The Commercial Break - The Swinging Flamingo

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

On this episode the gang is swinging from rafters...Bryan and Hoadley are talking all things poly, swingers and swapping! Bryan shares his story about visiting a swingers party. They discuss resorts dedicated to swapping, suburban neighborhood wife sharing and much more! Its a NSFW episode of The Commercial Break (which one isn't ??)! LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 [phone] FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT, Crab Apple Zone, public access station. It's Tuesday nights, of course you know what that means, it's time for Crab Apple Idol, where 15 of our finest local musicians are vying for the title of Crab Apple's Crabbius Musician. They'll of course win $250 worth of Tina Tan and Tuy's gift certificates, free squirrel pie every day for a year and a main stage showing on this year's Crab Apple Festival. Now it's time to get to the musicians up tonight as Jim Watkins. Jim is of course known to locals as the guy on the corner who plays with a broken guitar.

Jim has written a very special song for all of us about Earth Day. Let's tune in as Jim takes his shot at Crab Appalito. It was from a band that I was previously in, named Nobody, and they wrote the instrumental part and I wrote the melodies vocally wise and most the lyrics. And I just wanted to get that across and God's for real and please believe in God. He loves y'all and that's it. All the trees that once stood tall They are gone now we've watched them all fall. The skies are red, the seas turn grey. Don't you want to save our planet because it will be good of us? I think we should change.

I think the judges have heard plenty to make a decision tonight, Tom. Remember to text 900SHIT if your vote is for Tom. How apprapo? We'll be back right after this. Commercial break. On this episode of the Commercial Break, he kind of just sliding into a conversation. Not even really, like he just kind of went out and admitted it. I mean, that he wasn't even sliding into a conversation. He was like, you know, me and my wife were swingers and blah, blah, blah, blah.

As if, you know, the weather out here is great this time of year. Right. I get to sleep with a lot of women and I'm married. And I was like oh but you know I didn't really take me by surprise if I'm being oh oh oh oh oh Mrs. Crapit. I didn't really didn't really surprise me if I'm being 100% honest about the situation. It was like you know it took me two seconds. Yeah, that makes sense. Yep. You're someone that's buying escort services

or you're an escort that's selling escort services. Oh, okay. The whole vacation, which you can buy packages for, included sex for the night with one, two, three, five women, right? And until last night, I had never even done any research on this place, because, well, first of all, the internet was, you know, I wasn't really an internet guy back then, wouldn't you?

Dile up. Yes. Oh. Yeah, if your dial up was right, it was DSL. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. I'll do the stupid do that Bap bap bap bap bap bap Bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap I feel like I'm getting ready to get watching 70s porn movie Her name is Crumpet Someone called me over and told me that the plumbing is not working in your apartment

Yes Billy, that's correct My plumbing isn't working. Will you come over here and take a look? Oh, yeah, but I hope it's okay. I forgot my pants. And I have a raging heart on. That's okay, Billy. Just fix my plucking. Okay, Miss Cumpet. Wow, you always walk around with your left to it out oops, what's that sticking out?

Yeah, let me show you my shiny cock Billy you're so naughty. Oh, I'm just here to fix the blooming 17 minutes later. Oh! I think you're popping! Oh, Billy! I'm crying! This is totally happy new year! We like to start off shows with porn reenactments if it's your first time listening.

You'll be treated to that every single episode from now on I'm gonna reenact a different 70s porn movie welcome to the show got a lot to talk about so let's get started Let's do it. I had the most incredibly It's kind of a weird thing that happened to me and I'm not really sure what I want to make of it all What do tell okay, so I've got a friend. I like him very much. He's a good guy. And we consider us, you know, jumps.

We're buddies. We talk all the time. We have fun texting back and forth, but he lives across the country. He's not anywhere close to me. And he admitted to me a couple of weeks back and he admits it to everybody. It's not like a secret, right? That him and his wife are swingers. They're polyamorous.

They do whatever you want to call it. They're out there in the world shaking, they're moving for business. Yeah, they're, he's the plumber. I write. And she's Mrs. Crumpet. Yes. To a lot of billies out there.

I guess, I don't know. I don't know what it goes on. I didn't ask for details. But on. Did he kind ask for details. But on- Did he kind of just slide it into a conversation? And not even really. Like he just kind of went out and admitted it. I mean, it wasn't even sliding into a conversation.

He was like, you know, me and my wife were swingers and blah, blah, blah, blah. As if, you know, the weather out here is great this time of year. Right. I get to sleep with a lot of women and I'm married. And I was like, oh, but you know, I didn't really take me of women and I'm married. And I was like, oh, but you know, it didn't really take me by surprise if I'm being, oh,

oh, oh, Mrs. Krubbitt. Didn't really surprise me if I'm being 100% honest about the situation. It was like, you know, it took me two seconds. Yep, that makes sense. Yep, that makes total sense. I didn't even have to go to my computing machine. It was like one of those things that you, that made sense. Fit the motif, so to speak. And then on Sunday, I was sitting around having lunch here with my dear family, you know, me and the wife and the two kids. I don't forget what we were talking about. But then I get a text message

and it pops through and says, being, you know, this guy, right? And I'm like, oh, this guy, wonder what he's up to. You know, some day mornings probably saying hello or how you doing or question about this or question about that. And I open it up and it's a picture of him and his wife, nude in a sauna. Oh.

