The Commercial Break - The State Of The Break 2021

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

Bryan and Hoadley discuss how exactly someone gets inside a whale's mouth! Then, Bryan gives his first ever "State Of The Break" address. He reviews the podcast's history so far and goes all the way to back to Episode 1 in order to illustrate just how far they have come. Hint: not that far!  Text or leave us a message: +1 661.237.8296 FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's continuing coverage of Crab Bapples Summer Beer Festival. It just so happens that our brand new reporter, Billy Draingas, has pulled the short straw on this particular assignment, Billy, what can you tell us about this year's Summer Beer Festival, have you had an opportunity to try a few of the brand new prunes. I've never been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on

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on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've been on live television before, but I've on live you get dizzy, I've never ever brought a lot of television. I never, ever be on a lot of programs. I only went down to super slide. When I went down a lot, I was scared half the death. I just freak out. Sounds like a sack full of fun, Billy. We'll get back to you.

We'll let you collect your thoughts. We'll be back after this, commercial break. and then the whale eats them up and then drops them off up top. So he'll do a sore about eating you, and then he can be right up. And does he like, does he push him with his tongue out of his mouth? Like, I want to see video. I don't know how I went down.

Yeah. All the things not to be recorded on video, this. It's like, just like the Bigfoot show. They have the same cameraman as the guy from, just like the Bigfoot show. They have the same camera man as the guy from Billy from the Bigfoot show. I'm sorry guys, I didn't even try and real hard. A couple of weeks ago, Chrissy my friend, we reached one half of one million listeners, down my listens to this program. Over 350,000 people quarter well over quarter of a million people Listening to this show

Since we since our inception. It's exciting. It's very intense. Thank you Downloaders 200 and one countries of 207 available countries have listened to our program. Yes Don't know Antarctica and Antiartica. Kirk left us a comment and said, dude's voice made it four minutes in and that's four minutes of my life that I'll never get back. You suck. Thanks Kirk. Incredibly incredibly insightful criticism. Thank you for the advice. We forwarded that on to our HR department.

We will get back to you as soon as possible. And by the way, you seem to have a great voice. And you're spelling in all capitals and with letters and numbers. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, jump! I'm not a little bit of a commercial break! I'm not an Instagram fan. Happy New Year!

Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there on the podcast universe. I hope you're doing well as we are. Lots and lots of things to celebrate. We'll get to that in just a minute, but first. I just got back from a whale's mouth. So you hear about this shit?

Oh my God, that's fucking bananas. That's fucking bananas. That's the man in the mouth. Into the mouth of the whale, like fucking moby dick. I can't even believe it. It's the most insane thing I've ever heard my entire life. Yeah. No.

It's the most insane thing I've ever heard in my life. How do you get in and out of a whale's mouth? Oh, no, he did something, right? At first I was like, clearly this is a bunch of horseshit. Like, no one goes inside and outside of a whale's mouth. That doesn't happen. Who gobbles up a human? And just a gnaw, I mean he has a breeding apparatus on too.

So he's a big bulky human, right? And then you're like, oh shit. He said to took him a minute to figure out what was going on. Yeah, he thought he had been hit by like a waver into a rock or something like that. And then he realizes he's in the way else now that he starts punching his mouth. I'm actually in a whale's mouth.

Hey dude, let me out. Hey dude, let me out. I love the comment that his wife said, he needs to quiz joys. Seriously, you don't, I would never go near motion again. No, I mean, that's, at all, I wouldn't take a bath.

I'd be scared of the shower. I wouldn't want to brush my teeth. I'd be like, no, I'm afraid of humans gonna go in there. I mean, it's just literally insane to me, this story. And at first, like I said, at first, I just had a hard time even believing it was true I thought well clearly these guys like the town drunkard and he's like oh Well

I went in the way was mouth and I came out of the way of mouth that you got your dangits in your lung It's all right, but then you realize that the guys like legit He's been doing this for 30 or 40 years everyone that knows him respects him He like manages a small little company and he's been doing this for 30 or 40 years, everyone that knows him, respects him. He manages a small little company and he's like, I won the mail, it was Mal. What can I say? And the guy's like, there's no big deal. He's like, yeah, what the mail's Mal?

It happens. It happens out there. Leo came up, just ate me up, spit me out. Oh, that's Tuesday. I gotta get back on the wash. Excuse me, gotta get back to work. It's like, holy shit, dude, you are a man of steel. You go into a whale's mouth. You get spit back out and then you're on the wash, excuse me, gotta get back to work. It's like, holy shit dude, you are a man of steel. You go into a whale's mouth, you get spit back out,

and then you're on the job the next day. You scare me away from work altogether. Just be like, I'm retiring. I don't care what, I don't care how homeless I am. I'm never going back to that job. That's my cue, exit stage left, or out of the whale's mouth. And the craziest part is there are, now listen, I think these animal like behavioralists, people I understand it's an actual legitimate practice

on like podcasting, but these animal behaviorists, some of them are saying the whale spit them out above the surface on purpose. Like he was trying to help the dude out. Yeah. So I don't know. Then you take it down like an extra rabbit hole, like I would, like I do.

