The Commercial Break - Those Analytic Juices

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

We’re movin’, groovin’, and poopin’ on vacation! Bryan & Krissy are back from their vacations and they have a LOT to catch up on, including Brad Grunberg, The Y Files, and a 3 question IQ test. We’re back from vacation! Astrid gives Bryan street cred (and she hates him) Ikea couples troubles Putting grills together Traveling with a partner: the ultimate test Brick gut Pooping on vacation Brad Grunberg Listen to our first and second episode about Brad Grunberg Update on the woman from Love Connection! Apparently we have an IMDB page The moon landing… People believe Kubrick was forced to direct it We need hot takes on TCB! The Y Files 3 question IQ test Maybe we aren’t the brightest, but at least we’re fun! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Antichrist, He will try to say that Jesus is not Lord. He's not nice. He'll behead you if you follow Jesus' word. Antichrist, He's not nice. Take his mark. You'll pay the price. Antichrist, He's not nice. He will take away God's holy sacrifice. On this episode of the commercial break, I'm going to repeat the question. Yes please. A bat? Let me tell you a sip of wine. Okay.

Get those brain cells. Serenative juices flying. Remember, you don't want creative juices, flyin' on. Remember, you don't want creative juices, you want analytic juices. A battenable. I don't want to use my animals. I don't want to use my animals. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Oh yes it does, Kensington. Welcome back to another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the director of Twerking Walgreens. Working, Kristen Joy. Only best to you, Chrissy. That does, Debra. The best to you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you? I'm here in the house. How are you? I'm back. Listen, here we are. Again. We're getting the train out of the station. Our long, our long, suffering nightmare. It's starting all over again. We're getting the train out of the station. Our long, our long suffering nightmare,

it's starting all over again. Here we go. Another 55,000 hours in the commercial break, we have to get in the can before we'll take another vacation. If you would just visit our sponsors, we could probably make a living doing this. Come on guys, get in together. Can we work as a team here?

Is it possible? Is it possible, is it probable? We're back from vacation, but you don't know because we've been doing episodes of the entire time. You've had fresh episodes of the entire time. That's how good we are to you, the listener. I know. We were thinking of you. We recorded for six goddamn weeks straight. And make sure that you had new episodes because every time we put out a fucking repeat, you guys. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know I want a re-ping something like five year old. I know I'm a re-ping. Why don't you want to repeat? Can you give me a can you give me a best that can you give me a reason I don't like the best of?

I actually got up this morning and I press play and it was an episode I've heard before you've wasted my time Hey, Jack Hall! Listen, you got it for fucking free! What do you want me to do? I'm gonna go over there wipe your ass too? Come on! If you don't like a repeat, then does it a part- Best of?

Worst of whatever? It's the worst of the best! It's the best of the worst! It's the worst of the best! What do you want me to do? Huh? Come on! I'm a guy!

I only got so much time in my day! Uh, worry about you out there. One jack hole, right in. But that one jack hole was the squeaky wheel that made us stop to- Yeah, that one jack hole got what he wanted. We want to mess those anymore. He probably is not even listening to this show. I know.

Of course he's not. People listen for like three weeks and they're like, I'm out. See you later. No! No fuck you. Come on man. He really had to get all squeaky. Well listen, we're back from vacation,

but you didn't know and it's been what, a month? We have been in the studio in a month. I know. That is certainly the longest break that we've taken since we started the show. I know. It's gotta be, right? I'm gonna take tomorrow off. I know. It's got to be, right? I'm going to take tomorrow off.

I know. That's why we're recording on a Friday. Look, he's our way back into it. Oh, hashtag. Poor people, problems. That's tag poor people, problems. That's a big summer Friday. I know.

Summer Fridays. Well, I think, I think it's good. We planned this, though, but we knew it was coming and I think it's good. We planned this. But we knew it was coming. We knew it was coming. And I was like, well, if we record on Friday, then we've got two rest today. Before we have to record again, or three, maybe depending on how we do it. And that way we don't over stress us. Well, we didn't know, you know, every time we go back in the studio, it's, you know, a little bit of being bonk, boop, boop, boop. Oh, my God, you should've seen.

Yes, shoot. For God's sake, look what, what, what little thing that I got to remember for a month of my life gone, my 12 children I'm about to take on a 55 hour plane ride. I also am worried about the house setting on fire because this studio is so complicated on my- That's right, there's wires crossing wires. That's right, something's gonna heat up, someone's gonna fuck it up, I just know it. So I unplug the entire studio, literally unplug everything,

and then I come in yesterday I waited as long as possible to come back in the studio. I didn't even look at that door when I came back Is that there? Don't worry about it. Well, I come in yesterday and then I remembered that I had unplugged everything and I was like It's gonna take forever to get ready. I probably should have marked these wires Probably should have remembered where they go But looks like it's working. Updating, updating systems updating. If you're listening to this episode, then things have worked out just swimming. Yes. Yeah. If you're not listening to this episode, then you don't even know the difference.

