The Commercial Break - The Maid Of Dishonor!

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

The wedding night is supposed to be a special night of love, lust and passion. But sleeping with the Maid of Honor will not get you the desired results! Lasy writes in to discuss her wild night at a friend's wedding . It's the gift that keeps on giving...a crazy wedding night! Spiderwebs are everywhere! Blue the dog is rolling around in carcasses NyQuil chicken is not a thing...is it?? "I will pee on your grave!" is more than just a saying to one couple Lady is a fan of the show and has a story to tell... The Maid of Dishonor admits to her sins and tears the wedding apart Billy the groom sounds like a real charmer! In life, all is well that ends well! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube American Musical Supply is offering $20 off any purchase over $100 Take a Listen to The Jordan Harbinger show! Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo New Episodes on Monday, Wednesday and now Fridays everywhere you listen to podcasts! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) This episode is sponsored by American Musical Supply. Go Here and use promo code TCB to receive $20 off a purchase over $100. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, they... Yeah. On this episode of the commercial break. There's a fucking dead baby mole on the ground and she's rolling in it. She's like rolling back and forth on the dead baby mole. Meanwhile, you had gotten close enough to smell. I know. I'm like licking her fur, trying to identify... What is that?

Taking up energy in space in yourself. Yeah, I know, I'm having a huge year space. I do this show three fucking times a week. And for every hour I record, there's six hours of preparation and studio technology that needs to be fixed. Quick, go pee on the grave. I could imagine this wedding. I'm imagining this wedding at like a holiday in somewhere.

Yeah, I'm picturing like a motel and a broom inside. Yeah. Really bright lights and, you know, a DJ in the corner playing his first generation iPod. You know, I'm just... So we're in Florida. So probably. Yeah.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Welcome back to the Commercial Break on Bryan Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy, totally best to you, Chrissy. And best to you, Bryan. And best to you out there in the podcast universe, How the hell are ya? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this! The commercial break, it's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed. In 15 seconds or less, the tcbpodcast.com website

is where you'll go to collect your earnings. You know what's the gift that keeps on giving? Frankie B. Spider webs. That fucking hate spider webs. Spider webs. That fucking hate spider web. Spider web. Do you know what a Jorrow spider is? Yes, it's the ones that are the ones.

Huge, like the ones the size of your hand. Colorful. They're like a yellow and green all over them. There was one at my grandfather's house one time, between two bushes. Oh, and they look particularly nasty, but they won't. Apparently, even if they bite you,

it's like, you know, you get an irritation. Yeah. And they won't, apparently they're even if they bite you, it's like, you know, you get an irritation. And they won't bite unless they're really prodded. By the way, they're very docile, apparently, but I don't want anything to do with them. And the Joros spiders have found that my house is the best place to live on the entire block because they are all over the cracks and crevices of the outside of the house.

And it drives me crazy. So now every time I take out my trash, or I take the kids out or I go do something back near the pool, I get Joro's spider webs all over my face in my head and it creeps me the fuck out. Am I the only one who thinks that every time you walk through a spider web there's a spider on your back?

Like I've got the spider on my back. Absolutely, it's somewhere in the vicinity. I hate it. I can't get it off of you. No, you can't. They're really good at doing what they do. They're really good at making that I try and pour. I spray it with water. It doesn't matter. They don't go away. They never go away. You have to live with the joros. Or I can get some insecticide and kill those little sons of bitches.

But I know that they're probably eating the things that I really don't want in the house like roaches and ants and fleas and stuff like that. Of course, Blue's bringing those in on a daily basis. So there you go. She's something. I told like that. Of course, Blue's bringing those in on a daily basis. So there you go. She's something. I told that dog. I said, why don't you go outside and take a wall and stroll down the street. Go for a run up street.

Go for a run down the street. Chase that truck, Blue. Get it. We love you. Right home. Send your post card. I don't know what to do with that dog. I don't know. So the other that dog. I don't know.

So the other I know the other day she comes in the house and she smells like a hot bag of ass. I mean, this dog. Her and Nico now. I mean, this this dog smells like, you know, I don't know, like to really sweaty human beings making love. And I was like, I know her and Nico. And I was like, we already have one stink bomb

walking around the house. We don't need two. We're gonna have one dead dog in the house. We don't need two smelling dead dogs in the house. And so I'm trying to like identify where this stink is coming from, because she usually doesn't smell. And it's coming from like her gulet area, like right around her gimlet, the giblets,

whatever you call it, the dingus, the dangus, I'm not sure. The rooster thing. The rooster neck. Yeah, it's coming from a rooster neck. And so I'm like, oh, blue, what is that? How do you smell that gross? Like over the last couple days, you just kind of grossed out like that. She doesn't need a haircut.

So I thought, maybe she just got like, she got wet or some, you know, drinking water and the hair got in there. Well, I'm out there the other day and I'm fucking on a phone, calling Blues right behind me. And I see blue rolling around out in the grass, like a crazy person. She's just like doing rolls back and forth across the wall. Yeah, it's like, what do you do? She's literally like rolling on her side back and forth.

And I'm like, look at the fuck is going on out there. It's a weirdly strange behavior for this dog. I live in her best life. I guess so. So I go over there. There's a fucking dead baby mole on the ground and she's rolling in it. She's like rolling back and forth on the dead baby mole. Meanwhile, you had gotten close enough to smell.

I know. I'm like licking her fur, trying to identify. What is that? Is that old potatoes? What is that? Is that a rapist? What is that? Is that a rapist? What is that? It's a dead mole.

It's a dead mole. Right. I'm like, Bluhr. Did you kill it? Or did you just find it and decide to roll in it? It's the grossest thing I have ever seen. And so I immediately put on gloves, and I brought her inside like she was toxic.

And I put her in the fat. And she, I filled the bathtub up like halfway. And I just started rolling her around in the water. She, yeah, she hates it. She's like a cat. She hates the water. Nico will just stand there because I don't think he thinks he has any choice. He's like, oh, this feels nice. Is this when I go?

