The Commercial Break - Total Eclipse of the Dussy

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

What's a dussy, you ask? Bryan will let you in on Dune's big secret, and you, too, will wish you had never heard it! The eclipse NextDoor on the eclipse We got some sweetie pie emails Dune, Timothee, & Zendaya The Dune popcorn buckets Men being disgusting Illegal advice from Bryan Someone needs to stop Bryan from making slurp noises A gross theater experience Swingin’ Richards Saluting! Bryan initiates a very unofficial typing test Do Bryan & Krissy know about actual typing tests where you don't count the words yourself? Bryan fights a possum LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. See, to y'all, I only appear to be riding a bicycle. See, to y'all, I only appear to be riding a bicycle. But to me, I'm putting miles between me and a dirty bitch. On this episode of The Commercial Break.

Yeah, I'm so glad we get to do all of our masturbating at home now. Yeah, it's the privacy. The internet has brought us privacy. I can do whatever I want, whatever I want. I mean, well, not here, but you know, not at this household. But there is six to seven seconds a day when you get privacy, so if you're quick about it, you can figure it out. I'm just going to be like, hey, hon, I'm going to go fill up my dune popcorn bucket. I'll be right back.

Me and Doosie are going to go in the bathroom for a few minutes. Leave me alone! I just wanna be with my dune toy. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Gray and this is the beautiful co-host of this damn show, Chris and Joy. Only best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Fuck around and find out. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. You know, I know this is gonna be, this'll be like out. We're gonna air this maybe a week after it actually happened, maybe even longer.

But the eclipse was just recently. Oh yeah, yeah. And that got me all excited. It was eclipse mania. Yes. The same way helping my son's homework gets me excited. I don't care, I don't care! No one cares, it's an eclipse.

Didn't we just see an eclipse like three years ago? Yeah. Why do I, why part two? Well 2017. 27, was it that long ago? It was in 2017? I thought I had children when the last eclipse happened. No, I thought I had less children.

I don't know. I thought I had more children than I actually had. That's crazy. But of course I was here, I was watching the news coverage, wall to wall news coverage on every fucking channel of the eclipse. That was everywhere, yeah. I get it, it's exciting, you know,

the universe doing a little peek-a-boo for us, a peek-a-boo, a little magic trick. Yeah, it was kind of eerie, kind of spooky for a minute. It was, I mean, I know that half the country experienced this, so I'm telling them something, and they probably experienced, some of them experiencing in totality, so it was different than what we experienced. Even the smallest amount of sunlight still is very bright outside. It's not like it went dark like I saw on TV, some other places.

But it does turn like this weird 3D color outside in the shadows start movie. Doesn't look like you're looking in like a weird 3D glasses or something. The kids were totally freaked out running around because we had to explain to them on the way out the door to school, which they got out before the eclipse.

Well, I was going to say, because I heard that the school was canceled for some, because they don't want kids to go blind. It's just too much of a temptation. You can tell kids all day long, don't look at the sun. What's the one thing they're going to do is look at the sun. Right. So I was telling my kids before I left, I had, I don't know, like this scared straight dare moment where I was like,

you know, just say no to staring at the sun. Like, don't do that. You can set on fire. Your eyes can set on fire. And so when one of my kids got home, she was literally so scared of the eclipse. She was like hiding behind the couch. I said, it's okay. You can come out and look outside. We're not going to go out there. Like, and we didn't have the glasses and all that stuff. We figured just best, you know, safety first, Chrissy, basically, around this household. Right. That's always the thing. Safety first, budgeting last. That's the rule around this household. And so I was telling the children, it's okay. You don't have to worry about it. Don't freak out about it.

We'll watch it on the television that we can see outside. That's the thing. You could just see it all over the TV. Yeah. And it just, it didn't work. I have permanently scarred my children for life. And then my wife, who is a rather intelligent human being, or I wouldn't have married her, says, well, you know, I'm really scared about the children looking at the sun today because of the eclipse. And I said, well, don't worry about it. I had a

little pep talk, more like a, you know, scared straight talk with them about them setting on fire if they should look at the sun. So, I'm sure they probably don't want to go outside anymore. And she goes, yeah, I mean, it's so dangerous to look out today. You know, any other day, if you peek at the sun, I go, Astrid, what are you talking about? And she goes, well, any other day you can look at the sun. And I was like, you can't look at the sun ever. There's no day upon which you can look at the sun. Did you not know that? And she's like, well, I've looked at the sun before. And I'm like, who are are you Donald Trump? You can't look at the sun. You can't do that. You can't ever look at the sun.

Don't stare at the sun. Isn't that the rule? Well, you can take a little peek. A little peeky, but it was okay. Yeah, like see where it is in the sky. Kind of get a directional thing about it. But yeah, well, the reason you can't really like stare at it with the eclipse is because you can stare at it.

Like normally you kind of have to look away. But I don't know when the totality happens, are they allowed to look at the sun? Because I saw a lot of people on television without glasses staring at the totality. I thought that was the whole thing. It's like, make sure you keep your glasses on the entire time because those solar rays can still hit you in the eyeballs. Unbelievable. I'm so old that I talk about the weather all day long and I still have people around me that don't know that staring at the sun is not a good thing.

But then I remember that guy in India who's been eating sun, stargazing, sun gazing for like 300 years and he's still alive. But did you notice that we have those eclipses every year and a half? We just don't see them because they happen out over the ocean. Well, yeah, they happen over the ocean. They're constantly happening around the world. It just did it happen and affect so many people. For us in the US to go straight across. What a big fucking to-do everybody made.

