The Commercial Break - The Trouble With Sugar Mamas

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

Bryan & Krissy get back to their roots to discuss Marlon and his *former* Sugar Mama, strip clubs, and Pete Davidson. Marlon's Sugar Mama is no more Dating an older person does have its benefits...those walkers are great for fucking! Break up jealousy is real! Bryan still loves Jason Momoa, even if he were banging Bryan's ex. Bryan was once down so bad that he took Krissy’s car in the middle of Bonnaroo to go see a girl he wasn't even dating He missed half of Radiohead and didn't even get laid! Krissy’s parents have been married three times…to each other The most expensive thing in a strip club is hope, of course! Pete Davidson reigns supreme again Now he's onto Ice Spice Bryan & Krissy revisit Theresa Caputo Is Pete Davidson the Warren Beatty of our time or the new Carrot Top? TCB's got a new game show idea: Sexes of the Exes! For the full Marlon history, check out these episodes: 168: That Is One Cheap Wiener Wagon 183: The Crowd Goes WILD! 185: Nodes, Needs, and Dial-A-Dates! 265: Heart Wants What The Heart Wants 273: It's Just Me, Loving On ME! 287: Fishing For Marlin! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After the break, we're going to interview Eric Wyhenmayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he's gay. I mean, he's gay, excuse me, he's blind. So we'll hear about that. On this episode of The Commercial Break, I said listen, you know what the best time to go out, look for a new girlfriend, look for a new hook up is, right after you get dumped. That's the best time. Women smell the desperation on you.

As someone's like, they're looking for a puppy dog to take in. You know what I'm saying? You're at your most vulnerable, go out there, you have a few tears in your beer, and someone's going to approach you and say, hey bro, what's wrong with you? You could say, my 90 year old girlfriend just broke up with me. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The 30th of the morning! Listen here, Kaz and Kins, it's another episode of the commercial break. See, a fast tail, Chris. Batsy Brian.

Batsy, you are there in the bud, Kaz, you're the universe. How the hell are you? Chrisy. Brian. How do you feel? He's been a long time since you've had an X Yeah, but how do you feel when you inevitably come across a Instagram or social media TikTok whatever of your axis and

They're just doing swimming like they're Rolling high. I say good for them best to you. I say play it again. See? Before I give you a knuckle sandwich I say best of you. You don't feel any an- any Ammaris toward them or you don't feel any animosity toward them? No. No. No. Never have. No. Kind of girl shuts the door, lovingly.

What I've done, I'm done, I'm done. Oh my god. She's a fast girl with a cold heart. Gotta watch out for this one. What I'm done, I'm done. Close it all. And good for them. Fuck them. I mean, depends on how fresh it is, right? You're out.

It depends on how fresh it is. And that's day after you break up and there was someone, then that's not good. But. It can certainly stir emotions. We've all been there. You're getting a relationship. You get a little tangled up emotionally, which I try not to do as a psychopath.

I try not to do that too much. You get tangled up all emotionally with somebody and then you see them inevitably they're doing well because that's what they post on social media because they're gonna make you angry. They know you're the best. They know you're the best. Only the best, because that's right.

You get on that social media and all of a sudden your ex-girlfriends date and fucking, you know, Pete Davidson, whizzin' around the world in a private jet and you're like, fuck man, guess I'll drink another butt light.

Yeah, exactly. Pay my rent tomorrow. Okay. I'll pay my rent on the 17th this month fine. I, there's a couple of things make me ask this question. The breakup of Marlon and his older lady friend and some updated information that I got. For those of you new to the commercial break, Marlon is not his real name, but he's from Florida. He's from Florida. And Brian named him Marlin at the fish.

Yes, I did. Because you know, originality counts. They look there. See, it's a Marlin. He's walking on land. He's Daytona, ladies 2020 23 is crazy He for those of you that don't know new to the show Marlon is a friend of mine Been a long time friend of mine. He was single and he was out on the dating scene and he was just having the shittiest fucking luck Dating any but he had one girl. He had many people ghost him, but he had one girl that actually met him for a first date with her family And her yeah her whole family and her friends. I think it was like mom, couple sisters and then a friend.

So, uncomfortably, he just kind of moved through the day. And they, they left, they skipped out. That's what happened, yeah. So, he kind of moved through the date uncomfortably and they each got up to go to the bathroom, you know, like the girls do. You know, we're going to go powder our noses, we'll be right back and they left. They never came back. The restaurant manager felt so bad for me.

Took off the appetizers. Marlon ends up paying like $400 for a meal. He never heard from this person again, which he was just having all kind of trouble. So he has a, almost on a lark, he decided he was gonna join something called, what was it called? Sugar Mama. Sugar Mama.

Sugar baby. Sugar baby. Sugar girls and then yeah. Some kind of website. Sugar Mama? Sugar, sugar Mama. Sugar baby. Sugar girls. And then yeah. Some kind of website. Sugar Mama's in this is where? Sugar Mama's and so he joins this website and then he starts getting text messages or messages, messages from this lady, a much older lady and right from the get. She's like super, honestly, pushy assertive is probably the best word. She knows what she wants. She knows exactly what she wants.

