The Commercial Break - The Scream Of A Dean

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

The Bit: Join WSHIT's continuing coverage of the Election 2020 with special commentator Roseanne Barr. The Show: Bryan and Hoadley discuss the legality (or not) of the poppy seed. Bryan reaches out to Podcast Universe for more help with subscribers. The RNC 2020 just happened and one speaker made quite the plea! Bryan recalls the scream heard round the election with from Howard Dean and Hoadley reminds Bryan he is BAD at internet research. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSC IT's continuing coverage of the 2020 Power Residential Election. We just heard President Donald J. Trump from the South Lawn make an impassioned plea for another four years accepting his nomination from the Republican National Committee in front of a PACT audience at the White House. We have a WHO's WHO of special commentators tonight, so let's not delay, let's dig right in. We have on my left here from the extraordinary piece of television history, and one of my favorite shows of all time, Family Matters This is Steve Quincy Erkel.

Next, the inventor of the Donald Trump Mike Pence Cha Cha Chia Pet, Michael Jones McGillacutty, what a piece of art the Cha Cha Chia is, and the always effervescent semi pro wrestler lady Dan Yelp chatterly lady chatterly I apologize you are in a neck brace tonight I apologize for putting you on my right just looks straight ahead things will be fun but let's start with the queen of prime time and now YouTube outlaw Rose and bar Rose and bar what's say you of Donald J. Trump's speech tonight does he convince more women to vote for him? Go! You know what I think? You know, discuss amongst yourselves if you don't agree. You don't really

have to burn me at the stake for not agreeing with me. But Trump is, in my opinion, the first woman president of the United States. Never at all lost for words, Roseanne Barr calls them like she sees them. I appreciate the honesty. We're gonna take a quick commercial break and be right back to WSHIT's continuing coverage of the presidential election, 2020. In early 2020, the world shut down. Stores, restaurants, schools, and whole communities shut their doors in an effort to protect

human life. As the world quickly changed, one man went on Facebook to get a degree in Internet epidemiology. Brian, along with his lab assistant hopefully, are curing coronavirus by commenting on fake news and reposting recipes of secret virus cures from a friend of a friend who works high up in government. Join Brian and Holy as they discuss the world and life doing this forced interruption. Learning, laughing, and loving

and this real life commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break. I've seen him in the wild. Yeah. I've seen him in the wild. I've seen him in like, uh, in gardens where they're growing for food but I'm not sure that's the same type of poppy where you get the opium. I don't know either.

That's good for you, and by good for you, I mean, gets you high. Yeah. Great. Listen, I need, if you've got any, I need some kerosene, some drain cleaner, and 350 packs of suit-a-fit. Oh, okay. May I ask what you're using it for? 350 packs of suit-a-fit. Oh, okay. May I ask what you're using it for?

I've got a school project. This is my son. Hello. 911, how can I help you? It's me, Judy. I've fallen and I can't get up. Let me put you through to Joe Biden. It's like the fuck! The next episode of the commercial break starts now 21, that's two one for all my scorekeepers.

Out there, I'm Brian Green. This is my good friend, Chrissy Hohley, coming to you live from the pandemic studio, based somewhere in North Georgia. But I won't tell you where, creepos. Well, I have a come to the garden. The mediacometations be fantastic for you. I've got some cameras set up under the bed, but fear not, those are just to make sure that

the animals don't get you. Can you position your ass a little bit to the right? I'm very excited about this. Welcome to Bob and Joe's Airbnb. How can I help you? Oh yes, I'm here for my stay. Fantastic. What kind of pan through you wearing? What is that matter? I just want to make sure I've got the camera angle correct.

Chris he just told me that she'll be staying at an Airbnb in an exclusive garden here in North Georgia and I said said, well, with a garden like that, they must have like a, like a groundskeeper, like an inkeeper or a groundskeeper. And I'm like, get to be careful with those guys, you know, they're around flowers. I'll take them on. Who knows what they're growing. I just learned that it's people people. Yeah, I mean, listen, I don't think against gardeners yet.

I don't have anything against gardeners yet, I don't have anything against gardeners yet, but give me a couple of weeks, and I'm sure I'll find out something wrong with them. So I can bitch and complain. But I just found out that it's legal, or is it illegal? I can't remember which one it is. So again, my research, my internet research goes deep.

But I can't, I can't, there's a big difference. I think it's legal to To grow poppy in the United States is that correct could that be correct I think that's correct. It's a flower. It's a flower So I'm so this is our growing poppy in my backyard. I'm gonna save on pain medication bills around this house I've seen poppies out. I've seen them in the wild. Yeah, I've seen them in the wild I've seen them in like in gardens where they're growing for food, but I'm not sure that's the same type of poppy

where you get the opium. I don't know either. That's good for you and by good for you, I mean, gets you high. Yeah. But yeah, I think a poppy's a poppy, but maybe not. Hey, listen, yeah, no, there's a difference. No, there's a difference.

We're really educating people. Yeah, we're educating people. If you're now because we're experts, we're educating people. If you're now, because we're experts, we're ended at experts on pop, on all things poppy seed. Now, let me tell you, I do know there is a difference. There's like the California poppy, which isn't gonna do much for you. And then there's like the Afghan poppy,

which is like, you know, you can make some tea out of the, whatever, or you can just go ahead and make heroin out of it. One of the two. I was reading online that people, they stop selling, or there's a run on black, Afghan poppy seeds because what people do is there's the little residue that gets on the seeds. You like, I watched a lady, she squished a,

shook a poppy, flower, and a million seeds came out of it. Like a million seeds came out of it. Like a million seeds came out of it. Little black tiny little seeds. And I mean, just kept on going. You kept on hitting it and kept on. And so there's a little residue on that little poppy seed. And you can take that and then you brew it into a tea and then there you go.

