The Commercial Break - The Very Bad Horrible Hallacas!

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

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Felice Navidad, Felice Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Frospero anew and Felicidad. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you,

Merry Christmas on the bottom On my home On this episode of the commercial break But Ayacas are not that offensive Because everyone still makes them And everyone still eats them And why do we eat them? I don't know why we eat them But we eat them

But so I'm on board with the festive nature Of making Ayakas Yeah but anytime they start breaking out the Ayakas I'm like, oh go The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-hosts of this show. Kristen Joy, oddly. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. I need another episode of this, the commercial break. The only one you'll ever need.

Fact news or fiction in the first 30 seconds of less. Your money back guaranteed. Go to TCBPB Podcast.com to collect your earnings. Still got it. You do so. Still got it. After all these years through the tears, well, the big holiday season is right around the corner, Chrissy.

And you know what that means. It's right here. What does that mean? Turkey, turkey? I've got to figure out a way to get my kids' gifts. Oh, the kid gift thing. Yeah, there's turkey. Listen, there's this season.

The holiday season is right around the corner. But for those of you that don't live in a Venezuelan household, it's also known as Ayaka season. Ayakas. This is a hot topic around this household, a hot topic around this household. Because I have known Venezuela's 30 years of my life, and I have been familiar with the traditional holiday dish known as an ayaka, which is essentially like the Frankenstein cousin of a tamale.

Oh, I remember you talking about this before. I'm wrapped in a banana leaf. And listen, we can focus on the good things about Ayaka. Let's focus on the good things for a second. One of these days I'm going to wake up, and there's going to be Geitas playing in the house. Gaitas is like traditional Venezuelan Christmas music. It's going to be Gaitas playing in the house. And I'm going to walk into the kitchen to find a huge card table opened up in the middle of the kitchen, everything else cleared out,

banana leaves all over the place. And then Astrid and whatever other Venezuelan happens to be within a 30-mile radius are going to be in my kitchen, making an absolute mess, putting whatever edible items are left in the refrigerator, freezer, or pantry into this ayaka. Don't call it a tamale. It's not. It's an ayaka. And that could include chicken, pork, seasonings, bell peppers, onions, olives, raisins, raisins.

Yeah. Some people put prunes in them. This is an acquired taste, and it is not to my liking. I do not like Ayakas. I love almost everything else about the Venezuelan culture, but Ayakas is just something I cannot get on board with. And here's the problem. Is it different every time, or is it a specific ingredient list?

Every family does it different. Right, but for Astrid, she does something the same. Yeah, it's pretty specific to, I think it's Familia. You make it the way your mom made it, the way your grandma made it. Maybe you put a little twist or a turner. hernia here or there. You're usually making it with family. So everyone's on board of how you're going to make them. I've had them, I've had a number of them. They're made different ways. Some of them

a little more spicy, some sweet, some salty. Some just have no flavor, no discernible flavor whatsoever because there are too many ingredients in them. But in any case, I don't like it. I don't like the texture. I usually don't like the taste. I'm not on board with it. I don't like Ayakas. And that causes drama in the family. Of course it does. And here's why it causes drama in the family. Not necessarily because I don't like Ayakas. Okay, I don't like Ayakas. But because the tradition is that you make 1,000 Ayakas per person that may or may not be attending your house anytime during the holidays.

You give them as gifts. You get them as gifts. And by two days after New Year's, they are all frozen inside of your freezer. You will have thousands of Ayakas frozen in your freezer. Like every Venezuelan family, I'm sure, does. We went to, this is 2020. So, like, pandemic still kind of like, you know, the glow of the pandemic is still there. And we drive out to wherever the fuck, northwest Atlanta, to go drop off a box that will eventually seven months later get to Venezuela.

That's right. It's like a shipping service. And it's a Venezuelan guy, very nice. We back up into his little, you know, garage in this little, you know, industrial area. We back up into the garage where he's got all these other boxes. And it's a little shipping store. Yeah. So we pull up, back up into his garage.

We give him this box that now is being sent down to Venezuela. And in return, he opens up his freezer that was sitting on the floor of this industrial space where there were hundreds of frozen ayaccas. And he starts throwing them into a box and giving them to us. And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. We had these ayacas for years. They were sitting in our freezer for years. I think we just got rid of them like three months ago.

No one eats them because it's holiday. and that's typically when you eat it and then you just don't do anything else with them for the rest of the year. Really? Maybe on occasion I will see Astrid eating in Ayaka outside of Thanksgiving 10 years. Well, I was going to say, like, dinner in a pinch one night

or something you pull them out. But you got to like them, first of all. They got to be something that's edible for you. And I know we talked to Joanna Hausman about this. She says the same thing. She goes, it's not my favorite dish in the world, but because it's a festive dish that's made around the holidays, I will have my fair share of Ayaka.

A fruit cake or something? Yeah, I think maybe. Not that it tastes like a fruit cake, but, you know, people don't really love fruit cakes, but they're festive. They're festive. And why anybody in the world would think to give a fruit cake anymore? I don't know. You've got to be a fruit cake to give a fruit cake.

You know what I'm saying? I don't even know if they make them. I'm sure they do. But I haven't seen actual fruitcake in a long time. But when I was a kid, there was a lot of fruitcake going around. And you want barf in a back. That is like instant. We didn't have it, but I always saw it, like, talked about in movies and maybe other people's houses.

And everybody seemed to not really like it, so I didn't. In the 70s, like, some kind of gelatin-slash-gelatin-related fruit came into fashion. And remember they had, like, the pink jello? Yes, yes. It wasn't translucent. No, my grandmother would make this. My grandmother would make this, too. It was pink.

