The Commercial Break - The Dogs & Rabbits Have Formed A Union!

Episode Date: May 21, 2021

Bryan and Hoadley discuss the fate of The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse. They fill the audience in on their expansion plans with TCBTV-(Minus) and confuse even themselves in the process! Plus, the gang needs to find a pet psychic to communicate with Niko. And...they found one! Tune in to hear the hijinks in action.  LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor Apostrophe: Dinner Table Dermatology. $15 off your online appointment.  Use The Code COMMERCIAL Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel Join The Comedy Podcasts Club on ClubHouse New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 [phone] FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The WSHIT regrets interrupting your local programming to bring you this health and safety emergency alert. Hi, this is Corey from Corey's used motor oil and corn dog food truck. It is come to our attention that some people may or may not have experienced extreme intestinal distress after eating corn dogs that may or may not have been provided by corries used motor oil and corn dog food truck. Due to recent events at the local health department that may or may not have to do with the food truck, I am legally obligated to buy this airtime on WSHIT and allow some patrons to discuss what they may or may not have experienced due to eating my corn dogs.

I do this under extreme duress, however, first up, Millie, our third grade behavior counselor from Grab Apple Elementary. A little over a year ago, I had the worst stomach ache of my life. I figured it was just the corn dogs I had for lunch. But when I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, a hand came out of my vagina. I said, Corey, a hand just came out of my vagina. I said, Corey, a hand just came out of my vagina. I must remind you this may or may not be a true story. Now, we'll be right back after what may or may not be the commercial break.

On this episode of the commercial break. I got my son in the back of my car. He's waiting for me to get up my shift. You ever have a kid that just sits in the car all day waiting for you to get off your shift? No, I don't, but I'm really sorry that that happened to you. Oh, no problem, you know, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I got a divorce about six months ago. My car has a flat tire.

I said, my house on fire. I've got a bad crack addiction. Gah! Would you like an appetizer? What can I get you started? I will start it. The starters. Yeah, what can I get you started with?

Uh, I don't know restaurant. I'm your waiter. Ah! Ha! Mm. Help me! The dog's talking to me 24 hours a day. It's trying to be crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Unless we get primal vids RIP RIP

I'll smile for the camera and do your little dance, but if you don't give me prime vids it's over We're forming a union River Me and the McCall formed a union. The McCall. She's got a schlock non-stop until we get time bits. R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- The next episode of the commercial break starts now Oh Well, there's another fantastic episode of TCP TV minus and commercial break podcast best to you Best to you Brian. This is holy and happy new year and best everybody out there in the audience Hello, G TCB offices.

How can I help you? Oh wait, hold on. I gotta get my phone ready. Hello, TCB corporate offices. How can I direct your phone call? Yes, I have an amazing offer for you. For one day only, the National Office of International Fidlers also known as NICE. Today only we're offering one billion dollars.

No payment, no payback needed. Oh This this is amazing. Yes, we are offering this for everybody during this time of national tragedy Which national tragedy is that you pick one whichever it is But I just need a little bit of information in order to process your application. Can you please give me a little bit of information? Well sounds perfectly legit. I guess my dear friend. Please tell me what information do you need? I need nothing. I just need your name, email address, date of birth, color of your car, wedding ring size, access to your online banking, your Hulu account, your Wi-Fi password, your wedding registry, safety deposit box key, your medical history, and your jacket measurements

for a suit. Would you like cash or check? That sounds reasonable. Sounds reasonable. I'll get all that information right over to you, my dear friend. Only if the FedEx men with money are on their way. The FedEx men are on their way. In a big plane that's gonna land right in front of seven straight from the World Bank. That's about to say my address. Don't need to give that information out.

For future email scammers, go back and listen to the episode where I talk through how, you know, most people run away from scammers. Not Brian, he plays their game. He I enjoy. Next time I'm gonna get to, I actually called back that phone number that had called me specifically

to see if I could get someone on the line, but it was disconnected. So I went back to the original email message. Yeah, and I texted and I did get a response, but they didn't play along this time. I think they realized that they were... You've been flagged. I didn't say I, I'm not the fuck you want to fool with.

I do not suffer fools easily. Nor am I going to be email scammed. I have one going on from Clear Channel, back in the Clear Channel days. And it's been going on for years. And this guy, probably once every three or four months, he'll email me trying to again get my credit card information. I'm gonna take a look.

Oh, no, this is a file. Let's see what Brian's up to today. And in this, I mean, this is this email chain. So like hundreds and hundreds of pages long and it's way too long. But I just now it's just fun. Like I feel like we're friends now. Right? He tries to fuck me over. I tell him to go touch my scrundle foot. I'm always asking him out on the date too. And I find you so attractive. Are you sure you're not ready to come over here? I told him I could get him a

green card and everything. And he says, I don't need a green card. I'm in your country. And I'm like, oh, where are you located? Houston's the restaurant? That's a great restaurant. Yeah, that's a great restaurant. Houston's, if you don't have a Houston's in your town, well, you're just shit out of luck.

But Houston's, Houston's is a consistent, it's one of those restaurants that while it's a chain is upscale, it's consistently good. It really is. The waiters and waitresses there are like military men and women. They don't sit there and talk to you all day long like we've had experiences before in the past or someone wants to be your friend for $5. You know what I'm saying?

Hey, how y'all doing today? Yeah, good. Yeah, I'm good. I just, you know, I got my son in the back of my car. He's waiting for me to get up my shift You ever have a kid that just sits in the car all day waiting for you to get up your ship? No, I don't but I'm really sorry that that happened to you Oh, no problem. You know, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I got a divorce about six months ago My car has a flat tire set my house on fire. I've got a bad crack addiction

Would you like an appetizer? Can I get you started with a starter? Yeah? What can I get you started with? I will start it at the starters. Yeah, what can I get you started with? Uh, I don't know restaurant. A new waiter. Just, I don't know. Let me give you our specials for today. No, no, no, no, no.

