The Commercial Break - This Is The Captain Speaking!

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Why do pilots always want to talk to us at 36,000 feet? And why can't they figure out how to work the intercom? Find out on this episode! First, Bryan is practicing for his announcer job with SNL (or a bovine auction). Omegle is a not so new online thing where Bryan doesn't belong. But it won't stop him from trying! Flight attendants have become an extremely important factor in air safety and conflict management. Finally, the gang digs deep into the archive to find training videos, produced in the 80's by Pan-Am, on how to handle drama when it arises in the air. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you fly this plane and land it? Surely you can't be serious. I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. On this episode of the commercial break... And then the next person would come up, F22. And then the next person would come up, F22, this happened like five times in a row. And I was like, F22, why the fuck are the everyone talking about, Nairplane? And then I next person will come up, F-22, this happened like five times in a row. And I was like, F-22, why the fuck are the, everyone talking about an airplane? And then I figured it out.

It meant female 22, right? But of course, it's not female or 22. Sure. It's male 67. You know, it was living in a dad's basement. Mocking zone and we don't allow to spend the cigarette smoking here. I'm here to ask you to put it out.

I'm sorry. There's really nothing I can do. We have regulations that we have to enforce. Oh, it's not bothering me. I don't, I don't care. It's not bothering me, I don't care shit. I just finished my own. I just finished an entire ass tray.

That's the smoky voice I've ever heard. Yeah. So, I don't really bother hearing that it's gonna be enough for you. I don't fuck to you. Yeah I give a shit You you do your job. I'll do mine I always want to talk to you at 36,000. Why do they want to talk to us at 36,000? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this Valkomercial Break, it's not for everyone

But fact news or fiction is guaranteed in three minutes or less Or your money back, go to the brand new tcbpodcast.com Send us a line, let us know that you're looking for your money back Because you are dissatisfied with the quality or content of this program And we will kindly tell you to shove it where it don't shine

Hey! One breath! One man! One mission! Shorten our fucking intro to the subject of show! I'm telling you, you're preparing for a career as an auctioneer. Oh my god, an auctioneer, maybe I'll be, I don't know. I was thinking more like Saturday night live guy. Or you know. Yeah, either a price is right dude. Yeah, probably auctioneer. I was thinking more like Saturday night live guy Price is right dude. Yeah, probably auctioneer. I'll probably be auctioning off like Bovine the cattle. Yeah, sheep I'm just looking at the old Instagram the Instagram change. Did you notice that did you you notice Instagram change? I went from like that scrollable, now you got it's like one post,

takes up a whole page and it's all video now. Yes, yeah, I knew they were moving to video. So I don't know why, but way back in the SIM-COLLE FM days, I set up an Instagram account, like right when it came online. Yes. Someone else set it up for me actually.

I won't, I'll remain, it'll remain lame this. But all this guy did on our Instagram account, apparently all day long, was look at pictures of women in tiny bikinis. Mm-hmm. What? What's one way to use it? So now I've got these four accounts that are attached

to my email address, one of which being the commercial break. And anytime I go to scroll on Instagram, no matter how many other people I follow, I'm still getting all these bikinis. OK. Now, I'm as guilty as the next guy. If I see a bikini, I'm like, oh, that's it. We don't want to say. You, no. I'm as guilty as the next guy. I'm like, if I see a bik, I'm like, oh, that's it. We don't want to say it.

You get it. I don't need to pontificate on that. Okay. But my, now the Instagram is unusable. It's unfuckin' usable now. I can't scroll through posts. It's all video. I have to, I don't like it.

Yeah. I don't like it. I just read an article, the death of Instagram. I think the Kardashians are mad too. Yeah, because they change the whole way that people use it. And now all it is, it seems like is suggested videos and sponsored videos. It's like for every one video you watch of someone you might actually know and be interested in, there's four other additional videos suggesting somebody else,

usually girls and bikinis, and then also some kind of product or service that I clearly don't need a lot. I guess they're trying to be like TikTok. Yeah, of course, they wanna, yeah, but the problem is that now they're my space. They went from TikTok to my space. And I think they're gonna go to the way the dodo bird, let's just like Facebook is gone,

just like my space, now Instagram's gone. So now I gotta get on the talk. Yeah, I gotta do the talk. You know what I've been doing lately? I've been trying to get into, because I wanna do get on the talk. I gotta do the talk. You know what I've been doing lately? I've been trying to get into, because I wanna do it on the show, is Omega, or Omega Lee? Omega Lee?

Do you know what this is? Is that the virtual world, the meta? No, no, not the meta. I tried that, they told me to go home. Because I had desktop written across my forehead. They said don't talk to me. They said don't talk to me. Old white man with your desktop browser.

Omega, I think that's how it's said, is a, it's like chatterbait, but less penises. You know what I'm talking about? They try and cut out on the nudity. So you get connected with someone either in the world or your country, usually based on which language you're speaking. And then you can either text or you can video. And then you just randomly get connected with another human being. That's so weird.

And so like most of it now is really sexually based, right? I get a matter of it. It'll be like female 31, so it'll be F31. It took me hours to figure this out, Chrissy. Cause I kept on getting people that were like M22, F31. And people kept on saying like the most common one I get would be F22. And I'd be like F22, that's an airplane.

