The Commercial Break - The Statue Of David Is Just Average

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Micro-penis is a real medical term for..well...you get it! Bryan and Krissy dig a bit deeper on the topic, reviewing a video from ITV on the subject. It's not the size that matters, it's the extension.... Subtitles are being debated online,,,for no good reason Krissy's family has a brogue The meta-verse can get you pregnant Bryan's tries and fails again to join the meta-party Micro-penis is a real condition and ITV has the all the details in 2d cardboard paper! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If it doesn't fit, you must quit. On this episode of the Commercial Break, I feel like cancel culture is coming from the subtitles. Like it's ruining the TV watching experience. Who fucking cares? I know. We like to watch them watch them. We don't turn it off.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Don't turn it off. That's right. And if you're in a house with some time burn it down The only way to get rid of your neighbor's house some title people is we just start Burning him at the stage some title fuckers And I thought we could like broadcast the commercial Right, yeah, no and as people were coming out of the party they'd be like oh cool. Let's go listen to what the commercial break had to say But my avatar must have had some kind of sign on it. They said like you know and as people were coming out of the party they'd be like, oh cool, let's go listen to what the commercial break has to say.
Starting point is 00:00:45 But my avatar must have had some kind of sign on it. They said, you know, desktop. All art, all art, all art. Desktop, molester. Yeah, that penis may look small, but that penis is 17 and a half inches long when you get up close. Yeah. But compared to the size of a funny, it looks, you know, I wouldn't go bragging about it if I was David.
Starting point is 00:01:09 If I was David, I might put a loin on or something. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Commercial Break. It's not for everyone, but Fag News or Fiction is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less, or your money bag go to the brand new TCBPodcast.com to collect your winnings. Kristen Joy Houdley. Yes, do you or do you not watch television with subtitles on? Not unless they're needed. I watch with subtitles always. Not unless they're needed. I watch with subtitles always.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Really? Yes, I think it is. It's something to do with the children. Like sometimes I watch TV at night, and I wanna watch the subtitles because I can't turn it on that loud. Yeah. You can also put your AirPods in.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Yeah, no, go to Smartass. That's what I do. Thanks, Chrissy. Do I wear smart pad? Do I wear AirPods? Yes, I do. Is Chrissy an asshole? Thanks, Chrissy. Do I wear smart pad? Do I wear hip-hats? Yes, I do. Is Chrissy an asshole? Yes, she is.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Yes. Is Chrissy smarter than Brian? Yes. Probably. This is a big debate going on right now. OK. Amongst people in my mind about whether or not. There's a slightly more than.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Subtitles, yes, or subtitles, no. Mm-hmm. And some people are saying that subtitles are ruining the TV watching experience. Well, that's, I mean, it's hard to pay attention to what's actually going on on the screen when you have to read it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:57 So there's certain English. It's like if it's in a Scottish brogue or English, then I need to put this. A Scottish bro. What is a bro? It's a talk. Is that the talk of the Scots? It is.
Starting point is 00:03:11 It's a bro. How do you do a Honey Talk Scottish? I don't know. I'm going to try it. Hey, make it a cookie. Do an ancestry.com. I figured out on like 50% five. She found out that she, her ancestors,
Starting point is 00:03:22 you have a bro. That's right. What's a bro? Kind of kill. I think you're right. What's a brogue? Kind of killed. Ugh. I think, I think you're right. I think this comes from two things.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Me watching the subtitles. Comes from, comes from three things. Number one, the children. Number three things. Three things. Three things with two fingers up. Three things first. Number one, the children.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Number two is that I watch a lot of television shows, British comedies. And so I don't always 100% of the time understand what they're saying. So I like to watch what the subtitles. Number three is I watch in the studio a lot. And so sometimes I'm actually editing, so I have to keep the subtitles on so that if I'm, you know, that's what the show sounds so good. It doesn't make attention to the English subtitles.
Starting point is 00:04:03 That's right. I think it definitely ruins the watching experience because my eye just goes straight to the words. Of course. I have to read the words. But now I find it to be something that I just I do almost all the time like I always want to watch the subtitles. And here's what happens. It's around as I like to say. You know, on the Netflix subtitles are cool because you know the words pop up right away, but if you're watching live television Oh, and the mistakes that happen and the stakes have been are way too funny number one But number two, they're like five sentences behind yes, they are and they often put the subtitles right on the face of the person That's on the TV's So I get why people are upset about the subtitles, but then
Starting point is 00:04:44 Well, they don't want other people having fun either. They don't like other people watching with subtitles either. I don't know. I don't know. It's welcome to 2002 in the United States of America. You can't do it if I don't like you to do this, right? It's not allowed if I don't like it to be allowed. That's the way that it is.