I mean, happy Sunday, Sunday. Happy Sunday. And I was like, oh, oh my gosh, well, clearly this is not meant for me, right? The next message that comes through is, hey, we know, we'll meet you for lunch. So glad we get to meet you in person, right? And I was like, or something along those lines, I forget, I'm saying verbatim. I don't know what the actual text message said. I deleted it. It's just to be nice to the people, right? Yeah, you're like, this is not meant for me. or something along those lines. I'm saying verbatim. I don't know what the actual text message said. I deleted it.

It's just to be nice to the people, right? Yeah, you're like, this is not meant for me. Yeah, it was not meant for me. It's not a picture that was meant for me. I'm not gonna keep it on my phone. And so, of course, so now I'm in this awkward position. Right. Do I tell Astrid or do I not tell Astrid?

What just came through, right? I've been erupted lunch with picking up the phone and looking at a text message and probably have this look on my face. Like, what? Right, because I mean, they're in some state of undress. Now, it's not some graphic photo. It's just like, it's literally them smiling naked, right? And I was like, early Sunday. Yeah, it's early Sunday. You're eating lunch with the kids. You're like, you know, watching Mickey Jr. whatever. Wake up, wake up, wake up to your friends big cock. I'm like, okay, here we go.

And so now I'm in the, so now here comes the, the first marital, like when you're married or in your relationship, you gauge the reaction before you even do certain things, right? You're like, okay, you know, like, do I tell her I went to the tanning bed or should I just let her figure out this raging sunburn? This raging sunburn man I was out in the sun with no. And so, I'm like, oh shit, what I do now, I tell her that I got this picture, do I show her?

And I instantaneously decide that honesty is the best policy. Like I do 99% of the time, right? I'm like, okay, honesty is the best policy. Yes. I need% of the time, right? I'm like, okay, honesty is the best policy. Yes. I need to just show you a show in the test. I would just end up immediately. Like, what? Look at that.

So that's what I did. I'm like, you will not believe this. Look at this. And she's like, oh my God. Really? And she's like, does he think you're that were swingers? And I'm like, no, I never said that. I never said those words.

I never said we weren't swingers. I just never said we weren't. I just felt like not answering the question was not addressing it was the best policy because. Yes. Why would I? He never asked, I'm not gonna tell him. You know, if he asked, I'll say no and that's it.

You know? So I show her the picture, she's like, oh my God. So I go, clearly this was not meant for me and she was like, I don't know about that. I don't know if that was a meant for me. Maybe a little like test to gauge and stress. Yeah, you know how, now listen, I honestly think this was meant for someone else.

I do not think it was meant for me. But you know how when you're, like when you're when you're a little bit younger, I don't know about you, but when I'm a little bit younger and I'm getting into relationships and I really don't know how to handle myself in a relationship with certain situations pop up.

The text message was always a good gauge. You'd send the fake wrong text message to somebody. You'd be like, oh, meet you there at seven, right? Yeah, that's right. When they, like if someone, yeah. You said that another episode. Yes, someone won't go out with you. And you know, just, hey, you're dating someone

and then you text them, hey, you want to meet you up tonight over at the bar at eight and then they're like, I can't, you know, can't. Can't, is that my hair? You're gonna give me an explanation? You just say can't. That leaves all kind of shit filled in my head. So then I'm walking around pacing around with anxiety,

like, why can't she? What does can't mean? How do I respond to this, right? Oh great, have a good time, whatever it is you're doing. Then I sound passive aggressive. So I'm gonna send the passive aggressive fake text message. Right, so now you're going down the whole rabbit hole. Yeah, now you're going down the rabbit hole.

Yes. This is just text. Yes. And so then you, then, I mean, I remember one specific incident where this exact thing happened, right, I got anxious about what can't meant. And so I said, okay, no problem another night. And there was no response for like two hours. So then I wrote the fake text message. I'll meet

you there at seven, right? And then instantaneously she responds. Like, well, I thought we said, you know, I thought I told you I couldn't go out tonight. And I'm like, oh, no, meant for, it was meant for another person. You know my friend, Smooky Smook, you know. Oh, I one time had a fling with, but you know, we're just friends. We're just friends. It's his friends.

So I'm writing this whole paragraph, we're just friends now. She's really attractive, but I'm not attracted to that type of girl. I'm pretty sure she's still interested in me, but you know, but that, that, that, that, that, 16 page long. And then I, you know, you send it.

And then the response was like, okay, cool. Ah! Ah! I wanted you to get mad. But it didn't happen. Nothing happened. Ah! Ah!

