The Commercial Break - The Salmonella Diet!

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

Bryan visits family for the holiday only to catch a raging case of Salmonella that ALMOST stops TCB in tracks...almost. Krissy recalls her trip to see extended family and the two agree that men are children whenever they are ill. Mtach.com rolls out it's new marketing angle: I want to date an adult. Tinder keeps trolling the humans of earth with its awful application. Kid Rock is discussed as his new video has raised the bar for all other "wanna be" bad musicians. Finally, Mark Gormley is dug up for the online archives and the gang review an interview from his golden years....2009. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's continuing coverage of Holiday 2021. A Krab Apple tradition like almost any other continues this year for the 14th year in a row as our friend Derek and his imaginary friend Little Derek put on their annual holiday parade on the pulpit of St. Crab Apple's Church. Let's go live now as we are in the third act of Derrick and imaginary Derrick's holiday parade. When I was making secret, you saw me on the floor. You've been my days loving for my movement.

You hear and understand me, you know my every thought. Your skillful head has made me who I am. I will play you. Try and carefully make all my days you have planned for me! Can I always be a sacrifice of praise for I am fearful and wonderful? Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I will praise you, fry him fearfully made, oh my days you Oh, wonderful it is to see Derek and imaginary Derek continue that friendship 14 years in a row I wish I had a friend like praise for you too, for me. On this episode of the commercial break...

You just want to die. I just want to die. I honestly do. I'll pick her all at all. I've lost nine pounds and eight pounds in three days. It's unbelievable actually. How much weight I've lost. Hey, this is great.

Die it. I look great. Don't I look great? Yeah. Besides the pale lips. That's teacin' We can help our parents. You gotta do the commercial break. My wife's like, take a day off,

and I'm like, give the people what they want. She's like, what people? What people? What are you talking about? He's so silly. The whole, their whole messaging now is, I want to date an adult. I want to date someone who's going to call me back. Is it that E-Harmony's position?

I think E-Harmony's position is, if you're in your 70s and you don't know how to work the computer, E-Harmony has you covered. If you're in your 70s and you don't own a phone that gets online, we have you covered. We've got a job. Go to your dial up. E-Harmony, a DSL. A match made in heaven. That's right, AOL.com. AOL.com Earthlink.

Yes. That's all the offers that's coming in with everything that's going on like Jimmy Kimmelive and some of those things. Do you plan on accepting any of those? The offers? Not now. Um, that now, maybe three or four years from now after the moment is bad. Hey Jimmy, do you mind if I could run in a couple years? Yeah, I can just go ahead and book me four years from now. Do you mind if I learn how to play guitar again in the next, come on. Then okay with you, unbelievable. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

That's another episode of the commercial break! Hey! How are you? I'm good. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Haudley. Happy Holidays! Best of you, Chrissy! Best of you, Brian and always! I made it.

I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it.

I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. Just best to you, I feel like if we have too many taglines, if we give the people too many choices, we give you the listeners too many choices, you're gonna get confused on what you should say.

Like a cheesecake factory menu. That's right. Speaking of cheesecake factory menu, I'm barely here. Yeah. Because I'm dealing with a raging case of salmonella. Yeah. Unbelievable. I got the Thanksgiving salmonella, the old, the old The gift that keeps on giving if you will Chris

I have never in my life never if you ever had food poison. Yes. Yeah, it's not fun Yeah, I thought you just want to die. I just want to die. I honestly do I've lost nine pounds and eight pounds and in three days. It's unbelievable actually how much weight I've lost May it's great. Die it. I look great. Don't I look great? Yeah, besides the pale lips Gotta do the commercial break my wife's like take a day off and I'm like give the people what they want. She's like what people What people what are you talking about? He's so silly. Yeah, so we're back from the Thanksgiving break. Chrissy and I went to our collective,

our individual family. Respective. Respective. Thank you. You're gonna have to help me along here today. I will. Yeah, our respective families and I went, it's hard to say exactly what happened.

And I'm not pointing at any fingers. I don't know, no one knows. But long about on Friday night, on Thursday night, Astrid got sick and she ended up not feeling well when I were, oh, we were over at my dad's house. On Saturday, on Friday night, we had come home and early on Saturday morning, like two o'clock

in the morning, I went to bed at midnight, I felt perfectly fine. Was in here in the studio, was doing work, I was fine. Went to bed, watched a the movie woke up two hours later and Chrissy I was shaking Violently Violently and I thought oh this is it. I got the vid. I got the vid every you know, I'm taking I'm sitting on the toilet taking COVID at home I'm like do I stick it up my ass. I don't know. What do I do?

That's what they did in China, right? I know, they did, they were doing ass tests. They were drive-through ass tests. Yes. I just stick your ass out the window. Just stick your ass out the window and they literally say, fuck her up, buttercup. I literally was taking tests in the bathroom

and it was came up negative and so we got to the bottom of it. When I went to the emergency clinic on my Thanksgiving weekend to figure out that I had a raging case of food poisoning and And here I am. That's more common than you think, you know, this is what the doctor said. She said that you get She said she's already seen a lot of people Yeah, bringing stuff and yeah, it's a lot of co-mingling of foods

It's a lot of making a lot of different types of foods Probably using some of the same utensils to serve and to cook those foods. And just the general bad hygiene of everybody involved. Yes. Yes. My son took it. Well, I wanna talk about my, I'm gonna talk about my son

so I don't give him therapy later on down the life. But someone that I know went to the bathroom, I was off looking for whitebees and I came out and he's just running with his pants up and I was like, oh, Matty, you did it yourself and then he lift up his hand and 30 a dirty toilet paper in his hand He made an effort he made an effort as his fingers were breaking through the toilet paper I guess that's how he felt he needed to do it

As these fingers were breaking through the toilet paper, I guess that's how he felt he needed to do it So we're here and you know, um, yeah, you should thank me You can write me letters and cards and tell me to get well when I end up in the hospital getting ID fluids Because I'm here doing the fucking commercial break. Well, I'm have a raging case of cell manella I know you should have told me I did tell you no, you did not tell me I guess I told you right before I started I did tell you. No, you did not tell me. I guess I told you right before I started. I, yeah. What?

