The Commercial Break - The Ultimate Podcast Directory

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Bryan is up to his old tricks...watching more reality dating shows. He has found a new love show obsession, Secret Crush. Love Is Blind wraps on it's second season and it was a winner! Shane can't sit still, Sal can't stop sitting still and Shake is an ass clown. Then the listeners have asked and Uncle Bryan is here to answer. Fan Favorite "Ask Uncle Bryan" is back and you are stranger than ever! Bonus: Bryan outs the podcast tool he used to break through the clutter and achieve podcast fame! The Podcast Directory is back.... LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What was with his legs? She's shaking her head, no, so that's fine. Look, you don't have to acknowledge it. I don't care. I don't care if you believe in what I do. That's not what they just accept that. I don't care if you believe in what I do. On this episode of The Commercial Break.

I imagine they also have the cameras running just 24 hours a day. They probably go through thousands of hours of footage Just to get to it and I did hear some scuttle but season one that there were more people got engaged Then actually went to the honeymoon so there were more people who had relationships and actually went to the honeymoon And then they decided not to go on the honeymoon. Well, no the producers said sorry. You're out And Christina uncle Brian are here. And Chrissy and Uncle Brian are now here for you. Thank you for tuning in to our show.

Everybody just to take a deep breath. Sit still, shame, sit still. Please. Stop wiggling in your pants. Stop wiggling in your seats. Watch you to connect your vitrochra with your pach stop wiggling in your seats. Wants you to connect your Vatraqra with your Pachakra. Take a deep breath. It's got a cobra breath, which means straight from your penis, out through your mouth.

Or as my son would say, Pupu out your mouth. Pupu out our mouth. I would be careful. Step lightly about bringing the dildos to work. My first piece of advice is, you must, must, must. Find it. Give it to your assistant. Put it in a box of chocolate.

To clean and to cold. I've got an idea. Put it in a box of chocolate. To clean and to cold. I've got an idea. Put it in the podcast directory. No one will find it. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh no! No! It's not gonna be so funny. The commercial break! I am Brian Green. This is the director of all things wonderful, Kristen Houdley. Oh, hello. Best of you, Kristen.

Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the commercial break. A lot of exciting things lined up for you today, so let's get right into it. Kristie, I have a new show addiction. And I think you're gonna like it. But you're gonna have to download the TLC app in order to get it. One that's TLC Discover.

You and the TLC. It's called Secret Crush. Oh. And here's our goes. A young lady in, I think it's South London. Uh-huh. Has a speak easy, so to speak. Right. Right.

But it's really about, I think, just a television studio. But it's made to be a speak easy. Okay. And she. Like, do you have to knock her secret it's really, I think just a television studio, but it's made to be a speakeasy. Okay. Like, do you have to knock a secret knock? Yeah, I don't see the secret not going on, but that's what she calls it. She says, I run, you know, whatever, a speakeasy lady, I don't know.

The host plays a minimal part in this, but basically what she does is she invites one person to tell someone they have a secret crush on them. And they invite them to the seat to be easy for a day for a couple of drinks. And a drink. And so what happens is one person comes in with the crush and then they invite the person and they have no idea who it is. Surprise!

Surprise! And this is absolutely fascinating television as far as I'm concerned. Not everyone's a winner, but most of them are very interesting, and then there's a couple really like surprise ones. And the best are when the person, when they ask to go on a second date as they always do, and the person says, no, that's my favorite, because then it's uncomfortable altogether.

But one came in and said she had a secret crush on her step brother. Oh. And it was fucking hilarious. No, it was great. It was great. And he, like, at first he was completely surprised. Absolutely flabbergasted that his step sister

was there telling him, he's like, this was supposed to be off limits. But then he finds a way to talk himself into a second date. And then they tell him, it's not illegal. Well, you know, step sister and step brother porn is very popular, Chrissy. Yes, very popular. And this is just like, this show is super fascinating to me.

I like the idea that you're surprising someone who may or may not even know you. So in some cases, they don't even really know the person or like Facebook friends or something. And they have a secret crush, or a famous TikTok star. And this person has a secret crush on him. So and of course, the person that is being crushed on

always shows up because it's an opportunity to be on TV, it's drugs 30, and somebody likes them, right? And it is just brilliant. I mean, it's a brilliant show. I'll take it out. It's so simple, there's nothing to it. It's just one person likes another person and they're gonna surprise each other

and let the shenanigans fly. So there been like a love story that's come out of it? Do you know? I don't care. Yeah. No, I don't care about the love story. I just care about the initial reaction. I just want to see the shit show happen and then I don't care. And now, it's not Jerry Springer asked. Like there's no like fighting or someone. Most people, it's in London too. So most people are awful police. Civilized. Yeah, very civilized.

If you're the United States, I can see some shit going down. Yeah. But it's just, I don't know, the love shows, the dating shows, awful points. Yeah, very civilized. I could see some shit going down. But it's just, I don't know, the love shows, the dating shows, the 90 day fiance and all that, they, they park my interest. I think I'm very interested. I just, I just finished love as blind. As I did too. Love as blind was another great season of love as blind.

But you know, if you only, I have a couple of gripes with love as blind. Okay. And let me tell you what, my couple gripes are. I don't think we get enough of the interaction between the couples. Like I feel like the episodes are very truncated and they have so many people to fit into the episodes. Yeah. That I think you get just a little, like, a little TST-teener.

