The Commercial Break - The Hoodless Honda Lot!

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

We do what we must to save a buck, but how far would you go? Bryan & Krissy reminisce on their crappy car days and check in on some extreme cheapskates. $700 Snow Crab Expense it! Perks of the radio station Bryan’s honda with no hood Naked Attraction is now on Max! Extreme Cheapskates…Best Of 7 moves in 8 years Only eat non perishables She likes her shoes cold Giving up dental hygiene?! Alien sperm on the mattress Roberta tells her what’s up Spare sheets from the motel? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**

How's your morning going? About to have a mental breakdown, how about you? Nice, nice. I'm in the middle of a mental breakdown already. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ On this episode of the commercial break... Chris, he's got like a big dancing bear sticker on the back. Ha ha ha ha.

The wheel is squealing. Ha ha ha ha ha. The other people who are in Lexus are like, Ha ha ha ha. I don't think that's what this is for. Hey, hey, hey! Are the other people who own Lexus' or are like... I don't think that's what this is for. Are we sure that that's a real Lexus? Or is that a Honda with a Lexus sticker on it? The mean ball you're wheeling up to the players?

I was in the players a lot with a Honda that had no hood. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, Kazugins, welcome back to another episode of the commercial break, Ombrind Green. This is my dear friend and completely anonymous co-host, Kristen Joy, Odie Best of You, Kristen. Best of You, although in the podcast universe! I realized like three days ago that I've been using your middle name this entire time. So now, anybody that needs to find you can do so.

Willingly, you want to give out your Social Security number while we're at it? This is Chris! This is Chris! 4.5.6.78.221.Joy.Hodley! Finder on 3.21.11.3 I love my middle name. I love your middle name too. I think Joy is a cool name. Dan did a joy one time. Oh you Dan did a joy. My brother and I dated a joy. Oh you both?

Kevin dated her first and then I got the tail end of it. Okay. I don't know why. Don't ask me. It only happened twice in the entire time that Kevin I had been twins, which is almost all my life. He's up in the first seven minutes. Yeah. He came out. I was like, hey, twins, which is almost all my life. Yeah, I didn't have the first seven minutes. Um, yeah, he came out, I was like, what are you, hey, I'm waiting for you my entire life!

I already told that joke three times. I told that joke three times over my birthday weekend. Um, but we only dated the same girl twice. You're not identical twins too, let me explain. No, that's, yeah, we should say that. Definitely not identical. Kevin I wasn't like you were not going to switch a rule. I think more what it was,

it is- Competition. I think the first one was competition. We were young teenagers, like 15, 16 years old. And I think it was a little bit of competition. Plus, I think it was the girl was kind of playing us a little bit. I don't think we realized it at the time.

But hey, we both got our hoods wet and that's all that at the end of the day. Matters at our young tender age, but she ended up becoming good friends with both of us for a long time So sweet girl and then the second one the joy. I don't know how that happened. I really don't he dated her for a while And then I don't know what happened for a hot minute her and I were an item and I mean a hot minute I mean a hot minute because this girl was very prim and proper and super sweet super nice young lady, but she just was prim and proper.

And I was not prim and proper. I was living in someone's screened in porch. Yes, you are. Yes. With another person on a screened in porch for a two-bedroom apartment. You can imagine how big the screened in porch was. It was like the size of this carpet right here

and there were two of us living in there. We'd get woken up by people walking their dogs on the back of the trail. I saw an article, Chrissy, that only could remind me of Kristen Joy Holy, and it's been going around the internet. The inner webs. The inner pipes. Did you see the article about the lady who ordered 700 American dollars worth of crab in Singapore and then refused to pay for it because no one apparently told her how much it was gonna cost I was like this is Chrissy Houdley I do love crab I was waiting for Chrissy's name to appear in the article but it did not lady goes to a restaurant they have snow snow crab, fresh snow crab.

This isn't Singapore. At a nice restaurant there. What's the most expensive place in the world? Oh, it is? Singapore. Oh, Singapore. Okay, I think we're talking about this restaurant. I guess if you had heard the story.

Okay. So, Singapore is very expensive in the first place. This lady and her family go there and they get so excited about the special, which is live snow crab that's there, then I'm going to cook for you, that they bring out the snow crab that she wants live. It's alive. They put it on the table. They tell her, this is what you're ordering. They explain to her or so they say, they explain to her how much per pound this is, but

it's not about the meat that you get off the crab. It's about how much the crab itself weigh because that's how it's done. And so the crab is like $49 a pound or something and she orders this 18 pound crab, 20 pound crab and she gets, ends up getting about an $800 bill when it's all said and done. And she goes fucking ape shit and then she goes ape shit online telling people never go and eat this restaurant, they try and screw you, they're trying to take your money. Well, the restaurant got so upset

by her accusations that they released a video of the whole interaction, like from the beginning when they sat down until the end when she was throwing a fit about the bill. And it's clear, at least to me, it's clear that they did show her which crab she was getting. Why wouldn't they tell her the price? Yeah, you got to pay.