She texted me and I debated whether to tell her. We could have postponed. We could have postponed, but then we don't get to people what they want, which is more horrible and proff comedy. One hour at a time. It stands to reason that we have 67 episodes that are unused in that fucking storage unit, you know, in that server that we have. The Glow?

We're gonna have to pull one out at some point and just use it. I'm just gonna have to break glass in case of emergency and give you some of the shittiest. There's 67. No, there's about 22, like 22 dead episodes. One of these, I might release them as an NFT. Yeah, the lost episodes.

Release them as a package of NFTs and see if anybody buys it. Buy some and die some. Yeah, I'm ready to get into the NFT game. I actually think it's really cool. I think it's a good idea that we could raise money for charity. That way we could give away exclusive content

to people who... If I charity do you mean us? My dogs find a home for blue. That fucking dog would not shut up this morning. I'm fucking sick as a dog. No pun intended. Sick as a dog. I'm trying to lay there and get some extra z's, right?

And the dog is, you know, the nails on the fucking hardwood. Yeah, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. She's running around in circles because she's too fat to jump up on this little couch that we have for her. She's too fat. Now she's got, she's reached that point where there's a like critical mass.

Her fat ass can't make it all the way up there, so she just flops down. So rather than try, now she's scared to. So what she'll do is she'll back up, she'll run in circles, she'll back back up and then she'll go real fast running start and then just stop then she'll do it again

And she does this over and over and over again obsessively like an OCD dog which she is and it tries me crazy So find that get out of the bed And it tries me crazy. So find that get out of the bed. I fucking woo god Derek I'm yelling at my kids must think that I'm like the worst human being in the world because me and blue all we do yell at each other. Blue sits around and barks at me all day long and I bark back.

And I'm like, I don't fuck your salad. Step back. So bad. I'm so bad. When I'm sick, I'm a big fucking baby. Well, that's the way it goes. Isn't that the way that men are? Well, it is.

It's Jeff a big baby when he gets sick. Yeah. Yeah. And does he get like fussy, angry, or does he just get like needy? Yeah, it's more, it's more needy, I think. It's more needy. And I want to help too.

So I'm trying to help and he's sick and yeah. I don't know what it is about men. I don't know what it is, but we won't tell you we're sick until we're actually dead sick. But then once we get to the point where we tell you we're sick, we're gonna milk it for everything that it's worth.

Now you're our mommy at the sun. Right? We don't wanna take any of your advice, honey. Go eat some saltines. I can't, I don't wanna eat any saltines. I was trying to do it to you. I know, when I was just like, you need to lift and noodle soup and some saltine that I spray. Not, not. Not. I know when I was just like you need the lifted noodle soup and some salty

then a spray not that not I don't want I'm just gonna shit it out anyway But you need something in your stomach I don't want anything in my stomach We're so bad it's just every time I get sick I feel Forastered because I know that I'm gonna act like a fucking two-year-old child

and I wish that I could control myself, but I can't. Because when I'm sick, I have no control over my own neediness or my own fussiness. And so Astrid, I'm here last night doing some work that I gotta get done and Astrid's like, you should come to bed. I gotta finish this work. You can finish the work later.

I can't finish the work later. I gotta do the work now. Well, at least you should drink some Sprite. I don't want Sprite. Sprite doesn't feel good on me. I should do it. Well, at least you shouldn't take some, I don't want to.

That's it. That's it. As for it's like, please, listen to what I have to say. I know. And no, at some point you just throw your hands up me and ask her, I'm sure. It's, you know, fine.

Fine, fuck you. Just feel bad. Like die on the couch. Like die on the couch. Yeah. Fine, die of cell manila's air and Fine, fuck you. Just feel bad. Like die on the cat. I ain't a corner. Fine, die of cell manila's air in your little podcast studio. I'm not gonna die, yeah.

Oh my God, it's so bad. Well, I'm sorry. And, you know, I'm sorry to all the women in my life who I've made miserable across the years with that one time they got a flu. You know what Dr. Phil says? I don't let's do a lot of what Dr. Phil says. Speaking of Dr. Phil, I want to get to something to hear in a second, but you know what Dr. Phil says, I don't know what a lot of what Dr. Phil says. Speaking of Dr. Phil, I want to get to something to hear in a second, but you know what Dr. Phil says?

What? Dr. Phil says, if you want to test a relationship, spend a week with someone when they have the flu. And I think that's a 100% true. Yeah. You want to find somebody at their worst when they have the flu. Yeah, but you can't like predict the test. Like, you know, let's go be around somebody's got the flu

and try and get it and test ourselves. Yeah, yeah, and that's true. You can't actually do that. But it is a test when it happens. We could have Flutender. Like when people get the flu, then you just match them up then, right? Flutender.

I saw a match.com ad yesterday and they have a whole new positioning on their marketing. What they do. And I like it. And I'll explain what it is, right? Totally off topic here, but we're gonna explain what it, a match.com ad yesterday and they have a whole new positioning on their marketing. What they do. And I like it. And I'll explain what it is, right? Totally off topic here, but we're going to explain what I mean, since when is the commercial make ever fall on top?

No. It's a random string of thoughts from Brian and Chrissy. What their whole messaging now is, I'm dating an adult. So I saw this two minute match.com ad on YouTube. First time I've ever seen that. I've seen a lot of.com ad on YouTube. First time I've ever seen it. I've seen a lot of match.com ads, but first time I've ever seen it, you know, I pay attention to these kind of things

because it could be material for the show. Yes. And so it's a two-minute ad if you let it run all the way through. And it's a number of what I would say mid-twenties early thirties, people, men and women, saying dating an adult to me is not getting ghosted. It's dating an adult to me is sitting down for a whole dinner. It's like this whole.

Remember, we talked about this, how these kids in their 20s, and even some of my friends that are in their 40s are getting ghosted on site. They're doing dine and dashes. They're, in other words, they're going. They're eating a meal, standing up to go to the bathroom and they're never coming back, never talking to them.

Some of my friends have been given phone numbers that no longer work after dates, they're like burner phones. They're burner phones, basically. You can buy a burner number for $0.99 online. Like, you know, you don't even have to go to the store and buy any hardware. You just attach it to the phone.