When anybody says let me give you the specials for today, I'm like, no, that's all the shit that Chef wants to get rid of for the week, you know? I can get rid of that, yeah. I worked in restaurants for too long. I'm so jaded. But at Houston's, they don't even tell you the specials unless you want to.

Would you like to hear the specials today? No, I would not. Okay, thank you. I know exactly what I want. And it's usually like one thing, two things maybe. It's not a list of laundry lists. Yeah, you know, and they seem like they just came off the boat. They're like, we have fresh salmon that our chef caught

and is back here. And then they just have like a, it's just like a workman style restaurant, right? And I don't mean workman like blue collar, but though it can be, I mean that like they have a million chefs and chefesses. I don't know what do you call a female chef, a chef. So you know, a million of them working back there and they're all just like, you know, working away so hard and then the quality control there is big time. Reminds me of like Disney World, how they just have a system and process for every single thing and they're not missing a beat. It's always clean. The waiters and waiters says are always on point. You never get a bad meal. The managers are always there, you know, ready.

But the problem is that this because of that, they're so popular, you always have to wait and fucking line. They don't take my reservation. They don't even take a reservation for Brian Green from TCB TV minus. You've got it. We got to get cards. That's right. I want to apologize in advance for my, for the vacuum in the background. It's still going on. It's still going on. Listen, I love, I'm going to get into it. Anyway, there's a vacuum going on in the background. Don't mind. We're cleaning the TCB TV corporate offices. That's the porn studio. That's right.

Biting up the thing. You know, we gotta do it. It's a cleaning processor. Like Disney World, we're always keeping things clean around the TCB TV minus porn studios. That's a lot. That's a big, those are a lot of words to say at one time. You did a good job.

Thank you very much. And while we're at it, TCB TV, I'm supposed to say TCbtvpodcast.com. Tcvpodcast.com is where you go. You can watch all the episodes on video. You can listen to all the episodes from any audio platform that you want to. That's where you go.

That's like the main hub. Or you can get it on your favorite podcast publisher, which I don't need to remind you because you're already listening to it. So hey, there you go. 470-5848-449 is where you can leave us a text message or a voicemail. We're not actually going to answer the phone. It's just one of those systems. But we'd like to hear from you one way or the other. One of the ideas that Chrissy and I have is to add an extra 45, 30, 45 minutes of content on a weekly basis on Twitch or

IGTV, Facebook Live, all those platforms where we just do a visual show, breaking down a lot of the videos like we do here on audio, but we want to do that live. So if you have an opinion on that, if you would like to see that, please let us know. And in the next month or so, I think Chrissy and I are going to develop an actual TCB-TV- minus. Jesus, that's a lot of words. We got to make that better. How do we do that easier? How do we just call it TV minus? Just TV minus. Jesus, that's a lot of words. We got to make that better. How do we do that easier? How do we just call it TV minus? Just TV minus. No one's putting a minus behind their TV. Discovery

plus, Disney plus, Hulu plus. Oh, there was a murder. Oh, yeah. Discovery is going to... That's huge. You know what my thoughts were. Okay, so now it's the same, you know, AT&T is now splitting off its media division. It's going to have the HBO scene and all the time Warner stuff. But then they've merged with Discovery. So that's Discovery, HTTB Food Network. And when I look at all the things that are offering, I'm like, isn't that just cable that I had a few years ago? Exactly. I don't see the difference. I thought I was getting away from that bundle, but now you're going to be paying more. Now you're going to be paying more. Just going back into being bundled.

See, I actually think that the cable companies provide a service that I want, and that I don't see in the future that I want to get rid of. I like live news. That's something that I enjoy. Now I know I can get that on many different services, but I like live news.

I like the ability to watch the television shows live. That's what I want to. I like the DVR function too. But I like that it comes in a wire in one place in a repository. The problem that they have not yet solved on this kind of, you know, like OlaCart services is how do you get all of those OlaCart services in one place? Now I know everyone's going to say to me, you know, they're going to get fucking bunch of emails from, you know, all our wonderful TCB fans and they're going to go, you know, they're gonna get fucking bunch of emails from, you know, all our wonderful TCB fans. And they're gonna go, you could do that through Amazon,

and who the hell am I? That's an Apple TV. I know that, but it's still an extra complicated piece of machinery that then I have to put, and then I still have to log in to every one of those things separately. It's a big pain in the ass.

I just wanna pay my bill and get my TV. I don't wanna log in every time. And you still have to get internet through the cable camera. That's right, you just say, you can't cut the wire. You can't cut the cord really. At this point, I just go back to regular cable bundle. I don't see how we've landed anywhere better.

Now I get the premise, like I like HBO Max. I like that service. But you can also get that in your regular cable bundle. You can get it. Let me just add it on. Well, it is. It's part of your yeah, that's true package I wish it what AT&T which I have owns HBO Max

But I still don't get HBO Max features inside of my ATTV Uverse and I pay for every fucking thing you should get that I know What's going on? I need to look at your TV Brian I Am not the technical wizard around here took me six months to set up this studio in this manner. And now I'm afraid to touch anything. Well, I had a friend that was doing the same thing. She was like, I'm subscribed to HBO Max, but why can't I get it still with the cable?

And I said, you can. Oh, there is, yes. Well, look at that. Turns out, turns out, Chrissy is the real tech person around here. Here, I thought I was running around adding thousands of wires to our studio for no good reason. Look, some of the wires hang down. They don't even do anything. I literally added them and they don't do anything. But I'm still afraid to touch them. I'm like, well, it looks like it's disconnected. But what happens if I move it?

