The Commercial Break - The Moon Dudes!

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

Ep915: Krissy & Bryan and discuss the Moon Dudes and the rocket ship to the moon! Also, Top Chef is a show that is never replicated often imitated...says Bryan.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

on this episode of the commercial break. They used the rocket, I guess, I don't know what you call them, like the... The balls? Yeah, the balls, the ball bearings. You know, the things that hang off the, yeah, it's all about balls. They use the nuts of the other one. You know those things that hang off the back, the rocket things. The boosters.

The boosters, yeah, the boosters. The things where the shit comes out, the fire comes out, right? They used three of them from the space shuttle. They just used them. They just repurposed them. And the fourth one was rebuilt from the shuttle. I don't know. I'm going and they're not even sure I'm going to make it.

And they're like, hey, we're using tires from the last car. I don't know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-hosts of this show. Chris and Joy Holtley.

Best to you, Chris. Bestie, Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. I think there's none of you. I did get the notification then. Yeah, sometimes people just pop right in and then sometimes, like, they pop in later. I don't know, I don't know how all that works. Whatever.

Anyway, the moon dudes made the moon dudes go. Did you see it? They're alive. Did you see it? Did you watch it? Yes. We watched it. Two hours of the countdown.

You know, that NASA channel is. It's really cool. Yeah, it really is. I've done this before. This isn't the first one I've watched on the NASA channel. where they've got all of the people, like, you know, three hours, four hours ahead of time, they've got the hosts who tend to be astronaut related or astronauts themselves. Yeah, astronaut experts.

Yeah. And then you're leading up to the actual launch, which is really a question mark until the very moment, right? It's, you know, there's all. Didn't they have the trouble with the toilet? They had trouble with the toilet. They had trouble with a battery. They had trouble with a sensor. They're talking about it the entire way.

They're being really transparent about what's going on and how they're communicating. So we're watching this the entire time. And I am just like the kids are talking and yelling and my brother and all this year. Everyone's, and I'm like, shut up. Let's watch them. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like, you know, here's what's going on, right? What happens?

What? The kids. The kids. I'm going to kill them. Oh, my God. They killed it. Oh, what? Ah!

They're done for. These kids. They love that thing. They do love this thing. You wouldn't even know. You don't even know. These kids love the megaphone. Oh, yeah.

I would love it, too. Of course. Here's how it goes. Ready? Damn fucking kids. I'm going to, I'm taking them out of school. I'm going to be sanding my deck for the next three weeks. That's right.

Yeah. They're like, uh, uh, captain, uncle. Uh, you know, we've got a C1.7. And I'm, and I'm like, oh, my God, they got a C1 sensor on the overload? Holy shit. And you're like, I don't know what they said it. I don't know what they said, but it really sounded important. What it really means is,

The shitter's backed up. Can we get a plunger? Plunder and the shitter? It's like a whole. They do a whole dance, but they say things in weird ways, and I love it. It just reminds me of all the movies that I just enjoy about space, like Apollo 11 and Apollo 13. Excuse me, excuse me, Paul 11, 13, not so much.

Contact is one of my favorite. Oh, contact is great. Uh-huh. Contact is great. We're going to see tonight. We're going to go see Project Hail Mary. Oh, yeah, I've been reading a lot about that. I'm very excited about that.

Yeah, we got some free tickets from a friend to go see a movie, which is a very kind gesture, knowing that we have so many children who can't ever go see a movie. But it's almost three hours long. But I really like the premise of this movie, and I'm hearing it's super spectacular. But anyway, so I'm watching this whole thing. They're going back and forth.

You know, they got this bus B overload and the sensor two down and battery overheating and nominal and all these words they're using. And I'm just glued to the TV. And it's just one image of this rocket just sitting there with smoke coming out of it. I know. I know. It's exciting. It really was. When I got in the car yesterday after we finished the show, I happened to turn it on NPR and they were talking all about it.

And it was very interesting. It's fascinating. It's like a whole, it's stages. So this is a whole thing that they already did first stage. Yep. Now this is the second stage and that's just to see if they can stay alive. Just get there. Yeah, go to the backside of the moon.

As they circle around, yeah, as they orbit. Yeah, I'm not volunteering for that job. Would you volunteer for stage two where we just want to see if we can keep you a lot? No, right. That's what I'm listening. I was like, really? They're like, yeah, it's just to see if they can say alive. So I'm trying to explain this to the children, right?

And two of them are older and one of them would have no idea what was going on. But one of them is really fascinated by the idea of the idea of space and space travel. And we always like to watch like videos of shuttles blasting, old videos of rockets and shuttles blasting. It's cool. I'm like here, this is called the Challenger. Watch this one, kids. It makes a big fireball. Oh, no. So I'm trying to explain. And they say, well, they're going to the moon for 10 days. And I said, they're not going to the moon for 10 days. It's going to take them 10 days to get there and back. And he said, well, no, my teacher told me it's going to take 10 days. And I said, no, they're not going to be on the moon. They're actually not going to the moon. They're going very close to the moon. They're going to be within 30 or 40,000 feet, which is really close, right? That's like an airplane flies. Yeah. And they're going to see a part of the moon no one has seen before. At the dark side of the moon. And they're going to scan it and they're going to, someone explained this to on the NASA channel, I thought that was a good one, is if you're going to go camping in a new spot, you've never gone camping before. You're not going to show up there at night and just hope everything turns out.

okay, you're going to look at Google Maps, you're going to hope that you're going to make sure there's water near or there's the things that you need. They are going to get prepared for the big, let's go to the dark side of the moon and see if we can find water, which then we can use for hydrogen, which then we can use for fuel so we can stop on the way to Mars, which is the whole goal. Love it. I love the idea of this. And while the moon feels like something you can reach out and touch when you're looking at it

at night, it is four fucking days away, traveling at 15,000. thousand miles per hour like a bullet it's crazy yeah that's so true and it's been a full moon recently like yesterday and today full moon so it makes me wish i had a fucking telescope that i could but i couldn't see anything anyway i'm too close to the city but it makes me wish i had a telescope because i'm sure some people i should look on youtube i bet there's people out there's going to be a stream of something yeah there's guys out there who are following the rocket as it heads off to the moon but they're going to use the earth's gravity and then they're going to slingshot over to the moon And then they're going to use the moon's gravity to slingshot back down to Earth.