I mean, I understand. There were eclipse parties and eclipse playlists and foods. They had some big party they planned down in Texas, some huge music festival or something. And then Greg Abbott set up like a, you know, stop all the immigrants from coming place right where they were going to have it. So they had to move it and then it was bad weather. So they had to cancel it. And then some people had bought camping sites and they showed up and it was like the fire

festival actual fire. It was so fucked up. Oh, no. Ah, the best laid plans. You know what I'm saying? But you know where all the action was happening? Where? All the action was happening, a good eclipse information you could only get from Nextdoor. Oh, of course. So let's see. Let's go back to the past. Let's go into the future, back to the past

and see what the people on Next door are saying about the eclipse. What were they thinking? I don't think they were thinking. No. I don't think they were thinking. All right, so one person says, "'Does anybody know where a good spot might be to look at the eclipse?

I have a big space in my yard where I can see the sun at that time, but I figured getting higher would make for a better look." Getting how high do you think you're going to get? Getting higher? What are you talking about? They need the ladder. Yeah, they need the space ladder is what they need. Yeah, that's right. That's the dumbest question I've ever heard.

They can clean their leaves off the roof too. Yes. Made a piece of paper with a hole in it to look at eclipse. Check out picture. The picture is of a colander, like a pasta strainer. That's it. That's all it is. They said we could use those. I know, but that's not a piece of paper with a hole in it. The other one that I thought was harness the energy of today's eclipse, time to manifest abundance and positivity, handing out free tarot card readings inside my tarot card place during eclipse.

Don't worry about watching it. That's right. Solar eclipse glasses available, four pairs available, now only three. That's what they wrote on the books. Four, four, now pairs available, now only three. That's what they wrote on the post. Four, four, now only three. Now only three. In real time, they were updating how many pairs of glasses they have. One person came by and picked up a pair.

Yes. I have piercing blue eyes. Did this happen because of the eclipse? You know animals tend to do weird stuff during eclipses. That is the post. Piercing blue eyes, does this happen because of the eclipse? That makes no sense. Yes. Well, speaking of animals though, did you notice anything with blue? Or she just continued

her crazy stuff. Oh no, blue was fucking nuts yesterday. Yeah, but that's like, I don't know if that's normal or I'm not really sure. Here's a lady who shared that she got a picture of the eclipse. However, clouds were rolling by, so the cloud, so could you please edit out the clouds? Sure, we'll edit out the clouds. Have you seen that guy? It's like, can you fix this? No. Have you seen that guy? It's like, can you fix this? There's like a famous, he's like

a photographic editor and he's really good at Photoshop. And he's got this Instagram and it's like, can you fix this? And people submit stuff. Yeah, they submit stuff and it'll be like, can you take my, you know, I don't like my, me and my ex boyfriend aren't together anymore. Can you take them out of the picture? Pretty ingenious. And then he'll do something funny with it. It's pretty good. He's pretty good at it. Hi, neighbors. Having a little eclipse party if you would like to come. Thanks. No address given,

no phone number. Thanks. No responses, by the way. No one volunteered for the creepy guy. Eclipse party with the creepy guy. I took a video of a possum that I tried to save, but he didn't make it, was hoping the eclipse would help him along. Tender care. Tender care. What? The eclipse was supposed to resurrect him? Yes.

Who makes up a possum? It is like, well, he's only got his head squished, maybe his body will survive. Oh, those possums are like, oh, big rats with huge tails. And I know some people had to have them as pets. No. No, that's really weird. Molly writes, good evening, missed the eclipse.

Any way that I can see it somewhere else, let me know. TV. Television. Or even NASA.com. Instagram. Or Gov or whatever it is. Any place you would be able to see them. People on Nextdoor, man, they just like,

I don't know, they've all lost their collective minds. It really is the dumbest social network out there because I think the average age is 77 that they're using. Speaking of 77 average age, my mom is gonna be on the show with us, Manjana, so you wanna tune in. She's gonna answer a few of the listener questions. And while we're talking about listeners,

I just wanna say that over the last, I don't know, three or four weeks, we have gotten some really touching listener emails. I know, you sent me some of those, wow. And I'll read them out on another day, but I just wanted to say this. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it.

This is a really fucking easy job. We're not going to complain. You come in here, you talk on the microphone for a couple of hours. Sure, there's some stress involved here and there, and you don't get paid anything for most of your podcasting career. But at the end of the day, if you're going to do it as a job or pretend to do it, I think you actually get paid at a job. So it's not a job. If you're actually going to do this for any reason whatsoever.

Nicole Soule-Nagant-Klein It's more like an extended internship is what we're doing. Jared Saskar Yeah, a five-year internship. Nicole Soule-Nagant-Klein Exactly. Jared Saskar How proud our spouses and parents are of us. Nicole Soule-Nagant-Klein We're doing it for the love of the industry. Jared Saskar Or the hate. One of the two. We're not sure. We're either doing this to spite people or because we love them, we don't know. But like Astrid was, who mainly responds to emails and most of the text messages,

Astrid puts her hands on. And quite frankly, she's the only one I trust to actually respond in an appropriate way. But she was reading these emails and responding to them. And a couple of them were really touching. Like the kind of email, and I'll read them in detail on a future episode, but the kind of email where it's like, Hey, I was really going through a very shitty time in my life. And thank God for you guys. Because you guys are going through an even shittier time. Because you guys are going, yes. It made me feel better.

That's right. I think is where that one was going. That's right. I filed for bankruptcy and I was down. I thought my life was bad and I turned on your podcast. Filed for bankruptcy down to my last $27 and then I found you and realized you're down to your last negative $720,000. Congratulations. But it had a weird... No, they were very sweet. It had a weird effect on me. Because I think we've gotten these emails before,

but for some reason, this string of emails, this four or five emails that were similar in nature, really got to me. I was like, oh, wow, have we actually done something positive for the universe? Has something positive has come out of this commercial break. I think people are losing their mind. Isn't Jupiter in ascension or something? Mercury's in retrograde. I can barely keep up with the full moon. Well, I think Mercury is in retrograde right now.