Starting point is 00:05:01 It's the fucking cancel culture. It's like everyone gets so upset about everything. I know. Every little fucking thing everybody gets so upset about. And I don't really understand it. And I have a fear that those who push for cancel culture so much need to be careful because cancel culture will always come for you. It always will. We're evolving as human beings and people do make mistakes, honest mistakes. Now if you're just an asshole all the time, then I can understand why, why maybe some people
Starting point is 00:05:25 would call for, you know, hey, I don't want. You're removal. Yeah, you're removal of whatever. Like, if you're running around touching the interns, maybe you shouldn't be the CEO of a company, right? Absolutely not. There you go. Cancel culture, cancel that guy from the culture.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Yes, you should. But if you know, you say something that's out of turn and you just make a mistake or you don't really know, I don't think that means you can never talk to again in life by any other decent human being. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Right. But this, I feel like cancel culture is coming from the subtitles. Like it's ruining the TV watching experience. Okay. Who fucking cares? I know. Who can't care?
Starting point is 00:06:00 You like to watch them watch them. God bless you. Turn it off. Don't, turn it off. That's right. And if you're in a house with sub-tie burn it down The only way to get rid of those Subtitle people is we just start burning them at the stake sub-title fuckers sub-titles How dare you with the sub-titles They go right on to person's face.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I just don't get it. I don't get why people are so angry about subtitles. No, there's no need to be. No, it says if you can be very angry about some things like climate change, we were just discussing. Climate change is something to be angry about. You know, yeah, and if somebody's committed crimes, you know, get angry at that.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Yeah, but it's not's being a per east of the thing that you should be getting. It's fucking. Remember, rev, remember my slogan, rev down, rev down, when you can go all the way up, you go all the way down. Rev yourself on down. Yeah, that's what I like the commercial break, you know, aim high, get low. Hey, my answer in you, except low is the best you're gonna get. It's better than most.
Starting point is 00:07:08 But not as good as the best. That's right, that's the commercial break. I've read the most. I wanna tell you something. And I want you to listen closely. I am right. I'm right. I'm right about one thing.
Starting point is 00:07:23 I've been right about one thing this entire commercial break and I'm about to share with right about one thing. I've been right about one thing this entire commercial break and about to share with you what that is. Okay. And I want to mark this day in history. Okay. Episode three, two hundred and whatever it is. I want you to mark it in your calendar.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Taking Fistidious notes. I've taken Fistidious notes. Well, I feel like, you know, most of the time I just make shit up here on the commercial break. I don't really do any research. And so I just comes out of my mouth, however, comes out of my mouth. But this particular time, I literally predicted the future
Starting point is 00:07:47 and it came much quicker than I had expected. Okay. You can get someone metapregnant. Oh. You can get someone metapregnant. And there are metaprotunity rights that are going on right now as we speak. I'm just like, I'm a wicked work.
Starting point is 00:08:01 What? You spread your little metapenis and then you put it in a metapagina and you have little metababies. I don't know. Oh, that's not a thing. I'm not kidding. I can work. You spread your little metapenus, and then you put it in a meta vagina, and you have little meta babies. I don't know. That's not a thing. I'm not kidding. I'm absolutely.
Starting point is 00:08:09 You have metasax, and someone can get metapregnant, and then now they're fighting over metapregnancy rights. It's an absolute thing. That's another reason I'm not getting into the meta first. I just feel so, I'm so stressed for my children. I mean, not only do you have your regular life to live. Yes. I just feel so I'm so stressed for my children.
Starting point is 00:08:25 I mean, not only do you have your regular life to live. Yes. Reality, but then you have the reversal of reality too. You're going to have to wrap that little metacock in little, you know, ones and zeros because you could get someone accidentally met a pregnant and you could be responsible for that metachild for the rest of their lives.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Yeah, much of those costs. A million. A lot. Yeah, millions in, in Metacoin. Bold coin. Be bold. That's the question. It's like, if you get someone met a pregnant and there are literally paternity rights,
Starting point is 00:08:58 first of all, who controls the baby? Like, you know, right now there has to be an actual person controlling the avatar. But if you have a baby, does it come out like having its own personality? I would say the woman would control the baby and create a new profile under her character. Oh, she creates a new profile?