Nico. This this my time? Oh, poor Nico. Poor Nico. We're not going to be laughing two, four, six months from now when it's all said and done. Poor guy. Yeah, it's coming close. Hopefully he lasts through Halloween. I go to the fucking vet.

I heal last through Halloween. He'll be here six years from now. I know it. He's just keeps on kicking. He's getting skinnier and weirder and smellier as we go on. But I just like, you got to love him because he's such a sweet dog. He's very sweet. Yeah, even though he's a ghost dog, he's like Casper, the friendly ghost. He just keeps on walking. So I take him to the vet the other day and I'm

like, Hey, it's clear. Like he's got the doggy dementia. He won't leave my side ever. He's always right. I take one step backwards. He does too. One step forward He's always right by my side and that's it for dogs. There's a couple of clear signs of dementia They get confused when they're outside like they don't know why they're there They start spinning circles. He's been doing that for six months. Yeah, he's they start getting really close to you Because it's one thing they can identify with and they're scared of being someone else they get nervous Sometimes he won't go outside. He's like scared, and there's no particular reason. It's not thunderstorm or anything like that. So I take him in and I say, and now he's having a hard time laying down because his hips and he's looking really skinny because

he's having a hard time eating. And I'm like, hey, Doc, you know, so I've been through this a number of times, the dogs. And they say that people who have been through this process with dogs do it quicker because they know they don't want to see the dog suffer. That's right. The first one, you just take it straight to the end. You're like, no, I'm going to do whatever it takes. Exactly. And then the next one, you're like, hmm, wait, let's not go through all the drama. He's going to suffer. Let's just do what we got.

Yeah, I grew up with animals and dog and cats and it's, yeah. Yeah. I want you to do it. Once you've done it one time, then you just know. Like those old Western guys, you take the horses out back and shoot it when you've got a pimple. You know, it's like, oh, well, he's dead. So I take him to the vet and I'm thinking, in my vet's wonderful.

So I'm thinking like, my vet's gonna, he's gonna tell me. He's gonna be like, but I love you because you're there all the time. Oh, fucking a right, dude. My pet insurance, my pet insurance hates us. They have been trying to find a reason to kick us off that policy for years.

And the reason is Nico and number two is blue. They must have a whole like, when they do company projections, they're like, well, we had a great third quarter, we got $23 million in new life insurance policies, but we lost a million. Why do we lose a million? Well, there's, let's look at this pie chart here. Nico, the ghost dog, and then 25% is blue.

Yeah. We spend so much money on those dogs. And so I take them in and I'm like hey doc here's a situation And he knows he's seen me go, right and he's like well Yeah, he's probably that teeth that mouth so we're probably gonna Well, I probably want to put him under and pull those I'm like he has two teeth left You want to and you want to give the dog the indignity of pulling the last two fucking teeth? Let's give them some teeth. Like let's just leave them like the one or two teeth right now.

No, we have to put water in the food so we can like, swap it up pretty soon. I'm gonna be making the dog smoothies for breakfast. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. Even the soft food is like, he really has to have like, it's like, I'd be liquid basically. And that's part of the reason why he's skinny.

It's because he can't eat anything except for extraordinarily soft food. That makes sense, yep. And he started like begging, he's never been a bit beggar. And the reason why he's begging is because he's fucking hungry, right? And so we found a way to feed him.

Anyway, so I go to, and I'm like, hey Doc, I don't know, like putting the dog down. Is it time? Is it time? So I said, when do we start thinking about this? And he's like, well, let's start him on a doggy pain killer and we'll do a doggy anti inflammatory. We'll do a doggy anti confusion.

We'll do a doggy anti anxiety and then we'll give him two of these and three of those. And I'm like, you want to give the dog $700 worth of medications every month? Well, it would probably squeeze a few extra months out of them. Like squeeze a few extra months out of them. He's been dead for two years. Can't we just let them go? But I mean, I'm not the professional. Like, you know, I don't want to,

I just don't want to be that guy who like walks in and goes, well, time for the dog down. Like, you know what I'm saying? I did that with my cat. Do you just say I got to put them down? Yeah, it was after a while. I mean, she was, But your dog was, your cat was 36 years old.

But yeah, she lived for three cat lives. Yeah, yeah. Do you think I should just go in there? I don't know. I don't know her body to science. You did? Yeah. Good for you.

I'm going to do the same with Nico. I'm wondering if they're going to find out about that dog. Stog's been dead for 10 years. It's amazing. Yeah. Maybe I just have to go in and put my foot down and be like, I don't want the dog to suffer anymore. No.

He can't lay down, he's only sleeping, he's totally confused, he can eat. Yeah. I mean, he wags his tail every once in a while, but every time he wags his tail, it just makes the whole house stink. That's the goal. So what's a boy to do? Well, I don't know.

I don't want to let him go, but at some point you got to let him go. I'll be there for you guys. Thanks. Maybe I'll give him some nice, nice quilt chicken. Yeah, the knuckle chicken. Have you heard about this one?

Oh my God, I have no clue why anybody started this. I think you have to have a real dick in your ear in order to believe that Nike Quill chicken is gonna cure your cough. I mean, it tastes awful to begin with. Why do you want to put it on the chicken? Just put it in some prank like they're frying it. So listen, here's how it goes.

You take two pieces of raw pieces of chicken breast. Okay. And then you pour half a bottle, half a bottle of Nikew. I mean, I've drank Nikew. Yeah. When you're desperately sick. When you're desperately sick. And one time for recreational purposes,

because it was like when everybody was figuring out that Nikew could get you high, like, you know, Tussin DM or whatever it was. And it was disgusting. I mean, I hated it. I hated the way it made me feel. I don't know why I was doing it. I was, I'm too young.