That was my first response. That's an airplane, right? And they would just disconnect. And then the next person would come up, F-22. And then the next person would come up, F-22, this happened like five times in a row. And I was like, F-22, why the fuck are the, if we're one talking about an airplane?

And then I figured it out. It meant female-22. Right, but of course it's not female or 22. Sure. It's male 67 you know it was living in his dad's basement right but then you can do the video version where you get hooked up with somebody Okay, and it's usually some version of a younger person I don't I don't mean like young like illegal young I under 18. I mean like 20s or early 30s and

They're just screwing around with their friends. Yeah. So I'd like to do a version on this show where we just go on a megal, but we should do it. Flip it up, right? And you see what we get, kind of see what we get. You're on the commercial break. They are on the commercial, hey, why did they do the commercial break?

I don't even know that's legal, but we'll do it anyway, because who fucking listens to this show? No one cares. Number two, worst podcast in comedy. Number two, worst podcast in Canada. Number two worst podcast in Canada. Today, again, the Canadian people, we get the most follows and we get the most unfollows

in Canada. I actually thought you liked to do that. I'd like to let you know that. They're trying it. They're trying it. They're saying, no. Oh, fuck this guys. Yeah.

So we've really kind of stayed the same, but I think all the new follows put us up at the top. I don't know how the fucking algorithm works, but here's why I bring this all about. I was on this Omega, and then someone, and this is a couple of weeks ago, but the topic we're talking about today, maybe think of this, someone pasted a link

into the Omega that was broken, but I could see what it said, man jumps out of airplane, because I said, it's an airplane, and then they posted a link that was broken, but I could see what it said. Man jumps out of airplane, because I said, it's an airplane, and then they posted a link that was broken, because I don't know if you could put links in an omegle. But you could tell, you could read it, read the link, and see what it says.

Man jumps out of airplane, mid-flight. Oh. And so I went and Googled this, and apparently this happened. Somebody got so upset, like not only upset like angry, they got upset on the plane plane and they opened the fucking door to the plane. They played that thing. God.

That is fucking insane. Like first of all. Who was guarding that? Because whenever I sit in that seat, they make you... No, not the emergency door. The actual door to the airplane. I didn't even know this was pot.

It didn't say what kind of airplane it was. It could have been a small plane. Yeah, it could have been one like... Side to be. ...that kind of little plane. And it was in kind of airplane it was. It could have been a small plane. It could have been one like, sad to be. It had to be. And it was in a South American country. So it could have been a puddle jumper. And those puddle jumpers, some of them were very old.

And you just literally twist the handle and see, you know, you're out the door. But man, it's gotten really rough to ride an airplane these days. Yes. Very much so. It was just really narcole about it. I mean, they cut staffing, you know, with 2020,

and they just haven't been able to staff back up and stuff is getting all sort of. Who wants to go work for enough fucking airplane? If you're a stewardess, you gotta be a mask watcher, you gotta be a terrorist watcher, you gotta be ready to zip tie somebody to their fucking seat. You gotta deal with everybody's bullshit. It's a horrible fucking job.

It's like being a waiter or a ratress where there is no back door to leave in case something happens. it's a horrible fucking job. It's like being a waiter or a ratress, where there is no back door to leave, in case something happens. There's no way you can leave. And you're in charge of all of these other passengers. And there are a lot of fucking morons in this country. I know, that's why I'm always extremely nice

to the flight. Oh yeah, me too. Oh yeah, yeah. Now I'm nice to the attendance, and I don't care what kind of situation is going on around me, I just deal with it. Like, you know, I got the guys a little bit bigger, who's got this, you know, the attendance, and I don't care what kind of situation is going on around me. I just deal with it. Like, you know, I got the guys a little bit bigger who's got this, you know, the armchair treaty that we tried to come up.

Yes, though. Yeah, the fucking people put their arm all over you, and it's, you know, they're like, no one can be kind. Everyone's got it. It's all about them. They're entitled to everything around them because I don't know. I don't know. I messed.

Yeah, they're pissed. That's what I don't know. The world's changing. It's one of those things. But everyone's so angry with everyone else. Everyone is so ready to fucking snap in this country. And the planes where no one can leave is the thing everybody wants to snap about. Yeah, that's true. I love following this Instagram account,

passenger shaming. And she shares, she's like a stewardess. And she shares, I love it a stewardess and she shares, I love it. She shares all of these nightmare stories and videos and pictures when she can of the things that are going on up in the unfuckin friendly skies. And I'm telling you what, Chris,

I gotta take a plane in a couple of weeks across the country and I'm really kind of bummed out about it because I don't wanna fly. I almost thought about driving. So I'm driving 14 fuckin' hours to my location where I gotta go because I just don't wanna fly. I don't about driving. Driving 14 fucking hours to my location where I got to go, because I just don't want to fly. I don't want to go to the airport. I don't want to go through. They've got damn, you know, strip, strip search. Then I don't want to get on the plane. That's why

our next purchase needs to be our jet. Airplane. Watching that morning show and gin aniston's on a private plane from the, from the network. Why doesn't our network send us a private plane? It's up to advertise cast. Fuck, man. You'd think after we made you six or $700 this last month that you would, you know. Yeah, we're surely next in line. Surely, don't call me surely.