It was pink. It was pink. It was like pepto-boos. Bismal pink. Yes. And they would put like other, like weird fruits in there, like pecanes and like pears out of a can. It was like, it was so disgusting and so weird. It was like in a ring. Yes. Yes. Everybody had that ring. That one ring with a little bumps on top of it. And you'd make whatever and they make fruit cake in it. And then everyone would like put, give it to the dog. I don't know. It was so disgusting. I'm sure they still make it. But Ayacas are not that like offensive because everyone

still makes them and everyone still eats them. And why do we eat them? I don't know why we eat them, but we eat them. So I'm on board with the festive nature of making ayahuas. Yeah, but anytime they start breaking out the ayacas, I'm like, oh, God. Now, there's another traditional dish called Bandahamon. Bandaham is essentially a pastry with ham and cheese in the middle. And that can also include raisins.

Okay, you can pick them out, right? But you slice it up. It's like a big, long roll that's made. They roll it up into the pastry, the ham and the cheese, and then you slice it up and you have a little slice. I can eat 10 of, I will look like bandahomone when this is all said and done because I will go around the Ayaka to get to the bandahomone. It is not my thing. But there is another dish that sometimes, it's Spanish, but it was introduced to me by Venezuelans, and that is Iberico ham. Oh, God, I love that stuff. So expensive.

Speaking of Simon, he gets one of those every year. I used to, I got one like three years in a I had them shipped in from New York. Fucking fantastic. If you never had Iberico ham, it is like bacon on steroids, literally. These pig, there's pig in the Iberian region of Spain. They can only be certified Iberian if they only eat. It's acorn, right? A certain kind of egg corn.

Like a certain type of egg corn on a hillside in Iberia. I don't think the sun with fresh grass. That's right. And they have to be a certain. type and it's got to include the hoof. If the black hoof is not on the Iberico ham, it comes like the whole leg. It's like the whole leg and thigh with the hoof. And then you slice it. It takes a master to learn how to slice it. You slice it a certain way. It is full of fucking fat and grease and just one slice of Iberico ham. And your life will change. The first time I ever had

it, I showed up in Madrid. It was at a party where, you know, Spanish people, Venezuela's all hanging out. I fly in late at night. I took a, like, yeah, I had a connecting flight in Switzerland, and I ended up missing the first flight, so I had to get to the second one. So I get there late. Astrid's at a party. They come to the airport. They pick me up. I go to this Christmas party that they're having. It's like the night of Christmas. I go inside, and this guy goes, come into the kitchen. You know, I'm going to get you some food. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I go in there. And there's a whole fucking hog leg sitting on this piece of equipment, like essentially a stand. And he's got a towel wrapped around it. And he unwraps it. And it's like, I'm like, you know, thinking of myself,

what is that? Right. And he goes, this is Iberical ham. It's going to change your fucking life. And I was like, oh, okay. And just to not be rude. Listen, I've eaten some adventurous stuff in my life. You have. So it's not like I won't go for it, but I just got off a flight. I'm seeing Astrid, you know, her family's there. We're not married yet. The hoof is involved. I can see hair on the feet. Like, I'm like, ah, the skin is still on parts of it. I was like, eh.

You know, there's a towel, like a kitchen dish towel wrapped around it. You know, I'm like, the whole thing is he's got me a little skeved out. He cuts me a piece. He gives me some baguette. Put that with that. Put that with that. And I go, oh, okay, he's got a little plate. He hands, you know, like a little paper plate.

He hands it to me. And then he walks off. And I'm in the kitchen standing there. And I'm like, do it. Do I toss it in the garbage? Or do I walk into the room and pretend like I'm hanging with the big boys? So I chose the ladder and I went in there. It didn't take me half a minute.

And I wanted to go back in that kitchen and get more Iberico hand. Half a minute. And then because I spent the holiday season there from then until, you know, well, really still like March, I was there from there until March in Europe. You couldn't get me away from the Iberico ham. We were going to stores. They have them hanging all over the place during the holiday season, any time of the year, really, but during the holiday season. Like, Iberko is everywhere.

It's pre-slice. It comes full. It's big legs and small legs. You can buy expensive ones or cheaper ones. I mean, they're all expensive, but you know, you can buy the super gold, you know, I beer the biggest of the hogest of the hogs, the hamiest of the hams. I don't know. But all of them are everywhere. And I was like a feint, like a crack addict.

I was like, I birico ham. Iberico Ham. And then we moved. And then we, Astro and I moved to Switzerland so she could finish her master's degree. And they had Iberko Ham. So you know what I was doing? Astor would shove off to school, eight, you know, seven in the morning, minus 17 degrees in Lucerne Switzerland. And I would walk her to like, you know, the bus station to go up into the mountain to go to go school.

I walk her in the bus. And then I'd come back around. I did. Most mornings. Not every single morning, but, man, 90, 70, 80, 90 percent of the time. And then I would. I was still smoking cigarettes at the time, so I would walk, I would smoke a cigarette, and then I would hit that Swiss grocery store, and I'd go straight for the Iberico ham.

And I'd buy a pack of pre-sliceed Iberico ham and a fresh baggett, and it'd be gone by the time Master came home. I did the entire thing. I loved it so much. God damn, I love Iberico ham. It's my favorite thing in the world. Favorite thing in the world. Now, you can't make Bandahomone with Iberico ham. You can't, but it'd be like a thousand dollar bandahomone.

Yeah. You don't give that to your naked. and friends. You keep that shit for yourself. So maybe you make a special panda hormone with just Iberico ham. But the thing is you got to cook it, and you don't want to cook Iberico ham. No, that's the thing. You just want to eat it straight. You just eat it raw. Yeah, it's just... Well, it's cooked. Yeah, it's preserved. It's dried.

