The Commercial Break - This Episode Sponsored By Space-XXX

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

NASA is asking male astronauts to refrain from "releasing" in space for fear of getting someone pregnant. The minutia of this request has Bryan and Krissy baffled. Speaking of baffled, flat earth believers are growing worldwide....baffled. Hoadley & Bryan review a clip from their fearless leader. Bryan wonders how the show "intro" became so bloated. TCB has some new sponsors! NASA has a rather strange request of male astronauts Flat Earth therories are more popular than ever Bryan & Krissy review a video from the "leader" of the Flat Earth movement Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, I did it! That's it! You two guys leave me no choice. No television for a week. What? We are so serious! You're a fucking hot! How do you have your mind? Gozen Roberts will say it, and it's gonna stay there.

No! On this episode of the commercial break... Help us get him... A cup of the commercial break. Help us get them. The cost of a coffee a day. Yeah, for a cost of one cup of coffee a day. You can feed these two pods. That's it. Make them realize their dreams will never come true.

I don't favor therapy. Stop the suffering. That's their suffering. Our suffering. You know their suffering, our suffering. You know the one with movie scenes where the guy lifts the girl up and is holding her fire but, you know, without any cut. You know, the 50 shades of gray and that dormant guy is, you know. That takes a muscle.

That takes a muscle. That takes some real strength. It really does. I'm telling you not. Wait, for me, when gravity is involved in anything, I'm having a hard time, right? Just can't lift anything. Their potential academically, economically, religiously chaos potentially. But, and so they were going to take that chance. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so is changing, so something's nothing changed. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, Captain Kenton's walking back to another episode of commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and co-host, Kristen Joy, hopefully. S-D- you, Chrissy. Let's see Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast universe, how the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. Don't commercial break, it's not for everyone, but fact news are fiction.

Guaranteed in one minute or less, or your money back, go to the brand new PCBpodcast.com. To collect your winning. I did it. I did it. I did it. With a move, I trudged through. Every time we opened this show, I'm like, do I remember everything? I got to go through this whole list of stuff.

How did our intro get so bloated? How did it get so bloated? What did I do? It was less than it used to be. It was at one point where it was really, really. Was it? What were we saying then? What were we saying that? What was I saying that?

I don't know, we were maybe saying Falson Clubhouse, go to Instagram, go to TV. Oh yeah, well that's when we put the liners in the show and that would sometimes last 15 to 20 minutes. We would just drag on about it. And it was, I was realizing that half the show was us talking about where to find the show when they were listening to the show.

I think it was like so stupid. It was so fucking stupid. So that's when I decided to take the take it and put it into commercial format, right? Yes. I see there's a lot of podcasts out there that do their commercials one way. They'll be in the middle of a conversation and they'll go that brings up a good point. I love using megaphone 3000. You know, it's like get out megaphone 3000 is one of my favorite things It's they don't really specify when the advertisements are it's clear that they're making they're doing an advertisement to their

To their credit, I guess but what I have made a conscious decision to do is put it all in commercial format So that's what they do at audible.com. And that's why we hear that the commercial makes all these use audible. Yes. That's why our favorite platform for commercials is audible.com. Hey, Chrissy, did you know you could get audible.com for half off right now?

If you use the code TCB, it's just a strange coincidence. Yeah, that's just a strange coincidence. Yeah, that's why I made a conscious decision to do that because when I'm talking on this microphone for so long about where to find the show, and this microphone by the way does a great job. I mean, these microphones are... Clear and crystal and it's got low bottoms and high highs. And I'd like to thank Shitty Mike 3000 first. and high highs and I'd like to thank shitty mic 3000 first. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

And you know, it just takes so much preparation to get the show set up, like these ring lights, ring lights. Now available on Amazon.com for. I got to turn on the Roku TV behind me, Roku. Probably your favorite shows. Make sure you the Roku TV behind me, Roku. All your favorite shows. Ha ha ha.

Make sure you use Roku's backspass to the commercial break. Randomly. Yes. But I put them into commercial formats so that I, you know, because I don't want to dumb down the listeners. I know that they know, and you know, it's an endorsement nonetheless, but that's what it is. But I thought a good way to start that pack of commercial breaks was to actually do a

commercial for the commercial break absurd comedy podcast from Brian and Chrissy two friends get together every week not for everyone but go to the commercial right here podcast not come on for more information right here what right here speaking of right here I'm wearing a t-shirt from Haynes Now we're doing commercial for people who don't even pay us In the hopes that we'll get free shit We were talking about remember like the potato to the snack companies were sending us a bunch of stuff at one point Yes, so I asked her with like, moon cheese

Yeah, moon cheese and C-ets C-ets chips Those tamales were crap I have to say Well, I guess we're not getting that fourth quarter five cheese and Ciesta chips. Those tamales were crap. I have to say. Well, I guess we're not getting that fourth quarter five. The tamale.