Starting point is 00:09:13 I got gas. Like Netflix where you have your original account holder. Sharing with your account, yeah. You can create other profile. You have little four little bed of babies running around. Do you think they just grow up? You're the daddy. Yeah, I wonder if you should change a meta-d? You're the daddy. Oh, you're the daddy.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Yeah, I wonder if you change meta-dipers and all that shit. I'm so fascinated by this. And if someone knows anything about this, I would love to talk to them on air about this. Because I wanna know, do you have to meta-feed it? You have to. I'm gonna think so.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I mean, if you're going in, if you're having the baby. Doesn't have a meta-shit. I mean, yeah. You're gonna have a meta-dioria. Everything. It's crazy. It's crazy. The reason this whole thing got brought up
Starting point is 00:09:46 is because someone was talking on a video that I saw that there are currently meta-protests over meta-abortion. Meta-abortion. We can't even get it right in the real world. And now we're arguing over whether or not you can get a meta-abortion. It's fucking crazy. Oh my God, too much. It's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy
Starting point is 00:10:06 But there are people being meta assaulted. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on in that metaverse We don't know about yes, I wasn't even allowed across the bridge You were not real metavers. I had to stay in the beginners area They're like old white man with a desktop. No, he's sure to molest somebody They're like old white man with a desktop. No, he's sure to molest somebody. That's getting my- Leave me alone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I love that you were the woman asked for where's the party. Ha ha ha ha ha two, six, six, speech ball of art, go there, sweet bro, thanks. It's just where the party is. Grandma, are you having a party? If you have to ask, I know, I get it. It was kind of a weird question, but I wanted to know. You were trying things out.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I was just, I thought people were gonna be more friendly in the metaverse. I thought it was gonna be an all open, but I'm figuring like a little avatar moving away from you. I met like a running. I met like a centaur with long hair. He was like leave me alone. Gallup Gallup Gallup. He galloped to the party. I tried to follow him like and keep on Because My avatar was white guy with sandals and shorts and I was like hey on a desktop. I can't run that fast and flip flops on my desktop I gotta go one seven one seven one seven
Starting point is 00:11:41 But those are you that don't know I visited Metaverse one time and I made an avatar that looked remarkably like myself. And I went into the Metaverse and there was literally no one around. And so I was going through, like looking through all these lands trying to find somebody and I found a couple people hanging out at a fountain. It was like a, you know, like a welcome, like welcome to the Metaverse. Welcome. Welcome.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Yeah. It was the island and I was surrounded by water and I couldn't go anywhere except for the water. They put you on an island. There was a boat but I couldn't figure out how to get on it. And so I went to the fountain. There were other people hanging around. You know there was a couple in a couple of groups hanging around and then there was one like Cintar avatar He was just had like long flowing air If you walk up to him and you bump him and then there's a little chat box it opens up and I was like, hey, man
Starting point is 00:12:34 Do you know where I can get out of good party or something? He or she or they or them were like leave me alone It's so classic. I know we were talking one night. I mean because we basically talks text all day every day. Yeah, it's playing So you said the conversation never stopped you said you had big plans for us that you had created it looked like you'd maybe created me an avatar I don't know. It's possible that I tried to get away with you Maybe they'll take to this hot chick better. I can convince him that I'll be cool. I wanted to start like a whole TCB stand. Don't be impersonating me in the metaphor. I was thinking about just
Starting point is 00:13:20 finding you. I was going to find someone to get you met a pregnant. We have a little TCV baby. I was gonna buy a little piece of land near the party, like Snoop's house. And I was gonna put us in there and I thought we could broadcast the commercial broadcast. Right, yeah, no. And as people were coming out of the party, they'd be like, oh cool, let's go listen to what the commercial break has to say But my avatar must have had some kind of sign on it that said like you know desktop alert alert desktop mollester
Starting point is 00:13:59 I walked in and I was like I don't want to molest any children. Where's the party? They were like nope. See you later Here's day on the staying on the side. You're on the island, yeah. The boat doesn't come for you, bro. And it was a stage and it looked so cool. And I thought, oh, this is great. There's going to be a performance or a concert or something. And I must have stood there for 15, 20 minutes. And you know, they have music playing.
Starting point is 00:14:19 No, I do. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, like, Bon Jovi's, it's my life. It's now, oh, yeah. Yeah, and then all of a sudden like Bon Jovi's Came on and I just didn't know what to do I bet that is too bad. I bet there were a bunch of people who were observing me that we're just having a great time watching You were the you were the performance. I know I know I might as well have put socks on with my sandals Well, it's a round like my dad
Starting point is 00:14:43 I might as well have put socks on with my sandals. Well, it's a round like my dad. Yes. Oh, but these, these metaverts getting crazy. So now you can get meta pregnant. People are getting meta assaulted. They're going to meta parties. They're getting high. Someone claimed that they were drugged in the metaverse.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I don't even know how that fucking happens. Like if you get drugged in the metaverse, is your avatar fall asleep? Right, what happens? I don't know, but I saw happens. Like if you get drugged in the metaverse, is your avatar fall asleep? Right, what happens? I don't know, but I saw a video of it and these guys, I need to investigate this further. These guys were putting drugs,
Starting point is 00:15:12 like they were putting something into this. They were like roofing? Yeah, they were like putting something into the drinks of this girl who claimed that she was assaulted after she was drugged. But I just don't understand exactly how that works. Like, I mean, you're on a computer, just turn it off. It's just unplug.