Yeah, it's dried. It hangs for like, I don't know, two years or something like that. It's like a wine. You hang it for seven years. It gets better because all the fat just starts to coagulate. It's really quite gross, actually, when you think about it. Let's not think about it too much. Iberico ham. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. It's one of the best things you'll ever taste. And if you ever have a chance to taste real Iberico ham, like at a restaurant, some

restaurants here in Atlanta serve it. I was going to say, there's got to be a couple. It used to be when we first got back here from Switzerland and Astrid moved here and we got engaged and married. When that happened, it was extraordinarily hard to find any Iberico ham. The Iberian pig here in Atlanta, a restaurant, while named. Oh, that's right. While named the Iberian pig.

Did not serve it. Did not serve real Iberico ham. It sold essentially what was prosciutto, which is like a cousin of Iber. It's the same thing, but it's different. It's not the Iberian pig. It's not. There's got to be a specialty butcher here. The problem is, is actually, you can't import with the hoof on it.

Oh, right. So therefore, in some. Somebody has to go somewhere and bring it back. It's semantics. Yeah, it's semantics, but it's, you know, certain types of ham with certain things aren't allowed. You can't have the hoof, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So now there are purveyors where you can buy the Iberico ham directly without the hoof. I would say the quality is not as good as you can get in Spain, but it's so much better than anything that I had a number of years ago. So I found this purveyor. And for a couple years there, I was buying a ham. every Christmas. And one year I bought two hams and they would come with the stand and with a knife. That's how expensive they are. They give you the stand and the knife. And I just went to town. I invite everybody over and would be slicing Iberico ham online. Not this year. No, no, no, no. Not this year. We're going to get like country crock ham in a bag. You know, the kind you buy a Walmart.

Yeah, Cracker barrel. Yeah, country fried ham. That's right. I'm going to go for, you know, ham. in a bag, you know, the sliced ham in a bag that you get at the deli section? Yes. I'm going to get that, and I don't know, paste it on a stand and pretend, like, pretend like I'm slicing it off. Yeah, real Iberico ham is red and purple. This is light pink and translucent. Look how it shines.

It's like that subway meat you get. You're going to get London broil. Yeah, London broil. There you are like, pastrom. Yeah. Speaking of food, real quick, before we take a break, I'll tell you that I saw, you know, Cats Deli in New York, the famous, very world famous Cats Deli in New York, known for their pastrami sandwiches.

And pastrami is some cut of meat with special spices and I don't know. Pastrami is okay to me. It's not my favorite thing in the world. But I've had pastrami sandwiches I liked and lots of pastrami sandwiches I didn't like. But they had a video of how they make a pastrami sandwich, like the world. world famous pastrami sandwich where they actually cut up an entire like shoulder and put it on a fucking piece of bread. I mean, it's a piece of meat this big and the guy slices off the fatty parts and then he chops it up and puts it on there. I've never seen something so appetizing in my

entire life on Instagram. I should find it and show it had millions of views already. It was like, just this guy, just this, you know, line cook back there, just chopping it up, talking other guys while he's doing it. And it looks so. to listen, but I think to myself, how the fuck do you make a buck if you're serving an entire shoulder to each customer that orders one of these? And this is what you're fucking known for. I don't know. Somebody in the comments section tell me, I have no idea because I've never been to New York a lot, but I've never, I've walked past it, but I've never been there. I should have stopped at Cats Deli. Damn it, Brian, why didn't you stop at Cats Deli? Why didn't you stop at Cats Deli?

You'll walk a mile out of your way in minus 10 degree weather in Lucerne, Switzerland for fucking I'd be a year. Yes, because you didn't go. I didn't go. That's right. See, we liked cats and then we didn't pay attention to it. Nice things as well. We can't have nice things. If there's one thing in New York that I don't think is going to go out of business for any reason, it's Katz Deli. Katz Deli's been there for the, what, 1929 or something? I was just reading something this morning on the New York Times that had a whole section about the bodegas and New York and kind of the history of those. It's fascinating. Yeah, bodegas are what you do. I've had lunch at a few. I've had a few sandwiches. in a bag. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of a sandwich in a bag. Used to be a place here in Atlanta. Cool Corners grocery store. Cool Corners grocery store near the Georgia Tech campus. A little shitty rundown neighborhood, at least it was until gentrification took over. Thanks everybody. Yeah. And it was like a brick building, non-descript brick building, bars on the windows, little like, you know, Budweiser sign and, you know, cigarette signs and stuff like that. It was essentially a

bodega. Not a gas station. A bodega. You go in there. You go in there. You by your sundries, but it was run by a Cuban couple. And that Cuban couple had been here in the United States since it came over on the boat in the 80s. And the guy spoke very little English, and the wife spoke pretty good English. And they ran this shop and they made Cuban sandwiches. That's what they did. And the first time that I ever went there, I was working for a guy like day labor for a guy while I was in Chopper Johnson. And so the bassist had a job, like, it was like a fixer upper for rental houses. And we were doing this job. We were digging out stone. out of the basement of like a crawl space.

So I had to go down, crawl in the crawl space, and pull out this stone that was under there because they were going to, I don't know what the fuck they were going to do. So it was really, actually pretty hard labor, right? I bet. Sounds like it. And so the guy goes, let me buy you some lunch. And we were in this neighborhood.

And we walk over to Cool Corners grocery store. And I don't know, I don't know what's on, it's all in Spanish. I don't know. What do we get? He said, there's only one thing you get. It's the Cuban sandwich extra mojo. That's all you ask for. Just Cuban sandwich extra.

moho. And I got that Cuban sandwich extra mojo and they made the moho sauce. He made the moho sauce himself. And I'm telling you right now, Chrissy. It is still around actually. But it's not run. The guy has long since passed away. The woman has long since passed away. I think it's run by their nieces or nephews or something like that. Some people still, they still have lines out the door apparently to go to a cool corner's grocery store. But I'm telling you right now, I've never tasted a Cuban sandwich like this before or after, even in Miami, and I've been on the hunt. I've been on the hunt for a really... Yeah, once you have that really good one. It was the moho sauce. I'm convinced it was the homemade mojo. That's what makes a Cuban sandwich. And if it's dry, it's not good. And if the, if the ham isn't made the right way, it's bad.

