The Commercial Break - The Tree Of Records

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

Bryan is confused as to why we are still wearing masks and he shares that confusion. The TCB fan base is communicating in droves and giving Bryan more deranged content ideas. The gang shares an update on the $500 giveaway and then they dig into the extraordinarily dangerous world of Highlining.  LINKS: Win $500 from TCBtv-(minus) by following Instagram or subscribing on YouTube and leaving a comment on your favorite episode in the month of June. Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor EarBuds Podcast Newsletter SquadCast Podcast Remote Audio / Video Recording Hello Fresh: Use Code TCB12 Apostrophe: Dinner Table Dermatology. $15 off your online appointment. Use The Code COMMERCIAL Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel Join The Comedy Podcasts Club on ClubHouse New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 [phone] FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

WSHID is proud to present Prerah Palusa. We now go live in the studio with Pastor Rob. Fighthurt Beals and her neighbors got blessed! Ha ha ha! The day of miracles has come! 99% of what comes out of your butt is completely odorless. It's the 1% that causes the trouble. Trouble indeed! 99% of what comes out of your butt is completely odorless. It's the 1% that causes the trouble.

Trouble indeed from your butt and from your mouth. As they say, Pastor Rob, from your ass to God's ears, we'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the Commercial Break. For a couple of months there we were giving you our Clubhouse information so you could go follow us there forget about that. Um... Once again. Once again, another failed attempt to get the kids. Forget about that, don't worry about that.

Just digs it and Instagram and YouTube. I'm still on Club House, but not as much. Yeah, so if you're looking for us on Club House, we're probably not there anymore. Just gonna let you know that. Oh, man, we drink a lot of Costa Rican rum. I love that stuff. Chrissy was at the bar, and she asked for like a rummink oak

and the guy put the bottle. He poured her rummink oak and he put the bottle on the bar as he went to go. It was busy. He didn't do another page. And Chrissy grabbed the bottle. It started drinking from it. I did it with my bottle.

It did. It was. It was. We paid for it. I raised you for 18 years. We did it together. we made it through life! The hardest part, we figured it out! And now your shitty little fucking tin can ass is up 700 feet off the ground with fucking

dental floss! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha doing laps around an invisible line. What are you thinking? If I was just kids mother, I'd be like, what are you thinking? Oh, I can think about the entire time I'm watching this. If Mike's son comes home, it's a dad, I'm gonna go highlighting in the grand canyon. I'm gonna be like, you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna go leg chaining in the bed in the basement.

That's what you're gonna do. That's a brand new sport. I'm gonna put leg chains on you. You're gonna see how many times you can walk back and forth with three feet. We're the slack. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yes, that's another girl's ring! Hi! Good morning to you, Sally.

How do you do? Fantastic. And, Chrissy, best see you. That's you, Brian. Thank you very much. It's another episode of the commercial break and I'll see you out there. Happy new year. Happy new year. And this is you, my fine-fethered friends,

getting a lot of positive reaction. Are we gonna start saying Merry Christmas in July? Kind of like a pre- No. Yeah. I think Target is the head and puts their stuff out there. No, that's just 3D akimas. Target does after after

Halloween I think is when it starts yet. I've now if you go to one of these like what's the place where all the religious nuts go to? Mike Michaels Hobby lobby Hobby lobby. That's it. Hobby lobby. Sorry, Michael's. I love you But listen I shop in Hobby lobby. I don't really particularly care what your religious preferences are doesn't make of Shits worth the difference to me. I'm just going there to get some shit ornaments half off Every you know, but they start putting their Christmas stuff up like I mean just right as summer terms So if you go to like October 1st and they have a whole Christmas section But that's when you get all the good deals. It's like 50% off all different types of

Retuned into the hobby lobby man. I might tune I do. You were tuned in the Baha'i lobby. Man, I'm I tuned into the Baha'i lobby. Let me tell you what. I stuck my dick in the electrical socket. I like when I walk into Baha'i lobby and it's got some, you know, we here serve the Lord and Jesus Christ above. We therefore know homosexual touching around the aisle number six or seven as well. Oh, right. Yes. Because that was a big problem.

Because nothing's good for business like, you know, xenophobia and homophobia. Good for you, Hobby Lobby, and your shitty, shitty beliefs. Just sharing that with you. Who cares? Who cares? Yes. Cares who you love.

Cares what color you are? Who you believe in? What does it matter? Yeah. You're all mad at Joe Schmo for believing in whatever Muhammad and meanwhile you're believing that some magic fly guy in the sky. This one's both like me and bolts down to kill everybody

when they do something wrong. Just doesn't make any sense. Stay in your own lane. Stay cell hobbies and lobbies. That's it. Cell hobbies and lobbies and leave the rest of us alone. That's all I gotta say. But you do have good stuff on sale for Christmas.

So yeah, it's like Chick-fil-A. I don't particularly love their politics, but I do love the Chick-fil-A sauce. They don't mean they're nuggets. So so good. I mean, cancel culture can only go so far. If you don't mind, if you don't mind me saying so myself. Speaking of, I've got an interesting question for you.

Okay. Why don't we all gonna stop fucking wearing masks if we're vaccinated? I thought the CDC said this was cool. Yeah, I've got an interesting question for you. Okay. Why don't we all gonna stop fucking wearing masks if we're vaccinated? I thought the CDC said this was cool. Yeah, I've seen signs up in stores that say it's okay. Yeah, I have not experienced the same thing. Now I'm seeing everybody like, here's the thing. I go into the passport place the other day

to go get to do some passport type business. Yeah. And I walk in and there's like maybe a hundred people in the room spread out in different various configurations, right? And we get in there, very nice lady greets us, and then we go and we take a number, of course, we're 700 numbers away.