Starting point is 00:15:27 If things get too bad, rowdy, just go back to the island. Go back to the... Yeah, you go back to the fountain. Maybe. Go back to the fountain where you find Brian. Sitting there 30 years ago. That could be your new role. You could just be welcoming all these, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:43 stray people. Hi, they've been alone. That could be your new role. You could just be welcoming all these you know stray people that They belong Would you like to party? Yeah, the desktop molesters at the fountain again Hi, how old are you? Oh? My god Yeah, you do need to. And now, But I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Well, So I need to just to know what's happening. There's gotta be metaverse sex then, right? There's gotta be. I mean, just like, you know, rom dozzars. Or do you back show prep? Is metaverse like you didn't do?
Starting point is 00:16:20 I'm sure that they do. I'm sure, you know, or they're thinking about it. They're gonna be in there soon. Yeah. You know, Eckhart Toli somewhere out there you know, or they're thinking about it. They're gonna be in there soon. Yeah. At Gartolay somewhere out there. Yeah. Or someone's repeating his verses or something.
Starting point is 00:16:29 The metaverse is apparently very large already. And there's, you know, a couple of millions of people that are on the metaverse. You know, that damn Sims has been around forever. Simulated life. Yeah, yeah, this is the second life. Second life, yeah. It's been around forever and people are still going
Starting point is 00:16:41 to the second life. But what about if you're just trying to do your first life? I'm just trying to get, let's try to get off what about if you're just trying to do your first life? I'm just trying to get, let's try to get off the island. I just try to lift my first life. Yeah, I just want to get past the fountain. How do I do that? I guess you can kind of redo in the metaphor that.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Yeah, okay, so there's got to be metasax, right? And then you wonder like the functionality of that. Do you get to pick your own appendages? You know what I'm saying? I would think so. You can be whatever you want in the metaphor. That's the person you saw was a centaur. I saw a centaur.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Yeah, the horsecock. He's a rhodogrow. You can do whatever you want. And that made me think about picking your own size, like your own penis size. Of course I am thinking about picking your own. Of course. Because I'm a 45 year old white male, right?
Starting point is 00:17:18 Yes. Go straight to there. But then it reminded me of a couple episodes ago when we were talking about micro-penis. Remember I had gone back, I landed in Dallas and the two people in front of me. We're having a very strange conversation about micro-penis. By the way, they were not together.
Starting point is 00:17:34 It's not like they were a couple. They were just two strangers talking about micro-penis. Go figure. I mean, yeah. And I thought to myself, I have the like utmost empathy, what that must be like to grow. And I thought to myself, I have the like utmost empathy, what that must be like to grow. I mean, there's already, at least at when I was a child,
Starting point is 00:17:50 when I was a teenager, there was already a ton of self-consciousness about your penis. Just like I'm sure there is for women about their breasts or whatever part of your body, your uncomfortable, with your hair, your nose, your eyes, everyone's got something. And I really felt very empathetic toward people who have this condition called micro-penis,
Starting point is 00:18:09 which is apparently a penis smaller than an inch. I think it sounds. I think it's pressing. Yeah, micro. It gets sound. Yeah, I don't have to do too much explaining. I'm not micro-penis. It's not like I just said it's that the lightest penis.
Starting point is 00:18:26 It's stuff a lot of good. Yeah. I really like it sounds. So I needed to do a little more investigation on micro penis and who these men are and what they're up to, right? And how they've dealt with this all their life. To let you know, there are some men that are not at all upset about having micro penis.
Starting point is 00:18:44 They're proud of it. They say, listen, it's different. It's different. That is, did you say you had a friend that you had a friend that got with a guy that had micro-penis? Yes, yes. And I said, did she like it? And you said she tried it. Okay, fair enough. But there are, there's one particular gentleman that's out there that is writing and talking about his micro-piness, his condition and sharing that it's not exactly what people think it is. Number one, and number two, he's loud and proud, micro-piness.