It's all, you know, the pork, it's not, it's bad. Anyway, I get picky about my Cuban sandwiches. I play some Poncite Market's pretty good. Which one? That guy, uh, God, I can't remember what his name, what the name is. I'll look it up on the break, but... Okay. It's really good. I think I've had a Cuban sandwich at that place. Yeah, it's pretty good, but it's not cool corners. Well, nothing can be. When you have a cool corners first, you can only go down from there. Yeah.

And that's disappointing. And so maybe we should take like a little adventure out to cool corners one time. I'm thinking about going there on the home now. What if we just show up with our microphones and do an episode of the commercial break from cool corners? Yes. And make those people famous. With our three people? Yeah.

Or maybe they'll make us famous. Exactly. No, no, look at the other number, 720. That's what is it. Oh, okay. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back with so much more fun. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at TCB Podcast.com.

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Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break. At MedCan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today.

And may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. All right, so Cool Corner is still there. This is the old Cool Corner. Now they're in a new building.

They've since like, you know, they've re-gent, they've done the whole neighborhood has become explosion. But this is the old store. Look at that. This one says it's in Alabama. Why does it say that? No, it's not Alabama. It's right down there.

Yeah, no. It's just unbelievable. You got to go. You got to go, Chrissy. Go get yourself a Cool Corn. Tell me how it is. Bring me back a Cuban sandwich. I'd love to see it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, this one's in Alabama. Yeah. Oh, is Cool Corner not open here in Atlanta? Okay, I know you're bored. I don't want to bore everybody with this. Okay, whatever. We'll investigate for that.

Cool Corner. Just remember that name. If you ever see a Cool Corner of Cuban Sandwich in Atlanta at a specific place. And you go get yourself one and tell me how it is. All right. Okay. Wicked, right around the corner. Holiday season is here.

Here come all the big movies. Avatar, Way of the Water. fire and earth, ice and sky, whatever the fuck that shit is called. I don't know. I didn't see the second avatar. I didn't either. I just didn't care about the first one enough to see the second one. And so therefore I certainly don't care enough to see the third one.

And I know they made a billion dollars. But I just didn't find Avatar one as fascinating as so many other people did. I watched it. I gave it a good try. I gave it my full attention. But it was long. I didn't think it was that interesting. I thought the special effects were great.

But it wasn't like I was wooed by it. I wasn't like, oh, wow, you know. But that's coming, fire and ice, land of fire and ice or whatever is coming out. Here comes, what other big movies are coming out? I mean, Wicked's the only one I see around. Yeah, Wicked. There you go. Wicked Chew coming out.

Wicked's. Stranger Things, but that's on Netflix. That's on Netflix. They're going to take over the whole holidays, too, right? They're going to do Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and then New Year's Day. So they're doing like a whole thing. So get ready for that. A lot of controversy going on with that stranger things.

And then like Millie Bobby Brown and the guy who plays the old sheriff or her dad or her adopted dad or whatever. And now they're pissing and moaning at each other. But then they showed up to a red carpet event like holding hands and hugging and kissing. I don't know. Listen, if you're on, if this is it, if this is the end, just muddle through somehow. Unless there's like serious like assault going on or some serious deviant behavior. but her showing up with him and like hugging and kissing and all this doesn't indicate to me that indicates to me that this might have been a little blown up. Plus you work with somebody for 10 years. You're going to get irritated at some point. Well, right. And she went from being what 10 or 11 to now 21. Right? Right? I guess 20. I don't know what she was. Yeah, she was a kid. Now she's an adult. She's selling bras. I saw that the other day. She came up on my Instagram and it was like, I love this bra.

Isn't she married to Bon Jovi's son? I think so You give love a bad name I think or maybe I'm wrong I don't know Don't care Billy Barbara Brown Nice girl

I'm sure she is But no don't care You look up that Well I tell you about Wicked's Wicked's I've been watching some stuff about that Wicked's Which is part two of Wicked

Following the trend of putting an S on the end of it And just calling it the sequel Yeah Jake Bon Giovi Jake Bonjiovi. Hey, Jakey Banjiovi. You lucky bastard. Back to Wicked. Back to Wicked. So Wicke is coming out. It's going to be the monster hit of the year. It's going to make a billion dollars the first weekend. We all know it. Wicked One was an excellent movie. An excellent movie, a technical accomplishment, a feat of artistic beauty and grace. I saw it. I liked it very much. Me too. I didn't expect me to say that because I hate musicals.

I hate them. Yeah, I'm not a huge fan either. There are a few I have been a fan of and this was one of them. And so I walked out very, I knew Wicked Existed. I knew it, I had heard about the Broadway show for decades. We all have, right? It took the world by storm when it came out and I thought to myself, oh, that's fucking silly. A movie about the Wicked Witch of the West, like who, or the Broadway show, who cares about that?