Straight to the ocean. Yeah. Straight into the ocean. That's right. No soft landing for these guys. They're going straight into the ocean. What a pair of fucking balls on these people, man. I'll tell you what.

I just, I didn't know anything about anything about any of them until yesterday during the stream when I started to pay attention to the bios and when they were talking and their motivations and their preparations and all this. What a fucking huge hairy set of balls on each one of them. Honestly. First black person to ever go to the moon. First woman to go to the moon. First Canadian to go to the moon. And then white guy. Because you've got to have a white guy.

Right. Everything has a white guy. Yeah. Every podcast, every space travel. It's all going to have a white guy. Keep things in line. You know, we've got to keep that weird hierarchy going on. So the white guy is going to go there.

But the moon dudes and the moon chick, they are on their way. And I am super excited about it. I didn't think I'd be so excited. But I was really excited. I know, me too. And I started following the woman on Instagram. There was a news story I was reading and it was like, here's her Instagram. So I started following her to see if she's going to be posting anything. They're taking their phones and they're using the cameras. They're using the cameras. And they're going to use, I think, Starlink to relay some of that information down. They're going to use some of those spy satellites that I'm sure that we don't know about. They say Starlink, but I'm sure it's spy satellites that they're using because

I don't think they're going to let, you know, photos of the moon, dark side of the moon go through Starlink. Yeah. But I will say this, that rocket that they had, that fucking Artemis rocket that's on that thing is just incredibly powerful. I mean, biggest rocket ever built, ever blasted off. And the crazy thing is, and that I didn't know, is that they used the tires from the last rocket. Did you know that? No, I didn't. They used the rocket, I guess, I don't know what you call them, like the.

the balls? Yeah, the balls, the ball bearings. You know, the things that hang off. Yeah, it's all about balls. They use the nuts of the other one. You know those things that hang off the back, the rocket things. The boosters. The boosters.

Yeah, the boosters. The things where the shit comes out, the fire comes out, right? They used three of them from the space shuttle. They just used them. They just repurpose them. That's nice. And the fourth one was rebuilt from the shuttle. I don't know.

I'm going and they're not even sure I'm going to make it. And they're like, hey, were using tires from the last car. I mean, I don't know. I'm just a little, I might be a little bit of recycling. So I agree with you. Well, they're trying to save some money. Every, almost every, every continent on earth participated in making this happen. Almost every country on earth in some way, shape, or form had a hand in making this happen. Hundreds of thousands of people. And you can imagine how many years of hard work and preparation. And this just, it excites me in, in this sense. You know, talk about the great space generation, like the 60s and 70s, when these guys and girls were doing things that just seemed impossible on computers that have no more computing power than your average calculator.

And they were getting people to the moon and they were saving them. I know. That's wild. I went to the Houston Space Center with my kids when I went to go visit a Gustavo who's living there right now in L.A. And we went there. And I did not think, I mean, I thought I was going to be interested. But I didn't think I'd be as interested as I ended up being at, and I am interested in space. But we went to, we went in and took a tour of the campus, which is huge.

And there are hundreds of buildings. I'm sure. And that Capcom, like the Houston Space Center, like where they actually direct the, you know, where all the things happen like they're driving the ship and they're paying attention to it. All that happens in Houston. They take off in Florida. And there is a communication center there. But once it gets in the air, it all goes to Houston, right?

And it's always been that way, by the way. Well, that's when we get the Houston, we have a problem. They're always communicating with Houston. Building in and of it, and they do have launch pads out in Houston too. And when you see the size of those things and how far away you have to be from one to be safe, it's miles. I mean, you're not even pretend close. And they're huge. But the building in and of itself is a feat of engineering.

It's 30 stories in the air. It's huge, you know, where they can put the rockets and pay attention to them. Right. That's fascinating. This is a, this is really a testament to mankind and how cool we can be. When we want to be. How we can come together and do something. Yes.

And we are doing this in the hopes that we can have a better understanding of our little, little tiny corner of the universe and maybe save ourselves someday from the nightmare that we have created in some sense. or maybe, you know, have some perspective on how wonderful we have it down here on Earth. Either way, it's a win-win for humanity. And, you know, I just hope no one in that spaceship dies while they're trying to do it. That's all I'm going to say, because it's dangerous shit, man. Dangerous shit. There's a reason why we haven't been back.

The reason why we haven't been back is to go to deep space, to go past a certain line, is not, it's not friendly to any kind of life. And that's why we haven't gone back. It's, you know, we went, what, 13 times or something? 13, 15 times we went to the moon. And we had it down. We had it licked. You've seen Apollo 13. By the third flight after we first got to the moon, no one here on Earth was interested.

Everyone was like, hey, we're turning the baseball game. Yeah, turn on the baseball game. We're going to the moon. So it lost its luster. People lost their excitement for the idea of going to the moon. It seemed like we could just do this, like riding an elevator. Ah, you take me to the 12th floor. But that's not at all what goes on.

It is extraordinarily dangerous. Anything can happen at any time. And these people are risking their lives in the pursuit of a better humanity. And I just, I hate to wax poetic, but that's the way I feel about it. Yeah, no, I completely agree. It's amazing. It really is amazing. And where exactly is the space station in relation to?

Space station's moving around the earth. It is. That's right. It's above the. the meridian line or something like that. It's above a line. Because that's mostly where humans have been going. Yes.