You do get TST a little Tina of everybody. Well, and I noticed too at the beginning, they really show like a wide breadth of everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they quickly navigate towards what eventually turns out to be couples. Of course. So like I noticed there were a couple people,

there was a one girl that's like, I'm so pretty. And everybody would love me. And then she went up a soda later, you know where to be found. She was nowhere to be found after she said that. Basically. And I imagine that the producers kind of already know who they want their horses to be like the people they,

long before they ever get into those rooms. Yes. And I imagine they also have the cameras running just 24 hours a day. Probably go through thousands of hours of footage Yeah, and I did hear some scuttle, but season one That there were more people got engaged than actually went to the honeymoon So there were more people who had relationships than actually went to the honeymoon and then they decided not to go on the honeymoon

Well, no the producers said sorry you're out Sorry, don't like you. You're not. No, I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know. Crazy enough. Yeah. First of all, Vanessa and Nick Lachet, they're not, I don't even know why we're seeing them.

Like because they're no part of the show. They show up at the beginning and they say, is love truly blind? And then you don't see them until the reunion special. No, I watched the reunion this morning, actually. Oh, you did? Yeah, the reunion was good. That guy, Shake is a real ass clown. Yeah, he's a real ass clown.

I don't want to run it front. Anyway, spoiler alert, here it comes. Ready? Shake is an asshole. That girl, Deep Tea, was beautiful. I know. I mean, listen, I do appreciate the honesty from Shake. Yeah.

He's brutally honest. He's brutally honest. Pig who likes women for their looks and can't get past it. Yeah. She ate the honesty from Shake. He's an eager to be honest. He's brutally honest. Who likes women for their looks and can't get past it. Yeah. I guarantee he ends up on another dating show. Oh yeah. Because he even said it on the reunion thing today.

They were like, I think you're on the wrong show. There's a thing going around saying Shake for season three. There's like a meme going around. Shake for season three. And listen. I think he's a real love island or something. He certainly is the most interesting, I think one of the more interesting characters in the two season.

And then that guy Shane, he is so coked out of his fucking head. He cannot sit still. He is very entertaining. He's swimming out of his skin. He's like, I know. I know. I know. I don't eat totally shows like every emotion. Like, ah. Oh, I know. I feel. I know. I don't eat totally shows like every emotion.

Like, ah. Oh, I got it. Oh. I feel like he's telling me. Tell me I'm pretty. That's it. That's what I think. He's so needy.

He's very needy. And so emotive. And so. I think he's got to get a heart. But. Uncettled. He cannot for the life of him. Hold still.

No. One fucking second. You see him on that reunion special? Yeah. He was like sliding down off the couch. He was like, I also noticed in the reunion special that they're all of the men on the couch that were not, they didn't go through the wedding. We're all wearing no socks and shoes. That's the thing.

That's the thing my wife told me, you know, my wife's all, my wife's younger than I am. So she's a hip into the trendy clothing. Okay. And so she makes me on occasion look good. And one of the things she says, you can't wear, you don, my wife's all, my wife's younger than I am. So she's a hip into the trendy clothing. Okay. And so she makes me on occasion look good. And one of the things she says, you can't wear you don't wear socks with those. Because one night we were on dinner, and she said, put on the loafers.

They look good. The penny loafers. And I said, oh, okay. And I put some socks on. She goes, no, no, don't wear socks. And I was like, no wear socks. Maybe you could wear some socks like mine, where they're like no show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to know show socks. I'm with a regular socks. What am I? I'm a fucking two, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to know show socks. I'm with a regular socks. What am I? I'm a fucking two years old. I'm a vegan sweaty. I don't care. I'm a vegan sweaty.

At least I'm wearing socks. That's what I'm saying. Highly disturbing trend. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I'll always think you know, but it's the sweaty feet. I'll tell you what, I had this friend way back in the day. And he was, he was like a young Frank Sinatra live and in person. I swear to God, this guy was swav.

He was swav. He played the harmonica, so anytime his band was on and everybody loved him. Everybody knew him, everybody loved him. The guy committed suicide, actually, which was like, blue my fucking mind. I am. That this guy, that this guy killed himself,

it blew my fucking mind because everybody loved him. Guys name is Burke Boger. Everybody loved this guy. And I hated him at first. He started working at a restaurant. I was working at, I hated him at first. I thought you are such a douche, like stop being such a douche,

and then I fell in love with him, right? And then him and I were good friends for a long time. Anyway, this guy never wore socks. He was always in a suit. A lot of times he had a bow tie, always, always, always. But he never wore socks. And it bothered the shit out of me. I was like, why are you not wearing fucking socks?

I feel like this is a Charleston thing that got out of control. I feel like guys in Charleston started doing this because it's sweaty now. That's kind of preppy. I agree with you. But this guy, Shane, he can't wear socks because it's, he just feels like it's bounced right out of preppy. I agree with you. But this guy Shane, he can't wear socks because he's just feeling like that a bounce right out of his shoes.

Guys, crazy, he's kinetic. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, oh, electricity, a lot in the human form. Yeah. It was crazy. But the season was, I thought, generally, satisfying. It was generally a good season. Yeah.

And I'm sad that not more of the couples didn't make it. Yeah. And I, too. What was the Latino girl and the guy, what was his name? The Latino guy, the opera singer? First of all, he didn't sing like an opera singer. Yeah. He sounded like a guy who wanted to be an opera singer.

He was a school for opera. Okay. Anybody who pays for school for opera, you gotta school for opera. His name's sort of within an S, but I can't remember. I got the names right here, Salvador. Salvador. Salvador.