And if you don't have it, she'll give it to you so you can give it to her. You know what I'm saying? She sent the Porsche. She sent a Porsche to his house so that he could pick her up in the appropriate style she was accustomed to. She literally sent a guy in a Porsche, dropped the Porsche off, had him sign some paperwork,

and then he took the Porsche for the day, picked her up. Anyway, this whole thing ended up in a long string of... Well, so they had their first date, and then that's when the woman said, hey, if we continue and keep going until the 10th was at the 10th. She said, if you... This is our first date. If you make it to the 10th date, because not many of the guys that I meet on this site do, if you make it to the 10th date,

that 10th date is going to be in Italy. In Venice. She's going to take him to Venice on an all expenses paid, holy shit vacation. And that happened, maybe not on the 10th date. I think it was more like the 15th, but it happened, they went, they went to a swingers resort down at Jamaica.

They did a lot of crazy stuff, and the whole get here was that this woman was about 35 years, his senior, 30 years, his senior. And you would say he was what in his 40s? 30s. Late 30s. Late 30s. And so she was in her late 60s, I think,

I think if I'm getting the numbers right.'m getting the numbers right, we actually probably not, probably not because that's just how it goes here. The commercial, the Mike News or fiction guarantee five seconds or less. I didn't even think we made a five seconds on this one. He had a couple of issues with the relationship. As did she, just to be fair, but he had a couple of issues with the relationship.

And one was that she was 60 in her late 60s. So it wasn't the kind of physical form he was used to dating, but he got over that kind of. The second one was that she was so assertive that this traveled into the bedroom and she would demand, demand that he do things in the bedroom for like extended periods of time and a certain way. A certain way. So she would say, go down on me, but you go down on me and you lick to the left and then you lick to the right

and then you swirl two times and you go back to the left. She was giving him directions like the entire time that they were making babies. But switch, you know. Hey, it sounds, tell them what you want. Did we ever knock it? We never want to knock that. We never knocked that part.

We never knocked that part. We knocked it that part. We never knocked that part. We knocked it everything else. We never knocked that part. If that's what you want, bed, say it. Say it, say it, say it loud and proud. Communicate. Yeah. He felt very enasculated by this whole thing.

He was a younger guy. He didn't do too bad with the ladies until they started ghosting about the actual restaurant table. He's a relatively handsome guy and he's in this relationship and there's an obvious quid pro quo going on here at first at least, but I actually think they're,

they caught some feelings for each other. They caught feelings for each other. And about two or three weeks ago, he lets me know that they broke up because they're on month number nine and Chrissy and I assumed it's like kind of like the seven year itch. Well, it's like the six month mark is going to, you know, to where if you are going to make it, you're going to give it a go. After six months, you might.

That's right. Nine months then also too, if you're not really living together, you're seeing each other on a super like every night, you know. Yeah. I never understood those people who get to the year mark. And they're still like, oh, they're still like casually seeing each other once or twice a week. My twin brother is like that. And I'm like, what the fuck do I do do that? For me, it's like, infrapenian for a pound, right? If I'm with you, I'm with you.

Yeah, you love bombing people. Do you love bomb people? No, I don't love bomb people, but I've been loved bomb Do you love to love bomb? Do you love being loved bombed? Oh, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, it's fun Except with it. Yeah, because you know the restraining orders coming eventually, so why not have fun with it now? So yeah, so I agree with you like you get to the six month nine month mark and eat things are either turning serious or People are kind of like We gave that a try.

It didn't work out. I also think that's usually when the first fart comes around or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Like the first, or it's not all, you know, beautifulness and, say, your best foot, brain bow and roses. Not your best foot forward, maybe, all the time. You get a little bit, yeah, you get some Brian ass in the mix. You know what I'm saying?

You got ball air. It's swooshed in ball air, that way. You can bottle that. I've been bottling it for years. No one's buying it from me. Just a taste, I need just a taste. So I totally get where he's coming from. Reality starts to set in.

It's not all trips to Jamaica and flying on private planes. It's the reality of living also or being around a much older person that you're romantically involved with for a long period of time. I got some clarkers. I got some hands. Yeah, well hospital beds. Hey, listen, those walkers are good for fucking check out some granny porn here to get a shit.

Uh, hey there, minute. Get off on it here, Marlin. All right, now he's swinging that leg across that walker like you did the other night. Let's take a walk down the villages. Uh, so little clarification recently from him that she actually broke up with him. Oh, she broke up with him.

And they had been going to a new bar that he had not been to in his hometown that she liked to frequent or liked to go to. And it became his kind of bar. He got you saw the people there and all that other stuff. Good cheer style. A cheers, yeah. Hey. Everybody knows your name.

Hey, someone put the wheelchair ramp down for Marlon and his girlfriend. He told me that he went to the bar and he saw her with another young man. What? And that he felt so flush. He was like, Brian, I can't tell you how jealous I felt of this whole situation I used to be mine. Those used to be my raisins and now there's someone

That used to be the bar tab that was getting paid. That's right for for me. I used to rub tiger balm into her knees I just spent medication 12 times a day in her. But he did get jealous. He found himself jealous. And I thought, well, you know, I think that's kind of a natural reaction. You're dating someone for like nine months. Yes. I don't care who they are.

You're going to have some emotion tied up into it. It's going to be painful to see them moving on to a new situation in any case. So this got me thinking. How do we react when we see our exes frequent or infrequent? I mean, I mean, like long time exes. I feel like in person is different than on social media. I can be seen in person. That's one thing. See, a picture's on social media. That's that That ain't person no one fucking tells the truth Right, you know damn you social media. That's right, but it doesn't matter our fucking little pee brains can't wrap our head around the fact that that is a Staged photograph put up to make you upset Everybody knows this game. I'm sure I mean at least I think everybody knows this game. I know this game. Okay, here's the game

But Fuck you fuck you. I'm done. I'm done. least I think everybody knows this game. I know this game, okay? Here's the game. What? Fuck you, fuck you. I'm done, I'm done. We're broken up, we're broken up. Five days later, right? They have blocked you from their Facebook or their Instagram or whatever it is. Usually on Facebook, because this is how it happens.

