The Commercial Break - The Time Traveling Dave Matthews!

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Time travel IS possible. It's been scientifically modeled out. And history is riddled with stories of time traveling adventurers. But they usually don't stand up to much scrutiny. Carlos is no different. He travels back from 2040 to tell us tales of Atl Coin takeovers and ambiguous changes right around the corner. Bryan and Krissy suspect he may have come in from Dave Matthews...played in Denver...yesterday...with bag full of sticky-icky Gummies! The house spiders get their revenge on Bryan! Bryan is prescribed medicine for lepers Krissy visits Denver and back cryptic meme's for Bryan to decipher Crochet is back and it's not just for grandma any more! Roxanne writes a very sweet note to TCB and assures the gang she is up to speed on every episode Some listeners are asking for TCB Merch. You had your chance! Bryan drinks a $15,0000 bottle of wine and has no clue why it's so good Andrew Carlssyn was a time traveling options trader who made $350mm?? Carlos visits us from 2040 to bring good news about our currency Is Carlos time traveling or coming from the DMB concert? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube American Musical Supply is offering $20 off any purchase over $100 Take a Listen to The Jordan Harbinger show! Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) This episode is sponsored by American Musical Supply. Go Here and use promo code TCB to receive $20 off a purchase over $100. Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Commercial Breakers Roxanne Dave Sydney Ronald M Stu Carly Mia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I really got to be the asshole that says we got in this thing and went back in time. It must be some kind of hot tub term shoot. On this episode of the commercial break, even though my skin was dying, I saved it. I was hoping I would wake up and be able to crawl on walls, but... Right, shoot spider webs out of your wrist that did not happen either so what do you what do you gonna do I thought we were gonna actually be able to take a break from this fucking punch one day I hear the music coming from the beach but I cannot pinpoint where all the sudden a man with a saxophone is playing

with a crazy white man, dancing his legs below the guitar. It is a day of Matthews. I am traveling through time with the day of Matthews man. In 2028, the world you know will disappear. You might ask me how I know that, and how I have been smoking a lot of weed in Denver with Chrissy Huddling. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, gloves and mittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host, Kristen Joy. Holy best of you, Kristen.

And best of you, Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Break. It's not for everyone, but fact, news or fiction is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less. So you got that going for you. Go to the tcbbodcast.com website to collect your earnings. The craziest thing was, not but two weeks ago, we were talking about the gift that keeps on giving being the spider webs around my house. Yes, yes, I remember that.

And the spiders must have been listening because I got my, they got their revenge on me. Oh. What did they do? Well, I mean, you know this because a week ago, we're in here recording and we're like, I don't know, like 30 minutes into an episode and I'm like staring at my leg.

It's itching so bad. Yes, that's right. It's itching and I'm staring at my leg and I'm realizing that I have a black spot on top of a bug bite and I just wrap up the recording real quick. I'm like, oh, I guess that's all we can do for today. I'm like, yeah, you're like, I've got to go to the hospital.

I'm like, I gotta go to the hospital. It's like, what, I guess that's all we can do for today. I'm like, yeah, you really like, I've got to go to the hospital. I'm like, I gotta go to the hospital. What? What just happened? Well, I had this, I got this bite. It was itching in the morning in the shower and then throughout the evening, it's like a day before we were recording. Through the evening, I didn't really notice it,

but then when I got in the nighttime shower, because I take two showers, one where I wash my legs and one where I don't. And, which caused Gli to stir out there in our podcast audience. So, I, when I get in the shower for the second shower of the day, it is really itching, it's on fire. Like, I can't stop itching it.

Oh, no. And so then I put some cortisol cream on it. I realize it now it's raised and it's red and it's hard. And it's probably like the size of like, I don't know, like a quarter, yeah. Coral, actually, it's getting bigger and I'm like wow, that's really weird I wonder what I got bit by is not mosquito season around here. So must have been I got a pool and I'm out in the pool debt You know, there's all kind of creepy fucking crawly things back there

There are Every time I go into that pool shed I bang on the wall before I walk in I'm like boom boom right He's don't come A little agreement with the bugs in there. Yeah, mainly the snakes is what I'm worried about. I'm like, if you guys could leave, I'll enter and you can go back to doing whatever I want. Yeah, you can go back in. Just don't bother me.

Don't sneak up on me. So no shit I'm sitting here while we're recording and I see that the bug bite is not only raised red, painful and itchy, but there is a black spot on top of it. I saw that, yeah. Which is necrosis. It means your skin's dying, right?

Well. I was like, that might be an exaggerating little bit. Well, that's what it was. It was? Yeah, that's what it was. I ended up going to the emergency room. OK. You left.

You went out of town. You don't care about me. So you left. I checked on you. You left to go eat your gummy bears and Denver. You did. You checked on me. You were like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah love a dava neither that I was like okay with some random meme

I was in Colorado yeah you said me the funny colorado Colorado text you know it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it'll it He lived, I can't say the opposite of eloquently. Yeah. In eloquently. Allegable. Oh, illegible. You lived in that. I was going for an eloquently. It's like, my brain go. It was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, what is going on there? So I go, I end up going to the emergency room that night because the doctor, I called the doctor, they called me back, they said, oh yeah, you gotta go. Like, you don't want that turn in anything.