So, I mean, we do the same thing for funny phone calls here in the studio. We just buy a burner number, right? So, the whole messaging now is, I wanna date an adult. I wanna date someone who's gonna call me back. Is it a e-harmonies position? I think e-harmonies position is,

if you're in your 70s, and you don't know how to work the computer, e-harmonies as you covered. If you're in your 70s and you don't own a phone that gets online, we have you covered. Go to your dial up. Eharmonie and DSL, a match made in heaven. That's right, AOL.com. AOL.com Earthlink.

Yes. Which is an Atlanta company. I love Earthlink, by the way, but they still have DSL. That's still a thing. A lot of people have DSL. So, I just thought this very interesting positioning from match to be the anti-tender, the anti-plenty of fish, the anti-grinder, the anti-whatever.

And I think it's smart for match.com to do this. Because I bet there are differentiating it. I bet there are a lot of people out there who are young and single, who are really not happy with the manner in which people get treated on those apps. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to be a shitty thing. So in the research about this new kind of positioning by match.com, I found that they have

this whole new marketing campaign, like I'm dating an adult, right? Or I want to date an adult. And I found an interesting story. And the interesting story is this, a girl went on Tinder in New York, a girl in Manhattan, went on Tinder and she matched with over 150 separate guys and gave them all the same line. She matched with them back in early October around the same period of time, two week, three week period of time. She gave them all the same message. I'm studying for my finals, my exams, and I'm really busy right now. But I would love to

hook up with you. You seem really nice. You're really attractive. I'd love to hook up with you. Can we do that at a later date? And I'll keep, you know, give me your phone number and I'll text you. That happens about two weeks ago. She pops up out of nowhere. She contacts all of these gentlemen. They don't know this though. They have no idea that there's other gentlemen involved. Yeah, they all think that it's one. It's kind of genius. She put all of these guys on the path to be at the same place at the same time to see a DJ set in the park

in one of the Manhattan parks, like one of the busy, like little street parks that they have. They were gonna do a day meet, like a day date, where this DJ was spinning, and there would be cocktails. So all of these guys, dozens and dozens of them, show up, all mulling around, this DJ said, and they may all start to kind of catch on to what's going on. DJs, like, yeah, look at all the people!

What's up! They came out for my best! Wow, when did my, when did my sick at so cocky? There's a lot of dudes in the audience in muscle shirts. There's a lot of chads in the office. So at some point she steps up on stage, surrounded by bodyguards and gets on the microphone and says, hey, everybody, thanks for coming to our Tinder date. I just wanted to get you all in one place so I can tell you what my criteria are for dating someone

and I'm only gonna, I'm only gonna date you if you meet the following criteria. You've gotta be over six foot one. You can't be an immigrant or here visiting on travel. You can't be, you know, divorced. You can't have children. You can't be, you know, blue eyed. You can't be whatever you know, divorced. You can't have children. You can't be, you know, blue-eyed. You can't be whatever. She goes through the whole thing, like her whole list of everything.

And she has these bodyguards out in the crowd, like, you know, telling people to leave when they're like, you know, raised or hand-to-hand, you gotta go. It's like the batch the right in five minutes. She had some really weird demands, actually. The immigrant, if you immigrants, well, the fucking care. I mean, okay, whatever. anyone's, I don't want to get it to. But what she did was essentially pull off the batch, Lorette in 15 fucking minutes, right? And I thought it was quite genius actually what she did. And she kind of gained the system to make it make sense. Now, there is some talk that this is actually a stunt pulled off by a viral video marketing company.

No one knows yet, but I'm sure we'll see the video out there at some point, right? Some documentary on it. But that is the kind of shit that you have to put up with when you're trying to date an adult in 2021. And if there isn't some, like, if there isn't some, I guess, normalcy or some kind of new normal, put to dating on these dating apps,

like the collective consciousness gets together and decides we can't treat each other like this. Like, if I wanna be treated like this, I have to treat people like that, or start getting really more fucking picky with who you decide to go out with. You don't have to fucking bone every girl that you match with,

nor do you have to show up to every date to get a free cup of coffee and a compliment about your pretty hair. Like you can just like really dig in and find out if you like somebody and you could do that online. I did it with Astrid, right? But if you don't do that, then I think you're all I think this people are just bound to. We might just be too far gone past that.

We're in such an instant world. I like to think otherwise. I'm a constant optimist. I am a pragmatic. I'm a pragmatic. I'm a passionate pragmatist. I'm an obstinate optimist. I'm a celibate,

celebrator. Yes, I'm so many different alliterations you don't even know. I'm good at alliteration unfortunately I don't know what they mean, but you're also not in the dating world. Yeah, that's true. Not yet Astrid's Anymore time dedicated to this podcast and I'm not particularly sure Take a leave, sure. Hey everybody, it's the Commercial Break inside of the Commercial Break. Go to TCBpodcast.com.

If you'd like to find out more about Chrissy and I, you can read all the show notes, get our sponsors, special URLs and codes. You can listen to all the audio, you can watch all the video all from our website. And if you'd like to, you can drop us a line at 6612378296 that's 661 best the number 2, yo! At the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break is the home of our brand new series TCB in the studio. Content you can not get through the audio version, so please go ahead and jump over there and

subscribe. It'd be a great Christmas present to yourself. Get your free TCB collectibles sticker series number 2 is out right now. By going to the website and click on I Want My Free Sticker. We'll tell you how to get it, you tell us where to send it and we'll have it home for the holidays. Just in time. We want to thank you for being a listener of the commercial break and we know commercials aren't your favorite thing in the world. But our sponsors are good enough to give you free shit and discounts just by listening to the commercials. But our sponsors are good enough to give you free shit and discounts just by listening to the commercials. So please use the specialized URLs and codes to get

your free shit and then the sponsors keep on coming back and then we get to do more content and you get to keep on listening. It's a big, lovey-dovey relationship. Trust me. Happy holidays to you and yours and now a word from our sponsors. Hey guys, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Texas Lone Star Now a word from our sponsors. House this holiday season. Let Texas Lone Star Tomales take care of the food for you. It's easy fast delivery. We'll have the Texas Lone Star Tomales to your front door in no time, and it's literally a three-step process to cook those Tomales. If you can cook pasta, you can cook these Tomales, and they are delicious. The pork is my favorite. We got a big box of beef, chicken, pork, and cheese from Texas Loan Star Tommales.