Also from an airplane movie, that was great. This has been going on for a long time though. It's a, there's nothing new under the friendly skies that people are being assholes on planes. And Pan Am, one of the regal carriers that was around for a very long time, one of the huge airlines, Pan American, was kind of the leader in service

in the airline industry as it became more popular to fly. You know, back in the 60s, it was the thing you did on a very rare occasion, it was expensive, only people who had money did it. Dressed up. Dressed up, yeah, you would go on your Sunday best. Even when I was a kid, you'd go on your Sunday best.

And then in the 70s, it got more accessible, and more airlines came online, and they had this kind of spoken hub model, which made it easier to fly from certain locations to certain locations. And then in the 80s, it just became accessible for everybody, and shit started going downhill, right? It's not about classism, it's just about it, just people lost their sense of dignity, I guess, on the plane. I'm not really sure.

I don't know. And I don't give a shit. I wish we would go back to the way that it was. I'm willing to wear a tie on the plane, if everybody just stays to fucking calm, that's it. That's all I'm asking. I'm willing to wear a tie on the plane. I'm willing to have a dress code as long as everyone can stay calm. I'm not sure a dress code is going to fix that, but whatever. It would give an air. It would give an air of this is something important that we're doing civility. Yes, that's right. Like we should just have civility wherever we go

So but apparently half this country can't figure that fucking out pissed Rev down I'm I'm revving I'm revving down. I've been revving down for months But the more that I rev down the more everyone else revs up. Yeah, but when they go When they go up you go down But not on an airplane. It keeps the door closed on the airplane. People are getting crazy up there.

I don't know what's going on. Someone opened the door on my flight. I don't know. I go fucking bananas. I'd be like, ah! Of course. I've flown a plane. Yeah.

It's not easy thing to do. I mean, it's not a complicated thing to do either. But I mean, I also didn't have 17 million switches and buttons in front of me, the half of which I have no idea what it did. We also did that thing where it was the indoor skydiving. I was fun. That was the fun day. I showed up in the suit.

Yeah. You should have been dicks. You should have been like, you're ready to go. It was the silver racing suit. Jeff had gotten from this race. It was a... It was a silver racing suit. Jeff had gotten from this race. It was a... It was a Le Mans. It was Le Mans.

I thought I would wear that. That was work. You almost got away with it. I know. That was fun. Good thing with the indoor skydive. Of course, they only give you two minutes for $700. You're going to get $700.

You're in there for 20 seconds. Yeah. And they spin you around and then they bring you back down and they're like, did you have fun? Here, buy this package for 35 more hours. For $12,000. I'd take out a mortgage on my house. I still have fucking...

You did, you bought all package. About a whole package, I still... I have not... Once have I been back to that place. Oh, let's go. And that's a ton of fun. So I thought I would take a look back and see if I could find... If I could see that there was some, like some snapshot of how

they were handling these things in the 70s and 80s, these customer service issues, was this, are we just videotaping more of these interactions? And that's why it seems like the airlines are unfriendly now, or was this really going on back in the 70s and 80s also, we just didn't hear about it. Mm-hmm, probably that. Not really. Uh-huh. The incidents have gone up by 1,000 percent, especially over the pandemic, but what I did, what I didn't find, was a lot of videotape of incidents happening in the air, but what I did find was training videos

that told you how to handle those incidents, which indicates to me that they were going on at some point. Well, right, because people were getting trained on them. That's right. How to handle. And so what I'd like to do today, if you don't mind, it's okay with you. Let me think about it. Not even a way. Yes. Okay with me. I would like to take a look at some of Pan Am's training videos. Nice. How they handle conflict in the air, including conflict

with themselves. What do you think? Let's start with that one. I've got four or five of these. Okay. Let's start with, how would pan-am handle conflict between two flight attendants trying to get their jobs done? Okay. Let's go for it. Okay, now what you don't see is YouTube.com slash the commercial break is there's two stewardesses,

young ladies that are in the galley where they prepare the food. I love like a full blown kitchen. It is a full blown kitchen. That's what it is. They don't wheel that shit up there. This lady's actually chopping tomatoes for the salad. There's a wood bowl, wooden salad bowl, and salad in it. That's nice.

That's classic. They have an oven. It's crazy. Look at that. Yeah, you don't find that anymore, do you? No. Heat's crazy. Look at that. Yeah, you don't find that anymore. Do you know? Heaten heat and repeat Sherry Sherry what are you doing? You know if you need something just ask me for it I'll be happy to get it for you

I just don't like people coming in here and rummaging Sherry Sherry you're a bitch. Okay. I just want to say that ever since you slept with pilot 10 We both have to the same pilot and you know it Sherry Geez I'm in each other. Wow. I wish I was on this flight. This is a kind of Terrible interaction I can get used to Walmart underwear Sherry

Just because we're both sleeping with the same pilot doesn't mean we have to dislike each other at work I feel like when you tell somebody they're up tight. That's on automatic, you know, but rev up you know, Rev up. Yeah, that's a rough love situation. That's a pathetic Rev up. It's like getting into your argument with your loved one, and then telling them to calm down. Calm down. Yeah, calm down.