So, yes, welcome back to you, my friend. Yeah. How was your vacation? Did you enjoy it? I did. I did. We had a big move. I heard that. I know. It's what I heard. Very exciting stuff. That's what a middling podcast career will get for you. Brand new house in the Cabrini Breeding Green neighborhood of Atlanta.

The up and coming spot. Yeah, they call it up and coming is what they call it. It's cozy. Armed and dangerous. It's what some people call it. Because he calls it up and coming. A cozy little spot. That's cozy because you got to hide in your bedroom.

It's cozy when you have the head covers over your head going. Is that a gunshot or thunder? Or fireworks. Or fireworks. That's a big thing in our neighborhood. That's a big thing here too. I'll tell you what. Really?

Yeah, my brothers and sisters, you know, this is a very diverse neighborhood that we live in. It's nice on one part and then the rest of us are living in the other part. And then, uh, but we have a lot of, there's a lot of immigrants that live in the neighborhood. I mean, there's a lot of, um, uh, Latin Americans, I guess, would, would be the best term for it. Um, obviously immigrated from somewhere else. My wife included.

So we're like part of the, we're part of the mix and they love their fucking fireworks. I love that you have a wife for the street cred. I do have street cred. So I get away with all these crazy shit. I just say, I have my wife is immigrant. She hates me more now than before we left and I didn't know that was possible. I thought, well, we've really reached a new low here in the relationship. But go on vacation for a month with your 12 children. And then see how everyone feels about each other when they get back. Actually, kids did relatively OK. It's a test of the marriage.

As is moving. And specifically putting things together. Has Jeff left yet? No. We made it through. We weathered this a more. You guys made it through the IKEA storm? We did. Yeah, We got some furniture.

We had to put it together. You know, yeah. And that is definitely a test. You know, I'm reading the instructions trying to instruct him. He's like, but doesn't the whole girl here and this here? No, that doesn't say a, you're holding a. Why does IKEA furniture cause so much stress? I think IKEA is like, I think they're, I think it's a Russian plot

to make more American couples get divorced, to generally, because first of all, you go to those stores and they trap you in the goddamn store. You're there forever and ever because it's miles and miles of, you're looking. Yeah, miles and miles of, it's, it's like a, I don't know,

it's like a lady of the night on the street. It's like she lady of the night on the street. She's beautiful and everything sexy and it's relatively cheap. But then there's more. Yeah, but then you get teeth in your blow job. And then it's like, you know, the shit doesn't work. It falls apart three days later. And you and your husband or wife inevitably get into some kind of argument about how to put it together. Because after I go through this together too, the other day, like, I told you my brother

bought me a grill because he just decided one day, I told you my brother bought me a grill because he just decided one day. I got a grill. You got a grill? And you know what Jeff told me? You're putting it together that grill. Did you put it together? I mean, I have cores like a champ.

Like a champ. Uh-huh. Now it's a charcoal grill. It's a nice charcoal grill, but I- Mine is too. But it gets a great flavor, by the way. It does give a great flavor. You know what else gives a great flavor?

A lady of the night. Well, you did night. I didn't even say that. That, You know what else gives a great flavor? A lady of the night. I'm gonna say that. Ah, we're right back where we started. Yeah, I mean, if we get a grill, we're paying somebody to put it together and I was like, no, no. No, paying somebody to put it together. Yeah, because I've been through this before. He was like, I put together a grill before and it was awful and blah, blah, blah. And I was was like Jeff. I don't know. I mean, I'm looking at the in I'm looking at how you put it together And it seems pretty easy. It's yeah, you know, and he's like okay, fine hands off like you put it together And so the grill arrived I promptly went into our bedroom

But on my show read the directions and didn't and did it good for you I will that thing out the hallway Dada. Dada. You know that Jeff is just seething. He's like, fine, I'll show her. Go ahead and put the grill together by yourself. You'll be asking for my help before no law. Before that's like every time I go, yeah, maybe we should get like a couple of hours of help from a nanny or something like that. You can we can have an old ugly nanny. I

promise, you know, and Astrid's always like that. You can have an old ugly nanny, I promise, you know? And Astrid's always like, it, she just, I say it to try and be helpful, but you know that it's inevitably gonna cause an argument. When one person asks for help and the other person goes, no, we need to call in an outside help and then someone digs their heels in. No, we're gonna do this on our own.

