The Commercial Break - They Call Me The Hoadley

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

The Bit: Crabapple resident Nancy gets ready for Hurricane Daffodil. The Show: Bryan welcomes Hoadley as the "official" co-host of TCB, they reminise about their early days as friends and they ponder the future. Bryan then explains why he won't be joining any boat parades anytime soon. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Facebook Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Skip Barrington and this is WSHIT's Weather at 6. Weather you can almost count on. Well, the hurricane season is upon us again and with Hurricane Daffodil bearing down on us, some residents have decided to ride it out at home. We caught up with Nancy Applebottom at Doug's Use Licker Store to find out what she'd do if she lost power. We'll probably sit around and cook some soups and eat bread and desserts and just get all fat and sassy. Sounds like Nancy's a real party in the panties.

This reporter would take an invitation from her any day of the week. Seriously, I'm pretty lonely. Let's take a quick commercial break in. We'll be right back with WSHIT's News at 6. News, you can almost use. In early 2020, the world shut down. Stores, restaurants, schools, and whole communities shut their doors in an effort to protect human life. As the world quickly changed, one man went on Facebook to get a degree in Internet epidemiology.

Brian, along with his lab assistant, HOTELY, are curing coronavirus by commenting on fake news and reposting recipes of secret virus cures from a friend of a friend who works high up in government. Join Brian and HOTELY as they discuss the world and life doing this forced interruption, learning, laughing and loving in this real life commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break. You know, have you done radio before? Because it sounds like I have done radio before.

But trust me, it's nothing to brag about. Because I got kicked off the radio. I was kicked off more than I was kicked off. Okay, bye. Thank you. We're here. Podcast universe are always helping here to help your ego. So we had what is this guy's name, by the way? He made many appearances now. I think maybe he deserves a name.

I think his name is Henry Fonda. That's Mr. Fonda to you. You know, I mean, I guess it's like a rally, but without Trump, and all the latewoods, the boats. Okay. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss who is where my father is enjoying his retirement. I'll say hi to my father. He's now become a fan of the commercial raker. I don't know if he's a fan of the commercial raker. He's hate-listening. He's like, he knows I got that funny voice for my mom.

He's just waiting for me to make a funny voice about him so that he can disinvite me to the lake. So he can be like, I'm sorry, we're really busy this week. Yeah, we have a boat. He does have a boat. He has a boat. And it's a hell of a boat. It's like a boat. He has a boat and it's a hell of a boat. It's like the boat from Gilligan's Island.

And he's the skipper. It's a pontoon boat. So it's a boat with two pontoons and then whole flat areas. It's like a big old open area. And so when we go up there to the lake, my son absolutely has fallen in love with the boat. Just like I did as a child.

It's like a just a thing, it's a fun. It's a ride. Yeah, it's a ride. But when we were kids, we had a ski boat, like an open-bow ski boat. So there wasn't a ton of room to run around. Do you either sitting up front in the open bow, or you're sitting in one of the captain's chairs in the back?

And that thing went. I mean, it goes, right? And so my dad now has this pond dune boat that's much more of the speed for small children because you can just kind of run around right but they have these little doors That pop open on each side and then in the front and my son He just runs back and forth on the boat just runs and runs and runs trips falls bangs his head runs and runs my yeah My dad'll go into the bridge. He'll slow down for a second and then you know As soon as my dad starts to pump the gas my son is in the middle of the boat just standing there.

He just flies to the back of the boat. He flies to the back of the boat. So my dad turns to me, and it's obvious that now, Mattias is, you know, of a certain age that he's just a wild child, he's a boy, he's two years old, and he's doing, he's a maniac, basically. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, Brian Green Jr.

It's basically what he is. Oh, Lord. He's a maniac, he doesn't stop. Tiktok Jr. It's basically what he is. Oh, Lord. He's a maniac, he doesn't stop. TikTok, he doesn't stop. And so my dad looks at me, we're on the boat, taking this lovely, you know, evening stroll around the lake. And my dad turns to me and he goes, he didn't turn to me, actually, he's yelling at me.

Okay, listen, if Matthias falls in the water, the first thing you do is you get a, you get your own life jacket and then you go in after him. And I'm like, what? And he's like, if Matthias falls in the water, get your own life jacket. And then you go after him. And I'm like, dad, if my son falls in the water,

I'm going right after him. I give my son flies off the boat. I'm just gonna jump in after him. No, no, no, we don't need two drownings. We just want one. And I'm like, dad, I think you've thought about this way too much. Are you, and now I think my dad's really concerned

about my son falling off the boat because he's spent way too much time thinking about what happens if my son falls off the boat and now he's got to communicate that to me. So, but it's a lovely lake and you know, I went up there and there's a chill in the air. It's Memorial Day weekend or Labor Day weekend. There's a chill in the air.

Yes, it's definitely getting cooler. I love it. I love it. I do. I love this time of year. Be too. Yeah. It's my favorite. It is my favorite time of year. So you're going to go to, what are you going to do? You're going to go to www.tcbpodcast.com and you're going to join the break room. And I'm going to tell you why you should join the break room right now as you're sitting there listening to this podcast because you as a break room member will have all access to our now YouTube video channel

with thousands and thousands of seconds of video that we've recorded for your viewing pleasure. Say what? Say it's not true. Oh my God. We have last week's video is up there and we have started recording these for YouTube, but right now only the break room members have access Chrissy.

So it's a very exclusive and elusive club that you can join. But there's only a few steps you have to take, but you've got to go take those steps. You've got to go to www.tcbpodcast.com. There's a big button there that says join the break room. Go ahead and enter your information and shithead is not a first name Just in case the smart ass is out there I've had about four shit heads so far so People are funny man. It's just the internet. The internet is just a world of cloak and dagger and they don't you know I

Believe they think it's hurting my feelings It's not hurting my feelings. I think it's quite funny actually when you write shit head for your first name and then one, two, three at computer.com. Like, you got me, man. You got me. But you know, that's the world we live in.

