The Commercial Break - The Ronco Coke Bro!

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

Every restaurant in the worlds has Coke Bros. Two dues who use the restroom together...and not to pee! Bryan has a run in with some Coke Bros at his local Italian joint! Then, Bryan and Krissy review a clip of the Ronco products from the late 80's. The TCB intro has gotten lengthy and Bryan is over it! Naked cuddle parties is a thing...TCB finds it How do the old naked guys do it? Sword fighting increases length! Rachel's voice is everywhere Bryan runs into The Coke Bros The Coke Bros are talking fast! Ronco products are ahead of their time! Ronco takes over the airwaves during the holidays Ronco's finger blender will blend eggs too! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When Timothy Shalom makes the peach, it's art, but when I do it, I'm no longer welcome at my uncle's time. On this episode of the commercial break... Okay, I'm gonna Uber, wait for me! Make sure you wait for me! Are you sure there's not more room in that car? Because that's the car where all the cocaine's gonna be done and I really want some more! But like 30 minutes to twear in that bathroom!

Never in the history of ever has anyone ever said, can I get a grandmoney on the ice? I can't even get my dog to shit outside! How do you expect me to get it to sit for a tooth cleaning? Once! A WEEK! Great! Dear Uncle! This is Judy Pennsylvania. I've lost three fingers from your egg scrambler and they don't taste different.

I'd like my money back, please send care of Judy in Pennsylvania. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, Ken's a Giddens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Frank Green. This is my dear friend and co-host, Kristen Joy Holy, best to you, Chrissy. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break.

Our 3,650 first episode this year. It's not for everyone, but you know the deal. Go to the tcppodcast.com website. Got a short note of that fucking intro. I'm telling you, at season 4, I'm not in the saying all those words. I'm gonna be best of you, best of you, best of you. There's gonna be three best of you, and then we're gonna be out of here. And we're gonna start the fucking show.

And I'm cutting down on the preview clips, too. The audience has spoken, we have been talking about it. I'm gonna do something to this intro. We got to rearrange it. Yeah, for sure. It's just too long. It's like six minutes before we even start talking about anything.

And then we start talking. We're talking about things about, we are literally talking about talking about things. And I've done with it. That! Take comfort. All you TCB fans out there rearranging the yeah, we're gonna That's right. We're just gonna have to yeah, we're moving the

We're moving the notes around just a little bit. They'll keep it fresh in season four mainly for me for my own sanity Can't say all that anymore. I'm getting too old for all that bullshit. I Watched the most interesting fucking video the other day and had me thinking hardcore about some things. Literally hardcore. No pun intended pun intended. I in my research, whatever, the masturbation coach and all that. Remember we were talking about that. I came upon a video I put watch later a couple of videos. So I was watching this video and it was about a group. I think it was like in connected in York. And they were putting on naked cuddle parties. You know cuddle parties, like cuddle parties. Like cuddle parties.

Like cuddle parties. Hey man, you want to come through a cuddle puddle with me? Sure brother, no problem. Could take you pants off. Yeah, what? It's like taking the cuddle puddle. Oh, I don't know. Do you know whatever.

For those of you that do not know, a cuddle puddle is kind of like a colloquial reference to, like if you're at a concert or a partydle puddle is kind of like a colloquial reference to, like if you're at a concert or a party out in the woods, or you know, you're with certain types of people, they do the cuddle puddle. Usually when we're all fucked up on something and everyone smells like shit, everyone gets in a tent and, you know, cuddles and it makes everybody feel better. But these people are taking it to a new level and they're doing naked cuddle parties, naked cuddle parties. Okay. So they have a video out there online

and the video is unedited, so and it is literally a documentary about this particular cuddle puddle, make it cuddle puddle. And I am surprised, first of all, there, I mean, women are beautiful in general, right? But there are some relatively like attractive women in the cuddle puddle. Yeah.

And then there are mainly like old men with saggy balls in the cuddle puddle. Yeah. And then there are mainly like old men with saggy balls in the cuddle puddle. And I am just shocked and surprised to learn that these men have absolute control over themselves. Not that they're like, not that they would have sex with a woman or touch her inappropriately. It's all like monitored very closely in what you can and can't do.

You imagine if you walk into a naked cuddle party, you gotta be extra fucking careful about what happens, right? You gotta set the guidelines pretty good, pretty good. Because people are literally on top of each other. I can't even imagine myself fucking into it. I can't, I cannot. I cannot.

I just, I mean, I don't know if it's me, but I don't know, I would be so mortified that I would get a half-hard and I'd just be running around the cuttle party with, with you know three and a half inches of hard hanging out. People would be like that's against the rules Brian you can't have a half hard you gotta leave the room. Yeah I'd be so embarrassed. But there's some kind of like um coaching leading up to this. Yeah for the men. Like punching in the balls a couple times like. Something like that, here you dick is broken. God, you do it. I'm so fascinated to understand.

This is why I don't go to nude beaches. This is why I have a heart attack, an anxiety panic attack every time before I get a massage. Because I'm like, please don't get a half-hard. Please don't get a half-hard. Not because I don't know what happens, and it can happen involuntarily, but because I'm mortified,

that I'm gonna offend somebody, right? That my showing and growing is gonna offend somebody's sensibilities. They're gonna be like, ah, yeah, you got a Chubby, I got to go. It's over. It's over. Now I think massage therapists,

I'm gonna suspect something like that. Yeah, I've talked to a couple of them, they say that they do. It doesn't help my anxiety even a bit, because, you know. You should stick to naked golf. Yeah, naked golf, that sounds good. I saw this video of these two guys, like they were doing this ancient practice, like Roman practice, like have you seen this?

Were they like sword fight? They're like touching the- Naked swords fight? Yeah, they have boners and they touch each other, you know, Dicks not, this was edited, but it's this practice and it's supposed to make your penis grow longer by touching other men's penises together.

And I thought to myself, that's a rather strange way to announce to the world to cheer. Almost sexual. Don't you think? Yeah, the things you see on the internet, as you do. I have seen all of it. As I did, went out to dinner with Rachel McGrath, our good friend, Rachel McGrath, who has

been on the show a couple of times and is one hell of a character. For those of you that don't know the history of the show, Rachel McGrath was here early on for a number of episodes, maybe three episodes. And we had some good times. The Rachel is like a world famous world class voiceover artist. And she is. And she does imaging on radio stations and for television. So she's that girl.

And she also does not look like she should be on radio if you know what I mean. She's beautiful. No, she's gorgeous. Yeah, she has a face for TV and a voice for radio. But, you know, I've heard that I was telling the story one time, I walked into like a, I've told this maybe three times on the show. I walked into a rural for radio. But, you know, I've heard that I was telling the story one time, I walked into like a, I've told this maybe three times on the show,

I walked into a rural gas station, like in the middle of fucking nowhere, Florida, and I go to pee and they have like the Jesus station on, you know, like, and the Jesus station, it's just a guy preaching. He's, I don't know, it's live from the local Presbyteria in church. I'm not sure what's going on, you know,

all the hell in fire and damnation. We'll be right back to W, you know, Jesus Christ after this, WJH right after this. And then it's Rachel and she's like, you're listening to the voice of Christ on W-O-T-T. South fuck Florida. And I was like, what the fuck? Oh, I know, I hear her voice too.

Just like the most random times and places. I'm like, that, that, that, that, that. There she is. Yeah, I hear it on TV. I like the most random times and places. I'm like, nope, nope, there she is. Yeah, I hear it on TV. I'm walking through Walmart, Walmart radio. Rachel, you're doing Walmart radio. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. It's what she says. She just takes the jobs.