You're right. And they're moving at a snail's pace. There's only like two people actually working at this place. Yes. And we sit down and some lady comes out for one of the two people who were working comes out with our mask down around her nose Right and then pulls it off like this and goes yo

If you walked through those two doors then you saw the sign that said mask week quiet Go put your mask on okay, and I was like and we didn't have our mask on and I was like And I Felt for a moment like I wanted to say something. Like I've been vaccinated. Like it's cool. If I believed in the science back then, I believe in the science now.

Right. This is the problem that we have in this country. Is that guys, what we got vaccinated, it's 99% affected. I know, I can't imagine that. I guess they just don't know if people are being truthful that they were vaccinated. Some people are saying. I can understand that concern.

I can understand that concern. But if I've been vaccinated, then maybe I should show my card or something, I don't know, but I got vaccinated. I feel like now it's time to take the mask off. Now, listen, if they tell me to go put my mask back on again because shit's going sideways, I'll put my mask back on. Yeah, there it is. But otherwise, I heard straight from this horse's ass.

I'm getting upset about it. I'm sorry. And then I see all these people wearing masks outside at the park and stuff and I'm like, guys, it was, you were never in danger of getting COVID. Out in the park. 1700 feet away from me. Right.

People running by me with masks on and I'm like, well, I park, 1,800 feet away from me. Right. People run and buy me with masks on, and I'm like, well, I like what? It's to the right. Just jump over to one person to the other. They wanna wear one wear. Yeah, listen, I'm not anti-mask. I'm saying, I'm telling you, if they tell me to put my mask back on,

because there is a legitimate concern, I will. But otherwise what they've said is, if you got vaccinated, don't worry about it. Yeah. And so that's what I'm doing. I'm like, I don't know, I wanna go in, I'm not in the store, that's not wearing a mask. Ha ha ha ha.

Is that okay? Yeah. Is that okay with everybody? She's tcbpodcast.com is where you go, you read more show notes, read more about Chris, you know, find all the show notes and you can watch our entire audio or video library. Right there, one place, no going anywhere else.

Don't you worry about it. We got you covered at TCP Podcast.com. For free. For free. For free, 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling. No obligation to buy. After you pay that 1999 shipping and handling, no shipping, no handling, no handling of the shipping,

no shipping of the handling, feel free to go there, TCP Podcast.com. All right now. And if you go there now and you jump over to our YouTube page and you make a comment on one of our episodes in the month of June, plus you're a subscriber or you do the same at the commercial break go to the $500 win $500 post Leave a comment about your favorite episode Tag a friend and follow us. You're entered into the drawing for

$500 and gold dot gift call We don't even have to go get the monies from the World Bank. We have, we have to pack no cash into no suitcase. We don't have to hire the FedEx's men. FedEx's men's. That's the problem.

There's little idiosyncrasies and like the English language that you learn to pick up on, right? Now, my wife is an immigrant. I am an immigrant of some form and fashion in some way, so I'm pleased don't take this the wrong way. But sometimes when people are writing, mainly the scamsters are writing you.

You can pick up on little idiosyncrasies about their language. Right. Like the FedEx is men's, are flying the planes. Hello, good dear sir. Right. Greetings of the planes. Hello, good dear sir. Greetings of the day. Yes, it is a great day of sun and love. Here in the great states of Indiana Jones. We'd like to inform you of your winnings. Oh, where are you located? The great states of Detroit's. Where they make many happy cars.

Many happy cars? What about the sad ones? Yes, sirs. And then you responded and they just ignore what you said. You go back and listen to the episode. I like to fuck with the email scammers and I went back and forth with one. And it is good.

But you can tell by his idiosyncrasies that English is not his predominant language or maybe there's a translator involved. That's possible too. Because there's a lot of S's on the ends of things, like FedExasMens. The FedExasMens is on their way to your house. But anyway, we don't have to pack any of,

and we don't have to get no cash from no FedEx's men's because we're gonna give you $500 in your gift card of choice. I prefer to do an Amazon, but listen, it's gonna be up to you if you happen to win, you do whatever. Go to at the commercial break on Instagram, look for the post about the $500 giveaway. Tell us what your favorite line is from your favorite episode, tag a friend, that's it. If you follow us, you're included. You can do the same thing on YouTube. There has been a lot

of communication back and forth from our friends and our fans and I'm just like through the roof. So we're gonna do a feedback day pretty soon here. So stay tuned. We're gonna do a feedback day. We'll share all of the comments and information that we got. You know, like most of the We're gonna do a feedback day pretty soon here. So stay tuned, we're gonna do a feedback day. We'll share all of the comments and information and we got, you know, like most of the commercial breaks long and sorted history, we have, we have a few great comments with a lot of, is that, is he supposed to be like, you know,

is go fuck yourself in that loving kind of way? Yeah, if he puts clappy hands, does that mean he really is firefire fire? And sometimes I can't tell like now that we say, you know, say your favorite line from the episode, and I can't tell if they're repeating me. Because I'm pretty sure I say go fuck yourself at least once in episode. So do that. And before July 7, before July, I think it's

fifth and then on July 7, we're going to on air announce who wins. And there's a lot of people already entered into the contest a lot of people communicating with us. Thank you so much Tell us about your favorite episode. Listen a guy guy last night at one o'clock in the morning one of our new favorite Fans I would say Gentlemen named William. I don't give away his last night But gentlemen named William email me like one o'clock in the morning with content ideas He's like, hey man if you like know, great episode about the sex doll, if you like sex dolls, check out this and, you know,