Make it different this year. Get Texas Loan Star Tommales. They'll take care of the food for you. Like I mentioned, fast free delivery to your front door. And as a holiday gift from their family to the TCB family, you can use the code TCB at checkout to receive a free dozen Tommales. That'll keep you fed for at least a week.

Go to TexasLoanStarTommales.com and use that code TCB for a free dozen tamales. That's TexasLoneStarTomales.com. Use the code TCB. Thanks, Texas LoneStarTomales. Hey guys, one to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Playbook. Chrissy and I have broached this subject many times on the commercial break. We agree that some of the worst stress you can feel in your life is financial stress.

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dollars. I have a phone call to get set up with the good people at Playbook and I'm so excited that it'll allow me to look at all of my accounts, my goals and my progress in one place instead of having to go to 10 different financial apps. So, to get on the road to financial freedom with me, go to helloplaybook.com slash tcb. And with that unique link, helloplaybook.com slash tcb, you'll get a free playbook impact. It predicts how much networks you could grow if you start today by Beechbound.com. Beechbound.com is an online travel agency with expertise in worldwide beach vacations and only beach vacations. They're reinventing beach travel with beachbound.com. You can book worldwide

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and we will use beachbound.com to book our next Beach Vacation because that's all they do and they have expertise in only beaches. Go to beachbound.com and book all of your beach travel from one location beachbound.com. Thanks Beachbound. Hey TCB Family Members, gotta let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Quip and GetQuip.com. My dental care is meticulous. I love my dental care routine.

I floss and I brush at least twice a day, and GetQuip.com is helping people all around the world do just that. The Quip Electric Toothbrush is loved by over 7 million people and there's reasons why. It has a time sonic vibration with 30 second pulses to guide the dentist recommended two-minute clean. It's got a lightweight and sleek design for both adults and my kids. It's also got a multi-use travel cover that doubles as a mirror mount for less clutter in your bag.

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That's what they're doing for the TCB family. That's your first refill for free at GetQuip.com slash TCB. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash TCB. Quip is the good habits company, so go to GetQuip.com slash TCB to get your free refill when you I was digging around the internet. As I do. As you do. We got going on Kid Rock on our in the studio. Second.

Case to you, those of you who haven't caught in the studio, you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. We now have YouTube exclusive content. It's called TCB in the studio. Every week we pick a different topic. That's kind of timely and we pontificate about it for 10 to 15 minutes answer questions and even some of them are a little bit more serious.

We talk about Travis Scott, astroworldgoatioetube.com slash The Commercial Break and you can check that out. It's not available on the audio version of the show only on video. We were talking about Kid Rocks brand new music video. Turn this is from the hot dump that Kid Rock just took on YouTube. Because no MTV is going to be showing this anytime soon.

It's objectively, to me, at least in the last couple of years that I've been watching music videos, it's the worst music video that I have seen. It's really, really bad. Worst non-perity music video. Right, because you at first are like, is this a joke? It's gotta be. It's gotta be, right? There are lots of, you just have to go watch the video.

I'm not gonna explain it here. Go watch our recap or go watch the video right now. It's called, don't tell me how to live. It's called, don't tell me. And nobody gonna tell me how to live. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And nobody gonna tell me her to knew. Sonny's out of his hose. Sonny's out of, fuck all these hose.

I'm from Detroit. He starts with that. He starts with that. Let me give you a little sampling of kid rocks, incredible lyrics to this brand new song that he's dropped on the world. This hot steaming piss he just took on all of our earballs. Ready? Yes.

Here's the first paragraph. Fuck all you hos. Detroit till I die, motherfucker. Talking all that bullshit, ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live. I'm okay. And I mean, he starts off strong here, right? Detroit till I die, motherfucker.

Why in the world would anybody care? Whether or not you're Detroit till you die mother fucker? Who's who is angry about that? Good rock you ain't Detroit man You like the uppin insolo We did we have to Nashville. Oh, he did. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but Rayleigh and Nashville suburbs to our damage Alfredo Maybe the Israeli Nashville suburbs to my damage Alpharetta Las Cruces

Fucking cares First of all can we can we stop rep in our own hometown like can we stop being so angry about whose hometown is who's what's up with that People getting tattoos of their area codes and stuff on their arms Listen, it's your personal choice, and I get it. But who's angry about Detroit? I don't know. Yeah. I want to preface this by saying,

I've never been a huge kid rock fan. I know you were. I was once upon a time, and things really took a turn. I thought some of this music was catchy. Yeah, it was. My sister and I would go to the concerts, we would be like, yeah, that, I mean, he had girl dropped his bat out of the top.

A bad ass girl, Gemma. Yeah, and she's no longer around. No, she's not. She's like, I'm not gonna deal with your racist past. I was, she cleared the coup. Yeah. Yeah. I thought these, when I first heard his music,

I had a friend that lived down in Tampa and had moved up here. We were working at a chiles together and one night Hi on cocaine. He said I am going to let you listen to this CD of this local artist That's out of Tampa that because I think at the time he was either touring a lot in Tampa or down in Tampa Okay It was literally one of those paper like covers on the CD was obviously a demo CD a bootleg That he bought it one of the shows,

and it was bow with a bow. Mm-hmm, right? And when I heard it, the first time I heard it, it was unlike anything I had ever heard. And it wasn't necessarily my... My name is Chris! Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Ain't nobody gonna change my name to Keith.

Yeah, it did not age well. No, he didn't. He looks like a portly flavor flip. Looks like a white flavor flame, buying his clothing at the teenage part of Gap, with some Pimp Chains. I mean, I don't know if I've just explained it. He has not changed his style one bit. No. Since the moment that he was on that paper CD cover that I mean, I don't know if I just explained it. He has not changed his style one bit since the moment

that he was on that paper-seedie cover that I saw. I never cared for Kid Rock all that much, right? It's not, and I don't give a shit about his politics. I don't give a shit about anybody's politics. I like your music. I like your music. I want to shop at your store. I want to shop at your store.

I'm not that petty to believe that we can't have differences. And I can still like some of the stuff that you do. I just don't, I think this song is incredibly dumb. Like, I'm a moonshine sipper straight slipping in the darkness far from heartless. I'm more of the sharpest tool in the shed that you've ever seen on the smartest, but make no mistake I'm fucking hitting the hardest.