And if you are so unintelligent as to not ask how much something is, then everybody's got to assume that that's because you can pay the bill no matter what, no matter what the dollar amount is on the bottom of it. So this just became this kind of pissing match between these two. I don't know why it's captured my attention, but it has mainly because it happened to me and Chrissy and our good friend Rachel. Oh, but just so proud. Yes. Rachel dragged in a stray cat with her to the restaurant and then Chrissy, I, Jeff and Astrid were at this really nice seafood restaurant here. They

come. The nice waiter is like, you know, welcome to Sheffa Fou. Today we have a special turtle shell crab, but whatever the fuck he was saying, you know, turtle shell crab, the tiny little tiny little claws, you break them open yourself, you get one little nugget of meat, 69.99 per claw, you know, and we're all like, oh wow, I don't even mind how to set the price. He did say the price actually, $6,999 per, and Chrissy is, obviously she had a, what were you doing? Chrissy, you went to Shake Down Street before you showed up at the restaurant. Yeah, I had a couple of glasses of wine, let's just say,

and yeah, I was in the mood for crap. Chrissy was tailgating for the dinner basically, and when she showed up, she was in the tailgating mood, and so Chrissy goes, that's awesome. I love crab. Let's take 10 of those, and then 50 of those. And so this guy literally, his eyes light up. He's like, what?

He runs to the back. He brings this huge like tray of these snow crabs. And Chrissy just starts devouring them. And we're all like, wow, good for you, Chrissy. That's only one story. You weren't with me in Vegas one time when I was at a work convention. And we all went out after the show.

Yeah, quite unquote. And we went to the seafood restaurant and they talked about the seafood tower. And I'm like, yes. Let's get it. Yep. And our bosses, bosses. the happy, do you remember? Oh, they weren't so happy.

Like a huge seafood feast. Here's my opinion about these kind of situations. Like, in, by the way, it wasn't as if. The seafood tower is fun though. You see the fur tower is fun, but they're always very expensive. Because you know what they do. They put a little capy on top. Yeah. They've got everything chilled. It's lovely. No one ends up eating all the food. Half of it just sits there. You know,

half of it is fish you've never heard of and you don't want it anyway. Chrissy, not only did she eat the 50 claws that they brought her for an appetizer, but then ordered 50 more claws for dinner. So she had a hundred snow crab clause for dinner. Love crab. It was good. I have to say that. I tasted one. It was delicious. So the bill comes. It's like $600, $300 of which is snow crab. And we're all like, oh my God. I paid. So we got taken care of. We, here's my opinion on this situation. I'll give you an example. We go to one of these podcast conferences

and a company that we know invites. Another conference. See things happen at the conference. At the conference, it's free wheeling, free flowing cash. Everyone. It is, expensive. Yeah, everyone's got that core company credit card and this is the one time they can really take it

for a ride. And no questions will be asked. Or no questions shouldn't be asked. That's more like it. They'll be asked later But yeah, who they'll be as poor. I don't know. I'm drunk. I don't care Yeah, what do you mean the cheetah is not part of the approved expense list? You mean hot bones therapy was not a part of the Yeah, we talk business I told her I was in the park.

Fuck, on gas industry. Right. Right. Oh, we go to this, so this company invites a couple of us out. I am with somebody at the time when I get the invite. And this guy just kind of like nudges his nose in the conversation, like a little puppy dog like we were talking about before. Right.

So the company then, the executives of the other company invite this other guy who I was hanging around just at that moment, ask him if he wants to come to. The polite thing to do, they did the right thing, they asked him. And he's standing right there. Yeah, he's standing right there. It was kind of hard not to.

I don't think they wanted to invite him, but I think he got invited, right? So we go to this restaurant. It's a steakhouse, a really nice steakhouse in Orlando, and the waiter comes out, and the executives at this other company are ordering it all seafood tower. Let's get some crab meat.

Let's get some caviar. Let's have the nice bottom line. So they're really kind of whining and dying. Yeah, I'm taking a glass of candy. I'm taking a best bottle of clanty, classical, which is red wine vinegar. That's what it is. So they're out there showing us that this is a good time. Now, understandably, they're trying to get my business because I work for a company that can spend money with them.

The other person that was with that got politely invited was not in that situation. They were just a creator that could maybe spend a little bit of money at some point. So maybe in the future, but probably not. If you knew the guy, you're gonna know probably not, right? He probably never intended to spend any money. But he's here having a free dinner happily. Oh, and that guy know probably not, right? He probably never intended to dispend anybody,

but he's here having a free dinner happily. Oh, and that guy brought his wife, by the way. So it was like a whole thing. Okay, but anyway, everyone's having a good time. No one's complaining, there's no side. I know and gave me a look. Like, hey, you kind of invited this guy and then you invited his wife.

But they're going around the table, making the order and you can either get the steak or you can get the steak topped with this. Have a little that. They're surf and turf. Yeah, a po-a. Uh-ha, whoo-na. A po-a, la-na-bla.