look at that and I was like, wow, thank you Will, because the hardest part of my job, if I'm being 100% honest, the hardest part of my job is making sure that I find something interesting to talk about every single time that we open up the microphone. And the amount of material that I have sitting on a hard drive somewhere that does not get used,

because it sounds interesting going in, but it ends up not being so interesting coming out is unbelievable. So if you have ideas, if you think of something you think would be great for the commercial break to talk about, or you would just like to hear Chrissy and I's opinion on it, or like to hear us laugh about it a video that's got good sound that we can use, whatever it is,

info at tcbpodcast.com or you can always DM us at the commercial break. For a couple of months there, we were giving you our clubhouse information so you could go follow us there, forget about that. Once again, another failed attempt to get it with the kids. Yeah, forget about that. Don't worry about that. Just stick to Instagram and YouTube. I'm still on Club House, but not as much. Yeah. So if you're looking for us on Club House, we're probably not there anymore. Just going to let you know that.

Hey, guys, it's our favorite part of the show. The part where we talk about sponsors and in all seriousness, these wonderful sponsors make the show free and frequent to you. Without these folks, we might have to charge you for the content. And let's all admit it. We already figured out how that went down. So do us a favor. If you're in the market for these products or services, please use the URLs and the discount codes that they give you. It gives you a discount. So you get free stuff and it lets our sponsors know that we're doing a good job. We really appreciate it.

Listen, I gotta tell you that today's show is sponsored in part by Hello Fresh. And I actually couldn't be more excited to talk about this because Astrid and I actually used the service. And we have on and off for many years when Astrid first came here, when we were engaged and she came over to the United States, we were doing a bunch of different stuff,

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On your phone, apostrophe.com slash commercial. apostrophe.com slash commercial. Use the code commercial Indiana Jones is coming out with Indiana Jones is number seven are we on number seven? Yeah, we're on number seven Harrison Ford back in action I saw the first very first picture if you're watching the YouTube YouTube dot com slash the commercial break I might put a picture of Harrison Ford back in the ultra famous leather jacket and for back in the ultra famous leather jacket and a dumpster hat with the whip and the khaki pants, you know, I don't know where he got

those from gap or something to look great on. But the guy is 90 fucking three years old. It's unbelievable how old that guy is. And he still looks like Indiana fucking Jones. Yeah, he does. Still looks like he's going to kick some ass. And he's like, he's a distinguished professor. He something in his in his spare time goes and finds the holy grail. Yeah, I think I think. I mean, who doesn't have that kind of time on that end?

Look at me, I'm looking for artifacts in my backyard too. Mainly dog poop to pick it up so that it'll fall in the pool. So, I'd say this picture being in a Jones, I think to myself, if there's one thing in life as a man who is rounding the corner, who is at the top of the bend, right? I'm like, if there's, just like a year away from a middle age crisis,

maybe this commercial break is my middle age. I think it's my middle age crisis, whatever it goes. It's your core fat. Yeah, it's my core fat. It doesn't go so fast and the engine ain't so great, but it's what I got, okay? Exactly. If there's one thing that I could wish for,

it would be to be like a Harrison Ford type that just gets better with age. I mean, just like sexier, better looking, more badass. He's more convincing now than he was as Han Solo in Star Wars. I'm not saying at 94, we haven't seen him at 94, act yet, but I'm saying like Indiana Jones number three or four, I was pretty convinced that Harrison Ford was Indiana Jones.

I didn't even think about his age. I was like, I think that I would, I'm just throwing it out here. I think I would like to hear tips from Harrison Ford versus Frankie. Oh yeah. I think Harrison should be giving the tip. I think Frankie is just chemically induced.

Like, you know, Frankie, what's the difference between Harrison Ford and Frankie? A lot. Bullshit, that's the difference between Harrison Ford and Frankie. Harrison Ford, if you've ever seen him in an interview, can barely utter a word. And when he says a word,

you're listening because it's pretty fucking cool. Frankie can't shut his fucking mouth 24 hours a day. But I just think this guy is such a bad guy. And now it's being reported that he's also doing some more of his own stunts. You know, in Indiana Jones, in all of these movies, he has done, he broke his fucking leg. He almost died on the set of that new Star Wars because he was doing his own stunts flying through doors and doing all this shit. And he almost died. Like he got both of his legs broken, I think.

But it was a pretty serious injury with the, you know, the carterized Zotar, he's a some bullshit. I know, he's a badass. He's a badass. Yes. So I love that Harrison Ford does all this. Now the big difference between me and Harrison Ford

is I'm not doing any of my own stunts. Like I'm pretty afraid of getting hurt. That's just my thing. Yeah. I'm a, are you, are you an adrenaline junkie, what you say? I am. I am. Yeah. So what's the most dangerous thing

that you've done? Oh God. Well we went, you and I actually went ziplining through Costa Rica. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline.

We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did go zipline. We did it was like a mile and a half long or something. It was so long, and I remember my stomach muscles were really hurting by the end from keeping your legs. Yeah, you know. You know. Next, follow them. My stomach moments were hurting from keeping the shit in my pants from falling all over the earth underneath me.

We're like 80 stories in the air. It was so high. Same. I am horrified of heights, but I manage to do it. I manage to get through it. I do remember being very scared of them and trying to hold it together. Like, I don't want to look on cool from the hold. So I'm just going to check it together.