So, doctor walks in, first thing he says is, what's going on? And I said, spider bite. And he goes, oh, the spider's always get a bad rap. It's always a spider bite, you know? It's always a spider bite, but it's never, it goes hardly ever a spider bite. Let's take a look, right?

He's like, it's probably a bee or something, you got something and he's like, oh yeah, that's a spider bite. That's definitely, no, it looked like it when I was googling. Yeah. Yeah, before you went to the hospital. So he goes, yeah, this looks like probably

of the recluse family, but I don't think. Oh, brown recluse. Yeah, he's like, I think it's a baby or it didn't get you because luckily it's not bad. Like, I've seen worse. And he's like, but you got a little bit of a creus on top of there. He's like, so let's go ahead and shoot,

dope you up with, now listen to this Chris. You know, feel that already about, you know, you're arguing with the spider in the middle of the night, like thinking about where it actually came from. Right, where it is. Good game from the pull house. Good it came from my bed.

Could have. Good it been like when I was sleeping. I hate that because when you get in bed too and you feel an itch, you don't know what's going on. Yeah, you're like, and then I'm always like I'm always like, oh, that's a crumb. Yeah, it's a crumb. I shouldn't be eating in bed. I never eat in bed.

It's my fucking children. God damn it. So I'm like, oh really? And he's like, oh yeah, this has got all the telltale signs. He's like, unless we caught it, we don't know. He's like, I'm just telling you, I have a lot of experience because in Georgia, we got a ton of these.

Yeah, the brown or clues. But I've seen much worse. And he's like, after 24 hours, if it's not really, really bad, you're not in danger of shape. But we do have to give you some medicines to take care. We got to stave off any infection. And I was like, okay.

So he gives me this cream. And he's like, yeah, this cream is called like neffectin or something. And I'm like, oh, okay, great. Whatever the fuck that is. He's like, I'm also gonna give you an oral medication that has a similar name because it's just the ingestible, digestible version.

Right? So you're gonna take what you're gonna put one on your leg, you're gonna swallow the other one. Double team. And he's like, you know, let me send it to the pharmacy. Sometimes they don't always have this stuff. And I'm like, why is that? And he's like, well, it's usually it's reserved for lepers. Leoporcy.

Leoporcy. Yeah. And I'm like leoporcy. Versus C. Pro, Coney Pro. I was like, well, okay. Yeah surf, surf, surf, crum, crum, crum. I was like, well, okay. Yeah, whatever you think, Doc. To the CVS, the guy's like, wow, we don't give this shit out much.

He's staying really far away from you. He's got like one of those little grabbers. Yeah, the grabber. Let's do a mask on. It's like, would you mind coming through the drive through? Is that okay with you? I'll just toss it to you. I know.

So, yeah, so the spiders got that revenge. They did. I find out, everything's fine. I went away after a couple days. Yeah, and the little black spot never got bigger. So, even though my skin was dying, I saved it. I was hoping I would wake up and like be able to like crawl on walls, but.

Right, shoot, the spider webs out of your wrist. That did not happen either. So, what do you, what are you gonna do? I'm glad you're here. I thought we were gonna actually be able to take a break from this fucking bot. That's, but no excuses. No excuses.

I'm putting in whatever. A din of a spider bite. A din of a spider bite. I can't record. Yeah, okay, by the way, I had to move some meetings and I'm like, I got a bit by a spider. And people are like, yeah, great. Is that the Irish spider you were bitten by? This is fucking stupid.

That is the worst excuse to mis-a-meeting. I got bit by a spider. It's the truth though. Yeah, it's only the truth could sound that stupid, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like usually you make up something ambiguous and very broad so that they can't film you down. Well COVID is a big broad one now. Yeah, okay, you can say COVID. I got COVID. I mean, that would be out for

four to seven weeks. I'm reading about these people with the long COVID. It's just, it's a thing. It's, it's really crazy. I mean, when you have long COVID, apparently, it's, it's bad. Like, you just lay around and you're very fatigued. Yeah. It's when you learned to crochet. Like what you and I were talking about earlier in the car. That's right. The kids are starting to crochet. Yeah. Well, that's, I was out for parents weekend in Colorado. Yeah.

This, this weekend. And my stepdaughter who is just lovely, she is one of my favorite people. Lovely person. So sweet and amazing at crochet. She is a, she's a college student. And loves crochet. crochet, she's got her own Instagram account.

It's amazing. She's trying to teach me a couple times Did you know that the high-end I coordination for that? But this is not an unusual apparent. This is not like a one-off that your stepdaughter Has crocheted because there are this is a very popular thing to do now with the younger set It's amazing what she can make too. She makes dresses and shirts and bags. I want to make us something I will yeah, and I did want to make her something. I will.

And I did want to bring up something else as well because we did see her cousin, Henry, who is a big long time supporter of the commercial break. I do remember Henry. Well, I love Henry. And he said, if we ever need anybody, he's moving to New York. Okay. And he said, if we ever need a guest correspondent,

he would be happy. Would he go into some of these crazy conferences and stuff like that? Yeah, I mean, he would do whatever, man on the street stuff up in New York, guests, I thought we need help. Would they tell them the pay scale? Would the young people pay us pay scales?