And I say to myself, was the guy in imminent danger? Like was there a shark around that he didn't know about? And the whale was like, ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, maybe did it to save that. It's my little baby fins can't grab him. Yeah. Let's go that route. I like the idea that the whale was saving him. Maybe he smelled the guy was about to have a stroke or I don't know, like something.

He was like, oh, go to save this little shithead human out here. And you know, it's just like, oh, my little baby wings, I can't catch anything. I'm just gonna eat them up, spit them out. Right? He has no teeth. So he was never in any fear of actually being harmed. And apparently they said, listen,

the opening of the whale's mouth is about the size of a cantaloupe. So there was zero chance he was getting, his throat is the size of a cantaloupe. Oh, okay, okay. While the mouth must apparently be the size of a semi-truck. I mean, how do you get a human into your mouth? That's crazy, It's crazy.

Anyway, good for you, dude. I know best to you. Best to you, best party story ever. Right. That time I went into a whale's mouth, and he spit me out up at the top of the surface. He's a hundred feet down in the ocean, and then the whale eats him up,

and then drops him off up top. He's a sore about eating you. Let me get you right up. Who? And does he like, does he push him off up top. He'll do a sore about eating you. Let me get you right up. And does he like does he push him with his tongue out of his mouth like I want to see video. I'm going down. All the things not to be recorded on video. This it's like just like the big foot show. They had the same cameraman is the guy from Billy from the Bigfoot show. I'm sorry guys. I didn't even try on real hard. I just don't know where to point the camera sometimes, so I pointed down the ground.

I get scared. So I pointed down the ground. You say, Rona, I run the other way. Keep up with it. Keep up with it. Keep up with it. I know Jeff and I watched a couple other episodes of the show and it is really funny.

The most ridiculous show you've ever seen. Like I said, it is daring you to believe it. Thank you. It's daring you to take it seriously. I know. It's like, I'll show you and you're Dorito covered and finger balls to change the channel. Ha, ha ha ha.

No. It is the stupidest show I've ever seen, but it's so stupid, it's funny. It's like, satirically funny. You know, like, it's a vinyl tap, right? It's a movie about a band. Thank you. A fake band, it ended up being a real band, right?

And so at some point you just didn't know what was truth or what was not. I mean, back then, now of course we all know that the joke did, it's the funniest movie one of the funniest ever, right? But so is this show. It reminds me of Spinal Town. Like these guys clearly aren't serious.

That's right. I was down by the Wacken tree. Where we all like to take out and whack and get a little privacy through a rock down and came right back up Did he say to the one guy fell into what was supposed to be a river but it was a big puddle it was a big puddle Look at her here comes John pop pop pop pop her big button get. Keep on home. He's skinny now.

I love John Pover. That was a fun. Oh my God. So much fun. We'll do it again. I promise tcbpodcast.com is where you go to read all the show notes. Find more find out more about Chrissy and I. You can watch all the video. You can listen to all the audio right there from one location. No need to go to multiple locations for that kind of information, you can get it right at tcbpodcast.com. Why do anything else? If you'd like to text us or leave us a message 470-5848-449 standard text messaging rates, do apply for those of you out of the country.

Now, you just got a couple more days, and by my estimation, just a couple more few more days. Yeah. To enter into the contest to win $500 in gold.gifcards of your choice, but this is what you got to do. You got to go to the commercial break on Instagram. You must follow us. You must leave a comment. There's a post there.

You'll see it. It says $500 giveaway. You must leave a comment quoting your favorite line from your favorite episode or a comment about your favorite line from your favorite episode or comments about your favorite line from the episode, we will reply when we do your instantaneously entered into wind of $500. Make sure you tag a friend or you can do the same thing. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Now, we realize you can't tag a friend in the YouTube comments. So just find your favorite episode or listen to your favorite watch favorite episode and leave a comment under there and you will be entered into it. Okay. Now,

let's get to the exciting news. Yes. Don't find us on Clubhouse. Just make sure I want to make sure my messages are clear. I don't want them to get scrambled. So in an effort to keep the messages clear, if you haven't been with us in a while, forget a clubhouse, we're not in the video. Here's the exciting news. I think it's time that we all just take a minute and think about a couple of things. Let's reflect on what's been happening over the last year and some change.

Okay. It's the State of the Break Address. Okay. I hear you hence the their fourth that today shall be the time when I update all of them their listeners on the state of the break. It shall be known as state of the break day. This the whatever day of whatever months you are happened to be listening to the show. Everyone's in a blue moon, I shall give a state of the break address in order to update and identify ongoing and coming and goings of this there the their commercial break

So let us all now bow in prayer and you say hello salute as bow in prayer and salute to the flag of the break And do we have a flag? Yes, we do. Here it is!