And Mal. Mallory. Mallory and Sal. Mall and Sal. Mall and Sal. Mall and Sal. That was a good storyline. That guy was like, he was on Xanax.

I mean, that guy was like a brutal. He was very chill. Yeah, he was very chill. He's like, I wanna let like a whooed up. He was very chill. He was like, I want to let everybody know. I forgive everybody. Yeah, he does. In the moment, I forgive you all. Meanwhile, Shane is like,

Oh! Oh! And Shane shakes like, Hey, Vanessa, turn around so I can see your act. I know. Show your tits. This guy, Shane, he was a character. If you haven't watched Love Is Blind season two two on Netflix, you've got to check it out

It's really good and even Jeff who did not want to watch it as soon as I had it on he was interested I know Jeff hates me by default Jeff is like Brian Green has caused more trouble in my life by default By I wish that guy would just stop. Cause I'm like, Chrissy, Chrissy, you gotta watch 90 day fiance. And then she's watching a 90 day fiance for three days in a row.

I can just see Jeff are eating a bowl of cereal walking by the couch. He's like, oh, what? Krem is saying. What did he say? Yeah, but then he did. He did. Yeah.

He slowly sits down and starts watching. I know it's like the bachelor. Oh, no shows once you get involved in you can not get on and know what happens. That's it. I just want to understand it's like this um uh raising Anna predicting Anna making a Vanna watching that show because you know what I've been reading about that story for years now. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew all about her and she's just a car artist. Well, she's a car artist and the show is so, it's one of those shows that's like,

the filming of it is very bright, like how it looks on TV. Okay. It looks like a sitcom almost. I'm not gonna watch it. It's bad. Yeah. But Astrid wanted to watch it and she doesn't know anything.

Right. So we watched the first episode and I was kinda playing on my phone and looking, and then all the fucking sudden I get into it, I'm like, I don't like the acting, I don't like the way it's filmed. I think that you have to make, there's so much dialogue that's just too cutesy for me,

like it all kind of comes together to- It's like a reenactment. It's definitely a reenactment. And in my opinion, not a good one. Remember- She's in jail. What was that show that was on in the afternoons or the evenings on something impossible? And it was like a detective story.

And they had that guy Robert, whatever his name was, like the famous announcer. And I can't remember the name of this. Anyway, they did these reenactments of these unsolved mysteries, unsolved mysteries with Robert, whatever his name is. Okay, so he'd come out and be like, it was a Thursday night, a young lady sitting

in her dining room, eating her toast at all the sudden, her head rolls off her shoulders. And it's like, you know, it's like this weird mystery. It's a fun the CNBC. It used to be on, I forget the channel used to be on, but this is the back in the 80s we're talking about. But it's a very famous show that played in reruns. It wasn't on any of the major networks,

but a couple of the other networks picked it up. They would play unsolved mysteries. They would play it at night. They would play it at night. Oh, I remember unsolved mysteries, yeah. Unsolved mysteries. Okay, but they always had these reenactments by these actors and actresses that was just horrible acting. Yeah. And I feel like raising on it night they would play. I wanna run soft mysteries, yeah. I'm soft mysteries. Okay, but they always had these reenactments

by these actors and actresses that was just horrible acting, right? And I feel like raising Anna or whatever the fuck the name of that show is, it's like one big reenactment from unsolved mysteries. That's just too cutesy for me, and I don't like it. But now I've watched her never do it.

And now I'm like, fuck, I'm invested. Now I gotta, now I gotta see what happens here. Even though I know what happens. She goes to jail, of course she goes to jail. She was a really good con artist. But she didn't think she was a con artist. She thought she was working. That's what she thought she was doing.

Huh. Okay. Anyway, that's, I watch Secret Crush. Yes, okay. You out there watch Love Is Blind. Tell us what you think. 661 Best of You. Tell us what you think about the new Love Is Blind season. And we're going to be doing a dating show here on

the commercial break. That's so exciting. And I'm super excited about this. And I want to give away all of the mystery yet. And we haven't figured out every single detail. You have these are so fun to give away all the mystery because I don't know all the mystery yet. It's a mystery to us. That's right. But we're looking for a couple of cutesy singles, single people, guys, girls, bicarious, whatever, whatever you're into, give us a call, text us, 661, best, the number two, yo. Are family members all limits? Why, are you wondering if,

what's off to him off air about that? I had the same, I had the same thought. Yeah, I had the same thought. Yeah, but I'm not sure. I just to let you know this is all going to be done online and then whatever these people choose to do outside of the commercial break. So, you're not going to go anywhere, you're not going to meet me, but like it's just a fun game.

We do have a $10 Starbucks gift card waiting for you. We got a green dot gift card for your days. From PizzleCon that we're going to send you from wandering Bitcoin that we're going to send for you. Green got gift card for your day. From PizzleCon that we're gonna send you, from wandering Bitcoin that we're gonna send to you. But all of this love talk got me thinking. I know there's some people out in the audience who have some questions about love and stuff. They've been writing us.

They've been writing us and I feel like it's time to answer their questions with yet another edition of Ask Uncle Brian. Hey everybody, it's that time inside the commercial break when we take a commercial break and I have some exciting news for you. Chrissy and I are going to be starting a series where we play a number of games here on the podcast and we want you involved. If you're interested leave us a message at one of two places go to tcbpodcast.com

click on the contact us form and drop us an email or you can leave a text message or a voicemail on 661 best to yo that's 661 237 8296 I'm not going to get into what games we're playing but we're going to be playing a lot of them so there's plenty of room for everybody. Also, if you'd like to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and YouTube.com slash the commercial break for content you cannot get anywhere else. We put out clips on both Instagram and YouTube every single day and on YouTube we have a series called In the Studio. It's filmed exclusively for YouTube so you can only get it there. Subscribe if you like the channel. We certainly would appreciate it. People are texting us and leaving us messages asking us how they can best support the show.