America. So go there and you can join the break room. You'll get access to our now live YouTube channel. We will go public with that YouTube channel in a couple of weeks or maybe a month. But for right now, only the break room members get that. So you want to be a part of that club. You'll also get our newsletter with extra content

every single month. And that newsletter, Chrissy, I need not, I remind you, need not I remind you that newsletter is coming fast and furious on my calendar. I have to actually get around to doing that. And so you'll join the break room there. And also we are soliciting sound bites, any audio that you think is funny, including song parodies, clips, little bits that you guys out there in the internet's world do.

We are soliciting those openly and freely, but you have to agree to two things. Number one, you have to agree. You own the content. You not send me clips, you know, whole movie clips. And expect me to play it because I can't play it because I'm not Howard Stern. So I don't have that kind of, I don't have that kind of doe, Chrissy. Yeah. Number two.

And number two, and this is most important. I'm not paying you for anything that you send me, so you have to agree to those two things, and I will send it right off to you. So I wanted to take a moment to recognize something here, right off the bat. Chrissy, holy my good friend. We've been friends for how long do you think?

Well, I was saying since 2007. So like 13 years. Wow, time flies. I'm not can't believe it. So Chrissy and I met at a large radio company that we worked at. And if you listen to the show, you know which radio company I don't feel like dropping their name right now.

But we met at a large radio company. We were working at the same cluster of radio stations. Cluster. Cluster. Cluster same cluster of radio stations. Cluster. Cluster. It was a cluster. Cluster was a good name. Yeah. It was like the gang that couldn't shoot straight over there.

But, and we were, listen, to be fair, we were part of the gang that couldn't shoot straight. So, you know, you just, I was fair in love and war. And so we met at this cluster and Chrissy and I became instantaneous friends. I was married at the time. I was brand new to the cluster in a brand new position with brand new responsibilities that no one had ever had before.

And Chrissy and I quickly found a kinship together. I think you'll agree, we've done. Yes, absolutely. Fast friends. We work. And trouble makers at that. Yes. I surely got'll agree. We're absolutely fast friends and trouble makers at that. Yes. I surely got a divorce after I started clear channel. My wife quickly filed for divorce and started working a clear channel. Probably because I was working a clear channel. And

so then Christianized friendship when even you know know, well, at that point, we're both single. We're both single. Going out to all these different radio promotions and parties and concerts. So yeah, we were on the loose. We had in the bra, the Atlanta braves are the professional baseball team here in the United States of America and Atlanta, Georgia. And one of the guys who worked at the Braves, even though I didn't work directly for the Braves, we had the broadcasting rights to the Atlanta Braves. And so along those broadcasting rights

came a whole shitload of perks, right? Tickets out to Wazoo, you never wanted for a ticket to the Braves game. Luxury boxes, you took the plan. Luxury boxes, you took the plan. A huge tab to the Braves game luxury boxes you took a plan a huge tab at the bar and the private club upstairs I mean it was a whole thing like those guys did a great job in negotiating those rights because along with it came about 75 million dollars quit the free booze for just Chrissy and I basically so the guy who was in charge of, in responsible for the, for the braves,

did, did me a favor and gave me like an all-access pass one season. He's like, well, you're not technically a part of the Braves Radio Network, but, you know, you're, I don't know, maybe he thought it was a funny guy. And he just said, you know, here, we're gonna get you a pass. Here's a pass. And so,

If you were good with clients, I I was good I was good with clients shot shot shot shot shot right I don't know how many actual game full games I watched because somehow everybody ended up at the ball there was no interesting baseball I don't remember one thing about the baseball game but But I remember a lot of great times in that particular season or two when we had kind of the run of the roost, right? And we were at Turner Field when we were doing whatever it is we wanted to do

because we had these passes around our neck that ensured that no one was going to fuck with us no matter what we did. We basically a bunch of spoiled rats running around the stadium, making our radio cluster look horrible, whatever. And so, Chrissy and I, you know, now we find ourselves both single out on the town at these braves games, at all these events. It's just, you know, radio was a fun atmosphere to work in because there were a lot of late

night activities that you could go and do, and it was fun. And we had a lot of friends that joined us with us. So our friendship deepened at that point, and then continued on from there as we've grown, and most definitely not matured, but, you know, we drink a little bit less, but, I'll leave it up to you to determine what little means. Right.

So when I decided that I was going to jump on this whole podcasting bad and wagon, I had done some radio before. So I've gotten this question a couple of times, so I'll answer it on air. You know, have you done radio before? Because it sounds like I have done radio before. But trust me, it's nothing to brag about. Because I got kicked off the radio. I was kicked off more than I was kicked off. That's what it's like. And this is where we met here at the radio station. So when I decided that, but I always loved the format, the medium of audio, since I was a little kid, and I would make the little radio station bits

to like tape cassette recorder. I would literally put three tape cassette recorders together to like make little bits up. I would record one piece and then I would play it while I was talking over the other piece and then some music behind it. And I always thought those guys that were on the radio station, the Rock Radio stations in Chicago were really cool, right?

And so I've quite enjoyed this medium. But when I decided I was going to do a podcast, I really wanted to do what's called a solo chat cast or a solo cast, which would just be me talking about my general thoughts about the world. And it was, my first idea, the intention was to be so much more serious. You would not believe what I had in store

for the first podcast, it wouldn't have sounded anything like this. It would be me literally, you know, being serious, which is not, it's just wouldn't have been good. I'm so glad that I went this out of its direction because I had the intention to find people on the internet who are super duper controversial, like white supremacists and you know, people who put on the, you know,

pray the gay away camps and all kind of bullshit like that, have them on, find them, invite them on, put them on with me, and then not necessarily tear them a new one, but find out exactly what the fuck is going on in their heads. That was my intention, and I thought that that would be a really interesting podcast and maybe it would have been. But I couldn't get those people to respond to me. I tried to test. I tried to test. Wow.

