there is an emergency hole. There's a little tiny hole. And it is a pipe that goes out to a little, I call it a river bed. It's a bunch of river stone that we put down there. And so when

the kids are in there and it's splashing, the extra water goes down there and it runs down the back into my neighbor's yard. So the one time that I have drained the pool, which is when I owned it, when the very first time, we were going to get it renovated and we had to drain. That was the worst I've heard. There were frogs living in the pool. Frogs and fish living in the pool. You think I'm joking. I'm not.

It was a frog pound. That's exactly. And I don't know how fish. I've seen those on shows before. Yeah. And I don't know how the fish got there, but there were fish in there. Fish? They fly?

Do the fish fly? Do they walk? Do they flip and flop over? I don't know. But we found a fish in there. I think somebody threw it in there. I think they were, you know, being smart. Yeah.

So the one time that we drained the pool was the very, first time. I got it. And when I drain the pool, I had no house over the pool equipment. The pool equipment was very old. And we had no clue what we were doing. And the guy who was coming to renovate the pool said, the only thing I need to do is drain the pool. I got to do is take this cap off the back and start the motor and it's just going to spit it out. And I said, oh, okay, like I was on the phone with him. And I just, I don't think I listened to him quite the way I should have. I said, yep, cap. Motor got it. Turn it on. Go take off cap. Take off cap, turn on motor, and wouldn't you know it?

Just water just comes pouring out the back. I had no riverstone. I had no river rock. I just had a slope down into my neighbor's backyard. So six hours later, I had the neighbor knocking on my back door. And I was like, who's that guy? And I opened the sliding glass door and he goes, hey, man, nice to meet you. I know you're new in the neighborhood, but you're causing a real problem in my backyard.

And I was like, what are you talking about? And he goes, you're draining the pool or whatever you're doing. He goes, I got a half an inch of water on my grass back there. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. I didn't realize. So I go run out there. I turned it off.

And I swear to God, half an inch of water. It looked like rice fields. I was, we're both going back there. And he's like, I do, I work real hard to try and keep. And he goes, and listen, I don't think I'd be so bothered. Or he goes, he goes, I don't think, he goes, I think I'd be more bothered if this water wasn't like natural water. And I go, what do you mean? And he goes, well, clearly it's got no chlorine in it. Look at the color. It's just rainwater. And I was like, fair, fair point.

Yeah. That's fertilizer. I'm fertilizing your grass. Right. Right. So what the guy told me was, please, the pool guy, so when I tell the pool guy this, he's like, yeah, dude, I told you, turn it on for an hour, turn it off for two hours. Turn it on for an hour, turn it off for two hours. It's going to take you a whole day. You got to do this. Because if you don't, you're just going dump 70,000 gallons of water into your neighborhood. I don't think anybody wants that. Well, I probably dumped 35 of the 70 gallons into my neighbors. Anyway, so I call, I call justice. I know. So now, fast forward to this Saturday. Can't remember whether or not I turned off the hose. Remembering the last time I put the hose in there in a day and a half and I caused another drama in the back of my

neighbor's yard. And luckily, I don't think he was home because he never came over, but I saw it. It was a lot of fucking water in his backyard. I ran the, that's like turning the hose on and just leaving it in your neighbor's backyard for two fucking days. That's it. That was also a hell of a water bill, by the way. And no credit for that one. No credit for fucking moron. Okay. No, they gave you the credit once. They gave me the credit once. So I get halfway up to my dads and I'm like, fuck, you can't remember. Did I? I think I did. I think I did. So I get up to dads and I text justice of my neighbor and I say, hey, man, do me a favor. Can you run over and check?

He says, yeah, I'll go over there right now. And, you know, Justice responds. He's like, well, you turn the hose off, no problems. And I'm like, oh, thank God. And he goes, and I got to admire the color of your pool right now. It's like, you got quite the horticultural exhibit going on in that pool. And then I wonder why when we tell them they can use the pool any time they want to, they're like, we saw it a couple months ago.

I don't know what magic trick you pulled to make it magically clear. now, but I saw the frogs in there. So then I just, I told As soon, I said, I don't know what we got to do, but we got to clean up that pool. It's just going to get worse. So I go to Home Depot. I think I know what to do. I'm just going to shock the shit out of the pool.

So here's how it works. The old shocker. Give them the old shocker. One in the pink, two in the stick. So you can go and you can buy something called shock. Yes, I've seen that. Yeah, it's just a bag. You tried that last year, didn't you?

Well, the problem was I added the shock with a bunch of other chemicals, and the chemicals started working against each other. Oh, right. Caused a science experiment in my pool. There was like smoke coming off the water. I swear to God. I read about it online. It was like, you know, stay on.

Yeah, it's like burning my eyes. I'm like, I put lie in there. I put fucking lie in the pool with de-algifier, with some other stuff that, algifies with chlorine. I just put a toxic soup of chemical. I'm surprised anybody survived swimming in that pool last year. But hey, six weeks later, it was perfectly clear. So I say, all right. So I know I got a job. I know one little bag of shock is supposed to make your pool, supposed to make up to 20,000 gallons of water clear and clean and ready to swim in 15 minutes.