You did a good job. I think I was probably like, let's go siphon. Yeah. And I was like, are we going to bring room? I'm sure I was just hung over enough to get there and be like okay, baby This is a weekend room in a Costa weekend room and all the other wonderful things that Costa Ricans had to offer Yes, oh man, did we drink a lot of Costa weekend room? Yeah, I love that stuff. Chrissy was at the bar And she asked for like a rum and coke and the guy put the bottle

He poured her rum and coke and he put the bottle on the bar as he went to go it It was busy. He tend to another patron and Chrissy grabbed the bottle and started drinking from it It was we paid for it After that he was like you can go to pay for that and I'm like I'll pay for it Just put it on my tab. He's like no, no the bottle you got to pay for the bottle I'm like it's Costa Rica you guys I'll pay for it. Just put it on my tab. He's like, no, no, the bottle. You got to pay for the bottle. You got to get that concerted. Oh, that's a fun trip. And I'm like, it's Costa Rica. You guys have with literally there's a monkey shitting out that's outside of the door.

You have stray dogs in here eating food. You're worried about Chrissy Hull these wet. What? That was fun, though. And I met somebody that I knew from or that my family knew from Austin. That was one guy that had lived in Austin. I think he even still communicates on Facebook every once in a while. That's creepy. Ha ha ha.

We didn't do the zip lining. Yeah. I think the most dangerous thing that I've ever done, I mean, like truly dangerous thing I've ever done is skydived, right? A skydived. Do you call it skydived or skydived? It's skydiving.

It's skydiving. But I mean, you skydiving is the action of skydiving. Oh, fuck. No, you're out of mind. Have you seen that video of that one guy was like hanging onto the thing? Well, there's always gonna be one little thing. Yeah, there's always gonna be one little thing,

but if you don't do it, then you don't worry about that one little thing. You did a pilot, you flew a plane. Yeah, but it was in control of the plane. I felt dying. I don't know. I don't know. I can't know, I can't explain. Why I feel so scared of being in a fucking tall building or on top of a roof or on a high ladder,

but then flying a plane is just Yankee Doodle-Nandy. I don't give a shit. I mean, I'm still scared. Don't get me wrong. It's been on a plane before and you're kind of used to the feeling and whatever. You know, when you're in the back of a 747, it's like a flying house, right?

You're in a house and everyone's comfortable. You know, when you're in the used to the feeling. Yeah. I don't know. You know, when you're in the back of a 747, it's like a flying house, right? You're in a house and everyone's comfortable and you're watching TV and they're bringing around drinks and cookies and cocktails. Like, there's not, there's not, I don't know. It's something about the environment seems very safe to me. It does. If you can fall asleep somewhere, it's unlikely you're in much danger, right?

You can't fall asleep when you're flying a plane. Yeah. And especially not too cedar. But so in this, in this, in the vein of what we're talking about, I have found a new show on the TLC Discovery Network. I feel like I should be a, I feel like TLC you should be buying airtimes with me because whether I like the show or don't like the show, I sure do give you a lot of free press. Just saying. You got me hooked on that sister. All 16 of our listeners are probably tuned, highly tuned into this.

Seeking sister wife, just a fantastic show. You got me hooked on that. But I'm all out of Seeking sister wives. I'm all out of my 600 pound life. I'm all out of 90 day fiance, I'm all out of my little people, and you know, my tiny people, and my small people, and my small family, I just love all those, I just love all those shows.

And all those people. I just think there's, I don't know, something about the lifestyle reality show, not the lifestyle reality shows, but like the personal blog type reality shows, really is very interesting to me. I don't know why, maybe it's because I like seeing people live their lives in a non-extraordinary dramatic way, like say.

Like non-house wives. Yeah, non-house, yeah, that's correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Non-glamour house. Housewives is a bunch of horseshit to me. No offense, Andy. Andy Colin, him and I are good friends. No offense, Andy.

I like what you're doing over there. It's for somebody else, not for me. Yes. So I'm flipping through the app and I see something that interests me because I've seen it before out in my local park. You know these guys that they tie a line from one tree to the other, kind of looks like a bungee cord,

but it's like the width of a belt, right? And you see it a lot at the fish shows or the widespread shows. I like it, it's like a hippie, the flying waleskas, but the hippie version, meaning they're only a foot off the ground because they're too high and they fall off. I mean, it's like a slack line.

It's like a slack line. Yeah, they call it a slack line. And what it is, it's a very... I saw somebody doing this in my neighborhood, putting that up, I didn't know what he was doing. So now you're... It's called a slack line. Okay.

Is the term for it when it's close to the ground. Okay. And that's mostly what most of these kids are doing, they're getting high and they're going on the slackline. It's like this generation's hacky sack. Let's put it that way, right? But instead of getting a hang-down, you can break a lot.

You just bounce, you walk across it back and forth, it's a balanced thing and then you bounce and you can put it up a little higher maybe four or five feet and you can flip and bounce back on it. You can sit on it balanced thing and then you bounce and you can, you can put it up a little higher, maybe four or five feet and you can like flip and bounce back on it. You can sit on it and bounce and then flip up and then stand, end up standing and then you can go down and up and it's like a trampoline almost, but you have to land on this one inch little string and make it all work, right? When you're four or five feet off the ground or even two feet off the ground, the worst that's going to happen is you're going to break

it on our, or like, I mean, I guess you could get some, you know, fall on your head and serious, but there's no real danger. Right. I don't consider it necessary. First of all, God bless you. That kind of balance really impresses me. Yeah.

I have a hard time balancing my coffee cup in the morning. I have a hard time balancing on my wife when we're making love. Good for you. But I don't consider a sort of sport. Doesn't look to me like to be a sport. There's nothing competitive about it, right? It's like you against the line.

I don't know if the line's usually always winning because it stays there and you might fall. I don't know. But they're calling it a sport now. Okay, I'm gonna run with that. I'm gonna go with you on the sport part of it. Okay. Slackliners, a number of years ago,

then decided they were gonna take it a step further. Okay. If we're gonna go one foot or two foot or five foot off the ground, why don't we go 700 feet off the ground? Right. Because that sounds like a fucking moronic thing to do. The fuck?