They just take everything off of public view and then they de-friend you, right? They only put in public view what they want you to see. So inevitably, the first picture that comes up on someone's not public Facebook page is a picture of them with, you know, Jason Mamoah in a loin cloth, right? That's what happens. Because they know that you are going to be looking. In Hawaii.

In Hawaii. With a waterfall and a rainbed and a background. That's what that Mamoah, what's going on over there? That's a whole scene, With a waterfall and a rainbed. Of course. That's what that, Momoa. What's going on over there? That's a whole scene. I love it. He's so hot right now.

Yeah. Went in, when was he not hot? I mean, you know, I like Pudenda as much as the next guy, but Jason Momoa is a very good looking creature. He really is. Make me turn to dolphins for a few days. But this game that we play after we break up is made twice as bad by social media, I think, and even though these are dolled up pictures made to make you upset, obviously, you still get wrapped into it.

It's human nature. You're like, fuck, man. She's doing so great. I just broke up with her yesterday and now she's together with someone else. I got a question from someone in the audience that said, I have been, you know, been single for a while, had a boyfriend for a couple of years. Recently, I saw that my ex got married

and it made me so upset. It's been 10 years, should I still be upset? That was like the question. And I'm taking it myself 10 fucking years. No, no, no, definitely move on. Should you be upset? Maybe like a 10, well 10. You should get a therapist, that's my advice.

Yeah, well 10's, but not super like jealous or mad. It's totally understandable to go, oh man. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You've been divorced for like 22 years from this person and this person is still the fucking devil. And it's like 22 years, sister, it's been a long fucking time.

You got to get over it. And I understand like you have that one love in your life. You're always going to feel something toward them. We all have it, right? That old fling, that old fire, that, you know, Sally, Sally on the piano. You got that. Well, it's easy to forget the bad part of the relationship versus.

Oh, how quickly we forget. Only, you only remember all the fun and all the greatness that you had. Do you know, you know, I'm saying, I'm saying, do you know, like you have a no me for 20 years? Yes. You know, I had a relationship and I broke up with that person 47 fucking times. Yeah. If I broke up with them once, I broke up with them so many times. I couldn't keep up.

Day after day. I mean, honestly, day after day for a while. We're together for a long, we're together for a long, we're together for a long, fuck her. That's what you would have out for beers, Chrissy. That's right. That's what the heart wants, what the heart wants. The whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. We'll be back together. Yeah, you'd be like, Brian, what are you doing? Whoo. Can you hang out tonight?

Uh, you're with her? You're back with her? I can't hang out anymore. Sorry. Chrissy get a text message. Hey, are you on a hang tonight? She'd be like, yeah, I'm broken up today. Yep.

Sorry, can't make it. Up, let her back together. Yeah. Yeah. Or sometimes in the middle of hanging out, I'd be like, I gotta go, I'm sorry. Can I go meet her at the house? We've all had this relationship. And I admittedly,

you took my car from Bonnerview to go meet her. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done to get with an X? Because that gotta be one of the stupidest things you've ever done to get with an X? Because that got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done. I can't believe it. You're believing it. There's a real fucking radio head at Bonnaroo. It's like, I'm going to leave.

I'm going to go me up with beep. What? My air name. And he's, I'm like, uh, okay. Sure. And he's like, can I take your car? Do you mind if I drive your car 172 miles at 230 in the morning? I'll catch your bike back with my new boyfriend.

And I wasn't even to cover it for like, this is just like that. I think that has got to be one of the most insane things I have ever done for a girl that I wasn't even dating at the time. She literally texted me one time during Bonaroo. What are you up to? And she never responded to another text message. I drove home to see her.

And when I got there there she wasn't there She wasn't there why because she was at some other dude's house So not only to my mishap of radio I didn't even get laid Such a fuck up. I am. I'm such a fuck up. What is it the hard ones with the hard ones with the hard ones? The Molding space for the you always tell me I know I'd be like hey listen I know

I know she's getting arrested for the third time breaking into my apartment with the hard ones with the hard one I know she left me down in New Orleans without a ride, but What's I'm holding space? Oh, are you Listen I on the other hand did not hold space for her and but I let you do what you needed to do Yeah, I guess it's everything turned around okay because now you're married to a wonderful Oh my god. Thank God for small favors. Yeah, I was worried for a while. Here's a little here's a little relationship advice

If no one that you know like none of your friends family anyone you've ever known people on Facebook that you don't know Your contacts on LinkedIn if all of them don't agree with your relationship, it's probably time to lend a relationship. What is the craziest thing? How many times, like, if you had X's where you got together with it back together with multiple times? No, really. Never, I was never that person. You never went back to the well.

No. Wow. You're a stronger woman than I am, and I'm not a strong woman at all. No, I knew. Well, I think the reason I'm not a strong woman at all. No, I knew. Well, I think the reason I didn't do that was because I saw a lot of people doing that. And I just was like, that's stupid. Yeah, it is stupid because name one situation

we're getting back to and ex-cats together. And then you are happily ever. Name it, name it, I dare you to. Well, actually, your parents, your parents did this. Well, maybe that was my aversion to not doing it. You got to tell the audience what? Yes, and my parents were married to each other three times. This is insane.