Starting point is 00:19:14 He wants everyone to know it. So I was trolling on the internet. As easy as I like to do. And I found that our good friends at ITV have had this man on. Of course they have. Of course they have. How do they do this? We need ITV. I mean, we need to have the most.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Wild and crazy interviews. Yeah, and just in the morning. And act like it's an actual normal. Yeah, that's the thing about ITV. So ITV isn't like that. Yeah, because it's not like a Jerry Springer or a craziness like that It is like too hard hitting
Starting point is 00:19:47 Yeah, the only difference between this and a TV room and a newsroom talking to people who have sex with it's like your local news But they just seriously they just they give it all their people with aliens part of the reason, you know, the British accent gives... Oh. Oh. Pro. This is sun from... Pro. I like you. I like you. By the way, I think that was from our TV. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:14 You're gonna get that guy in the Metaverse. Oh my God. So running around. He's already in his own Metaverse. He's running around from the fountain to the beach. Looking for a way off the island. Our good friends at ITV do a British morning television show and there's something about the British accent that lends credibility to almost anything. And so what they do is they bring on a bunch of loony tunes and they take them
Starting point is 00:20:40 absolutely seriously and they get the best interviews out of it. And I mean, listen, not everyone's a looney-tune. I don't think this guy is, but there's a gentleman who's written a book about micro-penis and his experience with it. And he just wanted to share with everybody. This is not as bad as you think, right? I like it. He also wanted to let the ladies know that his penis is not the only thing he's
Starting point is 00:20:58 working with. You know what I'm saying? Hey, cats and kittens. Welcome to the commercial break inside the commercial break. You are the best welcome to the commercial break, inside the commercial break. You are the best part of the commercial break, and Chrissy and I want to include you even more. So do us a favor, hit us up with your comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas. At one of two places, either 6-6-1-237-8296, you can text us or leave us a voicemail there,
Starting point is 00:21:22 or you can send us an email through the website. Just go to tcbpodcast.com and hit the contact us. But while you're there, you can listen to all the audio or watch all the video right from one location tcbpodcast.com. Ehh, commercials. Am I right? But for a lot of us independent creators, it pays the bills and it keeps the content coming, free and frequently to you. So do us a favor. Take a listen to our sponsors. And if you're ever in the market for their products or services, you could use the URLs or the specialized codes we drop inside of those ads. That lets the sponsors that financially support us know that we're doing our job.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Therefore and to for you are financially supporting us. But you don't have to spend money to love on us, you can always leave us a review, a rating, or a comment on your favorite podcast player. Take two minutes, if you send us a screenshot, I'll send you some shwag, and you'll forever be known in our hearts, as the human who said they love the commercial break out loud to other people. At the commercial break on Instagram or TikTok and youtube.com, slash the commercial break. The videos are edited with a lot of love, care, and extra comedy. So after you listen to it here, go watch it on YouTube and get an extra laugh. You can put me your stash. We're going to hear about those sponsors now and then we'll be back
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Starting point is 00:24:23 Okay. So, this is not the same hosts. So, this must be, I don't know, maybe they were on the occasion way. These are two different hosts. So this is not the same hosts. So this must be, I don't know, maybe they were on the case here. So different hosts. Oh, wow. But they take this situation just as seriously. Okay. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Why have you drawn attention to all of this instead of shining away from us? So just for those of you that can't see this at home, the name of the presentation, the name that they're putting on the bottom of this, is I have a small penis and a proud of it. So I think, uh, so I think I said, he grows in the dark, really? I think I spent years and years thinking, oh, I am the only one with this problem. And by, can you say it grows in the dark?
Starting point is 00:25:00 Anxiety, it grows. Like, he said, I feel like this person that he's the author of the small penis Bible and Smith his name is and I already like being quiet wasn't letting anybody else with the same problem realized that we're never really alone, you know, whatever your issue is, there are 7 million others, there'll be somebody else out there who understands our identifies and can help. How many people, how many people do you think?
Starting point is 00:25:40 How many people do you think? How small of you? Have you included me in that? I've been. He's very interested. This is another stupid question. Is small. What depends on how you define it. If you say that small and he's less than average,
Starting point is 00:25:54 then that's half of the old men. What do you mean two? Well, that's an interesting way to do your math problem. How, I think micro-penis is technically defined as shorter than one inch while classic. It is a very specific thing. Yeah, but he's right. If average, then half are less than are small. Okay, that's that's addressed this straight away. We have got mocked up in studio. He's mocked it out. It's a dress that's right. It's too cocky. Look at her, she's like, okay, there we go.
Starting point is 00:26:27 She's like, all right, Dick, I know you got a small dick dick. Why did I have to fill in today? Look at her, she's mortified. Yeah. She's like, this is gonna go on my highlight reel. I'm never getting a job in American television. Whoosh. And look away now.
Starting point is 00:26:40 But we've got two cardboard cutouts. Let's have a look at those, right? The one on the, oh my god, they've got life size cutouts. For those of you that are don't watching life size cutout of two men, like silhouettes of two men, just kind of standing up straight, holding their arms out, and then they literally have a paper dick, but it's a completely different color, glued to their thick.