And so we need to know about the metaverse. Can you be our metaverse? Do you tell them the pay scales, like Indian sweatshop type of pay scale? Yeah, we have't talk pay. That's good. That's good. I was telling my wife, I'm like, in this next fucking contract, well, I mean, contract,

like we're talking to Spotify or something. I go in this next, whatever contract we, if we ever get into one of those contracts, I'm going to put in the contract a limit on how many episodes we put out per year, because it's just ridiculous how many episodes we put out. We're churning in, but we never stop making these episodes. I'm never out of this studio editing, but here's the crazy thing. So we asked the question just like maybe five weeks ago, how could it possibly be that anybody could have kept up

with all of these episodes? Yeah. And so far, we've gotten like seven responses. I'm up to date, right? I know. I listened, I'm on top of it Which just surprises me how you could listen to our in incessant voices For three hours of fucking me. I'm amazed every week. Yeah, I'm like who's listening to Brian? I laugh at each other

My wife makes up doctors appointments to get away from you. So we're gonna take kids doctor honey Just be back. Just like you go to the grocery store I go to the grocery store, she goes to the doctor, but she takes the kids. Like when you're volunteering to spend more time with the children alone, you know that I must be extremely boring, but you know, welcome to the commercial break.

Not for everyone. Well, we did get a very sweet message from our dear friend Roxanne right now. Okay, I hate reading reviews, but you have the one? Yeah, I do. You have it, let's you pull it on up there. Roxanne's a long time fan of ours,

and I don't want to be that morning show Like I know some podcasts do this, but then you get into that like that morning show territory And for the weekend, it's movie rocking round green. And I'm here to tell you that I love your sound. That's it. Which by the way, is exactly what this show sounds like anyway. How did he help? Loud obnoxious, I hate it. I know.

Okay, go ahead, read the book. Okay, hi, hi, Brian and Chrissy, explanation point. This is Roxanne Reagan, still love the podcast and have listened to all episodes. Always look forward to the new ones coming out. Well, good for her. Not sure how much merchandise y'all have for TCP yet. Well, we did have some. We tried to give merchandise away. Yeah, nobody would take it. People would even give us their address. Like, I'm not going to have those goofals show up in my front door.

But as I was listening to that latest show in Frankie B today, I just had a random thought about you considering Frankie B inspired merch. That would be an idea. You know, something along the lines of, look at my body! And she's a party girl! We got for the party girls. Love the show and mostly your secret sauce, which will always be your long standing friendship. You know each, you each know where the bodies are buried.

And we can't wait to hear about it. We'll hear about all of it. But you know, we give you a… We reveal more and more each. Yeah. Well I think that's like the nature of this show too, is that as the further we go along, the more we have to talk, the more we have to reveal, because we're running out of fucking things to talk about.

I talk to you more and I talk to my wife. And by the way, we did, we had this brilliant idea. So there's probably so many new listeners since this happened, but we had this brilliant I thought brilliant idea. Brian thought we were really like that. No one else did. Which was let's make some stickers, like collectible type stickers, like in the shape of a guitar pick or one you would put on the back of your car or like one in the silhouette of Frankie B or whatever. Let's make these stickers. Let's put a number

on the back of Frankie B. I think that was actually... We actually called about that. I asked her that I did. But then we would have these stickers and all people had to do was one of three things. They had to write a review and send us a screenshot. They had to purchase something from one of our sponsors, send us a screenshot. Or they just had to write in a message, like just say hello and do not send us a screenshot. Like do nothing. You know, do anything.

We made for series number one, we made 500 of those fucking stickers and I still have 498 of them. I fucking think we got. I think they littered the Mimpho stages last year. We gave, we threw a bunch of them out there and people just, they live, you know. I love my TCB t-shirt by the way. Oh, TCB t-shirts, I've worn it too. There's a little hole in it now.

Oh, you have? Well, it talks about the quality of the TCB. Mark some of that. That is. We're doing a great job. I think it works so much. Yeah. Yeah.

We only the finest part here at this area. We're not going with Gucci shirts. No. Gucci shirts. I read about, they broke up a big, there was a boutique studio in New York, a boutique clothing studio in New York And they busted it and they they busted the lady had a hundred and sixty five million dollars worth of fake fake

Apparel from places like Gucci and Prada and all this stuff and what she was selling was and she was kind of smart about this What she sold was not like the purses? Right where it can be sometimes obvious that there's a different knockoff, but she would sell like, you know, it's very popular for some of these high-end brands. They're putting out street clothing now, like a hoodie with a Prada logo on it, like embroidered in there, or it's like silk screened onto it. It's not any different than the T-shirts that you and I wear to go to bed. The only difference is, is the name that's on it.

And people are paying tens of thousands of dollars for these shirts. Of course, yeah, just sprinkle it in. Yeah, just a mix of the real stuff. She didn't even bother. She just was silk screening the logos on there, and she was selling this as legit, and it was so hard to determine the difference because what is the difference? There is no difference. Yeah, it's a T-shirt.

People are paying for a name. There's a whole movie about this, about how this luxury brand and how it's come to prominence since the, whatever, since the 60s or 70s or whatever it was, and how some of these brands have really capitalized on that, and how they do it, and how they make a luxury brand, seem luxurious,

even it's like the whole wine thing. It is a $10 bottle of wine, really different than a hundred dollar bottle of wine. Is it any different than a thousand dollar bottle of wine? So I talked to Somalia recently about this because he's one of the few, you know, Somalia, like that, you know, yeah. Yeah, they know what they're talking about.