The first time. You know, the first time was the first time. And then they got divorced when I was in kindergarten, remarried to each other a year later. Wow. Then when I was a senior in high school, got divorced, and then remarried back to each other a year later. Wow.

That to me is like, I mean, I've heard this story before, obviously, and to me, that is just so foreign that you would like breaking up is one thing. It's bad enough when you got to split up the cat, the, you know, the house cat, just to you guys have been taking care of. Marriage, marriage. And you guys are splitting up not once,

but twice and remarried. They actually walked down the aisle three separate times. That is insane. I didn't have a heat wedding the next two times. I just went to the courthouse. But yeah. But yeah. Maybe that's why I didn't do it. Maybe that's why I didn't do it.

Maybe that's why you didn't do it is because you saw that this is just crazy. And I don't want to be involved in totally. But if you haven't done it, you've seen a lot of your friends. Tons, yes. Including you. Including me. I'm the dumbass. I'm that guy.

I mean, so far, I took this so far that one time I broke up with this woman and we were broken up, I don't know, two months. We're not talking to each other, hadn't spoken to each other in months. You and I are hanging out all the time. All the time. Every moment. Yeah. Domino's is making a lot of money on late night pizza phone calls.

The local D is making a lot of money off late night pizza phone calls. The local D is making a lot of money off our late night phone calls. The bars are making a shit on my- We're in our redisons. We certainly were Renaissance men and women back then. You know everybody else at the bar is probably like, who's the fucking drunks back again? Are they fucking- Everybody always buy their...

A dollar, a dollar that they're fucking. I said I took this so far with this one particular woman that we have been broken up for two, three months, I can't remember. It's a long time, right? No contact, no communication. I had been healed. I had been cured of my ails. And my ails was this rather toxic relationship that was just like a death spiral, right?

Yeah. I feel like I'm coming out of it a little bit and I start dating another woman. I'm like, okay, I feel healthy enough to go back out there. I'm holding space for myself and I feel like I can go back out there and date but it only took one text message, one phone call.

That was it, and I was right back together with the woman I had just broken up with, and dumping the other woman. I mean, like leaving the other one in my tracks, that's how far I took it. I took it so far that not even a new relationship, a new attraction could pull me far enough away from the situation. It was such, it was like a mob to a flame. It was like a mop to a flame. So I'm turn mark fire. Yeah. Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded

commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four. You've heard it all before so let's get to it quickly. You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video, or send us a message, hit the contact us button.

Instagram and TikTok at the commercial break. And now YouTube videos the same day they air on the audio feed, they'll air youtube.com slash the commercial break. Chrissy and I are very grateful every time you choose to listen to the commercial break. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products, or services, all we ask is that you use the specialized URL's or codes. Thanks again for being part of the TCB family. Now let's hear from those sponsors and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. Tellin' Marlin' I'm like, Marlin, dude, you, honestly. So his whole thing was, I really wanna get back together

with her, like, he does. He does, totally, 100%. And I just don't know how to approach it. I was the reason for the breakup, do you know? The reason for the breakup was that Marlin, I wanna say this without making sure that I give away anything that's going to be too descriptive. Yeah, that's too personal.

Marlon felt like, Marlon wanted her to be more involved in his friends group, right? He felt like it was time to make those introductions, like in the friends group. It's been six or nine months. She felt like this was an arrangement, right? It was an arrangement and she didn't need to be a part of his social affairs outside of their arrangement. And he felt very hurt by this and they got into an argument. Like a piece of meat.

Like the subject of a John Anthony video, yes. She felt strongly that she didn't want to be part of any of his social affairs outside of that arrangement. Her heart did not want it. Her heart had no interest in this. This woman is cold as fucking ice. I mean, she really told him, basically, I don't want you in any other way to personally.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Right? She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not catching no feelings here. Yeah. Last of long enough.

If I'm not spending money on you and you're not giving me an orgasm, I'm not interested. She basically said, I'm late in life, I'm not interested in hanging around a bunch of kids. I'm just interested in having an arrangement. I kind of get it too. Maybe she's protecting him a little bit Maybe she's protecting herself. I mean she is a yeah, I mean, this isn't college. You're not going to hang out watching a ball game No You're playing a balls game is what you do so So he's but he said I don't really think she feels that way.

I think she has feelings for me and just this argument precipitated. That's what you tell yourself. Yeah, that's what I said to him too. I said, dude, that's what you're telling yourself. That's what you're imagining. Like, bro, you got on a website where older rich women pick up men as if they are prostitutes. That's basically what's happening here. Most of them are seeking arrangements.

I think that even might be the name of the fucking website. That was the name of the website is for arrangements. So she's seeking an arrangement. She has no interest in you except for your rock hard 30 something cock. Right. Right. And arm candy. And arm candy.

You don't have no, you know, you don't need no wide-bride in 3000. You are good to go. And the guys that are her age are just not interesting to her sexually. So she is taking her life. She's taking her arrangement. She's taking her arrangement. She's taking her life where everything else seems fine and normal and and dandy, right? And she's interjecting. She's paying for the one thing she can't

get in her circle of friends in her sphere of influence. And that is a 30 something year all day. Makes sense to me. Makes absolute sense to me. Because no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no This is really jealous towards you. Even if you don't necessarily aren't that into them, I feel like there's something psychologically to where you think then, well, then you want to be a little bit more cautious. They think that means they really like you. Yeah. You know what I mean? I totally get it. When someone shows signs of jealousy, when someone gets a little bit upset when you're

around another girl or another guy, whatever your preferences are, or someone, I don't know, those are Moltov cocktail in your front door, or keys your car, or threatens to murder your cat. There's something that feels good about that. You know what I said? It's fired to your house. Didn't that really happen with that girl from TLC? She said fired to the football player's house. Oh yeah, that means he went TLC the channel. And I was like, wait, what show is that?