What that means, I have no idea. That explains everything though. I don't know what it fucking means, but I blame everything on it. Things move slower or something. I don't know. I don't know what it fucking means, but I blame everything on it. Things move slower or something? I don't know. I don't know. Everyone's depressed and angry and satisfied. I think we've been in retrograde since 2015, if I'm being honest. But we do have the best listeners in the world. And I just wanted to, I'll preempt this by, I'll preempt the actual reading of the emails by saying that what lovely listeners that we have and how touching that is. Nicole Soule-Nagant Very grateful.

Jared Slauson Because in lieu of payment, we need something to hang on to. And so those emails are doing us- Nicole Soule-Nagant They're keeping us going. Jared Slauson They're keeping us going. Unfortunately, the mortgage company called and said they will not take that email as payment. So please send your donations to tcbpodcast.com, the best little charity in the world.

Nicole Soule-Nagant We need to register as like a 501C3. DCVpodcast.com, the best little charity in the world. We need to register as like a 501c3. Oh yeah, I don't even know what that means, but yes, we do. Tax exempt. Is that tax exempt? Yeah. Yeah. How do you do that?

How do you get one of those? You register. Yeah, but can we like feed ourselves with those? Can we be a 501c3 and then take paychecks? Scientology does it. A lot of religious- Don't say Scientology because then this episode will never air. Speaking of kooky universe bullshit, the Scientologists are the weirdest of the weird. And anytime

we have tried to do an episode on Scientology, something freaky happens. Some kind of technical issue appears. And I am not a conspiracy theorist. I don't believe in, you know, I don't believe in a lot of the hooky-cooky bullshit, but I will say that like four separate times is not a coincidence. There is something strange, whether it's some universal energy. Maybe the Scientologists are right. Maybe Thagon or Egon or whatever his name is, is controlling the strings from outer space. And he's decided that the commercial break is the straw that's going to break the camel's

back, so I'm not going to let them talk about it. Is that kind of like the three-body problem? So you got me watching that. Oh, are you watching the three-body problem? I just watched the first episode and started the second. Are you hooked? It's very interesting. It's very interesting.

More becomes clear as you go on. I definitely wanna know what's happening, but it seems like somebody's pulling strings. Chrissy, I'll tell you what, I didn't wanna go on this stuff, I didn't wanna talk about this, but we'll talk about it anyway. The three-body problem. You told me to watch it.

I know. The three-body problem is a fascinating television show if you're into that kind of thing. And I am not a sci-fi type of guy. Jared S Endlessly, all night long, to sleep, to sleep, to sleep. And I started watching Three Body Problem because I had run out of other shows that I wanted to watch. So I started watching Three Body Problem. I got hooked almost immediately. And now I've been to the end. And I will- I will tell you what, it is a highly dissatisfying ending.

There absolutely has to be a season two, absolutely. Or it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Do you know the whole story of it? Have you looked at any of the whole story? Because I've seen bits and pieces of how, because it was a big- It's a big series of novels, right? Over in China, yes.

And a big mogul, I'm gonna say this all wrong, but he, a billionaire. Okay. A guy who I think had like a video game, a gaming company. He got, you know, he was in the culture and heard about it a guy who I think had like a video game, a gaming company. He got, you know, he was in the culture and heard about it and wanted to turn it into this series, which it now is. He got in touch with the people that did Game of Thrones

and HBO or Netflix, it's on Netflix. Yes, on Netflix, yeah. So anyways, but one of his employees killed him. Killed him? Yeah, over like a demotion or something. So this guy never even is not able to even see this coming to fruition. Or is he?

Or is he? Dun, dun, dun, dun! It's a fascinating movie. And I think I read somewhere where, I think I read somewhere that Netflix is not the only streamer that's adapting some version of the three body problem. It could be completely wrong, probably am, most of the time I am. But I think that I've read that and that's what initially got my interest going about

watching it anyway. It's like, oh, I just read an article about this. Let me see the three body problem. But it tells half the story. It's kind of like Dune part one. You're like, oh, fuck, I want to watch Dune part two. I haven't watched Dune. You haven't watched Dune? No. You haven't like Dune part one. You're like, oh fuck, I wanna watch Dune part two. If you- I haven't watched Dune. You haven't watched Dune? No. You haven't watched Dune?

I'm sorry. How have you not watched Dune? Cause you've been keeping me busy with freaking 90 Day Fiance? Blind, Love is Blind, 90 Day Fiance, Una de Estres, Quatro. Stop all things that you're doing right now and go watch that Timothy Shout Out on Mamma Mia. Go watch him in that movie because that movie is fucking excellent.

And Zendaya, I have the biggest crush on her. She is incredible. Dune One, and I can't wait to see Dune Two when it comes out on a small theater because I'm not allowed to go to the big theater because I have 34 fucking children. But I cannot wait to see that Dune part two. And I sure as shit hope they make a Dune part three. He says he might, if he gets the right script, he might make a Dune part three. But those are some of the sci-fi things that I just like randomly fall into. I was really fascinated when the Dune trailers, the original Dune one.

Yeah, it looks fascinating. And I watched it and I was just blown away. I was like, this is movie making. Fuck, yeah, this is movie making. And while the three body problem does not affect me in that way, like the filmmaking isn't as rich or detailed or, you know, the photography. Or in a desert. Or in a desert, in a future land where everything's gray and spacey and there's big worms that jump

from one sand pile to the other. I mean, that's just amazing. But I do want to talk about the dune popcorn cups. You led me right down the Primrose path Not even knowing. to talk about the dune popcorn buckets. Have you seen this? No, I've not. Okay, I'm going to show you a dune popcorn bucket when we get back. And you're going to be quite surprised or not at all surprised at what people, mainly men, have decided to do

with the dune popcorn bucket. So let's take a break and we'll be back. I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB.

Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. At Real Canadian Superstore, our colleagues collectively speak over a hundred different languages and counting.

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Okay. So along with the Big Dune 2, which just came out a couple of months ago, a huge international smash success. Some people saying it's one of the best movies ever made. I reserve judgment. I haven't seen it. But what comes along with a movie franchise that's that popular is all the accoutrements, the toys, the shirts, the merch, all the merch, every kind of merch. And what AMC decided

to do is that they were going to put together a little popcorn bucket that they could sell. And I want you to take a look at that popcorn bucket and tell me what you think that is. You have to stick your hand in that sand vagina in order to get your popcorn. Wow. So, what some people have reportedly been doing is fucking the popcorn bucket. Yes. And I have read articles, whether they be satire or not, I have read articles where certain young men have decided to give it a go and say that it's fantastic. Really?

So much so that as I stand here today in the middle of April, as I sit here today in the middle of April on eBay, they are $200. $200. $200. There are some horny dick dudes looking to get their dicks wet in this popcorn bucket. And I gotta say, I agree. I mean, I'm just like, that looks like- You wanna try it too? It looks like a, you know,

like a French tickler kind of vagina. Well, after your failed attempt with the other device- This looks like a hole I can fit into. Yes. This looks at a hole I can fit into, yes. This looks at least half an inch wide. Something I can probably fit into comfortably. I mean, after my experience with the VW bus, also known as the world's best pocket pussy,

it vibrates, it sucks, it fucks, it does it all. If you can manage to get inside of the thing, which I couldn't, so I put that down. This popcorn bucket looks right up my alley. I mean, yeah, what could I put in the popcorn, a jello or something? I'll put something in there. I mean, I'm not that long, so I don't even think I'd reach the jello. But this thing is a, for those of you who haven't seen it, just Google dune popcorn

bucket and you'll see it. It is a popcorn bucket on top of it is a plastic sandworm that looks exactly like something you would stick your dick into. And of course I'm gonna be a three-year-old and keep on keep the joke rolling here and say that it does look like something you would stick your dick into. As a matter of fact I think I'd get nervous if I was on the date and some guy brought you know bought the dune bucket Oh, I see it fits on top of the bucket. It fits on top of the bucket. You're supposed to stick your hand in and grab the popcorn.

They're gone, and now they're on eBay. Is that right? Yeah, there's no more, I don't know, I guess there's no more left. And now they're on eBay. Brand new popcorn bucket, novelty sandworm vessel dunzee brand new, whatever that means. $200. $200! Oh, here's one. Slightly used. Dune Popcorn Bucket 2 AMC Doosie. Doosie spelled D-U-S-S-Y. Let me guess what the upside down D stands for.

Right. I mean, the upside down P stands for. Doosie is not supposed to be doosie, it's supposed to be pussy, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Oh, look, there's a Ghostbusters Frozen Empire Slimer Popcorn Bucket 2. I think I could fuck that too. Oh, here's a Blue Beetle one. Yeah, I could fuck that. Yep, King Godzilla 2024 Popcorn Bucket, 61 bucks from Thailand. I could fuck that too.

I could fuck any of these popcorn buckets to be quite friendly. You found it all in one place. Listen, why bother going anywhere else? Just go to your local AMC. You got it all there. Make sure you're in a quiet row by yourself. You know, the thing about going to the movies now is you got it all there. Make sure you're in a quiet row by yourself.

The thing about going to the movies now is you pick your seat beforehand. That's right. Which quite frankly, I love because I hated that doing that dance in movie theaters. You just prayed that it was like a slow night at the movie theater so you could get a good seat where you have to sit next to somebody who's using their phone, laughing or making obnoxious noises the entire time. And so, I always, I don't care what movie I'm seeing. I don't really necessarily care about the location of the seat. I want to get a seat that's away from other human beings because they bother me so much. So, I just try and pick the one that's furthest away from any other seat that's taken. That's my whole goal

when I go there. So, if you're going to go and get your popcorn doocy, then what you got to do is you got to make sure you have a seat by yourself. This is not legal advice, by the way. You got to talk to your lawyer before you do this. But go over there and have yourself a nice time. Watch Dune gets entire, Timothee Chalamet, that's your thing. And then fuck the popcorn bucket. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to do this and I'm going to record it and I'll bring back the results. Did Brian fit in the popcorn bucket or not? Yeah, maybe don't do it though at the theater.

Why not? Peewee did it and he just got like a fine. Ruined his career. But I'm no Peewee Herman, but you know, Pee-wee was all over it. We used to have this movie theater. I don't know if you remember this, the Buckhead Theater. Do you remember? Well, there's a Buckhead Theater now. Buckhead Cinema is actually what it was called, the Buckhead Cinema. It was in one of the nicest parts of Atlanta, probably the nicest part of Atlanta, called Buckhead. And it's been all already done, like almost all shitty downtowns have been.

They've been eaten up by developers and made into these super fancy outdoor malls and shopping areas and retail. And that's all nice and wonderful, adds value to the house, it makes everything looks nice and it's a lot of fun to go to on a Saturday afternoon. But back in the day, we were like,

kind of like a small- There's no grit to it. Yeah, there's no grit to it. There's no there's no danger You're not feeling weird about going when I was a teenager like in my late teens There was all kind of grit to Buckhead There were a lot of like shitty bars that only people under 25 years old went to and they were basically fire hazards altogether and it was just a row of bars that

Everybody went to in the middle, you know, to get fucking hammered in the middle of the night, and then Ray Carruth stabbed somebody or somebody stabbed somebody and then it all went downhill after the Super Bowl here. But what it used to be was kind of like a mini Times Square back in the 80s. You could get all your fashionable wares and ladies of the night and gentlemen of the night and everything right down there in that Buckhead Square. And what the mainstay of that Buckhead Square was the Buckhead Cinema, which was a pornographic movie theater, and that's all they showed. And so, for years as a, you know, young teenager, 13 to 16, 17 years old, it was so taboo to talk about the cinema,

to want to go to the cinema. to want to go to the cinema. We had to go to the cinema. We had to find out, you know, most of us had never seen a porn movie. You wanted just to attain that goal. Yeah. There were tits right behind that dark dingy door. And all we had to do was convince the guy up front that we were 18 years old. But, you know, we were still at that age.