And then six months before the big promotional tour started for Wicked One, I caught the original Elphaba, who also happens to be Elsa and Frozen, singing the song that we now all, you know, have in our heads that's synonymous with this movie. Gravity song? Yeah, Define Gravity. I saw her singing it on David Letterman, which had happened years earlier, but I just got served it up. And then I kept replaying it because I was like, wow, that's pretty funny. fucking good. That song's pretty fucking good. That can that took me to the soundtrack. Then that took me to playing the soundtrack for my girls. And then it's just everybody got hooked. We're all hooked on everything, right? And we're like, oh, this is a good soundtrack. We should go see that movie. Astrid

and I go see it. We determined that it's okay for the kids to watch except for the flying monkeys. It could be a little scary. But the kids loved it. Then what was that? I don't know what that was. Yeah, that was that an alarm? That was bloody murder. That was an alarm. So that led us to then watching the Wicked Special that came out just a couple of weeks ago with Ariana Grande, Cynthia Arriva, the original two, who played Elphaba and Glinda. Is that the one with Jeff Goldblum's in it too? And they kind of have talked to everybody? Yeah, it was like a whole thing by NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw that one. On the stage, off the stage, you know, making jokes. Listen, it was a little cheesy, a little hammy. The PR machine is in full. Roar right now. They're going to milk this. Of course. They have to.

That's what it is. It was filmed at the same time, by the way. One and two were filmed at the exact same time. So that's why it's coming out so quickly. It was just last year. The Wicked came out. And now here we are. We're doing Wicked too.

And or Wickeds, as I like to call it. Which is not the real name. The second part of the story. That's right. So Cynthia Arriva and Ariva and Ariano Grande are again, on this never-ending promotional tour going on every single podcast, television show, daytime, nighttime, they're doing everything. And some people are taking notice to maybe the strange nature of the relationship

between these two women in these interviews. And I'm starting to agree. The strange nature. I will let you watch this news piece about this, and then you can listen to it if you're listening on the show. I will let you listen to this, watch it. And you tell me what you think. Is this just two girls who are essentially really in love with each other?

Like, not romantically, but like two really good girlfriends? Yeah. Is it two people experiencing something that no other two women on Earth could possibly experience in this explosion of fame and wealth and status and all this other stuff? Or is this taking on a little bit of a weird tone to it? Okay? All right, let's roll the tape. Roll it.

Okay, Jason. Now to the peculiar behavior. Jason, roll the tape. I like to pretend there's someone there helping us because that makes us sound a lot more important. That's true. Jason's my pointer finger. Of Ariana Grande. What's that?

Your mouse. My mouse. That's right. Okay. Cynthia Arrivo during their latest wicked promotional tour. Do you have a message for the queer fans who are watching this? We love you. We love you.

We love you. We love you. We love you. And us has always been a queer place, a safe place. It is. For every different color of a rainbow, for everybody. Read the L. Frank Baum Books. It's the truth.

You're safe with us. We love you so much. The gayer, the better. Okay. And watch this reaction when Mark Platt enthusiastically shakes Ariana's hand during an interview. They carry on is too much. Popular. Can you believe that we're doing popular today?

It's going to be so great. so great. That joy he wanted to infuse in every frame so that when you've experienced the film with all the tears and everything else, you feel the joy. Okay, so what you're not seeing, if you're listening to this, is that there's a man that went to go shake Ariana Grande's hand, and he shook it, like, like, an excitement. First of all, she's a toothpick, so probably anything. Does this look, can, I do not want to speculate on someone else's appearance. I don't want to be that guy. I'm going to ask a legitimate question. Do these two look healthy to you?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, exactly. I don't want to speculate. Okay. I mean, Ariana, she's always been like that. But I'm not the only one asking that question, right? She's very, very thin. So, yeah. Yeah, the guy was really shaking her hand hard.

Pretty hard. And so when he let's go of her hand. She kind of limed like, oh my God. Yeah, Cynthia, like, jumps over her lap and is like grabbing her arm and kissing it. And it's a little much, but they're actually. actresses. Yeah. Boy in every single friend.

So I wanted to say that on this. Too much. And look at this. Who is this chatty patty on Sky News? Who can't stand herself? This clip went viral in recent days, but it's actually from last year. Let me tell you one thing. That necklace did not need to be adjusted.

A beautiful sister ship that continues to grow and grow even through this press store. Something's bothering her. She's going to fix something. I'm sorry. Sorry. She's getting the fixing itch that's in the area. It's not there. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Because the thing is. The biggest pinch me moment for each of you on the set. Was it a day you arrived on the set or some special moment that happened? I mean. Well, I think she was just trying to fix her necklace, but that went on for a long time. Yeah. Did her necklace need fixing? Well, you can't tell.

Okay. I have one of those necklaces where it drives me crazy. And you have to like, okay. Yeah, because it'll come up a little bit. This is why I'm doing this with you. I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm going a little too judgmental on this whole thing. By the way, I've watched a lot of these interviews, and they're always, like, doting over each other and flying on top of each other and kissing each other's hands and grabbing each other's hair. And I'm wondering if this is just what two girls who are really just enjoying the moment and having a friendship.

I think they're in a really intense experience together. So they're connected now. Or are these two girls who are getting extremely harshly judged by, you know, a very bitchy sky news reporter. Lace did not need fixing. You know, the only good thing about their bizarre antics are all the parodies it hasn't inspired. And I've got to say, this is one of my faves.

We chose to do with the role, with the roles, with something like that. I think that should be studied. Yeah. Where are you from Dayton, Ohio? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did I say something wrong? It's been in honor to stand by Cynthia doing this hard time. I mean, her battling cancer. Oh, no, I'm just bold.

I'm actually, I'm a little hungry. She's hungry. This is, okay. What I'm not pointing me now is comedian. I mean, it does go on like, there have been a lot of parodies, and I've seen that one in particular, It is actually pretty funny. And a host of Mind of Stein, Alex Stein.

Alex, what do you have? They're pretty dramatic, you know? I don't care what Alex Stein has to say. Who's that guy? I think they're pretty dramatic. And, you know, the way that they're expressing themselves during these interviews. But, you know, maybe it's just a thing. That's the way that they're on.