That's it. Right. And some, I think, space shuttle missions went a little further beyond that. But the space shuttle was meant to be in low Earth orbit, right? And so it's not. And what happens is, I watch this is, you know, we've all seen like how, we've all seen the experiments of like the science professor, teacher who's teaching the kids about gravity. and they have this big rubber piece of rubber like a sheet and then they put a big ball heavy

you know whatever it is a bowling ball in the middle of it and then they throw it they roll a baseball around and the ball just keeps spinning around it's falling it's always falling towards something that's heavier but then it's spinning or it's orbiting it at the same time and that is what the space station is locked in this always falling toward earth but spinning around and every once in a blue moon, the space station boosts itself up a little bit so that it corrects, you know, so that it stays in the air, essentially. But one day the space station is going to fall down to Earth. And that's, I think they're already planning for that, like in the next 10 years. It's going to, they'll be done.

They've got to bring it back down. But that is essentially what people do when they go into low Earth orbit is that, yes, they're in space. No doubt about it. You're in space. You can't just walk out of your capsule and have a good day. And if you walk out of your capsule, you're not falling back down to Earth with a parachute. That's a lot of experiments. right? A lot of experiments. A lot of experiments, a lot of spy shit, a lot of, you know, communication

satellites. They're mainly doing it for private public industry. And that is what has guided NASA for the last 30, 40 years is that public, private participation that gives them the money to do what they're going to do so they can do experiments, but then gives private industry and governments the ability to put stuff in space essentially. But now, but deep space, expiration, which this isn't even really technically deep space. The moon isn't, but it's past a certain line where life just becomes very, there's nothing friendly to life at all, including the radiation from the sun, the space junk, the, you know, rocks falling from the asteroid bell. I mean, nothing is easy about this. And the moon dudes and the moon chick said, yeah, I volunteer. I'll do that.

Sure, why not? I'll go up there. Speaking of space junk, I was reading that they had to time it to where they were able to miss. Space junk. Yeah, there's so much shit. Yes. Like out there. And I watched something and they breezed over it and I wish they hadn't. But they said, what are they going to do when they're in this first rotation around Earth waiting

for the slingshot? And they said, well, we do this specifically so that they can practice some maneuvers and including emergencies. What are we doing in an emergency that you can only replicate up there? You can't do it down here, right? You got to do it when there's weightlessness. so that you can time yourself and figure out how to maneuver. And I get that, right?

There's only so much that you can replicate in a pool or up in a plane falling, you know, anti-gravity for like 30 seconds. Right. And one of the things they practice is taking certain items around the spacecraft and putting it in certain places in case there is a solar flare event. Ah, the old solar flares. Where the radiation could harm the astronauts inside of the craft. or do damage to the equipment.

So they would take these certain pieces of other equipment that is thick, heavy, or radiation-proof-ish, and they would put it in certain places so that radiation couldn't enter the spacecraft. Holy fucking shit. Good God. Let's practice for a radiation event. Oh, my God. That's part of the staying alive mission. Yeah, it's insane.

You've got to practice to stay alive. Man, I'm in all. I'm in all of these human beings. It really is. I'm in all of the whole thing. And then you listen. Part of the reason I think what gets me excited about listening to all the technical bullshit back and forth is because it is so incredibly complicated that a battery that overheated just went a couple degrees past what it normally is for five fucking seconds. Almost put an end to the entire thing.

They almost said we are so nervous that one single battery out of a million in there, just heating up just a little bit could mean life or death so we're considering doing it. So one dude on the battery team could just put a stop to the whole thing. And I guess that's what you have to do if you're in this industry

is you have to be able to raise your hand after the Challenger and all the other Columbia and all the other disasters and going all the way back to the Apollo missions. I'm sure that you have to be able to raise your hand and say out loud. I'm not sure my shit's working okay.

Right? And I'm not going to just let this thing take off and put people's... And hope that it works. But it appears so far it has. And that is a testament to all that hard work. And all those people paying real close attention to the shit that may not

say... Like, if it's me, right? I get in the car, a sensor comes on, and the little yellow light starts flashing. I'm like, I got another hundred miles. Right. You know what I'm saying? Little yellow light goes on with those people. And they're, cab calm. You know, stop the countdown. Everyone duck. It's like, you got to get them out of the shuttle.

And all the procedures that have like they were telling check check check double check and they go around the room so many times just to make sure and they talked about that battery the shitter the sensor they talked about that they stopped the clock at 10 minutes if you watched it you know they stopped the clock at 10 minutes which is normal they always do that by the way there's a window of four hours four or five hours where they can get where they need to get they can you know point it in a direction and get to the moon so they have four or five hours every 10 days or whatever it is and And they go around the room, they stop the clock, and they go around the room, and they talk about anything that's gone wrong, anything you've seen out of the ordinary, and they're checking essentially.

So when they're going, you know, Capcom, you know, check for Capcom, Capcom, go, you know, check for flight, flight go. You know, they're asking, is anything you saw that I need to be concerned about? And they check and they double check, and there's like four different people that the hierarchy goes. It goes from like director to flight to, you know, the management at NASA and then the final flight director who says, yeah, okay, go. and they go around that horn at 10 minutes and they talk through anything they saw that was wrong and they talked through it and you heard him talking through it. Yeah. This is what we saw.

And then they asked the other person, is that what you saw? Yes, that's what I saw. Is it nominal? Are we within the range? Can we go? You know, or how are you feeling about this? And you heard him talk through their reasoning and while I don't understand a fucking word that they said, I heard in their voices, they felt a degree of confidence that this is just a blip.

It's a blip, and we're still within the tolerances, and it's nominal now, and we can go, right? And then they fucking go, and they like that thing. And holy fucking shit, man, that is one big, powerful dick riding to this guy. I loved it. I loved every minute of it. We feel like a man. I'm like, yeah, go. USA.

Oh, that's the other thing, too, that they were talking the story that I was listening to, and they were saying, you know, it's a race, too. We're trying to get there first, get to the moon first. and start doing what we want to do on it. Building. Yeah, building on the moon. And whoever gets there first gets to do it. Yeah, because, you know, the Chinese went to the moon recently. And they didn't tell anybody until after they were there.

They were like, oh, we went to the moon. We're up here. And the people were like, really. I mean, I'm sure somebody in the CIA knew or someone, you know, knew that something was heading toward the moon. But it was, they kept it secret. Yeah, we're trying to beat China. That's for sure. This is For All Mankind playing out in live time.