We were scared of pussy. So we didn't go there until I was like, and'm gonna call it 16, I think, like, you know, like late 16, early 17, something like that. And we had a friend who knew the guy at the front door. There was an older gentleman, like a friend of the family or something. Working at the porno theater. Hey, kids, you want me to babysit you on Tuesday night? It's the only day my electronic monitor doesn't work. I gotta charge it. And I'll be right back. I'm gonna go diddle, diddle, diddle. So we pounced on the opportunity. I cannot tell you how nervous and scared I was

of this whole situation. Because while it sounded all great and awesome, doing it is like another thing. You know, remember the Never Ending story where Atreyu or whatever his name was had to go through the two Sphinxes, the naked girls with the boobies, right? So, that whole scene right there describes what it was like for Brian managing to get his way into the pornographic movie theater, because there were tits that you didn't want to look at because if they smelled fear, then they would kill you, and you had to just run, like run Atreyu, run. And so, we got up to that front door. The guy

wasn't working there. He wasn't up front. It was like some older lady, and she was so gruff. I'll never forget. She was smoking a cigarette in that box office. It had one of those little speakers with bulletproof glass, because that's the kind of place Buckhead was at the time. And she's like, yeah. And so my friend, who was 18 at the time, was like, is this three of us or four of us? He's like, four tickets, please.

And she's like, IDs. And he takes out his ID and he puts it against the window and she goes, and your friends. And he looks at us and he goes, they're 18. And she goes, $23. Okay. She didn't even ask. Yeah.

You got in. We got in. And we walked in there mid movie because we didn't know what movie to ask to go to see. That wasn't that kind of theater. We didn't pick the movie. There was just a movie on and you walked in. Nicole Soule-Nichols I think it had two theaters. I think it had a one and a two, if I'm not mistaken. And we just walked into the first door that we saw because now we're in, we're scared. Don't look

at the tents. They're going to kill you." And I remember opening that door and just the noises coming out of that place. And I don't mean like the noises from people in there, I mean the noises from the movie, like, you know, and I walked in and there was some girl getting reamed from behind. It didn't take three minutes for me to sit down, assess the other human beings in the place and quickly tell my friends, it's time to go. This is not worth it. We're not here to whack off with these other pedestrians. It was dangerous. There were like six other dudes in the place, and all of them turned around and we walked in, you know, because that little light cracks through the door, and they all turned

around, like hunched over though, like, you know, don't look at my face. And I'll never forget one guy had like a hoodie on, but at the time, hoodies weren't like a super popular thing for people to be wearing. And so I instantaneously believed that I was going to get shot or, you know, I was going to, I don't know, I thought it was going to explode. I didn't know what was going to happen. I couldn't enjoy a second of the movie because I was too creeped out by what was going on around me. And then I realized as I was sitting on that chair, that just sitting on that chair meant I was going to have to burn my clothes. So I was like, I'm out of here. I'll see you later. I was like, I got to get out. What are we going to do?

Jared Sussman So you made it in. Jared Sussman Yeah, we made a mistake guys. Get out. Get out now. Jared Sussman Abort mission. Jared Sussman Abort, abort. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Oh my gosh. I was in there for so few minutes and I just laughed because it was creepy. Got a bad feeling. Yeah.

I'm so glad we get to do all of our masturbating at home now. Yeah, it's in the privacy. Yes, the internet has brought us privacy. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I mean, well, not here, but you know, not at this household. But there is six to seven seconds a day when you get privacy. So if you're quick about it, you can figure it out. I'm just going to be like, hey, hon, I'm going to go fill up my dune popcorn bucket.

I'll be right back. Me and Doocy are going to go in the bathroom for a few minutes. Leave me alone. I just want to be with my dune toy. Kids, don't play with the dune toy. I got it disinfected. Just don't play with it. You might get pregnant.

Don't touch it, honey. Did you ever go to a porn theater? No. No? Mm-mm. Did you go to, have you ever been to a strip club? Oh, are you asking me that? I just-

We worked together. Oh, yeah, that's true. Went to them. No, I mean like a male strip club? Oh, are you asking me that? We worked together. Oh yeah, that's true. Went to them. No, I mean like a male strip club, like a male review. Oh yes, I have. Oh yeah, yeah. Did you ever go down to the one downtown? I did, yeah, they close now, but.

Yeah, that's a shame. Swing and Richards. Swing and Richards. What a name, what a name. Just a staple in Atlanta for the longest time. A male strip club. Yeah. Do you remember I told you that- And then there was the gold club,

and that was where one side was women and one side was men. I went to like a bachelorette party there. That was the weirdest place. They didn't serve alcohol- The Coronet Club? The Coronet Club is what it was called. And you had to bring your own booze.

So it was like a weird situation. I think that's the way they managed to get both strip clubs in the same place as you didn't, or maybe there had been too many murders there or something. I don't know, but you couldn't bring, you couldn't buy booze there. You could buy mixers. So you got to bring your own alcohol into the club and then you literally took a right or a left into whichever section you fancied.