So you think this was the text test. This is the text. I, she, my wife thinks this is the text text. I thought that this was just a regular text message that just missed the wrong Brian. Brian or maybe we were texting the day before and he kind of just hit it thinking it was, you know, text message page.

Yeah. Conversely, I used to date a woman who I was 99% sure that half of those, like she, there was a mistext every 15 seconds. And I was like, come on. I know this game too well. I'm a king of mistexting. I didn't play this game. You never once mistexted somebody?

Never once. Well, I mean, an accident. No, I'm talking about an accident. No, I could talk about on accident. On accident. Yes, I have mistexted on accident. But not to play the game. No, I could talk about on accident. Yes, I have missed text. Miss text. Okay. Yeah. But not play the game. No, one, I did it at one time. I did it one time and I didn't get the response that I wanted. So it's just like usually back five. Yeah. And I feel like an asshole. Then I'm

like, Oh my god, I'm so neurotic. Who cares? Because a fuck Brian, you know, like this girl doesn't give a shit about you. Okay, cool. Can't is not a response that someone that's into you gives, right? So just move on. No, exactly. I dated her for five years. Okay. DCBFodcast.com is where you go to read all the show notes, find out more about Chrissy and I.

It's a brand new website. You can find all our entire media library is there, all of our audio, all of our video, everything that you could possibly want at the commercial break related, or you can check us out at the commercial break on Instagram. There's lots of content that we push out through there that we don't push out anywhere

else. You can see clips. We do little funny bits. Astrid's always putting together a funny poster too. And additionally, you can check us out in Clubhouse at TCB Chrissy, KRI SSY at Brian Green, BRY, ANG, R-E-E-N. And we are going to start doing live clubhouse shows here maybe next week, as this is airing the following week.

So if you want to be a part of that live show, you have to be inside a clubhouse. We can get you an invite if you need it, just DM us on our Instagram account. We'll get you an invite. We'll make you a member of the commercial break club, and then you can come on in and have fun with us. Yeah, and I think you should maybe explain Clubhouse a little bit to so people can kind of get an idea because otherwise if you just get on,

you can't not work. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and a lot of, you think a lot of, so Android is coming soon to Clubhouse. So let me explain what Clubhouse is. Clubhouse is an audio, social, media application. It's like a chat room. It's a chat room.

It's exactly what it is, but it's a managed chat room. So instead of 10 people being in the same, like if you call it, you know, you call it hotline, an online, or a phone chat line, it's just like 10 people just talking over each other, right? Someone's talking, it's obnoxious. I was on one or two back in the 90s and I couldn't understand a fucking word anybody was saying. Well, I had somebody ask me that they're like, how do people not talk over each other?

So I was trying to explain it. Imagine like a Zoom call, right, with just audio. All you can see is someone's profile picture and then the moderator can control who comes up to stage and who talks. So there may be multiple people on stage at one time, but it is regarded as not cool to talk over other people.

So the moderator, and there could be multiple moderators, are in control of the room. There's a bunch of people down in the audience, depends on how big the room is. There could be tens of that, you know, up to 10,000 people in a room. There can be as little as three people in a room. Sometimes those are the best rooms, the small ones, right?

And so, when you're in the audience, you raise your hand. It lets the moderator know, it gets a notification on their app, they pull you up to the stage, then you can talk. Then you can talk. Then you can open up your microphone and you can talk. Yeah, otherwise you can just kind of observe and listen to everybody else talk. There's a room for everything. Yeah.

Whiskey lovers, people that like, whatever, sex rooms, I mean, they're all over the place. And that's everything. Yeah, right. When left wing comedy, ours is more comedy focus. Yeah, we have a lot of comedy focus and a lot of podcasting focus of the minutia of podcasting is a place where I've been spending a lot of time with other fellow podcasters that I enjoy spending time. Yeah, brainstorming.

Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. Yeah, brainstorming. and how do we do that? And so I moderate a lot of these rooms that are podcast focused and comedy focused. And so now we started the comedy podcast club,

which is in support of the comedy podcast category, the listeners and the creators of comedy podcasts. And additionally, we have the commercial break room, which is specifically for us to go in and do live events. Those live events more than likely, we're gonna record and then put out as a podcast episode. Yes. And it's a bonus one.

So the whole idea is that Chrissy and I will be on stage as moderators. We may have guests, we may not. And then we hope to interact with people down in the audience. So we'll ask a question or play a game and then we can bring you up and you can talk. And then possibly you'll be on the show. So if you want to get involved in that level, clubhouses are really cool app. And there are so many more idiosyncrasies about the app that I can't get into here.

It's not going to make sense to you. You're going to just have to spend some time in the app. You're going to play around. Yeah, learn it. But this would be a great place to do so. Come to the commercial break. Yeah, it's still in its infancy stage, really. It's only a year and some change old.