Have you watched For All Mankind, the show? I have not, but I've heard it's really good. should watch it. It's a little, it's one of those shows where you've got to like suspend disbelief on like three times an episode. But if you can do that, it is a alternate version of what happened if the Russians went first to the move. Oh, that's right. You told me about that. Right. And then it just starts this incredible space race. And now we're in the 90s, I think. So it goes, so there's five, four seasons and each season covers like a decade. And now we're in the 90s. 90s or early 2000, something like that. And there's, you know, presidents that

got elected or didn't get elected and new characters. You got to watch it. It's pretty fascinating, actually. And the new season just started. And I fucking hate that Apple does now, we broke TV and now we're back to TV. What the fuck is going on? We broke TV and now we're back to one a week. Now we're back to a point of television. No, Netflix is the only one that does it. And even they, and even they, and even they do a point in TV, too, on some of their shows. Well, they've broken them up. Yeah. Yeah, because they know. This is, what are we doing? Why is everyone watching it one time?

Let's get to drag it out. You know, we need people to keep their subscriptions. So let's put it out two weeks later. That way they'll have one more month of paying for the service. Of course. Now, Apple has a, you know, 10 episode season, and I got to wait every fucking Friday to watch the new episode. Fuck that.

I know. I hate that, too. Yeah. Same with Top Chef. Can we just put Top Chef on, not new Top Chef season? and the culinary cup. Have you seen that? I have not.

All right, let's chat about it. And then I also want to go back to a series and I'm rewatching now that I think we all need to pay attention to at this time. And that is HBO's Chernobyl, which is so fucking fantastic on the second watch,

all the details that I missed on the first watch. It was so good. Did you ever watch that? I did. Yeah, I watched that. You should rewatch it. It's fascinating. And it is a cautionary tale for all mankind.

And I had no idea until I watched that series. for the first time. Just how disastrous Chernobyl really was. Like really bad for not for just Russia, for Earth in general. Anyway, all right, let's take a break. And yeah, we'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.

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Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. I walked in the door to grab a latte. I paid $10 hurt Erie and a grand day. But then I saw him and his big doll. I felt my knees weak.

Here came the brain falls. And though I'm not gay, you make me feel. that way I hope it never ends my new Starbucks boyfriend all my toes curl all the feels come my world the gold you are my shining sun we love to talk sports and swimming pools you like the patio I like the bar stools and we spill tea and we crochet the other tables might think we're gay I don't really care I hope it never ends. You're my best Starbucks boyfriend. And though we're still straight, you make me feel a certain way. I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. And though I'm not gay, you make me feel that way.

I hope it never ends. My new Starbucks boyfriend. I hope a new Starbucks boyfriend. Who is the Starbucks boyfriend? Well, I was just going to talk about him. He is at French laundry tonight. Check that shit out. Yeah, he did a... You know, the Starbucks boyfriend, he's a man of means.

He's been very successful in his life. And he sold a couple companies. So he does all right for himself. And he has a Labragini. and a That is what you always say. Yeah, he's got a Lamborghini SUV, which is a beautiful car, by the way.

And anyway, he's done okay for himself. He went to like a charity auction that he goes to, that he attends, and they had, they were bidding on four nights in Napa. Yeah, like the silent auction stuff. French laundry, special treatment,

a whole nine yards. And then he's also going to another Thomas Keller restaurant that just got open like a, like with a, a Japanese chef. And so apparently it's like sushi and America, you know, like a mix. I love that Asian flair. Yeah. So he says, I'm really excited actually about French laundry because I've never been. It's on my bucket list. But I'm also really excited to go to the other Thomas Keller restaurant because, of course, why wouldn't you be excited to go to the Thomas Keller restaurant?

And then they're going to go do Napa for a couple days. And then they're going to Sedona, where he's never been. He's like, I'm really excited to see the painted mountains. I'm like, yeah, you can do an ayahuasca ceremony while you're there too. That's right. We can hook you up with people. There's the I have money side of Sedona and then there's the I just hitchhiked here side of Sedona. Yeah. Both are interesting, I'm sure. That's so true. Sedona is an interesting place and it's definitely a tale of two cities for sure.

And they do mix in some ways, but in some ways they do not at all. It's a bunch of old hippies and young hippies that are trying to make their way in the world, you know, living in a tent out in the desert. Desert. And then there's, you know, a Ritz Carlton. Oh, yeah, there's like some high-end spas and wellness retreats and things out there. Yeah, I went there for a conference one time. And what did I stay at? I can't remember, super high-end hotel. Was it a five seasons maybe? Four seasons? Four seasons? Five seasons. No, it was a five seasons. That's how good it was. And it was a sprawling over the painted mountains in the desert.

it was sprawling. And the room I got was sprawling. I was at a conference like private equity guys when I worked in real estate. I paid a ton of money to be a sponsor, like, you know, a lot of money to be a sponsor. And they hooked me up with a room and transportation and all this other stuff. It was all very nicely done. A lot of money rolling in that room in and out of the room. But I will share this, that the room that the room that I got was also beautiful. It was gorgeous. It was a four seasons room, if I'm remembering this correctly. And when I got in the room, They had this huge patio. I was on the second floor. It was only a two-story hotel, but it was sprawling. And they had these huge rooms and then this huge patio with these loungers out where you could get some sun, I would imagine. So I opened the door and then I lay down in the bed. It was perfect for you. It was gorgeous.

I love to open the door. Yeah. Like a tan. I will open the door anywhere we go. Astrid hates it. I love it. We're on a cruise. I want the door open the entire time.

We're at a hotel. I want the door open. I don't know. Just vacationy, right? I'm in vacation mode. The breeze blowing. Yeah, the breeze blowing. But, you know, Sedona, it's just caught as far. Yeah. Yeah. There's not a lot of breeze.

