The Commercial Break - The Cucking Break
Episode Date: October 22, 2025EP851: Bryan & Krissy are ready to ANYTHING for a momanger like Kris Jenner! Even making videos liker her famous daughter did. Plus, Bryan almost get's his d-card pulled. Bradley Cooper needs Tom C...ruise level face work and 2 bears, 1 cave is hitting a rough patch! TCBits: The Jingle Dingle Jangle is holding auditions SUBSCRIBE TO "AFTER THE BREAK" (NOW AVAILABLE ) WHEREVER YOU'RE LISTENING TO AUDIO. Watch EP #803 on YouTube! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath TCBits & TCB Tunes: Written, Voiced and Produced by Bryan Green. Rights Reserved To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That's annoying.
What?
You're a muffler.
You don't hear it?
Oh, I don't even notice it.
I usually drown it out with the radio.
How's this?
Oh, yeah.
Way better.
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WSHIT cares about the Crabapple community. And that's why each year during the holiday season
we partner with Crab Appalians to spread joy and cheer.
For the 35th year in a row, the jingle-jangle-dangle will be hosted by WSH-I-T and the local dingle-dangle choir.
The Dingle-Dangles, an association of volunteer musicians, has been serving up holiday tunes for almost 100 years.
This year, the Jingle-Dingles welcomed the brand-new choir lead, LeVon Del Rainey.
LeVan is a longtime crabapple citizen and one-third of the locally popular 1980s boy.
band Houndstooth Corderoy.
Levan and the other choir members are holding open auditions this Thursday and Friday
in Conference Room A at the Holiday Inn off of Highway 76.
LeVan encourages volunteers to come prepared.
Each audition will be less than three minutes, and due to popular demand, spots are limited.
We got an early sneak peek at some of the tunes that will be sung at this year's jingle,
jangle jangle dangle, here's LeVon in early rehearsals with Silent Night.
Oh, did you say East Atlanta? That's where you're, you have an East Atlanta. Interesting.
I think one of our night nurses are nannies lives.
Silent night. Holy night. Holy night.
come
all is
pride
round
your burden
my
mother and child
holy
infant
yeah
so tender
and vile
I've been saying it for years.
Each season, they get better and better.
And with Levan on board,
I'm sure this will be the best jingle, jangle, dangle yet.
We'll be back after this commercial break.
On this episode of the commercial break,
And Chris is the most remarkable transformation I've ever seen on an older woman ever.
And I say older, I mean, past the age of 50 years old.
Yes.
And that's a good thing.
She's looking great, right?
In my infantile judgment, she's looking good.
Chris, call me.
I need some money.
I know.
Manage us.
Seriously.
Can you manage us to some level of success?
The fuck is going on.
I can do a sex tape.
I'm good with that.
I'm good with it, too.
Jeff would be fine.
Chris, he'll do a sex tape.
Jeff will do a sex.
We'll all do a sex tape together.
The TCB pounded.
The T.C.O.D.T.T.
The cuckold break. That's what it's going to be called.
The cuckold break.
Watch it happen.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
So 30 in the morning!
Oh, yeah, Cass and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show.
Chris and Joy.
Totally. Best to you, Chris Hey. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for joining us. I yesterday, no shit.
Two things almost. Three things almost happened to me.
Almost.
I was almost murdered.
Oh.
I almost got a divorce.
Oh.
And I almost lost my driving privileges.
All of those things happened.
Are they related?
They're all related.
Uh-huh. I thought so.
They're all related.
Do tell.
Oh, man.
Uh-oh.
Another ticket?
Well, I guess.
got out of this one. But I was this close. I know. I'm coming up a corner. There's a high school in front. You know, it's a hill, the whole nine yards. And I don't see the flashing yellow lights. I'm sure that they were on. I didn't see them. Well, you're colorblind. I am colorblind. That's true. If they were flashing on that. I wouldn't know anyway. It just looks white to me. I come coasting down the hill and I'm going, I think it's 37 in a 25 or something like that.
Okay.
And as soon as I turned the corner, I see one guy pulled over further down the road with a motorcycle cop.
And then there's a motorcycle cop and a guy in a car sitting right there.
And he had his lights on before I even passed him.
And he zipped right behind me, the motorcycle cop did.
Are you alone?
I was alone.
And he comes up to me and I realize that my – sometimes I put my wallet in the console of a car if I go to run or doing something.
I don't want to – like, who needs a wallet anymore?
You got iPhone, you know, pay for everything with I pay and all this other stuff.
I don't have my wallet with me.
Oh, no.
I know.
So now I know that I am in trouble.
I'm getting at least two tickets in my mind.
And so the guy comes up.
But they do have that thing now where you can have your license on your phone.
And I have it.
But for some reason, I couldn't find it.
Like, I got it.
I went through the whole process.
I need to do that.
You have to get mailed a code in order to put it on your phone.
I did it all.
But then I switched phones and it didn't transfer over, is my assumption.
So I'm furiously looking through the phone.
And the officer is like,
are you on the car? And I go, yeah, I'm with my wife on the car. And he goes, okay, well,
let me see if I can find you that way. Just stay here, see if you can find it. I said,
okay, he goes, he's back real quick. And he says, you're not on the tag. And I go, okay,
but I think I'm on the car. And he goes, I can only see the tag. And I was like, yeah,
I'm not on the tag. That's my wife. And I go, but I know my driver's license number,
if you want it. And he goes, all right, if you got it, let me know. And so I give him my driver's
license number, I tell him my name and my birthday, and he goes, all right, hold tight right here.
And then he comes back, lickety split.
He wasn't even gone like four minutes, three, four minutes, tops.
And he comes back.
And he goes, warning for the speed, warning for the driver's license.
You need to carry your driver's license or have it on your phone.
And you need to slow down, especially in the school zones.
I thought for sure that he was going to give me a ticket based on the fact that I've had two
tickets in two months.
And seeing me speed a third time, I thought for sure, he's just going to go,
This is the guy we need to give a ticket to.