But that's when the pool is kind of like at a baseline. Right. Not when it's completely dark green, Hunter Green. So I'm like, let me get a box of this stuff, which is like 10 bags, right? So I get 10 bags of shock, a 10 box. I get a, I have my pool broom. Right. You can brush the algae off and it'll come off the bottom or the sides of the pool and kind of like a fog.

It'll make the pool fog. And here's in principle what's supposed to happen. You put the shock in there, the shock eats the algae, kills the algae, right? Yeah. And this process, when it happens, turns like a turquoise blue, like the blue of the ocean. Like the blue is blue you've ever seen of the ocean. That's not a natural... Beautiful blue.

That's not a natural color that happens in swimming pools. It's not supposed to. You're really just supposed to be clear, like to be able to see the bottom. It's not supposed to add any color. So I go around the pool and I'm pouring all these bags in. Then I sweep up the sides of the pool, you know, which takes like an hour as quite the workout. out and then I take a look and this thing is just like neon blue, neon blue. It's lighting half the neighborhood. The sun is out, but the pool's, it's actually emanating light. It's eating so much algae.

It's like, it's like on fire, the turquoise blue fire. And I'm like, wow, is that supposed to happen? I asked chat. And chat's like, nah, not really, you know, I don't know what you're doing, but I can't test water, unfortunately. I don't know what's happening in there. So I look at the, so I get one of those test strips. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know what they mean, but, you know, I put them in there and match it up to the thing thinking I know. I have those for drinking water, but yeah.

Yeah. The chlorine level, the hard chlorine level is that, you know, red is the highest level. It's like a dark brown. It's beyond chlorinated. And Astrid comes out and she's like, well, looks better and I go, I think it went the other direction. Don't touch it. Yeah, don't touch it.

Get your goggles on, hon. Keep the kids inside. The eclipse glasses. Close the window. Don't turn on the air conditioner. So I'm out there sweeping. And then I'm trying to vacuum all the shit from the bottom. And I will tell you what, I have never had more problems with one single.

It's just a pipe. It's just a pipe that sucks water that you're supposed to then put on the bottom of of the pool and suck all the junk up. But when the junk gets sucked up, it goes into a separate basket in the pool equipment that then you have to clean out, right? It's like a catcher. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the emergency catcher. In a normal situation, does pool baskets catch most of the junk? And then the emergency catcher catches the remainder of the junk. And then if all else fails, it goes into your jandy filter, which is this big thing. Jandy filter. Yeah, it's got these, like, like, filters on them, like these, there's no other way to put it, except like a filter you would put on your

on your heater or your HVAC? Yeah, yeah. Except they're like tightly wound and put in these like cylinders, these three and a half feet halls cylinders. There's four of them in there. All the water gets poured in there. And then the water gets sucked through these filters and then back into the pool. So all else fails.

It's just supposed to stop anything from going in the pool. But the thing is, is that the filters themselves can get dirty and every six months you have to clean them. Of course. clean them three times just yesterday. That's how fucking dirty this pool is. You're supposed to clean them every six months. I clean them three times in a fucking day, in a day. I hate this pool with all my might. The pool and blue hold equal places in my heart. They are awful. Awful. I don't know what to do. And so now it's just a bright blue out there. It's just, oh, I can't wait to see this.

Yeah, it's bright blue. I don't know what. I don't know what to do. It went from Army Green to bright blue. To like literally this bright, unnatural blue. And I don't know what to do. Right. You don't know how to counter it. Like if you put too much salt in something, then you can add like a little. Yeah.

Bace. And then, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But she's just like, this is not baking. This is 70,000 gallons of water. So my inclination is just to buy more shock and shock the shit out of it. Yeah, I know. It might have been too much.

The problem is, is that chlorine will stay in your pool. I have a salt, I have a filter, like a salt cell. So it shocks the water to make more chlorine. So the more chlorine I put in there, the more chlorine I get is like an amplifier for chlorine. So I don't know what to do. So Astrid this morning, I come in and Astrid's doing like a household budget. She's like, how much is a pool guy? Yeah, exactly.

And I'm like, I don't know. Exactly. And I go, why? And she goes, because let's get the pool. Let's do that. Let's do that. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's all fucking around. Figure out how to get another robot and let's get the pool. That seemed to be working well last year. But you can't figure it out. She was like, I'll go out there and vacuum and I go, honey, it's not that I don't believe you can do the vacuuming. I don't want you to. This is a dangerous process.

You're working with high pressure pumps and water that is clearly not okay. And the animals that, I don't know. The other day I was watching the birds were swirping down and drinking the water. Oh. Like in a bird bath. You know, we've all seen bird bath water. That's basically what my pool was, bird bath water.

Oh, yeah. Swooping down and drinking the water. Before you put the shock in it. Before I put the shock at it. Yeah, they were so happy. They were like, oh, look at this. Thank you. Squirrels.