So what they do is they take this little belt like bungee cord and they string it from one end of a canyon to the other. 809,00, a thousand feet in the air. That is a hundred story building for those of you keeping count. It's incredibly high in the air. I mean, to me, after you get about five feet, it doesn't matter if you're a thousand feet or it's a hundred feet, two feet, seven feet, doesn't matter. It's all scary, right? You? You might as well be 5,000 feet up in the air because it's all scary. But they string it across. A 75 miles long, however long it is.

And then these guys decide that they're going to go walking across the slackline, back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. I would not do that. But the only thing that's holding them up is the slackline, some stoners version of a nail in the ground on the other side, and a piece of twine attached to a harness.

So when they fall, they fall like 10 feet down, this very bouncy and long line, and then they have to climb themselves back up and stand back up again. Whoa. 800 feet in the air. Whoa. Are they doing this over building?

Ah, no. Are this is like mountain? No, they're doing it worse. Are they doing this over building? Ah, no. Are this is like mountain? No, they're doing it worse. If it was over a building, I could think that maybe somebody would catch me if I fell. You know, like those firefighter heroes, those guys you see on the street

that catch the babies falling out of the fiery windows. Yes. No, this is like, yeah, you just fall down in the canyon or on the rocks or in the woods or whatever it is. Oh, Lord. They do it in all different kind of places. They do it in snow, they do it in rain,

they do it in wind, they do it in whatever. It takes balls of steel to do this kind of shit. I'm not saying it doesn't. Take balls of steel to do this kind of shit. But a sport I don't know may not be a sport. And as far as I'm concerned. Do you just win if you don't die? I think that's how it die? I think that's our

work. I think that's the challenge is if I come home to my mom, then I've essentially accomplished something. The things that we're calling sports these days are unbelievable. tying a string across a canyon is an impressive feat. walking across it is an impressive feat. But what is exactly what's comp what is exactly competitive about that? Do you want to hear about these guys? Yes.

You want to hear a little bit about these guys? Yes. Hold on. I didn't, I didn't cut much up out of here because, be quite frank, just a couple things. Number one, they're all kind of stoner types, right? You know, they're like adventurous sports secrets. So they're,

I did. Let him up there on the lines like a meditating, a one with yours. Yes. You gotta have rocks in your head. I'll be doing this. I swear to God. You know, when some people say that,

you know, I can't believe you're up there doing that. I say, I can't believe you're down there and in that, going to work every day, feeding your children, trying to make three rent payments on time in a row I'm of you Forget it one with nature for getting about everything getting evicted from my third apartment Chai trying to naturally clear my climidia

Trying to naturally clear my climidia from the last day to air. From the last great financial I went to. No, they have balls. I give them that. Yes. But I mean, you know, the way that they talk about real life is like, wait, have you ever been in real life? Have you ever done anything real life? Okay, just take a listen to this is just the beginning of the show.

Okay. Okay. Okay. This is Highline. The coolest board that you've never heard of. People from all around the world. Walking across lines, spinners and misspelled. There's nothing below you but the void. You have left me earth and you're in the sky. My mom would not be sleeping at night if she knew everything I do.

That's true. I know what will happen if I fall off and die and I accept that. sleeping at night, or she knew everything I do. That's true. Yeah. I know what will happen if I fall off and die, and I accept that. I'd rather live every moment like it's my last. I might die today. Not so good. This is going to have a good time doing that.

Am I done today? That's obviously how dead children. That's cool. No, of course, these could be children, please. No, you know what? Thank God they don't have any children. That's all I gotta say. If you had children, you would never be doing this.

Never be doing this. You know what takes balls of steel? Feeding your children on one paycheck. That's what takes balls of steel. You know what takes balls of steel? Make you sure that they stay alive. That's right. So of course, of the afternoon, that's what takes balls.

You know what takes balls of steel? Waking up and changing a diaper on a changing table, after you've had 16 seconds of sleep and making sure your baby doesn't fall off. That's the thing, it's balls of steel. That's a balancing act. Yeah, yeah, that's correct. You know, it doesn't take, but it's balls of steel.

You have a different version of balls of steel than I do. Though I'll give it to you, your balls of steel are a lot cooler than mine is. I hate this guy. If my mom knew what I did when I came home. She would totally be forget Meanwhile his mom is like no I raised you for 18 years. We did it together. We made it through life the hardest part We figured it out and now your shitty little fucking didn't can't ask is up 700 feet off the ground with fucking dental floss

Doing laps around an invisible line What are you thinking if I was this kid's mother? I'd be like what are you thinking? Oh, I could think about the entire time I'm watching this. This is if Mike's son comes home and says, Dad, I'm gonna go highlighting in the Grand Canyon. I'm gonna be like, you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna go leg chaining in the bed in the basement. That's what you're gonna do. That's a brand new sport.

I'm gonna put leg chains on you. You're gonna see how many times you can walk back and forth with three feet, where the slack break that world record. Yes, I would go ahead and start introducing that sport to him now. Just go ahead and give me a suit. One or two things either.