Ha ha ha ha. Well, what happened there? What are we talking about? Who's angry? Who are you talking to? I don't know. Here's one. Ready?

This is my favorite one. Okay. Years ago, we thought it was a joke you see that every kid got a motherucking trophy, but yo homie Here's a situation a next generation of pussies is a generator or the next nation of pussies is a generation kid What are you talking about? I

Love when people on both sides of whatever spectrum you happen to be on. Start calling each other a bunch of pussies and snowflakes and whatever, right? A bunch of babies. Because the other side is complaining. The truth is, you're both bitching and complaining about everything. That's true. It's like you're calling everybody a pussy for bitching and complaining and you have a whole song about how you're Detroit till you die. Yes, like people are angry at you

for being from Detroit. Who cares? It gives a fuck. And you're called, I mean, listen, dude, it's objectively the worst song you've ever, it's the worst music video you've ever seen, maybe objectively the worst music ever. Yeah, the video itself.

Oh my God. It's called Michael. Oh my God, to the bad lyrics. He's on a middle finger. He's flying through space on a plastic middle finger with a nine-meter and 40 in one hand and a bottle of jack in the other and he's holding on. He's stradd, peep-pew. It's like shooting randomly. I'm so, kid rockin' her space, face. Space, face. What?

Looks more like a prop. He's about to check somebody's prostate. Like an inner stellar transformer prostate, that's all. Yeah, it's bad. I mean, the way that this idea came up, I mean, hey, let's get out this big plastic finger middle finger. Hey guys. Yeah.

Hey, I got a bunch of cocaine. That's right. Hey guys, I just got paid $50,000 to show up at Club LaVila in Panama City. Let's take 20 of that and buy cocaine and we'll take 10 of it and buy weed and we'll take the other 20. Can you make me a spacecock? That's shaped like a middle finger. It's shaped like a middle finger that I can ride on. Can you guys do like, yeah, I'm sure if kid had an understanding

about badly that would turn out. He would, he must have hired the best and brightest in middle. Well, he's the sharpest tool. Oh my God. He is the sharpest tool. He benches it in the song. He is he is the sharpest tool. Oh my God, he is the sharpest tool. He mentions it in the song. He is a tool. He got me thinking.

Like, and I know a lot of people actually thought this was a parody song, right? They thought that Weird Al had actually, was actually behind this, that Weird Al had something to do with this song. Weird Al wanted nothing to do with that. I had a weird Al said, I have nothing to do with that horse shit.

Yeah, my music is better than that. That's what he said. My lyrics make more sense than that. Yes. Yes. So it got me thinking, how many other musicians out there are making music unintentionally, unintentionally being bad? Like they, they, oh a lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot of a lot.

But I wanted to get to the bottom of the worst of the worst, right? Oh, I mean, is making the worst, objectively the worst music, but taking it the most seriously. I cannot believe that I missed this when it was happening, but apparently nine or ten years ago, there was a gentleman named Mark Gormley. Okay. Okay. Mark Gormley is a musician that got found by a company that finds random musicians and pushes their music out via social media and stuff like that. They're basically

trying to make popular very unsophisticated musicians who have a certain type of music in the hopes that they become a parody of themselves and they become popular. Now, some of the musicians I can tell that are involved in this are in on the joke, it seems Mark is not. And that's why Mark became such a raging hit back about nine or 10 years ago. Jimmy Kimmel was showing his videos.

There was a bunch of press about this particular guy, Mark O'Malley. How did I miss this? I have no idea. But I found it now, and I'm really interested in it. And I think this could be a commercial break success. Okay. Not. I am not playing the Kid Rock video,

because I'm sure that Kid Rock will tell me to take it down immediately. Mark, I'm just playing a, this is only for, I guess this is only for, I guess this is only for parody, comedy purposes, parody and criticism, commentary, comments are, purposes. If you're upset, Mark, that I'm playing some of your music, then I really wish that you get a hold of me

and we can talk about it. You too, Frankie B. I'm waiting for Frankie to dial us up. I really am. It's gonna happen on these days. You know it is. Okay. Now, I present to you an interview with Mark Gornley from about five years ago. Okay. Hi, I'm Michelle Karnley and this is a UZ Special Report. I'm here with singer-songwriter Mark Gornley of UZ and internet fame. How are you doing? Pretty good. Good. I know it's nice. So, Mark, let's talk about your music.

What year did you start writing songs and why? 75 and 76 is when I started most of my songs that have about 30 years old. Most of my songs come from my, we got something in common. Most of my songs come from my freshman and sophomore year of ice go to. Listen to this music. Now they're going to inner spice parts of his music in between. Okay.

Can't say that a singing voice is all that bad, but just, it's just too funny to me anyway. Moons can you make the fight? The rain is getting heavy, the storm tonight. I'm so mad. The ocean in the high ocean. It is. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, yeah. Because it doesn't seem to have an Irish accent when he speaks.

No, but I mean, when it's 1975, you know, in all your favorite bands are British. And you just can't nail that British accent. You go with Irish. You go with Irish. And I love that. Ooh, I'm gonna lay up the care to bed on that night. Ooh, it's too good.

It's too good. This is literally sounds like a 33-wily song. We make the morning light, hold a toiling in fire. Okay, your songs and videos have taken off on the internet with thousands of views. Tell me what literally, thousands of views. So have ours. Yeah. Just think about that. Oh, well, right now it's a bit overwhelming.

You know, when I did this, I just did it for fun. You know, I just helped him to do therapeutic. I just could stuff to do. And just overwhelmed. He sounds overwhelmed. You got to see a picture of Mark normally. I maybe I'll put it on the website. He's got a cheesy 70 stash, right? That kind a picture of Mark normally. I maybe I'll put it on the website. He's got a cheesy 70s stash

Right that kind of that haircut from 1970. He looks like he'd literally walked out in 1970. Yeah, and he's so like he doesn't even in his music videos He doesn't even move. He's on a green screen and there's like butterflies behind him or a picture of a bridge with cards moving over Today's cards moving over it. I'm going to lose today, I'm going to lose today, but it flies and fights. I'm going to take it on tonight. So these same songs were unearthed. They were unearthed from the 70s and then played again and they tried to play them on socials.