I know every show in TLC. I've never heard of that. Yes, that girl salt and pepper, but left eye. Left eye, left eye Lopez. She said fire to the football players house, and Atlanta. But yeah, you get those little signs of jealousy, and then you start to feel like that girl really feels

feeling. They're into me. It's kind of weird and fucked up isn't it? How we play those little games with ourselves. We're like, oh, all this disturbing behavior is making me so happy. That means they care. That's right. And you know, when you start to feel those feelings of jealousy, that this is not just

the run of the milk, like I'm not just dating this person, I know I have feelings for them, right? Because the truth is like when you get involved with a woman or a man or whatever, initially, usually there's not jealousy, they go around their old friends. Yes. I've dated girls who are literally living

with their ex-boyfriends, and I'm like, ah, whatever, cool. Right, which makes for an uncomfortable homecoming, you know. Hey honey, I'm home with this guy. But I get it. I get what you're saying. Is that like, you know, there's some part, some part of you that feels, it warms the cockles of your heart.

It does look like they're like, well, they're jealous. Yeah. Okay, well, they really care. So, I told him. Which isn't always the case. You're right about this whole jealousy thing. But I told Marlin, I said, but be careful, because when someone shows you who they are,

when they tell you who they are. Believe them. Believe them. When someone tells you, believe them. It is what it is. All the cliches. Is it really what it is? All the cliches they say.

I got platitudes all day long. You want them? I got them. I never use them, but I got them. I'll say them. And I personally think it's time for Marlon to move on. Yeah. Because here, take this out a couple of steps.

Let's say they get back together. And let's say that everyone catches feelings. What happens next? Marlin is going to be with a woman. Twice is age. She's going to want to go down to the villages and retire or whatever. She's going to want to live out the rest of her life comfortably like she has the right to do right. She's very well off. So she's going to obviously have that. Marlin can be a part of all the fun and fanatic bullshit.

He can take the private planes and drive the fancy cars and live in the nice houses. The party boy. Yeah, he's a party boy. He knows D. I mean, we two weeks, that one story where they went, did you make it? She's like, up all night doing coke and he's taking it.

No. No. This person sounds awesome. I'm sorry. I so wish that he would bridge that gap for us and we could just get them both on a Zoom call and work it out for them. But if you take this down a couple of steps,

what's really gonna happen is that he is going to have to be a participant in her eventual decline as everyone goes, right? And I think she's trying to either protect him from this a little bit, or she really doesn't have feelings for him, and she's just saying, hey listen, because remember, for those of you

that are new to the podcast, this whole Marlon saga has been going on for like a year. You can go back and listen to episodes. I'm sure that Marlon is in the title somewhere, you can read the show notes. One of the crazy things that we were a part of was a text message that came through that was like 16 pages long where someone, a woman, claimed they were dating a younger man, but every single part of the story with the exception of a very few twists, every single

part of the story lined up to Marlon's story. Sounded like it. Even Marlon thought that it was his girlfriend that was writing in, even he thought, but she didn't leave a name, it was totally anonymous, and she wrote this whole thing, and it was clear from that message that she wasn't all, she wasn't as excited

about the relationship as he was, because like in the end, she said, I'm just not feeling super satisfied. Yeah, well, I mean, it's like, you know, a new toy every six or nine months, something new and shiny over here. And that's the way she's chosen to live her life. So good for her.

That's her. I say best to her. In the... Poor little Marlon's heart. I know. If there's any single girls out there living in Florida, I mean, I'm sure there's not a lot of single women living in Florida, but if there any single girls out there living in Florida, I mean, I'm sure there's not a lot of single women living in Florida. But if there's a few out there, you know, send it

send it in a bio and a picture. Let's see if we could go get off with good old Marlon. Yeah. Marlon's a good guy. He drives a 93 Celica, you know, he lives in this mom's basement. He mainly eats pizza for dinner, but you know, he's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. That's not a case, actually, that's not a case actually. He's very successful, right? He's very successful. Yeah, he's very successful. He does very well for himself. He's not her level of success, or her level of wealthy,

but he's generally well off. He's comfortable. Yeah, I said, listen, you know what the best time to go out and look for a new girlfriend, look for a new hook up is right after you get dumped. That's the best time. Women smell the desperation on you. It's almost like they're looking for a puppy dog to take in.

You know what I'm saying? You're at your most vulnerable, go out there, have a few tears in your beer, and someone's gonna approach you and say, hey bro, what's wrong with you? You could say, my night-year-old girlfriend just broke up with me. Maybe it's the bar tender.

Oh, don't hit on the bar tender. That's just now any time you hit on the bartender. Yeah, they they've never heard it before. It's just like it's like going I don't they've never had someone hit on them before. It's just like when you go into a strip club. What do we say here at the commercial break? The most expensive thing in a strip club is hope. It is.