More, more, more, more, more. I couldn't get anybody to respond to me. Literally could not get anybody to respond to me. I talked to one guy about the people who are celibate, the who are the people who are celibate, the guys who are celibate without, you know what I'm talking about? I put this on before.

I forgot the term too, but the guy, oh, in cells, involuntarily celibate. I got a hold of a guy that was involuntarily celibate on Reddit, and I just decided that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life talking to these guys. It's all talking points and indoctrination and all this other stuff. So I said, I'm really sad about this because I now I don't know what I'm going to do. And I thought to myself, well, maybe I just need to get on there and start talking.

And if I get on there and start talking, something will come of it, right? Maybe I need to do more of a show in the vein of the radio show that I was doing, which is just do a little bit of comedy, have some fun, talk about the things, talk about your life, talk about the things you know about. I didn't want to do it by myself. That was the only problem. I didn't want to do it by myself. That was the only problem.

I didn't want to do the first one by myself. So I invited Chrissy Houdley on. And I could not have made a better choice. Ha ha ha ha ha. Because I think you've really become a huge part of the show. And I'm so happy that we could spend this time together during the pandemic.

Time that we otherwise would not be spending together for sure. Maybe we'd be touching base with each other on text or phone calls, but we wouldn't be seeing each other and we certainly wouldn't be spending all of this time talking to each other if it wasn't for the show. But more importantly, I think you've become a huge part of the personality of the show. And so I just wanted to take this time to say thank you, first of all, for being on the show. But I wanted to recognize you as now the official co-host

of the commercial break. Woo. Because I have changed the logo to put your name on it. And so that comes with a pay raise and all kind of good stuff. And by pay raise, I mean, I got you one of these fancy mugs with the TCV logo on it, Chrissy. I'm so excited. Do I have to declare that on my taxes? I know you check of these fancy mugs with the TCV logo on it, Chrissy. I'm so excited. Dan, can I have a declare that all my taxes?

I know you'll check with your accountant on that one. But I will let you know you are also going to be an honorary member of the break room forever. Chrissy, hoodlite. Thank you very much. That means you're not even your name, by the way. What do you used to be? It used to be your name. So we've changed the name of the way. What used to be? It used to be your name. Yeah, so we've changed the name of the ship.

You barely ever called me Chrissy anyways, it's just always been hoatley. I walked into that awful radio place that we used to work. And I got my stuff, it was like a sad, I've been hired and I went in for my first day on Friday, but Chrissy was not there on that particular Friday. And so I just went in for a few hours to meet all of the other manager director types

that were working in the office and we had a meeting and then I went home and they gave me the keys of the office, the keys to the kingdom, they gave me the keys to my divorce and all the other stuff. They gave that to me in the car port and all this other shit. And my wife and I at the time decided, well, that was a Friday, on Saturday, we're gonna go and we'll set up the office.

We'll put a fake plant in the corner, we'll make it sound, we'll make it look all officially off-o-se. And when I did that, I walked past your desk and I noticed the name, Chrissy Houdley, right? And I remember saying to my wife at the time, Houdley, that's an interesting last name. HODLY.

But what happened there is before I even met Chrissy HODLY, I started singing a song like HODLY-DODLY, HODLY-DODLY. My wife was driving my wife at the time crazy because the whole weekend I was like, HODLY-DODLY. And she was like, you don't even know what this verse it is. I was like, I know what it is. What an interesting last name, HODLY-DODLY. And she's like, you don't even know what this first it is. I was like, I know what it's, what an interesting last name, HODLY doodly.

And she's like, it's not HODLY doodly. It's just HODLY. And her name is Chrissy. She's probably wants to be called Chrissy, not HODLY doodly. Well, convention be damned, my friends, because I went in and from minute one, I did not call her Chrissy. I called her Chrissy HODLY. And in some cases, I called her HODLY, DODLY.

You did, and then other people in the office also took your lead. Not the next thing I know. Everyone in the office is calling me HODLY. It was amazing. It was just a maze vaults. Yeah. I mean, yeah, after all these years of making it through schools and things and whatever nothing like that had ever happened. I and I've come to love it. Is it? Is it a true or false statement that other people in your life call you?

HODLY Outside of knowing me. So in other words, I know that it kind of called that's a false statement So I'm the only one that calls you HODLY And so because of me now there's a whole select group of human beings out there that you know that in any kind of environment or setting, call you, hopefully instead of your actual name, which is Chrissy,

I mean, your name is, hopefully, but well, and when we put you up on the video screen, just to let you know, in memorandum of my calling you, hopefully we actually put, hopefully in in memorandum of my calling you HODLY we actually put HODLY instead in memorandum. Well, memorandum. Well, there's something for when somebody dies like Emma Mori.

John, John's mortuary, how can I help you? Yes, I, I am trying to, I would like a plaque in Memorandum. I did grandfather. You want a Memorandum for you? Did grandfather? I do. Mm-hmm, okay, I'll have my secretary, right? That I've been sent to you.

In Memorandum. Take a Memo Random. I think that's where memo comes from, the memos. Oh, the Memo Random. But it's Memo Random, isn't it? Or is it Memo Random? I don't know. I don't know. I'm so bad.

Even though I am an expert in all things dick, like dictionary. Oh, and i have to correct something from my story last week if you heard episode number twenty two uh... i said dick delicious and the tasty tones it's actually dick delicious in the tasty testicles that's even better that's

that's that's that's uh... i don't know. I think everybody needs some thick and tasty testicles and their life. Don't you mouth off to me or I'm gonna slap you riding your paint. Dic delicious and the tasty testicles. I told the story you could go back and listen to it about a band that I used to travel around the Southeast called

Dictus a Dictus a Dictus delicious and the tasty tones. It was Dictus delicious and the tasty Testicles. That's a pretty awesome name for a band. So anyway, Chrissy I want to say thank you very much for for joining the show now an official part of the show and she will be with me for the long haul Or until you get sick of me Absolutely bride if I haven't gotten sick of you by now, a minute. You've all lost that at least one of my wives. A minute with you.