Well, right.
He needs to slow the fuck down.
But he didn't.
He let me go.
And here's why.
So he says, let me wrap this story.
Oh, because it's related to Astrid's tag?
No.
Okay.
He goes, before he says warning with the ticket warning.
He goes, you still live at da, da, da, da.
And I said, I do.
And he goes, that's that house.
And he describes a little bit of my house.
And I go, yes, sir.
And now I'm like, what the fuck?
Right.
With that surveilling your house.
Now I'm like, oh, God.
are they waiting for backup now they're waiting for like i don't know ice or something you're that idiot on the commercial break
some guys in unmarked cars without badges are on their way to arrest you um he goes well i actually came to your house a while back because there was a lady suffering uh from a mental health issue and he goes you probably he goes you were the one who called right and i said yeah i must have talked to him i don't remember there a bunch of cops out front and i talked to some of them
that night, this was two Christmases ago.
Yes.
A lady pulls out, I hear a horn just like on the horn.
I mean, she's just on the horn.
Here, let me see if we can, if we can recreate the scene there.
So it's late at night.
It's probably, not late at night, but it's probably 8 o'clock.
It's dark.
It's cold.
It's around the holiday time.
And I hear, just like some lady is,
laying on the horn.
And I pull back the shades.
And there's a minivan.
up off this kind of busy street that I live on, rolled up on my grass, not her whole car,
but like half her car on the grass, like she's pulled over. And she's just laying on the horn.
And then I can see her in the window clearly upset, like banging her hands, throwing her hair around,
like this whole nine yards. And all of a sudden I got concerned that, you know, I wasn't going
to go out there. Like, no way. So I called the cops. I said, hey, I don't know if there's
anything. Maybe her car broke down, but I'm a little afraid to go out there and talk to her
because she seems very upset. No, stay there. Cops came. They're out there for probably 30 or 45
minutes talking to the woman and finally they pulled her out of the car. They smashed her
out of the car. He smashed the window? Yeah, they did. They smashed the window. I think
they thought that she was going to hurt herself. But I watched the whole thing go down. No one
was like super rough with her. They smashed the window. They opened, they unlocked the door.
They opened it. And then they guided her out of the car, right? And she, it didn't, they didn't throw
to the ground or anything. I would have called that bullshit out. I taped the whole thing,
by the way. Well, you know, turns out she was having a mental health episode. Her family was
concerned about her. There were issues at home. You know, they managed to reach out to somebody,
whatever. She was suicidal. That's what happened, right? She didn't, she wanted to end it. And I think
that the car wasn't cooperating with her in whatever was going on. So he says, yeah, I was there.
If you called and I said, I did. And he goes, you probably saved that lady's life. And I was like,
oh yeah you know I just called she was upset and he goes all right well you know that was the right
thing to do was to call warning on the tip warning on the on the speed warning on the driver's license
and he let me go so some good deeds do go unpunished they you get you get I don't know why but
had I gotten that third ticket in three months I would have been Astrid would have said I want
a divorce before sticking a knife directly in my throat
And then claiming to the insurance company, she didn't know who I was.
Oh, right, because isn't there something bad that happens if you get a certain number in a certain time?
It's like...
Is it J.S. on jail?
That close. Something like that.
For the original one, the super speeder, he could have taken me to jail.
You can take a super speeder to jail.
That's your choice.
Like, it's the cop's choice.
It can be...
And I think if you're going over 35 miles per hour, if I was going over like 100 miles per hour, it's like mandatory.
They take you to jail.
You got to bond out the whole.
You got to pay the ticket and bond out in the whole nine yards.
But in this case, the officer was very cool, but he gave me a super speeder ticket.
I didn't think he did, but he did give me a super speeder ticket because I got a nice notice in the mail.
That's the Disney one.
That's the Disney one.
That was on the way to Disney.
With the whole fam in the car.
All the kids.
Fly 92 miles per hour down the highway.
I had like 6.45 in the morning.
You're all locked up on caffeine.
Oh, man, was I?
And I'll tell you what, I wasn't the only one.
No, I know.
Everyone else was going just as fast because there were two idiots playing Pokemon go with
each other down the highway for about 60 miles.
They were just going 52 miles per hour right next to each other.
I don't know if they were doing it on purpose.
I don't know if it was just too slow pokes, but they really were aggravating about six of us
in a line trying to maneuver, the guy could see the guy in front of me, two cars in front
of me was flashing his lights.
I could see it against the thing.
Like everyone was trying to make it known.
these two that we would like to get going a little bit faster.
Exactly. You guys do your thing.
Yeah. Then 30 miles below this. It was 70 miles per hour. And these people were going, I'm not
kidding, 62, 63 miles per hour. There's nothing more frustrating than that in the world.
And when it's going on forever, anyway. So as soon as there was a break, as soon as one of them
moved, all six of us just kind of, you know, boom, got around. I was not going the fastest.
I was, I don't, I was one of six that were going. You just got caught.
I just got caught. As soon as that guy moved and we swerved around, I went up and over the hill, and there he was. And I even told the officer, I said, I said, all of us tried to pass this guy. He goes, yeah, but I got you.
Right. That's correct. I got you.
Anywho, anyhow, then another, then a couple of weeks after we got back, I was local, I was coming down another hill, and I was going like 63 and a 40. I mean, I was going super fast again.
And then again, so I'm glad that I didn't get that ticket because, and thank you to whichever police officer that was, but he didn't seem to want to bother with me for whatever reason. Maybe he was looking, maybe he's looking for the high school kids that are coming out of there driving fast. Maybe he had another agenda. Maybe got on another call. I don't know. It was a super quick interaction. The whole thing maybe lasted 10 minutes total. But I was shaking when I was waiting for him. Because I'm like, Astrid is going to fucking kill me. And like Astrid has a trouble dar, you know.
It's kind of like gay d'ar, but it's Troubledar.
Because any time I, you know, anytime I seem to be in any kind of trouble, my phone rings and it's Asterisk.
Hey, what's you doing?