So there's all these different options that cost like 40 bucks extra a piece. Oh, of course. Well, the guy who got invited kind of nudges me and he goes, I guess we're paying the bill. Any, of course. Well, the guy who got invited kind of nudges me and he goes, I guess we're here, they're paying the bill. Any orders, everything. The crab meat, the caviar, the thing,

the expensive glass of wine, the dot, the dot, the dot, and I'm thinking to myself, this is a totally the wrong thing to do. This is the wrong play here. Yeah. What you do is you be very considerate about what you're ordering. It doesn't matter if they have the money to spend, it doesn't matter if they invited you, it doesn't matter.

You never order the most expensive thing. No. You order something in the middle, right? A nice strip steak with, you know, like an orange juice sauce, not a plough. Don't go crazy with the peppercorns. Ojú, because you know they have that hanging out somewhere in the back and it only costs them extra dollars.

It's pretty awesome, Ojú. Ojú is the best. It's so good, a French dip. Yes, maybe even order a little horse radish sauce. Yeah. If you're going crazy, the horse radish cream, you know what I'm saying? Order a glass of wine, $9, $12, $13,

don't order the $50 glass of wine. That's ridiculous. First of all, who's serving $50 glasses of wine, you should get the whole fucking bottle. Second of all, don't do that, don't be that guy. But, you know, Harry and Terry over here are just ordering everything they possibly can.

It's like the first time, it's like the first time you go to a buffet, you just can't control yourself. So what I do is I order middle of the road. I capture their trust. Now they know I'm a good guy, and then, and then, when we're drunk enough, I suggest we go to the strip club.

Knowing that they're gonna go, what a good guy. You didn't order any fancy, fancy stuff on his stick. Let's get in with a couple of laugh dances. That's when you go crazy. Then you just go to the private room, you tell them to charge it to that guy. You know, you get their hotel room number and charge stuff like, you know, I don't know.

You say, what room are you in? 242, okay. in your order of room service and charge it to 242. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy? You know, be blatantly, slavvently, you know, be blatantly obnoxious. You have to do it on the slide. That's what you do.

And so that's the way that I would play it. I just don't like being that guy who orders the most expensive thing just because I can. It doesn't make any sense. Are you angry? Yeah, but not everybody apparently sees it that way. No.

And by the way, to my knowledge, Guy still hasn't spent the money with that company. I probably get to write it off though. Yeah, they're writing it off. They don't give a shit. It's just one big tax break for them. That's the way some of these companies roll too. And you know what kind of company you're dealing with when you do one of those dinners. You know if you're dealing with like a fiscally responsible, frugal company,

when they order a couple appetizers for the table, a middle of the road, bottle of wine, and they tell you politely, get whatever you want, but you know that's not what they really mean, what they really mean is please don't tax my credit card too much. And so you'd be the nice guy and that's what you do. It's like poor Marlin when he goes to that restaurant with all those girls. You know, it goes to show up to a blind date. He shows up to the blind date and this lady who he met are good friend Marlin literally brings multiple family members and friends

to the restaurant still crazy. They got six people at the table and they all start to leave one by one to go to the bathroom. And before Marlon knows that he's sitting there by himself and they have taken off after they spent a lot of money on food so much so that they- That was their strategy.

That was their strategy. They ghosted him while he was at the table. So bad did they ghost him. So bad did everyone in the restaurant feel for him that actually took the appetizers off the bill small consolation yeah you know you what is the what is the most opulent or ridiculous thing you've seen money be spent on corporate wise like a corporate credit card, holy shit, can't believe we just did that. Clear channel? 755 club? I probably, probably, but then also too, yeah, these conferences that you go to,

or that I've been to as part of different companies in my life. And yeah, it's where people just go crazy. And they're like, yep, put it on the car. You go absolutely nuts. Uh-huh. It is like- And the company's paying. Yeah. People go crazy.

And you only go crazy if the boss goes crazy. If the boss goes crazy, then you follow their lead. Like 700 shots. Here you go. Yeah. That's the least to do. Chrissy and I used to work for that fucking radio company and I am telling you what,

there was like a deal with the local sports team. We get upstairs into the private club where only the sweets can get into this particular bar and you know, they knew us by name, by first name the security guards did. They were just like literally open the door. Yeah, they would open that sliding glass door and close it.

They would say our name. Hey Brian, hey, you're here to spend enough money on our tip. But there was some deal worked out between the local sports team in this radio company where it was like, let's call it $10,000. Uh, every two months they could spend up at this club. It seemed unlimited to me. It was unlimited because I saw some of those bills and $10,000. Sometimes there would be a hundred people up there, all of which were claiming they were with this radio company, drinking because the bar would stay open like three hours after the game was over.

It did, I know. So sometimes there would be thousands of dollars charged and it it seemed like, I don't know, I seem like we went well over that $10,000. I'm not teetering down the stairs to the home plate. I remember I almost got into a fist fight once. I had that green pass, you know, like green means go. I would walk in through the fucking locker room. It was insane. It was insane.