Thank you very much, I appreciate it. I'm so happy to be a part of it. And it's been truly a bright spot. I mean, we always have so much fun when we get together. Oh, man. Even as life has gone on before the pandemic, you were getting married again and having children. And so we didn't see each other as much. So this has just been delightful.

Yeah, look at that. A little sentiment here at the commercial break. No, it is. And I think that Alice, our friend Allison risk hair put it perfectly on show number one. She said, Chrissy Hodeley is your perfect foil. She's like the, she's like the yin to your yang. You need that in the audience, because Allison was part of me actually pushing me to kind of get onto a podcast. So I owe her a dead of gratitude also. And I always thought that maybe you would come on

for a few episodes or you would have a reoccurring role. But I never, at least at first, I didn't imagine that that would be something extremely long term. But then it became clear after five or six episodes that like, hey, this is, this is working and it's funny. And I like it. And I enjoy it. So if I enjoy it and it makes the show enjoy a bowl, if it's easier to get through the show with you on it, then it's best to have you there permanently. So now it's official. And we thank everybody out there who's been listening because we've been met with some incredible success. At least that's what we consider incredible success.

Listen, we're not will-fair. We don't have a million listeners. But our little pocket of listeners is something we also never expected. Exactly. Exactly. Every time we get a new listener, I'm like, what? You're not hard welcome, man. Every time we get a new listener, I'm like, what? You're not welcome, man, no problem. Hey, man, what's going on with my banner ad?

Well, we had some technical difficulties. What kind of technical difficulties did you have? We didn't exactly have a website up yet. Where did my banner ad go? I've been wearing it on my forehead. Then how are people subscribing? Well, I'd have a little check mark. I say check here, leave your email address somewhere between my eyeballs and my chin, and I promise I'll get you the show. Well, I paid a lot of money for that. Yes, you did,

my friend. Thank you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it. But don't worry about the little website issue. These are little technical difficulties that we can work through. Listen, if you want to, I've got another type of advertising that I think will work very well for you. And what is that? I am going to rent an airplane somewhere in Argentina. I'm going to have them fly around with a banner my day. This is like the most effective type of advertising. Oh, is it? No, you wouldn't even believe.

I've gotten such an incredible response. I've made at least $30 from the banner that I'm currently flying behind my airplane. You have an airplane? Yes, I do. Maybe you should sell the airplane and buy a website. Listen, you don't tell me how to run my business, and I won't tell you what to put on the podcast. Okay, listen, I think we're going to just pause

the banner advertising for right now. Okay, listen, don't be upset. I'm going to get these things worked out any moment. How's the gateway working? It crashed. I had to buy an apple. I'm so sorry about that. Was it within the three day window? No, it happened like it happened like an hour after the three day window expired. Go figure. Okay, we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. Thank you. We're here in podcast universe are always helping here to help your ego. So we had what is this guy's name, by the way? He made many appearances now. I think maybe he deserves a name I think his name is Henry Fonda that's Mr. Fonda to you who am I saying who am I making the check out to Henry Jay Fonda

okay where am I sending that well Well a couple different places. I want you to send this, send it to a couple different places. Do you know a career? No one uses careers anymore. Oh, no, no, no, we use them all the time. They're bringing your website right now. Okay, Henry, I'll talk to you later. So I never expected that we would get like, you know, maybe like 20 listeners and then now here we are, you know, celebrating 30 listeners. That's about to say.

It's a very strong band or wildest dream. Oh, so thank you very much. So we're on episode number 23. That's amazing. We're two or six months into this and we've been doing that and we were a month into the pandemic when we started. So now we're like seven months into the pandemic. It's absolutely insane.

It's crazy to make it out. Yeah, no relief coming from Congress, no leadership coming from anywhere. We're in the middle of a hotly contested election. It's just insane to think that we are exactly where we started with this pandemic. Like I would have thought that maybe six months later, we'd be, you know, back to somewhat normal. But then I heard that there'd be a treatment or something. Then I heard Dr. Fauci say today that he doesn't think that we're going to be back to normal until late 2021, if not early 2022.

Well, let's see, at that point, I don't even think there will be a back to normal. I mean, I don't think there's going to be a back to normal, even if it stops tomorrow. They find a cure tomorrow. I don't think hand shaking is going to be day. I don't think there's gonna be a back to normal, even if it stops tomorrow. They find a cure tomorrow. I don't think hand-shaking is gonna be a thing we do a lot of any longer. I think there's just gonna be a lot of things that are much different. We're all gonna be a little bit germophobic.

And it's just gonna be a different world and environment that we live in. A lot of working remotely. Yeah, working remotely. I'm telling you what, I work in the commercial real estate business and the people who own office space right now are scared fucking shitless. Oh, I bet. Because they own a bunch of, you what, I work in the commercial real estate business and the people who own office space right now are scared fucking shitless.

I love that. Because they own a bunch of, you know, they own a lot of square footage of office space and they don't know that that office space is going to be filled. And there are some large companies like Salesforce, Google, Facebook, Airbnb. They're all saying you don't have to come back to work. Like you don't have to come back to the office.

You're perfectly good where you are. If that's the case, then what happens with all this office space? Well, I don't know. It might go the way of the mall. They're going to have to repurpose that into condos or apartments or something. The whole landscape is going to change a little bit. It'll like everything. It's not going to happen overnight.

It'll take time. It'll be slow. It's going gonna be interesting. But, you know, as we've moved this pandemic, we've learned a few things, right? And one of the things that we've learned is that everybody and their mother started a podcast, including. This is very true, literally, every week.

Literally, I mean, it's just amazing. So we are gonna start probably in the next couple of weeks. We're gonna start a little, to start a little pandemic podcast corner, where we're going to start suggesting some of the best and some of the worst podcasts that we can find. Because now that we're doing podcasts, I've started to really get into listening to random podcasts. And I've found some really good ones that,

I don't know if they have any listeners or not, I can't tell, but I have found some really bad ones that I can tell have some listeners. And it's just unbelievable to me, but it seems like we've all started these in the middle of the pandemic. There's, by some counts, a million additional podcasts have been started since the pandemic began. And that's just amazeballs to me, right? So I believe it.