So we go out to this nice restaurant. It's lovely. It's in Buckhead here in Atlanta, which is a popular nightclub in restaurant destination where all the money is. Yeah, it's where all the money is. It's where the real housewives of Atlanta should be living, but that's not at all where they live.

They live somewhere hundreds of miles away from Atlanta, but somehow they're still the real housewives of Atlanta. But they go to the places in Buckhead. Yeah, that's where they filmed. They filmed their restaurant scenes there. But then when they're at their fancy houses, their fancy houses are actually all right. Way out in the suburbs.

Yeah, there are 100 miles south of Atlanta, where you can buy an acre of land for $6. So we go to this fancy restaurant, lovely Italian restaurant, and we're sitting down with Rachel. And then, so it's a big open space where they have a bunch of tables in a small bar. And then they have like, I don't know what you call it, like a bunch of shelves, open shelves where they're selling their wares, like you can buy

bread and sauces and stuff like that, right? For this popular restaurant. Behind there is a chef's table. So the kitchen is open and then there's a big table in the middle of this space. And it's probably a 20, 25 person table. And that's a big table in the middle of this space and it's probably a 20, 25 person table and that's the big table. You can do private parties or stuff. Okay. With the chef. With everybody cooking right there in front of you.

Okay. So they're making a bunch of, so that room everyone was full. The patio was even full. Everything's full and there is, everybody's dressed to the nines over there. The girls got glittery. Scurds on, the guys have suits on.

And they, it doesn't take about 30 or 40 minutes for me to recognize. They're just getting ruckus over there. They're screaming and yelling. They're applauding. It's a Christmas party. It's what it is. It's my best guest, company Christmas party,

because you can tell. They're giving away awards and talking about the future. future I can like like eavesdropping in on that I remember going to the oh yeah The Christmas party Remember a clear channel. We always we had wanted a bowling alley How late did wait a go clear channel the bowling alley that was in bankruptcy by the way In the middle of nowhere, they were like our client or something. Yeah, they were our client. So we got in for free.

We agreed to spend some money on the booths. Probably went to the cheetah after that. Oh, we didn't stay at that party for more than an hour. We were out of there. That's when that comes. We got our award and got out. That's when they introduced that country. Yes.

That guy. Yes. That's what I want to say is there. It was. Yeah. Okay. So those Christmas parties, you know, they get rockets, they get wild and they were obviously like open bar.

That's right. So everything's gonna get rough. Open bar in this case, open kitchen, hey, can I have some more lasagna? I've never, I've at least had a chef's table once and the chef wasn't paying much attention to us. And I think we just got sat there because it was an extra table in the restaurant.

So after a while, I have to go pee so I get up and I go and it's a one in one. It's a one or a one or a one or a one. I mean, one woman, one man or one. One man bathroom. So you got one for the man, one for the woman, but it's just a toilet inside of each one. It's door closes and locks and then it's not like multiple stalls and stuff like that. Very small, nicely appointed bathrooms. So I go and I- I think everything should be unisex with the bathrooms, by the way. Yeah, why not?

I love those restaurants where I go and it's just like, yeah. There's an open one, go. I agree with you. We went to brunch to somewhere today and they had a couple, it's a little like old house. They put this restaurant in, lovely place. And they had two bathrooms and they both, it just said vacant or not vacant. Yeah, exactly. And you just went,

right, that restroom is what it said. I agree with you. But I also understand that men and women use bathrooms in different ways. And let me explain. So I turn the corner and it's back in this back hallway. I turn the corner and I hit the door and it's locked. Obviously, and I'm like, okay, there's a chair sitting

next to the room so you can just wait. So I take a seat. And then surprise the person when they come wait. So I take a seat. And then surprise the person when they come out. That's exactly what happened. Did you do this shit in there? You put the seat down. Hey, got any blue?

Okay, so listen to the story. So I'm waiting three, four, five minutes, which is a long time to wait for a restaurant. I thought I'm not either. You're not nervous about what you're going into. I'm either gonna, four, five minutes, which is a long time to wait for a rest. Yeah. I'm not either. You're nervous about what you're going into. I'm either going to get the holy shit stink of holy shit stink. This guy just had a lasagna bomb and. And.

Yeah. Right. Reflect the teen you're at the city. We have the best to poop of bomb is in the world. So we have a whole lot of shit to soup. So after a minute, I can hear the door like kind of clicking. It takes a minute. The guy walks out full the

night, you know, suit tall guy, black on black on black suit. You know what I'm talking about? Black suit black shirt. Slightly gray tie, right? To give a little color of black suit. You know what I'm talking about? Black suit, black shirt, slightly gray tie, right? To give a little color, black shoes. But he's kind of a schmo, like, you know, he just kind of looks like a schmo. And whatever, I'm not making judgments.

But he comes out and he's, and then he turns around and gets scared. Exactly. He goes, oh, hey, yeah, there's another guy in there. Wait a minute. There's another guy in there. There's another guy in there. There's another guy in there. There's another guy in there.

And I go, oh, okay. And just be a minute. It'll be a minute. And I was like, oh, okay. They went to the bathroom together. They went to the bathroom together, which is highly unusual. Now, it's usually girls. It's usually girls that do that.

And while I've been in a few, you know, restroom stalls with men before, it was only to do blood. That was it. That's the only reason why you got, I mean, I know this because I am the guy who has been there and done that. I helped invent this.

I got kicked out of the Cheetah multiple times for being an installed another man. To the point where the Cheetah eventually took the doors off of the stalls because they had such a problem with people running in and doing cook. They had literally a security guard and they took the doors off of the stalls. So you have to take a shit. You're giving this army style.

Everyone was going to see it. So I'm like, okay. So then I wait another one, another two, another three minutes. And finally, and now I'm standing up, by the way, because now I'm getting a little, I'm getting a little irritated down. I'm like, I've been here for like seven minutes, eight minutes, nine minutes. This is a long time to wait for a bath, right?

So I was just about to get ready to knock on that door and up pops the guy, who's another schmo, who's dressed in a purple jacket with a black shirt and a black tie. He, again, I mean, it was ill fitting, it was whatever. Besides, they're close. He comes out and he is literally doing the dance with his nostrils. He's like, he's like wiping it off.

He's like, and I go, oh my god. Okay, guys, you know, I've done bumps before. It doesn't take eight minutes to do a bump, right? Just get in there, get in there, get your key in there and get done. I got a pee here. I got a pregnant wife. We're trying to have a nice night out. I can't be away for 15 minutes because you guys decided you're going in there and get done. I got a pee here. I got a pregnant wife. We're trying to have a nice night out. I can't be wait for 15 minutes

because you guys decided you're gonna blow some fat chunkies down there. What are you cutting it right off the brick? What's going on? So I walk in, I close the door. There's a little table where they have like that. Oh right, like, toy the paper and cleaning supplies and stuff like that.

But it's a nice table. It's got a little candle on it. There's a wet napkin that has been wiped across the top of this and just left there, but they didn't wipe the entire thing down. So what I see is the beginning of a line on one side of the wipe and the end of a line on the other side of the wipe.

And it's clear as day what they had been doing, right? They had been doing blow, which I knew. I mean, I knew, of course. But whatever, I don't give a shit. Yeah, no. What's really funny about this story is, I, you have to walk by this private room to go to the bathroom. So when I turn the corner and I walk by this private room, Chrissy, there's a guy with the purple one, right? The guy with the, with the guy with the big tall guy with the black on black suit is like in the middle of the crowd and he's like, you know, hey, hey, he's all hyped up.