And it was always just so weird. We were talking, I remember I was just kind of in awe with the whole thing. I was like, all right, it was part of a Bachelorette stop. I think we also did the Buckhead scene that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was very interesting. And so like, do the guys get like, and I think we've talked about this,

it was many, many episodes, do the guys when they're stripping, and I went to Swing and Richards, and I think the answer to this is yes, but I'm just going to ask you, do they get like half hearties? Do they get like hearties? Yes. Yeah, yeah, I remember that about. I went to Swing and Richards one night, I had a girl that I was dating and I was just so smitten with her kitten. And if you know what I mean. I do. And she was supposed to come hang out with me one night,

but she got an invitation to go to Swinging Richards instead. And I said, oh, that really sucks. I'd love to hang out with you because I really was smitten with her kitten. I just wanted to touch her and be with her and hang around with her. You know, like that smell, the smell, I had the smell, yeah, the smell was there and so I was like, you know, ravenously hungry for the smell.

The hormones. The hormone smell. And so she said, well, listen, why don't you come meet us at Swingin' Richards and then I'll come back home with you. And I was like, Swingin' Richards? All right, I'll go, because I didn't care, right? And so, I went in there and I do remember seeing some half-hards. And I always thought that was like, somebody told me, do you remember I told this story about a girl whose boyfriend ended up getting a job at Backstreet? And so, he would always encourage me to go to his apartment with his wife and hang out with her till he came home from work at five and the fucking morning. And it was just a weird situation.

It really felt like the guy was pawning his wife off on me so he could be on the down low and do the things that he wanted to do. In other words, that's exactly what was going on. He was gay and he wanted to do his dalliances and he wanted his wife to not be lonely or distracted. They had just moved here to Atlanta from the north. And so, we all worked at the same restaurant for a period of time, but then he went off to work at this club called Backstreet, which we just recently talked about. And Backstreet, while everyone went there, was known as a gay club, that's really what it was, right? And so, he went and worked there as a bartender for a while,

and then ended up working at the Coronet Club for a while. And so, something he told me, which is probably just a wives' tale, like, you know, one of those urban myths, he said that it was illegal in the state of Georgia for a male stripper to be erect during a set, during a dance. But that's not what I witnessed. No, me either. That's not what I witnessed. I witnessed quite a lot of salutes, a lot of saluting going on with that.

And not everyone, but some, right? And they were at least fluffing themselves before they went out there. And that makes sense. You want to go show off your- There's a pill or And that makes sense. You want to go show off your- But there's a pill or a shot for that. You want to go out in your best light? Listen- You want to make money. If I was a stripper, which I would never be because no one's going to pay to see this

body, but if I was a stripper, I'd want to go out full macho man. Yeah. Because that's the only way you're going to see my penis from any, you know, from five feet off the stage is if I'm fully there, like I'm, you know, raised at full attention. Otherwise, it's just going to be kind of a weird, you know, where did his penis go kind of thing, you know? Piki-boo! Piki-boo! A total eclipse of my dick! It's a dick eclipse! What do you want me to do? It's the universe. Where can I go to see Brian's dick eclipse? Do I have to get higher or lower? I had a full dick eclipse. It's

what happened. I'm sorry. Yeah, but it was- Well, so did you end up with the girl later? Yes, I did. Okay, good. Yeah. Well, we ended up dating for a short period of time, but we had been through so many long nights of being fucked up together. It's kind of like we, you know, did you ever have a drug friend or like an alcohol friend,

like someone that you just mainly got fucked up with and the friendship was born out of all those weird conversations that happened, the more twisted you get, the deeper the conversation, the less meaningful it actually is. But you think in the moment you're fucking Sigmund Freud. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

Sigmund Freud, meaning I've done way too much cocaine and I'm analyzing another human being. So that's kind of what happened between the two of us, is just that it got, like we got so into each other's heads over all of these super long nights, and a lot of weird stuff went down in the time that this guy was like pushing me to hang out with his wife, right?

Okay. This was going on for like nine months, a year or something. And then they broke it off. And when they broke it off, we gave it a go, because I wasn't about to sleep with his wife. I just wasn't going to do it. Even though I think he wanted me to, and I think he wanted to pretend that I was so that he felt better about whatever was going on. And that's not what ended up happening. But when they broke it off, it was like green light go. And we were so close already because of all of these long nights. But there's something about when you meet somebody and drugs and alcohol are the main reason or the main catalyst to deepening your relationship, you are fucked. I mean, you are fucked because there is nothing there. Yeah, it usually doesn't work out.

No, it doesn't work out. Anybody out there who's ever done any kind of, let's, cocaine, LSD, mushrooms, and been with a woman or a man who then that relationship kind of forms around those activities, you will understand, or if you've even been in any coked up conversation whatsoever, you will understand that while the conversation may seem important in the moment, the very next day you are embarrassed about what you said and you don't even remember. You will literally plan changes to the world that will affect every human being while you're coked up. You are going to save the world. You know how to get clean water, how to feed the children that aren't eating, how to take

all the dogs out of terrible, miserable situations. You could run for president. You would know exactly what to do. All those conversations are had while you're coked up. The next morning, all you want is a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich and to sleep for the rest of the fucking day. You get nothing accomplished. That's it. Nothing. Because that's the way that fucking drug works. Or all drugs, really, at the end of the day. And so, when we finally got our chance to

like be in the sun and, you know, okay, we can date each other now, it just kind of fell apart. Yeah, because I think all those come, I think we realized we were both just full of shit. I think that's what happened. You're full of we were both just full of shit. I think that's what happened. You're full of shit, I'm full of shit. Why are we doing this? Let's not, yeah, let's be friends. Let's go back to doing cocaine and being friends.

That was a lot of fun. Right. And we did, and it was. So all right, let's take a break. And then I want to tell you about some, I want to play a little game with you. Oh, okay. I mean, I'll preface it. You're going to like this. I know you are.