So we've learned that. We've also learned that testing is really the way forward. Like, testing, getting yourself tested pretty consistently is the way that we can all keep each other safe and knowledgeable about what's going on and where the virus is. And we're still not up to snuff on the testing. Though here in Atlanta, at least,

we can get testing pretty quickly and get the results pretty quickly. It's not that way everywhere. No. And I really think a quick at home rapid COVID test is the answer that gets us all back to somewhat normal, right? But still no leadership on that either. So I hope that we can get to the bottom of that soon

and later. And that's the interesting part about this pandemic is that my world has shrunk to just really a few people, right? It's you, I mean, a few people face to face. It's you, but that's just because we see each other every once in a while. It's my immediate family. It's the people that help out with my immediate family.

Some people that babysit sometimes for us, and stuff like that, my good friends. And then my father, I mean, my mother too, but then my father too. So my father's house has kind of become like this, like, little getaway that we can, like, yeah, a little vacation this like little getaway that we can yeah a little vacation this little getaway up there and he lives on this beautiful lake that's

you know up there somewhere he lives on this beautiful lake and he's got a beautiful house and you know it's like the retirement of his dreams. And so we go to this is some place now we're frequenting I would say every other week maybe we're going up there for a couple of days or at least once a month. So we go up there and we go to this lake. I've been boating all my life. My dad had a boat when we were really young. We've been boating all our life. My dad taught us how to drive a boat when we were young. Tought us the safety rules of the world. Let me tell you a story real quick. My dad gets it. You knew it was coming. Here it is.

My dad, My wife says they're going to be a podcast episode where you don't tell a story about yourself. And I was like, well, no, probably not. I'll run. Don't worry. I'll run out of stories at some point. Now you won't mind. I know. I've listening to you talk stories for 13 years.

And I still hear new ones. You're like, wow, he's my 13 years and I still hear new ones. All the time. You're like, wow, he's really full of shit. That's a good storyteller. Thank you. Thank you very much. It was I was trying to explain this to my wife. I'm like, I think there's some value in my storytelling.

I make, you know, some of them might be a little fish taili, right? They might be a little more grandiose than they actually were, but that's, but who fucking cares? Like I'm just telling a story. It's just my perception of my life. My favorite ones has got to be real quick. It just came to mind about the Christmas time piano. Yeah.

It's the bed. When I've played home sweet home. Yeah. I'm never going to live that down. And by the way, that story is not a fish tale. That is word for word true. It's just, it was the most embarrassing. What episode is that where we talked about that?

Oh God, I think it's maybe. It's maybe 16. It's maybe 16. Is it episodes? I think it's episodes 16. I know episodes 15 is with Rachel. So I think it's episodes 16. But man, if you haven't was an episode.

I think really funny is story. If you haven't had listened to episode, I'll put it in the show. That picture is the thing. Like, I'll put it in the show. That's what you picture it is the thing. Like, I can fully picture this is going down. Brian and his in-laws who do not speak much English inside of a beautiful Swiss chalet hotel for New Year's Eve.

And I won't re-tell the whole story because you can go back and listen to it. But basically, I had been explaining to my wife what a wonderful instrumentalologist I was. I had a grasp on many different types of instruments I could play, and I was really quite good at all of them. And her father overheard this and decided he was going to press me to play the piano in the middle of a New Year's Eve party at the at the Shale, and he just embarrassed me up into going up there and proving him right that I had no idea how to play the fucking piano. I mean a little bit, but I just do one song and it was Home Sweet Home by Mollie Crew.

So when my dad, when we got here to Atlanta, the one of the first things that might, I think my dad was doing his best to like make sure that we felt like we were doing things and we felt that some kind of ease or we were having some kind of fun because we moved all the way from Chicago, we knew no one, no one, not a soul. And that's a big move. When you move to somewhere where you don't know anybody, when you're a child, and I was like, you know, whatever, 11, 12 years old, it was a big deal. We're moving away from all of our friends and our family and everybody that we know. So my dad was trying to make it fun. And I think one of the things that he wanted to do was have something for

us to do on the weekends and in the summer. So he'd I think he'd always wanted a boat. So he goes to the boat show and the boat show guy convinces him to buy a boat, right? An open-bow ski boat. But my dad was not like a boat or per se. He just liked going on the boat. But he had never operated a boat as a boat owner. Right? And we go out our first or second, this is our first or second day, but I will never forget this.

I, we have these skis, like water skis, and we're trying to learn how to water ski. And my dad's trying to learn how to pull us on the water ski, right? Right? There's a little bit. There's an art to it, right? And so I'm out back and I am skiing and I'm just not getting up and my dad says,

okay, come on in and we'll give one of the other boys a try. The engine is on. And I'm swimming up to the back of the boat where the ladder is and I say the engine's on, right? My dad says, don't worry about it. It's an idol. Just get up and come on. As I start to pull myself up, I can feel something grabbing my swimsuit.

And I'm like, oh my god, I kind of jump sideways. I'm like, oh my god, I think something like grabbed my swimsuit or something like an alligator monster. Like monster. It does like, stop it. you know, get in the boat. Come on, stop fooling around back there. Stop your shit. It's Sunday, spare me the bullshit, right?

So I get up into the boat and my shorts are shredded. Oh my God. I had been, I had the, yeah, the engine, the till had gotten me, right? It had gotten me, but it didn't get me. It got my, my very, at that time, baggy swimsuit because it was 1992 and I was, that was the fashion. Luckily, that was the fact.

I had my hammer time pants on. I can't just, and so I give back up into the boat and my dad's like, oh my God, you know, my, and Kevin's like, why didn't it just take him all the way in? And they, you know, my dad's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, ah, you know, ah, everyone's freaking out.