And there's only about 18 million people on the app. It's only for iPhone users right now and Invite and invite only and so if you need an invite let us know Yeah, we've got some invites to give out. It's got a billion dollar valuation and so that tells you how people feel about Clubhouse It will be the next big social media app and so if you want to get involved let us know at the commercial break on Instagram And we certainly appreciate all the people who have joined our Instagram lately. It's just humming along. It's like now we get like four or five new people a day.

It's so exciting. We put the call out there and you answered. So I wanted to get back to swing. So this would be a good launching point for us to talk about, to talk about this subject. Okay. What is your opinion on swinging? Well, here's my opinion in general on whatever you want

to do sexually. And that is feel free to do it. You're not hurting anybody. Nothing illegal is going on, you know, underage stuff and whatever, like do your thing. Do your thing. Don't try and force me to do it, but do your thing. I've totally respect it.

Is that something that you and Jeff would be into? No. No, you're not, you're not swingers. No poly, I think polyamory is just like French for my marriage isn't working quite, yeah, yeah, I need something new. I agree with you. But at bitties to their own, I'm not judgmental.

Not at all. And so as I was doing research for the show, I went down this rabbit hole of swinger. Like a... Stop. Research. Clot of quote. Oh, you would not believe.

When I was in my 20s, I knew a guy through my former marriage. And through my ex-wife. And this guy used to tell me, and his dad was a, let's call him a notable human being, a very notable businessman in the business world. And so he, and he was the junior, right?

And he was pretty cool and we were around the same age and we would hang out often and party and all that stuff. He would tell me stories. He had a fiance at the time, and his father had been married for many years. And every year they would go to Costa Rica for twice, for about three weeks to a month out of time. And he used to tell me about this place,

Dr. Knight, right? And I was like, I don't even know what the fuck doc, never looked it up, never was much interested in it, except for the stories that he would tell, which started like this. We would go down there, we would be picked up at the airport by a limo and then we would be shuttled off to a beach location where we would then be accompanied

by one, two, or possibly three women for the entire week, two weeks or three weeks that we were there. Oh wow, okay. They would pay for prostitutes to hang out with them, right? For escorts to hang out with them. And the whole resort is either your someone that's buying escort services or you're an escort that's selling

escort services. The whole vacation, which you can buy packages for, included sex for the night with one, two, three, five women, right? And until last night, I had never even done any research on this place, because, First of all, the internet was, you know, I wasn't really an internet guy back then when we had,

dial up. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's me. Yeah, if you dial up, it's right. It was DSL. I'm on the phone. I'm getting 2K per hour over here.

I've almost seen a dip. It's coming down five more swirls and I'm going to have a nibble. So the guy would tell me this story and I always thought this was amazing. It was amazing that this guy would so openly have a discussion. Now his fiance was one of the women that he had met down there. He fell in love with her. He fell in love with her.

He's supposed to be she fell in love with him. Who fucking knows? Right, I never met the woman. But so that got me thinking, I should go check out this guy's Facebook page and see what he's up to many years ago. I hadn't talked to him since I divorced. Where are they now? He got lost in the divorce, right?

It's just one of those things that happens. Where are they now? He is married to the woman with children. Okay. But on his Facebook profile, you can see that not but three months ago, he was down in Costa Rica at this resort. It's a family tradition. I guess.

Yeah. I mean, when you marry in this court, you get to keep on hanging out with this court. I suppose so. Well, yeah, no, I've heard about these resorts too that are just strictly swing or resort It's you're not even paying you're paying to go to the resort sandals sandals, not sandals, but there are ones Heed in ism is yeah, yeah, I've read about these

Yeah, and and I've heard stories like I mean I listened to the hard Stern Show one time and they sent one of their guys down there Right, and it was just a total fuck fast. I mean yeah Nice until it's encapsulated for the world to listen to forever and ever, even then. Yeah, when your future wife is like, you weren't aware and did what? You got a blowjob from five women and a guy at the pool at Edenism?

For me, it's not my thing. Like I love Astrid very much. I just don't think that I could wrap my head around cheating on her, even if it was blessed. Even if she said, you know what? Go down to Costa Rica. Have yourself a good time. I can do it either.

Enjoy yourself. I feel like, first of all, it's a little creepy, right? Second of all, I'm not sure how I could look a woman in the eye and just have sex with her after I paid her. Or not even pay her, just be like, swingers, I just don't think I could do it. That's not to say that I give a shit whether or not somebody does.

I have friends who are swingers. Yeah, and love them. Love them, love them to death go for it. I'm always ultimately fascinated by their life and how this all works out for me. Yes, that's fascinating. Right, that's fascinating. Does it work out for you as the question?

And I just think also that I don't want it, I wouldn't want that. I would never want to go to bed thinking that Astrid is out sleeping with some other guy. And I'm just here hanging out with the kids. Yeah, no problem, honey. Guess who? Like I'm in the closet.

Cock holding. Oh my God. I went to, did I take the time I went to a swingers party? No. I went to it. No, but that's funny. There was this huge club in Atlanta that was like in the northern suburbs. We don't want to leave known each other. No, this is right before.