I think one of the general rules about advertising is you don't talk about how crappy their shit is. But yes, the tamales gave me their runs. Most everything else that was been very nice. I have to say that At least 70% of the shit we talking about it. No, I usually am all about the sponsors Because they support the show and you know nine times out of 10 at least in the last five or six months support We need desperate support. That's why I'd like to I'd like to thank Gary's Wireshoff for giving us these wires. Hey, they may not work all the time, but it's

okay. No one's listening. Gary's Wireshoff when your podcast is not doing great. Yeah, thank you. Videoker Plus. Videoker streaming service. The commercial break presents, proudly presents, MediaOker Plus, the brand new streaming service from the commercial break. Catch all 215 episodes in the MediaOker glory. With shitty sound quality. Bad video, I didn video. Not now.

Not now. We hired someone professional who is Morgan. If you'd like 15% off your video editing, go to Morgan.com. Morgan.com. Morgan.com. This is fun. We could do this all day long.

I can wait. I can do a whole episode of commercials on the commercial break Which I actually thought about doing one time, but then I decided For listeners have to suffer a month. No, and then when our sponsors get pissed and we were just doing commercials for the whole episode Maybe maybe not. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if anybody who buys this podcast is making a mistake, they're like, what? I got on the commercial break, how did that happen? It's like Disney.

There's a place where you could go and you can look at all the commercials that have run. There's like a repository. And it's an encyclopedia, a Wikipedia, if you will, for all the commercials that have ever run on like the top 2,000 shows,'ve ever run on the top 2,000 shows, by some miracle, we're in the top 2,000. And so they catalog all of our ads.

It is really surprising who's been advertising on our show. Because there's two types of ads. There's the type of ad that I talk about, right? Brian Green. If you like Brian Green to place your bar of misfore, party next summer, call BrianGreen.com. BrianGreen. I was red. If you like Brian Green to place your bar mitzvah party next summer, call Briangreen.com. Brian Green.com. Can you imagine I should have had someone smart mitzvah.

Son, I got you Brian Green. So there's this catalog of ads. I told them Victor and you coming with like your own castor. In my hand. Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna do an episode of the Conversion Break. Life and moments for- Damn, I'll never go to school again!

You hired that old Bob Geinck! I'm doing unfunny material. Now you said you're gonna get Chris Rock! Well, Chris wasn't available. But I got Brian at 15% off at Brian Green.com. We couldn't afford Christie, but we got Brian. So this repository of commercials and some of the people who have advertised on our show is quite amazing because there's two types of ads.

There's one that I talk about and then there's the ones that get dynamically inserted into the program and that's based on a lot of different information, geographic and all this other stuff. And so YouTube, Disney Plus, Amazon, I mean, like the cream of the crop advertisers, big brand companies. Yes. And I wonder who gets fired every time Disney was one Disney was a one and done But that's probably because we have our competing service TCB mediocre plus right mediocre plus By the way is like the three third streaming service. We've launched since we've had the commercial break TCB plus plus or

DCB minus all your favorite content somewhere else. All the funny shows in the world, someone some other platform. DCB, the funny minus the funny. Funny, minus, yeah, the funny minus the funny Yeah, the funny minus it's just like a couple notches down from funny. It's like sad But sad it almost yeah, I mean somewhere between sad and pathetic These two podcasters struggling for almost all their lives to get one listener who will break their hearts and tell them the truth for five dollars you can support these two mediocre podcast. Help us get them.

For a cup of coffee a day. Yeah, for a cup of one cup of coffee a day you can feed these two parts. That's it. Ugh. Make them realize their dreams will never come true. That'll favor therapy. Stop the suffering. Not their suffering, our suffering. Millions of people around the world suffering today. They downloaded the commercial break.

Brian and Chrissy won't stop the carnage until we do something with cost of a cup of coffee a day. We can hire anonymous to take their access feed off the internet. Be part of the cost. Oh, so much fun. Hey, I saw that you can't jizz when you're in space. What? I saw that you can't jizz when you're in space. Did you see this?

NASA has now put out an actual recommendation, like a rule, just when you're in space. Do you see this? NASA has now put out an actual recommendation, like a rule that when you're in the space station or wherever you happen to be flying. No, jizzing allowed. No jizzing allowed because they're afraid that the female astronauts may get in predated. They just fly in space too. I just didn't even think about that.

Yeah. It was just float. Yeah, if you, well, you know, if you, like, if you breathe on something in space It's like it accelerates past the sun or some shit. I don't know gravity works, but you know There is no gravity and then yeah, there's no gravity depending on where you are But if you blow on something then you'll keep on going forever and ever right like that's the stupid car That Elon Musk threw up there and now it's just hurtling towards some alien planet to kill other alien people

But they said that they have a real fear that a female astronaut could get impregnated by flying semen Okay, and I just you know when you masturbate No, but I mean how would it just randomly happen that the woman would get pregnant? Go into the bathroom. No. I mean, I'm being serious, like go into the bathroom, but like I don't know the logistics of how that would happen. And that's why it's a fascinating story to me.