Well, listen, first 30 years in my life or a little confusing, I'm not sure why I did anything. But you poured over the chicken half a bottle and then you fry it and then you cook it until the night quilt reduces into the chicken. It's so cramped. It's like a fucking flambé that's gonna kill you because the reality about, you're basically taking out all of the extra juice in the night quail and just leaving the highly toxic medicine

into the chicken. And if you were to eat one breast of chicken at a half a bottle of night quail and all the ingredients are just soaked into it, you would be fucked up for days. Yeah, right? I mean, the thing I read about it said don't do it. Yeah, I mean, I'm seeing that.

The, the, the, the, the, the, the, be fucked up for days. Yeah, right. I mean, the thing I read about it said, don't do it. Yeah, I mean, the truth is, it's like, I mean, I think this is gotta be a joke. Something for good hacks. Yeah, something for good hacks. Yeah, like cleaning the oven with vinegar. Vinegar, and that's a good one. Yeah, like what's another one? Yeah, there's all kinds.

Okay, there's all kinds. There's good stuff. There's good stuff. But this is a bad one. Bad stuff. Like a penicillin penne posta is not a thing. Oh, yeah. When you should be teaching the children,

meet Paul Morpheed. I mean, come on guys, it's like, it's gotta stop somewhere. This is not a brilliant idea. And I can't believe that anybody is actually doing this. It feels like a joke to me. And you know what does this? And I can't believe that anybody is actually doing this. It feels like a joke to me. And you know what does this? And I saw an interesting, you know, John Oliver,

does that show? Okay, so last week he did an episode about local news. And how local news for about 30 years, since the birth of eyewitness action news, cheap stories that proliferate these trends and these crimes that really aren't happening everywhere, but it makes you feel like it's happening everywhere. Like the multi-colored morphine fentanyl pills

that are being handed out as candy. I have not really the place. Why in the fuck would a drug dealer choose to give out his extraordinarily expensive fentanyl to children that are six years old? What's a wood benefit to what end? How can they afford it? John Oliver was right.

How can they afford it? But was right how can they afford it? But someone proliferates this and makes it a big deal and then it spreads like wildfire and every every parent believes it and they're all looking for Skittle colored morphine and their fucking kids bag. I have not worried about and I know drug dealers I'm not worried about them giving free fentanyl to my child because yeah, it makes no sense whatsoever You got to wait until they're all enough to pay for the rest of it, right? So fucking stupid. And this is a nightclub chicken, I think is another one of these things

that's getting just propagated throughout the universe when it has no reason to be propagated for the universe. One moron on TikTok did this because he thought it was gonna be fucking funny to put it on TikTok. It got a million likes and a 17 million views. No one else has ever done it. And yet the news just picks up on it like it's like everybody's doing night-wheel chicken.

No one does night-wheel chicken. It's like tide pods. Does anybody really eating tide pods? Does that really happen? Yeah, I don't know. And now it's so annoying because I can't get into the tide. I can't get into my fucking bag. I know, I have to cut it.

I leave it open. I'm like, the kids eat a couple of tide pasta. That's the price of admission. Well, if I get to do, if you're stupid enough to eat that tide pod sun, God bless you, I hope it tastes good. I mean, I'm just kidding, of course. I would never do that.

I put it up on a shelf that they can climb up there and get it, and that's a different story. Exactly. I'm going to go to my own a shelf. Yeah, I go into my mom's house the other day, and she's like, can you do me a favor? Can you open the tied pods? And I'm like, what?

And she's like, can you open the tied pods? I said, sure, mom. She goes, I can never get that thing open. No, you can't. And so she says, just open it. I go, okay. And then I go to put it back. And she says, no, no, honey, just leave,

throw away the top. And I'm like, throw away the top. Really, mom, you just want like tied pods open there? She's like, I can never open it. So I don't want it. It's so hard to be close. And so I get it. No.

100%. But I guarantee you that, I guarantee you that if they ran that story a million times, that for every thousand times that story was on television, there was like half an incident, right? We're like one child might have put it in his mouth and quickly decided that's not tasting good, and throw it away, not enough to get sick.

Now, if there is anybody who did this, then I feel for the parents of the child, but it's just these dumb stories that keep on getting, you know, run, yeah, night cool chicken is not happening. No one is eating nightkill fucking chicken. No, I mean Crackrace crispy treats now. That's a different story altogether. I've been making those in mind. Yeah, I give those are the kids every year I give those to the 21 year olds to show up. I'm like Stock on the door for trick or treat. Have fun kids.

We are coming up on Halloween. Yeah, have fun kids. Don't don't throw the eggs at my house. Thanks, just remember who gave you that sugary treat. Chrissy. Yes. Think about the person that you dated that you dislike the most.

I mean, the person in your life that you dated that you dislike the most. I mean, the person in your life that you had some kind of attraction to sexual, you know, interlude with. That you just dating boyfriend, super serious relationship, whatever. On the spectrum, but you dislike the most. Like when you think of them today, still makes your teeth grind.

It gets you right in your goal. Yeah. Right in your dingus. Okay. I'm at dingus. Yes. Now, imagine that person passes away. Okay. And for years, you've been telling Jeff, how much you hate this person. Okay. And Jeff decides, well, Chrissy, I'm going to, I'm going to make good on this. I'm going to make sure that you get your revenge on this person.

And Jeff goes, and every day, for seven years, he goes and he peas on the grave of the person who has passed away. What is? This really happened in New Jersey. I'm not even kidding you. That, then, does somebody need some mental help? Well, obviously.