One of two or both ways. Number one, you can leave us a review on your favorite podcast player. We certainly would appreciate it and it helps us grow the audience of the show. Which then in turn makes our sponsors happy if you're ever in the market for any of our sponsors, products or services. If you could use the specialized URLs or discount codes that we give away on air, it gives you free shit and it tells our sponsors we're doing a good job. Monday, Wednesday and Friday is now the new schedule. If you have any comments, questions or concerns about that, go ahead and hit us up on that 6612378296 number. And I'll let you know how I feel about you letting us know how you feel.

And now, a word from Sid Sponsors. And, Kristian Uncle Brian, are here. And Kristian Uncle Uncle Brian are here. And Chrissy and Uncle Brian are here for you. Thank you for tuning in to our show. Everybody just to take a deep breath. Sit still, Shane. Sit still, please. Stop wiggling in your pants.

Stop wiggling in your seat. Want you to connect your Vatrqra with your pachakra. Take a deep breath. Let's get a cobra breath, which means straight from your penis out through your mouth. Or as my son would say, poo poo out your mouth. Poo poo out our mouth.

Poo poo. Poo poo. Which he's very scared of, just thought you were scared of pooping in the mouth. No. And let's ask a couple of questions. The sage wise wisdom, also known as. Where's the bowl? I wish I had the bowl. I have a bowl. I wish I had it. It's somewhere around here. Oh, there it is. Oh, uh, no, forget the bowl.

Okay. Forget the bowl. I'll just make the bowl sound. Make the bowl sound. Now, Chrissy, please, if you would. Now that I'm aligned with the universe, and all its intentions and all its slots, I am grateful.

I'm light. I am love. I am one with source. I am number 63 in the comedy charts. Please ask away. Okay, Uncle Brian. Yes. I Like the way this is starting just to let you know. Yes, it's very positive vibes. Yes. I Just found out my 17 year old steps on Is sleeping with the 48 year old neighbor. What do I do? Uncle Brian. Thank you for the question. Enjoy. Enjoy the enjoy the enjoy the

enjoy the time away from your son. Possibly ask if you can get involved in any way, shape, or form. This is what a good stepmom does. This is what a good stepmom does. A good stepmom gets involved. Hand shandy every once in a while. Possibly a rub-and-tug underneath the dinner table. This is an opportunity to show your son what a woman is made of. And I feel like this is the universe opening up many holes for you to walk through Yes, and I feel you should walk through as many of them as you can as your son is now walking through off your neighbor's holes I would get a video camera and I would do some TikTok videos Yeah, this is also a financial opportunity for your family. As stepmom and stepson porn is very popular. It is.

Yes. So, well, check your state for local guidelines as far as age is concerned. But I feel like in most cases, 17 years old is the right time to start teaching. Thank you for that question. Yeah, you're probably good if you're in the South. Yeah. The Midwest. Yeah. I think that's a great question. I think it's a good way to start off. And congratulations to you and your stepson on your growing manhood. It's so horrific. Okay, dear Uncle Brian next question.

Terrible Brian. Please. Should I be concerned my husband of 11 years has wait for it, joined a singles group? Yeah. Should I be worried? No. No. It's just a networking opportunity.

I would not be, this is just a chance for your husband to get out there and meet other guys and meet other girls and have some fun. While I wouldn't be concerned about him joining the singles group, I would find yourself a divorce attorney for future protection. There's nothing to be concerned about. Your husband is just looking for a social outlet to send that energy that's bent up inside. And your husband seems like the kind of guy who takes you into consideration in every decision. I don't think there's anything to be worried about. He is looking for friends, not for girlfriends or boyfriends, why would you be worried?

I wouldn't be worried if faster joined a session. No, I mean, if I have joined one, yeah. Jeff did join one. Yeah, I believe. Yeah. I see them there all the time. But, and, listen, the sex is purely platonic.

Yeah, you should be encouraging. Yeah, this is, this is, I feel like this is a place where a wife can be supportive of her man. Right. When your husband joins Tinder, flip with him. Yeah, swipe right. Point out which girl has nice tatas and look for you, use your woman's intuition to understand who might be right for him in bed. Namaste.

Namaste. Namaste. Oh. Hmm. Please. bed. Namaste. Namaste. Oh, please. Okay, continue. Next question. I wish you would. My partner of three months has a 10-inch pizzel. Whoa. Flass it. Flass it. impressive. He can't stop admiring it after he showers or in bed. Hmm. But I think it's weird.

How do I tell him to just calm it down? Well, this is a tough one. But I want you to know that Uncle Brian and we here at TCBR are here to help. We don't want, this is the kind of thing that can really get stuck in the crawl of a relationship. So first things first, I need you to take a couple pictures of your husband's Pizzle and send them to 661 Best 2 Yo. So the Chrissy and I can determine

what the best course of action is for the Pizzle. Please send them there. You can't tell your husband or your boyfriend to stop admiring his Pizzle. He has a 10 inch Pizzle. It's to be admired. If you didn't, if you'd have fun on it, admire his 10 inch Pizzle. He has a 10 inch Pizzle. It's to be admired. Yeah. If you didn't, if you'd just phone on it,

admire his 10 inch Pizzle, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. Chrissy, I have to just bring a little self awareness to the conversation. I'm awfully jealous, because I wish I could borrow just three inches of that of that Pizzle.