It's like, do they really think that the semen's just gonna go floating up a chucha? Yeah, it doesn't have to be in like 24 hours or something, like those little spurmies, don't they die pretty quickly? Yeah. So you would have to jizz. And then there would have to be some series of events that would lead to that semen making its way into a vagina and up into whatever however you get pregnant because I guess I went to that school. Yeah, I'm a sec. I have two children. But you know, it's very interesting. It's very

amazing, but it makes you think about like when you're in the space station for three, four months, one guy was up there for a year. Yeah. When you're there for all that period of time, do you get to, I mean, they must account for this. This must have been accounted for somewhere in the math. Got to be. Like, I mean, NASA's pretty, the pretty smart bunch of people. Yes.

And someone would have said, what about the Jizz? What are we gonna do about the Jizz? Right, yeah. What are we gonna do about the Jizz? And they said, not allowed. Not allowed or do it into the vacuum tube or something. Oh, okay. I don't know, but they're happy.

Nothing sexy or the vacuum tube. Nothing sexy or the vacuum tube. Nothing sexy or the vacuum tube. When you jizz, do you float backwards? If you have sex in space, does the grogo fly across the room? I don't know. Or you can use the direct straight down there. There needs to be some kind of experimentation, I would say.

I agree. Going on on this. I think this is a cover on behalf of NASA's moon landing and the jizz spewing. I think there's gotta be something. There's gotta be a notebook somewhere, a rule in some handbook somewhere. The pilots have a checklist. There's a checklist somewhere.

Please don't ejaculate on the spacecraft. Or if you're going to. He's monitoring that too. And there's cameras everywhere. I mean, you're not gonna get away from it, right? But I guess you just, maybe there's a private room. Look at me. He.

He. He. He's like that. He feels so much better when you're weightless. Yeah. Yeah. He used to have a problem. Yeah, there's got to be some kind of secret experimentation.

There's got to be some kind of secret documentation that the public just has not found out about. Because they put out a public statement like this. I don't even think that's like us to intercourse in space. Oh yeah, that's probably a big no-no. some kind of secret documentation that the public just has not found out about because they put out a public statement like this like as to intercourse in space. Oh, yeah, that's probably a big no-no. It probably really difficult to do. Probably they've done it. They've tried it.

Had to have somebody's tried it. They've had all the space shuttle missions and all of the time up there with the, you know, the Yush Finnskis or whatever, the Rushies, the Ruskis. You know that there's somebody. Yeah, there's some astronaut that was just hot to trot with some other you know there's that remember that was that that astronaut who literally wore diapers for three days while she drove to drove to kill her yes yeah I mean that lady was that she really was in love with that guy yeah right so if that's happening down here on earth imagine what's happening in. You know, did you ever watch the movie about that lady? No.

The movie that had not Katie Holmes, but I can't remember the name of the actress. Who's the actress that was in Black Swan? There was two actresses. Oh, Natalie Portman? Natalie Portman and then the other one. The girl who was on that 70s show. Oh, oh, Meal Akunas.

Meal Akunas. Meal Akunas. Yes. No, Natalie Portman was the girl who played. Not Natalie Portman. It was Natalie Portman and mea, Kunas. Mea, mea, Kunas. I think, no, not only Portman was a girl who played, not only Portman, it was not like Portman and mea, mea, mea, mea. I know, but not only Portman played the, that astronaut in a movie that I watched that was absolutely fascinating. Well done. Yeah. And it kind of told the story of how when you leave Earth's atmosphere and you get up into space for

a couple of days, your whole world changes. I'm sure. And it's very difficult to relate to people who have never been outside of space when you have that kind of perspective. Like a private club. It's like a very private club and your whole, your mind fucked. And your mind fucked in a way that you may look for, you need comfort. You can't just walk into a therapist and say, hey, you know, remember that time we're all in space together?

Remember the time we're doing the semen experiments up in space, you can't do that. And so this girl may have been, this lady may have been driven in part by the fact that she was looking for comfort about space. She was looking for somebody to relate to. Strap on some diapers. Strap on some diapers and just take a haul down the Tampa floor to open road. And you won't be the only one in Florida where a diver's on the road. Say that much right now.

Uh. Uh. And, uh, yes, she went, she went bananas. I mean, she went bananas over that one astronaut because she had spent some time, they had spent some time in space, and I think together they had spent some time. See, that's it.

Yeah. And everybody knew about it and it's a big fucking cover up. Right? There's a thing. There is boning going on in space and we just don't know about it. And I need the, I want the stats on this. I want to understand how space affects our love life. Yeah, give it up, NASA.