And when I, I know, look at that. This is why you're hanging down on the back of the TV. Oh, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. I'm so stupid when it comes to it. I mean, listen, I get enough to be dangerous, but it takes me a while to really get it in place. And now we have a tech guy that I can call him 24 hours a day. So why fucking hates me, I'm sure of it. So as I was saying, 4705848449, let us know if you'd like to see a standalone version

on Twitch, ITV, IGTV,TV or Facebook live whatever you get Oh my god, you're adding those in now. Well, it's like, I think I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we

I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we

I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we I think we Al Jazeera. Soon to be picking up TV, TZB, we're going to actually merge with Al Jazeera. Which by the way has a good news broad guys. They do. Sorry guys, but that's the truth. It's like they actually, I don't know, it feels independent to me and that's why I don't watch it all the time, but everyone's in a blue moon. I see it. 470-58484-49 at the commercial break on Instagram. You can catch us on Clubhouse also though.

We may have decided that Clubhouse, it's a little bit much. It's a little bit much to be growing an audience on the podcast, on YouTube, on, you know, IGTV. It is just on Patreon, never mind. It is just on campus. Never mind. It's always on Fireside. We don't even want to get into that. Stay the course.

We should give a course on leadership, like, you know, the great CEOs of the world. Bob Eiger, Mark Cuban, Steve Jobs, Brian and Holi. These games are synonymous with media moguls. Oh, yeah. Brian and Holi, these games are synonymous with media moguls. What is your strategy to success, Brian? Try everything for 35 seconds if it doesn't work, go somewhere else. And plug it up into wires. Confuse the audience!

Plug in wires! Broadcast twice a week. Go back to the original plan. Go back to IGTV. Go back to the original plan. Exactly. I just tune in each week to keep up with the the world first. And in each week to be more confused than the last.

I just really I really realized how stupid the sounds to the people who are listening. They're like, wait, wasn't he just doing some club? I was. It's a clubhouse is still there. You're still there. I'm still there. We're still doing it. Everything. They still have the commercial break. You just had Suzy S. Men. I just had Suzy S. Men. Brian Regan's going to be here this Sunday, who's a noted stand-up comment. World renowned comic, actually, back in the 90s and the early 2000s, he was everywhere. He had specials on HBO everywhere.

Brian Regan, and then we have Henry Winkler. Oh, Henry Winkler is this Sunday, excuse me, the fans, the guy from Barry. I mean, he doesn't know the fucking fans. So excited about that one. Then we have Brian Regan, and then more guests to be announced. And I'll tell you the names are huge. So join, you know, if you like, if'd like a link to get inside of that particular club, just DM us,

we'll send you one. We've actually, I've actually sent out quite a few of those links. So just let me know. It's very interesting. Yeah. I'm entertaining. It's interesting and entertaining. So, but what we want to do is focus here on the commercial on what we do best, which is the commercial break. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think that's the best way to put it. But we'd like to do the commercial break, additionally, we'd like to do some additional hours of the commercial break on a visual platform, only. So let us know if you're interested in that

and we'll get to it. And at the commercial break is where you can find us on Instagram. Okay, that's enough. All right, so. What did you just say? Where do I find them? I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. All right, so. What did you just say? The fuck did you just say? Where do I find them? I know. Did you, yeah, I, I, I, I, GTV, mine. Did you hear that Dak Shepherd signed with Spotify? Yeah, Dak Shepherd signed with Spotify. It's big.

It's huge. Spotify is, I mean, so waiting for Spotify to come knock on the commercial break. I know, I think we're next. I'm sure of it. I'm sure it's Dak Shepherd had millions and millions of downloads a week. That's, I mean, so waiting for Spotify to come knock on the commercial breaks though. I know, I think we're next. I'm sure of it. It's tech-separate.

It had millions and millions of downloads a week. That we do not have. I mean, we don't, listen, our audience has nothing to shake a stick out. I'm sure there's lots of podcasters who would love the type of audience that we have. Thank you very much for listening by the way. But DAX has millions of downloads a week. But you know. It's what he was also super famous and has a very famous wife before so they had that jumping off platform. Yeah, I've said this about podcasting is you know, you're gonna have to.

There's only two ways that you that you actually get famous as a pod three ways. Number one is you're already famous and you bring a huge audience in the door. Number two is you fight for the audience. In other words, you market yourself and you get found in order to be heard, which is the category that we fall into. It's not like all of you just showed up to the commercial break because you heard it was great from your friend. We didn't have that. We didn't start off like that. We didn't catch fire like some other podcasts. We had Henry Fonda helping us. We had Henry Fonda.

That's really how I threw it. I think that's more of that. It's more like how you put cameras in your house, watches you naked, watches you and Jeff. Do the duty. Sex attack. But DAX has that huge audience. I wonder how Spotify can continue to eat up all of these pot.

I mean, listen, if they can make it the place to go for listening to podcasts, then I guess it's a win-win for them. They get all of those extra dollars from advertising. They're really trying. And I guess the thing is, is people, you know, I noticed it their day because I was going on to listen to some music. That is my platform of choice for music listening. And so I was on their listening to music. And I noticed they're really pushing the podcast. And I think that's it. You're already on their looking at music. Why wouldn't you listen to your podcast? Make it all in one, too.

Yeah. I like Spotify. I think they're my platform for music. I like, you know, Castbox and overcast. And a couple, I like to go, actually go, I go to many different places to listen to podcasts. I don't go to just one. I like to dance around because I think they all have some

functionality that I appreciate or some look or feel or whatever it is. And some of them are just supporters of our show. So I feel like, you know, the best thing that I can do, like, cast box. Cast box is one of those places that support the commercial box. I've really gotten into cast box recently.