I mean, not right before, but probably six years. I was very young. I was 24. What did you do 30 night? Well, went to a school. You know. Went to a school party. There's this huge club in pool hall.

So it had a pool hall. It had a small music venue. And then it had just this club, like a night club. It was more to have it landed. No one gave a shit. No one gave a shit about this place. So they would basically, we would get to fill it with the bands that we liked. And you know, we get a small cut of the door,

and it was a shitty little music venue. You know, no one cared, no one ever came out. I think we had 80 people one time, was like the highlight of the entire, like our booking, we were like, we're music producers. All 80 people are here, we gave 40 of them 40 tickets away. Those are the 40 people they paid.

And you know what the parts that sucked about the 80 people that showed up, it was for a band was like like 33 really in their teens. They were like 16 So the 40 people were like aunts and uncles and other teammates, you know high school kids We had a special permission to let eight on the 18 the bar had to be closed It was like a but we were so proud of ourselves 80 people. We are on our way Sorry that it worked out for it. It's a lot like the podcast 80 people look at that hot damn 80 people So we got friendly with the guys that were running the club next door which then no one gave a shit about that

He's a huge cavernous club with multiple rooms and you club next door, which then no one gave a shit about that. He was a huge cavernous club with multiple rooms and, you know, multiple DJ booths said, no one gave a shit. It was like, you know, maybe 200 people would show up for the night and the smoke machines and the bad neon lighting. It was very dark in there. You know, they had like two or three bars and you know that there was a lot of cocaine running through that place. But we became friends with the guys so we could get free cocaine.

And then so, and so, so one night the one night the guy comes over and we're there. He says, you know, hey man, you gotta come check out what's going on tonight. I think it was like a Thursday night or something, right? I thought, wow, Thursday night, what are you guys doing over there? And he's like, bro, you gotta come check out this party.

He just got a call. He didn't even tell me, right? A walk-in and there is a hostess stand. Would there never been a hostess stand at the club before? You just walk into the club, right? And I'm like, right, a walk-in and there is a host this stand. Mm-hmm. Would there never been a host this stand at the club before? You just walk into the club, right? And I'm like, wow, and there's a beautiful woman that's back there, like scantily clad. And she's like, hi, can I check anything for you?

And I was like, now I'm good. What is a hotel? I was like, can you check my suitcase and my little dog, too? Didn't have any idea what was going about. And this guy just thinks it's funny, right? It's a come on. Come on, right?

You're a small band. I had no idea. So I walk, you walk down this hallway and then it opens up into the big room where there's like a dance, there's a big, you know, dance floor with a DJ booth, and then the bar is in the background, right? This room must be 200 by 200, it's huge.

Yeah. And there's all kind of like couches and weird furniture. Like sweet, some picturing furniture. Oh my God. The things that were going on in this place, my eyes were like synched. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I walk in and there's a couple of women on the dance floor that are, you know, topless and then I see at the bar there's a couple of guys that are making out with one girl.

And then I see that there is a guy going down on a woman in one of the bar chairs. Like he's just like, he's got his head fully engrossed in her thigh. And I was like, what the fuck is going? Whoa, dude, I didn't know. I didn't know that the club was this hot on Thursday nights. I would have been, I'm coming. Right. And these were not, I would say that most of us get the image of swingers, that it's like, grandma and grandpa down in Florida at the nude beach, right? With the wrinkly balls and their, you know,

and their saggy butts, you know, just kind of walking, by the way, I'm getting there too. So I'm not, I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying, right? It is what it is, well I'm getting old and gravity's taking hold. So, but that's kind of the impression that we get is like, swingers are like older creepy people. And no shit, these people are very attractive.

Like a lot of them are very attractive. Like big muscular guys, beautiful women, some of them have, you know, boob jobs, they're taking care of themselves. And I'm like, whatever the guy's name, can't remember his name, wish I could. John, holy shit, what's going on here? It's a swingers party brother. What do you think?

And I'm like, oh my god. He's like, do they pay me like $10,000 to do this? And I'm like, whoa, wow. This is crazy. He's like, yeah, each of these people pay like 250 bucks to get in the door. And I'm like holy shit. And he's like, yeah, but we're not supposed

to let single guys in alone. So you know, you can do your thing. Oh, it's supposed to be couples. Well, I guess in the swingers community that it's okay for a woman to come alone, but it's not okay for a guy to come alone. Got it. Just to kind of keep the creepers and peepers out of it. Yeah, that makes sense. After years of experience, the Swingers know that you don't need the single guys. This is not a, it's not a looky-loo party, right? Right.

But that's exactly what I am. So I go up to the bar. I know the bartender and he's like, what do you think, man? And I'm like, holy shit, bro, this is crazy. And he's like, you think this is crazy. You should check out the back rooms. Oh the back rooms. And I'm like, oh, I think I'm supposed to stay close, right? I'm not supposed to be creeping around. He's like, whatever dude, just go back there. Check out.