I heard after his bathroom break. But what, but the guy that had the purple jacket on was close to the entrance. And what I heard was the most cocaine thing I have ever heard before in my entire life. If I could encapsulate that 15 minutes after you take your first bump after you've been drinking for a while, if I could encapsulate it in one conversation, I wouldn't encapsulate it in the one that I

heard walking by him. Here's what he said. It was a nice lovely young lady and a beautiful dress standing there. And as I'm turning the corner, he puts his arm around her like this and he goes, hey, my name's Ted. I don't think we've met before in person But I'm really excited to meet you This guy was going man That's the most co-cancin

That's why that's why people love it and hate it is because you're gonna know the coke dub guy He's not gonna shut the fuck up. He's gonna introduce himself. After 10 years of working with you, now all of a sudden he gives a shit about who you are. Right. And he was just like, he was so brave and he had so much courage and he was just like, Mr. On.

He was like, hey, I don't think I'm in front of a person, but I sure am glad to meet you. I was co-cating over. Oh my God. That's hilarious. I mean, we had a situation last Christmas where we had a waiter that was on it and we knew absolutely. Oh my God, was that us?

No, it was with Jeff and another friend of ours and this guy comes over and he is on fire and he's kind of sniffling and he's sweating a little. Oh yeah. He's like that. He's uncomfortable. Yeah. He laughed and I was sweating a little. And yeah. He's like that. He's uncomfortable. Yeah. He laughed and I was like, yeah.

Yeah, thank you. I think I know it's going on here. And it was that way all the rest of the night. Then a couple of weeks later after the new year, we went down to our little, and this was at a very nice Italian restaurant. Yeah, yeah. When he was, we saw him first and he was on the stuff,

then we go to another restaurant about a month later, and it's this little dive bar type place, and he's there now. The same guy. It's like, oh my god. Easier access to his drugs. That's a dive bar. I think you're probably gonna have a fire.

Ah yeah. I could, even though it happened just a few times Waiting tables and being on a stimulant like that is for me was a no go Because I just couldn't control myself. I was just like running around in circles Not looking anybody in the eye just like I just like, hey, my name is Ron, I've been taking care of you, it's nothing. I hope it does. That's exactly what he was like.

A little sweat. Yeah, like sweat, like when you get perspiration because you're doing blow, then you're uncomfortable high. Like you've done too much. You've taken one too much bump, and now all you wanna do is just come down a little bit, but the only thing you're going to do is do more cocaine. Okay.

All you wanna do is have a couple drinks and relax, but all what you're going to do is do more cocaine. All you want to do is have a couple drinks and relax, but all what you're going to do is find more cocaine. Because that's the way it works. And now, let me tell you the end of this story, which is like the most cocaine thing that I've ever seen happen and is playing itself out, by the way, in millions of restaurants across this country, as we speak, or tonight, wherever you're going, wherever you're going to a restaurant, look for these guys, right?

So we're leaving and everybody else is leaving too. Now, the whole party is leaving and we're also, okay. So as they're leaving, there's a group of them standing outside, obviously waiting for an Uber, something they're talking about where they're going next. So yeah, we're gonna join these, okay, I see you, Johnny,

buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh. Johnny! Johnny're going next. Oh, yeah, we're gonna Chinese. Okay. I see you Johnny's Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- of his friends cocaine. The guy in the black suit is running across the street to get into a car with other people. You can see it. And the guy in the purple suit is like, hey, hey, where you going? Are you driving with them? Can I drive with you? Can I ride with you?

Is it okay if I ride with you? And the guy in the black suit is like, no, man, I'll see you there. Not enough room. And the guy's like, okay, I'm gonna Uber. Wait for me. Make sure you wait for me. Yeah.

Are you sure there's not more room in that car? Because that's the car where all the cocaine's gonna be done and I really want some more. Been like 30 minutes and wearing that bathroom. I don't know if you know. I don't know if you know, but you need to keep doing it to feel good. Okay, all right, talk to you later.

Can I have half and I'll take it with me in this car? Yeah. It's unbelievable. It was unbelievable. The whole scene played out. And I worked in the restaurant just for so long. I saw this play out so many times. Oh yeah, I was listening to a podcast on the way here today.

And it was fresh air. I love that one. And it was just like the commercial break. Yeah, just it's very well respected. Yeah, it's well respected. One award. Not two words you're gonna hear associated with the commercial break. Well respected. Yeah, it's well respected. One award. Not two words you're gonna hear associated with the commercial break well respected They were interviewing a guy who just read an exposé about his he was a matter D at the finest restaurants in New York City

The finest restaurant Cocoa Club. Yeah, the Cocoa Deville. Yeah, and he's telling all of his stories I mean similar to some like kind of like an Anthony Bourdain, but Bourdain was the chef. This guy's the mayor D, and he's talking about all the things that happen, and I mean, coca and alcohol and sex were random. They go hand in hand. And ramp it in these restaurants.

Booze, blow, cigarettes and sex. Yeah. The restaurant industry, and especially the bar tending industry, the bar industry. Like if you work at a restaurant and there's a hop in bar that goes along with that restaurant, then you know it. And, but listen, owners of these restaurants aren't stupid. They tolerate a certain amount of this because the more, because if that one guy that's

quiet in the corner, right, can handle all of the customers in the restaurant, like if it's that one, there's always that one guy at the end of the bar who everybody seems to know, but no one's really talking to. That's the guy who's dealing out the cook. And the owner knows that he's good for business. So a smart owner of a restaurant just kind of lets it be. Unless he's causing any trouble or gets out of control, he just kind of lets it be. At least that's my experience from the restaurants

that I worked at. It was always very obvious. I mean, especially if you were working there, you knew the guy was. Of course you were. They're all the time. Different people come. It was always very obvious. I mean, especially if you were working there, you knew the guy was. Of course you were going to go. I hate there all the time. Yeah. Different people come up and say hello to him.

Because the people, that's right. The people who worked there were just as friendly as the people who were coming there. And it's usually the bartender who's the condo waiter. You know what, you know what, okay? They called this one guy. He was saying they called him doctor doers because he finished a bottle of doers every night.

Jesus. He bartended. Jesus. I had a friend that did, uh, what was it? What's that orange liquor that everyone likes? The grandma and yeah, grandma. That's what they called it grandma.

And they're would be, I don't like that stuff. Just shot after, shot after, shot of grandma. I did a lot, I drank a lot of grandma. Yeah. Because I found it to be at least a little bit palatable. Like I could, you know, I could shoot it down and it was at least a little bit palatable. But this guy would drink like half a bottle of grandma

every time. We were literally buying 12 bottles of grandma and yay a week. And we sold no grandma and yay. Because never in the history of ever has anyone ever said, can I get a grandma and yay on the ice? It just never happened. However, can I get a shot on the ice? It just never happened. However, can I get a shot of grandma with my blow

that you just sold me often happened? That's how it went down. And it was never charged. That never charged for it. The grandma comes with the bag. Don't worry about it, bro. Well, sometimes I really miss the restaurant industry. Because it's just like, I wish I had known then what I know now.

Right. I wish I could walk. There was no way to know that. Yeah, there was no way to see like the whole big picture. You just saw, you were part of it. It was a little ecosystem working, like a little beehive full of cocaine. And the people that were there and who liked to. Yes.

And who was sitting tables and who was to. And who was sitting tables. And who was, yeah. Who was at tables? Hostages were always too young and way hot. And you know, it was like, it was just like, you know, and then the waiters and the waiters is always like rotating who they're sleeping with. Who's got drama with who?