Yeah, they're good. Yeah, they've got a platform. Yeah, and by the way, we're not getting paid to say that. I'm just telling you the time. I feel, but I'm just, I just find it super fascinating that Spotify continues to be on this buying spree of podcasts. And so this is a plea to Spotify. T-C-V-T-V-Mine is ready for exclusive,

exclusive, by the way, that what I meant to say while I was leading into this, is Spotify is also going to be now running exclusive video content from those podcasts. So Joe Rogan's video version will now soon be available on Spotify, so you'll be able to go on the platform, you'll click on the podcast, and it'll come up's video version will now soon be available on Spotify. So you'll be able to go on the platform. You'll click on the podcast and it'll come up the video version.

We'll come up to I love that. Now they're not going to roll that out for every podcaster. So but when they do roll it out to us, you know, small little tiny, you know, the fish food, yeah, the, the, the, the, please, the sheep. When we get, when we get access to that, we will be putting that on Spotify because I think that's a very cool fucking functionality, don't you? Yeah, all in one, you don't have to get YouTube separately. You know, serious XM had claimed that they were going to do this a couple of years back

with Howard Stern. They were going to write on the app, oh, I guess you can watch it on the app. Can you watch Howard Stern on the app? I think you can watch Howard Stern on the app. But they should do that for podcasts, cause I like serious XM app too. I really like that for Howard Stern and such. Hey, I gotta let you know that today's episode

is sponsored in part by apostrophe. What is apostrophe? It's dinner table dermatology, which is so exciting. Okay, let me tell you a little story. You ready? Yes. When I was a kid, I had something called cystic acne, which is the acne that really large zits that you get that are cystic. They almost like cysts on your face.

Yeah, they're really underground. Yeah, really underground, big, large. They get very red and almost purple sometimes. It was at 15 or 16 years old, the end of my world. I do remember how difficult it was and what a pain in the butt it was to go to all of those appointments and try all of those treatments. Apostrophe is putting an end to this. I remember I used to put toothpaste actual tea on my face to try and dry up. You know, interestingly enough is that most over-the-c, acne medication doesn't work, and it can also cause a lot of damage to your skin.

So tears, it's scarring. Here's how apostrophe works. You go online, you set yourself up an account. I did this last night, you did this last night. It's super easy. They may be ask you 20 questions. Acne, wrinkles, dark spots, rosacea, all of those issues can be addressed right there

on that website. You figure out what you wanna get and then you're connected with a board certified dermatologist in actual doctor, where other platforms may not connect you with an actual doctor. This one does giving you the ability to have actual prescription medications sent to you without ever leaving your home.

How is your experience using the website? It's been great. You know, you quickly load a couple of selfies up. It's like one from one side of your face, another from another, so they can actually see what you're working with. And immediately I had it all done within 24 hours. Wow. That's great. My medications on the way. I'm so excited. I've got my medication on the way.

I chose wrinkles because I no longer deal with the acne. I don't have rosacea, but the wrinkles I'm 44. So here it comes. I got to deal with the wrinkles, especially if I were going to be on TCB TV Minus. I'm going to be in an AK. That's right, you never know. Here's what the good people at apostrophe are willing

to give customers who come from the commercial. Break, they're willing to give you $15 off your first visit, which only costs 20 bucks. So they're really almost giving it to you for free. And what you do is you go to apostrophe.com slash commercial. That's apostrophe.com slash commercial. Then you use the code commercial in the promo box, commercial to get your $15 off right there and right then.

Again, it's apostrophe.com slash commercial. That's apostrophe.com slash commercial. It's dinner table dermatology. As they say, it's apostrophe.com slash commercial. That's apostrophe.com slash commercial. It's dinner table dermatology. As they say, it's so wonderful. You never have to leave the dinner table if you, you know, bring your phone with you, but you never have to leave the leave the dinner table and you're going to get those skin problems taken care of online. Perfect. Thanks apostrophe. Yes. Oh, listen, how about this Matt Gates guy? Have you been keeping up with him? Yes. He is a hot water. Yeah, he should be. His buddy is flipping on him in this case where he was

allegedly flying underage women to different locations to have sex for money. Yeah. And then he got busted. Uh-huh. Because on the app, the cash app, if you do not have your settings private, then you can read the receipt history. People don't realize this yet. Lots of my friends do this. I'm actually reading my friends' receipts, and I'm like, I'm like, oh, the fuck you guys up to. They know that, and it drives me crazy. How did they know that? Since I got on, what because anybody who goes to Venmo, you can see everybody. Oh, Venmo, I'm sorry, not cash app, Venmo.

Yeah, okay, yeah, you can see what everybody's paying everybody for. I'm like, why? I've made mine private since the. Yeah, you can see what everybody's paying everybody for. I'm like, why? I've made mine private since the beginning. I didn't know this until like four months in. I have no other reason than just I don't care. I don't want people knowing who I'm paying. What do you think Matt Skates receipts were saying? Oh God, I don't know.

You have to do some kind of crazy little emoji or something. It wasn't like tuition. Yeah, no, it's a cocaine for homecoming. It was a new pain. Booze for Suzie's beer pong tournament. Yes. Dinner at Cheesecake Factory before prom. Wow.

But they'd love Cheesecake Emerge. Yeah, Cheesecake Emerge. What a fucking creep, man. What a creep. That gait just looks creepy to me. Doesn't it? It just looks like greasy and weird. And usually when you see, when something looks like something,

it smells like something, it is something. That's just the way it is. I imagine that gate's just. I mean, it just looks like he's guilty. It smells like K.Y. Jelly and ecstasy. He looks guilty. He does. I think he puts K.Y. in his hair.