I hope I hope she gives me her phone number. I hope that's her real name. I hope I get to go home with her and you keep paying for the privilege of that hope Yeah, meanwhile Most women that I've met that work in those dance clubs. They hate men. I mean, they are just like fuck guys, right? Yeah, absolutely Why because they see because y'all are a pack of wild animals I don't bend to a strip club, but if I had bend to a strip club y'all are a pack of wild animals. I don't have a bend to a strip club, but if I had bend to a strip club,

y'all are a pack of wild animals. We've been together so long. Oh, stop it. We went 16 or 17 times in 2014. Yes. We had a- Well, all fairness, there was a client. He was a client in all fairness.

I'll never forget the side story. I'll never forget, I can't remember if this was you or if I went with another account executive. We have this strip club here in town called the Cheetah. The Cheetah literally has a five star restaurant inside of it. Alruvia. Yeah, Aluvia. Aluvia.

Aluvia. Aluvia. Aluvia. Pubicare with your ribs. So weird. I just wouldn't need a syrup cup. This is not my thing. No, that's the receipt name says that too. So it doesn't say like two district clubs,

in case you have a wife, they're so smart. They're so smart. Yeah. And honey, I was just at a Luvia. That's the new steakhouse. And you went to the ATM 16 times. That is a weird restaurant. You got to the ATM 16 times.

That is a weird restaurant. You got to pay per plate. Every time a plate comes out, you got to put another dollar down. In my case, another 20. Don't worry about the mortgage. We'll pay it on the 17. The side story. So I show I'm running the like the internet sales department, right? I'm running the interactive sales department of Clear Channel here in Atlanta.

And that's how Brian and I met. Yeah. And as to fledgling Clear Channel employees, waiting to get fired. By Maryfaw. In a constant state of hangover. Exactly. We were in a boiler room, not boiling.

Let's put it that way. Chris, you and I were in the back snickering. You want me to what? You want me to pick up the phone and cold call? Yeah, all right, bro. Cool. So one of the AEs had the Cheetah account. And they say, listen, I'm thinking I'm going to get them

for a big fourth quarter by, it's going to be, internet's going to be a part of it. So can you come and meet with this lady? The lady who handled their marketing was the house mom for many years. Those of you that aren't familiar, strip clubs have house moms. Those house moms are exactly what it sounds like.

Their job is to take care of the ladies, their jobs and make sure that everyone's on their best behavior, there's no drama, say, looking good, looking good. And in order to accomplish this, to make sure that they're safe, looking good, looking good. And in order to accomplish this, to make sure that they're safe, looking good and not getting themselves in trouble, they literally took the doors off of the stalls

in the bathrooms in the locker room of the cheetah, the dressing room of the cheetah. I don't think I'm saying anything totally out of turn, but. I think I went into the dressing room one time. I did, I thought maybe I was with you. I think it was. Yeah, and I was like, what? First, I was like, yes. What a, whatever movie was with you. I think it was. Yeah. And I was like, what? First, I was like, yeah.

What is? Whatever movie you've seen, listener, whatever movie you've seen out there, where it shows the strip club, Druffin Room, that's it. That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's all true.

That's right. Any weird movie I like, the wrestler, whatever weird movie you've seen, where all the girls are sitting there, topless checking out each other's boobs and making catty noises yet each other. That actually happens. I shot it.

Yeah. Putting on lipstick. Only just imagine that the dressing room is much bigger. It's much brighter. And then on the other side, there's 20 toilets with no doors on the stalls. And that is so they don't do drugs, right? So they're not doing drugs so that there's no liability on the club's heart. I'm imagining that's what it is. I can't think of anything else.

That's not stopping anybody. No, please. I just stand up and pee. Face the wall. So back to Marlin. So I think more, I told Marlin, I said, get out there, bro. You just got to get out there. Link your wounds a little bit, go talk to some other people. You know, hang out with your friends. Be surrounded by friends. If you see an attractive woman, do your thing, you know,

give yourself a little boost of confidence. Give yourself a little self confidence. But I just feel like Marlon is not going to be the Pete Davidson type. It's just going to go right back out and pick up another attractive woman. Speaking of Pete Davidson, how we fucking shit?

That guy, talk about falling upwards. It's unbelievable. This guy is the U.S. Aint bolt of dating. He is going so fast that you can't even see him. He wasn't he just dating. Who's he just dating? Well, I mean, it's been a string.

He was in a game. When he first kind of came on the radar as a guy who did not quite match up with maybe what people thought his, you know, field would be was Ariana Grande. Oh, yeah. He then they got engaged. Ariana Grande, they got engaged. Yeah, that ended. So, but everybody at first was like, what is it?

What is that? Yeah, he was on SNL and he was making jokes about it. And everyone was like, oh, that's cute. That Pete Davidson guy got a really attractive woman. That really average looking dude on, that kind of funny average looking dude on Saturday Night Live. Has Ariana Grande as a girlfriend? Then they got engaged.

Then they broke out. I don't know what happened between them, but then Kim Kardashian. Years went by. Yeah, like a year and a girlfriend. Then they got engaged. Then they broke out. Then they broke out. I don't know what happened between them, but then Kim Kardashian. Years went by. Yeah, like a year and a half. The Holy Grail out there. Then Chrissy and I are just flabbergasted that all of a sudden he is dating Kim Kardashian. And clearly we think this is a PR stunt, but Nay. No.

He goes out with her for a rather lengthy period of time. And Pete Davidson years. Six months. Yeah. No, dog. You know, dogs age like three days for every day. Pete, every day of dating Pete is like a year and in Pete years.

Yes. Pete dating years. So he dated her for 12 years or however long it was in Pete years. And then he moved on to who? Who was next? Wasn't it the- Well, it was the Victoria Secret model.