Never in this year, remember, the words calm down, calm down anybody down. I'm torturing me around here, since I've gotten out of this airplane. I haven't been ordering you around. It's just that you come into this gallery, and you rummage through the compartments, and then I can't find anything.

It's hard for me to keep organized. Look, I'm trying to do you a favor. I need to get the cursor a tray of hors d'oeuvres And I have a nerve fine get your tray of hors d'oeuvres. I don't give a shit You know what Sherry just just get what you need to get out of here I don't care. What are these two ladies yelling about what is going on here tray of hors d'oeuvres? Something about rummaging around but I want to know why Ally here. Let's call her because I don't know her name. Why Ali's treating Sherry so shittily?

Sherry just, Sherry just wanted to come in and grab some hors d'oeuvres for the person. What the fuck is a person? What is a person? I don't know. I think it's the head flight attendant. Oh, okay, okay. Linda, this is not just your galley. This galley belongs to all of us.

I can say it's just my galley, but it is my position. It's my responsibility to keep this service organized. Linda, I've been flying for 14 years, and I do not need you so much. Oh, the passengers are starting to notice there's a ruckus in the back in the galley. It looks as spacious.

It looks as spacious. It is as spacious. Back then, they actually gave you a chair. It's give you a chair instead of like, you know, two inches of hardwood to sit on. It's been flying for 14 years. You have, like, you've been flying for two weeks. Shouldn't you be out there doing wines

or breads or something in the cabin? Why don't you be out there in our dirt? Shouldn't you be out there demonstrating how to use your seat as a flotation device, a cherry? Guarines in our derbs. And bread. And bread. Wine, bread, our derbs. She's tossing up the Souser there I'm gonna pay five dollars for one of those shitty

Headstets that don't ever fit fit of the two plugs Because airlines are stuck back in 1920. They have brand new planes they buy all these brand new planes And they still got the dual plug, you know air pieces pieces. It's like, why do you do that? I don't understand. Let me think that you do a good job in this galley, but if you were a little bit more organized, maybe we would see your face out in that cabin. I beg your pardon, I can run rings around you

or anybody else in the cabin or the galley any time. You know, I can just about enough of you. I am really sick. I'm about to kick you into vagina. This is crazy. I'm not gonna control. This is an example of what could happen. This is not even what's really happening.

This is just an example, which you know, it's like a tame down version of what actually does happen. Have you ordered me around? You know, I'm sick of you and PrimaDieta's like you that work this gallop position, and you think that you have a number on it. I don't have a number on it. Oh, here comes the purse,

or she's ready to step in and make a man. I'm gonna mediate. Why do everybody have super short hair? Yeah, those are about to say the same thing. Why is everybody in the 80s have the worst haircut ever? It's just so awful. It's awful. It really is.

I don't know if I can wait a minute of her. Wait a minute. Let's try to keep our voices down. Everybody calm down. Can we all be friends now? I'm about to roundhouse you into the head. I don't know what the problem is. Let's talk about it later.

By the way, head this happened in 2022. Somebody would have already been on the floor and bloody. Like this, you know, yeah, no people don't get in this level of argument without it instantaneously getting physical. It's going crazy. The service is over. Right now we should be working together as a team. Their passengers are staff here waiting for service. They deserve, and they're not getting it.

Sherry, there are several people who need wine. I'll carry on with your durs. Linda, would you please check with me to keep my cart replenished, and could you also offer some bread plates? Sure. Now, please keep your voices down, and I know you're both upset. We'll discuss it later.

Please don't let passengers know that you are upset when you're out in the cabin, okay? Okay. I can see a lady going out with a wine that can't share you'll be right back with you. I've never seen this or heard this on a plane before, but no, I haven't either. But you know, when I've taken a few international flights, I like to hang out in the galley. Yeah. Yeah, that's my thing. I like to go and, you know, if you go in the bigger planes,

they have a galley in the middle, but then they have a galley in the back. And galley in the back, I didn't realize until I started flying internationally. The galley in the back is quite big. It is. There's a lot of spacious room back there. You can walk around.

Yeah. And usually they leave out some like refreshments and snacks for you. They do. I know. I went to Italy last time, I did the same thing, I went by there and some stretching. You know they suggest you get up and walk around and annoy everybody else around you because if I'm the one walking around, I'm not annoyed, but if someone else is walking around around me, I'm annoyed.

I'm annoyed. I'm like, sit down. What are you doing? I gotta take it that. We'll talk about it later. Are you ready? Okay, thanks. Meanwhile, look at those who are derbs. That's a whole plate of food. Yeah. We'll talk about it later. Are you ready?

Okay, thanks. Meanwhile, look at those over-derves. That's a whole plate of food. Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah. They were getting back then. Damn, I sometimes wish we could roll back time. Hey you, thanks for tuning in to yet another episode of this The Commercial Break.