Yeah, it's pretty thick and he's weird But I mean hey listen, but I understand Well, this is what I understand I understand that if you're 16 seven I've all those with girl 17 18 years old 716 17 year 18 I can understand that if someone wants to fly you on their fucking private yet From here to there and give you drugs and booze and from here to there and give you drugs and booze and and pay you. Yeah, and pay you. When I was 16 or 70, I would have taken,

I would have taken up Matt Gaetz up on that. I do. I mean, Screndal foot. Screndal foot. Yeah, best to you. Swing. Swing.

Swing. Clapping balls. Best to you, Matt Gaetz. I want to do that to his forehead. He just, he's got the world's biggest forehead. Did you notice that too? He's a weird guy. What about that rep from from Georgia?

The house rep from Georgia who's been saying that the January 6th was not an insurrection, but it was a normal day where some spirited tourists were looking at, were inside of the, you know, the chambers of Congress. That's awful. People died. People died. Just some fun, fun, love me. Maybe his lives were affected. It's awful. People died. People died. Just some fun, lovely dudes. Maybe these lives were affected.

Have been affected. I know. I watched that video on CNN of the officers can't body camera. It was too much. I couldn't take it. It was too intense. Yeah.

It's awful. But I don't know how you can interpret this as just some fun loving guys out there. Like what are they waiting for? There's a question as history. Pre-gaming the Jimmy Buffett concert or something like this? Just a couple of naked shaman, dropping some acid and threatening Armageddon before the next Simpson episodes.

I mean, what is going on with these guys? How do they hire? It's revisionist history. Revisionist history. Those who win history win the battle. That's how it goes. So, don't, let's, we not forget. People died and got hurt.

It was highly entertaining to watch on TV, but scary also. It was so scary. It was so scary. I thought this is it. Oh my God, what is happening? I thought to myself, this is it. This is when it all goes down.

Right, this is going to stop the election and we are never going to recover from this luckily. Luckily, you know, these fucking morons were too stupid to do anything. They were too stupid to do anything. They were too stupid to do anything. Okay. You ready? Yes.

I have been trolling the internet as I often do. And I have decided, you know, I'm not entirely sure whether my dog is alive or dead. He smells dead. Wait a minute. Are we becoming a true crime podcast? To add more confusion to your day about TCB podcast. We have decided to become a true crime podcast. We are now Brian and Houdley, TCB pet detectives.

Yes, big announcement. Big announcement, huge announcement everybody. We are now gonna be a true crime podcast. And one of the first things we wanna figure out is who murdered my murdered dog. Who murdered my dead dog, Nico? The mysterious death of Nico Greene. It's hard, it's harder.

It's mysterious because he's still alive. He's still alive. Someone killed him. But he's still walking around my house, smelling of the place. Looking at, how do you, he like, he stares at the wall for hours. It's so weird. And he'll like, he'll like turn his head like something's happening,

but he's not turning it toward anything. It's just like he'll turn it toward a wall and be like, I know, this dog is, this dog spent most of his life comforting. Maybe he's seen ghosts. Maybe his friends, his little dog buddies. Her. Her. Nico, what is it boy?

I mean, he's like treasoning the photo. It's rufus. It's rufus. He's going away to the far place. To the far place. I just see these little dog silhouettes running through the walls. And Nico is like, oh,

oh, in his mind, he's like, in the middle of the night, we'll start shaking and he'll be like sleeping, right? And I'll be like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah This little kid pulls my eyeballs out all the time. I'm just trying to pull the last of my three teeth. I smell like shit.

I can't even take it in storage. These people won't give me a bath. Look at my body. I need to get out of here. So I decided in order if we're going to do this, if we're going to really kick off, you know, PCV TV, the pet crime mystery podcast, that we need, we need to find the right person for the job. Clearly you and I are not experts.

We're not qualified quite yet almost yeah almost i've been reading up on it for two nights now 30 minutes a night in between you know TLC program uh and i have found what i think could be the expert that we need on this show to bring it all together oh sweet thanks Brian you're welcome and because we're dealing with the paranormal here, we're trying to figure out why my dog is dead yet still alive. We need to pet someone who can talk to our dogs, a pet psychic, if you will. Oh.

And I have found just the lady. I've heard of those. Yes. They're all over the internet. They're all over the internet. You did some interviewing and you found the right one. I just, I went out there. I decided to do some research on YouTube,

which is the place where you find all the facts It's find all the facts and I found a pet detective a pet psychic who also acts as a detective who I think could be our key to the whole thing So are you ready? Do you want to hear a little bit of this lady? I think in order to really get a thing for Nico That's right anything for me and I think in order to get a sense you know out there in the audience for what we're dealing with, we have to take a listen to one of her videos. So here we go. Hi, I'm Laura Stansfield, the pet psychic, and we are about to embark on an adventure. Adventure. They're going on a venture, which is like when you start a company, but it's a venture. Like with venture capital. My favorite adventures start with,

my favorite adventures have venture in the word. I'm traveling across the country and a 25 foot RV. By the way, that's huge, 25 foot, that's huge. That's one of those big bad boys. With five dogs, one cat, one giant funny, and a maca. Holy fucking shit. Smells great.

Yeah. Come on in. We're pre-gaming for widespread. How, why do I feel like she's touring with panic? Why do I feel like this lady has a touring with panic? She's on Shake Down Street, if you need her. I'm going to share how to talk to the animals about the trip and showcase our whole adventures.

Wow, her whole ventures are gonna be broadcast and she's gonna share with you how you can talk to your pet about the trip. So I figured we could pick up a couple cool tips on how we get to the bottom of what's going on with Nico. Okay, so stay tuned. Oh, we're not going anywhere. Easter, where do you want to say?

Easter is a dog, by the way. So I can't see this, but this is Easter the dog. Okay, these are all rescues, so good on you, Laura. Yes. I'll say that. Hey, about going on our trip. To touch, leave me alone. Stop talking to me.