At least it was when I was there. So I opened the door and then I lay down and I'm, you know, I just got in the room and I'm watching TV or doing whatever. And I get up to take a shower and, you know, I'm like in my shorts and I get up to take a shower and I take a step down and there, the inches from me is a scorpion about this big. And I was like, ah! And then there's, I read this. I like go to close the door. And as I'm closing the door, and as I'm closing the door, Like behind the curtain is the sign on the window. It said, be mindful of keeping the doors open. You know, there's scorpions and snakes and all kind of shit that can get in your room. So I had to call someone to scoot it out. Yeah, the guy came up and like picked it up by his tail.

Right. Threw it out the window. Yeah. He's like, there you go, bud. He's like, those aren't the poisonous guy. And I'm like, they're all poisonous, I think. And he's like, yeah, it won't kill you. It'll just hurt.

I said, okay, I'm not interested in figuring that one out on my own. Thanks. I've had the five seasons. I need that kind of treatment. Five star service. That's right. So did you see the painted mountains? Is that? Yes. I saw the painted mountains. I went up on the trails. I went into one of the national parks. I did a lot of stuff, except for go to the conference. I mean, I spoke at the conference, but it was such a small conference. It was like 200, 300 people there. And so, yes, I went to the conference like in the morning. I, I went to the conference like in the morning. spoke at one of the panels. It was three days long. I think I attended like a total of four hours of events. I also went to a party out there. That was interesting. Party in the desert.

Yeah, it was a party in the desert. It was a party in the desert. It was a party at someone's house in the desert. And that house was huge. It was all these private equity guys. I'm sure doing a bunch of cocaine. I wasn't, but sure doing a bunch of cocaine. It was interesting. The whole thing was interesting. But anyway, that's where he's at. He's going to be doing Napa and then Sedona. And I wish him well. You know, he's going to be gone for 10 days. What do I do? I don't know. But I was gone too last week. Well, right. He just texted me the whole time.

He's like, how's it going up there? I think he was lonely. He's like, hey, what's you doing? Driving, what are you doing? Well, you've had time. Lots and lots of time. Culinary cup. Yeah, speaking of French laundry, the culinary is,

this is a great segue. We didn't even try and we had one. The culinary cup, America's Culinary Cup, is the new series on CBS, starring Padmalakshmi. And I love this. Padma. Oh, yeah. I think Padma was such an important part of Top Chef that when she decided to leave, I thought Top Chef's going to fall apart or it's not going to be the same. Now, I give Kristen,

who's the new host on Top Chef, she's really good. And I think she has done a good job of making me Miss Padma less. So when Padma announced that she was doing the culinary cup, I thought, okay, she's doing Top Chef on another network, essentially. But then they expect, that no, this is going to be like a more, like numbers-based competition, so more of a sporting event. And we're still going to have the best chefs in the world and we're still going to do these challenges. And it's not going to be like Top Chef. But it's exactly like Top Chef. That's exactly what it is. In my opinion, yes, they score the contestants individually, rather than looking at all the dishes and having this kind of blind judging, you know,

talking it over and seeing who did the best. I think that's what's special about Top chef is that Tom and Gail and all the, whoever the guest judges are, they sit and they talk it over. Yeah, I like that too. They have to democratically come to a decision that makes sense in that moment. Now, that is very subjective, very subjective. But so is scoring a dish. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Scoring a dish is no less subjective because it's your palate. It's your own talent. That's right. You know, is it sweet. Is it salty? Is it original? Is it creative? Has it been done? All that stuff. Yes, you can give them scores and then say whoever gets the top score wins, but that is exactly the same thing as talking it out, exactly the same thing. You're just not, you're just not arguing with each other,

you're arguing with yourself and the score. And so for me, it's the exact same as Top Chef. But there are some differences. I think they focus less on the creative process of making a dish where Top Chef really focuses on the creative process of making a dish. Both of them stay out of the drama. They stay way away from the drama. You do not see, for the most part, and I think this is part of the keys to the kingdom when it comes to Top Chef and why it is the best and classiest reality show on television and has been for 20 years. Yeah, they're not fighting. They made it. Yeah, they made it to sit.

They used to. The first five seasons, they focused on what was happening in the house. Who was fighting with who? Who was fucking who? Who was getting angry at who? They would spend a lot of time in the rooms with these people and less so on the, food. But at season number five or six, I don't know when it was. At some point, there was a creative decision made. And they almost started showing none of it. They sometimes show them getting

ready in the morning and, you know, maybe they're talking to the camera or whatever. But they never ever focus on the internal drama that's going on must be going on inside of it. And so I think that's why I really love the show. You can just watch it and they're just cooking. That's all they're doing. And I have no idea how to cook. So all of this fascinates me. It's very exciting. I'd love to think that someday maybe I could cook. That's what I keep thinking in my head every time I watch these shows. Yeah, I know you do. You can, no.

That's the problem. I can't. So I'd love to watch these shows and imagine myself someday. Just going to the store, picking out 10 ingredients, and whipping up something delicious for Tom. Yeah, you can do it. It just takes practice. You have to start. Yes.

I just have to start doing it. At my tender age, I got plenty of runway. Yeah. And the other thing is, and I will say this, is that I also do the same thing with golf. Sometimes I watch Tiger Woods and I'm like, someday I'm going to swing the club like that. Oh, just like that. Yeah. Maybe not Tiger anymore.

No. Yeah, I think Tiger's done. Yeah, I think Tiger's done. Well, he sent it off to rehab, which is, you know, step one of the publicity. I'm sorry that he's, I'm sorry to her that he's going to have to go on. But I really hope he gets the help this time. Anyway, Culinary Cup, top chef. Both on at the same time.

Both on in the same night at the same time. Are you serious? Yeah. They're competing with each other at the same time, same night. Why not? I wouldn't do it, but I think that's what's going on. And Top Chef gives away a huge prize. It's like half a million dollars, you know, food and wine festival, you know.

Oh, yeah, that's a big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. It's very prestigious. Being a Top Chef winner gets you instantly one or two restaurants. It gets you investors in those restaurants. It gets you investors in those restaurants. Sure. It gets your name in every food and wine magazine.