The Victoria Secret model. Yeah, and then beautiful women everywhere. Everywhere. And now he's with ice spice, ice fucking spice. That girl is really attractive. Yeah, it is unbelievable to me. Funny guys when. He must have your attitude toward X's.

That's my guess. Close the door. Close the door. Close the door. Close the door. Close the door. Close the door. Close the. Just close the door. Move on. Why haven't any of these? Well, first of all, they're all very famous and they have the right not to say anything about their relationships. And I'm sure that's a good PR move on their part, but why hasn't anyone said a bad word about Pete? Now everybody says great things about it. He's got, but then it just doesn't work out.

I know the guys like this. I'm a guy like this. Just didn't work out. I like private, just didn't work out. I know. I know it's the old six month mark where all of a sudden there's bathrooms and all. It was like the two week mark, but yeah, that's okay, whatever. Why hasn't anyone ever come out with a bad word about dating Pete? Nothing.

There must be an NDA involved in something. Nothing's out there. I know nothing is out there. You haven't heard anything from Kim Kardashian? You haven't heard anything from any of the other if anyone ever come out with a bad word about dating Pete, nothing. There must be an NDA involved in some of that. I know nothing is out there. You haven't heard anything from Kim Kardashian. You haven't heard anything from any of the other girls. Oh, the best. Only the best. It's unbelievable, Pete.

I say, I mean, there needs to be a whole volume of encyclopedia Britannica dedicated to Pete. It definitely needs to be a class. For sure. I got a college course. You think he's gonna be like, Professor Emeritus at Harvard one day giving Class no, but then again, I don't know. Maybe I don't know. He might go that round. All of a sudden he's super smart

The avenge. Yeah Taking off my professor world. Pete Davidson. Yeah, one of these days. He's like Warren Beatty of our time He's the Warren Beatty of our time, but Warren Beatty was really good. Yeah, wait. Yeah, one of these days, he's like Warren Beatty of our time. He's the Warren Beatty of our time. But Warren Beatty was really good looking. Yeah, wait a minute, that's true. He's, okay. He seemed like a playboy. Pete does not.

No, yeah. He seems like the goofy kind of guy that you, you know, love to be around and loves to make you laugh. I guess that's what happened. Yeah, that's true. He's like the carrot top of our time. Pfft. Pfft.

Before Carrotop got on steroids. Oh my God. Caratop looks awful. Caratop literally. What is the picture of this muscle? Like what? Do you know how you can go online? You can play those games where you like smush two bubbles together and then they bubble

grows bigger with little other bubble. You know, you're just like one of those games for people that you know, like tactile stuff. I feel like, Karatop is a lot of oranges put together. And he's like grown out of his, he is awful. That guy is weird. Now, I've heard a couple of interviews with him. And that other than Karatop sounds pretty smart

and like a half a bull guy. He's doing something right. He's been around forever. Yeah, is he still in the biggest strip? Yeah, I think. Yeah. What's he playing now? Like, oh, oh, he's been around forever. Yeah, is he still in the biggest strip? Yeah, I think. Yeah. What's he playing now? Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, shallons.

Come on in, oh, shallons. Yeah, I think, I don't even know if he's actually playing. I think he's just around the scene. Oh, he's around the scene. Maybe he does stand up here and there. I'm sure that Carrotop probably comes to Atlanta four times a year and we just don't know about it because it's Caratop. You know where we need to go?

Theresa Caputo is coming to Atlanta and that's where we need to go. But I'm a little concerned that we'll get vetted and we'll quickly be out. We should do something like where we make a big profile. Yeah, online and say like our grandmother died or something and then see that it gets picked up. That's really, really smart. For those of you that are just joining the commercial break, if you're a new listener here, Chrissy and I have a history with Teresa Caputo. And by history, I mean, we have been talking about her. She's not been talking about us, but we have been talking about her and that God started hairdo and how it's all fake, right?

And how she just, and how if you really watch any of her live readings, they are all big veils. That's what they are. But she just talks so fast and she tries to make things funny. So, yeah, that you just don't realize how bad she actually is. And so, she's coming to an answer. I thought my family in the audience has had a family member die probably of a heart attack and she starts there.

I'm sensing someone who knew someone who had toes. Is anybody's toes familiar to anybody? Your grandfather had toes. No, your brother had toes. A man with a penis had toes. No, was it a vagina? Because I've got there's a woman standing there with her hair on fire, and that's usually a sign for a vagina.

Yes, who was it? Is it with your uncle? Are you wearing, are you wearing your aunt's necklace right now? No, no, is that your daughter's necklace? Is it your necklace? It's a necklace. Did you steal the necklace? Did you ever acquire that necklace?

It's a good. If you touch that necklace, you have. Because there's a guy right behind me, there's three guys right behind me, and one of them is, he's got doing this motion like he's masturbating, and that's usually a sign for the necklace is from grandma. A pearl necklace. Pearl necklace. I got a guy geysin' on my neck right now, it's a pearl necklace. I got a guy gazing on my neck right now. It's a Pearl necklace. Anybody have had cake?

Is it somebody with cake? Yeah. Seeing a birthday cake. Anybody had birthday cake recently? No, nobody. Yeah, you, you, you, what about ice cream? Ice cream. Milk, any milk products?