And my dad teaches us the number one rule about boating is always turn the fucking engine off, right? You never have people in the water behind you when the engine is on. You just don't do it. Or in front of you or on the side of you, if you're out of the boat, the engine should be off completely off, not an idol, not in backwards, not in forwards, nothing. It should just be off unless you're towing somebody and there are 100 feet away on a ski rope or whatever.

That's just one of the rules. And then my dad taught, my dad as he learned taught us the safety rules of boating. And I appreciate that because now I have a skill, or it's not a skill, it's not like a talent, I don't have a talent at boating, right? But I know the rules of the road. And if somebody asked me to go drive a boat,

I could do that and feel comfortable that I was being safe and that I was being I'm sorry. I just I just thought of this time that we went to the lake and This is when we were adults and my dad like had given the boat to us He was like here take this piece of shit I don't want anymore. It's a money haul and I drove the boat up onto the shore He was like, here, take this piece of shit. I don't want it anymore.

It's a money haul. And I drove the boat up onto the shore. As I'm saying, I'm being saved. And I'm being appropriate. But there are some rules to boating that you really have to pay attention to. One of those is in choppy water, you always got to drive your boat into the wave. You don't want to move sideways because then your boat could flip over. I say all of this is a long-winded way of saying that these Trump boat parades that are going on

are a complete fucking disaster and it needs to stop because they are ignoring every rule of boat safety period end of sentence. You cannot have 60 foot, yeah, for those of you who don't know, and I'm sure most of you do because it's a running joke here in the United States yet, and I actually I don't think some of it's very funny because people can get hurt. People can die, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Somebody down in Mar-a-Lago or say, you know, in Mar-a-Lago decided that they were going to start a Trump boat parade. That's basically a bunch of people who support Donald Trump getting in their boats and driving in circle driving in circle. Like with a bunch of flags.

Yeah, with a bunch of flags and a bunch of, you know, Trump paraphernalia and then just drum. I don't know what the purpose is. I don't know what they're, I don't know. They're not raising money or anything. They're just running, they're just driving in circles. They're just, drum supporters on a bunch driving in circles. But're just some supporters on a driving in circles. But God bless them. If that's the way you want to show your affection for Donald, for our dear leader, Donald Trump, then that's how you do it. So they're driving in circles and they're chumming up the water.

They're making it super duper choppy. The problem is, is that any small craft owner will know, you're not going to get in the wake of a fucking, you know, Norwegian cruise liner because it's going to suck you right in or it's going to tip you over. Big boats have big wakes and you got to stay out of that wake. When there's big boats mixed with small boats and they're all chumming up a lake like, okay, so it's fine in Mar-a-Lago where it's the ocean where you're not going to do much damage.

You're just, you know, it's just an ocean. So it's infinite water. You're not going to be able to tum up the water too much. But there have been a couple people now that have their boats have sank. Actually, I think there was like six boats that sank over the Labor Day weekend. Yes. Because they were in this lake that's notoriously known for choppy water and bad currents anyway, just kind of a weird lake that's not easy on. That's when it on. Is that the one in Austin? Yeah, the one in Austin, Texas, yeah. Yeah, Lake Travis, I've been there.

Have you? So what's the deal there? Why is it so dangerous? Why is everyone say lake Austin so dangerous? I don't know. Well, I don't know either because that's the kind of research I do on these stories. But I wake up on Sunday morning and I'm reading all about this

and I'm watching the videos of these these poor people that are losing their boats They're going down in a second. They're like they you know one bad wave comes over the bow or the back of the boat And the boat goes down and it goes down it goes down fucking quick too Yeah, it's just a tiny little boat. It's a ski it's a 20 foot ski boat It's not meant to be out in 15 20 foot waves. That's just not what it's meant for But it just waves, that's just not what it's meant for. But it just, yeah, it's, but my, but so, and actually, the people who are now famously become memes on this, apparently they had nothing to do with the Trump parade.

They were just people out there that were boating, and they happened to get caught up in this bullshit, which now I feel really bad for them, because it's like, they're just trying to have a day out on the way. Yeah, but there was like 12 people in the boat and I mean when you have a 20-foot boat you shouldn't have 12 people out on the boat. But so now I'm reading all these memes holy and they are just too fucking funny. There was one that had the Titanic song like the lady, you know, here far, well, you are right as the boat-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e You're not raising money. I mean, I get it. Like, if you want to go support Trump, support Trump, but, you know.

I mean, I guess it's like a rally, but without Trump and on a lake with the boats. Okay. But if you're going to do one of those, you should put a little organization to it. And you should say, you know, the big boats are going to go in the back, let the small go boats go front.

And that way, no one is in fear of like drowning or dying because of the Trump boat parade, but they don't even think about this stuff. They just like somebody just sent out a message on Facebook. I think I was just like, everybody show. Yeah, fuck, you know, did that fucking Putin? That's who did it. It's Putin. here for a moment. Yes, Putin. Listen, I have the most wonderful idea. Yes, Putin. We are going to make stupid American drowns in stupid little egg. I want you to put together a Facebook page that says,

come join Bob for it. Brilliant master. Okay, tell big bots to go from tell big boats to go in front, do little boats going back, everyone drowned. Be brilliant master. We are like, it's so unbelievable to me. It's so unbelievable to me that it's so clear that Russia is making a lot of this stuff up

and then posting it on Facebook and Twitter and whatever and people fall for it, hook line and sinker. Like. That's Oh my God. The poor bastards, the poor bastards who have lost their boats. Listen, I'm, I really sorry. I'm sorry for you. I think happened at another, in another state too. It did.