Starting point is 00:27:00 And one is, I would say one is fairly large, and one is not fairly large. Yeah. Right of your screen, aren't correct, everyone. We don't need to see it close up. I think we can see it from the... Okay. The cameraman went for something.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Hey, bud. Okay. Once you put a full grown silhouette of a man with a taped on penis, doesn't matter, I'll close you in. Everyone knows. Full distance, yeah. silhouette of a man with a taped on penis. Doesn't matter how close you go. Everyone knows. A little distance, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Represents the average size worldwide in a resting position, shall we say. The one on the left of your screen aren't is something that you would identify with. You would turn this to be a, what is term being a micro penis right? So I wouldn't use that term myself it's a very specific medical term and I'm not a doctor but I do have a small dick. I don't think it's particularly helpful and it's really a
Starting point is 00:27:58 means of labeling people and I don't think we should do that. I think a lot of people will look at that and they will want to know Tiny Tiny penis What else you want to use it? It's a small penis. It's okay, dude Whatever he knows it's okay. He wrote the small penis Bible. I mean if you if micro penis offends you Why did you write the small penis Bible? There are four words there are offending everybody. And how they measure up to that where they stand. Now, you can show us the thing about, the thing about the one on the left of the screen,
Starting point is 00:28:36 which would represent you. Yeah. You can show, you can show us what it is like extended though when this is, this is part of the whole issue that you want. One issue that you want so you please show I think we want you to actually touch the penis if you don't mind Yanking the penis a little bit You know got like a cut out to where the penis is
Starting point is 00:28:59 Yeah, it's a cut out. It's it's like one of those No, you were a kid. Yeah They used to make like a couple of pieces of cardboard paper, when you were a kid, yeah, they used to make a couple of pieces of cardboard paper and you would make a hole in one and then you could slide it. Or like one of those books that you got where you took a little tab and slid it back and forward, Mickey Mouse would go like this on a little train. That's what they got mocked up here. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Absolutely. Absolutely. And this is one of the beauty of the actually actually because this um, a mount of extension is uh, something which could, could you maybe stand on the other side of that tank? Give it a hug. Give it a hug. Give it a hug. Give it a hug. You might stand on the other side. Just give it a little tug tug. Just give it a little tug tug. And just give it a little rubby tuggy over there. That, that, that's not going to close up on that. We might offend everybody having breakfast. Do you mind standing on the other side?
Starting point is 00:29:49 I wanna get a good look at this. Rick, that's like you. Okay. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! He pulled it!
Starting point is 00:29:57 He pulled out the tongue of the penis. Holy crap. He's literally a pop-up book of penis. Holy crap. I think that early I have a pop-up book of penis. Oh, he's the one who said that it extends. If it extends that far, it's bigger than the other one. Yeah. Okay, good for him. Okay, so because we leave that there fully extended, yeah. Then you begin to talk about this whole myth or argument
Starting point is 00:30:24 sizes, everything is size, everything. And you feel you can do a lot when you are a food working capacity. This guy is working overtime to make this interview serious. I mean, it is a serious interview. But he's working overtime to make this sound for him and Dr. Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Good morning TV. You could tell he's just so hot and bothered by this. Yes, because I use more than just that part of my anatomy and my relationship with my beautiful wife. There you go, Ant, all right, buddy. I like it. I'm all talented. He says, listen, I can pull it out. I can pull it out of extra couple of inches
Starting point is 00:31:04 when I need to. Number one, number two, it's not it out. I can pull it out of extra couple of inches. What I need to. Number one, number two, it's not just my dick I'm working with. And he shows everybody that he's putting the effort in. That's right. Never get. He's never lose that girl. He could buy some teeth, but you know, that's besides a point. So they're saying so that the average penis erect is 5.16
Starting point is 00:31:27 Correct, yeah. And yours is fourth, there's only actually, once erect, there's only an inch in it. Yeah. Do you want to show us? Could you go over there and say, we don't need to close up, but if you could get a far away. That's for your pants down.
Starting point is 00:31:41 This poor, poor, poor hosts right here. They have to do their best with the most ridiculous in saying this. Anyway, there is a lot of for you on ITV here. Why do you think a lot of men lie about the size of them? No. No man has ever done that. I never lied about the size of them.
Starting point is 00:32:02 They even say it smaller than it actually. I do. I say listen, it's only eight or nine smaller than it actually. Yeah, I do. I say listen, it's only eight or nine inches. It's not gonna hurt you. Don't worry. Five or six inches is the average size flaccid, which yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:17 No, I thought she's a wrecked. Oh, he wrecked? That's what she said, a wrecked. The average is five or six, he wrecked? That's what she said. Let me go back here. That's make myself feel good today. Out of me and my relationship with my beautiful wife.