So here's the story. Guy has a bitter, obviously, bitter divorce. It's like, and she gets laid to rest. And when she gets laid to rest, he finds out where her plot is and he goes and every day for years, every day for 48 years. day for 48 years. What 48 years? That's what it said. I don't know that the story was in a legitimate newspaper. They he goes and he pisses on the grave. No, I guess not. Every day. Never left down. What they do is they buy tickets back in the

morning and then they fly back out. Just to get it in. I did that once for a doctor's appointment. I had to go to the doctor. So I flew out where I was going and in the middle of the trip I had the doctor's appointment. So I flew back for the doctor's appointment and I flew back. It was a whole fucking fucked up situation. But the doctor's like you get an appointment and then if you try and change your appointment

they're like, oh yeah, I see a 17 months from now, right? And I was like, I can't do that. I gotta take care of this immediately. I gotta ping this in my dingus. And I gotta, I gotta figure, I gotta low T. I gotta low T. Why is it 1000? Why is it 3000? So this guy's been pissing on the grave for 48 years.

Things extreme. So the family of the woman is like, they start noticing that this guy, well, this guy took it up a notch and he started pooping on the grave, not even kidding. He started pooping on the grave and then he was like leaving it in bags like on the grave. He was leaving shit on the grave. So the family of the woman started to notice and the first time they caught it, they were like, wow, that must have been like a homeless person, you know, they just had to go to

the bathroom or whatever and just misplaced this. By the third time it happened, they were like, no, this is fucked up. And they start, they put cameras, they watched, and they saw that their moms, ex-husband was pissing and shitting on the grave of this woman for years. That's some hatred in your heart. Are you kidding me? That is insane. Imagine how, now I want you to think back about that guy that you dislike so much, the person that really tore your heart apart. Yeah.

Would you take it to that extreme? No, I forgave him a long time ago. Sorry. Doesn't make my story any better, Chrissy. Just to play along a little bit. Commercial break, no one takes any of this seriously. They're not coming to us for the news, Sorry. Doesn't make my story any better, Chrissy. Just to play along a little bit. It's a commercial break. No one takes any of this seriously. They're not coming to us for their news that I just everything.

I can think of the person that I dislike the most. Yeah, I can too. Yeah, you probably dislike her too. I'm sorry. We thought it was like her the most. Well, I can't, I don't think I'd ever do that. No. No, no.

I let it go. Yeah, you let it go. Yeah, you let it go. And it's taking up energy and space in yourself. Yeah, and then I don't have energy or space. No. Yeah, I do this show three fucking times a week. Exactly. And for every hour I record, there's six hours of preparation and studio technology that needs to be fixed. Go pee on their grave. That's awful. I could think of like moment. Was there like a repercussions? Oh, of course, they arrested the guy and they called him and they

arrested the guy. Yeah, I mean, but here's the thing is that what was the most fucked up about this story is the fact that the new wife of this guy was sitting in the car almost every time they saw him do this. So my suspicion is my suspicion is is my suspicion is, is that she was the one that was poking him along. Like, you know, I want you to go piss on her great, like, you know, Jesus, she fucking, you know. Maybe they were giving her alimony or something

and that really pissed her off. I mean, I could think of a few people who are giving alimony checks and every time they write that check, they like to piss on that check. Yeah, no, it's mad name. For sure. But, you know, I just, I can think of a-

That's taken too far. You think of a few moments in the relationship when I probably would have been upset enough to do something silly, but I can't think like actual, no. You know, pissing on someone's grave. Once they're dead there, like what else is there? Well, right, they're gone,

like it's not hurting them anymore. What am I gonna do? Yeah, how much do I have they're gone. Like it's not hurting them anymore. What am I going to do? Yeah, how much do I have to go? I guess it's kind of a saying though, like I would piss on your grave. You know, is it? Yeah, it's the same. Is that a thing?

Yeah, because the Irish people did that a lot. My folk, my people, they were fiat graves. If they didn't like you, that was a thing, you know? Okay, well, yeah, but just back in the day before you could post something on the internet. Or make a video like Frankie B does. Talking about jokes. I bet he would piss on some people.

Oh God, Chrissy, it is just like, he is one second away on that last episode we did. He is one second away from saying this lady's name. Yeah, he was hot. He was so fucking hot. His face was red, his neck was red, even redder. He was charged up. I know.

It's normally a red leathery ball. And he really got charged up. He was fired up. Never seen him scream at the party girl. Party girl. He's a party girl. What are you thinking? And then guys, if she continues,

if she never introduces you as her boyfriend She always says you guys are just friends Likely you're not you're not in the zone guys. You're not in the zone. Let it go Maybe you should take that advice. Yeah, thanks for the tip So the TCB hotline and email has been a flutter as it always is. And so we ring, ring, ring, ring. We always get. We always get. I'd like to hear that.

Please, people keep it coming. Yeah. People like to write us in. And they, they, we're now have kind of got this, the ball rolling of people sending us stories and asking for advice and all this. Like ask T.C.B. Tell your, you know, Taddle Tail Friday's whatever, whatever you want to to call it Whatever name we've given it that we didn't get a tattletail Friday, so whatever day we gave it that we never stuck with right?

Shades of all of time Hey, everybody. It's that time in the commercial break when we take a short commercial break You know the drill by now, so I'm not gonna drag on DCBpodcast.com is where you go if you want to watch any of the videos or listen to any of the audio of our entire library. Hit the contact us form and email us content ideas, questions, concerns or comments. 661-237-8296-661-best2yo. Send us a text message, it's not a spam text message line, we will reply.

youtube.com slash the commercial break is where you find our video version. Not a spam text message line, we will reply. us on your favorite podcast player and know that we're grateful for every one of you. Now let's hear from those sponsors and then we'll quickly be back to this episode of the Commercial Break. Hey everybody gotta let you know about our sponsor American Musical Supply. We're a musical household here at Casa de Green and that means lots and lots of instruments laying around the house, drums, guitars, piano, you name it, we've got it. And that's why I'm excited to partner with American Musical Supply because they have everything our family will need for our growing musical appetites. American Musical Supply stocks the latest and greatest gear from today's top brands.