There's like a whole Disney movie going on outside. Yeah, you had the frog last time that was, you know, yeah. Every year we get a couple frogs that just make a home in the pool and I got to run around with the net trying to catch them. They're fast little fuckers. They are. They know how to swim underwater. I don't. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how to maneuver the thing. So you got to kind of corner them and then just hope they jump out. But one year, I had a whole thing with a frog. I would get them out and I'd put him out in the back of the yard. And he, two minutes later, he'd bounce right back in the water. This went on like six. It was like a show. We were doing a cartoon in my backyard. So finally I had to walk him down the street and shut up on the side of the road. I don't want to be mean

But what else was I to do? But you should have Tossed him to the neighbor's yard Yeah well I did at one point And he found his way under the fence And came back He knew what he wanted He's like fuck you

I was here first Remember when the pool was green That was my family I owned this pool He's coming back He's like Native Americans Returning to the reservation

That's my land you fucked hard I want that back All right, we'll take a break. Yeah, we'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment

while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Best to you, best to you, best to you, best to you. I hate how that song just ends like that.

Oh, it does. Yeah, that's a broad. I don't know why it cuts off like that. It's a little weird. A little piccadillo about that particular song as it just ends. I don't know if it, whatever. Anyway, Kanye West is an idiot.

Yeah, denied entry into the UK. Yeah. And now that whole festival. has been canceled. Yeah, the whole festival's been canceled. Which is a big deal. I mean, I've seen with Jeff every year putting on these festivals, it's a lot of work. It leads up to the announcement. How do you? I mean, I guess you just refund everybody the tickets and you pay your fines from the certain companies, the venue and the all the people you hired to do all the stuff, the porta-potties. I mean, there must be in, well, here's a thing is that it actually wasn't canceled because the festival didn't want. Kanye to play. It was canceled because Kanye was denied entry into the U.K. Based on his clear anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism. He's like online bragging about how he sold, you know, $20 million worth of swastikos. I mean, I know he's mentally ill. And I don't want to make fundamentally ill people because I know a few myself. I might be one of them.

We all are at some degree. But I know the difference between right and wrong. And I know the difference between, you know, saying things that are like, they're just some things. you just don't think and you just don't say. There's just things. And didn't he, just recently, I read that he took out some full-page ad and made your paper saying, I'm sorry, that must have been somehow tied to all of this. But the UK still just said, no. Yeah.

No, they said no. We're not doing it. The Keir-Starmers said, no, you're not allowed in. The government voted or they did whatever. They revoked the passport or the visa, whatever it was. And I think that's the right call. Listen, we are going to have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. And unlike the United States, Kier Starmor has some balls and willing to do it.

Right. You know, there's just some stuff that we just have to say as a society that we're not willing to accept. And your one page apology in L.A. Weekly is not enough. You have to show a pattern of being humbled and apologetic. And the truth is, is that he can still make millions of dollars. He just did two, three shows in L. I can't even believe the demand. $35 million, Live Nation paid him to do those two shows.

$35 million. Where's the outrage at Live Nation? Where's the outrage at Live Nation? There's no Jewish people that work at Live Nation? I mean, like, there's no like reasonable, sane human being. It's just about the almighty dollar. And I realize a corporation is not a person and does not have morals. And it is only driven by the people who are inside the organization willing to make tough decisions, even when it costs them money.

But there are people that are in the process. Yes, that's right. But they don't give a shit. They just want to make the fucking money. And listen, I don't care how good Kanye, how you think Kanye was this. He's got a few good songs. great. But I just think he just went way too far. And you can say he was trolling or he was mentally ill or whatever. Great. Go, get help. Do the thing that everybody does when they clearly

are having a problem. And that is go work on yourself. And then come back and explain to us all what happened and say your apologies and let us make a decision then whether or not you are worthy of my $185 to see you from the 155 row of SoFi Stadium. But, you know, know, these people who booked him in the festival, they should have known better in the first fucking place. They should have known better. I mean, it's just the dumb, it was just the dumb thing to do. And listen, I don't have anything against Kanye West personally, except for the fact that he's a terrible human being the last couple of years. He's displayed horrible behavior. Yes, horrible behaviors. Chumbing up to some of the worst people in the world,

amplifying some of the worst sentiments in the world and conspiracy theories and all this shit, he's fucking out of control that Kanye West. And we shouldn't be awarding him with yet, more money and more riches. Wasn't he just in court, too, with the contractor from his house? You know, he totally just left that thing. Oh, he did? Yeah, he bought that house and was gutting it. Yeah, doing all kinds of stuff to it.

And then I think he just totally left it and didn't pay people. So, I mean. That adds up. That adds up. Him and all of his buddies. Donald Trump's known for doing that. Yeah. That too.

It's festival season. And just like to get away from Kanye West just for a second, I mean, there's a lot of work that goes into those festivals. Having put on my own Mountain Jam Festival myself, I know that there's logistics involved that are tons of logistics just to have 100 people half naked up on the top of a mountain listen to shitty music for a day. I mean, I know that there's lots of logistics that go into this. You have to think about a lot of things, pay a lot of people, sign a lot of contracts. Get the sponsors. I mean, that's another thing with all this.

I think that's kind of what started it, right? One of the sponsors pulled out. PayPal, Pepsi, and Diego. All Diageo. They all canceled Diego. Diego. Jeff's friend. I know. I don't know why I think that every time. Diageo, PepsiCo, and then PayPal. They all pulled out of the festival after Kanye was announced. And I mean, that's a big deal. You can't run the festival without getting the sponsors. You really can't unless somebody's just funding it.