There you go. But be careful man, be careful. I'm like, be careful. What's going to happen? I'm going to walk in the room. And I'm just going to get a dick in my mouth. Like, I don't know. You know know be careful

Like flying vagina My god, so you know no, I went back of course This is my this may be my one and only opportunity to ever be at a swingers party because it's not my thing Yeah, and I just happened here. I just, some guy brought me here and I'm like, okay, well, I'm here. Well, I'm in room. Might as well at least look and see what's going on. I go back to the room, it's on the left.

And it's another, let's call it 50 by 50 room, that in the club is kind of treated like a green room or a VIP room, right? And it's got the music pumping through, it's got a small DJ booth. And then there are a bunch of couches and stuff. I turn the corner and it is there are two black lights that are on there's a guy that is playing music and there's a small little tiny little like purple light right it's very dark in there and I can't really see like my eyes are adjusting can't really see what's going on so

I take another step or two forward and there are like five mattresses that are on the floor. And there are multiple people just going at it. I was like, wow. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. But I quickly get caught by someone, right? Like some dude turns around, like, you know, midcoid is,

he's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and this is Culvert. And then he's like, he's like, looking at uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and Mrs. Culvert. And then he's like, he's like, looking at me, staring at me, and then he goes like this. He's like, he's like, come on. He's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, looking at me, staring at me, and then he goes like this. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, whoa, I just got called in. I'm in the big leagues now. I felt like a tag team wrestling. I was like, ooh, get in here. You want some of this? You want some of this? Get in here. And I was like, I didn't know what to do.

So I looked for a half, like a half a minute more. I kind of stood there. Did you contemplate it at all? No, not for one second, not for one fucking second did I. And to be fair, there were like bowls of condoms around the room and there were condom wrappers that were on the floor. So yeah, so people were being saved, right?

That's good. Just because they're swingers doesn't mean they're idiots, right? Or weird or creepy, they're just doing their own thing. Yeah. And so for like half a minute more, I'm like, I'm just kind of looking and he's now turned back around and then he turns around again and he's like he kind of points to me and he's like come

on this way right and then the girl turns around and she's like oh no so they must be communicating now right and music sound loud I'm like there's some creep behind us. You want to freak them out? Wave them in. See what he does. That would be really funny. Beijing Brian Green, Brian Green, to the sex room, please. Brian Green, we need you ready in five minutes to perform. Can you please fluff yourself and meet us back in the sex room? Thank you.

I got called out and then I was out of there. Then I was like, oh my God, then I was out of there. Yeah, and then I walked to the next room. Just, but I didn't, now I'm kind of scared. I'm like a little, yeah. Be careful, that's what they're gonna get. I'm like, yeah, be careful, they're gonna call you in. Yeah.

So I go to the next room and it's a couple, there's a couple of sex swings that are hanging there and there was a couple. And then there was a couple and then there was a lady standing on the side in some state of undress. I don't remember a lot about that second room because I kind of turned in and then turned right back out. It went back to the bar and I was like, holy shit bro.

And he's like, dude. Yeah. He's like, it's hot in here tonight. And I was like, yeah, it is. And he's like, yeah, he goes, he's like, it's hot in the year tonight. And I was like, yeah, it is. He's like, he goes, he goes, are you in any of this? And I'm like, no, not really. Me no, I'm standing right next to some lady who's getting head from them dude,

like kneeling down in the bar chair. Hey man, how are things of the health? Yeah, good, good, I'm great. Pat the guy on the head is like, good job buddy, good job. The girl turns to me and I'm like, hey, my name's Brian. Nice to meet you. Hey, I'm Patty. Nice to meet you.

Do you want to hold one of my boobs for a second? No, no, I got to go. I'm good. Coronavirus. Wow. So then I just left. I left and I went back and I told the partner that I had that I was like, hey man, you know, there's some shit going down in that club.

And he goes, and the guy that I was doing this with was an older gentleman, kind of a creepy guy himself. I'd never known him to have a girlfriend. He always had very long greasy hair and a tie dyed shirt on. And it's kind of known as a, like, he didn't have the best reputation in the group, not because he ever did anything, right? Just because he would always like,

aggo people and he would say, make kind of weird comments and stuff like that. Yeah. So I said, I was like, holy shit, man. Did you see that? Do you know what's going on next door? Oh, yeah. I got invited last week. Oh, and he goes, but I couldn't find anybody come with me.

I didn't even tell him that this guy could give you a tour. I just figured if this guy wanted to give him a tour, he would have given him a tour. I think he felt like I was probably cool enough to stay out of the way. So listen, here's my, here's a bottom line feeling about swinging. I don't mind it. I'm not into it, but I don't mind it.

Exactly. You too. I always hear these stories about these neighborhoods here in Atlanta. The Swinger's neighborhoods. Do you ever hear about these? No. There's a big...

I mean, it's actual neighborhood. Yeah, it's a huge neighborhood that's up north. Everything's going down up north. Everything, I know, all the people that move out to the suburbs, they have their own little cuckolding community, like a cuckolding country club. Welcome to the cuckolding country club. Can I hold your cuck? So, would you like a closet to watch your wife get screwed in? So, can I interest you in a glory hole?