Waving in the flatulence of the TCB Studio Air. Waving underneath the extremely dangerous fan that is hanging on by one screw for the entire life of the commercial break. Thank you very much. Here it is. Are you ready? Yes. What we're doing this show for a year and some change. I think we're going, I think we might be getting close to a year and a, not a year and a half. Year and five or four or five months.

Yeah. Then we start in April of last year. April 15th of last year. Okay. June 15th. Carry the one minus three. A plus B, A plus J equals C. And what that means is we've been doing the show for a while. We are some odd episodes in, just short of a hundred,

and a couple of weeks ago, because I wanted to do this couple of weeks ago, but we did do this a couple of weeks ago. But I forgot to turn on the microphone. So, you know, another episode lost in space. Lost in space. A couple of weeks ago, Chrissy, my friend, we reached one half of one million listeners, down with listens to this program. Over 350,000 people, well over a quarter of a million people,

listening to this show since we since our inception. It's so exciting. Thank you. Very excited. Thank you. Downloaders. 200 and one countries of 207 available countries have listened to our program. Yes. Don't know Antarctica and anti-artica. But is it Antarctica and trans-artica? Okay. Those two locations are not mappable. There is no IP addresses there. So I don't even know if anybody would listen there. If they could listen there, I don't think it's inhabited by anybody. They might have downloaded it and then traveled. It's very possible. We have had exactly one commercial break, citing one person.

Notice us in a crowd. I think it's because I was who had my dog walking around the hotel lobby. Did you have a t-shirt on too? No, because if I did, then I certainly would have called bullshit on myself. I would, I don't believe any of this is true, by the way. I'm like, it's hard to wrap your head around.

How many people have listened to the commercial rank? It's hard to wrap your head around. How many downloads there really are? It's a immense amount of traffic for a podcast that in podcast years is not that old. Some people have been doing this for 10 years, almost, 12 years, almost. for a podcast that in podcast years is not that old. Some people have been doing this for 10 years, almost, 12 years, almost.

And I think it's safe to say, just based on statistics alone, that most people will be waiting well into their fifth or sixth year to get 500,000 downloads. Okay. That's just statistically speaking. I'm not speaking about any specific podcast. But the show has really done well for itself. I mean, from but the show has really done well for itself. I mean, from that standpoint,

has really done well for itself. Best to you, Marshall. Thank you, thank you. 51, all 51 states have been listening. Okay. And do listen every single time we put out an episode of 51 states. We are huge in the Netherlands.

Yes. For what reason I don't know, maybe that's just where a server is based and people are pinging the server. Because I found out that could be a thing, right? I don't really know that they're listening from there. But I'm happy to report that the top places listening to our podcast are Denver, Colorado, New York, New York, New York, New York, Chicago, Illinois, Lincoln, Nebraska, Orlando, Florida, Jacksonville, Florida. Don't forget San Diego, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, Seattle, and Portland. Nice. Las Vegas, not really, not so much Las Vegas.

Austin, Texas, and Houston, Texas, Salt Lake City, Utah, all these places are listening to us. Incredibly large number. Okay. At least four or five people at a time put out an episode. We're starting a tour. We're coming right to your home. I don't mean your hometown. I mean your coffee shop. Yeah. I'd actually like to borrow your living room and get the other three listeners in your town to come. It's our tour Those damn girls with what is it?

Two girls and not two girls on a cup. What's that podcast that Girl's gotta eat. Yes They sell out like, you know, 4,000 seed arenas or seeders up in New York or whatever it is. I'm not sure we could throw a living room full of people at any one particular place. Maybe Atlanta, maybe. Maybe. Maybe Denver, maybe.

Maybe New York possibly, probably Denmark, but I have no idea where we would go into. No. Like, I don't even know, I don't even know that people are listening for real. It might be a joke. We might be passed to be even passed around as a joke. Listen to these idiots.

They make fun of sex dolls. Ha ha. Here's sex dolls out of the name, Queen of Life. You're so nuts, woke. So that's it. We're here. We've here. We've arrived.

Where I don't know and how for how long I'm not sure, but I just wanted to say the following, very sincere things. Thank you, Chrissy. Thank you, Brian. Thank me. Why, frankly, the show is not possible without me. That's not it.

Without me, the show is not possible. Although we recently discussed if you happened to die, which I hope you don't, then Astrid and I would take over. We would reach superstar status. Superstar status. And you would turn over in your grave. What is? What if I passed away?

Astrid came in behind the microphone and he went from half a million downloads in a year and a half to half a million downloads in a month. People were like, oh, thank God, that fucking blow hard has gone. Jack asked. But I think it's also important to thank a couple of notable human beings. Number one, Astrid, who has been tirelessly working on this program since day one.

She never stops. She never complains directly to my face about. Yeah. Oh, no, I've heard her grumbling a lot under her breath. Because I am a hard customer to deal with. I like things the way I like things that I don't want to many other way. And we have to thank our friend Tina who has helped out with the show also. A big, great, big hug.