He's already kind of doing a version of that. One or two things either. I'm going to do this leg slacking, whatever you call it. Leg chaining. Number one, or I'm going to start doing the strip clubbing. I'm going to be like, hey, wait, before you go to Colorado,

let's go to this strip club. That's right. And with me, I'm gonna be like, hey, Mia, guess what? I got a brand new American Express, honey. Before you go to Colorado, I want to make sure you have everything you need. I want you to take this to wherever it is you're gonna go to Colorado, I want to make sure you have everything you need. I want you to take this to wherever it is you're going to go to. And son, you take those dollar bills over to flash tats or flash tats or you know,

Johnny's junk in the trunk or whatever it is you're into son. Once you go there, you're not going to Colorado to go slacklining 800 feet in the air. After I manage to get you through your childhood alive and safe No fucking way If this works today it will be magnificently fine and if it doesn't I Don't have any life insurance money, I'm sorry. The head guy here is like 37 years old

and he's like, they call him the granddaddy. Yeah. With that age of you haven't died. You are granddad. There's some reason why the granddad meets because he's the first one not to die. He's the first fighter to reach the age of 73 or 37. We call 35 the line of demarcation.

We put it much throw off the high line if you make it that far. We're like, ooh. Keep on going. You can't get better than this. This is pinnacle high line. This is pinnacle high line, man. You can't get more dead than this.

If you fall off this line, there's no way. You are gonna, I actually have never seen anybody more dead than I've seen at this particular highlight. That's right. There's a difference between falling 600 feet and 800 feet. The splat pattern is unbelievable. You can actually identify the body at 600,

but at 800 it's its own different animal. Bro. Bro. I'm back here reading the foreign agreements. But I can't make it past the first. Because another one of my friends passed away. It's a big wine, dude. Huge wine.

Yeah. Huge wine. I should have the radish shit from around the planet. The radish shit from around the planet. I wish I could have, I wish I could have even claim, you know, the commercial break, the radish podcast around the planet. Like saying that. I know.

I want to have one of these guys on. That's our new tagline actually Next time you see an ad for the commercial break is gonna be the commercial day the rad is podcast around the plan This port is not just about walking online It's actually about surviving walking online the second part to that thing I got a mentor once he's dead now He died a long time ago. But you know what he used to say? He used to say this highlighting is all about walking across line. But then

I figured out he actually missed the other half of it from his mentor who also died at 22 years old, which was it's about making it to the other side. It's surviving. Correct. Unbelieveable. Surviving highlights. It's funny howieveable. Surviving Highline. It's funny how one half a sentence can change your life. Okay, you're ready to go, Brian. We're gonna jump out of the plane for your first guy diving experience.

Okay, when I say go, you jump. Okay, jump, that's it, just jump. Go. Go. Oh, shit, that's it, just jump. Go. Go. Go. Oh, shit, the other half of the sentence was pulled alive. What do I do, a giant jump? How did the other half of the sentence?

Right. It's about living life to the fullest. Oh. Burying up better than a woman's pants suit. Right. It's about living life to the fullest. Oh! Baring up better than a woman's pants suit. I feel like we're all the most stoked to just be here with one another. But we definitely have our disagreements. We don't know, huh? We definitely have our disagreements.

Yeah, they're teaching me, forgot to tie my, forgot to tie my boyfriend. What? Arn is all the way and he's not here anymore. But that's it. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing. There's no room for arguing. There's no room for arguing.

There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing. There's no room for arguing here.

There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. There's no room for arguing here. For jokes we put Monsana cooking oil in his and his slackline artists If he falls he's gonna slip right out We're all just stoked to be here, honestly

The great news is the cops don't come after you think just go out you're an idiot Don't worry about murder here. Just follow Don't worry about murder here, just fuck it. Don't worry about it. The cops came and they were like, eh. Pick them up and bring them home if you don't mind. Pick up what's left of them and bring them home if you don't mind. I shouldn't joke. There's lots of people that die doing this, by the way.

I sure. Yes, there's lots of people that die doing this. Is your bitching at me the whole time? Oh shit, your cornflakes this morning, bud. But come back with a better attitude. We need this to just stop. We might battle each other, but always have the back of everybody else on the team.

Yeah! Is that the granddaddy? That's the granddaddy, the granddaddy. He's got a very wide. He's very wide. At the age of 31, you're the other's back. We always got each other's back. Exactly.

We really slipped through my hands. Except when you sleep with my wife. I forgot the other half of that sentence. We got to talk in full sentences here. Okay, guys, no more talking in half sentences. It's killed a lot of people here. So we're just going to go in the whole sentences. If you could, good, speak the first half done the second half.

The thing about these guys is, okay, so I went into this and I saw this first five minutes, I'll play the rest of it. I went into this and I'm like, this is the most obnoxiously vapid, platytonic bullshit I've ever heard my entire life. Well, man, our disagreements, put our DNA into the day, we got each other's backs

because that's how high linliners run, right? And then, you know, you look at me and think, I'm crazy and I look at you and go, what do you do, dude? And I was like, this is such fucking, you know, of course, shit, right? These guys just, they have no idea of what it takes to be, like responsible grown humans, or they wouldn't be doing this to their family and friends.

Like getting up there and doing ridiculously dangerous things for absolutely no fucking reason. Not that I have anything against it, I'm just thinking to myself, like you're on camera saying this stuff, you realize that there's probably lots of friends and family members who are looking at you like you fucking moron. I love you. Please don't go walk yet another row or jump off. The thing is, they don't just do the highlighting in this series, they do rope swinging, 900 feet near that they rig themselves, like there's no checks, there's no safety.

It's just these guys we're gonna them themselves. And great, there was a hierarchy and some kind of like they're taking care of each other. So at first I was like, this is gonna be the most vapid thing that I've ever watched. I have to watch this for the show so I can just make fun of it.

But as it goes on, you start to understand that there is some kind of love and respect, a brotherhood going on here. They are looking out for each other. They don't want to die. Most of them don't have a death wish. They just like to do this. And that's something, I still think it's fucking moronic

to get up there and walk across a line in 9,000 feet in the air. But that's just my personal opinion. And so I ended up getting involved in the fine show like I always do. I always wanna hate it and then I'm like, well, I guess this is good too. I guess I'll watch this also. Oh, yeah.