By something by a company or a YouTube channel called Uncharted, right? Okay. Yeah, no, it called Uncharted, right? And... No, sure. It was Uncharted. And they have like 30 musicians that they've on Earth, and lots of them are super funny, and super fun.

Listen, Mark, I gotta give it to Mark. He's a lot better than some people I've heard play music. That's true. So, I'm not totally knocking the guy. I just think it's funny. Yeah. It reminds me of songs that I would make in my freshman year of high school.

Nothing matters more than little wings and flight. Nothing matters more than little wings and flight. It's like Mark Oden. Mark Hesk, I don't hold a S'maghanja. In 1970. You got turned on. Well, CD has eight songs on it. Which of the eight songs would you say is your favorite and why?

Beginnings. Could just the hardest to live by. It's just, you know, it's been there 30 years. And it's lasted this long, so it proved itself to me. So. That totally proved itself to me. That totally made sense to me. Did you get that sentence? It's all the new.

It's beginnings because it's the hardest one to live by. It's been 30 years. It's been 30 years, and so I guess it holds true. What are you talking about Mark? I'm not entirely sure of myself. I smoke onto that one time and I've been totally big since. That's what he gets. The beginning, last forever, beginning, last forever, no, they don't mark that's why they call them beginnings.

That's very beginning forever. It sounds like Aria's speedwagon to me, doesn't it? Doesn't sound like Aria's speedwagon to me? Yeah, which is not a bad band at all. But beginnings last forever is not a lyric that makes sense to me. That's a straight one. Yeah. Oh my god.

It was a shoot. To a clock in the afternoon. Last for hours. Nope, no it doesn't. I stay 15 till I'm 30. I can't say that's my main forever. Change is change forever. Forever. I know that you weren't expecting this international fame that you're getting.

Do you think it'll change your life? Oh no. I just, I needed to let have a play the guitar again. I forgot. I need to learn how to let him play the guitar again. I forgot. I need to learn how to be an international superstar one more time. I forgot when it's like to get laid a bunch. I bet he's big in Ireland.

I'm looking for Mrs. Right. I bet he's huge in Ireland. And I ran maybe just like we are. Yeah, exactly. Just listening to us in I ran. So strange. I'm trying to as a night ran so strange I try to sing a little bit I just did it for fun, you know so far right now. I just want to

Do what I'm doing now just hanging out Pensacola and making videos Hey Adam has not gotten to his head. No, not me. I just want to hang out in Pensacola and chase tail around. If you know of any good ladies, let me know. I got to learn. I got to learn how to play the guitar again and get some bone or medication. But besides that, I'm ready to rock. Is it casual?

Can I wear polo jeans and sandals? Is that okay? Because that's what I've been wearing around Pensacola. That's 1978. Is it casual? Can I wear polo jeans and sandals? Is that okay? That's what I've been wearing around Pensacola. It's 1978. Pedaling this CD beginning. Beginning's less forever. Changes, change forever.

Changes change forever. I guess that could be true. Theoretically, hypothetically, changes could change forever. Depending on how you say that sentence, or where you place the comma, I guess that could be it. Okay. No, talk like that. I'm so happy.

Hello, me time's alone. What do you really feel inside? There's some easier musical influence. See Dylan rush James Taylor Jimmy Hendrix Led Zeppelin A lot of people I heard it's a twinge of Jimmy Hendrix I could it's rush I could see rush a Rio speed wagon and then Like cross-be Stills without Nash. I'm not giving him Lezz Ebblin.

No, no, no. He just went and named a bunch of people that were popular back in the 70s. He didn't wait name one like offbeat artist, right? He didn't say, I don't know, Cohen or, you know, I don't know, he just didn't. Yeah. That is such a typical answer.

Zeppelin, Dylan, Hendrix. What else did he say? Rush. Yeah. James he say? Rush. Yeah. James Taylor. James Taylor. Was she even around in 1973? No, no, either.

I don't think they were there until 78. Who are my influences? Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera. I don't know if you get this a little twinge of Aguilera in there. I don't know if you're... a little twinge of Aguilara in there. I like them too. I have to ask, have you ever seen any of these guys in concert? I've seen Rush and seen James Taylor, but I never did see Jimmy Hendrix. Well, you don't like him.

Yeah. You didn't catch him back there in 1978? Did you just miss him? Well, if he came to Pensacol. You didn't catch him back there in 1978 just missed him. Well, if he came to Pensacola. Well, yeah. Yeah. You know, that huge tour circuit that goes around Pensacola, Florida. Actually, Pensacola is pretty big.

That's all the offers that's coming in with everything that's going on like Jimmy Kim alive and some of those things. Do you, do you plan on accepting any of those offers? Not now. Not now. Not now. I'm good. Maybe three or four years from now after the moment is bad.

Hey, Jimmy, do you mind if I could launch it a couple of years? Yeah, I can just go ahead and book me four years from now. Do you mind if I learn how to play guitar again and ask, come on. Is that okay with you? Unbelievable. You got to strike while they iron his hot mark and here's the thing I never did see the mark gormley like Jimmy Kimmel appearance and maybe it's out there Maybe I just don't know about it, but it's according to me and never happened first of all second of all

Who's this Deborah Norville that's interviewing him? like, what do you do? Oh, my gosh. Oh, sure. Don't swallow the microphone. Don't stand away from it. Just hold it still. We have to remind ourselves of that here in the studio too. By the way, you're not the only one with those problems.

Brian's always bobbing his head everywhere. Chrissy's just trying to figure out what to look at. I know. There's a big debate here at the TCB Studios. How do we get Brian and Chrissy to look at the camera? So what we've decided is in season three, we're gonna be looking at each other because we cannot look natural on camera.

No, I'm looking above the camera at the screen. Oh, our blow. We've upped our YouTube game just a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah, we decided to put ourselves in frame, actually. Instead of just our chins showing, and then a bunch of dead space above our heads. What was I waiting for, the moon landing? I don't know, we knew that I was like, Brian.

That's not a good angle. I didn't know. I'm not even. I thought maybe we Brian, don't you think I'm gonna get angry? I didn't know. I'm not kidding. I thought maybe we'd add graphics in there at some point. And it's right. The truth is, I don't have time for that shit. No one helps out around here.