Thank you to Gustavo who also does a lot of work for the program behind the scenes. All of our regular listeners, William Sarah, Danny, my brother, Danny. I'll give Jeff a shout out. Jeff's certainly a shout out. Rachel who's been on the program. Yes. Yeah, there's Sandy and Terry and Giznaz,

there's a guy on YouTube who's been sending me comments. Okay, great, Giznaz. Great name, Giznaz. Giznaz. Is that like Giznaz? It's like a great name, just not, just not. Is that like just nozzle? It's like a just nozzle. All right, and you're doing this, you're doing this. And all of the people who have been listening since the very beginning of which there are probably

four of you. Right. But all of the people who have we've picked up along the way, every person, every one of you who is listening in your car while you take a run, while you're picking up your children from school, your horrible parent, while you are doing whatever it is you're doing every time that you turn on the commercial break, it's affirmation that whatever we're doing here behind the microphone is resonating. You're enjoying it and there's really no other way for us to know unless you actually reach out and touch base with us, which has been happening a lot also.

Yes. So we thank you on both accounts. We want you to be involved in the show. This is, we'd like to think it's a two way street, but if we're only talking to you, then it's really just a one way street. So if you ever have any comments or you want any content reviewed

or you think you have something funny to talk about in the show or you want to come on the show because you have a funny story or interesting whatever Just reach out. We're easy. We'll respond. I promise one of us or someone in the crew will respond to you And you know, we'd like to we'd like to talk to you. So please continue to reach out. So I now must state our goals moving forward and it's now our goal to get 501,000 downloads before the end of the year. That's an additional 1,000 downloads.

We're gonna set the bar low. And that way, we can accomplish these goals with ease. I don't want any drama happening. Plus, it just depends on how many shows we actually have to record before one gets on the air. So let's review where we've been. We started this show on April 15th, 2020, the year of our Lord pandemic, which was a,

April 15th, you gotta remember, was just at the beginning of all of this. Right when the shutdowns were starting to happen, the mask mandates and all that other stuff were starting to happen, I had originally had an idea that I was going to do a show about a commercial about commercial real estate hence the name the commercial break. Yes. But because the business that I am in is pretty secretive or these people like to keep it a secret when you're spending hundreds of million dollars, you know, building a building.

You don't want your private financial information out there in the world, right? I quickly realized that if I wanted to keep my day job, which I had hoped to have podcasting with you with my day job, but I had no idea back then. But if I wanted to keep my day job, I couldn't do it. Plus, I didn't want to talk about my fucking work for fucking another four hours a week.

Yeah, it's kind of boring. Yeah, it is kind of boring, actually. I mean, it could be exciting. But then again, I certainly run the risk of lawsuits and people not doing business with me on some stuff. Thank you. Wait, hold on. Have an idea.

Yes. I think what you should do is possibly start a 900 number line. Oh, you'll shock me. You'll shock me. You'll shock me. Secret commercial real estate. Shocking. Secret commercial real estate.

Secret. Yes. Shocking. Confession. He built a building. Shocking. Secret, commercial real estate secret. Shocking. Confession. He built a building. Shocking. And so then I told him, put an elevator in it. Shocking confessions. Hi, this is Brian.

What's your name? I'm Judy. Hi, Judy. Do you want to know shocking confessions of the commercial real estate industry? Yes, I do. One time, I added an extra zero onto the preferred equity stack of a three-story building, and no one found out. Shocking!

One time. No one found out. Shocking! No. One time. One time, the developer forgot to pay the landscape for two months, and the mean was on the building. Shocking! One time, the engineer decided that the air conditioning units went on the right side of the roof. Oh my god. Shocking.

You get it. It was a pretty boring adventure. But I actually did record a couple of episodes for that, or like in on video, which is, which is, I go back and look at it. Oh my god, it's so bad. I am so I'm Brian Drenan today. This is commercial real estate daily. Welcome to the commercial break today in news Simgrib buzzer My wife is behind the camera like

And I was like what do you think behind the camera like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, what do you think? She's like, yeah, sure. You want to run with that? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. You want to run with that?

Yeah. Why not? I don't even know what she's talking about. I know. I'm big street ass. Street. Filming. She was.

She had like the ring lights. She was getting it already. And I was sitting at a table. It's real love. I know she does. I was sitting at a table And I'm like, hi, I'm Brian Green. Welcome to the commercial break today on real estate daily Okay, today on real estate daily apartments get built Today on Real Estate Daily, apartments get built. Apartment get built, people move in. More shocking news next.