And you're looked at as a serious, real chef. Will Culinary Cup do the same? They certainly, the chefs that are there certainly have the bona fides. They're, you know, they're Michelin star winners, most of them. So they're not these, you know, they're not home chefs coming to win. But that prize is a million dollars. And that is a lot of fucking money for a reality show competition. Which other reality show gives away a million dollar, like, Survivor, I think, I guess, a million-dollar prize?

Yeah, I mean, I can't think of one. What's going on with Survivor? Why are we still doing that? I know. You like watching that? No, I hate that show. Not that I hate the show. I just don't care for it.

I'm not interested in watching people take coconuts and make baskets in bikinis. Well, clearly they need some food in their bellies. I know. Amaciated. They start to look so bad. Sunburns. Yeah. And just looking like.

And then it's all the, you know, out-maneuvering of who's who, and alliances and things. Yeah. They all look like Tom Hanks and Castaway and they're making friends with coconuts and we're all watching it. Like, you know. No, I don't watch it.

No, I don't watch that show either. But it's still going strong after like 25 seasons or something. Yeah. Who's that host? I don't know, but I saw a little think about him one time. Yeah, I think like five years ago.

He's been on it like the entire time. I know. I think he got like five years ago. Maybe it was the first or second year he wasn't. But yeah. Yeah, he's been with it the whole time. has not stuck his foot in his mouth, like a lot of the other hosts of long time series, like The Bachelor, like, Who is that guy?

Well, then The Bachelorette, they just pulled the whole thing. That is an insane story. Yeah. It's an insane story, not because I'm particularly interested in the story, but it's insane that ABC and Disney, with all their lawyers and all their background check and all their probably private security that knows exactly how to get every story that ever, I mean, Disney is probably a corporation with a. lot of power and information, right?

You know it. You can't hide something from Disney. They are probably like the Secret Service. They will talk to your third grade teacher about your grades, and they will talk to the nun about how many times you masturbated. Do you know what I'm saying? They're going to figure that shit out. And it was public knowledge on TM fucking Z two years ago that this girl had physically assaulted

her boyfriend at the time with her child in the room. But they still decided to make her the bachelor. And only after the video came out, did they say, well, this isn't conducive with our standards. Well, why was it conducive with your standards two years ago? I think they were just trying to get away with it until it was resurfaced. And then there was public outrage. And what's so special about her? Why her?

She was on the Mormon, something about, okay, I tried to watch the Mormon wives. You know me and the housewives anyway. So I was like, okay, good, a new reality show with these Mormon wives. I guess they were famous on TikTok and the social media for their lifestyle. Yeah, there's a big Mormon mom community that everybody loves. Exactly. So then I guess they decided to give them a show. But when I watched the show, I was like, oh, this is bad.

I couldn't watch it. It's secret life of Mormon moms or something, Mormon wives. Yeah, yeah. There's like two shows. The reality, like the real housewives of Salt Lake City. Well, there's that. That's totally separate. Okay.

Yeah, this was. Yeah. I don't get it. I don't get it. It doesn't seem, none of it seems Mormon to me. I don't know. I mean, I know Mormons and none of this seems Mormon to me, but I get that there's this big trad wife kind of vibe that goes on on TikTok and Instagram that people go crazy for. They're in millions and millions of followers and views and all this other stuff. It's it, but, you know, if someone is is accused or found guilty of domestic violence, they probably should not be the bachelor or bachelor. No matter what. Yeah. There's other Mormon wives you can turn to. Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's strange.

Or Mormon wives. Who cares if you pick up one more wife? Did they film the whole season? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if they filmed the whole season because they said they were stopping production. Okay, so maybe it was halfway filmed or something. I mean, they filmed a lot of it, I think. Yeah, whatever they did, they've spent a lot of money.

Yeah. And I wouldn't be surprised if ABC, I don't know, take some kind of legal action against. I don't know. Who knows how all that stuff works? but to scrap an entire season of one of the more popular shows on your network. But I also read somewhere in like the reality television world. Trades. Trades.

Yeah. Like reality star.com or whatever. That Bachelor and Bachelorette have been around for a very long time. Yeah. And that there are other dating shows that are kind of stealing their thunder. Like it's been around for a long time and the format's a little worn out, right? I don't watch it anymore. I don't.

Astrid used to watch it. And I would get stuck. Like I walk in the room and I get stuck watching an episode. If you watch the first couple episodes, then you're hooked. You're hooked. Right. But she doesn't watch it anymore. Now she's on to other stuff.

Yeah. She's on to like Netflix love series. Oh, God. And I just can't get into it. I'm like, I love you, babe. But I'm like, I can't. Well, I refuse to do love is blind. We've made that packed.

No, didn't watch it. Even when all the drama was being, they were talking about all the drama on all the trade rags. And they were tickling my taint. Yes, out there. I said, no. Watch me. Yeah, watch me. It's so good this year.

Oh, the drama. But I know. I'm going to be disappointed by all of it. I'm going to sit through hours of conversation that don't mean anything. People that don't get married and drama that is clearly manufactured. And that's the same thing with those people. Netflix knows how to do a background check. And yet you got some of the – and I know they do this on purpose.

They throw these mentally unstable human beings on their own purpose to cause drama. And then they follow them closely. Put a producer with them to, you know, tickle their taints so that everyone gets all wound up and they have a show on their hands, right? It's clearly that – maybe not the first season or, or two. Maybe they're trying to be somewhat altruistic, but now it's just there. And then my, you know, Married at first sight, it's not even on TV anymore. Now it's on, you got to watch it on streaming. Fuck that. I'm not going to go watch Married up first site on my computer. Got a loser do you think I am. I'll watch it on my TV. In the shower. In the shower. Well, I didn't think about that.

I could put it on my phone. Now you've got, now you're tickling my tank. Yeah, there you go. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-3-TCB. That's 212-4333822.

Visit our website, TCB Podcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? that really wasn't that difficult. Now, was it? You're welcome.