Everything for beginner to season professionals, everything from the podcaster, that's me to recording enthusiasts, that's me, guitarist, drummer, vocalist, DJ, and much more, all of it is me. And American Musical Supply has the best payment plans too. They approve more people, and they don't require me to open up a credit card. They just use the one I've got. So go to americanmusical.com and use the commercial break

promo code TCB to receive $20 off your purchase of over $100. That's americanmusical.com and use the commercial break promo code PCB to receive $20 off that first purchase of over $100. We've been checking out the website and I think the next purchase around this house is gonna be a good pair of earplugs AmericanMusical.com use the code PCB and thanks to American Musical Supply for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break So, you know, it's usually right to story, you have paragraphs, right? She just wrote kind of the, I guess she's given me like the reader's digest version of

this story. You put it together. But I think it is worthy of getting some airtime here on the commercial break. If you remember, we had a story a couple months ago, when a guy had his wedding, the mother and lost seduced him. He was in a moment of weakness, he got naked had his wedding, the mother-in-law seduced him. He was in a moment of weakness. He got naked and she took pictures and showed it to everyone in the next day.

Right, she seduced him because she wanted to bust him. She didn't want the daughter to marry. She had no interest in him. She was really upset. Purposely seduced, took pictures and then showed her daughter. And then showed her daughter to the next morning before the wedding and it never happened. Never went down. It's a matter of fact, they sent them away in the new.

They did. Well, they were all on the porch waving goodbye. It's cold. Cold. It's so cold. Okay. So we have another wedding story. So lady says, best to you, Brian and Chrissy,

oh, best to you. Been enjoying the show lately. I'm a rather new listener about three months in, and I've been listening to some of your back episodes, and I heard the story about the boner pick wedding, she calls it. And I think I've got a story that one ups that. I'd like to share it with you, best to you,

love you, whatever. Okay, here we go, ready? I'm gonna try and weave this out of some bullet point. So excuse me, if I, you know, this is not word for word verbatim. I'm just kind of trying to pull it. Give it to us. Okay, so Lady goes to a wedding of her best,

or one of her friends, she doesn't say best friends, but it sounds like they're good friends. Casey. So Casey's got a wedding, she gets invited to this wedding and they're ready to rock. She is not a bridesmaid in this wedding. It's apparently a very small wedding. There's just like two or three bridesmaids. There's a maid of honor. And the maid of honor

is supposedly Casey's best friend. Casey is the girls getting married to Billy, okay? Okay. So Billy and Casey, rather small wedding, kind of an intimate affair. She says that her friend Casey is a rather needy person and that the relationship between her and Billy has been tumultuous at times and that lady believes the reason why is because Billy's feeling a little bit smothered. They argue a lot, sometimes in public, sometimes when they're out with their friends, they have disagree. We all know this couple.

We've all been this couple. We did wait. We did wait. We did wait. We did wait. We did wait. We did wait. We did wait. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do.

We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do.

We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do.

We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. I'm fast enough, but you just can't get back to your fast. That's exactly one of those really. You love hate, the true definition, but you know, opposites track and fire and ice. I'll haul into it. Oh, yeah, put a lot of a couple of lines of cocaine here and there. And the whole thing goes to hell and a hand basket. All right, so you get the picture of the relationship between Casey and Billy. Casey and Billy are kind of fire and ice.

They're not always getting along well. It's difficult to be around them sometimes and some of the friends have even approached Casey and said, hey, listen, this is probably not a good idea. Yeah, are you sure you really want to get married to Billy? Casey assures everybody. Yes, I want to get married to Billy. We love each other.

Well, she's the mother in one, so she yes. She wants it. Yeah, I mean, I get, you know, but maybe that's one side of the story, right? If you don't know Billy all that well, you never know. She's never story. But apparently it's her kind of needy hovering nature that is causing a lot of the drama in the relationship.

As a matter of fact, Lady goes a step beyond to say she believed Billy to be a rather good guy. Yeah, steady job. He seemed like a nice, decent, honest person. He was always polite and well-appropriated when they were together, unless she was fighting with Casey. Right. And then she said on occasion, it got nasty. Ooh. Okay. So I can see this all going down in my own life.

Nasty in a bad way. Nasty in a bad way. Like, you know, yelling, screaming, poking, drinks, throwing. I don't know that, but I'm just, I'm filling in the, I only have bullet points here, guys. I'm trying to color commentate, okay? So I can imagine how this goes, I've seen these relationships in my own life. Like, of course. And then you go, what the fuck are you doing exactly? Why go through all this drama? Why just find someone it's easy with?

Yes. Okay, wedding week approaches and everyone travels to the wedding location. Well, I think that it was just a backstab here for a second. I think people think in their head that they've got this idea of where they should be at certain points in their life and that kind of thing. And so it's, you know, you're trying to make it work. I think if you pulled my first wife, I think if you asked her, she'd probably think similar

thoughts that I thought about my first marriage, which was maybe we should have broken up and we decided to get married instead. Because we didn't know where else to go with it, right? It was like, well, I think we want to be together. And we're living together and we've been together for a long time. And isn't this kind of the natural next step? It's just to get engaged.

Even though we probably should have taken a long hard look at the situation and said, and it's maybe not a great fit. Yeah. You know, both of us were, I think we're fine human beings, but it just wasn't a great fit. Now I know your ex-wife. She's beautiful. I mean, amazing. Chrissy likes her better than she likes me. Yeah.

She was. She was a lovely human being. Yes, lovely. But, you know, we were young and dumb and we thought that was the right thing to do. That's the next step. Yeah, as a matter of fact, it's a better, I mean, I don't get it all,

that's, that's my, that's her business. But let's just say that we all Not all but a lot of us when we're young I think that they we think there's like steps to this process and you get to that step and you're like oh that will fix things It never fixes things now you can't fix things You can't fix anything You're doomed to fail if you get married You can't fix anything.

You're doomed to fail if you get married. You take things for face value, take the other person for face value because for you to try and go in and fix somebody, it's not good. That's right, 100%. If you're marrying a guy and he's like sleeping with other women, it's likely it's not gonna change.