No, thanks, I'm good for right now. So, there's a neighborhood that some friends of a friend live in and they moved up. These houses are really nice. They're five, six, seven hundred thousand dollar houses. It's on golf course. It're five, six, $700,000 houses. It's on golf course. It's a super nice, but it's huge neighborhood. Friends of a friend's moved in there. And when they did, they learned that there were certain cues that you were into, swinging.

That you'd be open to the idea. And they had key parties and all this. Yeah, where you leave your keys in the bowl? Is that right? Yeah, I leave your keys in the bowl. And that means you're not going home tonight. I don't know, you pick up somebody else's key and you take their parties and all this. Yeah, where you leave your keys in the bowl without running. Yeah, okay. And then, you know, that means you're not going home tonight. Yeah. I don't know, you pick up somebody else's key

and then you take their car for a drive. I'm not sure how or say. You take their car for a spin. You take their car for a spin. And then you fuck them later. Listen, I'm gonna drive your Jagger out on the street and I'm gonna come back and tag your wife. Is that okay?

Cool, man. Cool. So this, so outside the neighborhood is a public, public supermarket. Very large grocery store chain that's here in the southeast of America. And the supposedly how it goes is you put a canister of vanilla ice cream, a container of vanilla ice cream

in the top of your basket on the right-hand side if you are in for swinging or up for a screw. Really? And then that's how people know when you're walking around the grocery store that you're up for action, right? That's a grocery store.

I guess. I don't know. I have no idea like you can't just buy ice cream. Yeah, what if I just want ice cream? I know. What about the poor fucker who just wants ice cream? Well, also what happens after that? Don't know. I see the ice cream then what, I know. What about the poor fucker who just wants ice cream? Well, also what happens after that? Don't know.

I see the ice cream then what? I don't, I guess you get approached and then they're like, you know, you knock cars. There's my number. You knock cars. You knock cars and you're like, hey, I live over at 6621. And you're like, yeah, I'm over at 6622. Maybe you get like cards made up,

specific to give away. That's right. That's right, your address, your fake name. But. But so then the give away that was your address, your fake name. But. But so then the other one that was is that you put a pink flamingo, oh no, not a pink flamingo, a star, like you put a star, some kind of star symbol out in front of your house, and that also indicates that you're up for it. Huh.

So these two people that ended up moving into the snapper right now, vanilla ice cream star on the house. I can't wait for the next house after not living No stars. No, I think I should I Always have the thought that this would be a great. I see a great Saturday afternoon It's just to go to the publics and just walk around with ice cream in the park. Maybe we should Maybe this is the next great prank for commercial break. Let's do it together. Let's just, we'll divide and conquer

and see what happens next. That's getting closer to the camera. And put the ice cream in it, yeah. And we'll have, maybe we should like wear a little secret like camera and we'll figure out. So the couple that lives up there now explains that this is true. That's a people that some people in the neighborhood explained that this is true.

This is how it goes. This is the unsecret, this is the very un not secret code of the swingers community here is that you do these things if you want to express the people that you're interested and you don't know them. I will tell you what, they have a pool, the size of fucking six flags there. I mean, it's just an incredibly large pool complex that they have for their community. And I went there once, I was invited by another friend

to go there and it was quite the scene. I mean, there were a lot of like, in their 30s, 40s married people that were out there drinking their Bud lights and everything. Everyone was touching everyone else. There was a lot of touching going on. And it seemed that everyone was very friendly with each other.

So they're sure us. I know. There's like this whole stuff culture. Like, so you don't know it before you move into the neighborhood. The real estate agent is not touching that. It is not on the paperwork. I hear by declare, they have more goods of this deed in lieu of a lot of love. I think it could be a selling point.

Sounds like for some people. Listen, I think for a lot of people it's a selling point quite frankly. I mean. Here's your public. Yeah, here's your, this is the public's where you find extra dick. You can shop it for more than grocery. If you ever need, yeah. If you ever need to go to pound towns right out here at the public, this is right there.

It's so convenient. You want to hit the pool. You just get a tattoo of a pink flamingo on your back. Whoa. And I always wonder like the logistics of swinging. When you get involved in a swinging relationship, and I guess there's different kinds, right? But is it that you go off and have sex separately? Or is it that you go and you have sex together? I don't know. I think there's, I think that's, you

can do both. I just always be weird. I think I'd be weirded out by that. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I've heard too of like the one person does something with somebody else while they're person watches. No, or even just on their own. And I think it works all kinds of different ways. I've had friends who have done that. It did not work out because the whole, the one rule was, you always come home at night, right?