It was insane. That was some of the bet. That was a good part of working for the local radio company when they gave us the green, yeah, when they gave us the pass. Yeah, I made up for all the bullshit. And you would- Thank you for the projections. Made up for the projections.

The projection meetings that sucked all the life out of me. There's a reason why I look my age now. There's those fucking projection meetings that sucked all the life out of me. This is the reason why I look my age now. Those fucking projection meetings. So stressful. You would, when we had that, I had that pass, it came along with a parking pass. And you would park next to where the player's parked. I remember.

And then you would walk in down under the stadium. You would park in that Honda. Yeah, I would park with a Honda Accord that had half a hood on it. I would park in with a Honda Accord that had half a hood on it. I'm for how in park and the Lexus lot. The Alexis fish really. Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah, you had a big. I got your stuff.

I'm fucking the Lexus lot. All like these luxury Lexus is hanging out. They do like a car wash while you're there. And Chris, he'd be like, my. three Lexus and say, and out they do like a car wash while you're there. And Chrissy be like, my won't be driving at home. That's right. I'm going to leave this.

It's going to be here until tomorrow. Do you mind? Yeah. I'm going to leave the doors unlocked so the locals can go through it. When I leave later on tonight, Chrissy's got like a big dancing bear sticker on the back. The wheel is squealing. Yeah. Yeah.

The other people who own Lexus are like, I don't think that's what this is for. Are we sure that that's a real Lexus or is that a Honda with a Lexus sticker on it? But meanwhile, you're wheeling up to the players. I was in the players with a Honda that had no hood. I've got a pass. I'm gonna pass. A-a-a-a. And I'd walk in.

I told the tap. I know, put it on the tap. Put it on the tap. Yeah, put it on there too. And you would walk in through the bottom of the basement and the way you would go, you would walk in and you were inside of the police precinct which was for the professional sports team

including a holding tank, two holding tanks. I'll wait with you, wait. Yes, they're there. And so it wasn't unusual to walk in, there would be multiple police officers sitting in their office, monitoring whatever was going on. But then, not us.

Not us. Every time I walked in on one of those monitors, my Honda with the no hood was on it. The guy was like scrolling in. Is that a bomb? Or is that a Honda? What is that? No, it's just my lawnmower.

I wrote it here. It's my writing lawnmower. It's called a John Deere Accord. 1992. Too funny. Oh my god. But it would not be unusual to walk in and see people in that holding tank. Even before the game started, they had gotten so drunk. Yeah, they, they were already in the holding tank. The best would be those day games. Oh, yeah. Forget about it. Day drinking.

Yeah. Well, one of the games. Yeah. And I had, I had made friend friend nice, nice with some of the cheerleaders. I guess you call them whatever they are. They're girls who have dance on the dugout. Remember the one that I was dating for a while, Jen? And so between the green pass that I had, the cheerleaders that were always hanging around.

I remember, I loved this, I like loved this waitress at the local bar that we would go to. Is she looked to me like the girl from the hills? What was her name? L.C. Do you remember this girl? She worked there. Oh, I do. She was like a twin sister.

At our head, I was a place that we used to go to all the time. CCT. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Scott. I lived there for a while. I just love this girl. I know we live there every night. What are you talking about? We're there all the time. So I love this waitress. She was like, she was just so sweet. She was in beautiful. Primm and proper, beautiful, very nice. And so for months, her and I were getting increasingly

flirty with each other until she told me one time, I am gonna go to the Braves game. And I was like, oh, you are. Well, I have a pass to the Braves game. Why don't you come and I'll give you tickets. Broom, broom. But I didn't want to drive her because I had a Honda with no hood.

So I said, meet me down there. Well, I meet me down there. Well, I met her down there and she's got her like five-year-old son with her. I didn't know she had a kid. That's right. So now, imagine this. I'm hanging out with her in the kid. I'm already pretty inebriated.

I've got this green pass go, so I'm totally distracted by everything, but I'm really into this girl. And then all of a sudden, my phone starts buzzing. It's the cheerleader, right? And she said, where are you? You know, I thought you were coming today, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I say, hey, LC, hold on one moment.

I'm gonna go say hi to a friend and I'll be back. And like, in any and a half later, I'm still sitting down with these cheerleaders talking and the LC is now texting me, hey, me and my son are up in section whatever. And I'm like, oh, come down to the section behind the dugout. There's some extra seats down here. And she came down.

And as soon as she came down, the cheerleader, who I had been talking to, got like, handsy. She started getting handsy. She saw that someone was trying to move in. It didn't matter. The girl didn't like me. She was dating one of the professional baseball players. But she started putting her hands all over me. And I will never forget thinking,

I'm getting cockblock right now by someone I'm never gonna have any chance with. What's whoever and the girl with the child, L.C., she left so fast that my head spout. I remember you telling me about that. Never talked to her again. I never spoke to her again. She was smart, she got it.