Then you have, then you're gonna have a nice afternoon floating in the outer space, right? But other people were saying on this page that I was reading, the comments and the guy was like, you know, nice work telling everybody how to die of an overdose. And I'm like, did you really die of an overdose, making opium tea like poppy tea, but I guess you could. No, actually, that's funny that you're reading something

about heroin because I was reading something earlier about heroin as well. And there's some kind of chemical that's, I guess, made by a US company sold to Mexico. Okay. And that's there was like an outrage, you know, in the article, they were like, wow, is this like, why are they doing this? And were they allowed to do this?

Well, it's like a morphine derivative or something. It's like a chemical compound they used to make cigarette filters. Okay. Yeah. And it, and it, yeah. it has anything to do with open? You mix that with the poppy. Oh, really? And that makes the heroin.

Oh, so a US company was selling the combination for the chemical that's used in heroin. I knew it. I knew it. Apparently. Thought the gas universe, how can I help you? Yes, it's Brian from the commercial break again. I'm Brian, I just got your check for $17,000. I'll tell you that the banner ad will be a real soon.

Great, listen, I need, if you've got any, I need some kerosene, some drain cleaner, and 350 packs of suit-a-fed. Oh, okay. Do you need that weathe of an ad or do we have to be an ad? Do you want subscribers with that? Yeah, if you want to throw in a few subscribers. May I ask what you're using it for? I've got a school project.

This is my son. Oh, okay, no problem. Let me put you down there. Let me transfer you to our doing friends for you to our tiny. I've got a school project. This is my son. OK, no problem. Let me put you down there. Let me transfer you to our doing friends for you to our tiny, tiny, tiny division. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

No problem. Just call me if you need more subscribers. At the podcast, the universe were always here to help the commercial break. They're so helpful. They are so helpful they just paid them yesterday still waiting for the subscribers i'll try to have a little delay in our statistics that things will be back up

and running any day now we're always here to help twenty four hours a day i got your email at four a.m. oh yeah that's uh... i just want to know if you need any more subscribers because you know rent is doing a couple of days. So I just need to know if you want to know where the subscriber is. You know me, I'm a podcaster, I'll pay anything for subscribers. Oh man, I know you. No, you decide to.

Got your social security number and everything. Do a Facebook page, a couple credit cards. You and me are like the same guy. Did you just buy that eye Mac? No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was my assistant, Guns August. Anyway, I'll get back to you on the food of it. Thanks. Bye.

Bye, Brian. Bye, Brian. It's your ego. Tcbpodcast.com, Tcbpodcast.com is where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I read all the show notes. You can listen to all the episodes. And coming to you soon from our pandemic studio, we are going to be broadcasting on YouTube. Or we'll be, we have a, we're recording in this on video so that we can then show it so that we're recording in this on video so that we can then show it to the world on YouTube.

And so I've got some guys that are helping me out with production, right? Some friends of mine, good friends of mine. Actually, it's my brother, and I was helping out. His name is Gustavo. He's a wonderful human being. He's just, and he's figuring out how to do all these cool things with video production so that he can help us out. Yeah, it's really getting up being very cool. So I'm excited to show everybody. But I was like, listen, anything you want to do, brother, it's really getting up being very cool. So I'm excited to show everybody. But I was like, listen, anything you want to do, brother, it's on you. You just go ahead and you do it. I give you free reign, you know, trust your judgment. And my wife is also helping too. It's so good, Davos,

probably like, can I cut you out of the picture? Can I put a big logo in front of your face? No problem, brother. He's like the first thing thing he said, the first thing my wife said is, can you get that fucking windscreen out of your face? I said, there's a windscreen for the microphone and you can't see my face and I said, is that really doing this any harm? She's like, well, second thought. Yeah, it doesn't.

So anyway, go to tcbpodcast.com and you can drop us a line info at tcbpodcast.com. If you have any audio clips, parody songs or something funny that you've done some satire bit or whatever Send it to us and as long as you own it, it's your copyright We'd like to start getting the audience involved in that so send it straight to that email If you have a larger file send me an email and I will figure out how to get those larger files over to me

And don't forget to sign up for the break room Every month we'll send you a newsletter with additional content that you will not here on the regular podcast channels like podcast universe Do you want to carry the the break room? Okay, it's exclusive content. How much are you gonna pay me? What? You know Listen, I can get you six more subscribers to the break room for $5,000.

You just have to pay me before the 15th, I've got to pay for Eisen. Okay, no problem, I'm sending that right over, thanks. And so when you join the break room, you'll get that. And also, I think we're probably gonna, the first three or four episodes of the YouTube video version of the commercial break, we'll only send to the

break room members while we get all the hair and the dogs straightened out. Like, what am I going to do with my studio here? This is completely... I know, I've got the blind. Yeah, I know you've got blinds. We've got blinds. One of the things came off. It's a real class operation. You're going to know that. You have no idea what...

Where are you living in the pandemic? No idea. I feel like you're in a house with it. If you just because I can see the background, I feel like it's what you see on the opening shot of every episode of my 600-pound life. Looks like that with a blinds or missing. And the lady's like, I've been eating cheeseburgers. You have no idea.

Three cheeseburgers a You have no idea. Three cheeseburgers a morning for six years. I can't stop watching that show. You watch it? No, but Rachel loves it too. I don't watch it. My 600 pound. Disturbing.