They're on. Yeah, they are on and they are on each other. And it is just, they're on top of each other. They're kissing each other. They're hugging each other. or grabbing each other during interviews. Ariana's holding Cynthia's hand. Cynthia's holding Ariana's hand.

And, you know, listen, I don't know. That's not how I act with Raphael. But not to say someday we won't be in a huge movie version of a Broadway musical. And the two of us won't be doting over each other like that also, right? Also, they might just be going through something together. That's what I think. That is unique to them. Definitely.

And that no one else can experience. and they are trying to keep each other in some universe that feels normal to them because they're the ones experiencing it. So there's a lot of judgment online going on about this. And I don't want to add to the noise because I just don't know. And maybe I don't care, really. Why did I even bring it up if I don't care? I don't know.

I just thought that I should get Chrissy's opinion on this because that's it. I will. I think it's a little too much. And again, you can always take certain things. dissect them like little pieces of course of something there is a guy who over the last couple of years uh and i'm not even to give his name i know it but i'm not going to give it he is on instagram uh twitter and ticot and he is making he has made a name for himself he has made a name for himself and for no one else by running up on stage with katie perry with the weekend and then

over this last weekend, he ran, jumped over a fence during a premiere of Wicked in Shanghai and grabbed Ariana Grande and tried to wrap his arm around her as if they were taking a picture together. Now, he does the same thing every time. He's also run out onto football pitches. He's done it on cricket matches. This is his thing. He runs out and it looks like he's going to hurt the person.

And then it seems like all he wants to do is just get them a side hug so he can get a picture of them. Well, he did this to Ariana over the weekend, and Cynthia immediately came to her rescue by physically pushing him out of her sphere. And then the security jumped on top of him and all this other stuff. Now, he's a shithead. I think he's been banned from TikTok. He's probably getting banned from Instagram. He's just trying to... That's dumb. Yeah, he's dumb. I mean, it's just dumb antics, and who cares? You're not important. No one cares. He does this on trains. They'll, like, make stupid dances or silly noises. There's this whole flavor. of Instagram buffoonery that's going on right now with teenagers.

She'll like run into a Walmart and they'll scream at the top of their lungs as if something terrible is happening. And then, you know, walk away like nothing happened when everyone's like, what, what? It's why? What? I mean, I get it. You're a teenager. You got a little extra energy. But I never felt the need to call that kind of attention to myself. I didn't feel that need until I got into my 40s. That's right. On the show.

That's right. But Cynthia came to Ariana's defense, and so then yesterday it was announced that Cynthia has some kind of cold or something. And so she's going to suspend the press tour at least for the next couple of days. And then Ariana said, in solidarity with Cynthia for her cold, I am going to also suspend my press to her. They probably just need a break. I think they do. They really are everywhere. I think they need a break.

I think they need to go on a nice, long vacation. Because it's not going to stop. I mean, they need a break right now. Yeah. Away from each other, right? Like, you go with your people. I'll go with my people. We'll meet in six months and we'll see how we're feeling after all of this dies down.

Well, Ariana was engaged to one of the guys from Wicked. Yeah. And he was married. Yeah. And it was not the guy in Wicked you would have thought we would have been engaged to. No, it's not the handsome mansum, sexiest man alive, dude. Astrid knows his name. I don't. Sex is a man alive dude who has a husband or something like that. He's gay, but he has a husband. But it was the other dude, like the red-haired guy.

Red-head, you know, not that guy. Not that guy with Ariana Grande, but they apparently fell in love on set and he's married. Not anymore. Not anymore. Are they still engaged? I don't know. I don't know. But if I'm here, if I'm her husband, I'm like, wow, you two are really into each. You two are really into each other. And hey, listen. What the heart wants the hard The hall wants What the heart want? What do you want me to do? I don't know I'm in Wicked and Wickeds

What do you want me to do? I'm going to look that out I'm excited to see what happens in Wicked's Because, you know, are they going to have a smash hit Like they did before? Oh yeah. It doesn't, I don't know Because don't you think that would have already

kind of hit the scene? It would have hit the scene beforehand? Like, defying gravity. You knew that. song was going to be in there nine months before wicked came on the scene. But here we are going into the second one. And still, we're just listening to Define Gravity. We're still listening to Define Gravity. So is there a hit song in Wicked 2 or are they just going to replay some of the songs from Wicked 1, do it over again? Is Define Gravity essentially is there going to be like a, you

know, a remix or a revise or a revisit of Define Gravity? It's me Yeah, I don't know We'll see We're going to go see it The kids want to see it Everyone wants to see it Everybody's going to see it

I was telling you I watched that one On Peacock too That thing just came out And it was from It told the story of the original Wizard of Oz How he wrote that

Yeah And that was a huge hit at the time Yeah That was a huge hit And many books spun off of that Yeah And yeah So anyways, it tells his story in the Wizard of Oz and then how the guy wrote Wicked and then how that got turned into Broadway, which is different than the book.

It's a whole thing. I mean, God bless America, only in America. The land of Oz. It is the land of the Oz. It's the land of the Oz and there's always a man behind the curtain. Yeah. And this time, it's Phil Mickelson. What? Okay, let's talk about him when we get back. Let's talk about what kind of buffoonery fills up here.

Damn. God damn it, Phil. fallen. No, God. God. Damn it, Phil. I rooted for you. We rooted for you together. We would watch the Masters. The 2013 Masters, I think it was. And Chrissy and I were on the edge of our

seats as he takes out that seven iron and swings it around that tree and lands it perfectly on the 11th or whatever. I think it'll be 11th. I mean, just like masterful golf, a guy at the top of his game, everyone rooting for him. The whole world's behind him. And he can't keep his dick

in his pants, his wallet, way from, you know, insider trading, gambling and betting and fucking everybody over. The Saudis. Yeah, the Saudis. He's up to it again. I'll tell you more about it

when we get back. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us. 212-333-3-TCB. That's 212-4333822. Visit our website,

TCB Podcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the video. at YouTube.com slash the commercial break. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult.