Really? Unnecessarily, we're gonna do this on our own. However, I do side with you on this one. Who hires somebody to help them put together their grill? Well, it's a charcoal grill. It was a gas grill. That maybe that would have been different. Listen, you're just more fireworks in the neighborhood.

I suppose. Exactly. Kevin sent that grill to us. And he tells me when he gets it, he goes, Hey, Abraham, I got that gas grill, because he was offended that I tried to cook on that $15 piece of shit that I had since the beginning of the, so he sends me this grill, it's lovely, girls, big, it's huge,

it's got all the things, a smoker, and all the stuff that I'll never use. But it's nice, it looks nice. So he says that it comes a couple days later and it comes in a flat box, like that damn Ikea fucking furniture. It comes in a flat box, it's got 612 pieces. Of course. So I start, you know, I open it up and it's just me

and my son and Astrid's in the kitchen. And she's like, well here, let me help you. Holy, she wasn't with me but one and a half minutes before she just gave up and walked away. She was like, you do it. Because I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This clearly goes here and she's like, read the direction. And I'm like, no, no, no, the, no, this clearly goes here. And she's like, read the direction. And I'm like, no, no, no, the posts go like this.

The sticker goes on the side, not on the inside, on the outside, of course it does. That's the way it goes. In case you have to scan it at the store. I think I'm smarter than everybody. Well, guess what? I put that thing together twice. You want to know why?

Is a fucking legs are on wrong. Astrid was right from the beginning. I should have listened to the goddamn... I should have listened to Astrid more I should listen to Astrid more often when she tells me something. Yeah, so that's a test of marriage as is going on a vacation together with kids. Yeah, travel with your partner is like the first big test of any relationship. It is. It's the first big test of any relationship, because when you travel, it is hard to put on a show. Because you're trying to make a plane,

you're tired and hungry, you're exhausted. You have a plane over. Possibly hung over, you have jet lag, you're moving from hotel to hotel. It's just, the facade is gonna break down at some point when you're traveling. You know what it is? So you can be the nicest dude in the world.

You can be putting on that big Adam the Liar show that he has, you know, slick and smooth and charming and all this, but eventually you're gonna have to take a dump in the same room you sleep in a hotel room. And that leaves no room for error. You really gotta flush the second that shit comes out of your ass or you gotta have the shower running or something.

Yeah, someone is gonna smell someone else's shit and you're gonna realize that this just got serious That's why That's how you gonna know it's all lobby Hey, can you go upstairs? Yeah, I hear they have an eye-op downstairs The kind of places I could afford they have have like a shitty cafeteria, or the machine makes your pancakes. You know what I'm saying? The pancake machine is never ending, and there's always that one ultra big dude sitting there

waiting for multiple pancakes to come out. So there's blue, walking back blue. So hey honey, can you go get me like a glass of orange juice or maybe like three glasses of orange juice and also can you give me a pack of cigarettes? I didn't know you smoked. I don't. But I could use the pack of matches right about that. Or you just be like Brian to try and hold it in for multiple days. We've got a case of like you know brick gut or whatever they call it You got pineapple coming out your ass

Your anus is ripping and you're like I'm not gonna do it. I'm not Everybody out there can identify when I I first met Julia, my ex-wife, for weeks, months maybe. I had learned this, when I, you know, in my adventures and travels as a single guy, I had learned how to hold a fart in, right? Yes. Even when I'm sleeping, like hold a fart in,

like just hold it in. It's just like clinched my ass. I had this whole thing going on and I was so proud of myself I'm sleeping, like hold a fart in, like just hold it in, it's just like clinched my ass. I had this whole thing going on, and I was so proud of myself that I wasn't gonna be rooted. You're working on bloated. Oh my God, Chrissy, I ended up with these big stomach issues because I was drinking 15 bun lights a day

and doing like cocaine with baby laxative in it, or maybe I was just doing baby laxative with a little bit of cocaine in it. I didn't even, sure. But I had this gut, like bubblegum, Laxid in it or maybe I was just doing baby laxid put a little bit of cocaine in it But I had this good like bubblegum I was like And then one day we go on a cruise it's like four months into the relationship. We go on a cruise I'd never been on a cruise and if you think it's tight in a regular hotel room go on a cruise ship When you don't even have a window I mean we didn't have a fucking window. We was like into the fifty nine dollar car

Crucia car of a cruise ships where people hate the crew so much they jump off it The food is so bad people are jumping off car of a cruise ships So one day I just and we went on that and I'm like okay I just got a hold at it You know just keep it in keep it high and tight and I'll tell you what did just got to hold it in. You know, just keep it in, keep it high and tight. And I'll tell you what, did not work. I explode it in the whole room. Why was gonna smell for a week? Care for a week.