Yeah. I mean, like people might think, oh, half a million people are going to show up. Ticket sales typically cover some of the cost. So you have someone like Kanye, you might be paying him $5, $6 million just to do an hour of music. That's not unusual, right? I think, I don't know. I heard this somewhere in the universe between you and I, that Pearl Jam was asking for like $5 million to play for about an hour and a half or something like that in one of their festivals. Well, guess what? All the ticket sales in the world are not going to cover Pearl Jam plus Kanye plus, you know, Dave Matthews, plus Counting Crows, plus. plus

Diplo Diplo Diplo I'm going to go to Chalda to see Diplo it's not

going to cover all of the crash test dummies I mean when you're trying to get crash test dummies in there

you got to have a good $30 $400 in your account to do that but you do that times

these big festivals do that times 30 or 40 where they're paying they might outlay

$50 million $60 million just for the talent and that doesn't include any of The infrastructure.

Oh, Coachella for sure, has to put that out. Oh, yeah. And so that's why Coachella is like $500 for a base ticket, $1,000 for a base ticket, is because they don't, they have activations, but they tend not to have like big overarching sponsors, at least they didn't at some point. And so they charged it straight to the people who were showing up. You've got to because that's where you make your money on these sponsorship deals, on selling alcohol, on selling merch, on, you know, Budweiser will come in and pay you

a million dollars to sell, you know, their beer at the festival and they'll set up all the infrastructure there. It's a weird, wacky, wild world, and these festivals keep getting bigger and they keep, and it's harder and harder to make money doing them. And you can exit times 10. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to X your profit times 10 if you make any profit at all. Look at Bonneroo. I, you know, I know Bonneru's probably turns a profit almost every year, right? And even on the years it rains, because they cash in on the rain insurance. But, you know, even a festival like Bonnery that is tried and true, that is really the OG big time, three-day festival with big names out there, for years, they were not making money doing that festival. Oh, yeah, you don't.

They were being propped up by investors and people who just had a lot of money and were willing to see it through until Live Nation came in and bought it. And, you know, now it's kind of a different animal. They can stuff it in a line and say, oh, we lost a couple million dollars. But, you know, the name Bonaru means enough to our ticket sales or we're making enough off-service fees. Yeah, if you want to have a quality festival that people want to return to each year, you've got to put money into it. You got to put money into it. It's not just about the talent. Yeah.

So now imagine this, and you probably can confirm this, you got $50 million worth of outlay for bands, right? Let's say that at least 10% of that is due upon signing, right? No band in the world is just going to show up and trust that you're going to pay them. it's due on signing when you sign the contract maybe a year before the festival even happens right as soon as the festival 25 is over you're signing for 2026 yeah because that's how it goes and then you're going to let's let's take pearl jam for example all right pearl jam's going to go play mempho they're not but i'm just saying an example pearl jam's going to go play mempho jeff Jeff gets done with mempho 2025 he's already in negotiations with the talent management with pearl jam for 2026 shortly after 2025 is over pearl jam says yes will play. And Jeff puts in his contract, great. You're not going to play another festival within 500 miles. Yeah, there's a radius clause. Yeah, a radius clause or two weeks. And that's that. So now Pearl Jam is locked in. That's their date. They're going to make $5 million in that two weeks. And they've taken themselves off the market for 500, 600 miles, whatever it is, a thousand miles.

I don't know. So they've taken themselves off the market. And Jeff goes ahead and pays them a $500,000 deposit upon signing. And then the moment that Pearl Jam shows up, on the property, they are due, the other $450,000, $500,000. And if you don't send, if you don't have that check in your hand, they're not playing. And that's just a fact. And there are so many stories out there about festivals where, you know, promoters are rushing to get somebody a check, you know, last minute or someone has to be shuffled in the order because they weren't paid on time or whatever. All that money has to be outlaid ahead of time. not after you sell all the tickets

you can't hedge your bet like that you have to be well funded in the sense that you have to pay a bunch of money out front you think the staging company is going to take your word for it that you'll get paid later nope got to put a 50% deposit down and then pay us the other 50%

after we wrap up or however the deals are arranged so when you have a festival like this where yee's playing whatever the fuck his name is now yee's playing everybody's going to show up there's hundreds of thousands of people that's tens of millions of dollars that you better have in your pocket and you better be ready to pay

So when they cancel a concert like this, there's at least millions of dollars that will never be seen again. At least someone's losing millions of dollars. And I don't think insurance is going to cover it. Or maybe they do. Maybe if... I don't know how that works. I'd have to ask Jeff about that because, I mean, if literally the artist was allowed into the country to play at the festival, I don't know. There's got to be some kind of insurance that covers that, right?

Well, I mean, I guess you don't pay Kanye anymore, too. Oh, certainly you're getting your money back from Kanye. Yeah. I can't imagine that. Well, I'm sure there'll be a big legal fight about that, too. He probably got paid something. It is crazy. But I mean, he's got enough fucking money. You got paid $35 million to do two or three shows in L.A. And if they're sold out and people are paying thousands of dollars to see him fucking cares. Who fucking cares? Honestly, you know what you do? Take that money and go see Project Hail Mary. It was a good movie. Oh, yeah. I'm going to ask you about that. Yeah,

it was good. We got some free tickets. It's getting good reviews. Someone, 97% rotten tomato. Okay. That's big. Yeah, it was. One of Astrid's friends, knowing that we, you know, don't have a pot to piss and said, hey, I've got these free tickets to go see Project Hail Mary. And if you want to use them, you're welcome to do it.