Because yeah, if I'm going to be ejected out of this green planet because we're all destroying it, that's a drive. My kids are going to be ejected into space to live out the rest of their lives. I want to know, are they going to be able to, who's accounting for the love making? And how are we getting it down? They're putting special straps on,

and I don't mean strap ons, I mean straps ons so that you can have leverage. Right, because I imagine that's pretty hard too. That makes sense. You two start floating away from each other and, you know. Yeah, you gotta hold on. Yeah, what position would you get it? Oh yeah, like hold on tight, and that's just uncomfortable.

I've done that a couple times Just because I couldn't believe I was actually having to say it would be much easier though That for the man to lift the woman, you know, that's true some of those positions you always dream about Yeah, but never get to exactly. Yeah, like the you know, double reverse cowboy or whatever it is You know, wait, you know the one the movie scenes where they guy lifts the girl up and holding her by her butt You know what, you know the one of the movie scenes where the guy lifts the girl up and is holding her by her butt, you know, without any cut. You know, the 50 shades of gray and that dormant guy is, you know. That takes a muscle. That takes a muscle. That takes some real strength. It really does. I'm telling you not to wait for me. When gravity is involved in anything, I'm having a hard time, right?

Just can't lift anything. I need a bed involved somewhere, right? I can't even do it in the shower. I don't forget about it. I can't even do it in the ocean and I don't forget about it. I've got to do it in the ocean and I float away. It's a whole thing. So if you're in space, you become a real rock star in the bed. Man, woman, and whatever, whatever you're. Whatever, possess. Boss, man, yeah.

Just float around. That's fantastic. Yeah, I love it. Sounds fun. I love it. And I admire the people who go to space. Space sex. Space sex.

Space sex. Yeah. Call us Elon, we're really doing some experience, not us together, but we'll help you form, I actually have no desire to go into space, but we'll help you formulate the old former committee, former committee, we've got a lot of treaties in place, like the walkway treaty of 2020 and I don't know, we have some other treaties in place. Still no one paid attention to that. Damn, walkway committee. It's a walkway treaty.

No one. Not a fucking person, you did. So it's two of us. But the only reason why I would ever want to go in space, ever going in space, is so I could see the, because I can have that moment of surreal, seeing the earth and all of its glory. They would be really beautiful. Like the ultimate view. But I just really, I'm not interested in the travel

and the risk and the danger. It seems like a lot. It seems like such a lonely empty place to me. And I don't want to be reminded of just how lonely and empty my life is because, I mean, look at it. I'm the host of the commercial break. It's already pretty down in the dumps. I'm already pretty low on the wrong, okay, guys.

But there are a lot of people that have been to space and most of them claim, claim report, back to us here on earth with pictures and videos and all this other stuff that the earth is in fact round. Is it is yet there are still some nukes out there. And if you're one of them, then here's your chance. I'm giving you, we're all going to talk about it together here on the Comercius. We formed a committee. We formed a committee.

It's a round earth committee, a round earth club over here. And I get it. I get wanted to be a contrarian and ask the tough questions and say the hard things. I understand that. Challenge. Yeah, I understand that. Can challenge convention, right? But what you don't do is you don't start a convention to challenge convention on something

that no one has ever debated, ever in the history of ever, since fucking Copernicus. This has been settled matter for years and years and you guys can't figure it out. It's another commercial break inside of the commercial break. Chrissy and I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for listening to this silly little podcast. So many kind notes, text messages, and voice mails,

and you're always asking, what can we do to help support the show? How can we get involved? Visit tcbpodcast.com. Not only can you find all of the audio and all of the video there, you can press the contact us button and drop us an email. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas are all welcome or you can hit us up on the TCB hotline. [phone].

I don't need to tell you but I will. That's 661, the word best, the number 2, Y-O-O. We love our new YouTube videos. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Test the number 2 Y-O-O. We love our new YouTube videos. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Our executive producer Morgan adds a layer of hilarity that I know you're going to enjoy. So go visit the YouTube channel, the one and only, very lonely, at the commercial break on Instagram.

Don't forget to patron our sponsors whenever you're in the market for their products or services and make sure you tell them the commercial breaks sent you by using the specialized URLs and or codes that we give during the commercial breaks. We know you're enjoying BTW Fridays and we want to hear from you. There's just a couple more left. So please drop us a line and tell us which segment from an older episode you'd like to hear on Best To Yo Fridays. Now we gotta pay some bills so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stick around

and take a listen, and then we'll be back to this episode of the Commercial Break. Goodotse. So, Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet. Oh, what do you do? As I like to do, ladies and gentlemen. New and old listeners of the commercial break, you know how I roll.

I'm on the internet way too much. Hopefully I'll have one more year of marriage while I let you know. Anything comes of it. But I troll on the internet and that's how we find the stupid and observed topics that we present here on the commercial break. And one of those topics that we touched on first five episodes and we have never touched on again is Flat Earth Society. I know the old Flat Earth. The old Flat Earth.