Breaking news, another building has an elevator, shocking. So that was the last one. So that lasted a week. I did two episodes of that, the last of the week. Then I wanted to do a show where I was gonna do the show all about me and my personal opinions, and I was gonna find people with extraordinarily

opposite opinions, like extremely unpopular opinions, like in cells and Nazis and, you know, racists and all this stuff, and I was gonna bring them on the show, and try and have a conversation. I know. So we try to haul her all over Vera, and get to the bottom of things, right? I was gonna find out what made them tick

and why did they think that way? Not all the talking points, but the actual minutia, like the actual like, where did you go wrong? Right, right. Without the normal screaming match that goes on between the thing. I found that, you know, anybody that I talked to about this online basically told said no,

or they were just assholes in the first, like they didn't want to have anything to do with it. And if they did want to have something to do with it, you could see that they were not going to be sincere about anything. They were just going to push their talking points and their agendas, like most people do. And so, and again, boring, like there's a million people who do that kind of show. So then in some time in late March, I called Chrissy, or a text that I, and I said,

listen, I had this idea for a podcast. And she said, great, what's the idea? And I said, it's a podcast. I tend to turn on the microphones. See what happens. And I said, you know, do you want to join me for an episode or two, or maybe, you know, an episode here or there? So that I, So I'll experiment. Yeah, do you want to join me for an episode or two or maybe, you know, an episode here or there?

So that I will experiment. Yeah, like I so I have a little so occasionally I have a little back and forth with somebody Sure, let me know we'll figure it out. I Had a microphone here. I bought a microphone for the first commercial break. I had a microphone here Coronavirus was now in full. Yeah, raging and so I swung by Chris's condo building and I threw the microphone into her car. I said, I did the air hug. Look at my microphone. And a couple of weeks later, and I plugged it in and she plugged it in and a couple of weeks later, And I plugged it in. And she plugged it in. And a couple of weeks later, this is what came out. Gold.

Gold. Podcast gold. I'm sorry you're going to have to suffer for the next five minutes through this. But I'm going to show you, in case you haven't heard, I'm going to let you listen to what the very first part of the very first commercial break sounded like. Turn down, turn down your speakers if you want to.

Hi and welcome. I'm Brian Green, host of the commercial. Hi. Hi. Brian Green. Welcome. I welcome. If you already turned the program off, I don't blame you. I'm welcome. If you already turned the program off, I don't blame you. What was I going for here? What angle was I taking up? I don't know. I don't know why I felt this was so funny, but I did.

I thought it was so funny. Rishal break. I'm a son, a father, a husband, a passionate pragmatist. A passionate pragmatist. Pragmatic. Prag passionate pragmatist. Pregmatic. Pregmatic. Pregmatic. Pregmatic. Pregmatic. Pregmatic. Hell no, we won't go unless you're being pragmatic.

What? Pregmatic. I think I just just because I had two peas. It's a stupid product. It's just a Facebook doctor and a Twitter epidemiologist. Well, that is true. But just, I started the commercial break after the world suddenly.

I started the commercial break exactly one minute ago and I turned on the microphone. That's it. We had been doing it for years. I started the commercial break back in 1962. Lockdown in early 2020. It's like we're in a real-life commercial break. Every podcast will interview experts and idiots alike. We didn't interview anybody. Anytime we interview anybody, it's a big fight of train wreck that we don't run.

I think we interviewed Jeff and Rachel. Jeff and Rachel and we got an Oscar. I mean, it's been a couple doctors. And you know, there's been a couple, but you know, we keep on inviting, we keep on inviting, who's a guy? We keep on inviting, no, not Wally. We got him. The famous guy. We keep on inviting, Zach Efron onto the show.

He keeps on ignoring us, so we pretend like he's inviting us to the show. We haven't invited... I don't know... anyway, this was a blueprint for what we thought was gonna happen. Yes. We'll give advice on how to survive this lockdown with only high-speed internet, Netflix, food, and air conditioning. We'll talk to people with opposing viewpoints, and we'll get the stories behind them. What? Yeah, we never did that. Together we'll dive deep into the world world during and after the age of corona.

So enjoy the episode. It is the age of Aquarius! It has corona! Age of the Black Plague! Like the Bronvage? It's kinda like... Corona Age. Only a shit stain. The black Like the bronze it's kind of like Rona page only a shit stain

Of this commercial break That music in the background That's a good dying cat I'm gonna take that heart. B-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me 13 seconds learning how to turn the tables. YouTube can be a Nigerian real estate scammer online for free. I'm going to show you how to make multiple fake Facebook pages and you're going to become the king of internet marketing by my series now today 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling and right now if you act quickly I'm going to throw in another package for 1999 plus 1999 ship in a handling. It's a deal you can't beat, and a two-of-friend, and a two-of-family. Give it to your dog, it doesn't matter.

Everyone's gonna be making money on this brand new, Siri. Okay. So this may be the only funny part of the first 26 episodes. At least I thought it was funny. Yes. And now it's actually a voicemail. It's a voicemail though, I've been a boy. I left Jeff ever a voice mail. And now it's actually a voice mail. It's a voice mail that I've reported. I left Jeff ever a long night of drinking

when I had a restaurant one night. We were talking about real estate and the get risk. The scammy scammers. The scammy scammers. That's right. So now, so okay, so okay, we managed to push one funny thing. So I thought I had this voicemail.