They don't talk about this, like, you know, 600 of them at any given time on earth. Right. Real Somalia, is it a taken the test and done the thing? What if it was a fake Somalia? Could have been a fake Somalia, I have no idea. I didn't check his badge. I have no idea. I didn't check his badge. I have no idea.

Yeah, I mean, anyone could say that one, right? That's right. He could have been a testicle with Smollier and I would have known the difference. Could have been different as balls in the wine. And I don't know. So I say, hey, listen, be honest with me. What's the difference between a $100 bottle of wine

and a $10,000 bottle of wine? And he said, at some point, there is no difference. Yes. He goes, there is a difference between a bad bottle of wine and a good bottle of wine. And usually the good bottle of wine gets identified by people like me or other connoisseurs of wine. Like, this is a really good wine. We should, you know, there should be.

We should recommend it. Yeah, we should recommend it. And maybe they should put a limit on it. You know, there's like a whole process, but it's so subjective, just like art and all this other stuff. It's so fucking subjective that you never really know what you're paying for at one time. True.

You wanna ask your nine, one out, to dinner one time with a friend who was celebrating our engagement. Guy came in very well to do guys, but it's done very well for himself. We'll give his way his name. I know who he was talking about. You know who I'm talking about, right? And we go to this restaurant here in this little town well for himself. We'll give his way his name. I know who he was talking about. You know who I'm talking about, right? Yes.

And we go to this restaurant here in this little town that we, this little township near our house, uh, city center. We go there, we go to the nicest restaurant in this, which is a very nice restaurant, steakhouse. We go there, we're looking at the wine list. Hey, you're going to have a glass of wine? Sure, I'll have a glass of wine. You're going to have a glass of wine, ask for it. Sure, I'll have a glass of wine. He looks at the wine list and he instantaneously picks the screaming eagle, bottle of wine, screaming eagle bottle of wine, $15,000, I think was the price tag on this bad boy, $15,000 on this bottle of wine.

You would have thought that King fucking Arthur himself had walked in the door and picked up that bottle of wine as it was moving through the restaurant. People were like, it's a very crowded restaurant. People were making way. Waders were like, behind the waiter who was tearing bottle of wine, you know, there was like two people under it with a pillow. Don't drop it, don't drop it, don't drop it. But people recognized what was going on. It became very exciting in the restaurant. We were all the sudden the center. The restaurant has made a $15,000 sale. Okay, right, dude. A bunch of dumbasses, they don't have no idea. I could have bought a whatever a boon's farm

and I probably would have tasted the same. So he brings over this incredibly elaborate decanter. It's gotta go, you know, around the hose, through the nose, up and down, sideways. It's like a roller coaster for a wine, right? Yes, it's an air-raid suit. Air-raid suit. So they can eat food.

Whatever. So Nico and Blooger. So the guy opens the bottle of wine and he pours it in into this decanter. As he's pouring it into the decanter, the guy that we're with is like, just pour the glasses. Go ahead and pour the glass. We don't need to sit there, let this thing sit for hours. He's not buying the bullshit either, even though he's the one paying the $15,000 for the wine. He doesn't want the presentation, he wants the wine. So the guy pours the glasses real quick and though he's the one paying the 15 fucking thousand dollars for the wine. He doesn't want the presentation.

He wants the wine. So the guy pours the glasses real quick and then he sits it down and the rest of the wine is working its way through the decanter. What I realized after about two minutes is that there is a small pool of wine that is collecting on my napkin that is sitting next to the decanter. The wine is leaking out of the can't answer. Like a hundred dollars a drop, right? Yeah. And I'm like, uh, hey, hey, uh, we leaking out of the can't answer. Like $100 a drop, right? And I'm like, uh, uh, hey, hey, uh,

we should probably get the waiter there. And the guy that took us to dinner is like, ah, yeah, yeah, just put a glass under it or something and I couldn't get the glass under it. So I'm like, waving to the waiter and I'm like, hey, you know, there's a wine is pouring all over the place. This guy is freaking out. You, you would have thought, yeah,

you would have thought a plane dropped out of the sky. I mean, immediately there's an emergency meeting and then hundreds of people are around us and they're all sopping this up and they're squeezing out the napkin into the cancer and one guy's licking the table and he's like, we'll put a 10% discount on it, sir. And you know, everyone's like, whatever.

Cause it's shit. It's a fucking bottle of wine. I gotta be honest, about that $15,000 bottle of wine. While it was very interesting to have the whole commotion around it, I am not sure for one second, one second that it tasted any different than anything I have ever tasted before as far as good wines are concerned.

Right, good wines. There wasn't a difference. It didn't taste any different to me. I didn't go, oh my God, this is the best bottle of wine I've ever had, even though it's clearly the most expensive. Yes. Because there was a difference. It didn't taste any different to me. I didn't go, oh my God, this is the best bottle of wine I've ever had, even though it's clearly the most expensive. Yes. Because there was no difference. And so, you know, going back to it.