We'll be back. Hey, Podcast Universe. It's Astrid. While Brian and Chrissy are here messing around in the studio, I am here doing the important work behind the scenes. So who better to tell you where to go than your favorite Venezuelan producer? That's me. First, go to tcbpodcast.com and check out the website I helped design.

Then, hit the contact us button and send us your address to get your free TCB sticker that I also designed. You can text us at 212-433-3TCB and it's likely I'll be the one to respond. And one last favor, follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. It takes me a lot of time to create all those posts. You can watch the show at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break and see how I made Brian and Chrissy look good in that studio. See Brian, you're not the only one I boss around. And now let's hear from our sponsors while I go back to work. Okay, watching a video the other night from the 50s, 40s or 50s, and it's basically females in the workplace is what it was. You know, one of those old like, you know, educational videos, trying to get women to

get out there in the workplace and make a name for themselves out in the business world. And it was all centered around typing. That's what they needed to learn. Typing, typing, typing. Yeah, that was a big thing. They were supposed to be secretaries. That's right, secretaries or note takers or whatever. And these are days gone by, but this was really the one job that could be had by a lady that would be somewhat in the reputable business world was to, or like in the executive world, would be to be a secretary who could type many words per minute. And the narrator was explaining that if you can't even type a hundred words a minute or 90 words a minute, whatever the thing was, then you're certainly no prospect for getting a job. So, you need to take your typing classes, pay attention

and practice, practice, practice. It was like this half hour video and it was so, I don't know, it was so degrading to women. It's hard to understand just how people were thinking back then, but they were. And then I thought to myself, it's 2024. I bet we all type 100 words a minute on our fucking phones. We're all so fast with those phones, right? Don't you think? Yeah. Okay, so I wanna know how many words per minute

you can type with your phone. Do you think you could do that? I guess, I don't know how many. Are you, you want me to try it? That's what I want you to do. I want you to open up a note, okay? I'm gonna give you a minute on the That's what I want you to do. I want you to open up a note, okay? I'm going to give you a minute on the clock and I want you to, what should we type? Type, happy birthday.

Beth Dombkowski Okay. Jared Sussman Well, not happy birthday, that's not enough words. What's a good one? Star-Spangled Banner? Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light? But of course, I don't even know how to spell half those words. Beth Dombkowski I know. Jared Sussman So, okay. Twas. Twas the night before Christmas. Why don't you just write whatever you want to write,

like whatever you want to write, whatever comes to your head, or do you want me to say something and then you write it down? I don't know. Okay. What is this? Pressure. Pressure? And also, aren't we talking into our phones now for typing? Jared Sussman I am.

Danielle Pletka I know. Jared Sussman Yeah, I'm too lazy to type anymore. Okay, here's what I want you to do. I've got this David Spade fly on the wall, David Spade, uh, Carvey, or excuse me, David Spade, Dana Carvey, add here. I want you to type those words. Do you want me to read it to you? Danielle Pletka Wait, from the high? No, from right here, from this. From David's bag? This paragraph down.

Okay, I'll try. Okay. Can we hold it for you? Okay, here we go. Wait, let me put the, let me put the clock on. Oh, you can't see it? I can't see it. Geez, so picky. You're already fired. I didn't want the job. I knew women were too much. All right. You ready? Well, let's see, because I haven't really done.

Okay, let's do it this way. Okay. On your mark, get set, go. All right. We're three seconds in and she seems to be doing very well. I see those thumbs moving very quickly across the screen. Float like a butterfly, type like a bee. Wait, oh no, I got messed up.

Don't worry about the messing up, just keep going. We'll check it for accuracy. We'll check it for accuracy. And she's off to the races, folks. Look at her. If she could just learn to dress appropriately, we certainly would hire her here at the commercial break. And low cut, short skirts.

Lots of makeup, gotta get your hair done every day. Yeah, skirts down to your knees, girls. Make sure you're not one inch above the knee rule. And back in the 40s and the 60s, it slowly went up. So, wow, you're doing about one inch above the knee rule. And that's back in the forties and the sixties, it slowly went up. So, wow, you're doing a great job there, Holi. I can see a lot of typing going on there. I don't know what it's saying, but we'll see how close. You got five seconds.

Okay. Uh, stop. Okay. Okay. Let's see. Let me see. All right. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three,

twenty-four. You have no chance of getting a job in nineteen-fifty. No. But also they were typing on typewriters. Well, yeah. I mean, I could bring the... Do you want me to bring the typewriter over here? No.

No? The pad? Okay. Let's see if I can do it. You start your clock. Okay. Okay. And then I'll, and then I'll try to do it.

Tell me when to go. Okay. Ready? Yep. Go. Go. You're really going over there. I'm trying.

Oh, now a big word like previously. I know. I don't even know how to spell that when I'm looking at it. Well, it just auto-cracks too. Yeah. I think I'm doing really good. All right, you're halfway through. Okay, there we go.

All right, keep going. I think I'm going to beat you. You're hired! Oh, yay! Don't tempt me. Don't tempt me with getting a paycheck. Every week, every month. You know what I do have to say is I do have to say

their new podcast has a description. It sounds great. It looks a lot like ours. It sounds really good. I think they stole our idea. Yeah, and time. Okay, all right. So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 30, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 40, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 50, on the dot. All right, good for you. So I'm halfway to getting a job in the 1940s secretary pool. That's for sure. I mean, I assumed that we would be much better at typing because of how much that we all do type. Like, can you imagine that back in the 40s and 50s, taking a typing class with the

only hopes that you're, the hope is only that you could get a job as a secretary. That's insane. So you had to type that fast. I watched those courtroom reporters. Oh, those stenographers. So you know what really got me going on this? Stenographers, sorry, not typewriter people. You know what the typewriter people do, not typewriter people. You know what the typewriter people do? The typewriter people! They're coming for you! Well, they do like a shorthand type thing, right?