I love our fans. Our fans are the best. I was telling Chrissy that I was at the here yesterday, the phone buzzed to the studio phone. And it was someone and they were like, hey, can you see, I'm here, can you see my comments? You see my, and I'm like, what? So I respond, I'm like, excuse me?

I'm here, I'm watching the show. Can you see? I'm talking. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, we weren't. we weren't live at that time. And I said, what are you talking about? And they sent me a link to a video that we had posted like three weeks ago on YouTube.

And they were commenting down under the video and they thought we were alive. I'm not busting your balls. Hey, listen. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching. I said, thank you for the view. I'll take it. That's your one of three.

So we'll take those views. But it was just funny to me that, you know, our audience was, they wanted to get so engaged in the show. They had to reach out. Not only text here, but then text there, too. Like, hey, can you see my text? It's like my mom when she calls, you know? Hi. Hi, Mom.

I'm just going to see if you saw my text. I did see her text. Okay. That was it. Yeah, that's it. Mom, the whole point of texting is not to follow up with a phone call. You know what I'm saying? You've got to figure that part out.

It's, you know, but dude, we're all learning, I suppose. We are. Yes. Like Astrid said to, hey, can you ask as the neighbor? if they have a sander? And I said, what? And she, can you ask the neighbor if they have a sander?

And for months, she's been talking about sanding the back deck, which is painted with, you know, outdoor deck paint, like a gray color. And after time,

over time, it just starts to crack and peel and look terrible. And it's not, it's not 100% there, but it's 50% of the way. It's not looking great, but it's not looking terribly either.

And I said, yeah, I want to get that done too. And I said, well, I don't have, you know, I'm sure that there's a,

sand her somewhere. And she said, I'm going to have Gustavo, who's in town. She said, I'm going to have Gustavo sand the deck. A hand sander. A hand sander. And I'm like, babe, it's going to take Gustavo years to hand sand the deck. Like, Ian, do you know how much money we're going to spend in sandpaper? Like, we're going to need a box of sandpaper. Like, every foot and a half, we're going to change the sandpaper. And she says, oh, well, you know, he can do it. He's got the time. He's got the I know he does not. So then I saw him out there with a power washer. I just straight at the pain.

I'm going to go see this. And I'm like, ah, don't think that's going to work either. But, you know, hey, you'll ruin the wood, but that's all right. You can do it. Listen, that's why I love having Gustavo and Allie in town. We get a little break from the kids. You know, there's moments where we can take a little breath. At least have, like, a breath every once in a while.

When you're in the room and you're a parent, you're always the parent. That's just the rule of raising. children. If you think just because, you know, grandparents are in the room or aunts or uncles in the room, you can take a break. You can't. Every once in a blue moon, but you're always the parent. They're always going to come to you. They want the drink. They go to the go to the bathroom. They got to do the thing. They need to wipe their butts. Whatever it is. You're always going to be the person who does that. But it's nice to have them because, first of all, the kids love it. They love it. They love when their aunt and uncles are down. And second of all, there are,

there is moments where you can kind of like grab some spacing from the children. And that's wonderful too. But then the other reason is they can do shit around, Gouzabu can do shit around the house. Well, he is Daniel's son. He is Daniel's son. And while he's not as handy as Daniel, he is more handy than I am. So there's like a middle, I eat, but I in. He said some middle ground there for sure. Like there was a light switch that's been broken in the house for two weeks, right? And the light switch is stuck on on. So, and I am not an electrical engineer. I don't like fooling with electricity myself. Last time I did, I almost set the pool shed on fire. I did set the pool shed on fire, actually.

Yeah, that's right. I don't think that was my fault, but I'm sure I had, I don't think it was my direct fault, but I'm sure I had some hand in it. And so I just don't like messing with it. And I was looking at switches online, and I saw the switch was like $48. And I'm like $48 fucking. It's like a dual switch, like a special dual switch. And I'm like, wow, that's really expensive.

I don't know. Just leave it on, I guess. Just leave it on. And then the other day I walked into the room and I noticed it was off. And Astrid had been flipping the breaker to turn it off. Oh, right. But what we failed to realize, it's not for our pantry. Okay.

So we can close the door and the light is off essentially, right? You close the door. Yeah, yeah. It's on, but it's off. It's like a refrigerator. Right. But what we failed to notice as we were turning the breaker on and off at night when we would go to bed is that just like a refrigerator door, there is a refrigerator in the pantry. Oh.

So we were turning off the refrigerator. Oh, no. Astrid said she flipped it off one night when I was gone and she came the next morning and the ice cream was like all over. Oh, God. I bet. Oh, no. Yeah, there's other things. There's sections.

Yeah, there's sections. For those breakers. That's right. It's not just one switch, right? That's what the switch is for. Switch does that work. And so anyway, but I go in the other day and the, the, the thing is off. And I'm like, ah, not learning our lesson. We've got to turn that breaker back on.

But then I realized The breakers on And I was like Oh Gustavo fixed it I was like wow Go Gustavo So you know Put him to work

That's what you do They're taking the kids They're going to go see The Mario movie Is what they're going to do The Mario movie Okay Which I hear is terrible

But you know Why are you reviewing a kid's movie Anyway Kids are going to go Fuck and see it You know what I'm saying There's so many reviews About Mario out there

And most of them are terrible But you know Aren't these movies Made for Children generally, like, do we have to review them? We can say, this is good for kids or scary for kids or bad for kids, or there's tits in the movie and the kids shouldn't see, whatever it is, right? But should we really be doing a full breakdown review about Super Mario Brothers, too?

No. I mean, everyone's got a job to do. I'm not hating on you. But I just, I was watching a video review of it. And then I was thinking to myself, I was watching it. Why are you watching a review, Brian? Do you think this is going to change your children's mind about? Mario? No. They just want to see it. And why do I look at movie reviews anyway? What does it matter? If I want to see it, I'm going to see it. The trailer convinces me. Sometimes movies that I really like don't have the best reviews.