Exactly. I don't get into all the details. Yeah. It's gonna stay simple. Oh, for once, that's gonna say so. For once, I'll shut my mouth. So they get to the location on the wedding week and it's not exactly a fine start to the wedding week as Lady comes in and immediately there is arguments

between the groom and the bride. And actually, the bride's mother had to step in and calm her own daughter down from a particular argument. So she gets into town, you know, or gets her to wherever the wedding location is, stomping around, pissing, moaning, yelling, screaming, all this other stuff. And apparently alcohol is fueling some of these, some of these discussions. And the mom of the bride, her own, her own mother had to step in and be like, hey, you're out of line here, right? Right down.

Right down. So, lady and a couple of the bridesmaids, back chatter, and they decide they're going to get together with Casey one more time, one last ploy, one last ploy, right? And it's the maid of honor, indeed, that starts this whole conversation that says we should have an intervention We should talk to Casey. She should not be getting married to the sky Can I just pause here and say have you ever done that before like I would be mortified if Before I got married somebody came to me and said yeah

Do you remember the story about me and being in the bridesmaids house that one time? And they got that whole argument and I like pulled the guy aside, like they wanted me to say something. And I told, we all said to these people, you should not get married to him. Yeah, that's right. Like we'll have the reception, let's party. And that's just not party. I had a therapist once until I made the tell me that.

Yeah, I mean, it's gotta be a really difficult situation to be in. Yeah. And for to be on the receiving end too, everybody is coming to you and saying, and you really need to rethink this. If my father or any of my brothers came to me and said, this is just like a no-go, you should never get married to this person. I would take a step.

I would take a step. Yeah, I would take a step. I find my dad to be a rather pragmatic guy. He doesn't get involved in my personal life. He loves my current wife, which is part of the reason why I have no, like my dad's a good, great judge of character. If he said to me, this is problematic,

then I would put it down immediately. Immediately, I would be like, okay, let's just go to therapy for a couple of months and we'll see how this works out. But I can imagine how much drama this is causing on the week of the wedding. Yeah, the wedding. And the maid of honor who knows this girl the best is the one who's like, hey, we really got to have this intervention.

Okay. Okay. So they staged this intervention and Casey won't back down. She's like, no, we're meant to get married. We're supposed to be together. This is my man. And I'm getting married to him. I'm paid for everything.

Yeah, I've paid for everything you guys are here why not so with no luck they'd make the best of a bad situation and okay never mind yeah okay never mind sorry about that yeah okay cheers then congratulations hey k c it's me j Jenny. Yeah, listen, I saw Billy with his dick in a goat yesterday, and it's a little strange to bring it up this soon before the wedding, but I just thought you might want to know that your Billy is a Billy goat fucker.

So you probably don't want to get married to him. Nope, nope, he's my man. Okay, well I'm glad we had this talk, and I'm really looking forward to the wedding. I know, right, like, I'm super excited married to him. Nope, nope, he's my man. Okay, well I'm glad we had this talk and I'm really looking forward to the wedding. I know, right. Like, I'm super excited about my dress. What are you wearing? Okay, then.

Exactly, that's just a little weird after that, right? Sounds like Casey might not be a hundred percent aware of what's going on around her. Okay, so, wedding day comes and at the altar, everyone's at the altar, everyone's at the altar, everyone's getting ready to get married and the bride starts to cry, as brides often do. I should have a few tears in my second wedding, right?

Okay, so now you're shedding wedding. But the maid of honor is also crying hysterically. Okay, we're just making maid of honor, right? Is crying hysterically. Crying more than the bride does is what lady says. Okay. At the reception, there we go to a small intimate reception

with less than 100 people in the room. And at some point, the made of honor is speaking at a small table in the corner with the groom in a very heated fashion. So maybe now the made of honor. My first thought is the made of honor is taking it upon herself to get in the corner with the groom in a very heated fashion. Oh, oh. So maybe now the maid of honor. My first thought is the maid of honor is taking it upon herself to get in the middle of this.

Oh, well, I was thinking there's something going on between the groom and the maid of honor. Well, the maid of honor was visibly upset. She stormed off at one point and never returned to the reception. Casey in a drunken state decided that she couldn't go any couldn't go forward in the reception if her maid of honor Wasn't with her and needed to find her at the hotel I mean that's usually a best friend. Yeah, that's your best friend. What happened to my fucking best friend fighting with my husband And then you ran off what happened, right? A search party is gotten together just like that just like

Search party has gotten together. And Casey just said, remember that? Yes, it was searching on the beach. Oh, sad, bad, yeah, bad, the dangling chat. They were searching on the beach. They found them. They found them. Fucking the, fucking the bride, wasn't it? Or something?

Fucking the bridesmaid or something? Oh, it was a good one. So the made of honor storms off the bride and drunk and state decides to put together a search party. The bride was gone for almost an hour while we were sitting down at the reception and the ground. What's Casey doing? Is he enjoying the stay? No, Casey is gone. She's gone. Yeah, she's, she's gone for almost an hour. She's saying she went to go search. Oh, okay. Casey didn't want to go search for the president. I'm at lady. Oh lady

Oh, he's just hanging out. Yeah, I guess I mean Yeah, I guess Yeah, sure, it's a little dramatic, but you know, hey, the bride's drone. Yeah, find her. Yeah, they're hopefully they find her drinks only till nine so we've never get drinking. I Love this song I mean listen, it's not unusual for a little drama to have an ad-a wedding. I mean, usually the bride isn't going for an hour, but okay, she's going for an hour. And Billy, this entire time, is apparently sitting and stewing at a table

while some of his friends try and console him about whatever has happened. But he's mum, no words. I won't say anything, he's just visibly upset. It's how this is told to me. Boarded. The bride came back into the reception, walked directly up to the groom, screamed in his face and slapped him on the chin. Uh-oh.