Ultimately, we all live a dangerous life. He says that like he had a choice in the matter. Like there's no choice in the matter. Ultimately, we're all born into this incredibly dangerous life of highlighting. My mom was rolling me out there in age two. She said, son, if you can make it over there, you can have another bottle.

If you can't, I don't know. You're probably going to die. I said, it just crawling a little ass over there. I forgot. God, God, Google. God, God, Google, don't forget to make it to the other side. That was the other half of the sentence your dad didn't tell me he's not dead.

Ha, ha, ha. Your father was a great guy. He's on the bottom of the canyon floor. Snow one pretty hard right now. I don't care about this, though. Let's go. Let's's pretty hard right now. I don't care about the snow, let's go. Let's two-sleep the walk off. Accidents happen.

It is scary to date somebody that high-lines. There's always a chance you're not going to see them come back. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Maybe we shouldn't have gone out in the snow. Yeah, sorry. But we got a 10- have gone out in the snow. Sorry, we got a, we got a 10 episode deal with this summary. So sorry about your boyfriend. Do you think you can make it through another couple episodes? We just wheel his bones around. Bernie style. Yeah, Bernie style. We can do it. gist of it. These guys, and they were talking about holding world records in the US record,

and the US West record and the US East record. I'm like, this fucking shit that people think of. Now I realize all sports started off like this, right? And golf, they were just like a stick hitting a rock around it. And now, you know, people get paid hundreds of millions of dollars to go out. They're not in need of dying. That's true.

Well, they aren't, but there's lots of sports where you are. I mean, footballs are one of them. Yeah, there's a parachute. I don't even know. Is parachute a sport? I guess that it is. You know, they now they have like competitive, like, plane racing and all this other stuff.

I've been thinking about sport as what would be in the Olympics. Yes, something that actually there are two people competed at the same time, but Chris, yeah, I want you to know that pretty soon, highlighting will be in the Olympics. I'm going to I'm almost guaranteeing it. If I can, if I can survive long enough to the next Olympics, I will be in it. I've actually thought of a couple of sports that I'd like to share with you.

Okay. I'm gonna take a zipline. I'm gonna tie it to my legs. I'm gonna tie one end to the chimney and then I'm gonna jump down the chimney. I call it chimney sweeping. Or chimney chaining, depending on which way you're going. You go up or down, you can climb up

or you can go down. If you see the person who can do it the most amount of time is about getting black lung. He will. He will. That's okay. That's when you can do it at home. You can do it at home.

Pretty much. This is how these sports start. So you don't see anything. I mean, you can go ahead and jump off my roof into the pool. Okay. They will call it a pool roofing. You know what I'm saying? Roof pooling. You can go ahead and jump off my roof into the pool. They will call it a pool roofing. You know what I'm saying? Roof pooling.

Highline is not a particularly creative name. We'll just take it as it stands. What about lawnmower launching? Have you heard of this one? We take one end of the entire to the rotary of the lawnmower and then we take the other one and I die it to one of my arms and then I launch it off the off ramp on an interstate. And then we send it down into traffic and basically however many lanes you can you can merge into without that. That's not the pinnacle of law and I pretty much hold the

Granddaddy record I am the granddaddy of law and more launching 22 There's only seven of us to play this sport Four of us are missing a few abandoned. It's what it's okay. If you lose an arm We can start tying it to the leg. It's part of the that's part of which you were born into That's right. I there's a new sport that's all the rage in down in Guatemala. It's called wheel-welling. And I don't know if you know about this. It's when you cut the wheel open of a 747. And then you stuff yourself in there.

And then you take off with the plane. And when you reach cruising altitude of 52,000 feet, you're unleashed it and then you jump. Jump out. That's right. With a pillowcase Wow, yeah, I My friend Jason held the world the world record South for that one

That's right until the landing gear got stuck And he was just a flabbing in the wind Unfortunately part is his pants flew off and he landed, it was the whole thing. It was part of the trial. The only thing they could identify at the funeral was his penis. But he had a pretty big penis. So everyone was like, yeah, that's Jason.

Ah. I don't know, you heard a pole pounding. Have you heard of this one? I have not. You've seen pole vaulting. Yes. It's a pretty comfortable word, everyone's playing. That's an Olympic.

But that's so 1962. In the year 2022, what we're hoping to do with the Olympics is get poll pounding in there. What happens is, you run down and then you use your arm strength to get up to get over the vault, right? You've vaulted yourself over that little sticky thing. I don't even know what to call it. It doesn't matter. We don't care. what to call it, it doesn't matter.

We don't care, we're not here for naming conventions, we're here for adrenaline. Yeah. So what we do is we actually put the pole in our mouth and we run down. We pull both ourselves with our mouth. Oh God. It's incredibly painful.

But you've never had so much adrenaline in your life. It's so refreshing. Okay. Unbelievable. Some good ones. Unbelievable. Those of us who have no real teeth do really well in that world. Right.

Exactly. It's the people who give me these things. I think it's in the way. They're in for a wild wake-up call. You're going to lose them. Just mind your mouth. Take them out yourself. Spoiler alert. That's right. Let's get higher. Some white conge. Let's knock on our teeth.