Chrissy and I have some exciting news for you, the listening audience. We're turning Fridays into BTY Fridays. We're digging deep in our catalog, finding the best or most relevant episodes so you have a chance to catch up without spending more time on this ridiculous podcast. We'll take the funniest, most outrageous or most relevant to the content we're talking about now, and we'll put it on Fridays and make it easy for you to catch up on TCB. If you have an episode you'd like to hear or a suggestion about what we should play, 661-237-8296. That's 661, the word best, the number 2, y-o-o. You can also reach us at tcbpodcast.com, click on the contact us button and send us an email. Feel free to slide into our DMs at the commercial break on Instagram

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Let's take a few minutes to hear from those sponsors, and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break Okay, so that's how they handle conflict in between the two of them But how do they handle conflict with a passenger? Oh, okay, that's a different thing all together And so let me see here if I can dial this one up here. We go. Oh Easy stress Sorry for the loud noise. it's part of the video. They are on a plane, you know.

They are. Oh, the smoker. The old smoker. What are we gonna do about the smoker in the non-smoking section? So what should we do first when it gets London? Well, I think the first thing we should do is go to the hair and sail. Do I think the first thing we should do is do exactly what women do in 1980s go buy things go spend money go to the sale

first week in January we're really in you know right time for it oh wonderful in the half the first are on sale it was incredible for a collection you ever seen excuse me perhaps you didn't realize but this isn't no smoking so zone and i have to ask you to put the cigarette out oh i'll just be a minute actually i mean i realize it's no smoking but it'll just be a minute well i mean how does it really change the smoking section from a non-smoking section it doesn't and that's the amazing thing about the eighty seventies and eighties when the eighties sectioned at all when i started working to make donalds

i remember like the first month I was there, there was no smoking sections. There were just, it was just the restaurant and you had those little tin ass trays, and they were on every fucking table, and people would smoke all the time in the entire restaurant. But within a month of me getting there, because now we're in the 90s, right?

And we've got the early 90s. Yeah. They had this whole, it was a big deal too. Sexions. Now you had a smoking section and a non-smoking section. And the non-smoking section was the small section. That's where parents with children would go and, you know, but everybody else would just sit in the smoking section. Everybody's still breathing the same air.

It's not like, yeah, it's not like the smoke decided where to go. It wasn't, there was a magic carpet to keep these things in between it was so stupid And I do remember when you could smoke on a plane because I smoked on a plane I shouldn't have been smoking on a plane. It was entirely too young But I did smoke on a plane and it was unbelievable now you think about it pure oxygen running through the galley and you're lighting cigarettes and stuff Moking zone and we don't know what I'll spend the cigarette smoking here I have to ask you to put it out. I'm sorry. There's really nothing I can do. We have regulations that we have to enforce.

Oh, it's not bothering me. I don't care. It's not bothering me! I don't care, shit. I just finished an entire ass tray. That's the smoky voice I've ever heard. Oh, that may be fine, but it may be bothering the other people around. I have seats in the back.

I'll be more than happy to try and move you. Well, actually, it's not necessary because there's a seat right here. Not necessary. I'm white and entitled. I don't need to go anywhere, do I? This is like the beginning of Karen's right here. Yeah. Yeah.

You can, this attitude is pervasive and it is continued to 2022, where these type of people have just gotten absolutely insane Before me That's all well and good, but the smoking zone is right back here after row 47 smoking zone I'll take you back and we can help we can find another seat actually I have to ask you put the cigarette out. This is why do you have to be so nitpicky. I have to ask you to put the cigarette out now. This is nitpicky. The lady's trying to do her job.

nitpicky. He'll believe this. Really? It's not a bottle. They insult the cigarette out. Shoot jagger. It's sure. No problem. secret out. Shoot. Shoo. No problem. Bitch. You know, it's the asteris in between the seats in the in the arm rest of the seats.

You had asteris. Yeah, everyone. The access. Yeah. You. I'm just kidding. I am calling the president of Pan Am as soon as I get off this flight, unbelievable.

Now, Oh, yep. Yes. Well, actually I wanna go to, I wanna go to a different one. Hold on one second. NIST connection, ready? This is what they did with an angry, oh this is, this is a,

now they are presenting problems and then they show you the solution. But we don't give a fuck about the solution because that's not funny. What we're doing here is showing the problem. That's the customary. Oh, wait, sorry, this is called mist connection. Excuse me, when is this on time the alarm gonna get to London? I mean, I've been waiting, I've got an important meeting in Brussels, I've got a flight that takes you all.

I got it upon a minute, what is this, what is this airplane gonna get somewhere? I'm sorry sir, it's all up to physics at this point. Asshole! I'm gonna have for a meeting in Brusselshole! How do you afford meeting in Brussels? I got an afford meeting in Brussels. I bet you do. I bet you do. And the red light district, where are you going, sir?

Yeah. If I had 9.45 from London to Brussels, and here we're going to get in maybe around 9.40, I mean, could you possibly guarantee to me that I'm going to make the next connection in five minutes? No. I mean, this is ridiculous. No, no.