She was smart. She had it. She was smart. She hadn't that face of her life. If anybody thought of that face in my life that I should be anywhere around responsibility, like a responsibility of a child, she clearly saw what was going on. She was like, this guy is unfit to take care of himself, let alone a child, right? Oh my God, you remember her. Wonder whatever happened to LC. Good time.

Still can't remember her real name. You know, I have all these phone names in my phone number and sometimes I go through them and it'll spark a memory, you know? And I'm like, oh, Amanda, I remember Amanda. You can't even go through my phone numbers. I mean, it's thousands. I don't know what to even do with it all. I've had an iPhone since I don't even go through my phone numbers. I mean, it's thousands. I don't know what to even do with it all. I've had an iPhone since, I don't know,

since a year after they came out, two years after they came out, yeah. And so that would have been 2012 or 2013. So I've had it for almost a decade. And all of those phone numbers, I've collected. Just get migrated and migrated and changed and changed. I wish I still had my blackberry. But anyway, back to the cheap skate

who wouldn't pay for her meal at this place, it made me think of extreme cheap skates. Do you remember that show we used to watch? Yes. TLC Australia has been nice enough to... Australia. Her tip in the other country. It's not enough that I, it's not foot my watching have it's extend to TLC and only TLC

I also watch TLC Australia, but they were nice and they're old wide Hey, listen when you got a channel like that and you get some of those hits you got to go all across the world with that It is oh my gosh. I had to tell you something. I wish I told you in the last episode I don't know why but now I'm gonna tell you. HBO Max, Max Plus Disney Plus minus Boo Boo. Okay, did you know what popped up yesterday? Naked attraction is now uncensored on Max. So if you saw our episode or listen to our episode

about naked attraction and you have Max, HBO Max, max max plus whatever the fuck they call it these days if you have max plus Go search for naked attraction if you want to watch it. They they listen to it. They got it They listen to our show. Isn't that unbelievable? They more like they listened to my phone and heard that I like naked attraction and now they're feeding it to me. It's a Fascinating show. You have to watch it. You have to watch it. They have five seasons up there. You feel bad and also you can't turn away. And also it's crazy.

It's just crazy. If you want to see a lot of close ups of LaBia and Penises, watch Naked Attraction. And it's kind of clinical. It's in between. It is clinical. It's in between being clinical. Insexual? Insexual. Yes. Well, don't even know what that zone's called. It's in between. It is clinical. It's in between being clinical and sexual. And sexual. Yes. I don't even know what that zone's called. It's called the. Yeah. I don't

know. It's where they just zone in on certain parts. It's called the sectional. It's sex and clinical put together. It's the sectional. And they go section by section. They reveal the pelvis area first, man, woman, transgender, anything. Reveal that bottom layer first. Then they go up, do stomach. I think they do tummy and tits. I do torso. Torsho. So tummy and tits. And then they go to the face.

Yeah. It is just a fascinating show. And the only, it's a dating show where they have six contestants and one single person, six single people behind a screen, one single person in front of that screen and a host who guides them through these screens that go from the feet to the head and they just every question they come up a little bit further. And I like those girly hairs. Yeah.

Do you like girly hair? I do like girly hair. Oh, I got a pu- a poop. Is that what the guy said? I had a poop one time. it was stuck in my braces. This is a British show. Yeah. You're gonna love it.

Don't watch it around the children. So yeah, just watch it. It's watch it. It's fascinating. So, and all five seasons are up there. All five seasons. Oh my God, they are. Yes, all the seasons.

I found this show in Ireland one time when I was snowed in, and I just can't let it go. So I'm gonna go, you know I'm gonna be watching this show. I'm going now, dude. I just can't believe that I'm almost still so shocked that they show a penis. Like on this screen, the penis shows up as big as the TCB logo. They do. It's just a full penis. And who doesn't want to look a penis right in the eye. It's just full pelvis. Who doesn't want to look at that one eye jellyfish? There's all kinds out there. There are circumcised, uncircumcised, the whole nine yards.

Oh, guys, big one. And if there's all kind of penises, you should check the labias. There's all kind of those too. Oh my God. Yeah, tucked in, hanging out, all kinds of different ones. Anyway, we've gotten an extremely graphic on the show. It's part of the. Anyway, we've gotten extremely graphic on the show.

It's part of the reason we can't make any fucking money on this show. It's because we keep on talking about Dixia and Labia's, yeah, we're flagged. All right, so I thought I would review extreme cheap, cheap skates a best of. Like, they put together a best of and so I want to. For them. Yeah, they made the work easy for me. I didn't have to paste it all together. All right, so without further ado,

I was trolling on the internet. As you do. Yes, I do like to do. Hey you, my podcast friend. I just popped in to say that you are the best part of TCB. And to show our appreciation, we wanna give you a free WWFD sticker. It's the Whatwood Frankie Do sticker you've been asking for.