Earth Earth. One of the other things we like to do is watch our favorite morning show, which we affectionately refer to as those British people. And those British people are on ITV. So my two, two of my favorite subjects in the world came together. ITV morning show and Flat Earthers came together.

It was like an asteroid. It was like an, yeah, literally an asteroid. You know what I'm saying? Call me Elon. We'll put a new definition to that asteroid. If you know what I mean. Ask this asteroid. Yay!

So, Chrissy, I present to you without further ado, one of our favorite, one of our early foils on the commercial break I love these two the flat earth guy and one of our favorite people to have those discussions They're really funny. I TV the morning show they take it as such serious. They take it to the next level He's holding a globe I've spent out in time. He's holding a globe. A globe. A globe, like a float.

You're putting the ball in a globe. Sir, I'm going to show you exactly what a globe looks like. Is this enough proof for you, sir? Everyone believes it. It's so compelling. Life's thinking that the Earth looks like this, but you can forget. I love that lady. She's like, hmm, interesting.

You don't say about that because the earth in fact, well done, that's cool. Looks like this. This is what it is. It's fun. He's got a like a CD with a picture of the earth. This is the dumbest conspiracy theory ever. It's so dumb. It's so dumb.

JFK, I get that one. JFK Jr., not so much. Flat Earth, it's just way out there. It's way out there that you would ever think for a minute that there is a grand conspiracy to what end? To what end? And it has a, just like Game of Thrones, it is just like Ice Wall. Mark Sargent is one of the leading voices in the flat earth.

Good old Mark Sargent. I don't know if you remember this Chrissy. Two and a half years ago, we did a thing on a Mark Sargent who told us the real reason why he got into flat earth. Now, he is largely regarded as one of the leaders of the flat earth movement here in this country. And Mark plays affable enough, and he pretends to be, I mean, I'm sure he is a nice guy. But if you remember, way back when we played a clip

as to why Mark's really in this, because the guy asked him, do you get a lot of dates being a flat-earther? And he responded more than I could ever want. He responded, that essentially. Who's in it for the- He's in it for the SpaceX. That's why he's in it for the SpaceX.

Yeah. Yes. It's been, and he believes it's time that we all woke up and realized that we actually are living on a flat day. Well Mark joins us now. Good morning Mark. I mean obviously there are thousands of questions which I'm sure you've been asked a thousand times.

A few years. Yeah. So, um, we believe for many years that the earth was flat, and then, so I understand that I don't understand that very much, but I'm getting laid now, so... I gotta keep on this track. I gotta keep on this track. I agree with you. But you know, get a lot of pussy when I'm talking about planet.

Crazy. Yeah. Comes along and discovery comes along. And we think, okay, now we can see that it's actually round. Sure, we've seen that it's round. Sure. So, you said, sure. Yeah, man.

He's such a fucking smug mother fucker. He is. Yeah, sure. Yeah, whatever you say. You've been buying into the NASA grand conspiracy. Yeah, you're wrong. Because the globes, they've been selling globes. You have as much money they make off globes every year.

I mean, honestly, what could be to what end? I don't know. To what end? Exactly. Come, it's not. It's not because we can't prove it's a globe. Everything that we've, in fact, it starts to. You are a fucking morgue.

It's a globe. How can you not prove that it's a globe? Anyone that's done any experiment ever realizes that it's a globe. You guys take two strings and put it across a three-foot creek and say it moves around it would bend. No that's not true. You've dumped them. The earth is so grand in size that you have to go miles and miles and miles and all. We don't don't. We don't know. Completely around. Yes. Yes. Well then the planes would fly straight out of the atmosphere. No they wouldn wouldn't you can shit head you know plane works

It's gravity Unbelievable. Yeah out with everybody that's in the flyer with community starts out looking at the globe saying can you prove it? Can you prove the globe especially without using NASA because it's not Why wouldn't we use NASA? They have all the data? Oh My god They have all the data. Oh my God. That's cool. Yeah, especially just on your own. That's like saying figure out who's winning the baseball game without the scoreboard. Right.

Exactly. Without the players. Yeah. The world was a globe back in 1972. We knew for five centuries. So that's how everyone starts. You try to prove it in a court of law. I I flew in a court of law.

Where are you going, Judge Judy? Come on, more info. What's the case? We did DNA testing on the earth, and the answer is, you are not fat. I mean, there's no case. What is the case? Concorde, and I was lucky enough to fly in Concorde, and you get up to 65,000 feet. I could see the curvature of the earth. That was proof to me. How come that wasn't true? And yet, I could show you whether blue and footage from 120,000 feet, and it's absolutely tabletop flat,

and Neil deGrasse Tyson, the world's most famous scientist, Noah Fenster, Brian Cox, he'll come out and tell you, go, no civilian, we'll ever be able to see the curvature of the earth. So it's you lying. No, I'm not seeing that you're lying. I'm seeing that you wanted to see the curvature. There's a big deal.