I don't know.
She does have a Troubled Ar.
She does.
I didn't answer it, though, because I just couldn't take it.
I was like, I got to think about what I'm going to say to her.
How did this happen?
Somebody pushed me.
There was somebody else in the car.
I feel like you need to go.
I don't know if this would help, but I feel like, you know how they have those.
Defensive driving courses.
No.
No, well, that's too.
Excuse me.
No, the Porsche, you know, has a headquarters here, and they've got those tracks.
Yeah.
You can go down.
It's expensive.
It's very expensive.
And, like, they have the other track somewhere near here, too, where it's the Ferraris and the things and whatever, and you can really go.
And just get your speed on.
Patrick, we bought that for Patrick for his 30th birthday or 35th birthday, something like that.
we bought that for him and he took a Ferrari around you know you got there's someone in the car with
yes but he zipped that around and I think I think he got to like 135 miles per hour but he said
it's like once you get above 100 on those tracks that are you know like this it's he said it's
it can be a little bit unnerving we tried to get him the Porsche one but it seemed like the Ferrari one
was a better deal because he got to pick the car and you got to kind of open it up the
the Ferrari one there's just a set track and you're just like going over hill
and through puddles and stuff like that.
Okay.
But he enjoyed it immensely.
I did not, however, do it because it was so expensive.
It is. Yeah.
It's like $7,800.
It is.
I thought about, like, getting it for my dad, but yeah.
For a fucking hour.
It's like.
For right.
Yeah.
For an hour.
And you don't even drive the whole hour.
It's like you drive for 20 minutes.
And how, like one, it's like the first couple of laps are somebody else's driving,
like a professional driver's driving and goes really fast.
And then the next part is you drive, but you don't go so fast because you think you're
a badass until you're going a hundred.
until you're going 115 miles per hour.
Right.
And it's very fast.
So maybe you might be right.
I might need to go get my tickles out somewhere else.
But I think this, I have decided, even though I decided this the first ticket and then the
second ticket, I've decided on the third ticket, that this is some kind of sign from the universe to slow down, Brian.
Something bad is going to happen if you don't slow down.
So I've been taking these.
And a matter of fact, I'd like to say that I was a good Samaritan today because I came out of the star.
bucks and a big six-lane state highway down the street from where I'm at. You know, one of those
thoroughfares that goes through a lot of cities with a divider and everything. There was a lady in the
middle of the road blinkers on causing a bunch of traffic because she was just stuck there.
Oh, no. And so rather than drive around her, frustrated like everybody else did, I pulled into the
nearest parking lot. I got out of my car. I walked over and I said, hey, what's going on? And she said,
I don't know, company car.
It was like making this beeping noise out.
Like, maim, ram, ma'am.
And I said, okay, put it in neutral and I'll push you over.
Yeah, oh, that was so nice.
Well, yeah, I mean, you know, you can't push a car by yourself, right?
That would be almost impossible to do.
You could probably lose the car down the hill.
Right.
But luckily, there was a close, like, a parking lot that had a slight down, like, decline.
So if I could push her to that opening, then she could coast down into a spot.
But the other thing was is that, and this is the part that I think I want to share,
it's not necessarily about me being a good Samaritan, but everybody else was driving around this lady.
Then I stopped, and I do this.
And then you don't know how many people rode down their windows.
And we're like, hey, man, can I help you?
You know, you need some help, brother?
Like, everyone else saw a good deed in action, and it caused a chain reaction.
Now, luckily, it was kind of a smaller car.
I was able to push it on my own.
But, you know, do a good deed.
It has more effect.
There is hope.
There is hope.
There is hope.
And Brian, it starts with Brian and his very heavy foot.
Get the let out.
I will.
I'm going to get the let out.
All right.
I want to ask you a question.
This might have to continue into the next segment.
I've been wanting to ask you this since you were at Memphis.
Have you seen, well, maybe I should ask this after.
Okay, let's do this.
Let's take a break.
And then I'll show you a picture.
Okay.
And then I'm going to ask Kevin our video editor to put up that picture.
and I want to ask if you have seen one very famous actor lately and what has happened to his face.
Oh, do you know who I'm talking about?
I think so.
All right, we'll be back.
But I want to see the picture.
Yeah.
We're going to show you the good to bad and the ugly plastic surgery.
We'll be right back.
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.
And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your TV.
ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.
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episode of the commercial break. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered
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Okay, usually I'm not here to make judgment calls about anybody's appearance.
I am the last person who needs to make judgment calls about anybody's appearance.
But I'm watching this trend, talking about this online, and it's really interesting.
We all know Chris Jenner.
Yes.
Okay, the very famous mother, the Mominger of all of the Kardashians.
It is clear to me that whoever is doing their plans.
plastic surgery work is the best in the world.
Well, I just read that she spent like $100,000 on a facelift.
Chrissy, it was worth every dime.
She doesn't look changed.
At all.
Yeah.
Turkey neck gone.
No wrinkles.
No lines.
No hair pulled back.
Yeah.
Whoever did that is the best.
The best in the world.
She looks like a, she looks 20 years younger.
And you can't tell in the highest resolution and the closest to close.
Sups. Chris Jenner has literally made a deal with the devil. She is drinking from the
fountain of youth, as are all of the girls, because they all look remarkably different than they
ever did at the beginning of their careers. Now, at the end of their, now, or in the middle of
their careers, they look amazing. Yeah. But they look different. They're different. But it
doesn't look bad. Right. It's good. It's good plastic surgery. Good genes or good docks.
Probably good docs, right? Look at Kim Kardashian when she made that sex tape with Ray J.
and then take a look at a picture recently.
Oh, totally different.
Completely different.
Same with Kendall, same with Kylie, same with all of them, all of them.
And Chris is the most remarkable transformation I've ever seen on an older woman ever.
And I say older, I mean, past the age of 50 years old.
Yes.
And that's a good thing.
She's looking great, right?
In my infantile judgment, she's looking good.
Chris, call me.
I need some money.