And the bartender, you know, it's like a whole ecosystem. You're right. Like a whole little, like world inside of a world. And when you're in it, it's hard to see the whole picture of it. But within five years of being out of it, I started to really piece it all together. I'm like, oh, the owner did let that drug dealer just sit there for years, years. Even though it was often talked about that all the guy was doing was buying one bud light and I and staying there for four hours handling handling business with every customer. But now I know why he did that because it was good for fucking business. Yeah, because people came in. They got a little too wasted. Yeah, they talked to

the bartender. The bartender said, I don't know. Talk to that guy, right? Yeah. And then they straightened up and they bought more fucking booze. That's what happened. Yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, bar business. Yeah, you know, you're, you're not gonna survive long as a late night bar, unless you have some of that going on at your restaurant, because that's just the way the world works. I, last night, it just gave me fun recollections of my days working in, especially the one bar that I worked out where it was like open till two in the morning.

It was a fine dining restaurant in the bottom, but upstairs, they had a rocket bar. And it was always open till two in the morning. It was a fine dining restaurant in the bottom, but upstairs they had a rockest bar. And it was always full, boom, boom, boom. It was a house from 1885, and they converted it into a restaurant in 1905, and it had been open since. And literally nothing had been changed about it. It was just a soul house.

And they would put a band in the corner of what they called the attic bar and the attic bar was no higher than they had like six and a half foot ceiling. The attic or the attic? Well, it depends on who you were. I read the side. They had a, but the ceilings were so low and then they had these tiny little tables that people would sit at.

They'd stuff a band in the corner. Oh yeah. I went barely enough for him. Ivory's was a place like that. The ceilings were so low, and then they had these tiny little tables that people would sit at, they'd stuff a band in the corner. Oh yeah, I went barely enough room. Iveries was a place like that where I lived. Yeah, yeah. It's a jazz club. As the general manager, I would have to sit there and close the restaurant, right? So there's one at three things to do.

I either sat downstairs, had a couple of bud lights, and chatted it up with whoever happened to walk downstairs because the bathrooms were downstairs Whoever happened to walk downstairs I chatted up with and maybe came friendly with everybody right or I would go upstairs and watch all of it go down or option number three Which was more than likely gonna happen on a Friday or Saturday night? I would partake in the action Yeah, I would be part of the action that was going on because what did I have to do? I just had to sit there with the keys and wait to lock the door right?

Presumably and I just watched to sit there with the keys and wait to lock the door, right? Presumably. And I just watched all of this shit transpire and now so many years later, I'm like, oh man, I was really, I wish I had known then what I know now because I would have had a fine appreciation for what was going on. And maybe known how to handle it just a little bit better than I did.

Because sometimes I had done it from the office, just wait, you're fucked up. I'd be like, ah. Give me that grandma. Give me that grandma. Give me four grandmas. They had another bag of blood. All right, why not?

Oh my God, the Coke Bros. Here's to the Coke Bros all around the world. Those two guys that go into the bathroom that are definitely not dating. Call them your Coke Bros and let it go. Those two guys that go into the bathroom that are definitely not dating. Call them your Coke Bros and let it go. And I really hope one of those two is listening to the show. I really do.

Cause they're gonna know who they are. They're gonna be like, oh shit, I was that guy right there. Wait, I have a purple jacket. I have a purple jacket. I was at a Christmas party last night. I was doing blow in the bathroom. I saw that guy when I walked out. I think he's talking about me. We're still up.

We get a message. Yeah. It's Coke, bros. We're still up. You guys hanging? You up? Yeah. You know where to get? You holding? You don't have a guy named Dee on here. Yeah, you tell, hey, can you get a hold of D? Oh, I really hope that D is listening. I really do. Sometimes I just want to see how he is, but I just don't even want to open up a candle. It's been like decades since I talked to him.

He's probably changed burner, phone, he's 30 times since then. He did text me actually, when I first met Astrid, he texted me one time from like a new phone number. He was like, hey, what up, a D. You know, my new number. Yeah, I didn't even respond. I was like, ah, I'm gonna go marry this woman.

I can't be up at the attic bar. Addict bar with D, hang it out. I think Astrid's to take kindly on that. Well, I would have married him except he's a Class A fuck up. You know what time it is. It's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break.

And I'll keep it short because you already know. 855, TCB8383. That's one, 855, TCB8383. Is how you get a hold of us directly. It's not a spam text message line. You can send us your comments, concerned or content ideas all through text message to 855 TCB 8383 if you're brave leave a voicemail We want to know about your favorite moment from season number three. That's all of 2022 any episode any clip any moment

Text us please let us know we've got a special surprise between season three and season four and we want you involved. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, you can also send us a message there, listen to all the audio or watch all the video. Better yet, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch full episodes in a whole new like. Watching the video version will give you extra tickles right in your pickles. One more tiny little favor, if you are ever in the market for our Sponsors products or services, please use the specialized URL's or codes or go to the website that we mention on those

advertisements so that the sponsors know we're doing a wonderful job. Let's listen to a word from those wonderful financial sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Alright everybody, I gotta let you know about our wonderful sponsors, Lululemon. Last week, I stopped by the Lululemon store to get myself a pair of joggers. You think Lululemon is just for yoga pants? You are wrong, just like I was. Lululemon can accommodate almost any piece of your wardrobe and they do it in style and

in comfort. It's the most cozy, the most comfortable, the most flattering, active and casual wear you will ever purchase. And now Lululemon is a sponsor of the commercial break. So go to Lululemon.com. This holiday season, their website has hundreds of different styles for men and for women. Jackets, slacks, hoodies, sweatshirts, socks, underwear, and yes, active wear, it's all available at LuluLemon.com. Guys, don't be shy, I swear, these are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn,

I'm saying it again. Never did I picture myself a LuluLemon kind of guy, and now I'm sold for life. Chrissy got a jacket, she's in love with it, Astrid's ordered some apparel for after the baby comes, and now I am eyeing some slacks for Christmas. So go to lululemon.com, get comfortable, get cozy, get lululemon this holiday season. For anyone who needs a little comfort in their life, lululemon.com, and we wanna thank

Lululemon for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. Well, you know, Chrissy is getting toward Christmas time, and I thought that as a special treat to the listeners and to you, you know, Chrissy is getting toward Christmas time and I thought that as a special to, special treat to the listeners and to you, my friend, that we would review some of this year's holiday gifts that are really on fire. Oh, okay. So I was trolling on the internet. No, as you do.

As I do like to do. And this might not be this year's hottest holiday gifts, but in 1985, this was the hottest holiday gifts you could get. It was, I wanna tell you about this company. So when I was in Chicago, there was this company, you would see these commercials, especially around Christmas time on the local TV stations. Yes.

Coming from a company called Ronco. Ronco. Ronco. Made by Ronco. It was like this, you know, like very announcer, voicey type stuff. And they always had these like neat, key-chey products that to me as a child were interesting.

Yeah, sounds good. Because I was like, oh cool, they made that, like an actual record, something you play on a record player. They had a record cleaner that would spin and clean it, right? They were like, by Ronco, makes a great holiday gift. And I would watch all these commercials. I always remember like the Rongo gift commercials

were fantastic because they were interesting to me as a child and then I'm sure as adults, it was kind of like it. I don't know, what's a shop? It's useful. Yeah, what's a shop that sells the nicks in the Nax now? Like a Brooks Throne, Sharper Emmons, something like that.

And so this company was one of those early on through the television and here's what I've noticed. And you'll notice this as of those early on through the television. And here's what I've noticed. And you'll notice this as we go through these package of commercials too. A lot of these things were weird items back in the day, in the 80s, in the mid to the late 80s. However, in some way, shape, or form, they have survived to today. They have different, like they actually became popular items and are now made by hundreds of companies because they were good But back then it was made by Ronco, right a cheap shitty product against So you want to go through I got a list or I got a founder video with all the Ronco commercials

For holiday time put together and so here's our annual TCB holiday gift buying guide, Ronco. Circa 1985. Circa 1998. Circa, you won't find it in this exact. Of course, you have the obligatory white noise. Yeah. And in front of it.