She then turned around and screamed to the rest of the room that he had been cheating with the maid of honor. I saw that coming with how hard she was crying. No, that was, I, at first, I was reading the bullet points, I was like, you get what's going on here. But, but now I understand. Uh-huh. So apparently, the maid of honor leading the charge to stop this wedding from happening. She found her moment and she tried to stop it. She tried in her own way to say, this guy is not for you because he's been putting his dick in me the entire time.

That's crazy. That's insane. Can you imagine this? What are you aware about those with the best friends stuff? I mean, it's just the worst of the worst. And it happens more than you think. It's crazy. It's insane. I of the worst. And it happens more than you think. It's crazy. It's insane. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. I know. I won't get into every nitty-gritty detail. But I have bendowedings where inappropriate things have happened. I've been to a wedding where the bride in a drunken state, right? Got a little too close for comfort. Let's put it that way. Now, obviously, you know, being the gentleman that I am, I slept with her and then left the wedding. So I was there was an e-drama. Right. No, but you know, I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should go back to it. Magnetic. Tism. I used to. You still got it. Let's take it away.

Let's see if Brian's got it. Let's crash away. Brian can sleep with the bride. Astrid, we'll be back. Yeah, Astrid is for the show. It's for the show. You think I like this? You think I like being a part of the commercial breaks?

Stupid plot. You get me to sleep with a beautiful bride? Huh? I don't know what you're so upset about. I'm the one that's got to stick my dick in her. I gotta go back on the commercial break and talk about it. I'm the one that's gonna look like an asshole, not you. It's research. Yeah, it's research. But we didn't get that we didn't get great audio on the first one. So we got to get to do it again. Right. But we didn't get that we didn't get great audio on the first one so we got to get to it again right

Astrid would not suffer me for one minute. Oh no, I'd be she'd be gone This caused mask chaos at the reception as you can imagine KC Casey stormed off and the father of the bride directly stepped in the groom's face. Punched. Screaming and yelling. No, it doesn't seem to think about it. Got physical. The groom just stood there silent with nothing to say. He had no idea what to do quite frankly.

He looked very scared. We all charged back to the bridal suite after Casey. She was a hot fucking mess. I mean, obviously, right? She just found out out that her not only this guy that she you know is married just married just married ten minutes ago is sleeping with her best friend for a period of time This had been going on by this bullet point for almost a year a year Yeah, that wasn't a one night. No the entire time they're engaged, he's sleeping with her best friend. This is fucked up, man.

Yeah, you're right. This might one up the other story. Like, I mean, having a boner around your, around your wife's, or soon to be wife's mother-in-law, is bad, but nothing happened between the two of you. You just got a little frisky and you got a little too excited. But this one where you're actually sleeping with the maid of honor. That is crazy. No conscience.

No conscience whatsoever. The groom stood there with silent with nothing to say. We had no idea what to do. We all went back to the bridal suite to try and console Casey. She's a hot mess. And eventually the maid of honor ended up calling Casey. Casey puts it on speaker phone and we all heard the conversation. It was awkward to say the least as everybody decided to chime in screaming and yelling about what an asshole this girl was to Casey.

But Casey took the side of the maid of honor and decided this was all Billy's fault. That Billy had started this and that she had succumbed to his, I guess, his magnetism. Yeah. Does it sound like Billy's a real charming? I can imagine this wedding. I'm imagining this wedding at like a holiday in somewhere.

Did I ever say, yeah, like a motel six. Yeah. Yeah. Really bright lights and you know, a DJ in the corner playing his first generation iPod, you know, I'm just so probably. So a plan is hatched between a plant as hatched between the made of order and it's Casey. I'm glad that they decide they're packing up their shit. They're getting in the Uber and they're leaving the hotel. Yeah, yeah, I'd be out of there.

Unfortunately, Billy is outside smoking cigarettes with some people from his own family. They're like Billy. I know. So like, hey, Billy, uh, listen, I love you, bud, but I'm going to need to take like a two year time out from making out with you. And we what's happened in cryptid text message, you mind? I'm going to unfriend you from Facebook, but we're still friends.

An Instagram probably not even Instagram. TikTok right? You can follow me. How's that? You can follow me. I'm cool with that. I bet he needed a cigarette. Yeah, oh man.

If I didn't, I would start smoking again in a minute. Even if I was in the room, I'd start smoking again. I'd be like, wow. Give me one of those. Yeah, give me one of those. I feel like I just had sex with the prize made. This is awesome. All right. I would love it.

Yeah. I would be like, this is great. I'm gonna get a great story for the commercial. Right. Yeah. Uh, so. What they hatched a plan. Yeah, they hatch a plan.

They're gonna get it. They're gonna get packed their stuff. They're gonna get into a boat. They are going to go off to wherever they're going. Doesn't really say here. Meanwhile, Billy's out front of the hotel smoking a cigarette's in a world full of shit with some of his family members.

As the bride steps outside, Billy approaches her to have a conversation saying, I'm sorry, can we talk about this? Can we talk about this? Let's just talk. This is when the second smack happened, but it didn't come from the bride. It came from the maid of honor.

Oh. She smacked Billy. They jumped in the Uber and off they went. The groom had slept with the bridesmaid and that was that. A quickie divorce would be had in the next three weeks. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Yeah. And still to this day, Casey says she has not spoken to Billy about anything of substance, only shit regarding the divorce and how we separate and how they separate the house. She claims she will never speak to him again. We have some friends that are still friends with Billy and apparently even though the maid of honor drove off with Casey, she continued the relationship with Billy for the next six months. Some people even thought they might get married though that never happened. Eventually the two of them broke up. You can imagine how

uncomfortable this was for people who are friendly with both parties, but I thought I'd share my story with you about the one time at the maid of honor, tried to break up the wedding because she wasn't love with the groom. Yeah, that is wild. That is a wild story. That's a wild story. Thanks for the bullet point. I prefer the paragraphs, but hey, I'm I've did fine coloring in my own stuff. Yeah, I got an imagination. I could figure it out I mean, I don't even know like what do you say? Let's say your friends with Billy. What do you say to Billy at that moment? What were you think? I mean, there's a million and a half women within earshot

I was like you could have slept with anybody. Anybody, and you slept with the future made of honor at your wedding? Well, the best thing thingy happens, it does more than you think. I know personally people that it happened to. Yeah. And it's horrible.