I know.
Manage us.
Seriously.
can you manage us to some level of success the fuck is going on i can do a sex tape i'm good with that i'm good with it too
jeff would be fine chrisie'll do a sex tape we'll all do a sex tape together the tcc be pounded
the c t t t t the c c the c c the c c the c the c c the c the c cold break that's what it's gonna be called
the cuckold break watch it happen if i could just have one tenth of the wealth of the cardashian yeah okay
All right. Now, Tom Cruise, another example.
Another example.
Of someone who has clearly got...
Seems to not be aging.
At all.
I know.
Now, is that because she's drinking alien blood in that Scientology workshop of his?
Could be.
I'm reluctant to even talk about it because this episode won't go out.
Yes.
But something's going on there.
And he looks also pretty amazing.
He does and doesn't look different than what we know him.
Right.
He's one, like, Chris Jenner looks different, but Tom does not look much different.
No, he really doesn't.
And he's in his 70s?
I don't think so, but I think he's...
Like 67 or something like that?
How old is Tom Cruise?
I don't think he's close to 70.
Tom Cruise.
That's the other thing, too, when all these people get this stuff done, you get to...
He's 64.
64.
Yeah.
Okay.
So he's not there yet, but he's 64.
Yeah, I mean...
60 fucking four.
He looks great.
Great. And he's still jumping out of the planes.
Oh, doing all his stunts.
Hanging on to camels as they get parachuted out of helicopters.
And he's doing all kind of crazy shit, that kid.
Unbelievable.
And I have aches and pains when I wake up.
I know.
When I edit the show, I'm like, oh.
I like sat the wrong way in the car the other day.
You're like, oh, yeah.
And down my leg and way, ow.
All right.
Now, okay, all the riches in the world, they can afford it, right?
But so can Bradley Cooper.
Yeah.
And what the fuck happened to Bradley Cooper?
Well, I know.
This was kind of going around the other day on one of my group texts.
I mean, he murdered his face.
Oh, my gosh.
What did happen?
Crazy, I don't know.
He kind of resembles Robin Williams now.
Robin, like a, yeah, it's like, or Skeletor, one of the two.
I mean, he's like the nose and the chin.
He's got to, hmm.
It's me, mark for mark.
He does, like, something happened there.
It's bad.
He got the whole hair thing.
He got the whole face thing.
Yeah.
But this, now, let me remind you, this is Bradley Cooper a decade ago.
Right. I know.
It's different.
He looks completely.
Now, he does have a mustache on that.
Yeah, that's true.
A moustachio.
And that other one.
But, I mean, he looks completely.
different.
I have another one to show you.
God damn, Bradley.
You know, he's dating that, is he dating
Gigi Hadid, I think, still?
Oh, yeah. I think so.
And she's like 32 years old, Gigi Hadid is?
Mm-hmm.
Let me see here.
Gigi Hadid age.
G.G. Hadas.
Why won't you take Hadith?
Okay, age.
30 years old.
Okay, she's 30.
He's 53, 54 years old, I think.
Yeah, he wants to keep up.
He wants to keep up.
He's trying to keep up appearances.
He wants to still be sexy and good looking.
And who knows, maybe behind the scenes, she's poking him and prodding him.
You know, hey, you're one of the leading actors.
You've got to stay on top of it.
But he should have called Tom Cruise or Chris Jenner.
And he should have gotten their face people.
I'm not arguing that he should or shouldn't have done it.
Okay, cool, dude.
Do you want to look younger?
That's cool with me.
That's part of your gig.
Is to look young and dumb and full of calm.
I get all of that stuff.
So go.
Do the surgeries.
Have the Botoxes.
Get the fillers.
Tastefully.
Get the fillers.
All that other stuff.
But someone really did a number.
on Bradley Cooper. And it doesn't look good. I know. It looks bad. It's bad. He would have been
the Harrison Ford of our time. Truly. If he just would have left it alone. I guarantee Harrison's
probably had a nip here and a tuck there at some point. I don't know for sure. But Harrison is
almost 80 years old. So there's a little bit of a difference there because Harrison at 55 look
better than most men did in 25.
Harrison was a handsome, mansome, for sure.
And Bradley would have gone that direction had he just left it alone.
He just could have gotten a little grayer and a little older, a little more wrinkled, and he would have been okay.
There's nothing wrong with that either.
I like some age on a man.
I think I'm just going to leave it alone.
Yeah, you should.
I think I'm just going to leave it alone.
I got to be honest, like I've considered the Botox and all that other stuff.
But now I'm getting really concerned that these girls are getting Botox.
at 18, 19 years old.
Oh, the earlier, yeah.
And now they're starting to do research
and finding out that that Botox is seeping in to brain cells,
like that botulism is seeping in and killing brain cells.
They're doing all this research
because now Botox has been around long enough.
Botox came out in our lifetime, in our lifetime,
as a plastic surgery tool, as an enhancement.
It came out in our lifetime, and it made big waves.
It did everything that the Botox people wanted it to do.
It sold cabillions of dollars worth.
Now there are many rip-offs and, you know, you can get generic and all this other stuff.
But it's botulism is what it is.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong or different, but I get, now I'm concerned about, like, studies that I'm hearing about.
I've not read them myself.
But there are doctors that I follow online, and they're sharing these stories and kind of synopsizing them.
Snopsis. It's synopsisizing a word. I don't know. It should be if it's not.
Synopsies.
Synopsies.
The synopsies of the synopsies.
That's synopsies.
What's that?
I once had synopsies of the penis.
It didn't go away.
The synopsies, these doctors are giving, is, you know, less than encouraging.
Let's put it that way.
And the young kids getting it.