Except for Gustavo and Astrid. And Will, Will the champ, he gives us some good advice sometimes too, so thanks Will. I haven't done any serious playing in more than 20 years. So I need to get my houses back and start playing the guitar again and let it re-learn all this music. So if I do it's just gonna be in the future sometimes. It's good because Beginnings and never in.

Jimmy Kimmel's offer will ask forever I'll always be opening the hardest to live by it beginnings is the hardest to live by but it's been 30 years And he's still in the beginning Okay, we're receiving thousands of emails in comments comparing you to the greats of Led Zeppelin the Beatles greats of Led Zeppelin DeBeatle. So fun! That's so mean. That is so mean.

The Beatles. Oh my God. People are so mean. This was early on in the YouTube days when trolling was just, you've got to remember this is almost 10 years ago that he first started becoming popular or that these videos started becoming popular. And the, I think YouTube was not the beast that it is today. I'm not even sure you'd get noticed today, but, you know, I cannot believe that this guy

didn't go on to like just strike while the iron was hot. What was he thinking? Well, he was obviously not being... It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Just, just get a real band to play the music and you sing behind it. Even if it's shitty, people, you could have gone and sold out probably every 1000 Cedar venue in the entire United States for a year and a half, two years.

Just singing the shitty songs standing up there straight as a ghost with a green screen behind you and some bad imagery in the background. Like it would have been the funniest, fun thing people would have done all week. And you could have really capitalized on it. You could still be capitalizing on it. Mark, give me a call here at the commercial break. We're ready for you to make your big debut. I know you missed out on Jimmy Kimball.

You're your third beginning. Yeah, Jim Bull Kimball, as Howard Stern would say, but we would like you to come, make your big appearance here on the commercial break. What treats you right? Don't worry. Well, and folks like that. So what do you think about that? big appearance here on the commercial break. What treats you right? Don't worry. Well, and folks like that. So what do you think about that?

Well, I'm just a little old me, you know, for a fence call. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I just live it in my one bedroom apartment with my mom waiting for eventual success And so it hasn't quite happened yet, but you know, I figure I'm just waiting till I learn how to play guitar again before I go to Jimmy Kimball. Yeah, come on dude Get go go. We should go back in time and tell Mark to go go run run I think butterflies in your video. He would have done it for you. Jimmy would have helped you out. He's a nice guy.

He would have figured out the best way to put him to make this funny and fun. That's all I want to be right now. Just, like I said, it's overwhelming. And I don't know. You can't believe all the hype, really. You just got to kind of live a day to day. No, that's exactly what you need to do this day.

Take it, Dave, I do.. Take a escape, I do. Take a escape, I do. Because these lusts frilly! I don't know about you, but I think of White Album. Yes! Synth solo! That is objectively bad. That is not Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, or Jimmy Hendrix. No, it's not.

I wonder, I guess he recorded these in 75 and 76 and they just found the CD now. I mean, they have CDs back then. So they found the A-track, put it on the CDs. We should do this. We should go on the hunt for this. This is a type of, remember we talked about this? This is a type of random ass music

that some people actually find legitimately good. Yaman. Yaman. Yaman. My name is Wrikah Tony. My name is Wrikah Tony. Come and ride my pony. My name is Wrikah Tony.

That Wrikah one is the best. And if you want to listen to that, you can go back, listen to regatoni. And you'll find out a little bit more about what does they call that music? I can't remember. Remember it was like, no, no, I know that. But there's like, there is a group of people out there, like music critics, who think the only pure form of music is people who are literally clueless about music. So they go and they just write, you know,

what we think is just junk. The critics believe that it's actually good music because it's uninhibited by anyone's ego. They believe it's good, so therefore it's good, but they have no fucking clue with their name. It's all bad. It's not if it is good. I'll do an episode on this. I promise soon I'll do an episode. Maybe toward the end of the year I'll do an episode about this type of music, random ass music that music critics are in love with. And this has got to qualify. That's good. Yes. That's good. Feeling the night in the head of your luck,

Hey, your parents won't let you go out tonight. Love on the wings of a little old smoky, Feeling the bottom of my high in light. What? I'm not sure either man. I'm just trying to hang on. Oh, the beginning lasted forever. Those beginnings do. Do forever. This sounds like spinal tap

We're going to play space-honesty a freeform jazz exploration I don't get it. I don't get why I didn't I'll tell tell you why I didn't work because we had a three foot by three foot fucking stone And almost crush a midget. I'm gonna go and watch that movie. Oh, it's so good. Well, I did exactly what you wrote down When they're performing that If you've never watched vinyl tap that you have, if you've never watched spinal tap, stop this. I give you permission to stop this episode. Go watch spinal tap. Come back because the best scene in that movie to me is when they're playing like a

a date, like a, they're playing in a zoo, basically, the story of a British band that was famous that kind of fell from grace. For Rob Reiner. It's so good. And they are outside trying to figure out the cent list. And one of the guys goes, well, I think in a festival setting, really, we should go with jazz Odyssey. It's a free form jazz exploration. And then the next part was love not love. Love farm. No.

No love love farm no Love tractor or something like that. Oh my god, and then they make a concept album called stonet And and their first show they want a concept album called Stonehenge. And their first show, they want a big Stonehenge to come down in the middle of the stage. And what comes down is I got three foot by three foot Stonehenge. That falls on top of two small people running around the stage. It's absurd. It is so good. It is so good. Oh my god.

Anyway, he sounds exactly like that. Yeah, this is the real spinal tap. ["The Real Spinal Tap"] So what are your plans for the future? Oh, well, I've got a couple more songs I want to do. And then, hmm. Hmm, I cannot compute. You caught me off guard.

What's next? Really, after this interview, I hadn't thought about anything. Because beginnings are forever. Yeah, I thought about next. Do you have any ideas? Do you have anything to help? Because beginnings are forever Start looking for a significant other somewhere That's about it. Okay now attention ladies. He's looking for a significant other and he's gonna tell us what he's looking for Someone who's independent you know that

Someone that doesn't need me around ever My last girlfriend we only met once we dated for seven years She called me one time too. I guess that's twice. I would call that independent. It's the kind of relationship that makes me feel comfortable. Mommy won't let anybody else in the house. Independent woman, you know, just someone who, who I can get along with, a friend, and... That's about it.