That's right. You wanted to see the curvature. Just the old, you'll see what you want to see. Right. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. Curricied.

Proof it. Proof it. A friend. Let me tell you this story here. A friend went to a cocktail party one time. Christmas cocktail party. And he's upstairs and he's talking to a girl from the office. It's like an office party.

Christmas party. He's talking to the girl from the office and he is drunk as a skunk. And he's playing his real douchey card, right? He's trying to, I think he's trying to smooth on her a little bit. Is this you? No.

Okay. It doesn't attack. No, it's not. I'm sorry. Yeah, but's not. That's right. Yeah, but I'd like to thank our sponsor. The Flat Earth Society. Antino's vodka. Tito's vodka.

For all your Christmas holidays. For the best blind dates, get Tito's. For your second date, get so you get the well vodka. It teedos is well vodka isn't it? No. Oh it's not? It's pretty man. Oh I thought teedos was like the shit you put it.

No. Really? Yeah. I haven't drank it a while. I guess I'm out of the bar scene. It took us upstairs and he's up at the top of this bar and he's outside smoking a cigarette with this girl and he starts smoothing on her.

But she doesn't like him and he doesn't like her. They've never really liked each other, right? But so I guess he's just drunk and putting the game on her. And she says, you know what, dude, you're a real fucking asshole. That's what she says. And he retorts the following, prove it. You can't prove it.

And I think that's the best line in the prove it. You can't prove that. I think that's the best line in the prove it. You can't prove that. I think that's the best line in the history of earth. You want to know I- I'm gonna go along with anything. Yeah, because anything that you say, prove it, right? It's like, you can always make a case for something. But you have to take all the information in totality

and use that little flat earth brain of yours and figure it out there, Mark. But don't you want to believe that it's flat? No. I have more proof than you do. I would challenge that. Well, I've got footage here that's direct from the space station and that's live pictures from the space station now.

Right, start it all along. I can't start it from the American military. Yes, absolutely. I'm started from the American military. Here we go. Yeah, but well, I think they have to I think they have to blur it out Because they can't use the actual space like they can't use NASA's cameras on air. I think I have no idea Okay, but clearly you can see that the earth is rampant. Yeah I mean, it's worse than that. So what is that then? What am I looking at if I'm not looking at live pictures?

You're looking at CGI Nothing more something. It started up very simple back in the 1950s and advanced What am I looking at if I'm not looking at live pictures? You're looking at CGI, nothing more. Something gets started up very simple back in the 1950s and advanced culture. Hollywood. I am on Hollywood. Oh, that's fucking Hollywood, though. They're all responsible for everything.

Bill Gates, Zach Elephanacus. They're all in on it. A bit of a space not. Sure. And so, no, no, no, I'm very happy with that. And I've got the app on my phone, which is the way the space is. Very happy with that, but the space, not. Sure. And so no, no, no, I mean, I'm, I'm very happy with that. And I've got the app on my phone with the space. Very happy with the fact that I actually believe in fast at Mark. Mark's sweating. He is. Yeah, this is uncomfortable position for him to be. It is a hot topic for our British dude. Yeah. He's all over. Yeah. See, the thing is

that Mark's comfortable in his little gang of 15 people that also believe his bullshit, right? But he's not comfortable confronting real people. Now, I don't think Neil deGrasse Tyson actually said that the earth is flat. I would argue that. Maybe he said that no civilian from Earth will ever see that the earth is curved.

But if you go up in a plane on a long distance flight, like from here to over the Atlantic, you will see. I can't see the curvature of the Earth right now. And I have in the past looked at those live pictures and I have seen where the space station is and thought, right, it's coming over me now. And so I have watched the space station.

You can see it as that light doesn't blink, doesn't flash, goes over the solid light. And at the same time, I've looked at my laptop and I've seen where I am. Yeah, oh, I'm not saying there's not, there's, there's something up there. No question. Is there a vehicle that could be the ISS up there?

Yeah, are there people inside it? No, not a chance. And you can look at the interior footage and the production value is horrible. I challenge anybody. We've got, ha ha ha ha. This is fucking insane.

I know. This is insane. What is the thing? Why do you wanna disbelieve this? What is the purpose of trying to rewrite hundreds and thousands of years of history? Poudenda. Poudenda.

That's what I do. This episode brought to you by Poudenda. Poudenda, the soft, warm and sometimes wet, family friend. It's like a chia pet, only with feelings. Pudenda, now on sale at Pudenda.com, tell him the course of break sent you. I interviewed both of us. We've interviewed Tim Peek from this sofa. I know. And I...