Where can you buy smokeless ash trays that help eliminate offensive cigarette and cigar smoke at the Ronco gift center? And where can you buy the electric foodie hide raider that makes delicious apple snacks and naturally sweet banana chips? At the- You can dry your cocaine on it. Ronco gift center.

At the Ronco gift center, you'll find the autocuff, the amazing no-spill cup, the Rancor battery tester, it tests double A, C, D, even nine volt batteries. The Rancor record vacuum protects your records by keeping them dust and static free. And don't forget Mr. Dennis, the fabulous tooth polisher. It helps remove unsightly from the body. This is all stuff that we use. It makes my, my, my, my, my, I don't even know some other companies of this and glorified it. To my knowledge, this is like the first,

and I actually Google this, this is like maybe the first electric toothbrush outside of an actual dentist office. It's the first electric toothbrush. Now, if you don't have an electric toothbrush, I think you're kind of gross. I'm just saying. I'm a whiteener on those two.

Oh my God, well, that's because he's been using the Ronco Smokless filter. Yeah. I don't even know someone that owns an astray anymore. Do you own an astray? I think we have one from long ago that is a good one. For your dippity dabs. Cool one. And then we just never got rid of it. I don't think I have.

I used to have an astray in every corner. And now I don't even know where to find an astray. I think in Walmart, you can probably still buy an astray. I corner and now i don't even know where to find an assray i think it will mark you probably still by an astray i would imagine maybe the same thing the miracle brumas great for all small clean up the rolam the miracle brum it's like a mini vacuum a dustbuster and this is the first one as your great for your measuring needs the inside the eggshell eggscrumb are perfectly blends the egg white and you know

now i don't think that could... No, wait, they're going to actually have commercials for each of these, and so I want to wait until we get through them, but I want to talk a little bit about the eggscrackers, or once we get that. Then five seconds, and where can you buy the sensational Mr. Microphone that actually puts your voice on the radio? That's how we got a podcast. We started on Mr. Microphone.

I had one of these as a kid. You tune in to the right radio station and it would go through. And it was never quite to go through. Yeah, it was always like, RUNCO GIFSENTER. Solve all your Christmas shopping in just one place. The RUNCO GIFSENTER. Quality GIFSENTER, SALVE ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING IN JUST ONE PLACE, THE RUNCO GIFSENTER, QUALITY GIFS AT A FORDERBLE PICES.

Byronco! This is awesome guys. What removes all kinds of offensive odors, unhealthy tobacco smoke, irritating pollen and dust from the indoor air you breathe, it's the- It's Karen! Amazing clean air byronco, Clean Air by Ronco. Clean Air by Ronco can filter all the air at a 15 by 20 foot room in 33 minutes.

It's quiet and I'm a little bit of a fire place. Where did Ronco get a bad bedroom like that? It's probably the owner of the Ronco products. He's probably like, he's probably some disco co-cat. Say it, I mean, I don't know. I don't really know him. But this is true. Like, I mean, even though when I started to grow up,

when I started to smoke cigarettes, people were really kind of getting offended by cigarette smoke and it was making its way outdoors for sure. I do remember a time when smoke, when you would walk into a place and it might be smoky because people were smoking. I remember a time when you could walk into the airport and people were smoking cigarettes,

they're in the open and it would get smoky so there had they have one of the first like air filters for your actual home electric van draws contaminated air through the activated charcoal filter offensive odors and smoke are removed harmful pollutants and i had had this one niko was alive i need to wrinkle and the cold. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oster trapped. Now your family can breathe clean the odorized air every day.

Clean air by Ronco gets rid of strong kitchen odors, foul bathroom odors and licked. I just took a hot shit. They're foul. Here's the other thing. The guy, the second guy in the bathroom could have just had to take like a cocaine dump, like in my store, in the, from the, the bar last night the bathroom could have just had to take like a cocaine dump like in my store in Yeah, from the the bar last night. Yeah, I just had to take a cocaine dump because sometimes that happens You get the balls start moving once you do coffee

You're in pet odors before they're trapped in draperies fabrics on furniture even your clothes for larger rooms get the giant clean air Three it has triple filtering capacity. Smoke field. That looks awful FALIC doesn't it? You just be putting right there in the middle of a room Like a big dick down in your smoke Uses and conference rooms right now. So right now they're showing the conference rooms that are just full of smoke I am everybody smoking it up those movies from the 80s show that so like mr. Mom I feel like there's a scene in Mr. Mom where they go Oh yeah, sometimes watching those old movies you're like wow everybody was smoking I was watching Apollo 13 the other day

Yeah, the every person in that movie is smoking cigarettes except for the astronauts every person is smoking cigarettes Eat clean air by Ronco restaurants and public places need clean air by Ronco allergy sufferers Definitely need clean air by Ronco show you really care need clean air by Ronco. Allergy sufferers definitely need clean air by Ronco. Show you really care. Give clean air by Ronco. What? What the last scene is a baby sitting there drinking milk? Show you really care about your kid by smoking in the room.

I'm getting a new filter by Ronco. A great Christmas gift. 1998, that was a price. That's a lot of money back then. That's probably the equivalent of what? $6,000 in inflation. And now, yeah. Sitting all day in this cab gives me a pain in my back. I sit here for hours and I always end up getting a bad pain in my back.

Sitting here in traffic gives me a throbbing pain and a lower part of my back. Where are the geniuses who came up with this fucking commercial? Let's have six people in a row say the exact same thing. What do you think? Brilliant! Go to print! Buy Ronco! I said at the job for hours and point to ice up on the back if you're like if you're like me you've got a pain in your back cut to a guy that's in a suit with like a spotlight he's got a spotlight and he's reading a book i'm just wondering what exactly is he reading

yeah i don't know is it like having a book in front of him like while he's reading a book in a suit he were interrupting his book reading. What exactly is he reading? And does that make him look more professional? I think that's what it is. I've been reading scientific data on back pain, and I found that OxyCotten helps. Oh, God.

Most of us, too much sitting, can get anyone a pain in the back. But now there's an answer. It's not a drug, it's not a pill. It's back relief by Ronco. A scientifically designed portable air cushion that automatically supports your tired It taken in conjunction with your drugs and your pills. Ronco's back cushion works wonderfully.

I'm sorry, but this Ronco product looks like it causes more back pain than it's It says that looks like a heart massageer. It really is uncomfortable. And is it worthless? It's a justifiable vibrating. I don't think anything back then was cor It says that looks like a car, a mousager. Yeah, it's a cigarette. It really is uncomfortable.

And is it cordless? It's a just a little vibrating. I don't think anything back then was cordless. No, that's what I'm thinking. I mean, how do you put it in your car? Yeah, I don't know. It probably plugged in the cigarette lighter, which there are no more of those anymore.

Actually, I have a brand new, I got a car, a loner car from the dealership right now. It's got a cigarette lighter in it. A cigarette lighter. You have to pay extra. I'd actually look this up. You have to pay extra for the actual lighter part of it, but it's like $40, but it's got a plug.

It's got the USB thing. It's got the little hole where you would put the lighter, and you can get it, you just have to pay for it. Side unit can be positioned for concentrated relief. If you need back relief or you know someone who needs back relief, give them the perfect Christmas gift. Vigilin! or you know someone who needs back relief, give them the perfect Christmas gift. Vagatin! And they'll say, bye bye, backache. Bye bye, backache.