Yeah, it seems like it's younger and younger.
now. I don't, that's sad. I think so. Yeah. Well, what's sad is it's, it is really, it's less
about life choices or it's more about, it's like an indictment of the world that we live in
that these girls at 18, 19 years old are so afraid to get one wrinkle or one frown or one
smile line that they are willing to go to these lengths very early. And that they don't have
people around them telling them that, hey, you get started on this now. You're never going to stop,
and no one knows what happens 35 years down the road when you're going to be the tender age of 55,
still plenty of life to live, and full of fillers and photos. Well, yeah, a lot of those fillers,
I remember seeing that a lot of those housewives got all of that done. Yeah. The ones from OC,
I think, are the ones I'm thinking of. And then they had to have it removed. There was a trend going
around a while back to have all of that removed. Sucked out because it was migrating to different places
in their face.
Yeah, dude. Yeah. I got problem, you know, whatever attractiveness I have, I'm going to let it naturally fade away because at the end of the day, I don't want my face migrating. That's just one concern I don't want to have. I don't want to wake up in the morning and find that, you know, my cheek filler went to my ear or something like that. Like that's just, it doesn't feel good to me. And, you know, the one thing that I also get a little bit.
I don't know.
I get a little bit concerned about with the younger generation is they believe that they are looking older than the generation before them.
See, our generation, I think we've aged pretty well, if I'm being honest.
We...
Unlike the love connection generation.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Those people look 80 and they're like 20 years old.
My favorite thing to do, my favorite reels that people are putting out.
right now are the ones that these television characters, when you realize these television characters
were younger than you. Yeah. And it's like Mr. Drummond. Remember Mr. Drummond? Forty-seven years old.
And it's like, holy shit. Alice, the lady who did the Alice or who's the lady from Give Me a Break or
Nell? Nell. Carter? Not Nell Carter, the white lady. Do you know what I'm talking about? Okay.
She was like 39 years old when she did that show. And I would have thought she was 70 years old when she did
Yeah. All these actors and actresses were young. In some cases, younger than we are. And they were playing characters or seemingly playing characters that were much older than us. I think we've done a good job. We've aged well. We're like the last great generation of aging well. But these kids that are, and I say kids, I mean, you know, people that are the younger generation, the 18 to 25 year olds are really having a hard time with like their own mortality and the way that they look.
Well, what was the, what was it, mewing that was going on a while back?
Oh, yeah, the people that do the kit with the cheekbones, so that it forms a cheekbone.
So that it forms a cheekbone that's higher.
Yeah.
And you get your lips out, your lips puffed out.
It's, yeah.
And don't be this.
I'm going to tell you what's not going to be trendy 10 years from now, five years from now, three years from now.
What's not going to be trendy?
10, 5, 3.
Yeah, or a year from now.
Is the Trump girl look.
And you know what I'm talking about.
The ladies in their 50s and 60s who all seem to have the plastic surgery that makes them look almost exactly the same, the same facial features.
Oh, right, yeah.
I don't need to, I'm not going to like pontificate about it.
You can go and Google it.
It's a well-known trend phenomenon.
They all seem to go to the same plastic surgeon and ask for the same thing.
Huge lips, high cheekbones, big forehead, you know, and volumptuous everywhere, right?
But it all ends up looking like the same thing.
We're all, like, they're transmuting into the same human being and it's fucked up.
I know.
And it's not going to look good five years from now.
I'm telling you that.
If it looks good now, which that's up to your personal judgment call, if it looks good now, or if you think it looks good now, it's like picking the right color of car, right?
You don't want to get the trendiest color of the car.
You see the loner than I'm driving?
Yes, I did.
That gray car, that gray car?
Beautiful, right?
there's that stylish silky gray that's out right now that every fucking car in America seems to have
that silky gray.
Including you, including me, even in my real car is that color, right?
But I was telling Astrid, we have a loner that we never buy because we can't afford it.
But I was telling Astrid, I'm like, I love this car on the inside and I love the way it looks on the outside.
But five years from now, is that the color we're going to want?
Five years from now, you have to buy the right color, white, black, red.
you go. Those are three colors. That's why we're doing the lease. We decided to lease this past
time. Flip it out. Yeah. Flip it. Three years. Smart. Think it. Yes. But you can't flip out your
fucking tits. You know what I'm saying? So be careful. Just be careful that, you know,
you don't do anything that's irreversible. Permanent. Yes. I'm not here. That's like the
permanent makeup. I mean, I. Unbelievable. I get it. Like if you just really want that. But that's
forever. That's it. Your eyebrows will be like.
like that forever you can't unfuck that shit yeah yeah when you get an eyebrow the girth of my penis
eyebrowed on your on your forehead you can't unfuck that that's not something you can undo and i've seen
those videos too of the people to like do the reveals from the what do they call that the what do they
when they tattoo that yeah i don't know okay i don't know if tattoo a brow yeah i call it per you know tattoo makeup
You don't need a license.
You need like one day of class to do that kind of eyebrow.
Oh, God.
And I know there's plenty of people who probably are a master at their craft.
Yeah.
But there's lots of people, just like the dental implant thing.
There's lots of people who should never be doing eyebrows.
And I've seen the videos of the reveals that have gone terribly wrong, like where people have, you know, three and a half inch thing.
Well, that's with anything, really.
I mean, God, the horror stories of the BBLs.
Brazilian buttlifts. Oh, man. You can die. Of course you can. Yeah. When you are putting foreign substances
in your body. Yep. And this is very trendy in Miami. I'm not going to get into it, but I know that this is very
trendy in Miami to go to your mom's best friend who learned how to do this and she's been doing it.
And I think this might be cultural, right? I know these people. It's safe. They've been doing it for a long time.
They did it my friend and his friend. And it's $10,000 to get the real Brazilian buttlift or get injections or
whatever it is. But it's $3,000 if you go to a friend of a friend. And they're getting the same
stuff and they're getting it from China or whatever. That's scary. There are so many nightmare stories
about people who get sick, hospitalized, or die because these people are not doctors going
through the professional licensed channels to get the stuff that they need. These health spas,
I could do a whole episode of after the break about these. These health spas. They're not licensed. And most of them
in most states don't need a doctor involved in any of the procedures as long as they are staying
within some guidelines. It's the whole, you need a license to go fishing. You need a license to drive a car.