I happened to be listening to it when I was editing the show because I thought it was funny. And I was like, oh, I should put that that in there and the music for the commercial break was chosen Because I wanted to find some music to play under that voicemail Okay, and that's the music I felt like was a good fit for this for whatever reason Yeah, and it stuck as the beginning of the show yeah, listen to the train wreck That is the first minute of this show. It's a train fucking episode one season one minute one Coming up on this episode of the commercial break

We're gonna get you a microphone Perfectly fine say Did you have microphone? I'm actually... It sounds perfectly fine to be honest with you. You sound perfectly fine. Say, no, you don't. You sound like you're in a train tunnel. And I'm like, next to you, on this. On this one, on this one, on the next one. You sound fine, on the next one, on this one, on the next one. You sound perfectly. That's Dolby Stereo Quality right there.

Steven Spielberg should be ashamed of himself Sorry the best podcast in the world I'm surprised more people have already tuned in I'm surprised what I'm allowing the people waiting to download the podcast I knew that you were recording. I thought we were still just trying to get set up. I didn't know what I was doing I was just like no oh, press record. I guess that's what you do. I had no idea. I had no idea, no clip.

Oh, let's get this. However, looking at a map. I was nervous. Oh, we all were. We had no idea what was going on. None. Meanwhile, Jeff's in the background. Fun, like, hey, what's up, dude?

What are these two doing? Another just trying to record a podcast. Cool, let me back to you guys. I know, one of these two fucking morons doing. My marriage would be perfect. Percy and Brian. If it wasn't for her friendship with Brian. People live, you've got the best the bad we get into more trouble

after two are spouses are amazing people they probably have a what's happening going for the problem they do they're probably talking to each of these two morons just let them have their fun for a couple of years and then we'll tell them the bad news. It's been us doing all the downloading. I've got two hundred and twelve thousand overcast accounts

Yeah, use your face You've got back to the permissions Oh my god back to the Allow I was for Asian's I think back to I can't even listen like it's just Why did you record this I don't even listen like it's just so bad I don't know I did I recorded I actually played it on that as if it was part of the episode it was part of the episode Oh, it's just so bad. I've said this a million times and I'll go back and I'll say it again I wish we could do those first 10 episodes with the exception of Shamal and Mdengdon

Yeah in the garbage because they really are bad, But you gotta remember, it's like a, we're a work in progress. I think, yeah, I think episode number 79 is bad and we just recorded that a couple weeks ago. So, you know, I guess we're just always, you know, a work in progress. Yes, evolving, learning. We always try and give you the best show

that we possibly can. We have, we have, at the time. Yeah, at the time. Some people are going, what's changed? They're acting as if things are different. They're acting as if all the sudden, poof, the show got better. Some people are probably like, I actually liked episode number one. It's episode number eighty, not so great. Exactly.

I thought I would share. And so. What have we even talked about in that episode? Now you have me intrigued. So number 80 not so great. Exactly. I thought I would share. So why don't we even talk about in that episode now? You have me intrigued. The coronavirus, I think we certainly talked about the coronavirus. I asked you how you were doing. You asked me how I was doing.

We shared that about our, you know, going to the grocery store and stuff like that. OK. And then I don't really remember what happened after that. What was the name of the first episode? I don't know. I don't know either. And you know what?

I never named them anything, you know, appropriate anyway, so you wouldn't know hold on one second. I'll go back in the look Too funny hold on one second. I do remember I think it's like episode three is still pretty funny to this day I can't remember what I'm doing. Is that it? Yeah, I'm a ding dong Okay, hold on one second. Oh lions lions and tigers and affairs, oh my. We talked about lion king. That's what we talked about. The lion king. Lion.

Not lion king, the lion guard. What is that fucking show? Oh, tiger, tiger king. Tiger king. Tiger king. Yeah. How was we talked about the Arctic Arctic? We talked about, oh.

Oh, my diamond, my diamond, my diamond, my diamond. My diamond, my diamond. Tiger king, that was just fresh, freshly out. That was freshly out. Oh I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I by the way. So we talked about the cut tiger king, and I think we might have gotten a few laughs out of the back of the episode, but it was really bad. Yeah. And so thank you for sticking with us. And if you haven't heard that episode, don't bother. It's really, don't bother. Go listen to Shamil Ahmed Dengong.

There there are some laughs, I think. That's maybe when we start to kind of formulate the thought about what the show might be. And then I would say somewhere around Christmas time, like COVID, Christmas castle, is when things just get absurd and funny, right? Okay, so now you've stuck with us, you've built this podcast just as much as we have, probably more. You're actually responsible for all the success we've had.

Then we've injected, started, we tried to go to Patreon. You didn't follow us. So we left Patreon. Actually, there might be still one first thing for Patreon over there. It's dating my brother. He's like, uh, poor kids. All I want to do is podcast. All I want to do is make somebody. Oh my god. So we go to Patreon.

We come back because clearly that's not working. You guys are, we're not ready yet, right? There's the audience as to us. We thought with 600 people downloading every single week. Yeah, there is going to be 400 of them. We're going to run over and pay. Okay, yeah. Four of them went over and paid and two of them,

card got the client. So maybe we'll revisit that someday in the future, but then we decide, okay. Then we did the break room. We did the break room, which was another failed, fantastic idea of mine. Let's do the break room. It's an email club.