Captain Johnson said we'd be in there right around the point. Well, yeah, it's Captain Johnson going to pay to $10,000 that I'm going to get in commission from a million dollar meeting that I have. It's Captain Johnson going to feed my five-mile legitimate children? What's Captain Johnson going to do for me? Bring out that chance and character. Let me talk. It's ridiculous.

What does he think? The pilot is just going to speed up. Sure, that's what you do on a plane. You just have the pilot speed up a little bit. Run out of gas or? Yeah, this is so fucking crazy. This guy, and you know what? There are people like this.

You know there are. Yeah. I have this meeting today. Today I have this meeting at two o'clock in Brussels. Oh, no. I have to have that. Oh, no. I have to have Brussels.

Yeah. He should have gotten a different airline. Yeah. She listened to her, she goes, oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. You're being an asshole, and I'm so disappointed that you're meeting your- You're missing your meeting. You have the same thing today? I had the-

Today I had this meeting at two o'clock in Brussels. Oh, no. I had to have this meeting today because I had another meeting in Miami and from that meeting I came to this meeting because The jet that are Miami London This is Captain Johnson from the flight took your work flying about 785 miles per hour flying about 75 miles per hour. About 36,000 feet light, cloudy. Let's see if this is a cone of heat. We can only put you in a few minutes here,

so I'm turning on my seatbelt sign. Your weather in London is cloudy at 46 degrees. It's going to be a little rainy like around the south-earned. We're going to get in. We're going to get in. We're going to get in on time. uh... uh... uh... uh... long day something. I'm gonna give you the weather in Brussels even though you won't be there on time. Oh, the Brussels is cold. You know, that's very serious. I'm really doing it.

The wind's coming out of the like, not a self-last. I'm trying to know smoking sign now. Please listen to your flight attendants. I'm gonna start the drinks from a spray sound. And I'm going to start to send you about 16 minutes or so. I'll get down to the center. And I think I'll be holding the line. I think I'll be flying. Because that's how every fucking flight announcement sound.

It does. You have no idea what that's. They put the weather as sports and news on the fives, but you have the fucking clue. Because that guy can fly a plane with 365 buttons on it, but he never learned how to work the microphone. No, that's not his specialty. Uh, that's going to be enough for the flight deck. Welcome aboard the flight 6102 from Atlanta to San Francisco. Glad to't run any air on it. First of all, it's air, it's air, it's air.

So I'm not sure I'm going to say so. And I'm going to go for the left and it's running. If you're going to say no, you're just going to know that your furthest is no. And also, I'm going to make sure you're going to have the first force of my little furthest. And I'm just going to make sure we get to there on time. Ha!

Ha! Ha! It's going to be a little bit of a weather. I'm going to get on the down. You got it down. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yes, that's the way it goes. It's funny because even the sitting somebody do it sounds like the fight at 10. Like the office, whatever, the pilot, whatever. I was Johnson. The pilot. First officer, Justin.

for a officer just No one asked for the weather I want to get back to my movie stop interrupting my movie Every time they make the flight announcement from the beginning now the entertainment system goes down It's like oh shit. That's why you watch the plane Yeah, why doesn't the flight entertainment system work under 10,000 feet? Why doesn't always turn off before you land? Get this meeting, come from that meeting in Miami. I don't know if you're going to make that flight.

Well, I better make it. I don't know. There's going to be a lot of people that I answer for it. Well, I tell you, I'm going to ask. Let's get an answer for it. Not panhand. No. Aegis and London, and they should be able to help you.

But we couldn't help being delayed out of New York. It was a mechanical dirt. Oh yeah. New York. Hi. You have Miami, New York London Brussels. That's right. New York London Brussels, Commissioner Connection.

Now the reason we have a New Yorker is that's a large movement. That's a very large hole close to Japan. And a four-time-year-old is a very large hole. Oh, you have a delay on the orchestra. Oh, just for that. I have a delay on the orchestra. And, uh, for the orchestra. I have a delay on the orchestra. I turn on the signal find out. Okay. It takes a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it And there I was looking out the window and there was this British Airways going taken off and maybe the next time I'm going to take I took pan And I look out the window and there's another plane beating us. I know he's all right. He's talking about I've never looked out the plane to see the other plane beating me. Well, baby once or twice

Yes, but maybe next time I will take that British Airways and I heck with the world. Maybe the next time you should maybe next time I will take that British Airways and I heck with the world page. Now you're in the next time you should. Whoa! That's how you handle it at Pan Am. That's the training video. You can under your skits. That's right. And now, someone wants an upgrade.

Let's talk about the upgrade. Mr. Jurang, yes, yes I did. My name is Cynthia Stewart and I'm a member of World Pass and Advantage. Let me show you my ID. I took out our card from her first. Let me show you my identification. I'm part of World Pass. I do. Part of the club. Yeah. I'd like to take our world class members on board today. I'd like to pick our world class members on board today. I'm from the Flight Deck, this is Kevin Johnson and Lieutenant Senior.

So the Flight Deck, I'd like to welcome our world class members, our world class members, our senior world class members, our civil members, our plan members, our junior members, and our social members on Delta. I'd also like to welcome those of you who have filled out applications to be our world class member. Welcome aboard. Just to do some fresh air for the flight. I care it's cold for you. No, sorry.