Now was it? You're welcome. What was his name in real life? What was it? Ethan, hold on, let me see. Ethan Slater. Ethan Slater. But I guess they're putting on a little bit of a front

to try and squash any rumors, but it seems like they've split up. Damn, sorry, Ethan. That was your one shot, bud. you divorced somebody to go after Ariana Grande. I know. She doesn't have the best track record. Gosh.

No, she doesn't. But, you know, either did Pete Davidson until all of a sudden he had a baby and settled down for now. Yeah. Yeah. Pete's going to realize that he gets older, it's not going to get easier. So he might be back on the market, too. We'll see. Listen, Phil Mickelson, okay?

He's a professional golfer, for those of you that don't know. He's a professional golfer. He's going to be in the Hall of Fame. He's in the Pro Golf Hall of Fame. He's won, like, I don't know, 75 tournaments or something. What's Phil's, it doesn't matter to you. You don't care. No one cares.

And I don't care. He's won a lot. He's won a lot. He's won a number of majors. He's won the Masters. And the only one that he doesn't have, I think, is the U.S. Open. But all the other ones, he's won. And he's an exciting golfer to watch.

And why is Phil Mickelson an exciting golfer to watch? Because he takes chances. He's a betting man. He takes out the club you don't expect them to take out. He hits the shot you don't expect them to hit. And 50% of the time, it does, he loses. Yeah, it goes in the water. Yeah. I've seen it so many times. But he somehow comes out of the other ones. And the 50% of the time he hits it, you are super excited to see that Phil took a chance and it worked out. And then 50%. He gambles. He's a gambler. He bets in his head. He goes, I bet I can make this. And if I do, I'm a superstar. And if I don't, at least I tried, where most golfers, most golfers. first play on a little bit more conservative side and they try and work their way around the course. He's always been known for that forever and ever amen. But Phil's also been known for a couple of other things like maybe a little bit of philandering, but that's not been main, that's not been Phil's main point. Yeah, that wasn't the main thing. No, his main thing is gambling, like actual gambling, taking large amounts of cash and losing it to the point where

early on in his career, I would say in the first 10 or 12 years when he was making millions and millions of dollars. Him and Tiger were competing against each other head-to-head a lot. They were both raising the stakes for professional golf. He and Tiger were pulling the game up monetarily by bringing in these huge endorsements, the eyeballs on TV. And part of the reason why we'd like to watch, even though Tiger was winning 90% of the time, part of the reason why we'd like to watch Phil is because he was taking these crazy chances and he was an exciting golfer to watch. It brought eyeballs to the TV. It brought money into the PGA. And he knew it. And Tiger knew it. And Tiger knew it. and they were getting paid well for what they did.

But on the weekends, Phil was going and, you know, dropping a million and a half dollars on one hand of poker or some shit. Which I didn't really realize at the time because I remember he looked like such a great guy. His wife had breast cancer. Remember that? Yeah. She beat that and he seemed to be right there by her side. And I guess he was. I think he was, right?

Yeah. He just had a gambling problem too. Listen, you can be two things. You can be a dick and not a dick at the same time, I guess. You know, I was telling my kids, good people do bad things. Bad people do good things. it's complicated. It's not easy. I know that's not what I should be telling the kid. It should be, you know, be good, black and white, you know, good. But it's not that way. And it's never going to be that way. And so it's not that way with Phil either. But just say don't be a dick. Yeah, don't be a dick. Hey, kids, don't be a dick. That's life wisdom from your dad. Don't be a dick. But Phil, when it comes to business and it comes to money, he is an ultra-complicated human being who is always trying to get the inside track and take crazy chances like he does. on the course.

He got into a lot of debt, apparently, with bookies and casinos in Las Vegas, early on in his career, and KMPG, who was a longtime sponsor of his, apparently came in and saved his hide to, like, to tune of $22 million or something like that. And he had to be forever their bitch. He was their sponsor forever. Phil has done many, many endorsement deals. You see him on commercials still to this day for psoriasis and this and that and the other thing. to those. Yeah, he's got, he's made hundreds of millions of dollars on lucrative endorsement deals. And then the first chance he got to take a $500 million payout from the Saudi government, he did it. He was the first one over that that lived golf. Well, now, Pablo Torre, who has this, uh, podcast called Pablo Torre finds out, which is a fantastic podcast. It's really centers mostly on sports and investigative journalism around sports. But if you ever get a, uh, podcast, it's a fantastic podcast. It's really centers mostly on sports. And investigative journalism around sports. But if you ever

get a chance to listen to it because it's really good to follow him on Instagram. But he has been following another Phil story, which is that Phil, not only when he was getting these offers from live golf, he was also trying to make a deal with the PGA, but he was taking the information that he was getting from the PGA and he was giving it to live golf. And then he was taking the information from live golf and he was giving it to a third contender to start a new professional league that he had a bigger stake in. And then he was doing it to a fourth person. He was playing four sides of the table at the same time. He was trying to screw everybody over and figure out, he was trying to have his cake and eat it too. Right. He was trying to figure out he has have the most money. Back during the

pandemic, Phil avoided jail time and he had to give a million dollars back to investors after he got busted doing insider trading on a company. He was exchanging information before it became public and then he was trading on that information. Well, it's happening again. Phil got caught in a bunch of WhatsApp messages inside of a group trying to, it's always what's that. I know. It's the most secure messaging platform in the world is the least secure messaging platform in the world, just to let you know. But apparently they had this group going on about this offshore oil company in California.