Horribly disturbing is what it is. At first I found it very interesting. And then I found it kind of like Macabre. Like it was kind of Macabre, but you were watching it like a train wreck. You couldn't stop watching it. And now I find, I have old, of like the utmost empathy for these folks now. Listen, I understand, you know,

you gotta get your shit together and stop eating, yeah, but it's an addiction. It is just like anything else. It's like an alcoholic or a drug addict, and you know, I don't know, but I think some of us see those people with, I look at an epithetic because I know they're just going through a tough time and hopefully they get themselves

out of it. And now I look at those people in my 600 pound life with a lot of empathy because I'm like, holy shit, you got a long road ahead of you kid and you got to put the cheetos down. But it still is very fascinating to see how food, something that we all take for granted, something that we all eat three, two, three times a day, whatever it is, can consume someone's life in such a negative way. And then the physical manifestation of that is amazables. Like, that's the drug. Yeah.

Like drugs. Yeah, that's their drug. It's crazy. And that Dr. Nell Zaden, I just love that guy. He's just like, he's this little German guy. And Mrs. Nell Zaden, he doesn't even, he had barely speaks English, but he's like, he's this little German guy. I'm not sure. I know that. He doesn't even, yeah, he barely speaks English, but he's like, he, he, if someone comes in and they're like, he's like, why haven't you lost three, seventy five pounds? I told you to lose last time.

And they're like, well, you know, it was a rough month for me. And so I had 14 more honey buns and I was supposed to. And he's like, these are excuses. And excuses are killing you. And go ahead and die. I don't care. And they're like, but, but doctor now I need the surgery. I know you need the surgery. I you need the surgery like you need a fork in the eyeball and still you stop eating those freaking honey buns.

You're going to die. He just tells him he's like it is. He doesn't even sugarcoded. He's like, you're fat and you're dying. Stop eating the honey buns. And I'm like, oh, she's doctor now. give them a little bit of a break. But then again, I don't know maybe maybe the school of hard knocks. Yeah, it's tough love. So, um, so we're still here. We're still in the pandemic. I just wanted to let you know that. Yes. I just got a COVID test. I just got a COVID test also. And just to follow up on last week's episode, I did not have coronavirus as I had feared. I just had a bad headaches. that wouldn't be the way for five days. I still have gotten to the bottom of that one, but you have a newborn. I do. I have a newborn. I'm just going to go out on a little. I have a newborn, a two-year-old

and podcast with four subscribers. I mean, yeah. Did you see my cool cup? Did my wife got me? Look at that. It's got the TCB logo on it the commercial break a little bit It's awesome. I think it's so cool I will show people when they see the video But I love it. We've got some merch. Yeah, you're drinking wine and I'm drinking tea because I have a two-year-old and a newborn You know I'll pick that newborn if you want you can send me over to hervings house He loves your grandchildren

He loves you. He just loves you so much. Brian. Did you call herving today? No, mom I'm in the middle of doing the show. Okay, honey But just show me a favor call herving and if you get a chance go by a look at nails because It's just awesome. Hey honey. Guess what I did today. What did you do today, mom? Well, I went and I got a full body massage, but they don't even touch you. How is that possible, Mom? I'm not really sure, but they just told me. They don't even touch you.

They've got to be, she was encased in plastic. Thanks, Mom. I got to go. Okay. Bye, Brian. Bye, Mom. So it's 2020 and like we're also stuck in this fucking pandemic. Luckily, I'm negative, you're negative.

We found a great testing place that's here. But now, who knows if they'll continue to do that? Because the CDC has come out with more, confusing guidelines as far as the pandemic is concerned. Just seems, listen, I really don't fucking care what side of the aisle you're on. We all need to work together to get out of the pandemic with our sanity and our financial lives and ourselves intact. So, you know, I think that

there are some ideas that are good on both sides of the aisle. I agree that shutting down the entire economy for months and months on end probably isn't the wisest of ideas. We got to figure out a way. But my thought is, is if we can't do that, if that doesn't make any sense, then isn't testing the way out of this. Like, don't, then we? Then we just get a test every fucking day almost, right? And that way. I've said that, yeah, that's just saying that. I agree with you. Because I really don't think it's the people that are sick

with coronavirus, like, sick sick and bed sick that are spreading it. It's the people that don't know they have it. That's correct. I agree with you 100%. Talking to people and doing stuff, like, nothing's wrong, and they're spreading it around. That's correct. I agree with you 100%. Talking to people and doing stuff like, they're nothing's wrong and they're spreading it around.

It's just one of those things. They're just like, they're, it's the super spreaders, the people who are spreading before they get sick or whenever, you know, or they're asymptomatic. There's some confusion about that too. The problem is there is no consensus on this. If you turn on CNN, it's one thing. If you turn on Fox, it's another thing. If you look at AP Press, it's a third thing.

You go to the CDC, it's a fourth thing. They're the WHO, Donald Trump, my governor, my local city mayor, they're all saying different things and it's confusing. Fuck, to be honest with you. So I think the best thing to do is just, I guess, protect myself the best that I know how, which of course, I'm an adult and I should make my own decisions.

I get that argument too. But the CDC saying that people shouldn't get tested is like, what? Wait, what? Why would you even say that? Why would you even put that out to anybody? If you have symptoms, go get tested. If you don't have symptoms and you're gonna be in a situation

where you could spread the virus. Or you just were on a flight. I know. We're like going through an airport, which I was. And I wanted to get tested for peace of mind It's I didn't catch it Stop it right now. You're asking for the bar. It's like totally confusing to me And I just don't get it, but okay, let's just take that what I wanted to say is that 2020 probably couldn't get any

Fucking worse unless of course an asteroid hit the earth which is what NASA is now saying might happen. Listen to this, listen to this. Shit, if you haven't heard this one. NASA put out a bulletin a couple days ago where they said, an asteroid is coming into heading toward Earth. It's about six to eight feet long. It's heading for Earth and there's between a one and a two percent chance that it could hit Earth.