And Gustavo and Al-A. were in town, so we had some babysitters. And so Astrid's, there were like movie passes, and you can just go use them, right? And Astrosse said, what do you want to see? And I said, I don't know, what's out there? She said, Project Home. I said, yeah, I like that Ryan Gosling guy, and I've seen the commercials, and it looks good. I don't know what the fuck it's about. A little spider, alien?

Space. Space movie. Yeah. So let's talk about space movies. Let's take a break and we'll talk about space movies. In honor of a slingshoting around the moon. That's going to be a good segue to talk about a slingshot around the moon. We'll take a break.

We'll take a break. And we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-3-tcb. That's 212-433.

22. Visit our website, TCBpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult. Now was it? You're welcome. Ah, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, boy. So we get these free tickets from the lady, And she says, go out and have a good time, treat yourself. Be young again, is what she says. So ask her tonight.

And kids go have fun. We did. We split a popcorn into sody pop. And those popcorns are huge. Even the small. God damn, dude. And they're fucking expensive, man. I mean, we got free tickets and ended up to spend $38 anyway.

I took my nephews to the movies a little while back and it was crazy. I was like, what? We got this movie theater up here. Mainly plays family movies and like old running movies. Kind of like a dollar theater, but not really a dollar theater. But if you go before 7 o'clock or 6 o'clock on a Saturday or or Sunday. The movie tickets are $7.50 for kids, $9 for adults, and then it's reasonable. Like, the snacks are reason. You can take a family. Yeah. I go to AMC, and it's like the only option for

popcorn I have is one size, and it's $17.99. And it's like $17.000. I really don't need that much popcorn. And then, of course, we eat the entire popcorn. I know. It's so hard to put down. I know. And Astrid said this, then it's right. I don't like the butter on it either. Their butter. It's all right. It's already buttered. Yeah, it's already buttered. Let it be buttered. And it stinks.

That butter stinks. What are they putting in? Cheese? I like that ranch stuff you can put on there. Like you get the little ranch shakers. Yeah, but now they charge $10 for those things too. You used to be able to do that for free. Now they get you.

I get you a little, now I'm taking condiments, you know. I've got a spice rack. I'm bringing it into the movie theater. It's fucked up. Sneaking in ranch. Yes. I'm sneaking in my ranch salt. So, oh, and Astrosse.

is something that's absolutely true is that the M&Ms, the peanut M&Ms at the movie theaters are hands down. The best peanut M&Ms anywhere in the world. And I don't know why. I do love a good peanut M&M. I don't know if they make them differently for the movie theaters, but they just, they just taste different and they're just better. I don't know. She's right. I agree. You're in the dark eating them. Yeah, you're in the dark. You're eating them. Nobody's watching you. Nobody's watching you. The bag is different. You know, it's not that cheap, each plastic bag. It's like a real, you know. It's like a real. Yeah, it's like a real. This is going to end up in the ocean and never degrade bag.

You're like, oh, this is good. None of that fucking recyclable bullshit. So we go and six o'clock movie time, 6.30 the movie starts for a 6 p.m. showing. Oh, I realize this as well. And when I took my nephew's, yes, 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Out of control.

Now, I love the trailers. I honestly love watching the trip. That's even only like 15 minutes. The rest of it is just other stuff. stuff. Well, no, this was 30 minutes of trailers. Okay. In front of Project Hail Mary. I think I was saying like commercials. No. There was maybe one commercial, maybe two. Maybe it was like a PepsiCo and then Nicole Kidma, you know, talking about how she loves the movies. That's right. But the rest of it was previews. We saw Star Wars preview for the Grogo movie. We saw the Dune preview, which I was really

excited about. Oh, yeah, you love Dune. And then a couple of other ones I can't remember, I can't recall. But I am very excited about Dune coming this December, part three. It looks very good. It's just such a great series of movies and I can't wait to the final part. But anyway, so then 6.30 it starts. It's a two and a half hour long movie. So we get there at six. We're not leaving until nine o'clock. It's a long, it's a long time to be sitting in the chair, even though they have those comfortable chairs. This movie was excellent. It was excellent. Now, I think they probably could have shaved 30 minutes off of the movie here or there, right? And just like found some scenes that are like a little non-congruent to the story. And this movie, while a space movie, is really a movie about

friendship. That's exactly what it is. It's a movie about the friendship that Ryan Gosling and his alien buddy strike up in the middle of space trying to save the sun from being eaten by little bugs. I mean, it's a far-fetched idea. But apparently Project Hail Mary is such a popular book that it's like one of the top audiobooks ever sold. Oh really? They had the guy who did the audio, like the reading of the audio, they had him do a pre-like a pre-log

to the movie because I guess his voice is so popular doing this movie. I don't fucking know. But anyway, maybe he did like the alien voice or whatever. The alien, I come to find out in this movie is actually a puppet and not CGI. So this was being puppeteered by someone and the puppeteer

also did the voice of the alien. which is not speaking. It's making a series of noises. Grunts. Grunts. You know, and then Ryan Gosselin's character figures out how to translate, you know. And they're up there for years. I don't know.