And with the break room, you're going to get an email every month. It's shocking secrets. Shocking secret. Shocking secret. That's right. The first one we put was candy that gave you bad diarrhea. I remember having a conference call with you and asked her to end my car for some reason. We were talking about it.

We're talking about it. I'm going to order this candy and ask everybody shit. I'm gonna read the reviews online and then I'm gonna eat the candy and see if it happens to me. That was our content. That was our content. We did really good.

The email newsletter. Then I think I put an old country buffet commercial inside of the newsletter, thinking it was funny. Any who? We stopped that. We stopped that. I know. We got about two of those. We did.

We did. We pivoted to the next stupid thing. So then somewhere in early this year, someone approached us. And as the then the podcast was really starting to kind of grow. And somebody approached us and said, hey, we can sell sponsorships for you. We can put, we can hook you up with sponsorships where you can make some revenue. We'll handle all that stuff.

It's called an ad network. Yeah. Our ad network is advertised cast as of right now when you're listening to this. It's called advertised cast. Great bunch of people over there. Mm-hmm. And they have really treated us right.

And because of that particular transaction, because of that, you know, getting on that network, we now do two episodes a week, and we're going to provide this content for free. All you got to do is listen to some ads. And if you're so inclined, then, you know, use our special URLs and codes whenever you want to enjoy our sponsors, services, or products. That's all we ask. I think it's, you know, I think it's just kind of a small ask, two or three minutes of, of some sponsorships that we do ourselves. I think it's a, you know, I think it's just kind of a small ask, two or three minutes of, of some sponsorships that we do ourselves.

So sometimes they're funny and most of the time they're not, just like the rest of the show. And you know, it's, it's done. Okay, so now we're, now we're getting going. So then over the last couple of months. The wheels are turning on the train. Wheels are turning on the train. The show's gaining steam, you know, every month we're growing and we're growing. And then, so now over the last couple of months, what has happened is all the sudden people have

started getting engaged in the program. They've been like reaching out to us and talking to us about content ideas and giving us reviews and commenting and rating and reviewing and subscribing and all that other stuff. So I thought that at 500,000 downloads now would be a fantastic time to discuss some of the more recent reviews that have come in. Oh, okay, or comments about our podcast. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. Hold on. Page two. Sorry, buddy. Why is that light blinking? It's blinking because you feel like...

I just want to tell you that. Is that light blinking mean that we're talking to nobody? Well, we're probably're talking to nobody? Well, we're probably still talking to nobody, but we are recording Nobody's listening to down at this point Okay, ready here we go. Yes Okay, Kirk says oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just lost my, hold on a second. I'm reading my own hand writing it out.

It's like, why did I say it's a good time to be good? What does that mean? Kirk left us a comment and said, dude's voice made it four minutes in, and that's four minutes of my life that I'll never get back. You suck. Thanks Kirk.

Yeah, incredibly, incredibly insightful criticism. Yeah. Thank you for the advice. We forwarded that on to our HR department. We will get back to you as soon as possible. Hey, and by the way, you have a great, you seem to have a great voice. And you're spelling in all capitals and with, and with letters and numbers. I think you should host the show.

Was that on YouTube? It was on YouTube. Listen, people on YouTube are, I'm sure they're 13-year-old boys. I'm convinced of them, right? The way that they talk and the way that they spell and all this other stuff. Daniel says, about our episode regarding three sums, it's great if everyone has a clear understanding before you all get together. If you can discuss it beforehand in the conversation, that way the three way, it's not like a permanent thing that is eternal. It will obviously be everyone like they say a stupid tattoo because any time

of people they walk away, no guess how everyone can stand to walk away. Okay. Wow. Thanks. stand to walk away. Okay. Wow. Thanks. That was very constructive. I was following it for the first part, but then I lost. I think the point was there was no following that comment. He listened and you know what? He made he may not this may not be his his first language. I can tell too if he was talking about us trying to have a conversation about what we're going to do before the show. Here's how I felt. I felt like before you have a threesome. Crack is whack. Luke says about my about my threesome. You may need higher t levels. Get your testosterone checked.

You may need higher T levels. Get your testosterone checked. Ah. Ah. True. Ah. Here's one. It says you guys should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.