Starting point is 00:32:32 So the saying, so the average penis erect is 5.1 for six. Correct. Holy shit, guys. Things have changed. That is awesome. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go I wish my dick was... Well, ding dong! It's a cardboard, I can pull it. It's just that. And yours is fourth. Ding dong, the dick is dead! Ding dong, smodic is dead, smodic is dead.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Yeah, it's the holy perspective. Yeah, just like the commercial break. There's only actually, once a wrecked, there's only an inch in it. Yeah. Why do you think a lot of men lie about the size of their manhood? Therefore it causes this insecurity. I think I think men certainly will I capture it just thanks to that. That's a lie. That's what I like. Everyone knows you measure your being. Just the fact he had to think about that tells me
Starting point is 00:33:43 all I need to know is like Every guy has to have his eyes about their digs. And they know it. Yeah, and it's usually not with the women. It's with the other. Exactly. Yeah, because we're all afraid we're going to be found out by the women. Yeah, I mean, if you're straight, you know, if you're straight and you're like lying to women and then you sleep with them, they're going to, they're going to pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Yeah, they're going to know. But it's the other guys that you're lying about. Right. Maybe not answer such questions directly. But when I was growing up, it's definitely, the received wisdom was that average was like between six and seven. And therefore, when you get an anxiety,
Starting point is 00:34:18 you stick to that seven number in your mind. And you actually put it in what sticks in my mind. You know what sticks in my mind? Yeah, it's how you use it. And the seven of you never stuck in your mind and you you you got to do what sticks in my wife. You know it's fixing my. I use it. I'm seven. You never stuck in my mind. I have always just try to avoid the question. I have never once measured my penis. Are you having no never once never not once. I'm trusting. I'm afraid that I'm afraid of what I'm gonna find out. I'm just decided to stay away from the question. I measured it in my head. In my head I'm a foot and a half long.
Starting point is 00:34:51 It's mind. She was on holiday in Rome. She had just... I don't know what happened. Yeah, she talked about his wife. Holiday in Rome. My wife was at Holiday in Rome, and she got together with a pool boy.
Starting point is 00:35:04 And he was 13 with a pool boy. And he was 13 and a half inches. In your mind, and you actually, you know what sticks in my wife's mind. She was, he is talking about, it's white. What is it? Vacation and row.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Yeah, where could the story be going? Oh my God, I could only remember. Holiday in Rome. And she, she, yes, she came across a statue. Several statues. Several statues, I could only imagine. Followed by Enrollment. And she came across a statue. Several statues. Several statues of Enrollment. Yes, and why is Enrollment a big? What happened to you?
Starting point is 00:35:35 The ancient Roman god. Well, I know where he's going with this, is that all those statues, which I've seen, if I've been to Rome and seen all those. Yeah, me too. The penises are all very small. There's bend a rod and see, and all that, right? Right. Most times, unless it's called in here all the time. The most famous one, the David statue here. And that's my wife point site. Why are they all, I don't know if we need to do a close-up maybe that's the one we should
Starting point is 00:36:17 be doing to close up on. But let's just guy into having a hard time figuring it out. What's this guy into? I'm having a hard time figuring it out. And my wife points out, as you can see there, David wasn't overly generously and died. So it raises the question, high-typical is David. Sure, I think... Well, first of all, that statue,
Starting point is 00:36:41 I've seen it in person and it's huge. It's huge, me too, I've seen it. I thought it was gonna be small, but no, it's huge. It's huge. It's like eight feet. Yeah, that penis may look small, but that penis is 17 and a half inches long when you get up close. Yeah. But compared to the size of a funny, it looks, you know, I wouldn't go bragging about it
Starting point is 00:37:02 if I was David. But you know, if I was David, I might put a line on or something. You know, now to some of the museums took photographs and did off-organal projections and worked out that actually the majority of the surviving statues are pretty typical of what we find in men today. You did projections? Yeah, I did project. He did astral projections or whatever. He just, he did it or if he says people did it, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:33 I don't know. He wrote the Bible on small purposes. And so this statement that, oh, he's not well endowed. He's actually only something we say because our expectations are skewed That's right. Yeah guys don't feel bad 14 and a half inches and 30 inches around is not normal Yeah, nor do most women probably enjoy that
Starting point is 00:38:05 From everything that we're in his day that was, that was a perfectly normal. In his day, it's perfectly normal. Yes. I can't believe they've got a change. Yeah. It's still, man. Barbrains of guns, bigger, bags of guns stronger, but our pizzas have stayed the same size. Does your wife, Christine, think about you going
Starting point is 00:38:19 and say, pop, because you've been on this morning with Amy and I before, for 80 months ago with two other men to discuss this. Oh, I got to hunt that video down. Yeah. Into raise awareness. To get many said one and two men are going to be things. Give to the them.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Give to the them. You'll find me page to page. One and one. One and two men. I'm going to do like a marathon for raising awareness. One and every two men has David penis. They're just normal. They got to raise awareness.
Starting point is 00:38:54 They don't have a long, long silver. Won't you donate this price of a cup of coffee today? You can make all these these pizzas longer and stronger. By doing a simple process of putting a slit in the stomach, an inserting cardboard paper, you now can pull it out and push it in for the price of a cup of coffee. I got cardboard cocked. Then somebody else. So what does she think about it, though, that you being so public? I think she's always been quite proud of it. I have a sister.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I have a sister. I've come to think of it. I haven't seen her in at least six years. The things I write and publish, because it's always been addressed at trying to make the world a bit better. I'm going to tell you what, you speak quite directly, it wouldn't be for everybody this book. It's a hardly light, bad time reading, it's quite correct. It's not bad time reading. It's exactly bad time reading. You shithead. You've done nothing but be a pain in the ass since this whole thing started.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Chill out, dude. But could I ask you something? Newspapers, magazines, ads on your phone, whatever. All like they're trying to make a lot of man think they can do something about the way they are and died. Is there any value in any of those things? Do any of those things work? What does the Bible say?