It's subjective. It's all very subjective. Yeah, and everybody's palette is different. And that's the way it works. I like the luxury item world. Yeah, my palette likes cream and cereal. So, I don't know the best. Heavy cream. Heavy cream. I'm going to tell you a story, Chrissy. I'm going to tell you a story and I want you to tell

me whether or not you think of this story. Are you ready? I think so. In a matter of 44, in a matter of two weeks, 44-year-old Andrew Carlson turned an $800 profit into $350 million with 126 consecutive trades in the US stock market. Despite the high risk of each trade, Carlson's investments produced a winner every single time. He quickly caught the attention, the attention of the federal investigators at the SEC, who were sure that his successors could only point to one thing inside or trading. During questioning, investigators got an explanation they had never expected. During a four hour confession that was videotaped, Carlson stated that he had traveled back in time from 250 years

in the future. What? Bringing knowledge of which stocks were going to set through the rules. I'm gonna put them back to the future, part two. Yeah. They did. The one where they predicted Trump was gonna be the president. Which, actually, yeah.

In his videotape confession, Carlson said, it was just too tempting to resist. I planned to make it look natural by losing a little here and losing a little there, but I got caught up in the moment and decided to execute all the trades as I knew they were going to happen. Wow! Authorities were convinced he was lying, branding him a lunatic and or a pathological liar. However, they couldn't account for where Carlson got his information from.

An SEC source said, if the company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough, that was supposed to be a secret. However, Mr. Carlson knew nothing about this in advance that we could tell. The SEC also admitted they couldn't find any record of Andrew Carlson's existence before December 2002. What? This is amazing. I love this news. Vying for me. I'm travel. I'm travel what this is amazing. I love this news.

Vying time travel is possible. Okay, hold on. Got to give those wormholes. I can't. And how do you do that? I wasca. I think the noodle dance at a panic concert. Yes. If you twirl hard enough.

Dave Matthews at the end of bartender. Bartender please. Where am I, man? It's 1996. You're the DNB concert. Look out for the fire dancer. Yeah, if you twirl hard enough, if you twirl hard enough, you'll end up at 250 years in the future. Vying for leniency, Carlson said he'd be willing to dive bold the cure for aids and the location of osama bin laden now this is back a number of years ago before bruson uh... been law and was caught

he also said that uh... he was to return to his time craft and go back to his own time though he refused to reveal the location of that craft for fear that it would fall into the wrong. I mean, he was Dr. Who. This was Dr. Who, exactly. This was actual Dr. Who.

So listen to this. He's vanished now. He's gone back. He post, the judge gave him a $1 million bail. He sat in jail for a number of weeks and then one day through a lawyer, someone put up the bail, the $1 million bail in cash. Law enforcement was unable to trace where this cash came from. However, they had no choice but to let Carlson out of jail. He was never found again.

Whoa. Never. I love this story. I love it. I love it so much because I mean, I grew up watching Dr. Hoo. So I just wanted to be true. I just really wanted to be true. So you really wanted to be true?

Mm-hmm. It's not. It's a fake story that was put out. But this is a, but I have found a number of, I'm bringing this story up because I wanna talk about time travel. Okay. And this is kind of the most interesting, I think, urban legend.

I mean, there's another one about a guy who died in 1956. He was hit by a car in the middle of Times Square. And when he got hit by that car, he was supposedly looking confused and in dress from 100 years earlier. They found crisp, clean bills from the time period, as well as an identification card that identified him as a man who had lived 100 years earlier, but disappeared. Before he stepped out into traffic,

he had no idea what was going on. He was like, what are all these cars? Where am I? It just like dropped in. Yeah, dropped in. From the wormhole. From the wormhole, from the Dave Matthews concert. Yes.

In 1883. And when he got hit by the car, right before he got hit by the car, he was asking, where is whatever it is, 33-Park Avenue, that's where I live. Well, when authorities looked at 33-Park Avenue, whatever the address is, I don't remember the exact address, it had been like a sewing house for 75 years. No house had existed there in any postal record ever, but there were pictures from a period of time when there were houses on that block, like actual homes on that block,

but it had been a building for 75 years. And no one could remember this guy, his name, family's name, whatever. They eventually found a family member of a family member. You said, oh yeah, that's all, that's all. That's crazy, Uncle Brian yeah, that's all crazy. That's all I can think. That's all I can think.

That's all I can think. We lost him in the great. He's done this before. We lost him in the great bar crawl in 2021. It hasn't been fast. He was dressed like a pilgrim. He was dressed like a hobo. He was dressed like a hobo. He was Halloween and his mom dressed up like a hobo.

Yes. So this is another urban legend that has a lot of people out there talking about time travel. Unfortunately, both of these can be easily debunked. They were stories that were written in magazines as fictional stories and they kind of took on a life of their own.

As a matter of fact, the first story that I told was picked up by Yahoo Note News and other reputable news sources. So now there's lots of people out there who, despite showing them where the evidence lies that this came from an actual story in a book that was supposed to be fictional, they still believe it. They still think that the government has experienced it. That's the problem. Yeah, that's the problem.

You know, anything that's a headline grabber. People are out of there. They don't. I want it to be true. I want it to be true too. I really want it to be true. Yes. And I originally heard this story on a fascinating YouTube

channel called WFYFiles. And I love the guy. And what he does is he'll tell a story for like 20 minutes. And then it's either true or it's not true. And he'll give you his evidence, the facts, right? Only the facts, man. But he'll weave a story for like 20 minutes, and then it's either true, it's not true, and he'll give you the evidence, the facts, right? Only the facts, man. But he'll weave a story, and you're like, oh my God, this is incredible!