And things would be fine. Your boyfriend is doing something that's very natural amongst all men. And that is to my, my or your own cock. That's right, especially when it's big. And impressive, I might say. If it's ten inch was flaccid, how many is it hard? 18 cheese.

18 cheese. At least send pictures. Yes. I wouldn't, I think you're in the wrong relationship. That's my opinion. I don't usually like to be negative on the show, but this is just one, I gotta say. You don't like a 10 inch cock.

Don't date a guy with a 10 inch cock. Yeah, they've been together for three months too. That's not very long. Yeah, your relationship sucks. That's one of those three month turning points too. Yeah, three months. Literally a turning point, a point upon which you turn. 10 inch turning point.

Please next. Okay. I'm on a roll, I feel. Yeah, you're a very very very sage. Hmm. Okay. Oh. Oh.

Next, next question. Uncle Brian. Mm hmm. My 13 year old son wants to go to Bonare with me. But I'm afraid you will see me in a state of LSD induced euphoria. And I don't really want to have that talk. What do I do? Give him some LSD also.

And that will loosen up the conversation a little bit. I will advise what I would advise anyone in the situation regardless of age. Drug him with the same drugs you're taking, and that way you can enjoy Bonnaroo together as one cohesive mother, son, unit, if you will. The hallucinations fly into the heavens together, get eaten many times by snakes, swallowed whole by monsters of unseen death and proportions, right there, for all to see, at Baneru. And I would say there's a parenting decision like no other to decide to let your 13-year-old son come to Bannery with you.

Bonnery wasn't what it used to be, however. And yeah, I would just say, I think the best way to teach is by doing. Lead by example. Lead by example. Let him take the LSD with. What's the harm? What possibly could go wrong? Yeah. Yeah. Seems natural. We do it here at the house all the time. Okay. I put LSD in the dogs water and I find that that Wait, maybe that's what's going on with blue. Yeah Or why Nico acts like My Nico's seeing things in the middle of the night The nother ad. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about your son. Okay, I I always take the universal philosophy

Like the Buddha had Think about yourself first and then only consider others when it's going to affect your own well-being And if you live your life that way then you're sure to change the world. I think the Gandhi said that think about yourself first wise words Uncle Brian Thank you. I think I have those written down in my journal Someday I'll bring you can read from Talked about PizzleCon today on T.C.B Made another six dollars on the commercial break. Things are going great. Oh, I'm so glad.

You could also send your son to a mushroom therapy session, which will help him. I feel like open up some of the chakras when the conversation about LSD comes. So there's many different avenues. Like introduced to it, aren't we? Yeah. Give your son some cocaine and then allow him to go talk Yammer on to people he'd stranger, he doesn't know. Leaving you alone to enjoy your trip. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Could also find some chiropractors to go with your son, a bonerer. Hit the meth pipe and get down in the swingers like environment. Make sure you bring a bar of soap to boneroo. Sex on the first day, never on the third. Just remember that.

Just remember that. Please, Chrissy, I'm ready for another question. Okay. Uncle Brian. Yes. When people wave to me at the park, I feel uncomfortable. Hmm. I want to be nice and wave back But I really don't want to What would you do?

Well, you're I think I think the word we're looking for here Chrissy is an asshole is what you are Here, Chrissy, is an asshole, is what you are. Ha ha ha ha, I would say people like you should stay at home and lock the door. Don't go on the internet. Stay off my YouTube channel. If you're in silly comments. I understand this. I feel like sometimes I'm in the mood to wave to everybody. And other times I feel like it's a commitment on my part.

And then I'm asking them to make a commitment also. I'm asking them to interrupt their day, to waive back to me so they don't feel like an asshole. I mean, it's a waive. It's a waive. But it is a level of commitment on your part. And so I do understand where you're coming from. But in one sentence you say, I want a waive back.

And then in the next sentence you say, but I really don't. I think you're just confused is what you are. So I would say to you this, uh, well, you should walk around with in a furry costume. And that way, yes. Yes. In that way, no one expects you to wave back. You're, you're, you're waving with your face. Or wear a t-shirt that says don't wave at me. Not interested. Don't wave at me. Yes, I don't believe in hell, but if there was one you'd go there. Thank you for your question.

Why can't I go with a part? Yeah, why bother? Kind of asshole says that. I don't want to wave back. Oh My goodness, okay Uncle Brian. Yes. I'm here for you. I'm 17 years old Tender tender precious age. Yes. I am not outgoing at all. I have a hard time in social situations. Okay. I feel like if I I was funny, it would solve some of my issues. How do I learn to be funny in these situations? This is a perfect question for me. I mean we're climbing the charts on the company charts. But if you figure out how to be funny, we also hear the

commercial break would like to get cleared in Please let us know and if you want to be better at social situations I just have a few I think wise words experience. I've learned over the years You can do two things Learn to give a good hand job or be prettier. I'm assuming you're a woman. I don't... I don't... Could be a man.

Yeah, no, I think the way the question is phrased actually, I sense real energy. Real energy. Real energy. Male energy. Male energy. And I think that humor is a good bridge. It allows barriers to come down. Everybody loves to laugh.