What was I doing? Who was I talking to? Where was he? You were talking to a military officer. Nothing more. I talked to Terry Verts, you know, American astronaut, and look, they're all, you know what I remember? Everybody that goes up there are high-ranking military. They start out at Colonel Engel. Oh, why would he bother? Why would you bother fake-

Yeah, why? What's the point of fake hair? Well, the big, that's what... I'm getting laid. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't something that was happening a lot before Flat Earth Society, so if you don't mind, I just like to keep this rolling for a few more minutes. It's a really bad decision to be coming on this show.

I'm gonna go back to my Flat Earth conference where everyone believes me, and I can lay it a whole lot. Bigger questions, which is why keep this thing a secret. And we're talking about, but why fake it? Because if you don't fake it eventually, the private industry's gonna get involved, and then they're going to find out on their own.

Showing this flat earth, that's like a plate. Everyone's seen this by now. It's like a, like a, like a, it's like a kindergarten project. It's like a record. a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like Who's looking for the edge of the earth? And for what reason? Oh my God. This is what- And why that would be bad because- If you don't keep this thing as secret, remember,

we're talking about something that was discovered back in 1960. The public wasn't ready in 1960. They just weren't. They're potential academically, economically, religiously chaos potentially. But, and so they weren't gonna take that chance. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Brian Green speaking. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the president of the United States, Brian Green. In this year, 1969, and the year of our Lord, 19,069, I've got some information I must now present to you. Please try and stay calm. The earth is flat, surrounded by an ice ring.

Kind of like if you put a record upside down and then you were surrounded with ice, that's what it is. Now, don't go crazy, but we're going to turn it on its side and everyone's going to fall off. But we don't want private industry involved. No, no. No.

No. People jumping out of windows. No. On Tuesday, we're going to turn it upside down and shake it loose. We've got to dust it off a little bit. So stupid. This guy is so dumb. And he is sweating, shitting bricks.

He knows that he's full of shit. And he's hoping. He's hoping amongst hope he finds a friend in this couch, but he's not going to find one. So pilots are involved in this? No, no, not at all. No, no, no. Pilot scientists, none of those people,

I have astrophysicist Brian Cox, none of them have anything to do with it. Okay, so when you keep mentioning Brian Cox, is that like your buddy? Does it like somebody you want to be friends with? All of those people, every NASA science, everyone who's ever been involved in any stage, in any space program, whether it's in industry that launches satellites, the various people that launch those satellites, everyone

that's ever worked on the space shuttle or the Apollo program a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem.

I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem.

I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. I mean, it's not a problem. but most of the officers below them were the Apollo those massive Apollo were those Apollo rockets that went up into the air They're really asking me that's up questions now Can you turn these lights out? Can we take a break?

I've got to figure out some answers. They didn't go anywhere. They just went off into the ocean and ditched. I mean, again, I'm an American. Look, we're taught, you know, raw, raw, go team, right, wave the flag. And so it's tough for me. Go, James! Ladies and gentlemen, this is your president speaking one more time. I think everyone to put their flags down, put their pom-poms down for a second. We've actually been lying to you at this entire time Mark here has brought it to our Not the earth is actually a plate

And that there's ketchup on the left hand corner of it. It's sliding to North America We're all gonna die in a horrible ketchup related exit I'm just lighting door North America. We're all gonna die in a horrible kitchen-related accident. Oh, I gotta go into the underground bunker now, but you guys, take care. Ah! Because I love the American space program. So you flew in a straight line to get here?

I did fly in a straight line to get here. Yes. And you've got this, so we've got a dome over the top. Yeah, yeah, so let me do this real quick. So the globe that you threw away. Yeah, let me do this, this usually got, so we've got a dome over the top. Yeah, yeah, so let me do this real quick. So the globe that you threw away, let me do this, usually works. Let me take this bullshit. Look at this snow globe, friends.

Oh, yeah, it's snow globe. Snow globe. So you're saying that when they make those snow gloves, as there's people in the nose, they make those snow gloves that tie on. Everyone's in on it. Talking about is we are all brought up, taught that we live on this tiny little rock

that's covered in a little bit of water and smoke. We're flying through this impossible vacuum of space. We're saying that we live on a flat enclosed world that is basically you're basically living in a big sound stage with walls and a floor and a ceiling. The Truman show. The Truman show. Yeah, very very very similar. Oh wow. I didn't know they took it this far. I didn't know they took it this far. They believe we're living on a sound stage?

Yeah. On a sound stage. Hollywood. Who built it? Hollywood. Hollywood. And the military. Fuck, man.

Generals. Fuck. So fucking Kardashians, I bet you. That's card ashes, that everything. Card ashes. They are living in their world. If there's a soundstage, the card ashes own it. You know they do.

That is so big that even our best and brightest didn't figure it out until about 1960. And when they did the site to keep it a secret, the really, really short version is you don't live on a globe. This is what it looks like on the outside. That's what it looks like on the inside. There you go. So my damn good face.