And then he lets you down, right? And he's like, by this not true. And you're like, fuck, man. So I heard this, I don't know, five or six months ago on this show, and it made me interested in like, are there people out there that actually think that they have time traveled and are talking about it online? And of course, there are. Of it online, and of course they are.

Of course. And of course they are. So, I was trolling on the internet. I was, you do. Time traveling on the internet, as I do. Hey cats and kittens, welcome to the commercial break, inside the commercial break. Hit us up with your comments, questions, concerns, or content ideas. At one of two places, either 661-237-8296.

You can text us or leave us a voicemail there. Or you can send us an email through the website, just go to tcbpodcast.com and hit the contact us button. While you're there, you can listen to all the audio or watch all the video right from one location, tcbpodcast.com. Do us a favor. Take a listen to our sponsors and if you're ever in the market for their products or services, you could use the URLs or the specialized codes we drop inside of those ads.

But you don't have to spend money to love on us, you can always leave us a review, a rating, or a comment on your favorite podcast player. Take two minutes, if you send us a screenshot, I'll send you some shwag at the commercial break on Instagram or TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. So after you listen to it here, go watch it on YouTube and get an extra laugh. You can put me your stash. We're going to hear about those sponsors now and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break.

I found a man who claims that he is a time traveler from the future. I want to give credit where this video is from, Apex TV, go give them a follow, they've got some interesting stuff on there, but I don't know all of their stuff, so I don't know where I'm sending you. I just like a couple videos that I've watched. This is Carlos, and Carlos claims

that he's from the future. I can't see his head. You can't see his head because it's blurred. They're protecting his identity. I don't know my story today. I don't know if I was head was still in another round. His head is in 2000s, 622. But his dick came back. It's like the metaverse torso. That pussy is really good in 2022 before all the radiation.

Oh yeah, it's like the torso. That's right. But I love this guy. I just think this is too funny. No, no. After hearing my story today, you may think I'm crazy, but everything I say is true. He talks like Sasha Bergankoan

in one of those movies. So I already got a disbelieving audience to say. My name is Carlos. I was born and raised in Alecante, Spain. And I spent my childhood on the beach fishing with my family. Before getting in one day, I hear a music coming from the beach, but I cannot pinpoint where. All the sudden, a man with a saxophone is playing with a crazy white man,

dancing his legs below the guitar. It is a Dave Matthews. I am traveling through time with the Dave Matthews band. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, about and the plea. To the story, let me first say that the world will change drastically very soon. Very soon. That's really not a stretch to say that. We're not saying, thank you. Anybody could go at any time and say that the world is going

to change drastically very soon. And it just will. It will be true. Of course. Sooner than you think. Well, I think pretty soon the world's going to change. I mean, I'm going to walk out this house. It's going to be different than it was an hour ago. In 2028, the world you know will disappear. You might ask me how I know that and how I have been smoking a lot of weed in Denver with Chrissy Honeley. I got a text message. Chrissy Honeley in Denver.

She told me, the world will be totally different. The world will be totally different with five Fs. Can't speak so confidently. I will tell you the secrets I was born in 2012 you may think I'm joking it's 2022 now and then obviously not 10 years old but wait even in 2028 you're still gonna only be 16 I I don't get this, right? No, I don't understand. I will now reveal my main secret. I'm on the edge of my face. I have a bucket to put in and I have been stretching my cock 10 inches.

If you want that, click below. For the Y Brian 3000, the special sauce that you put on your cock before sex to make your long, strong, and hard for all the ladies. Side effects may include hair loss, blindness, teeth falling out. Lepersy. Lepersy. Necrosis. You may have spider webs coming out of your wrist. From current times, I am from the year 2040. I know it sound like some sort of science fiction store.

Nope sounds completely legit bro. Yeah, no sound like somebody we hear every day. Sounds legit bro. But it's absolutely true. A few centuries ago a submarine or an airplane was just as fantastic. Would anyone believe that there could be an electric clock that could contain both a telephone and a player and a health tracker back in the 2000s? Yeah, I mean, they were thinking this up. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Like the Jetsons and what was the other one? Star Trek and what was the other one with the guy with the watch?

Flintstones? Well. They went back and took it. Oh, they had a little bird that was chipping away at the time every time. Well, no, I mean, there was kit, you know, dark night writer, all like this is not science fiction since the 40s. What was it like man 3000 or something like that? Yeah, why Brian 3000. Now I get that on my brain. So I know I agree with you. And do pond, one of the stories I looked up about time traveling is just is a picture of a short movie

of a lady walking out of the do pondont offices, wherever, Dupont, Tennessee, or whatever. And she is holding what looks like a iPhone, and she's talking into it, and as she sees the camera, she puts it away, right? It's a very fascinating video. But they're... She was from the future? Well, she doesn't claim to be from the future. She had something in her hand that looked like, why would someone from the 30s or the 40s Be holding something that looks like an iPhone. Well, she was trying to dodge the

That's what I thought I'm all the I thought she had one of those like ear things. You know you put in there like what's called Kaliope? Oh, yeah hearing horn The future what's that And I phone you say, that's a bellic that I sliced off last night and put it in my lunchbox for a snack. But the truth is the lady told the lady's family said that she was working in a dupe on office where they were working on wireless devices at the time back in the 30s and 40s. So this has been in motion for a little while. The idea is she's there.