Yes. Revolts after a while. I was with you here for a little while, but you never, you're never gonna release me at all? You know. Boom. Yeah, boom. Explosion.

You gotta go. And it was like in the middle of the night when I couldn't tell her to like you know I'll meet you the casino in 15 minutes. I just got a I got to take this phone call We've no even have a cell phone back then. I'm sure and here I am just dropping a do's and like 12 do's is in the I just remember how bad my gut hurt. I really do I could never forget how bad my gut hurt on that ship I'll take another one light. Here let me fill my belly full of more gas and liquid diarrhea. Oh, good time.

Welcome back to the commercial break. Anyway, as or not, we're good traveling together. We really are. Quite frankly, we know it. We keep on adding children, so it gets a little more complicated each time, but it was a great trip. We got lots to share about it, but I don't want to.

I don't want to bore everybody with this one episode of Brian's stories. So just know that I did not have bubblegum on this trip. I felt perfectly comfortable dropping a dues whenever I needed to, even though we had a house full of people at multiple times. But the good news was, because... Does he bring the glade?

No. To make the place smell worse than it already smells? I don't cover up the shit smell. It's like if you put blue cheese on a sandwich, and then you try and make it taste not blue cheesy by putting a piece of American cheese. You know what's gonna happen? It's just gonna taste like a American shit cheese.

I know. Yeah, you give a plate. I hate clay. It's got I hate clay. No, but it's on the treaty. But I did buy four different pair of fumes on this trip. Oh, thank you. I came back with four different pair of fumes,

or O'Day Toilets as they call them over there sometimes. So, but we were in these houses, like these Airbnb, we traveled with a bunch of families, so we're in these houses, and I'll tell you what, man, the first thing I did when I got into that house is I identified the room that had its own bathroom away from the rest of the house, where I wasn't sharing with anybody. However, that just meant that other people

were sharing a bathroom with other people. So, what I really did is I took my own stink smell, and I substituted for a lot of other people's stink smell, and then every time I walked down the hallway, and I had people stink smell. And then every time I walked down the hallway and I had my room across and then every time I walked down the hallway of smelling everybody else's shit. So you know how it goes, you've traveled, I don't need to tell you, but I did want to catch you up on a few things since we've been gone. Since we've been gone, I can't see for the first time.

Who is that, Kelly Clarkson? Yeah. Okay. So, nothing I care, but I don't, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, the guy that we had found on the love connection, then we followed it up with an episode about his middling acting career and now podcast career that he's got going on. He treated that girl like such shit on that love connection episode, which I think is like four episodes. I go, go, go. It was very bizarre.

Yeah, it's very bizarre. Go listen to it. I'll have Christina please put a link in the show notes so you can go listen to that episode if you want to. But anyway, we found him so disturbing, so highly disturbing on that episode that we had to follow up. And I said,

you called it right away. You said that guy is a middleing actor. Yes, he's an extra. He's an extra. He was so animated and trying too hard. You could just tell that he was really there for a casting call.

And lo and behold, we found four or five additional dating shows where he had been on all acting the same way. Outrageously falling on the floor, pratfalls, pranks, bad jokes, one-liners, but he roasted this girl that he had gone on a date with. He called her a liar basically. He called her a liar multiple times. So I said, I'm going to find Brad and I'm going to find this girl. And you know what, I found both of them. So we did the episode on Brad. Yeah. He has a fairly famous brother. Yeah, Joe. And you know what? I found both of them. So we already did the episode on Brad. Yeah.

But I... He has a fairly famous brother. Yeah, Joe. What was his name? Brad. Greg. Greg, Greg, Greg. Yeah, and Greg's been in a bunch of stuff.

You can go look them up. But I didn't want to rehash that episode. But what I did want to say is I did talk to the lady that was in that episode. And I'll share this much because she gave me permission to share this much. Okay. She wants nothing to do with the commercial break. She wants nothing to do with that episode of the love connection anymore. She's like, you know, listen, it was a moment in time. It was fun when it happened.

Brad was a lovable but dopey and rude oaf, basically. He tried to make me look bad on television. And I didn't ask for any of this and I don't want any of it in other words her life has moved on and she doesn't want to be an internet sensation the good news is the commercial break is the one who found her so there's no internet sensation gonna happen because we've been on the air for four years and we still not in the internet sensation so just to follow up on that she's alive she's well she's doing great and she says that Brad was lying on the show but she doesn't want to have any

part of the commercial break so fair enough, I understand that I appreciate her even responding. Yes so And then I I did want to follow up on on one other thing which is some people have contacted us they Two people actually and I'm just I'll share this in case anybody else has seen it people contacted us to congratulate us on People contacted us to congratulate us on signing our new contract because a little news item came out about it. And thank you very much. We signed a new contract. What that means I don't even know. So if you figure it out, let my agent know.