It's hard to be mad at somebody when you're laughing at them. Just ask my wife. And I wish I could explain to you how to be funny, but that is a gift from the heavens. It really has. It has been bestowed upon me and Chrissy for us to take care of and protect and use to our financial advantage

in every way possible. For the lightning strike. It is. And when it happens, only a few people can be this funny. And unfortunately, you're not one of them. Uh... Uh... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There are a few special characters running around special people special special people gifts to our community Who will gladly take your money and try and teach you how to be funny get a podcast off the ground be in a podcast directory for five to seven hundred dollars Which will certainly bring fortune and fame your way Hey I'm a podcast director. Hey, what's the name of that podcast? I don't know.

Look it up in the podcast directory. Where is the total inside joke? And I'm sorry, but just know that there is a podcast directory out there. It's like, uh, remember when you went to school and they used to hand out the book at the beginning of school that had all the parents names and phone numbers in case you had, you know, the directory, the parent directory, the parental directory. Well, there's one for podcasting too. In case you need to know how to get a whole of one of your favorite. And for five to seven hundred dollars, you too can be a category director. Well, I feel like that's a good place to start with your funny. Oh my god.

It's got gold. We're panning for gold. Panning for podcast gold right here in the podcast directory I think in the last marketing material that I got about the podcast directory. It said You too can up your game Get noticed and break through the crowd Get noticed and break through the crowd What Yeah, no one gets

Correctory it doesn't even exist. I'm sure of it. I think it goes out to the people who paid to be in the directory which by the way I too got scammed into buying a page in the podcast directory one time until I realized that it never really came out. Where were my friends? Did they give it a trade show? Yeah. Every home in America is just like publisher's clearing house. It's gonna be everywhere.

You're gonna be famous, kid. You're gonna make a million dollars because you're in the podcast directory So that has nothing to do with your question But I'm sure the same people put together the podcast directory would love to teach you how to be funny for the low low price of 75 Yes It's hard to be it's hard to be It's hard to be socially awkward because I was social and still am socially awkward. But my friend, you too, your time will come. Be yourself and you will shine. I think I read that on a poster in an office one.

Oh my god, this poster says motivation. Oh, the motivational posters. Be a little serious. Oh my God, those posters, it says Motivational posters. Oh, the motivational posters. They're so good. There's like a whole site dedicated to the motivational posters. To making fun of them. Yeah.

Rise above. Join the podcast directory. Get on the horizon. You know, the picture of the sun. Break through the crowd. Podcast directory. Yeah. Another question, please. I'm ready. I'm on a roll now. I feel it.

Okay, here's the next question. Dear Uncle Brian, my husband bought a burial plot for himself and not me. I don't mean the laugh. a burial pot for himself and not me. I don't mean to laugh. Shhh. In fact, everyone else in the immediate family bought themselves a plot, but I was left out. We've been married 15 years. What is, should I be upset?

No, I think they're planning on you living forever. I think they're making me a subject you're in much better health than any of them. That's how I'd take it. This is a sticky wicked, if you will, Chrissy, because we don't like to talk about here in Western culture. Okay. But in the Eastern culture of which I have been schooled, like many travels to the east, Savannah, Georgia, and Charles Starrika. The east west part of Costa Rica, the east part of the town of Haco, my many journeys through my own spiritual imagination

and strip clubs and bars across East Atlanta. He's your East journey. Yeah, in East Atlanta, that's right. I, you didn't use to live in East Atlanta. I didn't. I wanted to be close to the mecca. You were the source. I wanted to be close to the me I wanted to be close to the mech magic city Checkers the burger place on I 20 off of Glenwood

That's where all of the enlightened people are hanging out Hey man, you got a dollar. That's a rhetorical question. I'm a podcaster. Of course, I don't have a dollar. I just gave it all to the podcast directory for a fortune in fame. You two can break through the crowd. What crowd?

No one reads it. Oh, man. I, back to set it. Back to set it. I wouldn't be particularly upset about this. I think when it comes to your death, you have to take matters into your own hands. Maybe your husband doesn't want to think about your death. Maybe he has a plot ready for you in the back yard.

Yes, the man already have something ready. Maybe he has a bucket in the basement where he intends to keep your head. Or a nice freezer that he says is for the venison. He's going to kill this here. Might be you. In that case, feel honored. He's got a special place in his heart and in his freezer for you. Of course, I'd be worried. Get the hell out of that house. Everyone around you's planning their death. What is this?

A cold? All right. This is strange. I would, yeah, I'd run. Consider yourself lucky. Yeah. I'm gonna get out of there. Oh. Keep them coming, having so much fun right now. Yeah, I mean, they're so good. Okay. I'm a 30 year old Uncle Brian. I'm a 30 year old gay man who recently got into pleasure in myself with dildos. I have a sea level job at an office. I've gotten so used to

blushing myself a few times a day that I want to bring it to work and use it there on my downtime, you know. Yes, I do. During lunch break. Down time. Seven of the eight hours you're in the office. I've had a sea level job too. It's just a lot of closing your office door, ignoring phone calls. Where do I hide it? Oh, where do I hide it? I took an unexpected left turn.

Yes. Well, you're bringing the D level to the sea level. Yes. And let me share a few hiding places that I've always felt were good. There's an obvious answer to this, my sea level friend, which is like the dildo in your ass. But I can understand that might be in comfortable all day.

During the weekly projections meeting. All day long. Yeah. If it's like the projection meetings I had a clear channel that will last all day long and be just like getting a dildo in your ass. I would be careful, step lightly about bringing the dildos to work. My first piece of advice is, you must, must, must, find it, give it to your assistants. Put it in a box of chocolate. To clean and to cold.

That's right. I've got an idea. Put in the podcast directory. No one will find it. Ah! Ah! Ah! Wrap it up in page 52 of the podcast directory.