It's number four in our series of stickers and you get one just for being a friend of TcB. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, tell us you want to sticker and drop us your physical address. Those FedEx men will be at your door post-taste. We want to hear from you, your wild and wacky stories, dating disasters, ask TcB questions and now you can ask Brian's mom for terrible advice. Hey, I learned my terrible advice giving skills from someone and my mom is that person.

1.855 TCB 8383. toll free from anywhere in the world is where you can send us your questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas. It's a real live phone line where we actually respond. 855 TCB8383. At the commercial break on Insta and TCB podcast on TikTok. And please, do me one more favor. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe to that channel.

Morgan does a great job editing the videos to be released on the same day at Ayers here on the podcast feed. Now let's listen to a word from our sponsors who keep this rambling wreck fueled up and ready to rock. And then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. We're going to go back to Extreme Cheap Skates, one of the fan favorites, by the way. Extreme Cheap Skates, here's the best of episode, so we'll watch a couple of these and see what everyone's up to. Joseph and I have been together romantically for three years. And he just recently left. I love him.

He recently left, Monique, and one of the main things that keeps me away is her obsession with cheap and free things. And I really want to get him back. Losset? Well, then stop buying your underwear at the fucking consignment shop. I mean, I get this. I get this.

I understand the need to be frugal. And I have been broke as a joke for most of my life, including now. I have been broke as a joke for most of my life. So I understand stretching a dollar. I really do. But this kind of frugality is just like on a different fucking level.

Now my dad was really frugal growing up, and he had three girls and a wife. So we were spending money left and right. But no, there's an extra army crossover. Hold on a little. You cross on. Jilla's substitute teacher, Money Clukens, earns close to $2,400 monthly. But her decision to live on

only $600 of that has taken its toll on her love life. We were going to get married, but as of now, like I wouldn't because she needs to have more balanced priorities. Those were the good times. Those were the good times. They're showing a picture of them. When Monica took a bath at least once a week. Yeah, they're showing a picture of them. When Monica took a bath, at least once a week. Yeah, they're showing pictures of them in like a photo booth that the party had on. Yeah, when they're like young and having fun.

I have an obsession for free things. Cheep OCD. Cheep OCD, I like that. It's a new term. It's a new term. But I see how long it applies. Pretty soon there's gonna be an Instagram model with a nipple hanging out talking about my cheap OCD problem.

This is LA and everyone drives, but Tony has. The crab ordering is opposite. That's right. Well, I don't know. Then they could blame about it. You never know. I hardly drove it because it's too expensive. Other things won't be able to save a buck

are living in an apartment without a real bed at the moment. I need to blow air in my bed. I don't want to spend electricity. Come on. Oh, come on. I feel like you can have a mattress. You can have like, I just ordered something off Amazon to have an extra bed thing and it's like a futonny thing.

And if this, it was not expensive. Chrissy, telling you, I slept on an air mattress for two years. Same air mattress for two years. It was the worst. The air mattress. I loved it at the time, because I was just proud of myself that I had a bed that lifted up more than two inches off the floor. I'm blowing up the air.

And besides, it's like a workout. The fact that she won't take the step to put in real mattresses, she's blowing up an air mattress by mouth. That's ridiculous. That's really tough to do. That is one of the reasons that I broke up with her. Point noted, dude. Yeah, bro.

I think you're okay here, bro. I don't think anyone's faulting her. You're in the right. Yeah, bro, I think you're okay here, bro. I don't think anyone's faulting you. You're in the right. Yeah, you're in the right. But if I bought a bed, it would probably be about $1,000. I'd have to get movers. I've moved up.

Bed is not a thousand dollars. A mattress. It's a straight mattress. You get a mattress for $400. For like $200. Oh, a queen size mattress for between two and $400. Yeah. All-around Los Angeles looking for a better deal. So I keep all my belongings and boxes.

So that at a moment's notice, I can just up and go. All her stuff gets piled up in boxes and it gets pretty ridiculous. I check out to see if there is a cheaper place that I can live in than here. This is a great deal, but there's always something cheaper. With eight moves in the last seven years, Monique has saved over $7,000 moving her belongings herself. I can fit all that is. That is exciting.

Yeah, there is no moving is brain damage. There is no amount of money you could pay me to move seven, seven residences in eight years. OK, and she saved $7,000. $7,000. So $1,000 a year. I mean, that's just not worth it. No. I moved seven times in eight years, but it wasn't beat by choice.

It wasn't to save money because I'd just been released from some incarceration. My possessions in one car in less than 15 minutes. This is where I keep some electronic shoes close. Electronic shoes. It's kind of strange because this is like a hoarding slash. Yeah. It's certainly not as bad as I've seen some hoarding, right?

But you're right. She is hoarding. Organized hoarding. It's organized hoarding. It's expensive. And so is dairy. That's why eat raw organized. It's organized. It's expensive. And so is dairy. That's why eat raw vegetables. I don't have to cook it. No, energy is going into it. I'm alive. Yeah, a line. She's going to chew on a lime. She's like my eight-month-old daughter.