Starting point is 00:40:27 What does the small penis Bible say? Like you don't know, dude. Like you don't know. There's only reason why you get all of those ads on your computer, is if you've been searching for those things on your computer. Definitely work. And one is control of wet. As know, as you put wet on,
Starting point is 00:40:47 then more of that gets buried. And then, uh, two seconds buried. Where is it going? Is it like, the more that you eat, the fat goes from your cock into your belly, The fact goes from your cock into your belly, the whole of your family, you make up a bigger something else. That could make up to a couple of satin meas difference. Then there are... Oh, God, if we're talking about satin meas difference. Wow. Well, I guess.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Traction devices which which if used under medical Supervision Traction devices the no the penis stretchers. They like stretcher penis out. Yeah, I've used them I know I know of these I know that they're out there. Okay, you know over a long time Attraction here she don't be pulling anything off you do not you want to do that? Yeah, he looks for medical How to take controls don't be pulling anything unless it's other medical Don't pull anything unless it's under medical supervision Dr. Brown's office, how can I help you?
Starting point is 00:42:07 Yeah, it's Frank Green. I just wanted to get some medical supervision about to lay one down. Kids in the life are going. And I just want to make sure it's okay with Dr. Brown. One minute, Mr. Green, let me patch you through to his nerves. So, he's published the Bible all this. He's Aunt Smith. And he's a very good man for talking about all of this.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Thank you very much indeed. No, thank you for having me. Wow, good for you, aunt. That's really good. And the word out. That's how you're opening, by the way. Good for aunt. Good for aunt.
Starting point is 00:42:43 You can't help but what size penis you're born with? No, you're born that way. It's lady Gaga says. Yes, absolutely. I'm sure there are medical things that you can do about it, including the penis pump. There's medical things you can do about anything. Yeah, and I guess you're that's true. I think it can clean up a Volvo.
Starting point is 00:42:58 They can make your cock on their back guests. But to each his own, and if there are women out there that probably enjoy this That are into this. Well, I mean, it's not all about the penis. It's about it's about how you The mind and the The attraction. Yeah, I haven't made you feel there's many many things that go on Just think about this way. You look like trapped. It doesn't matter what size your dick is true And if you have the money of the commercial break, you'll get any women you want. That's it.
Starting point is 00:43:27 That's right. I'm like a Brad Pitt in my pocketbook. Oh my gosh. Well, we have officially done everything there is to do on the commercial break. This is the last episode. Thank you very much. I really need you to send a good idea. Please. I actually wanted much. I know. You really need you to send a content idea. I know. Please.
Starting point is 00:43:46 I actually wanted to do this one. I thought it was just a get-out. But you're right. We do need content ideas. We've got 412 content ideas. I can't seem to pick one. I know. I was trying to look at new shows too. I'm like, to get-to-yell-see. And that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's so in pickings out there There's actually good content out there. I know everyone's crazy, but you don't want to talk about half the people because you're like I'm gonna get shot
Starting point is 00:44:15 If I say that I'll get shot. Ah, whatever. We'll keep them coming because that's what we do here at tcb All for you. We need to go into the metaverse. You get some ideas out there. I think we need to. You're gonna have, when we get done with this, you're gonna tell me where to go, so I can get the line up. There are centaurs I was talking to. I mean, there's interesting stuff out there, for sure.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yeah, I at least just wanna check it out. All right, so this is what you do. You go to TCBpodcast.com, all the video, all the audio, right there we have two ideas that we wanna pan out here, so we need your help. The world's foremost pet psychic is coming on the commercial break later on in the year and we need a picture of your pet and we need the name. That's all we need.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Send it to 661-237-8296. You can text it to 661-best. The number 2-Y-O-Yo. We also want to play random topic tcb send in a random topic or word to the text message line 6612378296 and coming up real soon chrisian are going to play random topic tcb where we fact news are fiction and 15 seconds or less for your pleasure also at the commercial break on instagram the dot commercial dot break.break on TikTok and YouTube.com. Slash the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Please subscribe to our channel. We certainly would appreciate it. Yeah, listen, I guess that's all I can do today. I think so, Brian. I mean, come on. Micropenas. What else do we need? It's an exhausting topic.
Starting point is 00:45:43 But at least there's someone out there willing to talk about it. Oh, he has the bottle. out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, bye! Bye! and we must say bye!D.O.S.A.D. you

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