That's true. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Bottle Rocket, which is one of my favorite movies. Oh, that's a great movie. Absolutely lambasted when it came out. It was a dumb movie with dumb blocking and, you know, weird people. And, you know, it's turned out to be a, just an incredibly classic, timeless, touching, and funny movie. And Wes Anderson's first film. So, Wes Anderson, he's like one of the best movie directors ever. So fuck the critics. They don't know what's going on. And Pink Floyd The Wall still gets shitty reviews.

It's always being reviewed one year by somebody. But I think Pink Floyd, the Wall, when you're high on LSD, is one of the best movies ever. That's my personal opinion. Have your own opinion. Yes, that's right. Have your own opinion, but as far as I'm concerned, I liked it. I found it, this is an interesting fact, totally off subject, kind of not a totally off subject. There is one actor who has been in, was in five movies in his entire life, and three of them won Best Picture, and two of them were nominated for Best Picture.

And only five movies was he ever in, and all five of them were nominated or won Best Picture. You know who it is? That's incredible. No. Take a guess? No? I don't know. You never know this.

It's the guy who played the brother in the godfather. Oh. The guy who played the brother. Like, I know it was you, Frado. Fredo. He played Fredo. His name is like Tony Cavazzi or something, Kalavazi or something like that. And he was only in five movies before he died of lung cancer.

And all five, like, Deer Hunter, Godfather, Godfather, Two. dog day afternoon. Okay. That's a fascinating fact. There was another one. I can't remember what the other one was. But isn't that crazy? It's only in five movies,

each one of the best picture. Wow. That was a good career. Yeah. I bet that kid who's running around making fun of the ballet, I bet he would like that. Timothy Shala.

Shalala la la me? Yeah. You know, I wanted to see that movie about ping-pong. Marty Supreme. Yeah, but I heard some people said, eh. The reviews, yes. Yeah, the reviews are like, eh. And I, and I knew somebody went to go see it and they said the same thing. They were like, yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I can watch a whole movie about a guy whose whole life depends on a ping pong game. Like, it's just

doesn't, the stakes aren't high. Yeah, I read the story about the guy and I think that was enough. Yeah. Plus, you know, anybody who has Mr. Wonderful in their movie, you know, like, I just don't know. He's in it. Yeah, I don't care for Mr. Wonderful as a human being. I can appreciate him on Shark Tank when he's doing his shark tank sticked. But it just seems to go on. Like, now he's on red carpet. I know. I saw the pictures of the red carpet. He's wearing some kind of crazy outfit. He's wearing a crazy outfit with a $50 million watch that, you know, he's collecting. It's just like, dude, you're a douche. You're a douche. There are people that can't pay for their gasoline and struggling to buy milk and you're wearing $50 million watches. I get it. Oh, he was wearing a chain with a

Pokemon card that he had bought for $7 million. Yeah. come on guys come on have a little bit of taste right the between the paul brothers and mr wonderful and you know trump and all these people that are just like absolutely have no shame about their about how much they have been given in life it's completely out of touch completely out of touch completely out of touch i'm not saying you have to like walk a mile with a cross tied to your back that's not what i'm saying but just chill a little bit chill you know understand that there's real people out there that are watching this, you're choosing to be on a red carpet where you're getting millions of eyeballs on you. It's not like this people were following him around. You want to wear

that watch in your house or to a rent dinner where you're showing off to your friends who also have wealth. Cool. But you're walking a red carpet and you've got, you're wearing nine million dollars worth of shit. Yeah. And expecting anybody down here to be relating to that is difficult. And you're, you're incentivizing people to do the wrong thing. And that is to collect wealth just forever and ever and ever. Now, I'm a capitalist. Always will be. Always have been. Always will be. But I just find it a little distasteful when times are tough for most people to be out there flaunting so much wealth. Yeah. I don't have any money. Now, I might feel differently if I had any money. Yeah. If I actually had money, I might be, you know, I might be wearing a $3 million dollar Pokemon chain too.

Maybe I should have gotten into Pokemon. Maybe then I'd have some money. You know what I'm saying? This Pokemon cards can be very lucrative, apparently. Apparently so. There's people like I saw some dudes at the Kroger yelling at each other over bullshit. One guy was filming the other. You're a fucking asshole.

You're the reason this Pokemon isn't, you know, everyone hates Pokemon. And I was like, what? What? Hey, nerds. Yeah. Hey, nerds, get out of the way. What are you doing? I got groceries in my hand.

You're sitting at the Pokemon card machine fighting each other. I get it. There might be a million-dollar card in there. But there's probably not. Right next to the Pokemon machine is the lottery machine. Yeah. Go to the lottery machine. Right.

They have a track record of making millionaires. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I love that show, too, when they won the lottery and then that guy helps them find a house. Yeah, that's a good one. Or how I lost my millions. like about all the people who just suffered greatly after they won the lottery. It's a curse, man.

It's a curse. You know, not for everybody. I did know a couple who won the lottery. They were very generous. They were very humble. You wouldn't have known it unless you knew it. And once I found out, it was amazing. And they had a huge house.

And, you know, they were just very humble people. I always wanted to help out everybody. And they seemed to, the guy was still mowing lawns. That was his job. He was a landscaper. Oh, we loved it. escaping crew. They had won the lottery, and for a decade afterwards, he was still mowing lawns.

Corey and Steve, that was their name. I love those, too. I wish I had kept up with them. They were older a couple. I met him at Chili's. I was waiting tables, and they would always give $100 bill to whoever waited on them. Always got $100 bill. We always wondered, what did they do?

They can give $100 bill. He's driving a lawnmower truck. Right. He's got a lawnmower trailer. And then we became friends with them, and then eventually they called us one night. they'd have been on a head-on collision and ask us to come to their house and get their medicine and come to the house and help take care of them because they couldn't get up out of their bed. And we did. And they both broken legs and all this other stuff we did.

And the house was a mansion of epic proportions. And I was like, that's incredible. And then they told us. We won the lottery. Don't tell anybody. Yeah. All right. And then you told everybody.

And I told everybody. Like here on the podcast. TCB.com. Get your free sticker at the commercial break on Instagram. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. watch us live Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, around 1 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye.