The Commercial Break - The Vapid Vanishing Valet!

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

EP939: Bryan gets an invite to the Zoltan comedy show and decides to make a night of it. Ha-Ose, Mayte and Astrid going Bryan as he drives  the gang to the event. When the valet parking turns out to be a total sh*t show,  Bryan get's taken for an elevator ride with a ghost hotel manager and a missing valet.  TCB is a The Commercial Break LLC production Visit: www.TCBpodcast.com Insta: @thecommercialbreakBryan Green on Insta: @BryanWGreen Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Created by: Bryan Green Written by: Bryan Green, Krissy Hoadley Produced by: Astrid Green & Gustavo  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this episode of the commercial break. We get out of the elevator. There are at least three or four turns to get to the lobby. Now, I'm smart enough to know how to get from an elevator to a hotel lobby. You just listen for the noises, right? And so I'm walking, and he's right behind me, you know? And I go to the front desk, and there is no one there. And the guy walks around the thing.

And he goes, hi, can I help you? I go, can you help me? that. It did. I go, I go, yeah, I'm trying to get a code. You just told me to get it. For the parking lot.

And he goes, who told you to get the code? And I go, you did! You and that girl. You just, I was just down there. I'm like totally freaking out. I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind here. The fuck is going on. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh, yeah. Cass and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you?

Having audio problems. You talk. It happens every time after we come back to vacation. I know, it does. There's little tweaks. I don't know why. I can't hear out of my left ear. It's really weird.

Huh. Well, whatever. Okay, I'll just hear out of my right ear. I probably have to get a new pair of these things. I've had them for, like, Five, four years? Four years? They're good, but I mean, you know, how long, I guess they, they can only last as long as they last, right? At some point, nothing lasts forever. Nothing lasts forever. But these things are expensive. So I wish it would last forever,

because we don't have any money in the budget for extra earphones. We've got to pay medical bills. All right. All right. So I was talking yesterday about my excitement around the New York Nickenbockers and how they... Yes, and then they won. And then they won. That was the most unbelievable finish to a game I have ever seen in my entire life. That's crazy. I wasn't watching it, but it was like a record-breaking comeback. I was texting with somebody that I work with this morning, and I was saying that I had just about fallen asleep when the second half of the game started. They were down by 23 points. The largest lead ever in an NBA final after two quarters, and I thought, well, that was fun.

Yeah, the Knicks lost their magic. Thanks, Trump. And then I just was like had it on my on my phone pillow. I was watching. Just eyes a flutter, ready to fall into dream. And then all of a sudden, three-pointer after three-pointer, after three-pointer, after great defensive play, after great defensive play, I went from, this sucks, to oh, ah, ah, wow. Maybe, possibly. Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah. They did it. And they did it in a fantastic style, I might add. What an end to a game that will be talked about for a long time. And so here we are. We go to game five. What will happen? Do they come back for the seventh game to New York? I don't know. I don't know either. Is it two, two and three? What's that? Are they in San Antonio tonight? Tomorrow night? I think today's a

travel day. They'll give them a travel day. They'll give them that. They give them the travel day. So at least they got that. Wait, hold on. Was the first one played in San Antonio? The first two were played in San Antonio. The first two. Okay. And then second two have been up in New York. That's right. Now they're going. Got it. Okay. There you go.

Well, hopefully they'll just clinch it. Listen, I'm all about it. I really hope that these guys... Like since 73 or something? I just... I think I read 73. 1973 was the last time to the New York, Nick and Bockers. There we go.

Did I get it? Okay. Did I get it? No, I didn't. Fucking motherfucker. You're still playing. I'm still playing with my headphones. Sorry about that.

I guess I'm just going to live with one headphone. So, 1973 is the last time. Nicks were won the championship and they, they're a long-suffering team like the Chicago Cubs. So I get it. However, I don't agree with beating up the Spurs fans after the game on Monday. Did that happen? Yes.

They were like chasing down people in Spurs jerseys and beating them up. They were tearing the city apart. There was one guy who was pleading, like all these idiots fucking shaking the polls and trying to pull them down and jumping on cars. And there was one guy, one voice of reason was like, guys, this is our fucking city. This is our fucking city. What are you doing? And he got the shit kicked out of him.

I mean, it's just like, I don't understand. I guess I don't play that game. Like, why? It's a game. Everyone's going to be okay. We're all going to survive if the Knicks lose a game. Why are we beating people up and jumping on cars? Even in my wily youth, I don't think I would have thought to do any of that.

I just don't go, like I'm not that kind of crowd mentality. You're a lover, not a fighter. I am. I'm a lover, not a fighter, because I can't fight. But you big strong muscle boy. A big strong muscle boy. Oh, I forgot to mention one part when I got rolled over and as we were getting close to the end of the massage, she started like rubbing, like, you know, doing the chest muscles and then my stomach muscles. And she goes, oh, you have big abs, big abs strong.

And I was like, who are you massaging? Are you piping in that? Are you, you have a VR headset on? where you're looking at someone else all together. Yes. So New York, Nick and Bockers, one last night. I was really excited to see that. It kept me up way too late, but I'm very happy to see that.

Braves are on an incredible terror. The Braves are doing very well. They are excited about that. Chicago Cubs are doing very well. I'm very excited about that. Look at that. And today starts the World Cup. There's a lot of excitement in the house about this.

Oh, I bet. I was thinking about you guys. Yeah, we are very excited here. Do you have what, I mean, what are the teams? Is it just, give me a little, tutorial on the whole FIFA thing. If you don't mind. Okay.

Is it just, is it, I mean, I know what it is. There are like, there are different groups, ABCD, E and F, I think, groups, and then you go and you play a bunch of different games in your group. And those who have the best record then move on to the next round and then the next round and then that's, so is it just like a free for all? Everybody starts off with a chance. Everybody starts off with a chance. There are points that are gained for winning, for winning the game.

There are points that are gained for goals scored. There can be ties. Yeah. There are, there can be tied. No, I'm saying like overall, like you have points and those points move you on to the next round and the next round and the next round.

They're all countries. So, you know, there's professional leagues all around the world and then they play for their respective countries. So, you know, there are always favorites. There are lots of European teams that do very well.

There's some teams from Africa that do very well. Teams from South America that do very well. And then there's the Euro. U.S. which nobody expects to do anything. But they could. They're not bad. They're just not great. And so I think that, you know, home field advantage here means shit because people go crazy over the World Cup. They're supposed to come in from all around the world. But that didn't happen, as was reported today. I mean, if I was from out of the country, I don't know that I'd be wanting to come. I would have zero interest in coming to this country under the current circumstances, under the current administration.

I would be scared shitless if I had a visa. to come, even if I had a visa, to come into this country. There are some people in Germany, I think, is it Germany or Switzerland, one of those two, who had their visa, oh, no, the UK that were all set to come over with their ETSs, their electronic visas. They were all set with their ETSAs. And then this week, before they got on airplanes, the status went from approved back to pending. And so they can't get into the country. One of the referees has already been detained by ICE because he was from Somalia,

because, of course, he was from Somalia, a majority Muslim country. And, of course, you know, I guess we just hate all those people now. I just don't get it. I just don't get all of the, it's so much drama for absolutely no reason, for no fucking reason. Listen, immigration is a problem that needs to be fixed. But I don't think that the majority of people who can pay to come over here and have tickets to a FIFA World Cup game where they start at like $1,000 a ticket are the people who are going to abscond and cause the country a bunch of trouble. You have a visa system for a reason. You can electronically find out who

anybody is in their background in seconds. So do your vetting, do it properly, approve the visas, and let them come in without fucking accosting them at every turn. That's just fucking dumb shit. It's just dumb shit. And the problem is, the problem now is, is that places like New York City, where there are a lot of games that are being played, including the final, they expected to see like a 27% increase in rooms sold, in flights in, in dollars, and in people. A million point eight people is what they expected extra to see this summer because of the World Cup. They now have adjusted that down, 67%. 60% of the people they estimated would show up to the country to watch these games have not materialized because of course they don't want to come. They don't like

the country. They don't like how it's run. They don't like the immigration policies. And they're afraid they're going to get put in a fucking gulag for a endless amount of time until whoever decides to get their head out of their ass and let them go back home or or into the country. It's scary. It's stupid. It's just, it's just a dumb policy making is what it is. And it is absolutely, absolutely based on racism and discrimination. That's all. Your dislike for someone else's religion, the way that they look, the way that they act, the way that they live. That's it. That's the only reason. There is no other reason. Okay. There's no one coming down through the southern border anymore. Congratulations, you locked it up. I'm not saying I disagree with that. I'm just saying congratulations,

you locked it up. Isn't that good enough? Now, go get the criminals out of here and then be done with it. Do what every other president has done, including Obama, who deported like a million people in the last four years of his administration, he was called the deporter in chief because he did it, but you don't see the same kind of noise. Number one, I understand. It's because of the media. They don't, you know, they don't beat up the Democratic presidents as much as they do, the Republican presidents. But number two, because Obama was looking for people who actually needed to get out of the fucking country because they were criminals, had overstayed their visa or otherwise were not contributing members of society. I get that. I understand it. But just like randomly grabbing people off the street for no

reason or at the airport, it's just dumb. It's a dumb policy. Anyway, Rush is back together. Did you see Rush? Back to FIFA. Yeah, FIFA. So the World Cup starts today. Very excited. When's Venezuela playing?

I don't know that Venezuela is in the World Cup, actually. They've only been in like three times, and I don't think they're in this year. So you had to kind of qualify. Yes, you have to qualify. Venezuela World Cup. I don't think they're in. Okay. Failed to qualify.

And then when does the U.S. The only South American. nation never to reach the men's World Cup finals. So the U.S. plays on Friday. USA, their first game is on Friday. So we'll watch that. And is that in L.A.? Yeah, I think it's in L.A. Yeah. And there's a couple games that are here in Atlanta, too. There's a group D is here in Atlanta or something like that. Yeah, it starts on the 15th year. But, you know, again, I don't think it's going to cause a lot of drama because I don't think there's many people that came for it. And so I think it's mainly Americans or, you know, citizens or

green card holders who are going to be in these in these games and had a thousand dollars a fucking ticket i mean phifa is just as corrupt as it is ever been as it could possibly be did they give uh president trump like the world peace prize the fifa world peace prize some bullshit that that corrupt-ass president of fita put together so he could lick the undercarriage of that orange hairy fucking twad that dwattles around the white house unbelievable but let's all but let's all get ready for F.C. 250 this weekend under the incredibly disgusting stage that they have put together that eclipses anything in Washington, D.C. that you can see from 30 miles away. By the way, we were flying, flying home the other day and off in the distance, guess what I see, the light show

from that fucking claw. They were testing it, that light show from that fucking claw. You could see it through the window. I was 20,000 feet in the sky and probably 100 miles away, and I could see the lights flying into the sky. It's unbelievable. Why? Why are we doing that? It's wild. I heard there was actually a big rat problem, too. There's a rat problem. There's a mosquito problem. There's a gnat problem. And now there's thunderstorms that are supposed to be coming their way. So you know what? God bless you. You get what you deserve. That's it. Okay. Anyway, rush is back together. I did see that. The banned rush. Jeff has been geeking out on the Is Rush a Jeff, Jeff a Rush fan?

Jeff is a Rush fan? Like a big Rush fan or just like a I like Rush? He's a big Rush fan. Like huge. Yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah, moderately big. Yeah, okay.

There are two kinds of Rush fans. There are three kinds of people in this world. People who would die for Rush, people who say rush, yeah, rush is good. And then people who just have no interest in Rush whatsoever. It's a highly technical, different kind of music that I never got into. I am one of those people that say, yeah, I like some. Russia's songs. That's me too. I'm like, yeah, I like Rush. But I don't want to listen to a concept album from beginning to end. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. It's not for me. It's... Yeah, but there's the new drummer. She's incredible. Oh, incredible. Incredible. Bad ass. I mean, really, she's from Germany. Incredibly. And just, I mean, was killing it. I said there and watched, I guess there was like this Jeff something, this YouTube, because he was talking about it so much. I was like, send it to me. Okay, wait to see. So I guess somebody had like positioned the camera to just like kind of really be on her. Yeah. I mean, so. She's so focused and just so good.

She's incredible. Yeah, it gave me goosebumps. I was like, you go, girl. She is just like. And to replace Neil Perth. Yeah. Neil Perth, who is one of the most incredible musicians who ever lived, not even drummers, musicians. The way that that guy drummed, listen, I don't.

And let me tell a story. When I was in Chopper Johnson, remember Chopper Johnson? Yes, thank you. Chopper Johnson, one of the two dick-themed bands that I was in. I know. I both did. One of my two phallic-related bands that I was in. When I was in Chopper Johnson, I think I've told this story, but I'll tell it again.

At this point, I've told all the stories. I'm just telling them again. Refresher memory. Yeah, there's a new detail somewhere. You've got to squeeze out the content all the time. When I was in that band, we recorded an album. Oh, I remember. When I recorded that album, I learned that the band had a manager.

I didn't even know this for, like, the first four weeks I was in the band. and that band manager, the basest of my band, had been taken in as a street runaway in Ontario, Canada, had been taken in by an older gentleman. That older gentleman's name was Howard Ungerleiter, who for the first 25 years of Rush's existence was their tour, lighting, and stage director. He was like, he was in the band, essentially. He was like the fourth member of the band. Howard Ungerlider came into town with the band Rush when they came to the Omni in 1990. six on the whatever tour they were on. He came and he spent a couple of days with us and we spent a couple of days with Rush two days while they were setting up, did the show and then on their way out of town.

So we spent two days with the band Rush and Howard listened to our brand new album, Chopper Johnson's a brand new album, to which he said, it's terrible. It's terrible. And it destroyed the band. It destroyed all of us. We were so bummed out. Yeah, that's a bummer for sure. I think he said, Brian, I like some of your lyrics, and I appreciate the phrasing in some of the parts, but you guys got to do better.

No one's going to buy this album. And I was like, okay. This is why we need someone in studio. They can do their noises for me. Where's the trombone? See, it's already gone. Why would I, you know, now it's, nope, that's not it. So we spent all this time, recorded this album.

It took like 10 days of blood, sweat and tears. I could, the band had me stop talking. I couldn't talk for 10 days. I could only sing. And I was in this fucking bathroom that they had set up as a vocal booth. And I was just good take after take after take and layering my voices and, you know, going up and harmonizing with myself and all this. other stuff. And the first words that came out of his mouth after the 43-minute album played was,

it's terrible. It's terrible. This is terrible. You guys are terrible. This is not good. But on the bright side, you have nobody listening to you anyway. So I guess you can't go any further down. So Howard Ungerlider took us to the Omni two days. We got to hang out with Rush two days. That's cool. And I met all the guys, Getty and Neil and I can't remember the other guys. But anyway, I found Getty to be very heady and heavy. I found the guitarist was practicing Mandarin Chinese. Yeah, they're all like really smart.

They're all super smart. They're all Mensa members for sure. And that's the kind of music they play, is the kind of really heady music that has a lot of signature time changes and chord changes. And it's really technical music. Now, of course, they have their hits, like their melodic hits, you know, Tom Sawyer and all that other stuff. But really, they are very, they're highly technical. If you like Steve Vi, Stevie Vi, if you even know who that is, then you're probably a Rush fan. Because it's just so technical.

And some people really appreciate that kind of mathematical music. It's not for me. I was never good at math and I was never good at music. So putting those two together is not a good thing. I like, you know, I'm more of a, I don't know, like I can. candlebox kind of guy. Now me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. However, I had many friends who were Rush fans.

I had many fans who were into everything that Rush did. I had many friends who just died to listen to Rush, like it was their entire life. They built a whole universe around Rush, and therefore, Rush has been incredibly popular for a long time. And now they're back after 50 years of being a band. They're doing some series of shows with this new drummer. And it's all over my feed. I don't know why, but it's all over my feed.

It is fucking insane how good this woman is. She really is. And I think someone said it in one of the comments on one of these clips that probably best encapsulates what I agree with. This is not a sycophant of Neopert like so many drummers are. They just want to emulate what he did. This is a woman who is technically a superior drummer on her own. been known for a long time to be a superior drummer. And an instructor. And instructor. But she is not a sycophant. She is not a follower of Neil Pert. She is in her own right, a very technical, a person who can do

demanding kind of signature changes. She's known for this stuff. She's got her own fan base. She's her own drummer. But she fits right to fuck in. Like, it does give you chills when you watch her nailing these fills that only Neil Purt could ever do in anyone's mind. And you hear the crowd just go fucking crazy. They're for her. They want her to be. They wanted to work out, right? You say, of course, but it's 2006, and these are Rush fans.

Largely men who may or may not have trouble getting late. They're men. They're men. They're all guys. I mean, not all of them, but there's a lot of guys in the audience. And you say, of course, but that's not always how it goes. I guess that's true. But I think enough

time has passed to where for them to be able to hear it again live? Yeah. That's, you want to cheer for that. Yeah. You cheer and she's so tight with the band, and they've obviously been putting the work in. Because he died, when did he die? 11 years ago. Yeah, 11 years ago. Yeah. So it's been a while and people want their live rush. They want their live rush, and she fits right in, and I couldn't be happier for the whole situation. I think it's great. I think it's awesome. Allison Hare is one of the- She's a huge rush fan. One of the few females that I know that is a huge rush fan. Apparently it was her first concert. So last night I was texting with her,

and she was saying that she bought tickets to go see them in New York, which is a huge deal. Like you're flying up to New York to go see a band, right? And she's so fucking excited about this. And I told her my Chopper Johnson story. And she's like, how have I known you for all this time? You never told me that story. And I'm like, I don't know. Don't you listen to my show?

Listen to my show. Listen to the commercial break and you would have known, Allison. By the way, you can go and listen to Chrissy and I's interview with Allison. We kind of did a show swap. We were both on each other's shows. And you can go listen to that. I think it was on last week. If you are so interested.

Okay, let's take a break. I want to get back into the time that we took away. We had three weeks and a lot of stories. Lots. And I'm nibbling at the edges here. Yesterday I told the story about after I got back. Today I'm going to tell a story about before I went. I went and saw Zoltan, our friend Zoltan.

Do you remember Zoltan? Yes, yes. We got a last-minute invite to go see Zoltan. And I'll tell you all about how that all went down. Yeah, when we get back. Sounds good. By the way, Zoltan is the best live comic I have seen since Chris Rock. Really?

Hands down. Okay. Hands down. So if Zoltan is within 100 miles of you, you have to go, you wouldn't think so, right? I mean, who had heard of Zoltan before he came on our show? We did this. And I'm going to tell you about how, because Zoltan was on our show, I got recognized at the Zoltan show. Really?

Yep. I'll tell you all about it. we get back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy at TCB Podcasts.com.

Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333-3-T-CB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe.

Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. Best to you, best to you, best to you, best to you, best to you. Why do those things end sometimes?

I don't know if the whole song came up. Anyway, okay, all right. So, right before I left, like the weekend that I was going, I got a series of messages from Mark, I'll shout him out at Surf Dog Entertainment, who is Zoltan's manager. I meant, I commented, Zoltan and I, had done a little Instagram back and forth after he came on the show a couple of months ago. You can go look for that episode. He was our last, I think.

I think he was the last person that we interviewed. But we might do some more celebrity interviews, so stay tuned. But he, so him and I did a little back and forth. And then I commented on one of his clips a couple of weeks before I left. And then Mark, his manager, jumped in, I thought I was talking to Zoltan. I was talking to Mark, right? It was like kind of weird. You know, sometimes like there's multiple people managing an account.

Uh-huh. And so he says, hey, thanks, Brian. blah, blah, blah, blah. You should come to the show, and he was coming to Atlanta. So we jump in the car. We go with Jose. Remember Jose? Remember Jose when Astrid was busting my balls? Yes, I do. Okay. So Jose, Maite, and Asterod and I, I say, she asked them and they say, yeah, but only if we can take you to dinner. Like, we'll go with you, but only if we can take you to dinner, which is an acceptable. I paid no money for mine. You pay. money for yours. And for me, because I'm not going to, I got to eat too. And so we go out to a lovely dinner at Roommies. We're going to go to center stage theater. Roommies. I am really into

Mediterranean food right now. I've been to a Lebanese restaurant. I went to a Greek restaurant. I was in Spain eating all kind of Mediterranean food. I've been to now Roomies. I went to an African place in London, an African food place, like a North African Mediterranean. Oh my God. Chrissy. I'm I'm all about these flavors and spices. Oh, I love it. Except for saffron. Can't do saffron. But all right.

Sometimes it's too much. Yeah, they just like throw it all over the place. It gets stuck in your teeth. It has this overwhelming. It's like, what's that mushroom that I hate? The fungus that grows. The type of mushroom? Yeah, it's like the $1,000 mushroom that you can put.

Truffle. Truffle oil. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is, by the way, truffle oil is not truffle. It's some. Yes. made up truffle thing, okay? And don't put it on my food.

It fucking can't stand it. But damn it. So we pick them up as we do. I don't mind being the designated driver. Pick them up, go to Roommies. We have a wonderful meal there. But here is what happened. So Astrid decides last minute she's going to buy some parking for Center Stage.

There's very little parking at Center Stage. And she decides she's going to buy some parking. So she buys parking at a hotel that is close to Center Stage Theater. We drive down Peach Street. street. We have a little bit of trouble finding this place, but we pull into it. It is an alleyway in between two big buildings. And when you go down the alleyway, you can only have one car on that alleyway. It's a one-way street. So we pull down and instantaneously, I recognize like we are going down this hill, but there is a guy trying to back up, like, you know, trying to back up

down this one-way alley. Oh, no. So I'm like, bam-p-pah-bap-bamp. You know, I'm telling them, hey, listen, dude, don't be a jackhole. You can only go one way. Yeah, now you can't back up. Okay. So eventually this guy recognizes that I'm behind him and he's going to hit me and he decides to try and make a 26-point turn to try and get out. Yes, in this alley. Oh, no. And so here I am.

Now I'm going to be a real asshole. Now I'm like, eh-and-and. Come on, man. You can barely fit. I think I was probably like sweating and trying to turn. I know. He's like, eh, eh, ain't, eh. Back up.

Go forward. Back up. Eventually this genius recognizes that he's not going to figure this out, and he pulls into a parking lot. So imagine two big buildings going down a steep slope one way, you know, just fits one car down in there. And there are two entrances, one on the left and one on the right. Both parking decks. One is for the building to the left, but we're going to the parking deck to the right. So I pull into this.

So he eventually goes to the parking deck to the left and I pull into the parking deck on the right. and there is a valet stand right there and the doors to the hotel right there, like the basement of this hotel, this whatever it is, Holiday and Marriott. I don't know what the fuck it is. Okay. So I pull in and there is a young lady who looks extraordinarily frazzled, aka high on something, who is taking care of another customer in front of me, taking, you know, figuring out what their...

Is this like you're at the hotel lobby? I'm at the hotel. I'm on the parking deck. Okay. But there's a little area where there's a valet stand next to the doors to the hotel. Yeah. She's the valet? She's the valet.

Oh, got it. Okay. So she's now helping this person in front of me. And she takes the car. She gets, like people get out. She takes the car. Chrissy. She's gone.

She's gone. That's like Bears Beeler's Day off. This is. lady drives down straight. Imagine this. It's a parking deck, but we're on a floor. On that floor, right, past the doors to the hotel are maybe 10 parking spaces to your right, and then you would fall out of the parking deck if you went to the left, right? But there is nowhere else to go. Like, you have to back out and then go down that alleyway again to get to the lower floors of the parking deck. It's not one of those where you just turn around. There's. There's a

There's just 10 spaces right there. Okay. Right? The lady goes to the end of that little, the end of this little road, whatever you call it, in the parking deck, turns the car to the right. And for the next 15 minutes, there is no sign of this woman whatsoever. And I'm like, what is going on here? So it's me and Hosset and Astrid and Maite. And we're all like, they get out of the car and I say, listen, guys, I want you to go ahead with our dinner reservations.

And I'll take care of this. And they're like, no, whatever, you know, we'll stay here. So we're sitting on this bench in front of the hotel doors. And eventually I start walking down this row of parking spaces to see if I can find if this woman is okay. 15 minutes is a long time to be parking one car. And I see at the end of that lane that she has pulled into a parking space that's blocked by a wall so I couldn't see it where I was standing. But the car is on. The brake lights are on.

And the woman, I can see her head in the car. And I'm like, wait, hold on. She took that car, 10 parking spaces down, parked it. And now she's been sitting in that car for over 15 minutes. What could be wrong or could be going? Right. I think eventually she saw me peeking at her back of her head. And she got out of the car.

And she starts walking. She's like, I got you. I got you. And she goes, do you, are you? Did you park? And I go, no, my car is right there. And she goes, are you here for valet? And I go, oh, yeah, I'm here for.

Yes. I'm here for valet. And she goes, okay, I'm the valet. And I go, I know. Yes. It says it on your name tag. It's right there. Right.

You were standing at the valet stand when I drove in. And you took the car. Did you not notice me? Right. That there's a car standing right there? And she goes, which one is your car? There's only one car there. I go, it's that one that's still on and the door wide open.

It's that one. And she goes, okay, just give me a few minutes. And I was like, okay, no problem. she goes into the doors to the hotel and goes there's two sets of elevators one on the right one on the left and then there's bathrooms like to the right in the hallway to the right she goes into the bathrooms she's gone for another five to seven minutes no what is going on here now all of us are completely confused right we're like I don't know what's going on a gentleman comes the elevator dings a gentleman comes out of the elevator big guy big white guy you know big like you know but kind of like little

Oafy kind of, you know, he comes out, he opens the door and he goes, are you waiting for somebody? Are you waiting for a car? And I go, no, that's my car. And I'm waiting to get it valeted. And he goes, okay, great. She'll be right here. And I go, no, no, she's here. She just went to the bathroom. And he goes, oh, okay, she probably had to go to the bathroom. And I go, uh-huh, what universe did I get dropped into here? Is this dumb as dick day? Is this the dumbest, shit you've ever heard. Okay, five to seven minutes later, lady comes out, magically appears. She is high on something. Hose is a doctor, and he even recognized. He's like, something's going on with that. Like, that is not normal behavior. The eyes are big as saucers, like, you know,

scattered all over the place. And I'm like, I just want her to park the car safely. That's all I wanted to do. Okay. Aster has purchased this parking previous. And so she comes, she stands at the desk and she goes, okay, that's your car? And I go, yes, that's my car. And she goes, okay, it's going to be $26. And I go, no, no, no, we prepaid for parking. And she goes, you prepaid for parking, how? And I go, well, on this app. And so I show up, show her the app. And she's reading it. And she goes, okay, yeah, this is our hotel. And I go, yeah, I know. Okay. And she goes, all you need to do is go upstairs and get a code. And I go, okay, the guy that came downstairs is standing next to her. And he goes, he goes, he goes, and I go, I have to go upstairs to the where. And she goes, you go upstairs to the front desk, you get a code, you bring it back down to me, and then I, and then your parking is paid for. And I'm like, okay, great, fantastic. And the guy goes, who's the guy? The guy goes, you can go upstairs and get the code. And I was like, okay. So now I go to walk in the door. Now Asterden and all these people are, you know, Astrid and Jose and Maita are sitting there. And they're all like, they're laughing at this.

I think this is funny, right? I'm not so laughing. I'm kind of fine getting irritated by this situation. We've now been in this parking lot for 26 minutes. Zoltan's halfway through his set, and we haven't had dinner yet. So I'm like, okay. So I open the door to go upstairs. And as I open the door, the guy walks in the door, the guy that was there, the manager,

what I can only assume is a manager of the hotel walks in the door. And he goes and I follow him and he presses the button to go up to the elevator. And he looks at me while we're waiting and goes, how you doing? And I go, good. And he goes, and I go, is it the first floor that I got to go to? And he's like, yeah, the same floor I'm going to go to. And I go, okay. And so, get in there. He presses the button, whatever floor it is, you know, one up. We go up. We get out of the elevator. There are at least three or four turns to get to the lobby. Now I'm smart enough to know how to get from an elevator to a hotel lobby. You just listen for the noises, right? And so I'm walking and he's right behind me, you know? And, and I'm walking. And he's right behind me.

You know? And I go to the front desk and there is no one there. And the guy walks around to the thing. And he goes, hi, can I help you? I go, can you help me? He didn't say that. He did. I go, I go, yeah, I'm trying to get a code.

You just told me to get it. For the parking lot. And he goes, who told you to get the code? And I go, you did. You and that girl. you're just where i was just down there i'm like totally freaking out i'm like i'm losing my fucking mind here the fuck is going on and he goes okay hold on one second and he and then he goes can i see your can i see the where you the thing and i i show him he picks up the phone and he goes

yeah guys here for a code do you know the code to the parking lot and then he hangs up the phone after a few seconds and goes i'm not sure what the code is And I look and on the receipt, there's a code. Okay. And I go, I got it. Yeah, I got the code. I go downstairs. I go downstairs.

And I shit you negatively. The woman is gone again. She's gone. Is your car still there? My car's still there. But she's gone. And there's another family that's standing there. And I'm like, what is going?

going on here. And Jose or Mite or whoever, they go, oh, she went to get their car. And I'm like, okay, I look down the aisle and there's one of those cars has the headlights on. But the woman's not going anywhere. She's not taking the car out. She's sitting in the fucking car. The fuck is happening. So I say to everybody, go, go, please, go. Make sure we can at least get something to eat after all this drama. So they go ahead. Chrissy, it's another 10. minutes before this woman took my car. And at this point, I just wanted to make sure my car was safely in somewhere. Right. Because I don't know. What was she doing in your car later? She took my car and she got out of it. So, you know, and I didn't, I keep my cars pretty clean.

I got to have anything in there. Anybody would be interested in? Yeah. I learned my lesson when I live downtown Atlanta not to put anything in your car. So I was like, you know, okay, whatever. We go to Rumi's. We have a wonderful dinner, lovely. And then we walk over and we go see the Zoltan show. Zoltan had a couple of openers. I failed to remember their names. They were both adequate, funny, got good starters for Zoltan, good primers of the pump. Zoltan came out and did what Jose referred to as a perfect hour of hilarious. That's how he described it. A perfect hour of hilarious. And I will tell you what, I can't disagree. The way that Zoltan uses his body, first of all, his comedy is very present, meaning he talked about the Michael Jackson movie. He talked about the Michael Jackson movie. He talked. about some stuff that was just happening in the world that you knew that he had to have made of this material in the last week or two. It wasn't particularly, it wasn't stale. It was very present. He told stories about him and his wife. It's very situational type of comedy. And the way

that he uses his body, his facial expressions, and his timing and his comic timing is as good as I have ever seen on stage with a comedian. And now I've seen quite a few of them. And this was just like, Zoltan was so fucking good. I thought to my... See that one? They did a lot of crowd work too? Or was that another guy? No. His Instagram is filled with a lot of crowd work.

But so is everybody else's, because that's what's trending right now, right? But Zoltan actually does very little, if any, crowd work. He does, he had some conversation in the crowd at, you know, at the beginning at parts. but it wasn't a lot of crowd work. It was mainly him on stage. Center stage, 1,500 people. Small place. We had great seats, center, you know, behind the sound board.

I like it, too. And it was very nice of him and Mark to give us these tickets. And at the end, Zoltan says, listen, I'm going to go out. I'm going to sign whatever you got. You know, they're telling me that the fire marshal is telling me that he can't have a crowd here after 1030. We only got a half an hour.

So if you want to leave, please do. Right? It's like, I'm not telling you to stay. I'm not telling you to leave. I'm just saying if you're not interested in waiting in line for something, a signature, I'll get you next time. I'd be happy to take a picture, but let's keep it fresh. He was just so, like, accommodating and nice and sweet.

And when he left, you know, he was like, can I, I want to take a picture of everybody. And he took a couple of pictures. You can see me in the pictures. And then he turned around and he looked at my way and I went like this and he did it back to me. I just love, he's going to be back on the show. I just love Zoltan. I love his comedy. I think it was so good.

And I know I say, I know I can be exclamatory a lot about the comedians that I love, the music that I love, the movies that I like. I'm telling you right now, I say this without a bit of irony or no explanation, exclamation point at the end. Zoltan is fucking good at what he does. Go see him. before he's doing rooms like State Farm Arena. Huge, yeah. Because he will be doing them. Because I saw, what's his name at State Farm Arena?

Oh, yeah, Bargazzi. Bargazzi, who's a completely clean comic Zoltan is not. But Bargazzi uses his facial expressions and his comic timing in a very similar manner. He's even less expressive than Zoltan is, but he does that. And the way that Bargazzi did this like in the round type of comedy where the cameras were kind of stalking him and you could see it on the screen even if you were far away is the type of show that I could imagine Zoltan doing and being really like filling a room like that and being really good at. That's exciting. I told this manager I had a conversation on the phone a couple of days

ago and I said, he said, listen, we're working on it. Zoltan is also the same guy who had just put out a special when he came to our, when he came to our show because he couldn't get Netflix, Amazon, or Apple to bite off on his special. and I have a super hard time believing that's going to be the case for very long. He is so good at what he's fucking doing. Was his special on YouTube? His special was on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's so good at what he's fucking doing. Go check out Zoltan. You got to. You got to. I'm telling you right now. Great, great hour. The best hour I've spent at a comedy show in a long time, hands down. Tom Papa was great.

Bargazzi was great. Who did we go see together? Yeah. Ari. Ari was great. Shapir. Yeah. Ari Shafir was fantastic.

Zoltan was a cut above. He just was. Okay, so shows over. Everyone's going. And we're like all crowding to like make the door. You know, we're all getting out of our seats to make the door. And all of the sudden I hear someone go, hey, is that Brian Green? Can I get a picture with you?

And I, no, is that Brian Green from the commercial break? Can I get a picture with you? And I would turn around. And my first reaction was, no, you cannot. That's what I said. I don't know why I said it, but I said it. And when I turned around. No photos, please.

I recognized the face. It was urn. Earn. Urn. Urn. Urn. Urine. From our Clear Channel days.

Yes, of course. I remember urine. Yes. So I gave him a hug and I say, hey, d-dudy-dudy, how you doing? And he says, hey, you guys had Zoltan on your show. you? And I said, yeah, this is all happening while this whole crowd is around us, right? So, so me and Earn have a moment and then, you know, he leaves. And then all of this, there was like a couple people that were like dragging around us. Like I noticed they were just kind of standing there.

Yeah. And after he takes off, these two girls, one of these girls goes, you are Brian Green from the commercial break. And I go, I am. And she was like, I love your show. I've been listening to for a long time. No way. No, I swear to God. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's so nice to see you. You know, congratulations. I think. she was angers congratulations on on listening to my show for so long uh it's like when you get out of the cab and they say have a good flight and you're like you too yeah my first reaction is no you cannot um and i think she was angling for a photograph but i was with everybody and i just like you know i was kind of like okay thank you see you later meanwhile you got to impress your your friends

listen my friend i don't even think he was paying attention i think he was standing in line to see zoltan he wanted to see zolt him Nice. I love you. You had that good night. We had a great night. It was a fantastic night. It was just a, you know, when you have 30,000 children and so many responsibilities and none of them are making you money. You know, you don't get a lot of, like, time with just you and your wife. And now this is the second time that we've been out with these two on a night like this with comedy. And it was really great. We went and saw Salva Vacano that one time, too, remember? And, you know, I get to impress my friends a little bit, tell them, hey, listen. 15th row tickets to Zoltan at center stage. Who wouldn't take that? I know, right. Sol Volcano. Yeah, fifth row at Sal Volcano.

And then afterwards, when it was time for a meet and greet, we got shuffled in like a pen. And we were group number three. We got put in an order of priority. But Sal was, Sal couldn't have been nicer with his time. I mean, he gave me a hug and he's a German book. That's right. Remember that? Remember you saying that?

All right. Because then I was raining really hard. Oh, my God. It was crazy. Yeah. So we had just a wonderful time with Zoltan. I highly recommend you go see him. I just thought I'd shout Zoltan out.

And then, you know, don't go park at the holiday in on Street Street. Parked Dron Rose. That was the craziest. Chrissy, all of us, we couldn't stop talking about it the entire night because we were like, did that really just happen? I mean, the guy really went around the, he really went around. He followed me, told me to go upstairs and get the code. And then said, can I help you? Can you help me? How can I help you? How can you help me?

You're the one that told me how you can help me. Do you not remember that? It happened like a minute ago. What drug are both of you taking that I would like to take before the Zoltan show? Yeah, she better share. And I have some of that. Yeah, but I got to be able to eat my food. So give it to me and I'll take it later. All right. Let us do this. Let us take a short break. We'll start to. to dig our way into all the time we took off in my time in London and my time in Spain. Yes. All right. We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-4333-TCB. That's 212-4333822. Visit our website, TCB Podcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show.

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now was it? You're welcome. I saw you in there, the VIP, bottle service in Hennessy. My heart went crazy, it skipped a beat. I thought that you could be with me. I walk over to you.

We lock eyes. You're my wife and I realize You're with my friend and it's no surprise Watching you two makes my flag rise I have a cut, cut, cut crush on you I have a cut, cut crush on you I hide in the closet and let you do what you do I have a cut, cut crush on you

So baby grab your phone, start to swipe We need to spend some time getting it right I don't want you to be alone tonight I want you to cheat without a fight When you're in the bed with my favorite guy I hide myself and try not cry I love you lady but I won't lie My therapist Stephen wonders why

I have a cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet let you do what you do I have a cut cut crush on you And let's paint the town I'll stay in the corner I'll watch it all go down I promise not to make a sound

While you and may be ground and pound And pound. It's so lovely to be your man. I can't do what the other guys can. But when you're happy, I feel grand. He can be your lion. I'll be your lamb. I have a cut, cup, crush on you.

I have a cut, cut, crush on you. I hide in the corner and let you do what you do. I have a cut, cut, cut, crush on you. Do you know the guy who's turning all the grunge songs into Motown songs? Have you seen the black guy on Instagram? No. He's become so popular. He's a black guy with a beard and a hat and he loves grunge and he loves Motown.

So he takes AI and he turns all your favorite grunge songs into Motown classics or like gospel songs or what an R&B. It's so good. It's so good. Now, million followers, I think. He's crazy. So the other day I was waiting for the other day, what's that? That's sacks. Yeah, no, that sacks.

I have a cut cut crush on you. So the other day I was waiting in line at T. and he was a couple of steps in front of me. I suspected he lived in Atlanta or close to Atlanta, just based on some things I saw and heard. But now I think it's true. I think he lives in Atlanta. So anyway, I didn't say anything to him,

but I was kind of excited that he was standing in front of me because I'm a big fan. I'm a huge fan. Okay, so, you know, originally I went over to Europe because I went to London. I was going to the podcast conference over there, which ended up being, you know, the conferences are conferences.

You know, you walk around the floor for a couple of times. to say hi to people, you know, you have a meeting or two. It's really after the conference when all the action happens. And that was fruitful in and of itself. I got to go to Carbone. Have you ever been to a Carbone restaurant? They have them in Houston, Vegas, I think L.A. and New York and now in London. They're steakhouses. And they are unlike any place I have ever been in my entire life to eat food. This place was so incredibly spectacular. visually. And then at least at the one in London, it appeared as if they used a modeling agency to employ the entire staff. I'm sure. Everyone was gorgeous, man, woman, child. Everyone was gorgeous.

The women who greeted us at the front, there was like this tall, stunning black woman with this huge afro. It was one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen in my entire life. There was like, the men were gorgeous. They were like, you know, just beautiful people. all around. And the whole restaurant was filled with beautiful people and high rollers. And it was a vibe in there I've never experienced in a restaurant. It was quite frankly incredible. And it was on top of the restaurant was in the basement of like the most expensive hotel in the world. I forget what it's called. I can look it up. But it's on Grosner Square, which is like the, where the politicians live and the famous people live and all this other stuff. I went to this

restaurant, Carbone. I was so fucking impressed with this restaurant. Usually when you go to a place that's like has a bunch of different locations, you can, you can't just hit or miss. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Carbone was on point. They even, hit. Yeah, it was a hit. They even took my jacket. I don't know what me and the people that were with me were doing in there because we were the odd guys, but, you know, we managed to see our way through. It was a hell of a bill, though. I'll tell you that much. I bet. Hell of a bill. Yeah. I was with somebody and he kept ordering for the table. And I was like, okay, let him order for the table. But my intention was to pay because it was kind of like my treat, I would have been the one to pay.

He kept ordering for the table, and I was like, go for it. And then I paid the bill, and he was like, oh, my God, dude. I thought I was going to get this. And I was like, no, no, no, I invited you. I intended to get this. And he's like, I wouldn't have just gone ordering everything if I thought you were going to pay for it. Like I did that time? Yeah, like you did.

More scrabb. More crab, like, give me those snow crab. Chrissy, they're $30 a piece. Oh, wow. I'll take 70. Rachel and I were like, So I go to London. I have a very nice, relatively uneventful flight over there.

What I did was because, you know, I'm going on the company dime. I can't get a first class. I didn't even get a comfort because plane flights are so expensive right now. They're so expensive right now. I thought I could get a – usually we had this rule at this last company that I worked for. if you're flying more than four hours, you are allowed to have an upgraded seat, right? Even a first class seat. Like, you're allowed to do that.

That's the rules. If you're flying more than four hours, fly in comfort, don't make yourself all discombobulated. Otherwise, you have to go for, you know, the best coach seat you can get. And in some cases, you get away with getting a comfort seat if they were, like, not that expensive. Yeah. It's, you know, use your brain, essentially was the rule. Use your brain. But in this case, like, the actual first class seat.

seats were $4,700. Oh, wow. The comfort seats were $3,200. And I just could not justify the $3,200. Yeah, that's so much. At the end of the day, it's my company, too. Like, I can't, like, you know, just go blowing money willy-nilly. I can survive for seven hours on a comfort, on a regular seat.

But what I did manage to do is get an exit row. Oh, that's key. Yes. So I had plenty of space in front of me, right? And I got the window seat. so at least I can lay down. And there was somebody sitting next to me, but luckily it was not a particularly egregious human being,

you know, I think it was like an older lady. And, you know, we exchanged niceties. And then I fell asleep. That's what I did. I just fell asleep. But because I have trouble sleeping on an airplane in the first place, and because now the general rule of aviation is keep it as fucking cold as possible in the goddamn airplanes.

So I looked this up while I was flying. First of all, a couple things about flying that make it easier now. You can now get internet almost the entire way to and from Europe. So that's good. They found a way magically through, I'm sure, through Elon Musk. Starlink. To give you internet the entire way, mostly. There was a couple of points of disconnection, but mostly I had internet the entire way.

Second of all, you know, they generally keep the lights off and it keeps everybody quiet and calm on those flights over. Here's how it works on the East Coast of America, at least. If you're here and you've flown across the ocean and you know, the way over there, it's usually night flights. So you're flying at like 8, 9, 10 o'clock at night. That's when your plane leaves even up to midnight. And then you get there in the morning or afternoon over to Europe, with the time change. All planes fly that direction and then all planes fly the other direction back the other way. This is for air traffic control.

This is so that they can keep the planes flying generally in one direction. And everybody's ready for the planes coming in morning afternoon in Europe. And then everyone gets ready for the morning afternoon planes coming in to America. It's just a logistics thing. It's brilliant how they set it up. It really is. But the planes. But the planes are so fucking cold.

Yes, they are. That it is goddamn miserable. Oh, I've been lately, I've been taking like a full coat to like just wear. wear on there. I remember when I was flying back and forth to see Astrid that one time I wore long johns on one of those flights. Long johns. I bring extra wool socks that I can put on. I'm thinking about bringing gloves next time because it's so miserable and uncomfortable that you have to get up and walk around. You have to get up and move your body or else you're just going to freeze to death in those fucking seats. Now, why do they do this? I read about it. I know why they do this now, because

I've read about. And do tell. They have found that people are less likely to have an health incident like a stroke or a heart attack when blood pressure is slowed down. When your blood pressure is lower, when your blood is moving slower through your heart and through your system. How do you do that? You make people cold. Colder bodies produce less pressure on the blood vessels and the blood system. So you reduce the incidence of major health.

So it's a health reason. It's a health reason, number one. Number two, it's a safety reason. Why? Because colder people are slower people. They think slower, they act slower, they do things slower. They're less irritated because they're not, they're not hot and uncomfortable and, you know, their bodies aren't rev down. I could see that. Okay. So that's number two. You rev them down. You rev them down. Number three, I'm sitting in the exit row where there is a draft coming in from a fucking door and we are 40,000 feet in the air where it's negative 160 degrees Celsius. So no matter how. much you try, you're not going to get that plain warm. Like, they have a temperature gauge, but they keep it down at what, at like 55, 60 degrees. That's fucking cold when you're just sitting there, man. It's cold.

And then they give you that little, like, I don't even know what that is, a piece of parchment paper for a blanket. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, that little thing. Yes, give me 10 of those. I'll take a comforter. I'm thinking about getting a duvet for the next time I fly. And you think I'm joking, I'm not.

I would rather put a duvet in my carry-on and be able to sleep. or at least be comfortable on the airplane? I mean, I was sitting on my hands. I was putting them under my armpit. You could get one of those things that, you know, they wrap up for like a picnic blanket. Yes. You know, it's like a little leather strap.

Yes. Roll it up. I'm going to bring a plug-in heater next time. You think those things are allowed? Do you think I could bring it? You know, you could do is get those hand warmers that you crunch them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Like for camping. I have those. I have those. I don't know if those are allowed on an airplane, but I could try. Why not? I've seen people have said that you put hand warmers in your bag on the way to, because it's a chemical. McColl that can, you know, cause problems. But, you know, listen, okay, so I was so fucking

uncomfortable on that goddamn plane that by the time I landed, I only slept like maybe an hour and a half the entire time. And I usually don't eat the food on the airplanes. And here's why. I don't want my belly to be uncomfortable, number one. Number two, God love them. Usually on the way over there and on the way back, they are serving some kind of curry. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, really? I just don't love, like I like curry, but I don't love it. Yeah. Curry is kind of a strange thing to have. Well, the UK loves their curry.