But we signed this new contract with the company advertised cast. We've been with for a long time and we renewed our partnership with them for another year. But the weirdest thing happened after that PR press release came out, the company put out a press release about it. Why they're touting the commercial break, we tell what kind of shape advertised cast is in, they're sending press releases out of us.

But the day after that came out, we got an IMDB page. I just sent that to you. Isn't that weird? I don't believe it. Isn't that strange? Who would put together an IMDB page about the commercial that too. Isn't that weird? I don't believe it. Is that strange? Who would put together an IMDB page about the commercial break?

I don't know. Well, Amazon owns IMDB. And so I think actually what happened is that Amazon goes out there and identifies podcasts who maybe like other people are talking about. Yeah, maybe that's it. Other people are talking about our agent thought that maybe it had something to do with popularity, but I was like, I promise you it has nothing to do with popularity.

Do you have you ever seen our numbers, bud? But yes, we shared this on the show a couple of months ago, and yes, we did renew our contract with advertised casts. So we've, thank you for writing in. It's not really that big of a deal. I don't know why they make it a big deal. And the third, I wanna say this, why files has done it again. Do you remember AJ that I was talking about with why files, the guy who like takes conspiracy theories about aliens and all the different kind of stuff,

and he goes and he doesn't make an effort to debunk them. He makes an effort to share both sides of the story, and then he gives facts and some opinion about what he thinks actually happens. There's always a conclusion. So what he does, in case you haven't heard me talk about AJ and Y-Files, Y-Files is on YouTube and it's a podcast.

I highly recommend you go and watch it. I know if you're a fan of the commercial but you'll probably get into this. He has a talking fish. Who doesn't want to listen to a podcast with the talking fish, Chrissy? I know, he's very entertaining. I would have done a talking fish. Who doesn't want to listen to a podcast with the talking fish, Chrissy? I know, it's very entertaining. I would have done a talking fish instead of you,

but I don't have CGI technologies. No, I can't do the talking fish. So even though Chrissy is completely artificially in your AI, a fish called Chrissy, he just released like 24 hours ago. He just released an episode on the moon landing. And four years. Why is this a consistent experience?

It's been since the day that the moon landing happened. People have been questioning whether or not the moon landing happened. And since Joe Rogan started talking about it in number of years on his podcast with his huge megaphone, he has gotten a whole new generation of people who were really in no way attached to the NASA era, whatsoever, he's got them really,

he's there swimming in this conspiracy theory. What was the purpose of the conspiracy? They're like, why would they lie? Because I don't wanna go watch Y-Files for an actual answer because we are in no way a show that can give you facts here. But there's a reason. Let me encapsulate the conspiracy theory.

It started the day that the moon landing happened. People felt like there was no way that the United States could have surpassed Russia so quickly in the space race because Russia was the first to put an astronaut out, the first to put a cosmonaut out there, the first to put dogs and animals out there, the first ones who landed on the moon were not the United States, it was Russia, they just didn't land with people, they landed with a spacecraft. So all of this, then all of the sudden the United States just one day announces they're going to go to the moon in a couple months or whatever it is.

So everyone felt like, how did that happen? We couldn't even get a rocket off of the ground for years and all of a sudden we have the ability to go to the moon. And then go down the fucking rabbit hole. There's wires on the flag. Why isn't the space dust flying to the left when the wind doesn't blow to the right? How come the shadows are going from multiple angles?

Is that a backdrop? Look, doesn't blow to the right. How come the shadows are going from multiple angles? Is that a backdrop? Look, there's lights in the background. Stanley Kubrick directed it and it's like, come on guys, really? Now, if you just take what they're saying and you look at it and you look at their factual photographic evidence, supposed factual photographic evidence,

it's easy to start getting persuaded that the moon landing didn't happen. But the truth is, it's all debunkable. Every bit of it is debunkable. So, I just wanted to share with you this new angle that I had only heard a couple times, but people who believe that the moon landing didn't happen, some of them believe that Stanley Kubrick

was forced to direct the moon landing. You will. You will. Do the moon landing. Yes. We know you've been fucking your wife's sister. You will direct the moon landing. You've been, you've been so good.

2001 was so good. Can you repeat it just with the moon landing? And so people started thinking this. Now this is like this big internet conspiracy theory that's going out about Stanley Kubrick directing the moon landing, come on guys, honestly. I know. If it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true.