It's so long they're up there. And it's day after day. And, you know, the alien ends up being like a really annoying roommate, like a blue, essentially. Always on top of Ryan, never letting him be, you know, running around, causing problems. It's like a little comedy character, right? but it's the fucking cutest little thing. And it ends up becoming a movie about friendship and sacrifice and what you do for a friend. And that ends up being a real tearjerker in the end.

I'm not going to give away. You go see it. You figure it out. Yeah, no, I want to see it. But it's a real tear jerker in the end. My wife was crying for the last 15 minutes of the movie. I even found myself with some tears. It was sweet.

It was tugging at your heartstrings at times. It felt very sad at others. And then it was sweet. Like, you know, all those emotions wrapped up along with the big swooping music. And, you know, it just ended up being a well put together movie. No one else could have played this character except for Ryan Gosling. I'm sure of it. And whoever did the puppeteering, whatever his name is, he's like a Sesame Street guy, whatever.

He is really fucking good in this playing essentially a rock with legs. That's what it's what it is. It's a rock with legs. The character doesn't even have a face. It just like, it sees things through sonar. Okay. So it doesn't have a face. It's got like a series of sensors. I don't know how to say it. But is an alien. What do you want me to do? It's hard time describing. It's a spider rock. It's a rock spider. It's a rock spider. It's a rock spider. He communicates. He clicks and noises. He's a rock spider. That's what he is. Go look at the trailer. You can see it. Right. And it's just really well done. It's got 97 on rotten tomatoes. And every bit deserves. I agree. I agree 100%. I think we could have cut a few minutes off of it. Brian two thumbs up. Brian gives it two boners.

That's it. Two bones up? I give it a full hard on. That's what I give it. A full hard on and two testicles. I give it the full shaft. Nice. Okay.

No softy here. No half hard. No softy. No any. No cold water any. This one's a full 20-year-old hard on. Okay. Yes.

Strong. That's right. That's high school math class boner on this one for sure. I loved it. I thought it was great. And maybe the kids can see it. You know, there's not a lot of cussing. There's nothing to be concerned about.

It's just, it's complicated when certain things happen. I think they might be scared or whatever. They wouldn't catch it or they might be a little nervous about some stuff. Actually, they got so excited. I got these magazines from 10 years ago. I don't know. It's called the 100 Greatest Science Fiction Movies by Time. And there's another magazine, you know, the Disney World, whatever.

And in both of those magazines, they dedicate a couple of pages to the movie E.T. Oh, so good. And Stephen Spielberg and E.T. And so my kids get this thing in their head a couple weeks ago, last week, whenever it was. They have to see E.T. They want to see E.T. And I said, well, I don't know. Because we all know that while E.T. an extremely cute family movie is horrifyingly scary at points. It just is. It's just Stephen Spielberg.

I think he's at the top of his powers, right? And it's like maybe a boxer with a punch too strong just doesn't know how strong he is. And he punches above his weight and he's trying to make this kid's movie, but he takes it a little bit too. He hits a little bit too hard sometimes with E.T. And there are parts that are hard to understand that deal with life and death and that are just scary. You just don't understand. Tell me it didn't fucking scare the shit out of you when you were a kid and saw an entire house wrapped in plastic. It's big scary men with space helmets on taking care of dying E.T. and Elliott, right? It's scary.

So I show my kids a couple of trailers, a couple of scenes in the movie on YouTube, and I say, and they're like, yeah, let's see it, let's do it. And so we all sit down, except for my youngest, we all sit down last week and we turned it on. And we probably didn't get an hour into that movie before one of my kids was hiding under the couch. And the other kid was like, I don't think I want to watch the rest of this. Yeah. There's a hard time of understanding. There is a little sweet spot as far as the age. I think, you know, eight or nine maybe might be that sweet spot where you can understand. And you can understand it's not, in fact, real.

I mean, when you look at it now through the eyes of however old I am, when you look at it through my eyes, it's clear that ET is a really terrible puppet. You know what I'm saying? It's not like particularly impressive puppet. Even though they try to jazz it up with a little bit of CGI. I still some of the. And a scarf and a hat. Yeah, and a scarf and a hat, little Drew Barrymore.

It's just adorable. I know, she really is. Yeah. What's her name, Tudy or Rudy? Or something like that. I can't remember her. Anyway, she was cute as a button. But E.T. is, you know, it's just a great movie.

Astro and I were talking about as we were leaving last night, it's like all these space movies from Apollo 13 to, you know, Project Hale Mary to Inception to, oh, no, not Inception, Interstellar to, I mean, all these movies. Contact. they're all so fucking fantastic. There is something about aliens and space that make a good storyline, a good base for a story. So you walk into Project Hayle Mary and you think you're going to see

a space movie and what you end up seeing is just a movie about... Did Spielberg do Project Hell Mary? No. He's coming out, I think, with another... He's got another one or space. Yes. Oh, that's the other trailer that we saw.