Well, that's it. The bait settled. My drop. Ladies and gentlemen, your president is here from the Oval Office. I've just had a conference here with Mark. Mark is an esteemed pseudoscientist. He used to work in the pharmacall industry.

The pharmacall. He just laid out his case for the earth being flat and us. I've had all my top men him here That's meeting with me. Yeah work convinced. Yeah, he laid it out. He said here's this flat like this And clearly The burden of proof was on him. I mean I'm gonna say line. I'm gonna say get him. You've learned a straight line to get here He's sweating profusely, but we still believe him. This is crazy, crazy, crazy. This is, yeah.

We just fall off the edge. For the same reason, the space asterisk question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why don't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The old space asterisk question. I've had to answer this a lot. Here's the nurse.

There's more about you for you. Same reason why you don't fall off the edge here. Antarctica is the only continent that doesn't look like anything else. All the other continents in here look perfectly fine. Antarctica though, and it's not necessarily an ice wall, it's just Antarctica. This really, really, really high continent. So you think Antarctica is the way around? So where's the North Pole?

North Pole is in the center. North Pole is in the center. South Pole doesn't exist. Compasses don't work down in Antarctica. Most people don't talk about that. The Antarctic Treaty says that no corporations... Antarctic Treaty, yeah, he's following that one out. I wonder if Mark knows exactly why the compasses don't work in Antarctic.

And that is because of the polarity of the Earth and has nothing to do with the actual continent. It has to do with the poles continent. It has to do with the polls and the polls are constantly moving. But Mark here is too brilliant to figure out that Mark here is too brilliant to pay attention to that. She and in the history of the world can set up shop down there forever.

What's outside? Oh, that's a tough one, isn't it? Well, because it could be a clue. Well, I mean, if you can't get outside, you're not gonna know for sure, but I mean, I don't think, my personal opinion my personal opinion is this isn't a one-off. There's not, we're just one of these, there's more. So you've got, we've got a picture of what you think it,

what it's... Oh, yeah, yeah, that was made by one of our people. What is it? These pictures are blurry. I don't know. I understand. Copyrighted, the flat earth. Great option.

I love it. Have they been mad? No, of course not. Okay. So only in the wall then, there's a hole. No, no, no, no. There's a hole in the wall. Yeah. So no, no, no, there's a hole in the wall. Yeah.

So can you go through that and go to the other places? Again, it flat earth opens the minds of people. The most of the flat earthers will stick in the center. Flat earth opens the minds of people. Two. I mean, I wasn't really a woke. A woken until the mark laid it out. You basically made his case by throwing that flat

disc on the table and saying that's it. There you go. Boom. That's how it happened. Okay, lots more to get to. We'll follow up on that. But I think you get the gist of it. Mark's a dumb dumb. Mark some moron. Did you get that? You pick up on that? It does what you took away from the video then you're great. If what you took away from the video is the earth might be flat. The commercial break may not be the podcast for you. Not for everyone. Speaking of not for you, the commercial break brought to you by the commercial break. Where's the sponsor's of ourself? Where's sponsoring ourselves. Which is a, I was in a clubhouse room one time and someone

actually made that suggestion. They were like, you got all that free inventory, you need to be promoting yourself, make your own commercials. And I was like, so someone came to your podcast to find out about your podcast, the listen to your podcast. It's so meta, it's awesome, I love it. But hey, listen to each their own. To your own as we like to say. If you're not hurting anybody, whatever. If you're a flat-author and you're not hurting anybody, whatever. If you're a flat-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-earth-ear and sending yourself into space sex vehicle. Hey, maybe we can be the first like

brothel and podcast in space. The brothel, the brothel space? That's right, brothel space. Yeah. Yeah. The word of my space. Yeah, but brothel space. Wherever it goes into space and it's sex for money.

I love it. I'm all about it. Sex work is work! Not bad. And if you'd like to contact us, all you have to do is go to the brand new tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button. Let us know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas. We would love to hear them.

As a matter of fact, we love it when people send us content ideas. If you have a story to tell, write it down. Better make it good because we've got a lot of people sending stories, and they're all very good. But do that at tcbpodcast.com. We're still waiting on a follow-up from Peter. So wait, yeah, we'll let you know if Pete writes back in. He might be scared. He might go underground. He might have fallen off the flat. 661237829. I'm scared of what I'm doing now! 6, 6, 1, best, the number 2!

Why, oh yo! Add the commercial break on Instagram, the brand new channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Go there, the videos are funny, Morgan's doing a great job, you're gonna love the way that the full episodes are edited, it adds so much color. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do today. That's right, I love you! I love you!

Best to you! Best to you! I'm you. I love you. Best to you. I'm out there. Best to you on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy, and I always say we do say we must say. Bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star

I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star you