Now, that sounds like way too many percentage chances for me because it's fucking 2020. So you know there's a hundred percent chance that it's gonna fucking hit the Earth, right? And so then they say it's likely if it was to hit the Earth, it would hit the Earth in the United States of America. Of course, because the whole world is burning down and starts with this shit show going on here in the United States. But it could hit one of three places, but they are not going to say where. They refuse to say where because they don't want to start panic. That's why it's because they don't want to start the whole world on fire over

that. I mean, Kodley is like, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. You got to tell me where because they've come out with the story at all. I should have just kept that under wraps and white. I don't know. Hopefully. Yeah, it's going to hit somewhere between Los Angeles and New York. It's only 16 to 18 miles wide. Six to eight feet wide sounds pretty big to me if it's coming 165 million miles per hour toward the earth. I'm really scared now. I'm like this sounds this is exactly The way that they're phrasing this is exactly how they would phrase it if they know shit is really gonna happen because they're like Well, listen just everyone calm down here for a second Thank you for coming to the press conference about the asteroid coming to earth. I am the NASA

administrator Donald Trump Jr. the Ford. And I just wanted to tell everybody that yes, an asteroid is heading for Earth. There's between a one and 99% chance that it could hit the Earth. I don't want anyone to worry it's small ish ish ish between six and 800 feet blind. We really can't tell. We don't have a tape measure up It's between six and 800 feet wide. We really can't tell. We don't have a tape measure up there. I just want you to know that's how everyone's settled down.

Thank you. I have a question. Yes, you in the back row with the ball pit. Yes, Brian Green from the commercial break. The what? The commercial break podcast. Okay, it's you. Yes. Yes.

Can you tell us where you think it might hit? Well, listen, I just want to say the following words to you, just to give you some comfort. Yes, we know it's coming. Yes, we know there's a pretty good chance that it's going to hit the earth. The United States has about a 99% chance of getting a direct hit. But I want everyone to calm down because that 1% chance looks really good right now. Can you tell us exactly where it's going to hit? Chicago, Atlanta, Detroit, North Carolina, South Carolina, South Dakota, California, Seattle,

Texas, Mississippi, and New Mexico. One of those. Yeah, thank you. This is what they say when they know it's going to hit somewhere because they don't want panic. They don't want everyone like totally going fucking bananas, right? Which they would, which they would. Of course they would.

If you said there's a 1% chance in the year 20, 20 that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in the United States and New York looks likely. Everyone would run. They'd all run to neighboring states or as far as they could get in New York City would be empty and it would be a total shit show. And it would just be like, you know, fucking, I don't know, prison rules, right?

It would just be insane. And so I think the way that they're phrasing this makes me just a little bit nervous. Like, yes, it might hit the United States, but we can't tell you. We're not going to share with you where. Please, can you please share with us where you can call me. I want you to call me.

Please, because I just want to know it makes me very nervous. And you know when it's going to hit, you know when? Just take a guess. Take a guess. November 2nd-ish. Novemberbers second ish. Election day Total fucking shit show holy I swear to God It's a total for some reason I'm not even that nervous. I'm like well. Just bring it on I guess you're not nervous I mean I'm like

Yes, you're not nervous. I mean, I'm like, ah! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if we're going to do anything about it, or do they have like the lasers that can shoot it, right? Wasn't there some program? Yes, I think Bruce Willis was in that program with Ben Affleck. And Will Smith.

And with... Where's Bruce Willis when you need it? He's hiding in his say an demonic of bunker. That's for sure. The year 2020 is going to turn out to be the worst year in human history. I'm sure of it. With this election coming up, speaking of the election, we saw the Democrats had their DNC, the Democratic National Convention, which was, you know, I watched most of it. I think it was pleasantly done. I'm not sure there

was any huge surprises. I'm not sure that it convinced anybody that wasn't already convinced to vote for Joe Biden to vote for Joe Biden. I will say that I can appreciate Michelle Obama's speech. I thought that Kamala Harris did a good job of, you know, making herself humanized. So I thought, you know, fairs, fair. Let's see if there's, if I can tune into the RNC and see if there's anything that convinces me otherwise because I really am open minded, voted for both sides of the iron, will continue to do so whoever I think is best for the job, right? And I'll root on whoever's in the office.

So I turned over to the RNC and holy shit, man. It's like a fire and brimstone over there. I mean, listen, not that I got to also say this, just to be like absolutely fair about this. The Democrats did quite a bit of fear mongering too. They also said if Donald Trump gets elected, the whole world is going to burn down if we can't form more years. That may or may not be true. We may or may not find out, right?

But they did the same tactics just in a much softer type of way. But Donald Trump's RNC convention, that's like a, I don't know, it's like a reality show on Fox. It's just, it's must see television. This RNC going on right now. I can't even see, I can't even watch it. I can't. I feel like I have to.

I can't even see, I can't even watch it. I can't, I can't. I know, listen. Yeah, we know that. I'll let you tell Yeah, I know. I know. I know. We know that. You told me about the highlights. So there's this lady, Kimberly Gillfoil, right? Kimberly Gillfoil is Gavin Newsom, who is the current governor of California, the most

liberal state in the union without any question, right? And Gavin Newsom is a full-hearted, blood-bleeding heart liberal who's just trying to do his best in California while it's also burning to the ground. It really is. This is his ex-wife who is giving this speech. She is now somehow landed Don Trump Jr. Their boyfriend and girlfriend, which to me is just like the creepiest couple alive. Both of them look like they're, I don't know. They just, yeah, they're weird.