Yeah. So maybe you and I couldn't have thought about it. Like we weren't on top of every single technological advancement that was going on. And we were like, doo. Give us our next thing. No, you got the guy in blue, bro. You said, what? A picture taken camera clock? Well, I don't need all that shit.

But your sister's hot. No, I'm not interested in you then. I'll say my good old fashion telephone connected to my wire. That's what I need. to my wife. That's what I need. It is just a simple smartwatch produced by almost all brands. What I'm saying is that the world can change drastically in just one day. So far you're not predicting anything. You're not telling us anything about the future. You're just telling us what we already know. Simply because of a new invention, such as the telephone, electricity, uranium usage and so on. By the way, electricity is not an invention. It's been around since the beginning of time. Let me get back to the story. Please.

Oh, please. Thanks, Carlos. You appreciate it. Yeah. Come on. Go up to speed. Sorry, please. Oh, please. Thanks, Carlos. We appreciate it. Yeah. Come on. Go up to speed.

I lived in Spain all my life. As I said, I was fishing. And later we had a small family factory in Valencia. I'm saying all this so that we understand that I'm an ordinary person like you. Oh yeah my family owns a... Valencia. Valencia's fate also. I'm just like you. He's an ordinary fisherman. I wonder if traveling backwards through time made him talk so slow. From the simple family. As I was saying the world will soon change drastically and it will start in 2028 when the crypto currency immediately became dominant over the dollar and the rest of the currencies

we all know. I like he's giving us a tip. Yeah he's giving us a tip I'm gonna get it all in that crypto currency. It's a great time to get into crypto currency. I got a hot tip for you, Chrissy. Cryptocurrency. All the bros are doing it. But do not rush to invest all your money into crypto currency. Chrissy, I take back that advice I had about cryptocurrency. Hold on that. I'll let you do that. I'm waiting for Carlos to give me the green light. Because the future crypto is not yet available on any online platform.

It is only available at Carlos. CarlosCrypto.com. Here I give my daily crypto tips from the future. Daily crypto tips. From 2040. Here's my crypto tip for today. My Carlos coin. In 2040, it will be worth a billion zabbies. Cryptos in for today by Carlos coin In 2040 it will be worth a billion zabies

Which will be the dominant currency of the way don't rush to invest on your money. Yeah, hold on don't invest all your money Just most 75% the Carlos coin 25% to food in beverages, isn't such? 75% to Carlos coin, 10% to screaming eagle, and then 15% to other necessities. Don't want you to get crazy. Everything is more complicated than you think. In 2026, the United States will introduce a new payment system called CoinCellery. What is this coin salary? What is this coin salary? What are you making me a pizza? What is this coin salary? This is not a U- a coin salary More sold it never What an original name Carlos coin salary. Yeah, let me explain a few words. I

Need more than a few. Yeah, I have never believed I never believe that Carlos has ever explained anything in a few words Just gonna share that information with you Imagine for a second you I shouldn't talk shit about Carlos because he could be in the future killing me. Because, just like that spider. Yeah, that's right. For a salesperson working in a shop, and they're monthly salaries $6,000.

Holy shit, you're getting paid $6,000 to work in a shop? And shoe factory? Yeah, and a shoe sales guy. I mean, those people do make money. We're in the wrong business. This is what they're like. Well, those fake Gucci stores.

That's right. $5,900 more than we make on this show. Stead. You will receive crypto coins. So you're not in the, the factory person is saying is, I'm not going to pay you in dollars. I'm going to pay you a crypto salary salary, crypto salary, whatever you say. You're going to make $6,000 a month.

You're going to make crypto. In crypto salad. In crypto salad. Just big investment in Carlos crypto. Carlos crypto and crypto salad. Take it home and put it in the fridge, because when it dies, you can't use it anymore. Don't eat it, it's very expensive. Eeks quantity crypto coins, which you can spend on whatever you want.

You receive a specific amount of crypto coins for specific purposes. Isn't that the way that money changes work? No. Well, I think I understand what he was saying. For goods and services, you receive a certain thing. No, what he's saying is you reset your different money for different things. So you get like crypto salad is one thing.

Yeah, crypto salad is one thing. You could get for shoes. You could get crypto car for your car. OK. Crypto house for your house, right? So your boss will pay you in multiple different ways. I don't think that the US government could ever do anything like this.

No. I don't think I could ever do anything like this. Example, you will get eat coin to buy food. Eat coin. Let's make it up the name for the future. Let's do it in the naming conventions in the future? Because I want to talk to them. It's going for food.

Dick's going for pussy. Born coin for paying your children's school. It's a little complicated, but you can use it for either. Car coin to buy car, travel coin to travel, etc. What is the point of that? Exactly, what is the point of that? Well, he's about to explain. If you are a salesperson, for example, you can never buy an expensive sports car or spend your entire year link in Monaco's casinos. You have a certain amount of crypto coins for specific things. You can't buy clothes with eat coins. You need truck coin to buy clothes. I you need clothes coin to buy clothes coin.