Someone who digs a musician for sure, huh? Well, I'd have to. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Someone that doesn't mind my year-round water shoes,

dad jeans, and polo shirt. And literally, this mustache hair has been here since the 70s. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh yeah, I found that significant. I don't know. Check it out. Look it up while we're listening to more. More of this. This gold. This gold.

I just want to hear more of our more gormally. Oh. Oh. So can you tell me if some of the places that you've toured? Well, see, London, Amsterdam, Mauritius. London and Amsterdam, really London Amsterdam Mauritius. London and Amsterdam. And Mauritius. Oh my God, here he is.

Mauritius. Is that him? Mauritius, that's Mark Gormley. I'll put a picture of him on the screen. That's Mark Gormley, youtube.com slash without commercial break. You can check it out. Yeah.

You're telling Pensacola. Well, you know, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Or to re-teach an old dog new tricks, because the beginnings last forever. He does look good for 67 or how old he is. Yeah, he's on Twitter. It looks like my dad, actually. I can remember if I played Cain here or not.

But when I was in the service, I played these places. And it was pretty fun. Now, I know you talked about, you recorded your C back in the 70s. Didn't I hear that you recorded it? And where was it in Scotland or somewhere? Part of it. Most of the songs are from Scotland.

And then in 86, I got a studio and recorded some of them. Well, he was in Scotland. He was in Scotland. So that's probably where he picked up the Irish accent. Oh, right. Yeah, or the Scottish accent. Yeah. I got a studio and recorded some of them. He was in Scotland. He was in Scotland. That's probably where he picked up the Irish accent. Right. Yeah, or the Scottish accent. I'm in love with this, I'm starting to be in love with this television show called, I

forget what it's called. The entire show is around a family who's sitting around watching TV. It's not a reality show. It's an old BBC show, probably from the 90s. The whole show revolves around basically the downstairs of this small house in what I think is Scotland or you know in whatever. And it's entirely boring. And I'm fascinated. There's like 13 seasons of it. And I'm fascinated by how boring this show is. Yeah. It's not, it's not a autorebox or whatever.

What is that? Boob tube autorebox, I can't remember anyway. Beginnings and without you. Oh my god, this song is painful. Stop playing this song. What do you do? If I'm going to get a copyright infringement, it's not going to be for this fucking song. I wonder who owns the copyright to this.

Oh my God, it's really bad. Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan. Dan, if you minutes ago, with the, you know, getting the calluses on the fingers and learning how to play the guitar, again, and so on, what about that? that once you do all this do you have any plans to record on you CD? Well, I'm just right now. I'd like to if I can you know get my chops back but Right now I'm just taking it a day to time. Did you ever have any chops to Did you ever need any chops to lose, they're my friend. Not sure, I'm just asking a question.

Don't take any offense, but if you're going to be in my shops, back. You're talking about your money, Shovey. Do you have any advice for anybody out there that might want to get started in the music business? Believe in yourself, if it's there, these days days just about anybody can, if you're good, you know, you just got to practice and all they believe in what you're doing and you want fame and hope for the best. So I'm famin' money. Famin' money.

Famin' money in lots of ass. Yeah. Listen, I have to say this. I love a good story about an unknown, becoming known in any way, shape or form. I like when that American Idol guy made it famous, it was William Hong, Hong, remember him? Yes.

William Hong, I liked when he became famous. I liked those kind of out of the blue fame stories. And so I give it to Mark Gormley. It's not easy to put your music out there for the world to criticize Especially two dumbasses like us. So I do say congratulations to you on even making it that far That's really good. Do I like the music? No, I don't That's okay. Yeah, well that wraps up this edition of shit your pants tcb That's okay. Yeah. Well that wraps up this edition of Shit Your Pants TCB.

We have to do one on the funny album covers too. Oh, yeah, those things were circulating a few years back And I mean I couldn't believe some of them. Oh my god. They are appropriate. Oh, yeah, like the one where the girls blow the guys blowing the tube up the girls ass I yeah, some of them I just don't understand't understand. Why would you be blowing a tube up somebody's ass? Do you know would feel good in any way shape or form maybe maybe you never know? If the bell starts vibrating in a certain way, maybe that's exciting Okay, we got lots of great shows coming up for you as we round the corner into season number three. Woo!

Got over a million and a half listeners. Lissins. Yeah, Lissins, I want to make sure I make that distinction. I don't want to think we have a million and a half listeners every week. That doesn't happen. But a million and a half Lissins. Yes. Thank you guys.

We're going to stick with you for the next couple weeks through the holiday and then we'll be on the season number three, but fear not. We've got some great content coming up on the holiday break. And I just wanted to let you know that you can go to tcbpodcast.com if you want to find out more about Chrissy and I. Read any of the show notes. Get any of our sponsors, URLs or codes for free. Shit.

Go to the sponsor page on the website. And if you want your free, tcbcollectable sticker. Go to the sponsor page on the website and if you want your free TCB collectible sticker go to the website will tell you how you tell us where to send it It's just that easy series number two is out now. We'll be sending those stickers before the end of the year Yeah, and You know you can go to our website figure out how to get in touch with us text us call us leave us an email We certainly do appreciate you joining us on yet another episode of the commercial break. I think that's all my body is gonna physically allow me to use it. Yeah, she did a great job. Thank you very much. I

motored through. It may not have been an award-winning episode of the commercial break, but for those that stuck around, yes, we learned that beginnings last forever, changes are forever. Changes keep changing. Mark Gormley is still looking for a lady to buy. So hey ladies. Anybody out there in Pensacola? Yeah. Oh man, I'll tell you what, we got to find Mark Gormley.

We got to get him here on the show. But if he didn't do Jimmy Kimmel, is it likely he's going to do the commercial? Anybody down, he's built up those calluses. I'm not going to ask him to play anything. I just want him to come on and talk to us. So that's all I got for him. Okay, ready? This is what we do. I say, can I do anything else? I think that's it, Brian.

What else can we accomplish today? Well, I've done it. Basically dying on my deathbed without any fluids in my body. Okay, and then I say, I love you. I love you. I say best to you. I say best to you. I say best to you out there in the podcast audience.

And then I say, until next time, Chrissy and I always say bye! The Commercial Break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slash the Commercial Break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green,

co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Carnot. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say Yeah!