I don't know. I don't know. The whole scene just doesn't feel great to me, right? With Kimberly and Don Jr. So. Yeah. Great. It feels to me, it feels to me like their bedroom is a weird place where weird things happen,

right? It's just, I take it there. I go there in my mind and I feel like, I don't know. to me like their bedroom is a weird place where weird things happen, right? That's it. This is I take it there. I go there in my mind and I feel like, I don't know. Don Jr. dressed up like a thin, like crying in the corner in gill foils. I could some leather strap dress with a strap on on. Like, you're going to get it, Don Jr. I love it, Mistress Kimberly.

So Kimberly decide or whoever decides, I don't know, they're gonna put Kimberly up there to speak on behalf. Was she a Fox News? Was she on Fox News? She was on Fox News. She was a Fox News analyst for a long time. So now she's with Don Trump Jr.

They say, why don't you get up there and give a speech because you know, you're media savvy. And I think that there are people who like Trump Probably like Kimberly Gilful. She's you know formally a fox and all this other stuff She was a super spreader of the virus though, too. Remember that. Yeah, yeah, she got it right It Trump's thing and Dakota and South Dakota North Dakota Kimberly Gilful. Yeah, she got it and had to be like Quarantine, but it showed her like that day talking to donors

and asked them ask. They already had no idea. Had no idea. No, she found out she had it. I would have thought all the silicone in her body would have killed her. But I guess not. Okay, so Kimberly Gilfoyle gets up to give this speech.

And Holi, it is like one, it's something something I've never ever seen anything like this in my watch in all my years of what being kind of like you know Politek guy, right never seen anything like it Kimberly Gillfoil gives she works well. She's speaking to nobody There's nobody in the audience except for Don Jr Who you can see in some videos? He's like kind of given her high five before she gets on stage or as she's on stage. There's nobody in the crowd. There's no there's no crowd. She's just on this huge stage with all these flags lining behind her and she gets up and here's what goes on. Let me let me start you off with I'm just gonna go quickly through it. It's like eight minutes long I'm gonna play the whole thing. Okay. Okay, but listen to the crescendo here right here's how she comes out they will be found dismayed all right all right i think i'm kimberley gillfoil

i speak to you tonight as a mother a former prosecutor alatina and a proud american and yes a proud supporter of president donald jay tromb why because he is the president who delivers for America. Okay, so she comes out, she's loud, but okay, she's going into her speech. First of all, I want to point something out. Do you hear how she's saying America? America. Yes. America. Reminds me of something something doesn't it? Married. Married is what wins us together. Totally reminded me of this right?

I don't know why she's saying America like that, but she's saying a Maraka. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Now two minutes in, she starts talking about her ex-husband state. It is a place of immense wealth, immeasurable innovation and immaculate environment. her ex-husband's state. We like things up. We don't dim them down. Whoa What in the good fuck are you talking about? And Donald Trump's the man We do not turn the fan off. We turn it on

What are you talking about the blackouts? What are their blackouts in California? I mean, they've always been blackouts in California. Haven't they? Yeah, they're the ones. They give a rolling power problem. It is a country of discarded condoms. Discarded condoms. Discarded condoms. Discarded condoms and CNN anchors get in the streets. So what are you talking about, the land of heroin needles? Yeah.

What is she, I don't understand. I don't, I mean, am I missing something? Was there like a story about heroin needles on the streets or something? No. Okay, so just, just make it sure that I'm not fucking crazy. Yeah, he's just, he's just fucking crazy. He's just targeting California. Okay.

Now, ready? We're, now we're going to go six minutes in. Now listen to the vocal. Now, ready? Now we're going to go six minutes in. Now listen to the vocal change here, right? She's already yelling at the crowd. No crowd. It's no crowd. She's already yelling to no one, just a bunch of microphones.

Good evening, America. Oh, wait, hold on. They will defund dismantle and destroy America's law enforcement. When you are in trouble and need police, don't count on the Democrats. Please. 9-1-1, how can I help you? Have you seen this commercial? Yes, I have. The old lady that's trying to call me. When you call 9-1-1, the Democrats won't be there.

Hello. 9-1-1, how can I help you it's me Judy I've fallen and I can't get up let me put you through to Joe Biden the fuck democrat not one one how can I help you right i've got my hands stuck in the car door. I can't get it out. I need help immediately. Let me try Barack Obama.

I can't see what he's up to. Unfortunately, we've defunded all the police departments. Hurry up. I can't help. Here, I've got Nancy Pelosi on the line. The fuck are you talking about, lady? First of all, she says that when you call 911, the Democrats won't be there.

When I call 911, I don't want the Democrats to be there. I want a police officer or a fire department. When I want a bunch of bullshitty do-nothings, and I'll call the Democrats because they're up there doing nothing, also, both sides of the aisle. But now, here's where Kimberly has gotten all the means and craziness that's gone on after her speech This is why this has been such a big mystery. I really yelled listen

Ladies and gentlemen Leaders and fighters for freedom and liberty on the American dream. The best is yet to come Ladies and gentlemen dogs and dolphins fishes and birds I present to you God almighty himself Donald J. Trump. The fuck are you talking about lady? This is why I can't watch. Oh the you shouldn't watch I mean you shouldn't watch if this kind of stuff disturbs you, but when I was watching it, I was like, oh my God, this lady's literally screaming as if she wants to pull people into the...