Brian should have his taken away from him, but that's besides the point. You need a license to do a lot of
stuff. Not have a gun. Yeah, not have a gun. That's right.
Which is crazy. It's just crazy. Right.
Anyways. But you don't need, in some states, a license to put botulism,
right next to your eyeball.
That's it.
You don't need it.
And so then people, you know, and then everyone thinks it's going to be hunky-dory because that only happens, that doesn't happen to me until it happens to them.
Right.
And so I'm just sharing.
Take a look at Bradley Cooper.
Let this be a warning.
You know another one I was going to bring it up and I can't find the pictures.
But, okay, so I was, there's a show on Hulu.
Yeah.
About Lilith Fair.
Remember Lilith?
Oh, yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Looking back on that, that was so cool that they did that.
It really was.
And this documentary is great.
It's got Sarah McLaughlin who started it.
Okay.
She's the main person in it.
Of course, they've got Cheryl Crow and many of the other ones.
Melissa Etheridge.
Yeah, many of other people in it.
They're showing footage.
It's a great documentary.
I highly recommend it.
However, I did see, and I think she's beautiful.
She looks great, but Cheryl Crow looks different.
Oh, Cheryl Crow is another one.
She does, and I love her.
I love her, nothing wrong with it and whatever she wanted to do.
But I was watching the documentary, and I'm like, is that her?
It doesn't, there's something that's happened, like, in the, some kind of facial difference.
And she looks great, though.
Nothing wrong with the way she looks, she looks beautiful as always, but just different than she used to.
No, she's always been a beautiful girl.
I love her music.
I love her.
Yeah.
Is that her?
Is that what you're talking about?
She just looks different.
Yeah, it's just a difference.
But, I mean, listen, and I can understand when you are.
famous in the public spotlight, and you're a woman.
I'm not, so I don't know.
But I already feel the pressure to look good for this stupid fucking camera where there's
less than 100 people that I ever going to view this particular video, right?
Yeah, six.
I mean, maybe a couple thousand if I talk about Venezuela, right?
I mean, that's it.
But the realities.
Sure, we all want to look our best, and it's hard to age.
It is, you know.
It's scary.
It is. You don't want it.
I know.
And you think of the people that when you were younger that looked old and then am I going to look like that?
What's that?
You know, but I think there's got to be a balance.
There has to.
I agree with you there.
And the one thing that, like, again, I don't care.
There's no judgment here.
There's not even judgment on Bradley Cooper.
I wish he would have gone to a different doctor.
But I have any judgment about the guy wanting to look younger.
He's dating Gigi Hadid.
He's one of the most famous actors ever.
Everyone's going to expect him to look his best.
best in every role that he does. There's probably an immense amount of pressure, especially when you're
named, like, you know, the most handsome man in the world 70 times in a row and all that other stuff,
you know, and you don't win it for three years in a row because you realize your own mortality.
It must be in a weird life to live in when you look in the mirror and say, you know,
how do I keep this up?
I think you have to be ready to give that up. I think you have to be ready to say,
bye-bye, that was me then. Yes. And that's hard, I think, for a lot of people.
Yes.
let's look at example A, Corey Feldman.
He looks terrible, but he always has.
And so the guy just looks that way.
Listen, Corey Feldman, I think that's all natural.
Go to the Cory Feldman room.
Just leave it alone.
Go to the Corey.
Do a Corey.
Hey, Doc.
Can you give me the Corey?
Can you give me the Corey?
Just tape my face back for a couple hours and I'll hope that the wrinkles go away.
That's what I can afford.
That I heard about something called threading too
And I'm not saying the threading of your eyebrows
Like taking the hair off
But there's some kind of threading you can get in your face
This is what Frankie B was talking about
The barbed wire that pulls the skin back
And you leave the threads in there
And it pulls the skin back
So Frankie B was hot topic
Hot topic dude
On the top of the curve
Before Chris Jenner there was Frankie B
pulling his face back
he looks terrible too
I mean he's looking different also
He checked in with him
Yeah I did
There's a new shorter video
Which I hope means a longer one's coming
But you know
You never know with FrankieBoo
I'm happy for him
And that means he's still with his girlfriend
Yeah that means that there's a romantic relationship
That's occupying his time
It seems like when he's
When there's no girl
He's romantically involved with YouTube
When there's a girl
He really focuses on her
I can appreciate that
It makes me think about
just how lucky we have it with Frankie, and that Frankie might actually be the coolest pickup artist
that has ever lived. Oh, he definitely is. He might be. That's for sure. All right, I want to talk
about another podcast, which I don't often do, but I want to talk about another podcast. Let's take a
break, and we'll talk about two bears, one cave. Is it the end? Are we done with it? We'll see. We'll be back.
Let me do something Brian has never done.
Be brief.
Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break.
Text or call us.
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See, Brian?
That really wasn't that difficult, now was it?
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It is literally insane. What are we going to do?
Did we just pull up?
Who's the guy that does that where he's talking when he comes back on?
Howard Stern.
No, no.
Oh.
No, the other guy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to say his name.
Yeah, our friend, our good friend on Instagram.
Yeah, but we're actually talking to somebody, each other.
Yeah, he's talking to nobody.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, man, his Instagram has been good lately.
It's been good.
But it's really my, the catfish girl.
It's really the best Instagram account.
And I'm not, I'm never going to give her name away.
I'm not here to personally shame anybody.
But I will say this girl has got to be one of the crazier human beings I've ever seen on Instagram.
And the things that she says into the camera and then just leaves up there, it's crazy.
It's racist and bigoted.
And she hates people who have way to.
on them and she hates skinny people and she hates people that think and she hates people
that don't think and then she talks about how you know and then she i don't know she reads from a
dr wayne dire book and talks about how mindful she is it's just so transparently weird and i it's like
performance art it's so good i love it i love when there's a new post i'm like oh what crazy thing
is she going to say now um there's a lot of people on this earth most of them aren't well and
most of them are not well it's confirmed okay uh uh
Burke Kreiser, Tom Segura.