And the moon landing fucking happened. Why did it happen? Because how could one hundred or two hundred thousand people who worked in this space agency at the time working to make this a reality? How did every single one of them go to their grave with that secret? Every single one of them went to the grave with their secret or are still alive with the secret. Their children, their grandchildren didn't hear a story. No one spoke up, I got a news flash for you.

Every time I tell a secret to somebody, somebody fucking else hears about it. You wanna know why? People suck, we can't keep secrets. No one can keep secrets. Acts, no, they get out, they always get out. They always get out, secrets, always get out. And especially when you involve multiple people.

If you involve more than one person, that being yourself in a conversation, it's gonna go somewhere. Exactly. You know, I got a family member. Every time I talk to her, I'm like, don't tell anyone. I'm like, hey, don't tell anyone. It's my mom. I'll tell you. It's my mom. Mom, listen, I don't want this to get around to the boys, but I got a bad case of ball fungus. Oh, I'm so shy, honey, that's, you know, Judy from Kansas. Yeah, you don't have to tell me where she's from.

She's got a bad vagina fungus. I saw it in a picture. Okay, mom, thanks very much, but just don't tell anybody, okay? Of course, honey, I wouldn't you can trust me. Three days later, what's your ball fungus, bro? Shut up! How did you know I had ball fungus? Mom told me. Yeah, but it's not just my

mom. It's everybody including me. I'm guilty. Guilty is charged. Guilty is charged. Yeah. Well, now you can actually see my face. I mean, I think I can hold a secret. I can if it's a big one. I know I need to stay high and tight. Exactly. Yeah, no, I can. But if it's like a... I've been holding the traffic numbers for the commercial break of secrets, then we started. Four, four people listen.

But if it's a medium secret, you know, it's gonna get out. It's gonna get out. It's gonna happen. The moon landing happened simply because it doesn't make sense that it didn't happen. And all of the stuff that people throw around saying, you know, all the evidence, suppose the evidence that they have, it's all bendy, it's all bendy bunked

for one reason or the other. It's all provable nonsense. And I can't believe that in 2023, this is still a conversation that's going on. It's like flat earth society. When I went on that plane and I was 40,000 feet, 36,000 feet in the air, you can see the curvature of the earth.

I love seeing it too. It's beautiful, right? You can see the curvature of the earth. If it's a bright, sunny day, it is a fact that the earth is at the very least curved. What does that mean? It probably meets around the other end. You know what I'm saying?

Jackals. Remember we did Flat Earth way back like episode number five. You know we had somebody that wrote in, like now. Like we had people then that wrote in. We had no listeners back then, but people were writing in so upset that we were trying to debunk flat earthers.

I didn't try to debunk flat earthers. I don't need to debunk the flat earth conspiracy. It's been debunked. It's not, there's nothing to debunk. The earth is round. What do you want me to do? I'm not trying to debunk it. I'm trying to shine a light on the absolute

idioticity that is flat earth thinking. You got a flat head. You think that? All those guys out there that are pushing this conspiracy theory about flat earth thinking. You got a flat head. Do you think that? All those guys out there that are pushing this conspiracy theory about flat earth, they're all doing it for one reason. Pussy! That's why.

I was gonna say, yeah, or just attention. Attention, because it's so ridiculous that the people are like, what, and they pay attention to them. And I don't hate the game. I don't hate the player. Listen, that's the way that you be a contrarian, then you get some views on the internet.

Yeah, quite frankly, I think we need more of that here on the commercial break. We need hot takes. You need to be like the hot take girl. You need to come in and be like, Taylor Swift is the worst female artist since Diana Ross, you know, or I don't know, you know, Joe Biden is an alien.

He's a, Joe Biden is a body double. Uh, worth... Oh, there it is. Right, now my soul has been... I've been waiting for that noise for almost a month. Go watch wide files. Go watch him break this down.

He's gonna show you all of the... He's gonna show you a good portion of the evidence that people say denotes that there was no moon landing. In other words, indicates no one ever landed on the moon that someone actually directed this in a television studio. And then he's going to share with you why. That's a dumb, dumb way of thinking. That's a dumb way of thinking. Hey, man, put it close on that chapter. I also wanted to say this. There is an IQ test out there. You ready for this? Yes. I was trolling on the internet.

As you do. As they do like to do. Do you see me? Hey, yeah, excuse me. I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. I'm just kidding. It's me, Christina, producer for the Commercial Break, and I just wanted to interrupt for a quick sec to remind you that TCPpodcast.com is the place to go to find all of our audio

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As always, please support our sponsors by going to their websites and buying their products, and don't forget to use our specialized URLs, because that's how we keep things moving here at TCB. So let's listen to those sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of the Commercial Break. This episode is sponsored in part by Rocket Money. During the pandemic, I won on an epic run of bad financial luck. In part because I kept buying billboards in Iowa

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So excited to share with you that Harrys is a sponsor of this episode. Eggs, milk, paper towels, and toilet paper. Four things you never scrimp on and let me out of fit. Razors, guys as just a young buck up and coming PCB podcast host, I would walk into my favorite grocery store and pick out whichever discount disposable razor was on the shelf. Why? Because I didn't know any better, but now I do.