I don't like your weather sound. No, no, I don't like the weather. I'm going to the flight. We talked fast the way last Tuesday. And a little bit drunk for last night. So take a little bit of air in the next one. That's all for you. No, no, no.

I don't talk to you. I here in the next one. I'm not up for real. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I give a shit. You do your job. I'll do mine.

I only want to talk to you at 36,000. Why do they want to talk to us at 36,000? What's going on at 36,000? That's what I wanted to say. That was the goal height, I guess. Yeah, that's the top. That's as high as you can fly. I mean, sometimes now they can go up to,

I think they can go up to 50 now sometimes. There's some kind of limit where the oxygen gets a little too thin to breathe. But anyway, they always want to talk to you when they get to the top. Yeah, they made the goal. That's right. They're coasting.

Yeah, we're over the Pacific Ocean. There's not much we can do if we have an engine failure. So, uh, it's a bag of enjoy. I'm going to turn off the fast and seatbelt, so I guess we're all going to die anyway. This flight, the agent told me it was only going to be about half full and something's happened. It's full now. I guess another airline canceled or something. I have a really important business meeting coming up in San Francisco and I need some room to spread out. I need to be able to work and most importantly I need to get some rest on this flight.

Is there any way that you could move me up to first class? There's no way I can do that. I'm sorry. Well I'm a world pass member and I thought... That's a world pass member. What is a world pass member? Was that their loyalty club? I guess I'm assuming But man, she threw the kitchen sink at it didn't she she's got a meeting she's got a spread out She's got a rest. She's got a work done. She's got a breastfeed. She's got into a bunch of stuff Yeah, and I mean it's understandable that she deserves First-class seat clearly from someone that already has one Yeah, we should be moving non-world class members to the back of the plane where they belong

As a courtesy that this time you could move me up to first class No, there's just no way I can do that for you. It's company policy I don't I fly pan am all the time and I get all these letters from pan Am saying how important I am to the company And yes, man, we hand wrote those I wrote one of those to you that was for me Well, because I'm a world-pass member and I don't care about the food I don't care about the drinks. I just need some room to spread out This arm rest doesn't even come up. I'm stuck here for the food, I don't care about the drinks. I just need some room to spread out. This armrest doesn't even come up.

But I'm stuck here for the whole flight in one seat. Well, I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. Sorry you're stuck in one seat for the whole flight. Have any seats did you expect? But if I were to move you up, I'd have to move everybody else up. Well, nobody has to know. I don't think anybody else is asking to be moved up. Think about it this way.

There are all those people sitting up in first class who pay full fare. Well, I'm a world pass member. I get panicked a lot of business every year and just this one time, you can do this. You should have done it. Yeah, the world pass member, you thought about this. And she said, and you said admittedly,

at the beginning of this, that you thought the flight was empty when you booked it. That's what the travel agent said. So if the flight was empty, when you booked it, you should have gotten a first class seat if that's what you wanted. But you got on the plane, expecting that they would give you something for free because you need to spread out, get some rest,

do some work, have some exercise, watch some TV, talk to your friend, smoke a cigarette, get run around the gallery. I've never even seen somebody get upgraded already on the plane. Like it usually happens before you get on the plane. Usually, and well, now it does. I've seen somebody get upgraded on the plane. I've seen them make an announcement, like, you know, a Mr. Whoever.

Now, that's never been me. I've never, never that guy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It doesn't seem like no matter what status I am with Delta, upgrade doesn't happen to me. There's always 70 people in front of me.

And I hate that fucking line when you get to the airport and everyone's like, you know, just dying to get on the plane. Everyone's staying, you know, how everyone starts to crowd. I am a big proponent of not doing that. I drive Chef Crazy because he wants to get to the gate I am a big proponent of not doing that. A jive chef crazy because he wants to get to the gate and then get up and start going on. And we do have access to be able to get on

some of the first people, but still, I don't want to crowd up. I'd rather just get on and be real honest. Oh, Jeff wants to stay in there and get ready and be in and do the whole shuffle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to be one of the last people to get on. Astrid and I take, I agree with you. I mean, I've got've got to see I used to have a boss. I've got to see you've got to see I've got a guarantee, but you may not have room for your bags. Well the bag thing is yeah, that's that's why everybody gets

All upset is because it's 25 50 bucks for carrying whatever you got on the god damn plane. Yeah, and now they you know They they want to throw stuff under that you can always get your bags put under the thing for fun. You just have to wait long enough. Yeah, just go and they'll throw it. You know, we need volunteers to put the bags under. Okay, but I don't play that game. I want to check my check bags. I want to carry my carry bags.