I love this is weird. Is she talking to the dog? Is she saying? Is she like, I know. I think she's like, like trying to, like feeding the dog lines off stage. Like, tell me, tell me I'm excited about going on the trip Yes, she is whispering I didn't pick this up on the first go around Easter says everyone needs to learn how to talk to the animals because otherwise animals think you're stupid. He's too suss.

Oh, we can't be away from the crazy lady. You need to learn how to talk to the animals, you think you're stupid? What? It's kind of offensive, Laura. I talk to my animals all the time. Get off the fucking couch. Stop fighting your brother. Don't shit in the hallway.

I'm not very noisy, sir. Did they do stupid? They don't think they're stupid. Only. What is that? What's filming this? What is that? What's filming this?

Did they have a restraining order against Laura? No, no, no, no, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, I think Easter is thinking about her old person. Her old person is my ex-husband. Her old person is my ex-boyfriend. Bastard. I feel like she's using the dog for her own purposes here. I don't feel like, I don't feel like if you ask the dog something, then you say it back to them, then it makes it true. I used to do that with

like a GI Joe, I once had true American adventure. We're going into war. We're going into war. Just repeat it. Just repeat whatever you say. And that makes it true. That is. He might not have been a smart communicator. Doesn't mean everybody was smart communicator. Um, yeah, I am him clearly. Laura. If there's anybody who knows about smart communicator, when you catered, it's Laura the pet say yes. Luca, what do you? Luca is another dog.

You want to say, what are you? Are you, are you nervous about anything about this? I'm nervous about you. You're holding me. You're a loony tune. Put me in a pack of dogs and let me go. Look at my body. I'm scared.

Big trip that we're going on, do you have any questions? Yeah, why are you talking to me? Like this. It scares the shit out of me What do you think? Look I want to know how many friends can we bring what we do come any friends can we bring to protect me? From you You mean do you want me like doggy friends or people?

Is she answering a whispering voice? That's what she's doing. She's answering a whispering voice and then saying it out loud as if the dog said it. Let it, okay. See what I'm saying? Is she trying to channel the pet and to whisper in it?

I don't know. I wish Teresa Caputo would do this because then we could clearly see how full a shit she was. But, you know, at least she takes some, here's the thing. In this psychic video, at least she takes a moment so that we can try and, you know, at least she takes some, here's the thing. In this psychic video, at least she takes a moment so that we can try and, you know, so that it seems like the dog might be saying something to her.

Like she's giving pause to the whole situation. Now we can hear her whispering under her breath. I think she's like practicing what she's gonna say, right? Do you have any questions? Did you hear the way she said questions? She's like, do you have any questions? Yes, I do. Why are you yelling at me? Yes, he does. Why are you yelling at me?

Yeah, I haven't been fed in three days. You need to get a real job. This pet psychic thing isn't working out. All our friends, I'm gonna miss them. I know. You know what my dad told me today? We'll make new friends. Oh my gosh. You believe it? Mommy has to leave down before the sheriff catches up with her. I'm gonna have a fun little adventure.

Yeah, the divorce attorney says I have to leave the house today. And you know what? We'll come back and we'll be back here again. Yeah, the divorce attorney says I have to leave the house today. Ha ha ha. Ah. And you know what, we'll come back and we'll be back here again. We may not stay forever. We might stay forever, but we might not stay forever. Depends on how the restraining turns out. Right, right, right, right, right. Tell him the truth, Laura.

You got us in this situation. You get us out. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ah! in this situation, you get us out! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's a mess in there. By trailer, do you mean dungeon where we all get stuck for hours on end without air conditioning? Did you fix the air conditioning, Laura? Did you? Where were we? Did you see this on YouTube? Yes, I did.

OK. So funny. What is it? What is it, the trailer? The trailer looks like a trailer. I don't know. They didn't show the inside, just the outside, which I want to see in the office, this is vicious to me.

How do you carry five dogs, two turtles, it's part of an affair, yeah, I mean God, that's just like, yeah. Ah, man, I love my dogs, I love them to death. Oh, all the animals, but maybe not an trailer. But they're hard to take, you know, they're another human being, essentially, that you have to take care of,

and they shit all over the place, and they pee all over the place, and they pee all over the place. And they're not as classy as those human beings when it comes to the peeing and pooping. And so it starts to smell after all. If you're not taking care of your dogs, like if you're not washing them every couple of weeks and making sure that you keep up with it,

brushing their teeth and all that other stuff, the animal smell, that's what they do. They're not offended by odors like we are. So I can only imagine what this fucking RV smells like. Yeah. Come on. What are you doing? I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,

I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be about is our food. Well, we have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. we have it. We have it. We Oh yeah. Oh shit. And listen to what she's feeding them. I feed the farmer's dog which is awesome, but I'm not sure how to bring five dogs worth of farmer's dog for 10 days.

That is quite a feat with coolers and ice. And so we're trying to find another option and she said yeah, isn't she said Can't you tell there's gonna be another farmer's dog down the road like you know come on lady Stop in a store you get some more you pick up on little bags That's what you do you pick up a bag for every day or whatever you got four dogs They got to be going through one of those small little bags every single day and these are not small dogs They're big and they're furry. Oh, wow. Yeah.

They're a mounted dog here in that. But maybe because I'm allergic, I feel a little bit different about animals than some people do. But when I think of big dogs with a lot of fur, I think of absolute misery. That's what I think of. I think of being congested and smelly and rotten all day. One of them that we've been trying to not go over well with the... That's right where I shit myself all day. Oh one of them that we've been trying to not go overwhelmed with it. That's right where I shit myself all day long When they've been trying to go over

Dogs right so we're gonna get you in a Triple beef burrito from Taco Bell's not gonna do it Laura I love that our name is Laura. Cause I feel like I could really get into this one. Go fuck yourself, Laura! Other food, I mean, come on, I always feed you, right? And you definitely not too thin. So you-

Let me just ask one question here. So instead of being a psychic, which I think of like, you know, from the dead. Yeah, from the dead. Yeah, from the dead, that's right. Tug, I don't know. It seems like she's more like a dog interpreter. Yeah, she's like a dog mind reader. Who's that guy, Dr. Do Little?