Like in Portland. No, I think it was in I think it was on the out west was on the Potomac. They were riding them down the pit to the Potomac the Potomac the Potomac they were riding them down the Potomac and they were reenacting Washington's you know cross across the river with the truck. They were that happened I mean I wouldn't be surprised. I am the captain of the good cock loli pop Oh the good cock loli pop The name of another band that's the okay first person the name of their band the That's the, okay. First person in the name of their band, the captain of the Good Cockle Ollie Pop, he's gonna get a free,

he's gonna get a free commercial break mug. It's on me, don't worry, I'll pay for the freight. I, you know, the married at first sight that Australia is now over, it's official. Ooh. Well, no, it's not over, it's got one more episode, but it's kind of over at First sight of Australia is now over. It's official. Well, no, it's not over. It's got one more episode, but it's kind of over because you get kind of know what happened. Okay.

I was watching the US version because it comes on Wednesdays and then you have the Married at First sight Australia, which comes in on Thursdays. The Married at First sight, US version is not as interesting by any stretch of the imagination as the Australian one. As a matter of fact, I hope that they release some of the older seasons of the Australian one because I hear that some of them are really good. And now I know quite a few people actually that have started watching this television program because it's so good you have to watch it.

I know you're going to have to... You're going to have to grab your yum-yums and put lifetime on your phone. Just get it done with. So on the US version, they send them this week, they're just being a couple, they're in their little apartments, they're all living together, right? And they're having some degree of acrimony at some point, and some things are good and some things are bad. But they get sent a little telegram in the mail.

And they want you to ask each other questions as a couple kind of, you know, the like bonding, bonding exercise, having trouble with my words today. So, maybe it's all that sleep I'm not getting. They want you to have a little bonding exercise. So at some point, one of the, and I can't remember the names of the couples in the US, because honestly, it's just not that interesting. But one of the couples who don't see eye to eye on some stuff, one of the questions is, how are you going to fall in love with me? How are you going to fall in love with me and how are you going to know when?

That's the question, right? How are you going to fall in love with me? What are we going to do to make you fall in love with me essentially is what the question is. And this girl comes up, so I want you to tell me now, Chrissy, what do you consider love? What is love to you? Like I'm not talking about like I love my puppy or I love my dad or I'm talking about like I love my husband. What is love to you? It's succinctly as possible. Oh, Lord, it's a lot of things. I mean, it's kindness and trust and respect and, you know, attracted, you know, physical attraction. And all of these things kind of wrapped up into one.

I think you got basically a very, a very, it's a very common answer that you would hear if you asked somebody, what is love? Yeah. It's a very common answer that you would hear if you asked somebody, what is love? Love between me and my wife is the knowing that someone always has my back. The knowing that someone is always interested in what I have to offer and what I have to say. It's the knowing that my heart's never too big to love just a little bit more, right? They're your best friend. They're your best friend. But also your lover.

Your lover. That's the combat you're looking for. Ha ha ha. You're my best friend. And you're my lover. Ha ha ha. They don't understand. You're just 16 years old.

They don't understand my love for 16 year olds. How do they? They don't understand. Yeah for 16 year olds, so they don't understand. That's not love. So, the girl asked the guy, the guy asked the girl the question, whichever couple this is, and the girl responds like this. How are we going to fall in love with each other? I think if we just keep doing activities that we really like, we'll see each other being

passionate about those activities. That's to myself. That's the most that's the most strange answer I've ever heard. How are you going to fall in love with me? Right? And then he, but then he runs along with it. He says, yeah, I think you're right. I think when you see people doing activities that they're passionate about, that makes you passionate about them. And I'm like, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's what likes to do her makeup, but then she seems really passionate about it, but I don't feel any particular way about it. I don't feel any particularly way about her when I'm watching her do her makeup. I feel like I'm gonna have a hard question there, like how long are you gonna fall in love with me? I mean, if everybody knew the answer to those questions,

more people would be in love. Well, this is true. If they knew the answer to those questions, more people would be in love with me. Well, this is true. If they knew the answer to this question, they wouldn't be unmarried at first sight. That's for fucking sure. Because these people, these two are like a little bit nudinicky. They're just going back and, like,

she said something completely stupid and then he, he piggybacked on top of it. It was this whole conversation about how, how they were gonna get passionate about the things that they like to do And that was going to make the other person passionate about them And I'm like you're getting love all wrong You need to do things together that make you passionate about each other like do things together that you're both passionate about it

That's one of the pieces of love, but that's not even a fucking question. Why are you answering that way? I want to play the clip But I'm a little afraid that like I'm breaking some copyright laws You know, maybe I'm going to get a little more brave with the copyright laws. You know, maybe I'm gonna get a little more brave with the copyright laws, cause I hear lots of other podcasts that's doing it, right? But I wanna play the clip, but you had to have heard it.

It was like the most unintelligible answer to what is love or having something to do with love that I've ever heard. I like to play golf, but Astrid does not find me more sexy because I am out there playing golf, because Astrid has never seen me play golf, because Astrid doesn't give a fuck about golf.

It's just the way that it is. Like, I mean, just because you do something that makes you passionate doesn't mean that someone else is going to fall in love with you because that makes you passionate. And that, my friends, is why the US version of Meredith Firstight should be shot out in the barn and we should bring in the Australians for more Meredith Firstight. And I know there's probably a lot of people right now that are like, the fuck is this guy talking about? It's not gonna about a show on lifetime networks, right?

But I promise you, I promise you, give it one episode. And if you don't think it's some of the most trashy television you've ever seen in your life. I like you love trashy television. I'll give you your money back. No charge, you won't have to pay for the episode. Because watching two strangers be put in a situation where they have to be married is ultimately,

extraordinarily interesting. And when all of the people involved are made for TV, they're all camera ready, they're all like, you know, they're reality stars essentially, right? And they're coming in ready to be reality stars. Then it makes it, in its glossy, it's like a much more glossy version of the show. It's so much more interesting.

And I implore lifetime networks, which now I watch a lot of, I'm more implore. I can't not believe. Guess who? I implore lifetime networks to run the Australian version instead of the US version or make the US version a little version a little bit more like the Australian version because quite frankly it's a lot more interesting. That's just how I feel about it, Chrissy. And where did you see the Australian version? I'm lifetime networks.