Yeah. ...and shake them, right? I know what they're doing. They're riling up the base. They're trying to get them emotional. But I think this kind of fell way flat because it's ordering on crazy. And I think even Republicans who are die- republicans probably watch this speech and were like well they did that's a little bit over time

i mean podcast you know how can you help you uh... yeah man i just uh... i just fell down i think i broke my leg uh... ok this is nine one one two wait did you say podcast universe or nine or one i heard that the democrats we've been now we've been taking nine or one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one to Take a joke out there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So now they're going to be thinking, like listen, do be fair Brian. Their Joe Biden is in office too, right? And Joe Biden is an exactly Mr. Wonderful with the words either. Or Joe Biden is running for office and he is an exactly Mr. Wonderful with the words

either. Let's listen to what Joe had to say one time. Now is the time. To heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt, speaks awfully and carry a big stick end of quote. I promise you the president has a big stick Joe good old good old good old good old yeah he has a way with words there was George Bush he was one with the words too, strategic.

We got an issue in America. I use that. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OBGYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country. There's a lot of... And then of course my favorite of all time, and this is where I get this from, is that when, remember that guy Howard Dean,

who was running for president at that one time, and he's like, Yes, where he goes, and we're gonna take it a percent. We're gonna go on time. We're gonna go on, we're gonna go on time. Whoa. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And people were like, imagine how far we'd come politically. That totally got, he just went out of the race at that point, as soon as he went, everyone not voting for that guy.

And now it's like grab him by the pussy. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

That's true. That's so true. It's so true. Like we have come is we've got so far down the Robin Hall of bullshit I know someone screaming like that turned everybody off 20 years ago 20 years ago It's not talking about that 1998 or 94 something like that This this guy Howard Dean for those of you who weren't even born at that point, this guy Howard Dean was running for president as a Democratic candidate. And he was not expected to win anything, but he had momentum.

Just like Barack Obama had momentum going into some of these primaries, he had a little bit of momentum. And I think it was the New Hampshire primary that he won, I think, right? And he's giving a speech, or he came in third or second or something. He even showed up with a heartbeat. And then everyone was saying, Howard Dean is going to be the president because he's got a momentum on him and every and he really did have a lot of momentum. People were getting excited about him. However, he shows up in an auditorium. And this is the only thing that he does. I don't have the full clip with

me. But what he does is he's addressing this rowdy crowd. Everyone's like this and he's like, we want new hamster. And now we're on the way to Ohio. And then we're gonna run to South Carolina. And then we're gonna run! Run! Ah! And all of a sudden, he had to drop out of the race because everyone was like, you're a fucking idiot. You're crazy.

Why did you scream on stage like that? Now you can say grab them by the pussy, uncle Joe's, misogyn people's legs. It's like, what are you, where have we gone? What has happened? Like, can we all just be normal again? That's what I wish for. Oh, holy, it's just like, it's a total shit show, honey.

And I just don't even know what to do about it. I'm really, really, I hope so. At least we can take, we can take some comfort in knowing that we have some, if we don't have political leaders that we can trust and follow, we've got have political leaders that we can trust and follow, we've got some religious leaders that we can trust and follow. Oh, yes, yes. I myself, consider myself a born again sometimes, and the one leader that I like to go to,

the one religious leader that I follow, more frequently than not. I'm often find myself coding him. He of the bread is the value of the womb. Let not dick lay down with a dick or five goats. Shelby slaughtered. My favorite one is the woman's place is in the chain, not out of the chain. That's my favorite one. There's also the one that, yes, that if your woman speaks out of turn, she does 40 days of dishes.

There's a lot of... Yeah. There's it. Cut it out, right now. And there's a lot of great interpretations of the Bible that Jerry Falwell, Jr. has made. And he's probably partly responsible for Donald Trump getting elected, right? Is because he was one of the first religious leaders

that really got on board with Donald Trump, and that putting those evangelicals on the course with Trump, really I think kind of put Trump over the edge, even though Trump lost the popular vote, he won some of the swing states at minute. Jerry Falwell Jr. is a born again Christian. He is in charge or was in charge of Liberty University, one of the most religious, right evangelical colleges

that it might be the only one that's this evangelical. He invited all these students back in the middle of the pandemic, but fear not. Jerry walks like he talks. I just want you to know that. He does, yeah. Because even though Jerry says let not dick-laid with dick, or murder them, or vage with that,

let not the scissors be had, or it shall be bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Coming up with like nursery rhymes for Jerry Paul Lunching. Let not the vagina's touch. It might be too much. You can put that in children's. I could. It's called, yeah.

My daddy has a ding dong. Or if we could call it my two dad's ding dong's. So Jerry Falwell Jr. who is just this religious right person you can go and do your own homework on him, but he's quite the character, right? Yeah. A couple of days ago or maybe a week ago, some guy, a pool boy in a Miami hotel decides that he's back in, backing up just like a couple weeks ago. He got in trouble over the picture with him with the girl that's not his wife and they both have their pants down or their zippers down and he's holding like a glass of wine.

He's on a yacht like a 16-8-foot yacht, right? Like just like the most opulence you've ever seen in your entire life, which is what all these fuckers do Right because they don't have to pay any taxes and they just collecting money from poor people who aren't thinking correctly. Yes, and so He's on a yacht and then he starts taking pictures with a young lady who is not his wife and their pants are unzipped and open and They're kind of like I don't know it like I almost like a sexual innuendo. Maybe a joke, I mean, of course, maybe it was a joke, that's the way it was intended. But you are the president of Liberty University

and one of the largest, Evangelical churches in the fucking world. You can't do that, that's not a joke you can make. You're not afforded to, it's almost comical. It's almost fucking comical. That every time a preacher comes out and says that the homos should be burned, that they end up getting caught

with some young man in a hotel. Or, you know, preach prosperity, and then they get caught in some kind of financial fraud, or whatever it is, and then they go to jail for years because they were doing some shenanigans or whatever it is. It's almost comical.