She's more like a do little. Yeah, I mean, she calls herself the pet psychic and there are other videos that she does where she does kind of like more like dead dog type stuff. You know, did I cause my snake any trauma on the way out the door? Like literally she, like, and then there's this really famous lady who is apparently a pet psychic to the stars. And she had a television show for a short period of time

on Animal Planet, where she was literally going into Famine's People's Homes and talking to their pets, like, you know, your animals experience, you know, experience, suffering in its last incarnation as a flower or whatever. Yeah. Trying to ask her for it. Yeah. But the dog's feelings and things, yeah.

Listen, you're a celebrity and you have enough money to waste on these people. I have no pity on you. Zero. You're, uh, you know, making five dollars an hour at the ice cream store and Teresa Caputo starts talking to your dead brother and torturing you I have all the pity in the world for you. Gonna get food that you like. It's gonna happen So I don't think you need to worry about that. So I Know he wants like the primal raw or kiwi kitchen dehydrated or the primal dehydrate

Wait the dog knows brand names I don't know I can't back it remember which food my dog eats it. I go to the store. I'm like, uh, there's a color on the bag the green one You know the green one As I asked the lady same question every time I'm like the green one you know what branded is oh fucking no Green one the dog on the front No, the dog does the brands. Yeah, I wanted apple iPod just call

What do you want I want alpo Chicken in bits, you know the one the blue bag. I Want Oscar buyer? I'm on that diet No carbs I was reading the label the other day to set it at 23 extra grams of sugar. I don't like that shit. You'll cover hydrates. I on amino acids low on protein. You know what I'm saying? The fuck lady? She's telling you the brand name. He wants kiwi. He does? Wow.

A prime fits. He's, that's what he said. Or did he say armpits? Like your armpits smell like take a shower, Laura. Right, I know. You love that kind of food. I know. By the way, you have to bell on the dog's 24 hours a day. It's a fuck.

I can't take my dog's. It's my dog scratching too. It's just a whole situation going on. There's fur everywhere and Laura's hair. I know you want the game even. It's talking to you. This is the kind of lady. Did you ever see the best in show? see the best in show before they were talking you know where's bumblebee busy busy busy this is like a bee you call this a bee oh it's a great show I imagine Laura at some point his also had a similar he's asking for the bee the busy bee The busy bee

Help me the dog's talking to me 24 hours a day. It's trying to be crazy. I See you sleeping though. I'm not perfect. I'm gonna kill you easily You better get Kiwi next time Me and the other dogs have decided to take you out unless we got primal vids. Ha ha ha. Rep- Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I'll smile for the camera and do your little dance, but if you don't give me prime vids, it's over! Ha ha ha. We're forming a union. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Rep-ha ha. Ha ha ha. forming a union. RIPPARF! ME AND THE MAKALF form the union. THE MAKALF! She's got a schlock non-stop until we get prime bits. RIPPARF! NOOOO! RIPPARF! RIPPARF!

RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! RIPPARF! No I'm picked for the ball in the trailer. I know talking like having a meeting

And she's like oh We're gonna haunt you in your sleep. All right, right, right This trailer's gonna set out of fire. I wish I had an impossible thumb so I could stangle you. What is this kind of little and bit shit? Would you want to eat gimmel and bits Laura? Oh, I'm going to prime it. Sounds like Santa Claus. It's a dream. I don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. I don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out.

I don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus.

Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus.

Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it out. Sounds like Santa Claus. Don't know who kicked it's a big, it's awful, biggie. Small batch. Well, all right. And crafts, it's small batch. And crafts, it's small batch, prime batch, blah, blah. Get it right, right it down. Small batch. What? What?

Small batch. Small batch. What does it matter? I think the batch is. Stock food. We here at Pranby make our food with love. One small cup at a time. That's why you pay $695 per pound.

We make it for Laura and her dogs who demand it by name. I You're a bitch. Oh, I want you to know that Man, I'm man, he takes this bill off and get me small batch prime base I would never do another YouTube video again I'm gonna shit on your feet next time you make a YouTube video law. Oh, well, they like you then they won't Why are hangers I tell you know Okay, what else what else are you concerned about what else? concerned else are you concerned about? What else? concerned about your health your mental sanity

He wants to know if it's possible that we won't like this trip Why yes? Why yes Easter? Why yes, why yes Easter Why yeah look at Easter you look her you look her Easter Roxy we're going on a venture you never know nothing ventured never Possibly won't like this Laura is it possible you might die tonight. I know you're sleep Before we'll get off that bus again We want a living wage Laura. We want small batch give us a bit Laura

We don't want to be stuck on that non air condition bus Laura with you and your smelly armpits We're going on strike He says he's having a little problem right now. Oh, Laura, you're so funny. Listen, we'll get back. Oh my God, I wanted some more of that. Oh, you want some more? Okay, hold on, we'll play some more. I can play some more.