Ah. That comment came from Adolf Hitler. What? Ah. Adolf Hitler is the name, the YouTube name is Adolf Hitler. Okay, well, I think he might need to be a little himself but Jenny says of Brian Who would want to sleep with you your voice is like walking on glass and your face is disgusting Die from the internet

Okay, Jenny I can agree with that. My wife probably agrees with the other half. Tommy says, oh no, I'm sorry, Tennie, who I think is a female. It sounds like a female name. It's got a picture of a female. It says, this podcast should be banned from the entire internet. Stupid people. We know the feeling. Yeah. By the way, Adolf Hitler, we are ashamed of ourselves constantly. It's just the state of being for us. Okay, now here's one. I thought I and I thought I wouldn't make the whole thing a shit show. I thought I would have one positive one. Yeah,

we got one. Okay, we got one. Okay, we got one. I always look forward to your podcasts. And Frankie B has to be one of my favorites. I'm a machine operator and you guys make me laugh so loud during the work day. I might look a little crazy, laughing at the unknown to my cone workers,

but it's well worth it. Thank you for the amazing entertainment. Keep doing what you're doing. Okay. You guys are the best. Best to you both. Best to you both. Best to you both.

I love it. Look at that, not everybody's a hate. Hopefully he's still able to operate just machinery even if he's laughing. Yeah, keep your eyes on the machinery. That's a she by the way. That's Tammy. Okay.

Is it Tammy? What was her name? Hold on a minute. Oh, I forgot her name. Anyway, it was a she, and we thank you so much. Yeah. Listen, even those of you who hate us, we thank you so much,

because at least you're interacting with the show, and it's all in good fun. Yeah. So there's a lot more, like, you know, listen, for every five great comments, there's one shit comment. And I tend to focus on the shit comment, because I think that's human nature.

I think everybody does, yeah. But I don't take any of it too seriously, because listen, we, from the beginning, we have said that there is no sacred cow here on the commercial break. We make fun of everybody with equal measure. We make fun with people, but we also make fun of ourselves too. We don't care what you do.

We don't care who you love. We don't care which sex doll you want to blow. We don't care who you want to dress up as. We don't care, you do. We don't care who you love. We don't care which sex doll you want to blow. We don't care Yeah, who you want to dress up as we don't care, you know, how many ponies you want to fuck? I mean, we just don't care. It's not in our yeah, it's not in our interest to care about what you do Because as long as you're a good person, that's all that really matters at the end of the day However, life is better with a little laughing and so we're just here giving you a little laughter. And now 350 almost thousand of you have listened to this show. I'm sure some of you have dropped off, but and now we're getting close to 550,000 downloads of listens. And we have to say a big old best to you and happy new.

Yes. This has really been an incredible experience actually. Absolutely. And we hope it just keeps on going. And don't worry. As we move into the... As we wrap up this... As we wrap up this... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... As we wrap up this particular state of the break, I say this to you, my fellow patrons. Not patrons because you didn't decide to come back. But my fellow patrons of the commercial break, I say thank you. And I say, fear not and move forward with your listening and your downloading. Every week, Tuesdays and Fridays. Email in. Make sure to contact us info at tcbpodcast.com.

Pick up those phones because no one will pick them up for you. Style with those fingers, 470-5848-449. Text message away, be careful of the standard text messaging rates. Do not fear leaving a voicemail. And for God's sakes, follow us on Instagram. Ha ha ha, yes. In in addition to that we must say best to you for you against all odds I've continued to listen to this stupid fucking program without fear of repercussion Without fear of machinery running over your hand while you're laughing And yes, Hitler, we are ashamed of ourselves

You two can go fuck yourself, schnitzel-dissel, 22 You two have an obnoxious voice, Dildo Kenny number 33 But guess what? We shall keep on doing the show. Yes. Oh All right, that's all we can give you for today WWE WWE on TCP podcast comms where you go you can't find out more about christianite Read all the show notes watch all the video listen to all the audio you can drop us a line info at tcb podcast Dotcom and please do we might just send you

You can drop us a line info at tcbpodcast.com and please do we might just send you our flag. Free swag, free swag, commercial break swag being produced right here somewhere. And if you'd like to get a hold of us via text message or voicemail 4705848449 we'd love to hear from you. Standard text messaging rates do apply for those of you out of the country. Remember only a couple more days. You only have until July 7th, I think it is. July 7th, to get your comment in, to win the best comment, contest and get $500 and gold dot gift cards of your choice. Go to the commercial break, follow us. Leave your favorite line from your favorite episode, tag a friend, you're entered into win,

we'll respond to you. And when we do, that knows you, that's the way you know you're entered. If you wanna do that on YouTube, if you'd rather watch us, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Comments on your favorite episode. Thank you for all the people that have been subscribing to the YouTube page.

We've got quite a few. We've gotten like, I don't know know like 172 new subscribers and like a week which may not sound like a lot but we had 172 subscribers in a year. Yeah. At one point. So something's happening. Something's happening. Something's happening. Don't know. Thank you. Maybe it's the local authorities. Like keep an eye on these people. Everybody quick. Follow these guys. They're up to no good. Yes. All right. Well, listen. I don't know what what else That's it. I love you. I love you. Congratulations. Thank you. I'll be successful. Well earned. Yes

Yes, here as well without you and without me and without you out there in the listening audience It wouldn't be possible and so so I say, best of you! Best of you! And best of you, until next time, when the great commercial break returns, we must bid you a do and say farewell. Bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com.

Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtler, with additional content provided by Tina Kano. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one.

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one.

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. you