Well, but you said you're asking them to put it on. No, I'm imploring them to put more of it on. I have it on. No, I'm imploring them to put more of it on. I have it all. Oh, good. So they've only had one season of the Australian version of the television show. And that one season is this season that I've been watching because they only show it in Australia. And I even have a hard time finding old seasons online

because now I'm ultimately interested in this show. I'm like, I'm a hooked. Yeah, I would watch all 12 seasons if I could. I'd be like, this is awesome. This is glossy. They put them in super controversial situations. They're all getting together all the time, getting hammered and hitting on each other.

It's so good. But then you go to the US version and it's like, you know, what are you gonna make me fall on that one, you know, I'm passionate about shit. When I'm passionate about it. Give a better answer, dude. So they can wake up. When I'm passionate about shit. When I'm passionate about it. Give a better answer, dude. So, like, wake up. When I'm passionate about stuff, you're gonna be passionate about stuff.

And they will tell me what they're gonna be thinking about. What do they decide to do? Now I'm curious with the activities. Well, Chrissy, I'm glad that you asked. I think today we're gonna go, we're trying something extraordinary and interesting. We're gonna paddle down the pond. And the lake. You know those two paddles with a little goose head? We're gonna paddle down the, we're gonna paddle in the pond. And the lake.

You know those two paddles with a little goose head, we're gonna do that. That's something I find passionate. You wanna have a picnic? What about a picnic? I'm gonna bring some live-ok. We're gonna get hammered by the picnic. You get to fucking, start breathing, dude. You're gonna jump out of a plane.

You're gonna take her to the maldives. You're gonna throw her in the closet and make sweet, sweet yum yum love to her a plane, you're gonna take her to the maldives, you're gonna throw her in the closet and make sweet, sweet yum yum love to her. Like, you know, you've been acting to think that you're passionate about your passion about the same thing dumb passion. But. I will have to talk about.

Fuckers. Fuckers. I'm mad at the US version, because now I feel like I've wasted an immense amount of my life watching the US version when I just had to go to Australia to watch a much better version. And by the way, we have quite a few Australian listeners.

So, and I am thinking to myself, when I dream at night, when I make connections that make no sense whatsoever in my head at night, like, you know, oh, somebody's listening from New York, must be Howard Stern. Right? Or somebody's listening from, yeah. Somebody's listening from LA, somebody's listening from LA must be a It must be a literary agent from Netflix ready to get ready to give us a sweet deal

Right, so when I look and I see that people are listening from Australia. I'm like, uh, it's the cast members from 90 day field From from married at first Must be did you hear that the did you hear it speaking a TV bad trashy TV? Did you hear that keeping, did you hear it speaking to TV? Bad trashy TV. Did you hear that keeping up with the Kardashians is no longer a television show? I did hear that. Our long suffering nightmare is over. It's come to an end, they're rain.

They're actually, they're rain. They're still raining. No, I think, yeah. They're still lording over everyone else. I think the truth is, is that I think they can make a lot more money. I think they make a lot more money on social media. I don't think that, you know, I don't. Yeah, they've spun out.

I think they need the television. Yeah, I don't think they need it. Yeah, I mean, who's watching the E-Life time or the E-Network anyway? Right? 500,000 people, 600,000 people. It couldn't be a lot. I mean, it's a, you know, shwaggy network. So, that Ryan Seacrest owns, I mean, Ryan Seacrest.

What a loser! What a loser, Ryan Seacrest. I mean, come on, Ryan, get a real job. Make some money. American Idol. Keeping up with the Kardashians. God, that's awesome. I mean, when are you gonna have some success?

Everything he says touches the goal. I know. I wish I was Ryan. I don't know. He was from Atlanta. He was a DJ at the radio station here, start on E4. He went to school here. He went to high school here. Yeah. And he was a start on E4 DJ. And he was actually on the show Blind Date.

You can find the Ryan Seacrest episode of Blind Date in here in Atlanta way back in the 90s and it's so fucking interesting. He's already got, he already doesn't talk like a human being. Like he's already talking like a shit head radio disjockey, like, you know, hi, my name's Ryan. I'm not sure to meet you. I'm into flowers and long logs on the beach.

He's camera ready, you know what I'm saying? He's camera ready. He's looking for any angle in. And somebody said, hey, we have this brand new shitty music contest that we're going to put together on TV. Do you want to be the host? And he went for it. And then he cut that other guy out.

What was it, Ryan? Totally cut that guy out. Totally cut that guy out. Totally cut that guy out. Yeah. But in Ryan's defense, the other guy was like, no, I'm famous now. I've done season one. I'm famous.

I'm going to go on to other things, right Right and back. I just saw something about that guy He was like on one of those shows of like where are they now or where are they now? What happened to that person and he had some bad trouble after that. Oh my god, dude He was that's like when you think of bad mistakes that guy had a bad mistake So listen, Chrissy and I are gonna continue this conversation on the break room. Go to tcbpodcast.com, that's tcbpodcast.com. There's a big button there that says, join the break room.

You can join the break room and we will send you the rest of our conversation. We're gonna end it now for episode 23 and then we'll pick it back up on the break room. The break room members will get it sometime this week when you're listening to the actual episode. You're gonna get the rest of this conversation so it should work out just fine for you.

You'll also get the video version of the commercial break if you join the break room send us your song parodies and audio clips. You can send them to infoattscb.com that's infoattscb.com and make sure that you hit all the socials that's at the commercial break We're on YouTube or on Facebook. We don't have Twitter, but mainly because I don't know how to work Twitter But we're getting on it. That's a crazy Twitter verse. I love you. I love you Brian. We're gonna get through this

Until next time Wow Until next time. Wow. Wow. Until next time. Wow. It's Chrissy and Brian saying, peace out. Bye. E-mail us at thecommercialbeatatgmail.com. Find us and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at the Commercial Break. New episodes drop every Wednesday. We can be found on Spotify,

iHeart Media, Apple, Google and all major podcast providers. The Commercial Break is a great middleweight production, written and produced by Ryan Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley. you