Everyone's human and we all make mistakes, but they damn these people to hell. They damn everyone to hell that they don't see right with. And then their followers just go blindly often do the same thing, making life tough on underprivileged people who just don't think the way that you do or don't sleep with the same person that you do,

and then fuck those people. But you happen to be doing the same thing in your own fucking bedroom because Jerry fucking Falwell fucking Jr. was apparently paying, it's the way that I read this, paying a pool boy that worked in a Miami hotel to have sex with his wife.

That's not Jerry Falwell paying to have sex with the pool boy's wife. That's Jerry Falwell paying the pool boy to have sex with Jerry Falwell's wife. Yes, while he watched. Yes. It's called Cuckolding. There's a name for it. And it's a pretty popular porn term. Cuckolding means that you are watching your significant other get plowed. And that turns you on or you feel, I don't know, or you dislike being embarrassed or humiliated or something, whatever you're into, Jerry.

Yeah. Junior, cool dude. You wanna watch your wife get plowed from behind by some hot pool boy from Miami. I'm down with it dude, good for you. A plus. Not my thing, you know, I'm pretty bad at sex anyway. I like to keep things just closed tight in my own room.

So I get so bastard doesn't realize that the hot Miami pool boy could be paid to have sex on her. But the way that you pontificate and the way that you make up bullshit, you take the Bible and you twist it all in different kinds of words to fit your agenda and your schedule and all your other bullshit horse shit mother fucking cow dung manure

crap Yes, and you make people hate each other and hate other people because you twist up these words and you make them self-serving And the truth is is that you're doing the exact same fucking thing in your bedroom in in your financial life, with other women, with other pool boys. Jerry fucking fall well junior, congratulations. You are the ass head of the week. I can't even believe. It is. I just like, it just, it just drives me crazy.

And the evangelicals, listen, I don't care if you're an evangelical, it doesn't matter to me. You're born again, good for you. That makes you feel better. I love it. Congratulations. It's all the bullshit that you spew at other people. The judgment, the pure judgment that you put on other people's lives for stuff that

you're probably doing yourself. That's why I don't have that. I'm a judgment free person. And because I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be judged. I got plenty of skeletons in my own closet. I've been wrong plenty of times. I've done stupid shit.

The entirety of my life I've been doing stupid shit. Look at me, I'm doing a podcast to three people. Ah! Yee! Would you like to make that four people? Yes, I would. 75,000 partners. Care of Bob Jones to Venezuela.

The Alive Coin. I thought you said Bitcoin. Like coin. I think a little trouble with Bitcoin. A little bit of trouble with Bitcoin. I had some people from the FBI show up. That's my friend's alarm. You could send it via Litecoin.

I'd appreciate it. Okay, fine, I will. Give me those subscribers now. Okay, no problem. Be careful. You're going to have a heart attack. Our first two YouTube videos are going to be me having a stroke. It just doesn't get all... he was gonna be me having a stroke. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

It just doesn't get all. Oh my god, it doesn't. That clip does never get all. I love that guy screaming like that. And quite frankly, now I take Howard Dean over all these y'all who said he's like, Howard, come on back buddy. It's like a moderate Democrat.

He was such a nice guy. It seemed like such a nice guy. And then you'd like, that was a funny thing about it. Is that he was such a nice guy. You seem like such a nice guy. And then you'd like, that was a funny thing about it. Is that he was such a nice guy, so down, you know, some calm and just, and then all of a sudden, he got overwhelmed with his, he did, he got so excited that he won something. He's like me when I see a new subscriber.

Ah! Where's Spotify when you need it? I got to do subscriber. Actually, I'm going to make... I'm going to put on read-no notifications every time we get a subscriber. It's going to go... Well, maybe I should do that when people start up subscribing from this particular episode. Oh my god.

Oh my God. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh my God. I don't know what else to say about Jerry Falwell, dude, or I think I've said it all, but the judgment. He resigned. I think I saw that.

Yeah, he had to resign from... He loves you. He loves you. I'm trying to do. When you got your dick out on a yacht, next to some young, you know, it's a sassy test, and then you're letting the pool boy fuck your wife. I mean, yeah.

And then I'm out of the. I never got that. I don't understand what the cook holdings all about. I don't get it. I mean, if you're into it, cool, but I just don't get it. It's to the wrong. I mean, to each of their own is correct.

That's, and that's one of those things. And it's like, I forget who was talking about this. Maybe it was Howard Stern a couple of years back, but they went to like a cook holding conference or something. Oh wow. And I was watching video clips of the cook holding conference. Not of the guys actually, you know, people actually have

a guy that were at the conference. And they were just seemed like perfectly normal guys. And they were like, I just like watching my wife get plowed. Yeah. That's the thing. I like watching her get it right in the conference. And they were just seem like perfectly normal guys. And they were like, I just like watching my wife get plowed. Yeah, that's a thing. I like watching her get it right in the rear. And I'm like, I don't understand, it does not compute for me. I don't understand why you don't want to do that. You have a perfectly lovely wife.

Why don't you just, why don't you just have sex with her? I mean, if you need to spice things up, get a deal though or something. I know. I know. Put a clondike bar on her tits. I mean, come on, let's go. What do I.