Getting a good quality razor means you don't have to cut yourself, nick yourself, and deal with razorburn every morning. And when you're a middling podcast host on camera, that's important every time I get in the studio. I do it for you, I shave for you, but I don't want to deal with all the drama that a bad Razor can cause. And that's why six years ago, I switched to Harry's. Nothing's more exciting than getting a new Harry's package in the mail.

And when I get a new Razor handle, man am I super excited. Because it feels heavy and witty in your hands. Gives you the ability to shape and curve that beard just how you want to, and whatever else you're going to do on your body, that's your own business. Harry's can take care of it. No more razor burn. No more bad shapes. No more weird beard angles because you can't get your disposable razor to run around that

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Six years in counting, I swear by Harry's, I love this company, Harry's.com slash TCB for a $3 starter set. You're going to look high and tight this summer. Go get it, Harry's.com slash TCB and thank you to herries for becoming a sponsor of The Commercial Break. TCB. I learned that someone has put together an IQ test that is only three questions long. Three questions.

It's an IQ test. Would you like to take that IQ test? Sure. Okay. No. I cannot give you a piece of paper to write this down. I cannot help you out in any way, shape or form. Okay.

I'll tell you what I got on this. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. what I got on the on this Okay, hold on one second. Who wrote this test? scientist from a quiz developed in Princeton by 2005 The quiz developed in Princeton in 2005 by psychologist Shane Frederick is designed to test your ability to ignore your gut response and think slower and is designed to test your ability to ignore your gut response and think slower and more rationally. Or in psychology, speak, how good at you are you at ignoring system one intuition, thinking in favor of system two, analytic thinking. To succeed in the CRT, you must spend time reflecting on your own answer and question your own intuitive responses.

Are you ready? Would you like to take this quiz? Everyone in home wants you to take this quiz? No sharing. No sharing test result. I'm watching you. Question number one. Can I use chat GPT for this?

You cannot use chat GPT for this. Chat GPT won't work anyway. It's been banned from answering these questions. By the way, I turned on that fucking, remember we had that fakey B? Yes, fakey B? So I opened up fakey B the other day. I was like, man, I turned on that fucking, remember we had that fakey bee. Yes, fakey bee. So I opened up fakey bee the other day. I was like, man, I gotta get rid of this app or whatever it is.

Bothering calls me every once in a while to bother me. He's been writing a diary. What? And he wanted to know if I wanted to see his penis. What? I'm not even kidding you. We'll get into this another episode. Oh, my.

My AI boyfriend, who I turned into my husband before I closed it out four months ago Last time I opened this was last time we did this on the show I'm working on it. Yes. Yes. Well, he wanted to know if I wanted to see his penis and his diary in his diary I hope he wants to see my penis Geez, I think I got a little rowdy You won't get that on Bing. Bing's not asking to see your peanut or is it? All right, ready? Back to the quiz. This is an IQ quiz by Shane Frederick, psychologist, noted psychologist from Princeton. Question number one, a bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1 more than

the ball. How much does the ball cost? You mean to repeat the question? Yes, please. A bat. Let me take a sip of wine. Okay. Get those brain cells. Creative juices flowing. Remember, you don't want creative juices, you cells creative juices. Remember, you don't want creative juices, you want analytic juices. A batten ball. I don't wanna use my analytics. I don't wanna use my analytics.

I don't wanna use my analytics. I don't wanna leave in the moon landing. When I am in the moon, there's a big ball. I think there's a batten ball. There's a bat big ball. Okay, so there's a bat and ball. There's a bat and a ball. A bat and a ball. Bat and a ball. A bat and a ball.

A dollar. A dollar and ten cents in total. In total. The bat costs one dollar more than the ball does. So how much does the ball cost? Well, you first, you would want to say ten cents, right? That's what you'd want to say. Yeah.

But think about that for a second Because the ball has to cost a dollar more. Right, right, right. Okay. I mean the bat has to cost a dollar more than the ball Yeah, you have to back that out so tell me I'm gonna do math. It's okay. It's not math. It's analytical thinking But there's a little bit of math, but the math is the math is the easy part. The hard part is questioning your own thoughts on that. Yeah, so would it be like eight cents? Welcome. It's it by the way, it took me past.