Bye bye, backache. Bye bye, backache. Bye bye, backache. I suffered with backache. What a great Christmas gift. Bye bye, backache. Bye bye. Bye bye, backache. That cake. Baa-baa. Baa-baa-baa cake. Baa-baa-baa cake.

Vigganon plus this ronco product by Bronco. Brian. Bronco. Yeah, by Bronco. Need an air filter? Try some cocaine with it. By Bronco. Battery's included. Oh, batteries are included.

Battery. Those things are expensive back then. Your dentist doesn't clean your teeth with a toothbrush. Oh, batteries are included. Oh, batteries are included. Those things are expensive back then. Your dentist doesn't clean your teeth with a toothbrush. Why should you? Introducing Mr. Dentist. With your favorite toothpaste, Mr. Dentist helps remove his teeth. Oh yeah, look how yellow those teeth are. They're red.

Tobacco and coffee stains. And this is electric toothbrush. When we say this, we're not talking about like a, like you think of an electric toothbrush. Now, we're thinking about that little drill that spins around at your dentist's office. Yeah, and it's like, it's just, it's just a rubber piece of rubber that spins around. I was wondering how that got your teeth clean. How exactly does that clean your teeth? I guess it's, I don't know, friction or something. I'd like tobacco and coffee stains. Mr. Dentist comes with a flashlight dental mirror, and now for the first time at home,

you can see all the cleaning that has to be done. It's very horrifying. I don't want to look at the backside of IT, I'm not interested. I clean them, I don't want to look at them. I'm kind of scared of what I'll find back there. Shin really does the job. If you brush your teeth this way, it's wrong, but with Mr. Dennis... You're wrong.

If you brush your teeth this way, fuck you! You're an asshole, byronco! You can't go wrong. Its low torque motor drives the cleaning head to help you clean it. That's important, at least it's low torque. Yeah, low torque is key to cleaning your mouth and whiter teeth. Now you can clean your child's teeth. So easily and youngsters will clean their teeth more often because it's really fun to use. Mr. Dent. I don't think anything makes kids want a

bruster teeth. Luckily my children, they agree because they know it's just part of the routine because of you's just part of the routine, because you made it part of the routine. But for the first three months of both of them brushing their teeth, it was like a major nightmare to get them to agree to brush their teeth. And that was a major nightmare, just to get them to hold still

so I could put the actual toothbrush in their mouth. There's nothing that makes brushing teeth fun for kids. They don't like it. It's something that you don't want that thing in your mouth. This is safe for dentures and bridge work by a separate Mr. Dennis for your dog. Oh, you're a dog tooth right? You know, this reminds me like when Nico was alive and now that in blue, there are every time I go to the vet, the vet who was just a lovely human being, but they're all like it's like a broken fucking record. Make sure you get in there and brush your teeth once

a week and I'm like once a week, you want me to blame fucking a toothbrush in my dog's mouth once a week I Can't even get my dog to shit outside. How do you expect me to get it to sit for a tooth cleaning once a week? Crazy now. That's why you take the dog to the vet. Yeah, that's right. Well then they got to put them out Yeah, it's a $500 get that done teeth will sparkle to you. Maybe worth it. Oh well Yeah, we do it once a year though, not once a week. Come on, give you a break. Your dentist comes with two separate cleaning heads, the flashlight dental mirror, and Pearl

drops tooth polish. It makes the perfect Christmas gift, and it's only 1995. Did it did do? Whip? Whip? It's a noise. I gotta get some cocaine! I gotta be crazy!

I'll play the egg one. I gotta get some cocaine! I'm gonna be crazy! I don't believe the egg one is egg. We sell a lot of records. Oh no, it's the record. It's a vinyl cleaner. Records cost a lot of money.

But what good is spending a lot of money if your records don't sound good because of dust and static electricity. That's why I recommend to all our customers the new record vacuum by Ronco. It's so easy to use. Just insert any size record, 33 and a third, 45, 78s. The new record vacuum automatically vacuums away all the micro dust particles that distort sound and can damage your needle. It also eliminates. You don't want to damage needle. Let me tell you about that. You can also just use a brush. Yeah, you can also just take a cloth and just wipe it off.

Paper towel would do the same thing. Static electricity buildup. The record backing by Roncoe protects your records and gives you all the quality sound you hate. You want to move in to keep Danas too, or having? The best dude we're listening to, I don't know what it's like. Moonlight Sonata, next to the fire drinking circle line. Very wine. Yeah. Someone's got a bag of blows somewhere because it's 1985.

Yes. Sound like... It reminds me of that scene from American Psycho. I'm getting down to hear what you're losing the news about to slice someone's head off. Yep. For the price of a couple of albums, protect your records and prevent damage to your needle. If you want the best possible sound from all your records, get the new record vacuum by Ronco. In fact, by two or three, they really do make great Christmas gifts.

And the rule? Hey, Bob. I want to thank you for all the years of friendship. I really appreciate you being me at Bailing Out of Jail a couple of times. And I know you also looked after my wife, Lausanne, rehab. I got you a record vacuum for Christmas. It really does make a great Christmas gift. Yeah, but back then, you know, you need to keep record clean.

I'm pretty sure that it's a bad Christmas gift back then and today. Yeah, you just have to leave yourself. Yeah, you get one for yourself not for your friends. Yeah All right now I think we got the egg yolk This thing is interesting. What's that this thing looks interesting? Yeah, it is but it also looks highly dangerous Today most everything works on batteries. How you want me to fast forward to the egg thing here Okay, this one's kind of boring because it's a battery tester, which we all, I actually have one of those.

I mean, don't you know your battery's dead when it doesn't work anymore? No, but that's the thing, here's the most interesting thing I'm going to tell you, that I did not know through 40 plus years of life until the other day. My remote control for my TV starts kind of acting wonky. It's that sign, and you can see that the lights a little bit low. It's got like a blue light every time you press it, and like the blue light is kind of getting a little wonky. So I'm like, time to change the batteries.

Change those batteries, like once a year, right? Yeah. And so I'm like, okay, so I have this whole, like they call it the battery suitcase or something. You can put all your batteries, organize them, and then it comes with a battery tester. Oh nice. So I go to test the batteries just to make sure

that what I'm seeing is that they're dead. First time I've probably ever tested a battery in my entire life. And what I found was, one was perfectly good. Perfectly good. And the other one was dead. Yeah, that's an old trick. I've always tried to switch in a new one. Switch in a new one.

But now you can do that with confidence. The battery tester by Bronco. Now you can do that with confidence. Do two lines. Put it against your tongue. Do you have rechargeable batteries? Because I just ordered some rechargeable batteries. I have rechargeable batteries.

And I find them to be pretty miserable actually. That's what Jeff said, but I was like, nope, I'm forgetting them. Yeah, you're getting them. I got them for, like I have aable batteries and I find them to be pretty miserable actually. That's what Jeff said, but I was like, no, I'm forgetting them. Yeah, you're getting them. I got them for, like I have a safe in the house and the safe runs on, like has some batteries component to it. Yeah. And I got them for that.

Because they're different kind of batteries. So I got them rechargeable kind. But I've only charged them three times in the three years that I've had this particular safe. And they're already like, they're lasting less and less time every time I do. Interesting. But there's something about it. I've been trying for myself.

No one can tell me. No one can tell you shit, Chrissy. If you want to plug your remote control batteries in like a Tesla every night, feel free to get those rechargeable batteries. Well, I changed three channels time to recharge those batteries. I also got some from my Nest Outside. Like, I have a battery operated one. And literally, we were changing the Nest batteries.