Thanks, the world came for you. You know, I've been to tell you last week that I, that my father listened to my mom's impression on my podcast. Yeah, my parents have been divorced for some time for many years actually. And so my mom and my dad, they don't really talk anymore. You know, it's not like,

there's no reason to communicate besides if the children are doing something or whatever. My dad's happily remarried and I let him listen. And so he was like, long ago, taking a walk and I let him listen to my, to the impression of my mother and then to my mother's voicemail. And he was like, how did you, how did you get your mom

to say all those things? And I was like, on which one? And he was talking about the one where I was doing the impression. He's like, is that your mom's voice? And I was like, no, dad, it's my voice. And he's like, oh, sounded like her voice. Hi. Hi. Hi. 10. It's my voice and he's like, oh, sounded like her voice.

You did a impression. Yes, he did. Very good. How are you doing, Haldley? I'm good. Is everything good with you? Did you know that I saw on Fox News that you can now go to concerts? Everything's okay. The fire is made away, honey. Cool. Yeah. They don't even touch you. Yeah. Anything that's that's right. They said you could be in a closet with other people singing and everything's just fine.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. As a matter of fact, you don't even have to get tested anymore. That's right. No, don't worry about the tests. Yeah, my my 88 year old grandfather told me this yesterday, when I saw me, he's like, there, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Is this your great father have a father? Who does he need a father? Because her being a children, her being wants to adopt her father. I just talked to him. You know, canasadine, the teen, listen, canasadine. You know her, you know her, you know her, canasadine.

I don't. Okay. Well, she's from canasadine. She's only got one eyeball. And she falls asleep at the table sometimes in her soup. She watches CNN and she says the virus is still around. She's only got one eyeball. She falls asleep at the table sometimes in her suit. She watches CNN and she says the virus is still around. But I went to elegant nails and they don't even touch you. It's amazing.

It's unbelievable. I've never even gotten the virus yet. I don't even think anybody has the virus to be honest with you, Holly. No, it's made out. I think it's all made up. Yeah, so sell more t-shirts. Hey, mom, it's Brian. Oh, hi, honey, I didn't know you were there.

Yeah, sell more witch t-shirts. All Biden. All Biden, mom? Yeah, you know Joe Biden. I think it's just Joe Biden, mom. No, it's Joe Biden, he's like, I'm a shit. I saw it on Fox News.

He was born in Ireland. He's not even a kid. And he can't walk. Oh my God. Did you know that people in Mexico are voting by mail? By the million. That's what I read.

The ladies at elegant nails look like they've been voting three or four times to themselves. Okay, mom, I'm going to let you go. This is just racist bullshit now. Oh no, honey, I'm not racist. I just want to put America first. You sound like Kimberly Gillfoil. What a nice young lady that. Yeah.

Attention dolphins and trumpets and saxophones. God Almighty Himself appointed us, anointed us, to run the gutter. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Thanks Howard, I appreciate it. Oh, holy what are we gonna do with ourselves? Wow! Wow! Thanks, Howard. I appreciate it.

Oh, holy, what are we going to do with ourselves? Yeah. Take it one day at the time, right? Yeah, I think that. One day at the time. I'm very excited that this is our 21st podcast because we're legal. Oh, yeah, we're legal now. That means we can go on YouTube and watch bad videos.

Sweet. Yeah, I'm just waiting until they, you know, on YouTube, they have like a whole like, I was thinking to myself, oh, if we ever get, if we ever get more than 13 subscribers, we could make some money on this, you know, we could actually, you know, get some views and make some money, but they have this whole monetization platform.

And I think you have to like, your content has to be pretty squeaky clean to like be a part of that monetization platform. That's with like the big companies, like Procter and Gamble and Walmart and stuff. They all got together and said here are the here are the YouTube channels we don't want our ads run on. And although the commercial break doesn't you know we just have an audio channel right now on YouTube, I'm pretty sure that they're gonna add us to it. They probably will.

Walmart, how can I help you? Yes, I was wondering if you'd like to run your ads on my podcast. What's the name of your podcast? The commercial break. Oh no, no, no, we just had a big board meeting. About this yesterday. No, thanks. Thank you.

You're awesome. Delicious. Matter of fact, I can't even talk. You're going to go. Bye. Okay. Bye. It's your Walmart. Bye, Brian. It's your Walmart. Call the Democrats. Oh, call the Democrats. That's right. DCB podcast is where you go to read all the show notes. You can listen to all the old episodes. Listen to them. Download them there. We're available on Spotify, Google, Apple, every single major podcast platform that I can think of, and I've called all of them to run a banner.

Every single one of them, you can find us there, tune in and we drop your episodes. Every Wednesday, right around midnight, and if you have any audio clips, or you're funny stories or whatever that you put in audio and you want to send it to us so that we can play it on air at some point I promise I'll do you right you just have to own the content don't send me like Don't send me like Saturday night live

And expect that I'm gonna play it because I can't that's how I could sued and we don't have any money Yeah, the money's just going one way right now in this podcast Lowing away. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. No problem, get on those subscribers. Oh, look at that, the one subscriber already. What's that guy's name? John Smith. Isn't that who I sent the money to? Yeah, he must really like your podcast.

Yeah. All right, get on that pod universe. Until next Wednesday, when we have another episode of The Commercial Break, I love you, Hody. We are going to get through this. I love you, Brian. Yes, we are. I'm confident.

Bye! Bye! Email us at thecommercialb at gmail.com. Find us and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at the Commercial Break. New episodes drop every Wednesday. We can be found on Spotify, iHeart Media, Apple, Google and all major podcast providers. The commercial break is a great middleweight production, written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley. you