Poe pounding. Love that one. Love that one. Additionally, you can do that with your reinies, but that's a... Oh. That's not allowed in 67 of the 86 countries that participate. And that big for one reason or another NBC will not show that live on camera. Yeah, I can imagine why. Because they're all they're fucking bunch of suits. Don't understand. Gen Z. They don't understand. We're going to do some unrequited highlighting over the Olympics. Nadia. It's just gonna. Are we going to broadcast live from the Olympics this year? Of course we are. We did that one year. 2006. 2008. Beijing. 2008. Beijing. 2008. I remember thinking

to myself, wow. This China has got their shit together. We might have to pull that out from the vault. Oh my god. That's awesome. We do have some recording live from Beijing. I want a light bulb lining is what I'm going to do. It's where you know the electrical lines, the big power ones, come from the substation. I actually want to, I'm going to walk across those lines just like I do with my high lining.

Right? Yeah. And then I'm going to hold as lines, just like I do with my high line, right? Yeah. And then I'm gonna hold as many light bulbs as I can. And however many we keep on for as long as we can keep them on, as I'm walking across the line, is the world record north, south, east, or west. Oh, wow. I just wanted you to know that. Okay, that sounds like a good one. Well, I'm glad you're into it, Chrissy.

I'm glad you're into it. Would you like to try any of these sports? No, I'll watch you. You like to play those people? Those people down there. And by down there, I mean, not up on the highlight. It's not colloquial. I'm just really am pointing down there.

You're actually out there. Oh, sorry. It's okay. We usually shed about six out of 10 every four to six months. That's okay. We usually shed about six out of 10 every four to six months. That's okay. It's just part of, it's just part of, you know. Are that lifestyle? Branding a new sport.

I mean, you know, it happened in golf, it happened in baseball, sure. I don't know, when did golf start 1972 or something like that? No. My dad, I think my dad is part of the first... Earlier, isn't it? Yeah, my dad told the story about a guy who died, a lightning strike on the golf course.

It's pretty much the same thing. Yeah. Anytime a new sport comes, yes. When you learn your ABCs, people die, it just happens. It just happens, and I look at other people, and I go, well, you learned, you died with learning your ABCs. Right. And I died making a plastic bag wing suit

Telling you what they don't make plastic bags like they used to Well, all right gotta go practice Gotta go practice bungee jumping. Right, bra. All right, bra. See you later. Good practice, jumpy jump, bungee jumping off the back of my car. We call it horizontal bungee jumping. I can take off in the car and see if you float up. Yeah, that's exactly what happens.

I sit in a chair, I sit in a chair. At the starting point, you go as fast as you can. Right. And when the bungee jumps snap, when the bungee snaps, I conflate to a tucker. Woo! Did you make it over the car? That's when you win.

That's right. It's all about getting heads, all about the height. So you got to position yourself at first. It's about aerodynamic. Woo! What if you were driving in the car? Look at Brian. There he goes. He's getting ahead of the car.

He's practicing again. He's the Wisconsin State Record holder. And if there was record holder, who's keeping these records is what I want to know. I mean, I don't know. Anyway, if it's just a couple of you, yeah, the community. Whichever ones are alive. Right. Yeah.

I am, by the way, that's a tree. That's a tree, right? That's a tree. And it's probably people have survived. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that's right. There's a tree where he's right. That's right. And it probably people have survived. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, record tree. I'm made it across again the only 800 dial-in in the desert. I'm the only one left. 69 I'm a started one of us left. Guess I'm time to have some children. Right. Yeah. PBS documentary Ken Burns presents. I live in the record tree The record trees were we keep all the stupid sport records. That's right Jetwheeling Seven men stuffed themselves into a 747 jet

Only one survived the Only one survived. The centrifugal force alone. They called him skinny piece. It was his weight that helped. I don't remember what happened. I passed that halfway down the runway. But landing was pretty cool. It was awesome.

Oh my God. So stupid. Wow. Discovery. Discovery never fails. Discovery never fails us, Chrissy. If you ever, if you ever board and at home and you're alone and you're like, you know what, what am I going to do today? How am I going to get through the rest of this day?

You know what you do? You turn on Discovery. That's what you do. Turn on Discovery, start flipping through. Or TLC. Yeah. Or both of them at the same time. Right, have one. I went on my phone.

One going on the show. I like to have season one of the little people going and then the seven little Johnston's over here. I'll just keep moving back and forth. Would love to have any of those people on the show. I would actually fanboy a little bit. I think about seven little Johnson's. I love them.

I love them. I don't know why. I have a team of it. It's such a real show, too. Like, the family's getting an argument, and they're showing it all on TV. It's so real. I love it.

OK. Anyway, tcppodcast.com is where you go. You can read more about Chrissy and I find all the show notes and watch our entire video and audio library. Ooooooo, I like that from one place. Everything, don't worry about it. You know what's going anywhere else?

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You got to do all three. Yeah, you got to keep reminding people. But that's okay, I understand. I also don't pay attention to lots of things in the world. So I'm not going to get all upset with you. I don't want to thank all of the people who've been reaching out and writing us and text messaging us and sending us emails

and content ideas. Thank you, William. We love you. Thank you to my friend who wrote about the sex doll. I wouldn't give his name out. But we'll talk more about that next week. I want to share with you about some of the comments about our sex doll episode.

It's got a lot of good feedback. It's got a lot of great feedback and some people who know about sex dolls. Yes. They know about it. They've used them. They've seen them. They love them good feedback. It's got a lot of great feedback and some people who know about Sextals. Yes. They know about it. They've used them. They've seen them. They love them.

And while I tried to get them on air, I understand they're a little shy about coming on air. I do want to share some of the feedback we got. We'll do that all next week in a feedback episode. So that's it. What else do I got? Oh. What else?

I think that's it. OK, so until next time, all I got to say to you is... Love you. Best of you. Best of you. I love you. Alright. And best of you.

Byeee! YouTube.com. Slast the commercial brick. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Hodley with additional content provided by Tina Kano. you you