At the end, we were changing it like every three weeks. It started off with three months, and now it's three weeks. And I'm sure if I was still using the battery, I'd be three days. You know what I thought I'd use them for, are things that were just specifically Christmas related. Like, I've got these like sparkly tree things. Oh, okay.

And I only use it for a month, so. So you can recharge the batteries. But you gotta have like extra is that you can rotate out, right? Well, I'm not putting any more in there. They're out. They're going back in storage. The decorations are good. Oh, okay, so you're just using the rechargeable batteries.

You're using it for a month and then you're gonna throw away the rechargeable batteries. Now we're gonna save this. Oh, you're gonna put them, you're gonna charge them. And then you're using it for a month and then you're going to throw away the rechargeable batteries. Now we're going to save them. Oh, you're going to put them, you're going to charge them. Yes. And then you're going to use them next year. Yes. Okay.

Let's see how that works. I'll report back. Okay, I'm much for the rechargeable batteries. I can't remember. They're like twice this price of the regular batteries, right? Something like that. So wouldn't it just stand a reason to just go get some cheap batteries for the thing you're gonna use them up for a month? I'm trying this out of esthenate. All right. It's not saving anything. You're not saving the planet.

Sound like it's just a bad idea. No, you do your rechargeable experiment. You let us know how do you have a note pad yet where you can let it follow up and Bring it next time. Okay. That'll be my gift Is the show. Yeah. Which the rechargeable batteries are the note both. Okay. Just check. It's all probably not like this Christmas. I'm chicken in on you. Why don't you bring the rechargeable batteries here and we'll run the studio off of it. Yes. My family. Because we are sucking a bunch of energy around here. Yeah. It's me, the gift of health. It's the new electric food dehydrator and yogurt maker by Ronco. And it does something I took off. I've been drying my weed out here. Yeah, why go up? Why go through all that drama?

Hang it outside and evading the police officers with your purple nerples and your dittity dabs. Why not just put it in the Ronco Food Dehydrate? For all your sticky-cheesey. I can't. Yeah, by the way, why does a food dehydrator work exactly? Oh, they're popular. Oh, they are?

Yeah. What does it do? Just sucks the air out of it? Yeah, thanks. It's right, mind-gut. It came as part of it. Because your batteries don't work, because you're usually just doing

rechargeable batteries. Get yourself some real batteries. It's part of my, I got one of those like 12 and one air fryer. Oh, okay. Crockpot, air fryer, dehydrator, sous-v, and I haven't tried any of them. Jesus Christ, how big is this thing? It's been.

The size of refrigerators. Jeff was not excited. I bet he wasn't, I wouldn't be either. I can't say it's right there on the counter. I would be like, why do we have to have all these things in one? Why couldn't we just get one of something? No, it seems like it was great. Chrissy's all about being economical right now.

I get it. I get it. You're trying to maximize the space and the living conditions and trying to help the earth and all that other shit. Yes. What you're doing is just causing a lot of confusion around the house. Jeff's got to recharge his batteries. He's constantly flipping them in and out and then you're,

hey honey, can you fry the food in the dehydrator? In the what? Which mode do I put it on? Honey, just try that. I put it on the suck and it went to blow. It costs under $20. The recipe book tells you how to make delicious apple snacks, naturally sweet banana chips, dried vegetables and herbs of all kinds, even milk, dry pees.

Yeah, that's a nice one. I enjoy more than dried peas. They're like this little green peas. I know, kind of. They were dried. Yeah, that's gross. Sweet dried peas. Peas? Really?

Jied broccoli. Yeah, and so now she's making beef jerky. Isn't beef jerky take like months to make? I think so. Even in a food dehydrator? Yeah, I should try it then. Food. And dehydrated foods have fewer calories.

And are a heck of a lot better for my family than junk foods. Just slice your favorite fruits. Yeah, because nothing the kids like more than some beef jerky with dehydrated peas. Yeah, some jerky and peas kids. Now it's jerky and peas for breakfast kids. It's got less calories. Because the Ronco product literally sucked anything good out of it. Yes. Those or meats into small portions Place on the trays and the electric food dehydrator does the rest no additives and no preservatives Save money by drawing mushrooms, parsley, onions, peppers and spices of all kinds. The food dehydrator is also a homemade yogurt maker. Oh

Jesus The food dehydrator is also a homemade yogurt maker. Oh, Jesus. How does it work? I want to know how it works. How does your dehydrator work? You haven't used it yet. You haven't used it yet? No. OK, make some dried teas and bring them in for the last show of the year.

Yeah, I want to get on this brand new craze sweeping the days. I think it takes hours to do. I mean, with the Ronco product, it must take days. Let me dig out my instruction. Yeah, you don't make a jerky sweeping the day. I think it takes hours to do. I mean, with the wrong co-product, it must take eight days. Let me dig out my instruction. Yeah, you don't make jerky in a day. I mean, I think jerky takes a long time. At least a jerky I've had.

That's pretty tough. Unless you have like beef jerky sticks. Ballet. I'm more of a slim gym guy myself. I'm more of a juicy kind of jerky kind of guy. You know, say juicy jerk because when you bite into a slim gym, it's like it's like juicy. It's a lot of fat and oils and stuff. But then I've had some jerky that's like absolutely no moisture content. No, it's so hard. You're like ripping your teeth out. Yeah, I don't like it, but I know lots

of people who do, but I do not like that kind of jerky. I don't like it tender jerky. Yeah, me too. I like a tender jerk. If you're looking for a tender jerk, I'm here for you girls. I have to believe that something that does so much cost under $20. This Christmas gift, the gift of health, the electric food, the high rateer and yogurt maker by Ronco. It costs under $20 because you don't know what it fucking does and it's gonna take 17 days to make beef jerky.

That's what they don't tell you on there. Is it how much air could a motor pull out of there? And can't- I'm doing an experiment. Yeah, you must. You must. I must. We must go get you some strips of like some strip loin

or something, put it in there and make some jerky. I'm stupid. Alright, bring it here, put a little salt and pepper on it, put some jabasco on it, whatever you need to do.ky. All right, bring it here, put a little salt and pepper on it, put some javasco on it, whatever you need to do. Make some jerky, bring it here, we'll taste test it later. Okay, okay. Are you gonna write that down? Yeah.

Okay. I can't wait until this little egg thing comes on. Okay, I know. Actually, I'm gonna write this down, Mom, or doing this. What, to get an egg thing? Oh, here it is. Lean strips of beef. Introducing the inside the egg shell, egg scrambler.

This amazing new kitchen appliance perfectly scrambles an egg inside the shell. I'm sorry, but this looks like a finger scrambler is what this looks like. It's unneedled to get stuck into the egg and then it scrambles the inside of the egg without breaking the shell. Isn't that hard to scramble in an egg? I have, I can't cook macaroni and cheese. Like I should be part of the class action lawsuit against craft. It's not that hard to scramble eggs.

I've done it successfully before. Introducing the inside the egg shell, egg scrambler. This amazing new kitchen appliance perfectly scrambles an egg inside the shell. Here's how it works. Just push the egg onto the motor driven needle and the egg scrambler an egg inside the shell. Here's how it works. Just push the egg onto the motor driven needle. And the egg scrambler automatically blends the egg wide and yoke in less than five seconds, giving you a perfectly blended egg. Compare it.

I'm not sure that this is a product that's ever been needed. Yeah, and with that needle sticking out, right? It's dangerous. Yeah, all it takes is just one wrong move and you're going to have, you know, it's going to be a finger mingler by bronranca I could also see the egg breaking and flying. Oh, yeah, this is a whole disaster waiting to happen I think this is a product. There shouldn't be other shelves of I'm being honest probably it is not yeah You don't find an automatic egg scrambler in Walmart and they sell a lot of bullshit over there Scrambled the old ones over there last night, and let me tell you there's there's nothing like a Walmart It is a truly unique American experience, and I'm not saying anything against Walmart.