It's called Discovery Day. Disclosure Day. It's a Disclosure Day. It's a disclosure day. Okay. Wow. Does that look wild? I mean, the trailer was, I didn't understand a fucking thing about the trailer.

And it was wild. Some of the visuals that were in that trailer, I was like, holy shit. I mean, listen, Stephen Spielberg, I'm in. Oh, yeah. I'm in, yeah. He's a mainstream director. He's probably the best that ever lived. Yeah, him and Coppola and Lucas.

Lucas, well, Lucas had a short run, but he had a good run. He had a short run, but he had a good run. Then he tried to revan it. his own Star Wars, it ended up being real shitty. But, you know, Francis Ford Coppola, you think of... Although, did you see that? What was the one that he just did? Oh, you got a call coming.

Yeah, I got a call coming. I should probably turn that off. What was the one that he just did here in Georgia? I still haven't seen that one yet. You know, it kind of flopped, unfortunately. Yeah. Metropolis. But apparently it's supposed to be...

Megalopolis. Megalopolis. Yes, you're right. Brian did not get it wrong. I did not get it wrong. Not get it wrong. I got that one right. Right. Right. High five.

Didn't he buy an entire like... Yeah, you bought a whole hotel. Hotel? Called it the Megalopolis Hotel or whatever. Yeah, but apparently it's one of those movies that you'll watch in 20 years or something and then really get it. Some people have said, wow, brilliant, right? Well, listen, a lot of people didn't get apocalypse now when it came out either, right? And now we think of it as one of the best movies ever made.

But a lot of people thought it was just, you know, essentially Vietnam. porn, right? They just thought it was just like a weird movie that had nothing. He was trying to make a point, but there was no point to it or whatever. Now I watch that movie and I am in awe of that movie every time I watch it. Charlie Sheen is great. Anyway, who's the other one who just, who does all the gangster movies, not Coppola. Oh, sorry, God. Why am I blanking? Why are we blanking? Short guy. Yes, of course. It's funny. He does the Rolling Stones movies too. I know. Scorsese. Scorsese. Scorsese. Okay. Scorsese.

Yeah. Listen, we can go on and on with directors. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of them that are fantastic. But I will say that I'm in on the Stephen Spielberg. I'm in on the disclosure day. I just don't understand what the fuck it's about. Obviously, it's about the day of disclosure.

It's about someone figures out that the government has been hiding and he has like proof of it and he's going to disclose it to someone. It looks like a weather, weather lady for whatever reason. I need to watch the trailer. I just read an article about it. Yeah, watch the trailer. I can't explain it. I didn't understand it. So how can I explain it? It's all weird. Anyway, really good. And that just put a perfect cap on the day after we spent hours watching the Artemis 2, the Orion, the Gemini capsule. That was so cool yesterday. I was even walking around the house. I was doing stuff. I had the headphones in, listening to everything. And it was just so cool. Quite amazing. Yes.

Quite amazing that we've done this and that we have now traveled as far as humans will have ever traveled. And two new craters. Two new craters all the way around the dark side of the moon. Something that we can never see that we don't, we can't see with our naked eye anyway, that I'm sure that we've seen with other probes and stuff like that. But we've never seen. And just to listen to them describing what they were seeing the entire way was really, really fascinating. It was very, very bright.

The weird thing was, I was driving this morning. I got a cup of coffee at like five in the fucking morning. And I was coming home from coffee. And there it was the half moon in the sky. You know, no light outside. You know, the city is dark. It's the best time to see the moon if you can catch it right before the sun comes up. And I'll tell you what, it just looked brilliant.

It looked brilliant. And I don't know if that's because I was just looking at it a different way or because it was particularly brilliant, but it was just brilliant and made me think that there are people up there, up there, up there, it looks like you could reach and grab it, but you know it's 250,000 miles away. That is insane that those people took that ride.

And I hope they get home safely. Yeah, and I guess they came within like 4,000 miles. 4,000 miles. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, which is, you know, close-ish, I guess. Yeah. Hey, listen, if I'm traveling around the moon, keep me out of the moon. You know what I'm saying?

I don't want to get sucked into the moon. that gravity. I just want to be slingshot around. I want to get home so I can take a shit in my own bathroom. Right. The poor shitter still. Yeah, I know. The toilet still. I know. I was listening yesterday on the radio. Yeah, the toilet's still not working. Yeah, they're like, it was the first time they were attempting that, a space toilet. Like, uh, maybe you just go in bags. Gemini, this is Houston. Yeah, listen to we, um, we're now going to have a one hour and 15 minute. No toilet break. It's scheduled.

You're going to use your personal CACs. I was like CACs. What are those? CAS is whatever they were. I don't know. It's a bag. Cabin full of shit. Yeah, it's a bag. And I thought to myself, Jesus, fucking Christ, this has got to be a stinky minky up there right now. They have no way to jettison the shit.

And that's what they do. They jettison it. They just let it out. Let it go. I guess. That's what you do, right? Well, this is the first time they did the toilet. Yeah, they used to just have a tube.

You stuck up your ass, I guess. Bags, yeah, they would go in and piss in a bag. But it's got to be a messy affair when you have no gravity. I just don't want to think about it. Yeah, you're going to have containers for everything. I just hold it. You would probably. I would.