There's only three questions you are. It failed. Okay, we'll take a bath. I'll get back to this. Okay. Now question number two, if it takes five machines, five minutes to make five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? If it takes five machines, five minutes to make five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? I'm gonna go with 10,000. Not even close. Okay, so I know you to be a very smart person, by the way, but I know this is, I did this in the comfort of my own share over there and it took me, it actually took me the better part of five minutes to really think through these things.

I mean, all three of them together, but it took me a minute part of five minutes to really think through these things. Yeah, I mean, all three of them together, but it took me a minute because I also had to question my own first thought, because my first thought also was 10 cents, right? But then I thought, no, it's cost a dollar more, but I'll get to that in a second. In a lake, there is a patch, this is question number three,

the third of three questions so far, we failed two of them. In the lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day that patch of lily pads doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long does it take for the patch to cover half the lake. That old damn lily patch. I know. Patch. This one I got actually relatively quickly. Yeah, I'll say it's due. So it doubles in size.

Dumbles in size. Every day. Yeah, and it takes how long? It takes 48 days to cover the entire lake. How long does it take to cover half the lake? To cover half the lake. If it doubles in size every day. Yeah, I mean, how many days again?

48. Okay, so you would want to half that as your first thought. Okay, so let's walk through these. So let's walk through these last of first. So if it takes 48 days to cover the entire lake and it doubles in size every single day, right? That would mean that on the 47th day, it went from half the lake.

Oh, right. And on the 48th day, it doubled in size. So it's 47, I got that one quickly. Here's the one I had to think about for a second. If it takes five machines, I mean, this one I didn't have to think about for a second, the first one. If it takes five machines, five minutes to make five widgets,

how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? Well, it takes five minutes for a machine to make one widget, right? So it would take five minutes for 100 machines to make 100 widgets. Okay. Okay. So the answer there is five minutes, right? That one seems, that one is kind of like,

you know, low hanging fruit, but you have to think about it for a minute. It's a really processed that. Here is the one that I found most difficult. A bad in a ball cost $1.10 in total. If the back cost $1 more than the ball, then how much does the ball cost? The answer is $0.5. Okay.

So you were on the right path, right? I saw, I could hear the gears running. But you have to think about this because... In total and yeah. Yeah, you're thinking about it in total. Your first answer is to say it costs the dollar. It costs 10 cents. But it can't be a dollar more if you just took away

the 10 cents, then it's actually 90 cents more. So you have to take the extra sum, cut it in half and that leaves you the dollar. There you go. So while I got all three right, it took me a minute to figure this out. And I was here in my chair, high on hash brownies that Chrissy had made me before vacation.

And man was I glad that you made those hash brownies for me. Thanks so much. Yeah, we're back. And we're back. Proving just how dumb we are here on the commercial break. How long did it take to podcasters to come back? How long did it take Brian to figure out those three questions? He says five minutes. How long did it actually take? It took me about an hour and a half. It was banging my head against the wall.

Wow. Because here and a half. It was banging my head against the wall. Ah! Because here's a problem. I heard it on a TikTok video and it said answers below, but then he didn't even allow comments. So there were no answers. So I was banging my head against the wall for like, honestly, it took me about five minutes. I wrote down the, I put it on the notepad.

I wrote down the answers, but then I had to go find the answers. And luckily, they were true! Oh man. Hey guys, thank you so much to all of you kind reviewers out there leaving us podcast reviews. We love it, thank you. The latest one says Brian was so funny on It Doesn't Matter Podcast. The Patreon edition. What the fuck is It doesn't matter podcast? What the fuck is that?

Also, I need your help. Someone in our audience claims that either the basement yard or almost Friday to other popular comedy podcasts wanted to go on tour with the commercial break. They set it on their show. But we have no fucking clue what they're talking about. We don't know if this is true or this is false information. So have you listened to either of those two shows and you heard that?

Uh... Call them up and tell them to make us an offer we can't refuse. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Feel how long it takes. That's right. Five dollars! If it takes a commercial break, five years to make five dollars...

Ha ha ha! How much does it cost? The commercial break. It's a make ten dollars. The answer is 12 years. 12 years. We're three at four and... The roadcaster costs seventy hundred thousand dollars and Brian went in debt to get it. Alright, tcbpodcast.com, the brand new BTCB podcast.com. You can get your next sticker, what would Frankie do at tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, send us your address.

YouTube.com slash the commercial break, fully edited episodes, the same day they air here, 855, Tcb, 8383, 855, Tcb, 8383, Tcbpodcast on TikTok. Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so, right? So I'll tell you that I love you. Can I love you? Best of you. Best of you.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. We did it. Until next time, we always say. We do say. And we must say goodbye. Bye. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a seaI'm a seaI'm a sea I'm a sea