You'll never be found. Yes. Get it Oh. Get advice. Get advice. Put it in something that appears to be personal. Put it in a briefcase with a locks. Put it in a box of chocolates that have those weird cherries in the middle that no one wants. Do things like that.

If you hide it in the right place, I've always found when I worked at office jobs that they have the drop ceiling, you can just kind of move those panels around up there. Just stick it on top of one of those panels. There's the fluorescent lights. That's right. You just put it, hide it in one of those drop ceiling for the fluorescent lights. If you smell burning rubber, know that it's one of two things. Someone smoking crack, or your dildos on fire.

Which could be both cases, like, which channel. I'll start it buzzing like, while he was in a meeting. The question wasn't, should I bring the dildo to work? The question is, where should I hide it? Uh-huh. Yeah, they're bringing it. Yeah, I knew the logistics of your office, the particulars, and I could give you some advice,

send us some photos, and we'll be happy to point out where you should hide it. But again, podcast, podcast directory is a good start. Okay, next. Next question. Dear Uncle Brian, our son and daughter-in-law married for about six years recently dropped a bomb on my husband and me That's why you get toilet spray. Oh, I'm sorry Poopery, squatty potty. Squatty potty, a poopy, go together. That's right.

They told us they're involved in a polyamorous relationship, where each other has another partner. They spend a lot of time with these people outside their marriage. You know, we're having a hard time understanding that. Of course, of course. We figured we would come to you, Uncle Brian. I, the natural place to come for a solid relationship advice. I, I want to make sure we keep an open mind about this, Chrissy. Yes.

Polyamory comes from the Latin phrase, meaning my failing marriage. And so let's be tender with our young ones as they're going through it. What must be a difficult phase of the relationship? No one really wants to see their wife sleep with someone else. They're doing it because they have to. In all seriousness, which this show never does, there's nothing wrong with Polly Emory. Each of their own. Each their own.

Maybe you'll get a TLC television show out of it. Yes. And bring some additional revenue into the house because everybody knows nothing solidifies a polyamorous relationship like a TLC show named My Seven Wipes. You're well on your way to fortune and fame. Yes, TLC should absolutely do this.

I know some friends who were into polyamory for a period of time. They found it didn't work for them and they came back to each other's arms. The jealousy boiled over and it led to many arguments. But in some cases, this type of lifestyle does work. So keep an open mind and make sure you have a divorce attorney handy.

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, oh, next question. I think we have time for two more. Okay. Yes. Let me get to one here.

Chris is reading through the podcast directly. I'm going to find a good show to listen to. Okay. Here we go. Here Uncle Brian. My boss is an asshole. He's a bully and always yelling at the staff. Because he's trying to find a place to hide his deal to.

That's the same boss. Yes, that makes sense. The podcast directory sales aren't going so well. Give the guy a break. Go ahead. Okay, he's a bully and always yelling at the staff. He comes in every morning and demands that one of the young ladies makes coffee and never says thank you Blames us for his mistakes and never gives us credit for the good things Recently I saw him with a woman other than his wife at a bar. Oh

The next morning he asked me to not say anything. What do I do? Interesting. You've got something on him now, girl. Yes. I normally don't point people in the direction of vengeance, but in this case, But in this case, I normally don't. More intense. Yeah, but 50% of the time I will. 49% of the time I will. Well, you know what you should do. You should follow him to the bar next time he goes. You should take these photographs and send them to his significant other.

Because this is what assholes require. They require, but you shove their ass hole in it. He called her into the room to ask her not to say anything. I asked her the next day not to say anything. Well, after he's been an asshole. I just want you to know, young lady, that the reason why I called you into the office was so that you wouldn't hurt after its feelings. If he's a bully, bully back. That's the only way that bully works. That's really the way it works. Yes. You could take one of two paths here. You could remain quiet, in silent, and say nothing, and know that at some point, maybe not now,

or maybe not anytime in the near future, that the universe will, if it's exact it's revenge. But it's probably better to just relax and send the photographs to his wife. I'm so sorry. Unless of course we're talking about the couple from the last question and he's allowed to be out on the streets sleeping with other people.

You never know how these things can go down and know that if his wife already knows this or his wife is down with him. I might be in a polyamorous. That's right. Why would he be asking her to say something? Well, that's true. I would say something.

It was an unapproved polyamorous girl. It's someone she doesn't know about. But you have to understand, this could backfire on you and the wife could go, you know, you're assistant from the office called me and told me all this information and be prepared to be fired the next day. Yeah. So find a new job before you do anything. Yeah. I mean, I think in that situation, if he's asking for something, then she should

hold that over him. Oh, for sure. For sure. Like, get your own like Dan, Chris, and Uncle Brian used to do it. Our office job. No. We saw some of that. We're the bathroom together at this trip. I can show up at 10 a.m. every morning. Just let me know.

Because I found this bag of cocaine on your desk this morning. because I found this bag of cocaine on your desk this morning. The Cheetah called you over $6,000 for the VIP room last night. And then your wife called and I'm trying to decide who to call back first. She said you have been home since last Tuesday of February. So I'm trying to figure out who to call back first. She said you have been home since last Tuesday of February. So I'm trying to figure out who to call back first. You owe me. Yeah, you owe me.

I'm taking the corporate credit card to Cabo. Okay. One more. All right, is there a final question? Okay, Uncle Brian. You may know, you may know a little something about this, about this that's close to your heart.

Okay. Dear Uncle Brian. Yeah. My friend gave me a dog and I don't want it. Kill it. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. What do I do?