I don't usually talk about other comedy podcasts because I don't have anything against any other comedy podcast.
And I don't have anything against two bears in one cave.
I want to make that absolutely clear.
I don't know them personally.
I've never interacted with either of them.
I've only admired their success.
That's it.
They've done a great job.
They have millions and millions and millions of people that are listening to them and watching them.
Tom is selling out huge.
Didn't we interview him?
Tom, Segura?
Yeah.
No.
Oh.
Uh-uh.
I thought we did.
No, I think that there was some conversation about Bert coming on the show, actually, but I don't think that, obviously, that hasn't happened yet.
And he's welcome, I mean, Tom and Bert, welcome to come on the show, if that, if you so choose.
But they don't need to because they have, you know, they're making really good money doing their stand-up and their movies.
And I know that Bert was, Bert was here in Atlanta doing some filming for a television show.
And I think there was some conversation about us talking to him.
You know, he was filming the TV show, so it just didn't work out.
But whatever, that's neither here nor there.
Okay.
What happened was is that two bears and one cave, been around for a very long time.
And really, Tom and Bert just kind of got together and did that podcast.
They had known each other.
I don't know if they were, like, super great friends beforehand.
The word on the street is they just kind of got together and decided to do this show.
Based on the popularity of Tom's show with his wife called Your Mom's House, right?
And that show also,
was fabulously successful. So Tom's got two really successful podcasts, one with his wife, one with
Bird. I had no idea about all of the drama happening in the audience of two bears and one cave.
I don't either. That people are really upset at this podcast. They're getting like fiery upset
at the podcast and the fact that, you know, listen, okay, here's what, here's the, here's like the
bottom line of it. Tom went from self-effacing every man standing up and doing, you know,
30-minute sets and shitty clubs all across America, you know, touring all the time kind of
comics, the same people that we talk to, to fabulously wealthy comics selling out arenas,
like Nate Bargazzi stuff, right? One of the top comics in the business. And people are angry
because of the way that he now talks.
Like, he has turned in from self-effacing into this,
according to them,
into a braggadocious, egotistical,
you know, talking down to people who don't have money,
telling them that it's their fault that they're poor.
And I've heard some of the clips.
Like, that's what he says.
And I don't know if he's going for the joke or what he's doing.
Yeah, that seems strange.
He could make it into a self-effacing joke,
but he doesn't.
Okay.
So, Bert has one persona and one persona only,
and that is get drunk, have fun, good time, guy, right?
He's got a very specific kind of laugh.
It's very loud, and oftentimes it can go on for minutes at a time,
and it can be distracting.
I've listened to the show, can't be distracting.
But that's his persona.
He's always been like that, right?
He's the guy who does all of his stand-up sets with his shirt off.
And he also sells out big, like, baseball stadiums,
like, you know, minor league baseball stadiums.
Like, the guy is no slouch in the stand-up comedian world either.
He has made a name for himself.
He's got TV shows.
specials and all that other good stuff. So both of these guys have seen huge success since the
podcast started. And the audience is growing angrier and angrier with them because they are
apparently, they are seemingly out of touch with what got them popular in the first place.
Which happens. Which does happen. And we have seen this with other podcasts also.
I know, well, there are, there is a podcast with a couple of girls that do podcasts that also are now
getting the same rap too and have fallen out of favor with the audience. So I knew none of this
until some guy online did like this whole expose about Two Bears One Cave. And that video got like
680,000 views and likes and likes and comments and all this other stuff. So apparently, you know,
he hit on something. And the title of the video was, is this the end of Two Bearers One Cave?
So I
Yeah
He
The guy in the video
I like speaking that word
I know exosé
It's really just a guy
A guy with a computer
Cutting clips of two bears
One game
And showing shitty comments from listeners
Exposet
Those sounds very
sexy for some reason
The word
It's like expose exposure
With an A
Expose
Expose A
Expose A
It's like a Canadian
Expose
Expose
Yeah
Diamond Bird, expose, eh?
Expoise, eh?
So he claims in the video that they went, that they had to take some time away from each other, like, you know, reset the reframe it, the podcast and all this.
So they took a six week time off.
And they invited two other comedians, Stavi and this other guy, this other very, who was it, Nick Stefano, I think, to.
Stefone?
Stefone?
Stefano.
Who filled in on two?
Okay.
So.
So they had to...
Okay.
So they take this plan six weeks.
But the guy in the video, I think, incorrectly said they needed to reframe and reset the table and take some time apart.
I actually think that I know why this was, and that's because I think Bert was going to film his show.
I think that.
is why they actually took the time off.
The reality, so I say this because not to like knock Bert and Tom,
you can go in the comments section,
and there are plenty of unhappy people about the show.
These two other comedians fill in,
and people go crazy.
They love it.
They love it.
They loved it, right?
And these two comedians really went at Bert and Tom.
Stavian, they really went at that.
Oh, at their own show?
On their own show.
Wow.
But, you know, I guess you mess with the bear, you get the horn.
I mean, you get mess with the bull.
You get the horns mess with the bear.
That's about it.
The bear.
Special hosts.
Hold on one second.
I want to make sure I get the, the, yeah, I said it right.
Stavros and Chris.
Stavros and Chris, they go at, you know, they kind of poke at Tom.
They poke the bear.
They poke the bear.
And the cave.
And the cave.
And the cave.
And the fans go crazy.
And they love it.
And they want more of it.
And they're hoping that they're going to stay.
This is really, I share this because I think this is really shows the power of the audience.
Oh, yeah.
And that when you're making a living doing something like this, when you're doing a podcast,
you're never going to be able to make everybody happy.
No.
And there's always going to be people who tune in and.
too now. There's always going to be churn in the audience. There's always going to be folks who
stay for a minute, get unhappy with something you say, leave and go to the next podcast. And then
there's going to be your diehard fans to stick with you, ride or die. But I'm sensing a little bit
of a, like, kind of a through line with some other podcasts that I've seen this happen to. And it seems
to happen when people get rich and famous and start talking about all their riches and their
fame. So I want to make a promise here to the audience.