She's going to chew on a lime. Oh my God. She says there's, you know, I don't have to spend any energy cooking it. You also don't get any energy from a line. I don't have to refrigerate most of my stuff. One time she had me go to an orange grove to pick oranges because she wanted us to live on free oranges. Most of the contents of my refrigerator. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. She's got Pepto Bismill in her fridge. How did he propose?

I don't know. He obviously was, you know, guys will look past a lot. Oh, I can't. Guys will look past a lot. You know what I'm saying? He's getting that good pussy. He's got the guys will look past a lot.

But girls, they won't look past a fucking thing. Guys are blind as a bad. Girls, not so much. Gerator are non-perishable right now. It's completely dry goods. Monique only runs a refrigerator for seven hours of white shoes in our fridge. I don't know.

That's a little weird. Maybe she likes to have cool feet on. I don't know. I like my shoes cool. I mean, it kind of does sound good, but. Yeah, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm gonna start putting my shoes in the refrigerator. And why, how is that saving money?

I don't know, but a shoe refrigerator sounds great. That is like the, and it's the epitome of opulence. I have a shoe refrigerator. Keep my shoe cool. By conserving that energy, she saves $120 each year. Oh, she's not using the refrigerator for a refrigerator. She's using it in her storage. She says that she only keeps it on four hours a day.

Instead of brushing my teeth with toothpaste, I use a mint plant. This is my favorite little plant. It's so healthy for a person. I chew the leaves every day as part of my hygiene. I'll even rub it against my gums to prevent any bleeding and take off some plaque. And they shine up really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you say? I don't know.

What do you say? You ask you go back to the guy and you say exactly why did you even ask her to marry you? How did that happen? I just get to that point By giving up dental hygiene products money holds on to another 68 by giving up dental hygiene products. She also gave up her fiance Dollars a year some people think that my behavior is over the top, but I'm gonna do everything I can to win. I'm gonna do every thing I can to retire early, because I have heard about these extreme savings

situations where I then people retire with our 30 or something, but. But I think you have to have millions of dollars in the bank in order to plan on retiring at 30. Yeah, a lot of them. Even if you're using, you know, pine straw to wipe your ass or whatever she's doing. She doesn't seem like there she's saving for something specific. She's just saving. Yeah, she's just saving. How much money does she have in her bank account? That's what I know. Is this actually working? That's what I'd like to know.

It was a fact. Monique has been my first and only girlfriend, so I'm willing to give her one. Oh, no, that's not what you were supposed to be. That's my job. Yeah. It's like Ferris Bueller's Day off. Gamm's gonna have sex with someone and the first person who makes it happy is gonna fall in love with it and mayor.

For a chance. Well, I'm going to accept this challenge, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to break the bank. Joseph's first priority is a new bed, which has Monique on a hunt for an economical solution that can satisfy them both. He are going to a rummage sale at one of the schools that I substitute to teach at. How do they like a used bed? Yeah, nothing like a rummage sale. Sounds the word, it's in a garage sale. In the, in the, then diagram of sales

that are on the side of the street, you have like, I don't know, flea market at the top, then you have like antique sale, a state sale, garage sale, rummage sale falls at the bottom. Rummage. Yeah, rummage. Rubbish. Yeah, it means it's rubbish.

Rubbish, rubbish. Rommage, rubbish. Oh. They've rubbed my chains. Change. Nice. What do you want a bad word change? Well, yeah, of course.

Sale today. Ha. Ha. By the way, they're walking into an empty classroom right now. Uh, this is weird. What kind of sale is this? Is this rummage? Rummage.

Rummage. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of good stuff here. Quick question for you. The mattress is. So how much? They're $20 each. They're pretty messed up, Monique.

$20 for one mattress is just out of the question. What's your dream stuff on the mattress? It is alien sperm. From the teacher's alien fantasies, he's been working out in front of the classroom. I have no idea what the green stuff on the mattress is, but there's a lot of it, and it looks very green. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to get two of them for $8 each.

Two? Right. And she's literally paying for it in change. Yep. Wow. From a baggie. She just talked him down from $20 a mattress to $8 a mattress. She saved herself $24.

And then we'll get this mattress and you guys can get out of here. Yeah, she's quite the little horse straighter there. I'm looking for some fabric. Well, we've got lots of that. Tell me flat out, how much is that originally and you're seeing it's 50% off? Right, it's 40% off. So, that would be about 450. You try to go 50.

Yeah, she tried to go 50% off even though there's a huge sign in front of her that says everything 40% off. Well, I'm gonna need a bunch of them. So, 450 is gonna be a little high for what I have in my Oh, huh. Pack a book. Well, these are ones that are fairly old and I've had them for a while, so I could maybe sell them to you for $3 piece. I think I'm gonna need about six to eight of them. Oh my gosh, it's gonna be $18 to cover your brand new green mattress. Is that what she's gonna do as cover with fabric?