Clothes coin, clothes coin, cloth coin, cloth coin. Carlos, you're making less and less sense as this video goes on. Yeah. Why would I care whether or not the sales guy buys a big car? Why does it matter? There are plenty of people who have sports cars they could never afford. Yeah. They're like car poor, you know, house poor

or whatever it is. Maybe that's the point, like they can control your money, but I'm not really buying that in four years from now. This is all going down. Wait, we just had an insurrection. You think anybody can allow those to happen? Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

We don't have our shit together over here that you was. You're giving us way too much credit, Carlos. Techno coin to buy a laptop or a smartphone, etc. You may think it is a new way of control and everything is very bad and apocalyptic, but in reality, no, these are not that bad.

I like eating my eat the coin for eating and my deco coin for vagina. What if you're at a restaurant and you buy some merch, like you're at the hard rock cafe. You are in tough spots. And then you get some clothes, you have different coin. That's right.

Then you have a restaurant merch coin, which is very rare. It's hard to convive. What do you, you want some merch at the restaurant? You buy a restaurant merch coin. If you had Dave Mathews concert, you had Dave Mathews coin. Concert coin. Concert coin. That's right, Chrissy.

More specific. Every band has a rope coin. You will be very well paid for the work you do. And it would be impossible not lead and normal life. Well, maybe we will have pot coin. Yeah. We'll be very well paid for the work we do. We'll have TCB crypto. Yeah. Pot coin. I don't believe this. And there's one reason why I don't believe this. I don't see how we're getting to $6,000 a month and four years Carlos.

$6,000 a month and four years Carlos. I ran the math. It's not possible. The crypto coins you receive, you can just say that the government organizes your budget for you. Yeah, that's going to go real well. Well, well, well, that's with anybody. Democrat or Republican. Yeah, I was about to say with this group, but the truth is, is that no one's going to stand for this shit?

I mean, I can see a few weird people being like, it's perfect, but no one wants this. So that a person with a small salary doesn't spend all the money on an expensive car and not be able to pay the rent later. So you're telling me that basically they're going to a class system is coming in and it's expensive car and not be able to pay the rent later. So you're telling me that basically they're gonna, a class system is coming in and it's gonna divide us even further by class because now I cannot put on the shoes

that the guy above me can buy, even if I want those shoes and I save up my own money for them. This sounds very, oh, communist and it's even a little much for me. Yeah, exactly. Well, don't we kind of's even a little much for me. Yeah, exactly. Well, don't we kind of already have a little bit of that tiny bit

with the EBT cards, you know, that like it's specifically gonna be used for food? Yeah, but that's giving people help that they need because they can't afford the food. Exactly, that's what it sounds like, he's saying. Like, you can't, if you're poor, you can't spend it on food. Actually, this doesn't sound like a bad idea. I think my wife has me on a similar program.

Yes. It's called Astrid Coin. It's called Astrid Coin. And it's working real well. We'll hear more from Carlos next week. I can't get into the whole video today. So it's a little long. And he speaks a little slow to be honest with you.

Gastee-dose. Yes, he does. You may think I'm not the like you, but my family own all of Alacante Spain. Yes, he does. I'm getting into crypto just in case. That's all I gotta say. Yeah. Carlos has me convinced. Divelled Abel. Yeah. I'm gonna... I wonder if Carlos knows this Carlson guy. I put the two of them together. I want to tell you another story about the count of Monte Cristo.

I think it is. Okay. Count of something or other. I'll tell you another story. That's a book. Yeah, no, no, there's a... You wanna read me the book? Yeah, I'll read reach the book right here on the commercial break. We're really Scraping the bottom we probably have higher

Next up, Brian will read the counts of Monte Cristo next time on the commercial break Maybe that's how we get to another 500 episodes of this We'll get 200 of those episodes can be the counts of Monte Cristo Jesus Jones episodes of this. We'll get 200 of those episodes can be the counts of Monty Christ. Jesus, Jones. Okay, Chrissy and I really appreciate you tuning into the commercial break, because your first time here, welcome. If you're keeping up with every episode, what the fuck are you thinking? We appreciate it too.

We know in the future the commercial break is no longer around. 2020-8s are cut off, Dave. Well, actually, we might be going to 2020-20-20-8 to pay off this roadcaster. We bought in the first day of our broadcast. Anyway, we love you. Thanks for tuning in to www.tcbpodcast.com. That's where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I. You can take a look at the episodes, all the audio, all the video. You can contact us if you want to give us comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, most importantly. We're looking for stories

about infidelity and we've actually gotten a few already. Send your stories in about infidelity and we're gonna spend a week doing nothing but stories about infidelity. Oh yeah, there's one really good story. One really good story. Well-rated by a really good writer

and she just nailed it. I loved it. I was laughing out loud. So we'll get to that in the next couple of weeks at the commercial break on Instagram, but youtube.com slash the commercial break is most important or now YouTube has handles so go to at TCB podcast if you want to find all of our stuff just type it in the search engine. Okay Chrissy I think that's all I can do. I think so Brian. Best of you. Best of you. I love you. And best of you out

there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, bye! I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad I'm so sad, I'm so sad I'm so sad, I'm so sad I'm so sad, I'm so sad you