Chrissy and I are neither rich nor famous, and it's unlikely we're ever going to be.
So we promise to you to keep begging for your attention so that we can pay the power bill.
That's it. That's all we want, just to pay the power bill. That's all we want. We don't care
about anything else. As long as the lights go on and the internet works for our guests, that's all we care about.
That's all we need. Yeah. If there ever comes a.
day when chrissey and i start talking too much shit about all of our riches and our fame
know that you're in an alternate universe first of all that something's gone wrong you may
have died of god heaven i don't know but second of all let us know like text us and just be like
hey dude you know yeah you're talking about driving that 2018 Honda civic like your 12 kids in the
back he's got a little too big for your britches buddy too bougie for your britches my
brother. This seems to be the rub. The rub is when, you know, they start flaunting it, right?
When they start rubbing it in the listeners' faces, or that's how the listeners feel.
And I think you do have to be careful. You absolutely do. And especially, too, with the world that we
live in and the level of inequality and wealth is bad. It's real bad.
It's super disgusting. Yeah. It's really bad. You know, when there's like 180
guys, and I say guys, maybe to one or two women, they're in there, guys who, like, control
90% of the wealth in the country. There is a huge gap, and most of us are living well below it.
Well, below it. Oh, yeah. And then with AI and with drones, we were just looking at something
with drones. Drones? Yeah, I mean, it's taken away jobs. It really is. Branding, it's just what's
happening. Brands are now paying AI influencers to do their stuff on social media.
rather than pay real human beings.
So we don't think it's coming for us, but it probably is, right?
I mean, the truth is, AI can probably, has already sucked up all of the commercial break.
They could probably make a better episode of the show than we could.
Now, I'm not going to allow it to do that, not quite yet.
When I'm in the villages, then I'll let AI take over.
We're down there.
Yeah.
I'll be driving my, in Margaritaville.
2016 Honda Civic.
Well, I'm living in the broom closet at the villages, promising to pay rent next month.
The check from the mail. Check. What's that? What's that?
But it's a cautionary tale, I think, and the way that this guy put it together on the video made it seem, at least this was the, listen, this is also very, you know, narrative focused. It's not like some, you know, huge unbalanced expose, eh, that this guy did. He really had a, he had a narrative and he went for it and he made it appear that that's what's going on with the audience. Then you can go and you can read the comments and the reviews and you can see that that's how people are feeling.
And, you know, again, I have nothing against Tom or Bert.
I think they're probably lovely guys.
But you got to be careful when you, when all of your audience is the every man and the every woman.
And then you start talking like you're anything but the every woman.
Yeah, they can't relate.
It's not relatable.
They can't relate.
So again, I just want to make another promise to our audience that will always be able to relate because it's likely we'll also always be poor.
So don't worry about it.
It's okay. A thousand episodes in. Nothing's going to change. You know what I'm thinking about right now who's, to me, has continued to stay, even though she's fabulously wealthy, but, you know, somebody like Oprah, and she does her, like, favorite things, which kind of helps you be, like, you can have what Oprah has. You know she's very, very, very wealthy.
Oh, she got billions of dollars. Yeah. Yeah. But she's never really, like, seemed to be completely out of touch.
Yeah. I always felt like Bill Burr was the kind of God.
that I felt like was in touch, like a George Carlin type,
like even though he probably doesn't need to work another day in his life,
he's still out there hustling and doing it.
But then Bill Berwyn did the Riyadh comedy festival.
I mean, people are getting a major backlash from that, and I agree.
Bill, I can forgive, but that's a hard one to forget.
That's really shitty, dude.
After you railed against them for years and then you sucked up the blood money, dude.
Blue agrees.
Yeah, Blue agrees.
That's right.
Blue's an asshole.
I guess blues feeling better
Yeah
Yeah but you're not feeling better
What is going on in that chair
Are you allergic to that chair?
I swear I don't do this
As soon as I step out of here
You must be allergic to the chair
I'm going to get the air filter in here
Yeah yeah get the air filter
I vacuum I vacuum once a week
But it could be the rug
You know doing all this stuff
Yeah anyway
Anyway best to you Tom and Bird
I hope you guys survived this
I know you will
I'm not worried about it
Yeah
Yeah
That's the other thing too
Is that maybe there's just a portion
Of the audience that's just fussy
You know in two
In no stage of wealth
Do you want somebody
Feeling like they're better than you
I don't care if I
Have no penny
No pen I have one penny
You've got two
And you're acting better than me
That's not cool
Exactly
No
Just don't do that
Go back to the self-effacing humor
That brought you there
I don't think this is a Byrd problem more as it is a Tom problem,
but they were like on Rogan talking about buying themselves Rolexes,
and you could see how it might fall the wrong way.
Like, you know, here's Rogan, half a billionaire.
Yeah.
With Bert, clearly a millionaire, and Tom, probably getting close to Rogan-type money,
you know, all talking about their fancy watches and their nice houses.
Yeah, with the food shortages and things that are happening right now all across
not only our country, but the world.
And it is. It's happening right here.
The single biggest cost at the commercial break, health insurance is about to triple,
triple.
If they don't figure something out, triple.
That's crazy.
There might not be lights on in here.
We might be doing this in the dark.
That's no joke.
We got to have health insurance.
We have too many children.
Anyway, all right, 212-433-3-3-T-CB.
2-12-4-33-38-2.
Get involved in the conversation.
would love to hear from you at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok.
And you can watch every single episode on video the same day it airs here on the audio
by going to YouTube.com slash the commercial break.
Also, if you'd like your free TCB sticker, we'll give one to you, TCBpodcast.com.
Just go there, hit the contact us button, give us your address, and we'll send you one.
Also, do yourself a favor.
Go listen to the two-hour-long nacho Redondo interview.
It's really good.
It is a good one.
All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.
I think so.
I'll tell you that I love you.
And I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you.
And best to you out there on the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.
I get ass.