I assume that's what's going to happen. She should. This lady's all kind of wackado do. Can I get eight fabrics anywhere here for 1063? We have fabric for 40% off. Some of it's 50% off. None of that would do for her. She had to have the bargain. Can I buy your skin for two dollars? I'm making myself a person-sized blanket. I can put on my brand new Alien Giz mattress. In the century, I would give you six of these. Six is not bad for, you know, for 10, 63, that's the thing.

Yeah, I think she was being respectful, but she was not at all. At least the guy she was with. I think she was being respectful, but she was not at all at least the guy she was with. I think she was big respect. But she wasn't at all. Had some respect, you're paying about half what I paid for the product. So please don't give me any more shit on this. Oh, look at this lady. Good for you. Roberta. Yeah, she's telling her. She's saying, hey, listen, I've lived a lot more life than you have. And this is no way to act young lady. And by the way, what's all that green shit on your mattress? She was the cheapest customer I think I have ever encountered. I hope she never comes back. Hey, that's a way to impress her. That's a way to impress him.

I know that this cheapness, it runs deep in her and it'll be a hard thing for her to overcome. I called earlier and her wife said that she had some spare sheets. Spare sheets! No! No, no, no, no, no, no! She's at a motel. I don't even want the sheets that are on the nicest of the towels.

Do you know what I'm saying? I get worried, I'm concerned. ImoTel. I don't even want the sheets that are on the nicest of her tales. Do you want to say, I get worried. I'm concerned. I look under them. I make sure that there's no blood stains, just stains. I don't want to tell. No. No. Yeah.

I'm excited. I need a mention of price. It's just going to give them to us. What is that? These are the ones that have been recently murdered. I know. Would you like a bag? It's so ones that have been recently murdered. I know. Would you like a bag? It's so weird.

It's so weird. I hope it's not a bed bug. You don't have bed bugs here. Joseph, let's take the sheets. Well, thank you so much. And thank your wife. She's so kind. Now that she's tracked down cast-off motel sheets, Monique doesn't have to spend $25 on basic

linens. I think Joseph is going to love it. Yeah, but is she going to run the washer to actually clean them? Chrissy, I'm all kind of concerned about this lady. She's living in filth. Filth. I don't know what to say about that. I don't know, it really freaks me I don't know what really freaks me out actually

Whoa Check it out. Oh, yeah, oh Our lovely Mint plant that has a five-cent stick of incense in it Well I love lamb. Yeah The lightener room is smoking the laptop is a mac however. It's a Mac. She's got a Mac. Breath mint. Thank you. I've never seen you do something like this. The best thing less than $30 is everything.

Let's get sexy. It's time for sexy time. Let's get sexy! It's time for sexy time! Here, you giz next to this other, other giz staying already there. You know, we might have a chance together. No dude, you're just being cheap, that's it. You're being cheap, cheap, being cheap. Alright, we got more, we'll get it and do it, we'll get it and do it. I just don't understand, I don't get it, we'll get into it. Oh, I just don't understand.

I don't get it, I don't get it. I could never in my entire life go and buy a used bed. Not if I had any choice about it, I wouldn't buy a used bed. I mean, I think I would buy a used bed before I would do the metal sheet. Well, once you buy a used bed, I guess all the other stuff is out the window. Then you really don't care.

Yeah, you're breaking the fourth wall. It really doesn't matter. Alright, we want to hear your questions to TCB, ask TCB, but we want to hear them. We want you to be on the commercial break. 626, ask TCB3. That's 626. Ask TCB the number three. Call us, leave us a voicemail.

You might be on the commercial break, so if you don't want your real name used, then don't leave your real name on the voicemail. Please don't do that. Be smart. If you're... It can only edit so much. Yes, and don't worry. It's toll free.

So, you don't have to pay anything for it. It's just like the cheats. Tzvpodcast.com, all the audio, all the video, you can also get your free bumper sticker or sticker or refrigerator sticker. By the way, we're getting lots of people sending us photographs of them and their cars with what would Frankie do sticker on the back of them. We probably had, I don't know, 12 or 15 people send us pictures of the bumper sticker on the back of their car. Why are you shouting at me? What's that?

I'll show them to you. I'll show them to you after the show. I get sent them first because people think I care. You know, whatever. It doesn't matter. So go to the website, hit the contact us button, drop down menu, I want my free sticker and send us your address. We'll send it to you.

1-855-TCB-8383-1855-TCB-8383-TEXTUS. Your questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas? That's our general mailbox, so to speak. At the commercial break on Instagram, T-C-B podcast on TikTok. And please do us a favor. Go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. Subscribe to our channel. Like slash the commercial break subscribe to our channel like on the videos comment We would love it if you would watch those videos same day They air here on the audio feed fully edited Morgan does a great job so fucking funny. You're gonna love it YouTube.com slash the commercial break

Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all the money we can spend today I think so so but I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. And I'll say best to you. Best to you. And I'll tell you, out there in the podcast, universe best to you also. Until next time, Chrissy and I always do.

We must do it, and we will do. Say goodbye. Good bye. Good bye. MusicI'm a star