They sell cheap clothing and cheap food and cheap products to people who need who are desperately just trying to survive, including myself. So I go there, not often, but I go there, enough, right, 10, 15, 20 times a year. It's an extremely unique American experience, and Christmas time, it doubles. It doubles. It's like 100 extremely unique American experience. Oh, I know. And Christmas time, it doubles. It doubles.

It's like 100% unique American experience in the summer, but then going Christmas time, it's like 200% unique Americans' family. People are all over the place. They are yelling and screaming at each other. They are tearing things off shelves. They're getting in each other's way. They are buying bullets from the counter.

It's a whole fucking disaster going on over there. And forget about the electronics department. Don't even be started on that. Fashioned way. With the revolutionary inside the eggshell egg scrambler. Look at the difference. Scrambled eggs and on. What in the look at the difference.

Well, it's not only guaranteed to look better, but taste better or you get your money back. And when making French toast. No way. It's a taste difference. Yeah, who's giving you your money back on a 1999 egg scrambler? Dear Uncle, this is Judy in Pennsylvania. I've lost three fingers from your egg scrambler and they don't taste different. I'd like my money back, please send care of Judy in Pennsylvania.

4044444 name street, who is asking for their money back. That's the thing about money back guarantees. No one ever asked for their money back. So they know it's a bunch of bull shit. The old fashioned way, the egg white sticks to the sides and your French toast ends up looking like this. With the inside the eggshell eggscrambler, French toast will always come out perfect.

The eggscrambler is sensational for creamier custard, hollandaise sauce, or homemade eggnog. And if your kids hate the look of runny, slimy egg whites, get the new inz... Who is making runny, slimy egg whites? What the fuck is that? I don't know. You didn't cook them long enough.

I just had three eggs this morning. I said sunny side up, and the only thing that was runny and slimy was the yolk. But that's what I asked for. Exactly. Side the eggshell, eggs clamber by runco. The egg clear here. Well, because they're trying to give you an example. Right.

But there's also, you know, there are chickens that have, they, they, every once in a while, they have a clear egg. Yeah. Okay. I gotta get some cocaine! I gotta be crazy! Makes a great Christmas gift. And it's, do you know where this comes from?

This comes from one of our episodes. I gotta get some cocaine! I gotta be some cocaine! Don't have any crazy! Yeah, that's you. Yeah, that's me saying that. So, you know, we have an editor now, like an audio editor,

so that I can actually see my family at night, which is a nice change of events, and I'm sure it saved my marriage. So, my wife, it's, so now I just check, I just do it once over, right? To write the show notes and make sure that everything sounds good and Christine, that does a wonderful job. So I really, we have to check.

But because I can't be bothered to listen to an hour of myself talking, I put it on fast forward. I do it at like two times the speed of the normal. And I actually find us to be quite, I actually find us to be much more funny, sped up. Oh, that's a people should do, man. I know, listen to it. Listen to it two X.

I guarantee it'll be funny. Only 12, 88. Oh, 12, 88. That's a price change for Ronco. That is. Probably because they have a warehouse full of eggs scramblers. They can't get rid of people. I like to wash it by ten cents. What's the problem there? Oh my god.

Wouldn't it be nice to drink a hot cup of coffee on the way to work each morning, but you can't because ordinary son of a bitch I drink. I'm like, girl, that myself again. He's got like a full blown coffee mug. That's how he did it back then. Yeah, because there was no such thing as like a portable to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now that you know, we all have addictions to our personal water devices or coffee devices or whatever it is.

But back then, you had a mug or a cup or you could get like a plastic to go cup or whatever was styrofoam to go cup. But it wasn't very common. And you certainly didn't go to the coffee shop to get your coffee. You either made fucking... You had to do it at home.

Sanka at home? Yeah, the answer. Coffee. It's to coffee or you were going through a lot of drama to make yourself a cup. Cup spill. Introducing Auto Cup by Ronco. The amazing no spill cup.

Just press the lever and drink. Release it and it's automatically sealed. Oh my God, that's the world's biggest to go cup. It's got a whole fucking contraption on the top of it. I just laid it down, like just throw it to the back. Ah! They didn't have cup holders in those early cars. Yeah.

AutoCups Carrying Strat makes it great for golfers, bikers. Hey Bob, what's that? Hey Bob, what's that fucking ridiculous thing around your neck? Oh, it's my cup by Ronco. You have coffee in there? Say, that's great. Well, I wanted to bring my mug to the golf to the golf game but yeah no I didn't want to spill it everywhere. Skiers, boaters, even truckers, auto cup by Ron. And women? What about them? A great Christmas gift and it's only 588.

588. I dare you to walk into a fucking Starbucks and look for a to go cup for five 88, it won't happen because they are now, because water cups are so, or coffee cups, these traveling coffee cups are like collector's items and people spend so much money on them that every Christmas when I go into Starbucks, I have a cup that I've had for four years from Starbucks.

Same cup, you know, it's just one of those coffee cups. Reasonable cup. Reasonable cup. Every year I go in there, every year I see something that I like, every year I go, this is fucking ridiculous, I'm not paying $60 for a goddamn mug. I'm just not doing it.

Yeah. It's not a collector's item to me. It's just something that's a utilitarian thing that I use. And you have a great history with figuring out what collector's items are. And with that- It's crazy. And with that I want you to leave the studio.

It's gonna be a great season 4 without Chrissy here. Come on back to the DCV. Oh. Well, there's your holiday gift buying bot got holiday gift buying guide. There you go. Yeah, so if you find anything by Ronco and you'd like to add some drugs and make it by Bronco, let me know. We'll get it together. Our dupedy dabs, our stickety stickety's, our guminy gummies. We'll do it all together guys. Don't be the Coke Bros. Go into the bathroom by yourself. You're all big boys. You can go to the bathroom by yourself. If you're doing cocaine and you can't

figure out how to pass the cocaine, then you know, there's nothing's going to happen in that bathroom stall together that's going to be magical. It doesn't make the cocaine any better that you do it with both of you together. And it just takes up time in the bathroom when I could be peeing. I got things to attend to. I'm not doing drugs anymore. I got more time on my hands. To observe the people that are doing drugs. That's right. I need to go observe more people doing drugs. What are you thinking in there? And that when you wipe up, at least wipe up the whole table, how do they do just one swipe

and then they left half the line? They were jacked. I did the line and I felt better afterwards. Food tasted better after I got done with it. DCVpodcast.com, that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I. You can read all the show notes. You can get all of our audio and all of our video.

Listen to it, watch it right there from tcbpodcast.com. And what we'd love you to do is hit the contact us button. And question comments, questions, comments, or concerns were taking them all at that contact us form. But the most important thing is content ideas. If you wanna hear Chrissy and I talk about something, you have an interesting story, you wanna tell us about yourself, send it on in.

And it's likely you'll end up on the show. Why? Because we do 7,000 hours of this. We have the, we're gonna send this out on Instagram pretty shortly. We have the Spotify wrapped for the commercial break. Now talk about this more next episode. But I can't believe how well the commercial break, it's like flooring me, we put out 7,218 minutes of content

in 2022, 7,000 minutes of content. We are idiots, 855, T-C-B-8383, 1-855, T-C-B-8383 from anywhere in the world. Send us those comments, concerns, questions, content ideas. Ask for our advice. Tell us a story. We just want to hear more about you. And please like, rate, and review on your favorite podcast player. I love you. I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say, and we must say. Bye! on till next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say bye!さあ 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か 何か you you