I would. I'd be shy. I bet part of the training I would got to imagine is learning how to poop in front of other people. It's got to happen. Well, there's probably a private space. There is. It's a little door you can close. I saw it.

Like you go in there. It turns a little door that you can close. But you still can see their head, like, you know. So I don't. Yeah, that's got to be part of the training. There's no gravity. I think it's going back up. I think it's going up.

Yeah. I wonder if it vacuums like that one in the airplane. You know, like it's got to do that. There's probably a couple days on training on that, I would imagine. I would think so. Got to have shit training. Yeah, you do. Poop training.

Correct. it's time for poop train. We're all going to stare at each other while we poop just to make sure we can't use to it. Yeah, hey, listen, you know, they cover all bases up there. I got to imagine there's just like a whole protocol about that in a training and a conversation that happens in the most professional astronaut way. Astronaut way. And then I saw the other day, I saw this. And maybe I'll get the video. We'll play it tomorrow. The black guy that's up there. I can't remember his name. I can't remember any of their names

to know us with you. No. Christine is the one, the woman. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right, handsome. Handsome dude. Handsome.

He is. Stacked, built like a brick. You know, the guys. Well, they've all got to be fit. Yeah. I mean, he's fit, right? And he looks fit with a shirt on and a space suit on. So if he look fit with a space suit on,

you can only imagine what you look like without the clothes on. So there he is in his little, you know, NASA shorts, a little three-inch seam NASA shorts. And he takes off his shirt, right, to go change. change shirts. I imagine, I don't know what he was doing, but he's floating around, changing shirts. And it's like three in the morning. And the people in, there's one camera on Houston where there's a bunch of people watching all of, you know, watching and monitoring. Nothing's going

on. He's just changed, and then there's another camera of them inside the vehicle. And one of the girls, like the flight director, it's like, let's say his name is Jason. Orion, this is Houston? Yeah, go ahead, Houston. We just want to let you know that the camera is streaming, Jason. If you, we cut off the stream just in case, in case you did not want that to go out. We've cut off the stream, but we did capture, we did capture you. We all captured.

I'm capturing. Yes, I've captured a load of liquid in my aunties. and we just wanted to let you know that so let us know and we'll turn it back on and he goes yeah it's all good it's all good I don't care that's what he said

he goes I don't care whatever yeah if I look that I wouldn't care either right yeah no built like that fuck I'd be walking around my shit off all day long yeah he's looking he's looking for those sponsorship dollars after he gets down back from the moon

Yeah, he's going to be on the Wheaties box with his shirt off. The guy's handsome, got to tell you, I was like, wow. But just his response was like, told me everything I needed to know. Yeah, he said, he said, I don't care, whatever, let it rip. Let it rip. Turn back on. I'm taking my space undies off next. You thought that was impressive.

Have you ever seen a weightless anaconda? Coming up next. That's great. The first space dick measuring contest. Oh, God. I wonder what Cindy Lou is doing up there or whatever her name. Cynthia. Cynthia?

Christine. Yeah. Wow. Geez. She's, you know, good for all of them. Congratulations. Yes. No, it was a moment.

So I was watching it when they, you know, broke the record. Yeah. And they all hugged and they were crying and took a few moments to, like, really celebrate that. Of course. I was celebrating too. I was like, yes. You got to compose yourself. You got to understand your place in history now.

You know, it'll be a small one when all said and done. There's going to be people who actually go to the moon and then folks who go to Mars. And it'll be a small one. But we've gone back and they're very brave and all the hundreds of thousands of people that put it all together, including one of our listeners who works down in NASA. I don't know if I want to say his name. But anyway, you know, we know we have listeners that have been contributed to the space program in some way. I don't know if they worked on this.

I think they did, but just a great accomplishment for the United States and a great accomplishment for all mankind. Humans. Humans. We're doing it. Look at us. Pretty soon we'll be friends with space spiders. Rock spiders. That's right. You know, and then, of course, Donald Trump's got to ruin everything by calling them up there and, you know, staying quiet for a minute. I didn't even know how to work the phone.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. I can't even believe the headlines coming out. I guess we'll know tomorrow what happens tonight. I got to be honest. He's about to decimate, a whole civilization. I hope this is bluster. I really hope this is bluster and or I hope there is someone or multiple people who are going to find their better angels in this situation.

I mean, if he intends to really decimate and in time, it's the Persians. They're like responsible for humanity. Yeah. You can't just decimate them. You can take umbrage with their leadership and how they behave. And I agree that they're dangerous and that we got to put them in checks somehow so that they don't get nuclear weapons. I agree with that. All of that.

But this is out of control. It's really bad. So quickly. And, you know, but luckily we have cool heads at the top. Yeah. Hedge Seth? Yeah. Heng Seth.

Did you hear him fart the other day? Did you see that? Look up. Hegg Seth fart. Funniest thing. you've seen all week. Heg-Seth press conference fart. At the commercial break on Instagram, YouTube.com slash the commercial break. You can watch us live as we stream 1 p.m. most days. And TCBpodcast.com. Free sticker, all the audio, all the video, all the video. Okay, Chrissy,

that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say. Good. Bye.