I dated a friend one time. Like, I dated a friend right at, I mean, you know the person. we're like always getting together breaking up breaking up making up making up and the a friend Facebook me one time about a completely unrelated subject I made a post and she was like oh, I didn't know you were into this and I was like yeah, I'm into this and I'm into you Yeah, that's right. Oh, origami. Oh, right gamey That's right. Or a gummy or a gamey Was it not you're not gonna or something like the sex rope yeah Sex rope and she was like oh, I didn't know you're into this and I was like yeah And then it just kind of went sideways from there and so me and this the girl that I was dating

We're kind of in this always nobody was married. That's true. No, I was married. No one's getting married Yeah, no one's getting Thank God never any thought of that. Oh my God, Mary. Yeah. Thank God. Thank God. Yes.

Oh, man, can you imagine how different my life would be right now? I'd be dead. I'd probably be dead. You wouldn't be dead. We wouldn't be friends. Oh, you would have left me over that. I mean, I'd tried. Would you have gone to the wedding? I, eh, eh. Yeah, I knew you would show the wedding.

But you wouldn't have liked it. No. No. You guys, you and Rachel stood there. I would have cried. Yeah. I would have cried. No, he's going to die in that relationship.

I'm not right. If I hadn't already. If I hadn't died from the relationship yet, the wedding probably would have certainly, I can only imagine. I can only imagine. I don't think I really let. What a train wreck that would have been. Oh yeah, yeah. I don't think we would have ever made it

to the altar to be honest with you. No, you would not. No, no. No, we did it. We'd inevitably get in some argument. I mean, it's before we were supposed to get in there and they would have gone sideways. But I did, but there was a friend here or there, right?

And I know it wasn't the best judgment on my behalf, but sometimes you can't control who you like. And I never did it while I was actually dating someone else. the best judgment on my behalf, but sometimes you can't control who you like. I never did it while I was actually dating someone else. I was never cheated on someone with a friend. I still realize that I may have betrayed trust by hanging out with a friend, but I was young and dumb and that's the kind of thing that you do. Have you ever slept with a friend?

I've ever slept with a friend. Yeah, I mean, but yes, I have. A friend of someone you were dating. Oh, that friend. No, no, we were dating. If you were going like lateral, did you ever do a lateral move into a friend? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty shitty thing to do, actually. Wow, I mean, no one's married. Yeah. And it was a breakup a while back. Okay, a breakup a while back. And then a friend, and the same friend group.

Okay. We'll call it the same friend group. Okay, friend group. This was close, not close friend, but friend enough, right? In communication. Well, listen, and then there's been a few cousins and one time there was a sister. The sister one, dude.

I'm really close with someone who this happened to in their marriage, it was best friend marriage. Best, like, yeah. Oh, really? Cheating. So they got married. Yeah, two people were married. Yep.

Two couples. A man and a woman. Oh, oh, and they went intertwined. Best friend with the husband. Really? Yeah, like the best friend of the girl with the husband They were all good friends. You gotta be kidding me. Nope. Wow that is fucked up now that is fucked up That that'd be like Jeff sleeping with asterisk kind of thing. Oh, man. Oh, I'd lose my fucking shit. I'd be like

I'm not a violent guy, but that might set me up off. Oh yeah, that would be a really tough one. It's all a while. Oh, like a long time, long period of time. Like a sustained period of bullshit. Oh, how do you live like that? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I'd be like, motherfucker, what am I getting myself into?

I should just wake up after right now and tell her the whole thing. I mean, honestly, I honestly I you know they say that the guilt will kill you. The guilt will kill you. That's for sure. I just don't go there. That's right. You got any good stories about sleeping with your best friend's friend? Are you best friend? Are you best friend? You got any good cheating stories? That's what I want to hear now. I want to hear some cheating stories. Alright guys I'm calling you up from the bullpen. I want cheating stories. To 661-237-8296, you can text it to us. 661. The word best, the number two, y-o-yo, or you can send it to us at tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button. There's a little form. Just write

it out right there. And I will respond to you or someone will respond to you. And you follow up with questions or maybe try and refine the story a little bit. But send your stories and I want to hear your best cheating story. From you or about somebody you know, send it in, we'll talk all about it right here on the show. You can watch these full episodes at youtube.com slash the commercial break, full episodes a couple days after they air, clips every single day of the week, ahhh at the commercial break on Instagram Astrid is going to make a post Astrid's

going to make a post on that Instagram we have decided I love mine of the way side but you can still follow me if you'd like to follow Chris and follow with TCB Brian and I think it's Brian or so you'll figure it out go there and you'll figure it out we never post and that's part of the reason why we don't have any followers because we just never post. I mean, why would you post? Why would you follow a count that never does? I also have a TikTok account that exactly one follower. That's me. That's you. I do. And then I ask TikTok if I could do lives because I wanted to start doing some cool stuff with lives. said no no you're spam desktop metta user old white man desktop metta user no no we

don't want this shit on our platform guys like you the coven night pool chicken we're off it we're off it we're not about it all right all right all right so send in your stories. Thank you very much for listening. Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform Wherever you're listening right now, please hit this subscribe button So you never miss one of the six and a half million episodes that we put out on a monthly basis Yes And more because this is the ones we actually put out. Oh, yeah, we also record. Yeah, it took us two hours just to get to this point in the show. Ha, ha.

All right. You know how we do it? We don't do it very well. But you know what? We're not as good as the best. But we're better than most. There you go. I love that.

All right, I guess that's all I can do today, Chrissy. So I will say this. I will say that I love you. I love you, Brian. I will say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say this, I will say that I love you. I love you Brian. I will say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say we must say.

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