They love their curry in the UK. They really do. There's a lot of Indian influence. Yeah, I like curry. Yeah. But I don't want it on an airplane. Yeah, I don't want it in an airplane. And it never fails that when they're serving the meal, I'm asleep.

And then, you know what I'm saying? Never fails. The 15 minutes I fall asleep is the 15 minutes they come by with the food tray and I'm not there. If you're in first class, they will save it for you. Right? When you wake up, they will be like, Mr. Green, you missed dinner. Would you like some? And then you go, yeah, and they go and they warm it up for you.

But if you're in the coach, fuck you. You got to go back and eat some Bisk off cookies and some stale potato chips. Jesus. Jesus. Fuck you, Jesus. I just was, so I was not in a great mood when I, when I, and not in a great mood. I just didn't feel great. And that fucking cold air blowing on my, on my face, it gave me an actual earache.

So I get to London. I have an earache. I go, luckily, the hotel room is ready when I check in. I'm staying at an okay hotel, like a double tree or something, you know, not bad, not nice, but the rooms are big, which is good for Europe. It's like a big room. And I'll tell you what, nothing made me happier than to turn on my British television. Oh, I forgot.

After that long flight and lay down. You're in the home country. Yeah. I usually say to myself when I fly to Europe, power through, Brian. Power through, go to sleep at like 11 p.m. And then you'll be just tired enough to get eight hours of sleep. you'll pop up, you'll be right on schedule. And usually that works without a problem. However, this time, I couldn't do it. I just could not make it all the way through the afternoon.

I had to go to sleep. So I go to the hotel. It's like, I don't know, it was like 11, 30, 12, 12. And I lay down and I woke up at like 6.30. Oh, great. I woke up at like 630. So I had a hell of a time adjusting to the time over there. But man, I just love London. I love walking through London. I love talking to people in London. I know I really want to go. I haven't been. Oh, Chrissy, it's just a lovely, lovely city. Yeah. Yeah, I took a couple of walks around, you know, this and that.

You're just seeing things and, you know, going down this street. I was staying in a place called Islington, which is north and east of London. That's where the conference was. But then everything that I had to do after the conference was over, all the important stuff, the places you really want to be, the networking events, the dinners, all that other stuff, was southwest in London. Across town. And I have never paid so much to Uber in my entire life. Like the first night, we had some people with us. So I said, let me get an Uber Excel, right? Let me impress the people that we're with. Just like comfort, for the sake of comfort, 189 pounds to go 17 miles. 189 pounds. That's $212. That's a fuck dick a month. Well, think about gas. That's what it's set on. First of all, you're paying congestion pricing no matter what time, a day or night in London. There's so much traffic.

in London. Number two, it said on the Uber app, prices may be higher because of global oil prices. Be aware, right? So there must have been like four different rides where I was paying over 200 American dollars. To get from Heathrow to my hotel, that was a two hour ride. Two hours I spent in that camp. Two hours. Wow. The traffic in London is terrible, especially where I was going. It just was terrible. And it was like, whatever, 300 fucking euros or whatever it was. It was crazy, Chrissy. Crazy. Have you ever done the black cabs? Yeah, I did those a couple of times, too. Like when I, but if I was going somewhere with someone, I got us an Uber, right? It's just easier. And there are sometimes the black cabs are readily available.

Sometimes they're not. Like, depends on what part is having. They have to know, like, every inch of the streets there. When you go in a black cab, well, we, at one point, I got an Uber executive for me and our, our friend, our agent, Matt, to go from one point in the city to the other point. It was the one that was closest. It was just as expensive as an Uber XL. And so I was like, okay, let me get this. I don't even know what this is.

A fucking brand new BMW pulled up with like the layback seats and like the bar in the middle. It was like it was unbelievable. It was a $150,000 car we're driving it. And Matt looks at me and he goes, who's paying for this? And I go, well, I am. My boss is. Yeah. I probably am going to pay for it once my boss finds out.

But I didn't know. I'd never taken an Uber executive. I just thought it was like, you know, cool black car going to show up and pick you up. It was like a really cool car that showed up and pick you up. But I was so far away from everything that the third day, I went from one double tree to another double tree on the other end of town because I went ahead and switched hotels.

I felt I was starting to feel a little bad about the amount of money I was spending on taxi cabs and Uber. I mean, getting back and forth was costing me $200 American dollars every time. that's a lot of fucking money. And New York can be the same way too, but even New York pales in comparison to how much money it was to drive from one end of the city to the other in London, how much time it took.

What do you think? You want to do another one? Another episode? Another episode. Yeah, yeah, of course. So stick with us. I'm going to close this one out and then I'll do it again.

So just pay attention to the YouTube if you're on there and you want to listen to the next episode we do. And we'll get into when the kids showed up to London. Yes, I can't wait to hear the meat and potatoes of things here. Yeah, and the hottest day that London had experienced in 176 years. Oh, God, that's great. So did Ashtrae had traveled with all three kids? By herself. Oh, God. She's a trooper. I told her. I said, quite a woman. I said to her, I will fly back and we can all go together. And she goes,

who's going to pay for that? Yeah. And I said, well, I'd have to. And she's like, yeah, nope, even if we wanted to that's not an option right now yeah yeah there was a heat wave the heat bubble or whatever they call the heat dome just came right over London while I was there

chilly and raining when I showed up the next day it was like 88 degrees it's fucking insane wow never seen anything like it London's not supposed to be like that and then when we flew back to London to get back to the United States that's how we went yeah

it was cold and raining again so more like the London weather you would have Right. All right. So, Chrissy and I are going to hop on another episode. We'll be back next week.

If you can't join us for the second episode, we'll be back next week. Yeah, somebody's in there saying that, I'm sorry, I can't read your name from this far, but saying that the houses in Europe are not built for the heat.

Did you know that more people die from heat-related, uh, heat-related death, incident, accident, sickness in Europe? Really? Then.

what was the statistic, then what? Something about like, you know, drunk driving in America or something. It's really a problem over there. They've got big heat waves that come their way and they don't have air conditioning. It's not built for it. It's just, I'll tell you about Madrid. Madrid was also experiencing the same thing and I'm telling you what, dude. Gustavo was lucky his wedding was inside.

Because had it not been, there would have been a lot of miserable sick people for sure. Okay. So if you can't make it to the second episode today, Today, we'll be back next week. Chrissy and I will be here Tuesday, Wednesday and likely Thursday, right around 1 p.m. YouTube. YouTube. com slash the commercial break is where you can find us. You can go to At the Commercial Break on Instagram. We'd love it if you would give us a follow.

Share, spread the word, tell a friend, leave a review. We love you very much. All the things. Yeah, we'll be back in 15 minutes to YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you.

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast, Universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say, and we must say. Goodbye.