Oh, this one strikes close to my heart. That's close to the bone. It's, yeah, it's, oh, how hard it's so good. Here's the thing about dogs. You can't kill him, you can't shut him up. I don't know why. In any universe, under any circumstances a friend would give you a dog unless you expressly had that conversation ahead of time.

It's a pretty big thing. My sister once was given a cat. Oh, as a gift? Yeah, like a friend gave her a cat and so she had to. Anybody, anyone who gives you a pet as a gift as a surprise gift is not a friend of yours They are in fact an enemy. They dislike you very much Animals are wonderful creatures dogs are loyal to beautiful And stagree the beautiful souls they come in they touch our hearts. They hurt our ears

They shit all over our floors. They scratch our walls, yeah, they chew our shoes. They push over our children. Eat the food from their hands. That's right, eat all the food my children are supposed to eat. Smell like rotting corpses, don't protect the house. They're wonderful, wonderful things. However, there is a 10 to 15 year commitment with any animal that you would get besides a

fish. A fish is a fantastic gift to get someone. Because you don't know. You got to get the whole aquariums at your age on that. You actually don't. You can just let them live in the bowl, a cereal bowl, until they die. And then you say, well, it was a fish.

However, if your puppy dies tomorrow, you're gonna be, everyone's gonna be like, what happened to the dog? Ah, ah, ah, I left him in the cereal bowl. I don't know. I thought he was fine. I love, love dogs. I've had them almost my entire fine. I love love dogs. I've had them almost my entire life.

I think they're wonderful. We're big animal lovers, but they're huge responsibilities and to give you an animal and expect that you're going to take care of it because you guys are friends is an asshole move. So I would delete them from Facebook and then give the dog to another friend you don't care about as a gift to them. Re-gift that dog immediately before you get attached. Re-gift the dog. Yes.

So, that's the way we do it. Oh, another fantastic episode of Ask Uncle Brian, here on the commercial break. Wow, that was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah, absolutely. I'm told out some really great. And I got to say, sorry, that music was playing in the background too. I was like, what does that noise?

I realized I had both songs playing. So, excuse me for that side, little production snafu. I'm not going to throw away the whole show just because it's your bother. Another episode, fantastic episode of The Commercial Break. Find us in the podcast directory. Yes, go out and get your copy right away from where I don't know. Yeah, listen, I'm sure of the 300,000 people that listen to us every month, at least half of those are from the podcast director. We should give credit where credit is due for sure. Another episode in the can, thank you very much for listening to us.

You can do us a huge favor. We have a lot of people that often, and not a lot of people, but some people will say, hey, how can they support the show? Right? Do you have a subscription? I know. Send us PayPal or straight to Venmo. Right. They're like, you know, can we support the show in this way or in that way? The best way that you can support the show is one of two ways. You can leave us a review and a rating on your favorite podcast player, CastBox, PodBeat, Overcast, Google, Stitcher, Apple, Spotify, any of those. You can give five stars on Spotify now.

It's a new thing. Cool. You can please do that because then we show up on these little charts. And those charts, believe it or not, are the actual true podcast directories. People really do find new podcasts to listen to, especially on the Apple charts. And so it helps us grow the show. Why does that matter to you? When we grow the show, our sponsors like that, and that allows us to spend more time here

in the studio creating content. So while I don't think there'll be a four episodes a week anytime soon, just know that we, you know, the couple of dollars we make every single time we have a sponsor goes into the production of this show and we really appreciate it. And so, and that begs another next question. Some people have said too many ads in the show. I appreciate that. I totally understand.

There's sometimes two, maybe 30% of the time there's three and then like 10% of the time there can be four. I know. If it was up to you, I know we'd have zero and I get it. It's up to me I'd have zero. But it's one of the small ways we can recoup what is ended up being a very expensive venture in Topot Gasey.

I mean, when you were spending $700 a year to get your name in a directory that never comes out, you can imagine. Costs that up. It's just a small way for us to recoup the cost for- And for me not to go back to an office job. So, Chrissy doesn't have to go back to an office job. She can be on call 24 hours a day. And you know, it's probably gonna-

It's- Oh, never mind, I'm not going to go that. Anyway, I totally understand, do us a favor. If you hear the advertisements and there's a specialized, specialized URL or code on the back of it, use it if you're in the market for the products or services. That really helps us out a great deal. Go to tcbpodcast.com, all the audio, all the video right there from one place. You can watch it all. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. I try and put out a clip of these episodes every single day of the week. Chrissy and I do tcb in the studio,

which is content you can't find anywhere else except for the commercial break YouTube page. And we wish that you would subscribe if you can subscribe and like and comment on any videos That you find interesting at the commercial break on Instagram. We're doing a lot of content You can't find anywhere else there. Also 661 best the number two yo 661 2 3 7 8 2 9 6 we're looking for single people and we're looking for people who want to play games single people Who want to probably games single people who want to Polly whatever you are. I don't care. You can be a fucking horse who likes the screw chickens. I don't give a shit 6612378296. We're gonna play a dating game and we're gonna have some game shows coming up in the summer

And we need people to play so thank you to the people who have written in I'll get back to you Don't worry. We'll schedule you a time and if you interested, hit us up, let us know there's gonna be prizes. And one of them is gonna be a date with me. Ha ha. My new polyamorous relationship. And one of them is a podcast directory spread. We're gonna do it for you, the listeners of TCB. Okay, so now that I've gotten through all the show liners, I'd like to say the following.

I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say we do say we must say bye. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm a slave, I'm a slave