What's up? Dairy. Have you ever had dairy anybody out of her dairy Because I'm smelling flatulence and that's usually a sign for dairy eating I There's a ghost right behind me with the IBS you shitting all over the floor That's usually my shine sign for someone shitting all over the floor. That's usually my shine sign for someone shitting all over the floor. She's so stupid. We'll do it to re-sick a Buddha coming up by promise you

because we just love to dislike that lady. I mean, she is so awful and she's coming to Atlanta. But back to Carotop. Carotop had a string of rather lovely women too back in his day. And I'm not really sure when his day was. I think sometime around the late 90s, there was a carotop thing going on. Yeah. It was like right after Gallagher, the right before Seinfeld. You don't have to say it was in between Gallagher inside. Yeah. And Carotop, he would have these incredible inventions

that he would do, you know? I don't know, he'd be a hammer on a rock and he'd be like, it's look, it's rock hard. I keep throwing on the floor. He'd have a whole box of this shit, he'd just make up. And it's usually two words he put together and then two things he put together and then he made that scene.

Quit, that was his whole stick. But Carrot Top, when he was in Vegas on doing like a residency, he had a string of women that he was dating to. I ever thought it was Vegas. I know. So that's why he's pretty much like. Oh, that's true.

Yeah. Well, except for Carrot Top. Thanks for taking our Carrot Top. So let's take a look at the situation as it stands right now. Warren Beatty, good looking, rich. At the time, movie star, at the time world's best actor,

one of the world's best actors. Pete Davidson, one time had a movie because of Ariana Grande, bit player on Saturday Night Live. I guess it's debatable about how he looks. To me, not my taste. Of course, I'm not into Pete Davis and Types, but would you date Pete Davis and Types?

Well, I mean, it depends. It depends. I don't take looks at all really into consideration. I mean, yes, to a certain extent. And think of it. But it's different when you meet somebody. And he obviously has a very magnetic personality, makes you feel good about yourself,

makes you feel at ease. If you can put a tickle in someone's pickle, it's better than being good looking any day of the week. That's why I have been so extraordinarily unsuccessful and ITATINGLY. And then there's Caratop, who we don't know about. Call it like you see it. I mean, Caratop is Caratop.

I don't think anybody's, I don't think he was ever on the cover of Time magazine, or Men's Fitness. Maybe Men's Fitness. Maybe Men's Fitness. Maybe Men's Fitness. Muscles. And then you got that Lisa fucking bone A.

That Lisa fucking bone A. She is the most beautiful, I love her. She is so beautiful. And she's been with mama, money, rabbits, and they have children that look like gods. And it's all, the gene pool up there is really nice. I wish I could just like reach up there and pull out some genes and throw them down into my mouth.

There are other and Hawaii. Yeah. You don't see Pete Davidson going back to his axis. Nope. You don't see Pete Davidson going back to his axis. He's made it on quick. We need it. You know what we need to do?

I say we have a game show. A game show called Sexes of the Exes. Oh, I like it. And we get a bunch of freshly broken up people like Marlon and his girl. And then we get the other one. We get the person who has been dumped and the dumpy. And we get the dumpy in a room with a hot,

you know, over sexualized human being, woman, man, whatever it is. And then we put the X on the other side of the wall with the two-way mirrors. They can only see it and they can't see it. How we doing this or we put TLC in it? No, we're doing this right here. TLC or pitching in the TLC is a good thing. Listen, I would say that I don't think TLC would go for this, but I'm not even sure what

TLC's parameters are. No, there are not. Yeah, they're off the rails. And I love it. I love every bit of it. I just wish they would do Tiki-Oki-Kari-Oki. So, we put them on the other side of the wall, and then we let them see what happens. Like a love is blind?

Kind of like love is blind, but you can see. Kind of like love is blind, but you can see Like I like love is blind, but not so blind you know what I'm saying and the two people just I'm not a wall like but do you say something about a wall? I want the X like let's say marlins Grandma whatever she is right yeah, marlins lady and then put marlin on the other side of the two-way mirror and then Send in Pete Holmes or Pete Davidson, I see you was saying Pete Holmes. But send in Pete Davidson, and just watch the fireworks happen, and literally monitor Marlon to see how his physiological reaction is to this.

And so I say we do this, it's sexes with the X, sexes of the Xs, right? And we'll see if people still have feelings for their X in that way by monitoring their physiological response to watching their X get nailed on the opposite side of a two-way window. I mean, there's nothing like having yourself being monitored to make you to make your blood pressure. Yeah, I always thought that about those lie detectors. Like nothing to calm you down like a bunch of wires hooked up to your head. In a concrete room.

I'd fail a lie detector every time. I'd be like, ah. Oh, good fun. A lot of fun. Don, that's a fun. Don't get with your ex. I'm not going to work out. Don't go back. Don't go back.

There's a reason why you left. Don't go back. Unless the sex is really good. Then go back a couple of times. Unless my parents. Yeah, that's your parents. Get married to get married. Yeah, now that I think about it, your parents were just like me and Shesher and

Yeah, only without all the restraining order. Yes, it does. All right go to tcbpodcast.com If you want your 21 EPM stickers, prostate health is important and we're shit I'm like a fucking PSA. Do you have to act doing our part? Yeah, I have to act doing our part. We're shit. I'm like a fucking P.M. Say. Do you have Sack doing our part? Yeah, Sack doing our part. We're just kidding. Is this something we made up and now we're trying to find a reason why we have 21 E.M. Stickers.

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I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say, and we must say, like the Micro Machine Man.

Good. Good, bye. And we must say like the Micro Machine Man, good bye!I'm a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man you