I just want to see what else the dogs are demanding. Okay, hold on. We'll, you want to hear a little bit more. Okay, here we go. Did you contest it at? He says, yeah, that is true. And you know what, we're gonna see, like, we're gonna go, we're gonna go to, like, parks,

and you're gonna see really cool trees. I don't care about trees, Laura. I piss on trees. I wanna go to the roots. I want prime bits. Deliver to me every night, Laura. How do you get a spa? Yeah, how do you wanna go to the ritz. I want prime bits delivered to me every night Laura. How do you get a spa? Yeah, I want to go to the spa, the doggy spa. You know that nice one you sent me to in

Sland Clemente last time we had a union strike. That our fault you keep fucking things up with a man Laura. You need therapy Laura. I keep telling you this. You will listen to the McCall. I'm a call's not a therapist. They just say back telling you this. You will listen to the McCall. I'm a caz not a therapist. They just say back what you say. Now you're doing it everywhere. Twittleswattle, whatever you say, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Who's, and really cool scenery and lakes and rivers and what do you know really cool places? This is gonna be more fun than I thought. He says it's gonna be more fun than he thought. And pick up we're gonna torture you Laura! That's right, we need to get out to a nice, secluded spot. We're nobody's around.

We'll have lots of fun Laura. That's right Laura. Take us out to one of those campgrounds where no one is South Florida in the swamp. Will survive. Will you? This is this like last time you promised us trees and sceneries and mountains we ended up in Shake Down Street at a fish concert for five fucking days. Well, you were high on MDMA and

ayahuasca. We had to lick of your puke. Laura. You're a mess. I like my daddy better. I don't know why you got us at the divorce. So do you think that what we've learned from right now is that the importance is that we have to tell our animals all the fun things that are going to happen on the trip? No, Laura. Don't lie.

This isn't a fucking child's book. That's a real life. The importance is how much am I getting paid? What are we getting back? Can I hump? Can I hump Julie? I know she's a new dog in the group, but she's really hot. At least let me get in the leg.

Can I get in the leg? Go on Laura! Not just the things that might be concerning. Yolleg, you're right. He says you're right, we are fun families. He says you're right, we are fun families. Without you! We're such a fun family.

So true, we're such a fun family. So this is our first trip with Bradley, which is like really super exciting, right? You haven't been on a road trip with me before. I don't think you have, right? I don't think so. I don't think so have I don't know you might have I can't give up to month vendor I went on you have if I did you come from the streets

of south-west Angeles yeah could I think you have been Costa. I don't remember you on the plane with me. We walked, really? So that's where 31 went. I was wondering how I turned 32. 30 to 32, it was really weird, it was a weird year. Oh my gosh. All right. Oh, that was good stuff.

Okay, what said I?'m much more do you want. That's good. You good? We'll go back to Laura. She's got lots of fun. Yeah, we might get this. She's got lots of fun. Oh, okay, that's it.

Oh my God. Kibbles and bits to you, right? It was a bit to you. Best to you. And best to you, Laura. And congratulations on all of your pets and your dogs and all the other good stuff. We just, you know what I do appreciate? I do appreciate the fact that she has a lot of rescuances.

I think that that's the part that we care about. Yes. And I say good for you, Laura. And if you're going on a trip with your dogs, you know, listen, I wouldn't put four dogs, a cat, and a McCall, a burnt bunny or whatever. I'd be afraid the dogs would eat the bunny. Or the McCall would poke my eyes out while I was sleeping.

I don't know if you've seen those giant bunnies. Oh yeah. That's what she has. That's what she has. Yeah, it's a giant bunny. It's just a little weird. You know, I had a bunny when I was a kid, but for some reason, I don't remember what happened to it, but it didn't stay around for long.

Yeah. And I'm wondering if it died on its own or did my dad just dispose of it? Like he did every other day. I'm on my house. It ran away. We had two dogs. And they were, we had two dogs. They were gone within 10 days.

Both of them. We had two cats. They were gone within three months. Mainly because I ended up being very allergic to them. And I think my dad was trying to actually save me. But my mom said, oh, they went to a farm where nice people were like, they probably went back to the pound.

They were like, they'll farm. They'll farm, trick. The two dogs actually went back to the breeders because one of them ended up having some kind of like turpentine or some disease. Turpentine, some disease that's not good for you. Yeah.

And then another dog, I don't know, it just went away. I'm not saying, my parents are doing anything mean to it. I think that they just realized that that, you know, it wasn't a right fit. There was too much going on at the time. Then I ended up having a pet rat, which my dad made me put down,

like, release into the sewer. Well, it was a pet rat. What? Yeah, he made me, well, I mean, to be fair to my dad, he had a rat running around his house. And I was high on every spank in this under the sun, and mostly spending night at my stripper's girlfriend's house at the time So, you know to be fair to my dad. He had a pet rat

My dad hated that thing I ended up keeping it out on the garage and I made like this, you know, I made like a little little thing like a little closet. Yeah, I made a little course for it and everything it what the white within an hour it was gone it was like not there and it was back in my room somehow it just ended up back in my room like under my pillow and my dad was like okay time to get rid of the rat and I'm like where do you want me to put it he's like put it in the store that's what rats live and I'm like dad this is an alb pet rat. I bought it at a store and he's like, well, it's gonna learn to survive on its own now, isn't it?

He's like, go take it back to the store and I'm like, they have no return policy and he's like, I have no rat policy. Get rid of the fucking rat. Not my problem, yours. I have no rat policy. And then one time I tried to buy a snake and then my dad put his foot down for it.

My dad had a snake. Oh, he did? Good college, yeah, I get a boa. Yeah. Well, I ended up, we ended up, mom made him get rid of it. Yes, it's no good. Snakes are no good.

You know, I mean, listen, I'm sure they're lovely creatures, but it's not good for you. It's not good for you to have a snake. You got mites and all kind of different bullshit. You really gotta take care of a snake, by the way. Yeah, especially even his captivity. So with that said,

I don't know why we got talking about that, but good for you Laura, on keeping the animals from the rescue. We love you, all in good fun my friend. Keep talking to the animals. I love you. I love you Brian. And until next time, we have to say best to you. Best to you. Bye. I see you. Bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays, new YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slas, the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library.

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