And if I'm carrying my bag, it's because there's something important in there, a computer, a medication, a passport, whatever. And of course you take that stuff out before you put it under the plane. But I always take the asteroid and I take this philosophy of travel easy like don't I don't want to yeah And so I hate when people are just like cutting in front of everybody But I had this boss one time and she was a no shit powerhouse

Executive this lady has been in the biggest boardrooms talking to the biggest CEOs in the entire world. Kellogg, Nabisco, Posts, I mean just anybody you can think of in the, yeah, holiday and all of them. She was a brand expert and everybody respected her. And this is how she flew. So her and I flew one time out of Atlanta to go meet with Kellogg or Post or something like that. Up to many in Apples. We're both on the same flight. We get there. She sees me. Hey, you know, come on, let's go. And I don't have any status on the airline. I'm just like a kid at the time, right? And as soon as that door opens, she's like, you know, sitting there in a seat waiting for them to call the flight, and as soon as the door opens and they start calling for people who are disabled or have small children, yeah. That's very strange.

She's like, come on, let's go. And I'm like, come on, let's go. Where? You know, I'm like, I think they just called the, you know, she's like, no, no, no, that's not how you fly. That's not how you fly. And she goes and she stands right in front of everybody that's already standing in line. She walks right in front of them. And she flashes her whatever, you know, her billion dollar, million, yeah, world pass. Yeah, world pass. And she just walks everybody behind her,

who's so pissed off and she doesn't give a shit. And so she gets, I don't even get there and sit. And then you get there and sit. And then you sit for three and a half fucking hours, waiting for everybody else to get on, right? She goes there and she sits in her first class seat and I'm not in my first class seat because I don't have it.

I'm new to the company, I'm not gonna waste their money on a first class ticket. That'd be a ballsy move, right? Junior sales guy buys first class tickets to fucking Minneapolis. It's like, so in the middle of the flight there was an extra seat that was somewhere in the first class area and she pulled me up to the first class area. And the lady was like, uh, sorry, sir, you can't sit in the first class area unless you have a first class ticket. And this lady was like, uh, uh, uh, uh,

she pulled out her whatever, billion mile world class card and literally got the lady to calm down and get me a drink. It was, but it was embarrassing because... It is embarrassing. Yeah, and then when the plane got you know when the plane landed as soon as those wheels touched the ground she was already at the door. She was like right this is how you have to fly. If you fly as much as I do it doesn't matter. No one else matters except for you. You'll learn that really quickly and I was like wow that's

kind of a shitty philosophy to take a life but I like it let's go with you first class that's right I've got to get some rest on this flight look I'm really sorry I explained to you our policy and I've explained to you that we can't do it well you can't do it or you won't do it I can't do it I'm really sorry well I guess next time I'll just take my business to an airline that cares about its regular customers. Fine. See you later. Take your world class head.

Shove it. I don't give two shits. I love it. Well, you know, Pan Am is an airline no more. Maybe because of the way that people take bunch of people took their business elsewhere. That's right. I'm apparently these four people did. And you know... But there was a bombing. Oh yeah, that's...

That didn't happen. Yeah. Thanks, Chrissy. Thanks for bringing it all down. I'd like to think the airlines under because of the A2 flight attempt. It's kicking each other's ass and the galley. That's what I'd like to think. I know, and I would like to see it.

Yeah, rev down, Chrissy. Rev down. Rev down. I want to know whether or not you stand in line to get on the plane. Are you a pusher in a shover or are you a relaxer? Or are you someone in between that just kind of like sneaks in there? You're like, you're doing the dance together. I'm so relaxed.

I stand. I find time to walk. I walk. I don't take the tram. I don't take tram either. I walk. I love the moving the tram. I don't take tram either. I hate that fucking truck. I love the moving sidewalk. It makes you feel like you're a bionic woman. You're walking. I can just see Chris. I can just see I can just see your husband absolutely going fucking bananas behind him. God damn it. I like it in between stuff. They do art

insulation. All kinds of cool art installations at the Atlanta Airport, so Boring. I Want to get to the guy I got to get a drink before I get on the plane. I want to be the first one. I get my almonds my water. Boring. No one cares. Get on the plane. They'll give me almonds on the plane. I don't give a shit. I never eat on the plane. I never eat on the plane. It's just a bad idea. Yeah, it's a bad idea. I mean if I'm flying plate, I don't give a shit. I never eat on the plate. I never eat on the plate. It's just a bad idea. Yeah, it's a bad idea. I have some chips on the plate.

I mean, if I'm flying internationally, I will eat something. Yeah. But I don't know. I'm not a, like if I'm taking a domestic hop, I'm not going for food. I have about those people that bring food under the table. The whole salad sandwich.

I just got it, they just bought it. McDonald's Chick-fil-A. Whatever, and it smells up the whole air. Kentucky fried chicken, all that shit. Yeah, McDonald's breakfast burrito. It's like oh my god I'm like, do you know what I'm saying? So we're now going to turn up the technicians to our announce. Oh, the idea of 36,000. Yeah. Always at 36,000. T-C-B podcast.com is where you go.

You find out more information about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video. And now, a place where you can contact us and let us know what you would like to hear on BTY Fridays. The best of, we're sending it to you every Friday this summer. Let us know. 661-237-882-961-237-89661 best to yo add the commercial break on Instagram YouTube.com. Slash the commercial break.

If you would like to watch any of the videos clips every single day of the week full episodes a couple days after they air and I said that all quickly enough to say I love you I love you and best to you well there in the podcast universe until next time Christian I want to show what you show. And we must say, bye! Bye!I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, I'm a baby you