And the offshore oil company in California is doing poorly because Gavin Newsom signed some law and now they can't ship their oil straight to California. They've got to go somewhere else and whatever. So what do they do? They get Phil involved. Phil starts trading on the information. And Phil decides he's going to set up some golf time with his old buddy who, Donald Trump. That's right, or the people in the administration. And he's going to whine and dine them and golf them into submission. So essentially, they can write some federal law that's going to allow this company, his company that he's invested in to run oil through a different methodology that's going to get his oil. I mean, it's not a bad strategy. Seems to be working. working with like a lot of other. Of course. Go, bend the knee, suck the nut, and then you get what you want financially. That's how it works. You know, suck the nut, give them a piece of your company, hand them $100 million check.

You get what you want. You get out of jail, whatever it is. That's the way it is. It's transactional at the very top. Well, but then they're trading on this information. Then they're moving the markets on this information. So it seems like Phil has been involved in yet another insider trading scandal that, But, you know, he could or he probably won't get in trouble because, you know, who's at the top.

The guy he's playing golf with, so I don't imagine anything will happen there. But Phil turned out to be kind of a douche. I know. It's disappointing. It is disappointing. And I don't understand it. You know, you got, it's just like this whole Epstein thing, if I'm being real honest. You know, you're at the top of the world.

You got everything at your disposal. You could literally get hundreds or thousands of girls or guys above the age of 18 years old to sit in your pool, to hang out at your jacuzzi, to come to your wine cellar, to give you a blowy on the bed, whatever it is, right? Give you a blowy on the boat. I don't know what your thing, whatever it is you're into. And they can be 21 years old, 24 years old. You know, I don't know, whatever the law requires them to be. but you have to take it to a place that's absolutely illegal, disgusting, and abusive, because why? I guess because you can.

I don't really know the answer to that. But when you have that much at your disposal, when you are literally at the top of the world, and everyone else below you is, you know, just clawing to get there and you've got it, you made it, you did it. Why? Well, it's like you're above the law. Yeah. And so it's like Phil just got a $500 million fucking check from the Saudi Arabia government. As if that wasn't bad enough, as if I don't have my, you know, problems with that in and of itself. He decides that he needs to make a couple extra bucks golfing with, you know,

the great orange deity in the sky. I mean, come on. Old French fry fish of fillet dude. I mean, let's get it together, guys. Phil, I was really rooting for you. I thought you might have been one of the guys we could all say, I root for Phil. But when you went to Live Golf, I decided I can't root for Phil anymore. And by the way, has anybody ever watched a round of Live Golf? Let's be honest.

I have not. No. I've known people that have watched it. They said it was okay. It's too complicated. Yeah, there's a lot of going on. Points and, you know, this score here and do this match and do that match. it's on a channel you can't find. It's on the WB. And I don't think the WB is actually on cable television. I think you actually do have to have antenna ears to get the WB. So it's on WB. And then I see people there at the events, but I don't think they charge people to get in the events. I think they say, hey, what are you doing Saturday? You want to come? Where do they hold these events? Trump. Trump golf courses. It's true. It's absolutely true. It's a sham. But they got the money to keep doing it for,

ever and ever. And now we are seeing the first defectors back to the PGA. Oh, really? From Live Golf. That's right. Who is that? Somebody you don't know. But essentially, he left Liv, he left Liv. He went back to the DP World Tour, which is like the Corn Fairy League. And he gained his card. It's a league. It's where you, corn fairy tournament, where you go, or, yeah, league. It's like the, it's like a, it's like AA-based. The minor leagues. Okay. You go there and you can earn one of, whatever it is, 20 tour cards by winning a tournament or, you know, having the best swing. I don't know. I don't know. Something.

Okay. Yeah. Just say the minor leagues of golf. The minor leagues of golf. You can get into the, you can get in if you can do things that are good and do stuff. You got to build back up. Build back better. If you don't mind, build back better.

Whatever happened to that tagline? Yeah, what was that? Oh, that was Melania. That was hers was B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bder. Oh, no, I think that was Biden, actually, that said build-back better. Which is just as dumb, let's be honest, okay? All right, build-back better. Who's working at the White House at the last 12 years?

Where's Obama when you do it? Fuck, Bill Clinton, I don't know, somebody. I mean, George Bush Jr. I feel like, I don't know. I'm not saying we should invite the guy back, but I'm saying if he came back, I probably wouldn't be super happy about it, but I'd be like, well, at least we know what we're getting.

Yeah. Yeah. We're not getting the guy talking to the McDonald's franchise people on a random Tuesday. What are you doing? McDonald's people. Ah, the McDonald's people. Franchisees of McDonald's.

All right. Anyway, Phil, stop being a dick. Stop it. Straight up. Yeah, you're like 58 years old. Yeah. You've got a couple more years to turn things around here. Let's get on, do some charity work, come back to the PGA, go on the senior PGA.

You know, put some eyeballs there. They need it. Once Tiger hits that senior PGA, and he will at some point. Once he does, we're going to be. you watching every senior PGA tournament. Everybody is. He just needs to stay healthy. God. Yeah, I know he had his 44th back surgery the other day.

It's not even news anymore. You have to like find it. You have to dig deep in the news catalog to find it. But Tiger's dating like one of the Trumps too. Everyone's dating Trump. That's right. It's the ex-wife. Yeah.

Kai Trump's. Kai Trump. Yeah. Don Jr.'s ex-wife's girlfriend or something like that. They're all up there connected. Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter. They're all up there connected. They're all laughing.

They're all going to laugh at you. They're all laughing at us. All right. 212-433-3-TCB at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, now streaming on Twitch, which is also at TCB podcast, and YouTube, the commercial break, slash the commercial break. Okay.

All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.

We do say, and we must say. Goodbye.