And then the second rule was, you have to communicate openly. Very, yeah, you have to be. About where you're going, what you're doing, and who you're with. Yeah. And then. I can imagine. But with the hopes going, what you're doing, and who you're with. Yeah. And then, but with the hopes that that keeps you from like falling in love with someone else, right? I guess it was another rule that you can't go out with someone more than four or five

times, because then you could get into a relationship with them. And that's not what they want. They just wanted to go out and have the freedom to have sex with people, right? It's my understanding of what happened. And apparently within, you know, the first three months sex with people, right? It's my understanding of what happened. And apparently within the first three months that this happened, someone was already falling in love with something else and had to like call it, call it throw in the white towel.

An intimate thing. Sex is an intimate thing. Yes. Yes, it is. I can imagine. I just find it so interesting that all the picadillos of people's sexual spouses. Yeah, I've already said you never know what people are doing behind closed doors.

Would not believe what I'm doing behind closed doors. You're getting text messages. I do. I do missionary. I do missionary. Two different ways. No vanilla ice cream for you. No, sir. I'm as exciting as it comes. I have a friend who was telling me the other day that he had sex with a woman that was obviously very kind of tight, not like tight in the vaginal sense, but tight, like just a tight human being, right? Kind of wound up tight. Uptight, yeah.

Tight. Uptight. And he had sex with this woman, and then they have sex a couple of times and it's just missionary style. So he says, hey, why don't we get into something else? Right. Let me turn you around and we'll figure out, you know, maybe we can try this, right? He's trying to make suggestions mid-coitus and she's like only creeps would suggest that. Oh. Like mid-coitus. he was like whoa really and she's like

That's the kind of thing an asshole does and I was like oh Jesus Jones That's all for most of my life. I've been a real douchebag. I've been a 33 penis It was it was kind of weird and so- Guess I didn't mark out. No, I guess she's not a swinger. I guess she's not a swinger. You're going to find out Pink Flamingo on her front door. Her star. Everyone is into different things.

Yeah, and it's cool. I say as long as you're not hurting anybody. That's exactly right. Yeah. But then you could really take it pretty far with the- Consenting adults. Consenting adults, so far. Consenting adults. Yeah.

Of course. I'm just endlessly fascinated by this, by this whole thing ever since I got this picture. Now it's gotten me fascinated. Not infasinated like I'm curious, like I want to get involved in it. Yeah. But fascinated in a sense of like,

how does the minutia of all of this work? Right. When you come home at night after you've had sex with someone else, do you shower first? Do you get a hello at the front door? Do you kiss? Welcome home. Yeah, what, hey, honey.

How's that pussy? Is that good? Get some good pussy? Or, you know, how's your dick? How's that dick? How is your nose? How's that cock? How's your night?

I got a nice cock. Like, I don't know how you, but I guess you have to communicate so openly about this, if you're really gonna try and make it work, that no stone would be left unturned. Like, yeah, I had a great time and you know, he gave it to me hard and you know, one or two or a gave it to me. Da, da, da, da, da. I don't know how it works. Listen, it's not gonna be for me. That's for sure.

I'll never find out. That's just all I have. Are you sure you're not gonna go across the country to meet up? No. No. Not gonna help. Okay.

No. Astrid wouldn't let it happen. I wouldn't let it happen. But God bless him. I love him very much. He's a dear friend. It works. Yeah, he made him a mistake. Working for them. They looked happy. They do look happy. Maybe there's something to this. Maybe I should reconsider. Right. Maybe give Astrid a test text.

Oh yeah, a test text. I'm gonna give her a fake text. Thanks for that fuck last night. See you again at public I want to thank Sack Aferon a Zack Efron and his people for calling in Trying to work out an appearance for him on the show Unfortunately, we're busy this week, but you know maybe maybe next week we'll work it in. Yep. Thanks Zach. Appreciate that. Um, tcbpodcast.com is where you go to find all the show notes, read more about Chrissy and I and find our entire media library, both audio and video. We hope you go there. It's brand new. We enjoy it very much and we hope that you do too.

At the commercial break on Instagram, you can follow us there for content. You can't find anywhere else and you can DM us there if you need an invite to clubhouse at tcb Chrissy at Brian Green on Clubhouse and then you can't find anywhere else and you can DM us there if you need an invite to clubhouse at TCB Chrissy at Brian Green on Clubhouse and then you can follow the commercial break club to get access to our live shows Starting next week as this airs it'll start next week So you want to be a part of that and we'll let you know on Instagram when those recordings are happening 47058484449 is where you can text us or leave us a message standard text messaging rates do Apply and so what else do I have to say about swingers? That's it good for you. Good for you. I enjoy I enjoy

Thinking about what all the possibilities It makes me anxious, but does it it makes you nervous? Like I don't think Jeff is gonna be a shout. Yeah. I don't think Jeff is gonna be a watching. I don't think Jeff is gonna decide watch out. Jeff, be careful. Listen, I heard that episode and you know what I'm thinking? I think we should try this. Yeah. Give it a try. Let's go to the boogie. The sweaty,

sweaty boogie. Until next time. Bye. Yes. Until next time. Bye. The commercial break. New episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break.

Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram and join the Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Kano.