They do, they do a shorthand thing. And so the reason- It's like a small little one. It's a tiny little thing. And it's got like 16 buttons or something. And those 16 buttons make certain like phrases, like do yeah they do and then they kind of I don't know exactly how it works but I do know it's shorthand I watched a video on this and I was watching some of the it was a gentleman who was doing

this for court reporting and then he went on to do it for like presidents and stuff he would be in the room while they were having a meeting and he would do this transcribing and I'm telling you room while they were having a meeting and he would do this transcribing. And I'm telling you what, he was doing like 155 words a minute. He could literally keep up with anybody's conversation no matter how fast they talked. I wonder if he's met Brian Greene before,

but he was keeping up with these and it was just like these series of things. And actually it looked really cool to me. I was like, I wish I had a skill like that. I wish I had any fucking skill except running my mouth. I wish I had one skill besides, I missed a boat a long time ago. I mean, we should take typing.

Yeah. Trust me. It's probably the only job we would be allowed to have after the commercial break is typing, like in a jail, visiting room, on the other side of the glass. Hey man, I'll trade you some transcribing for a pack of, cup of soup, for a cup of noodles. Cup o' noodles. For some ramen. No, I won't eat ramen anymore, man. Not after I found out what it's made of. It ain't even pasta. But between like the transcribing video and then watching this entire 30-minute documentary,

so degrading to any female form, it was incredible. And the women that were in this video looked like hostages. That's what they look like. You know, he was... They probably felt like it. It was like nine women, nine, 10 women in a room, all on a small desk, like a school desk, typewriters in front of them. And then this guy, this narrator dude was a host, was just walking around them and goes, nice job, Judy, but that's not going to get you a job. Watch the spelling mistakes. Accuracy is the key. God. Ah, I don't know. I don't know if Judy is ready. She just had a baby. It's like, oh my god.

No, she can never work again now. No, no, no, no. You don't work after you have a baby? What are you, please. That's what you're, that's what you're meant to do is have a baby. You're not supposed to be out in the workforce after that. It's only for very young, very single women or very old women who've had their children already leave the house. It's the only way you would be a secretary. And that's the only job you could get. Remember Mad Men?

Did you ever watch Mad Men? Oh, I loved that movie. It was so fucking good. I just loved it so much. That's a great, I mean, I don't know because I wasn't alive back then, but it seems like a great encapsulation of what was going on back then. It does. But the women certainly made their way in that world.

Mm-hmm. You had to be kind of like the woman behind the man, you know, kind of making things happen without them, without damaging their fragile ego. Well, you know what they say, behind every good man is a dog that never stops barking. So I'm set for life. Yes. I'm wondering if Blue can type 125 words a minute because pretty soon I'm gonna ask her

to pay for her own food. Yep, 125. Yep, a minute. Oh yeah, she's got 125 bucks a minute in her, no problem. That's like a lazy lap around. That's like Hussain Bolt. That's got 125 barks a minute in her. No problem. That's like, that's like a lazy lap around. That's like Hussain Bolt. That's her warm up. Yeah. Doing a 10 minute mile. She could get going. When she gets going, it's game over. Forget about it. No one's sleeping. No one's doing anything. I go, I mean, I'll tell this last story real quick.

I feel like her barks could like power your house. Somehow, you know, you could put that into energy. Yeah. You remember Monsters Inc. where the scares would like power the whole town. I feel like if we could get away to have, turn her barks into thermal energy, we could literally create electricity for all of Uganda. I mean, I'm sure of it. And listen, I'd be happy to send her to Uganda if that's what you'd like. I'm happy to do it. I was just going to sleep.

It was like, you know, midnight. I'm watching whatever I'm watching, eyes half masked. I'm in that moment. I'm in that zen. I'm going right to sleep until I hear, and I'm like, what is that? The bathroom door. And I'm like, what's that? What's that noise? So I get up and I'm, oh, there she is. She heard it. She's like, they're talking about me. So I was like, what is that noise? It's in the bathroom? And now I'm getting scared because

I'm thinking that there's like a squirrel. A rat or a squirrel. Yeah, a rat, a squirrel, a possum, something has got, even though it'd be next to impossible for somebody to get into my bathroom, I'm thinking to myself, I've seen stranger things happen. Maybe a squirrel came up through the drain or something. I don't know. Who knows? And so, now I'm making a bunch of fucking noise in the room and everybody's sleeping and I'm like, fuck, I'm going to wake everybody up, but I'm not going to take on the squirrel by myself.

Everybody's got to be prepared. If this squirrel gets out, I don't want them running up and biting my daughter in the neck, you know? So then keeps on scratching, keeps on scratching. And so just as I'm about to open the door, I've got a pillow because I'm going to knock it backwards. I'm going to hit it with the pillow and knock it backwards. Yes.

Then I'm going to slot, this is my whole plan. I grab the pillow, the only thing I know to grab, because of course there's a million things in my room, but the pillow seems to be the one thing that's going to kill the squirrel, right? It's like your shield. Yes, it is. It was my shield, like down around my ankles, because I could hear it at the bottom. So I go, I'm going to grab the door handle door handle I'm gonna open it as quickly as I can push the door back real fast with the pillow into the opening fling it

Yes, fling it and then I'm gonna close the door behind me I'm gonna turn on the lights and then we're gonna go mano-e-mano me and whatever's back there And I am scared fucking shitless because I'm like, I don't know what it's not a human that much I can determine But it's something small, probably the size of a small suitcase. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I see how your brain was working. The pillow was just shield. You were deflecting it and then you were going to deal with it. Yes. And then I'm going to run out. No, I'm going to deal with it. I've determined that I can't let my family be exposed to whatever this is. You were going to stay in

there with it and bite it. Well, or I was going to jump on the counter. One of the two things, jump on my bidet or whatever, jump on the toilet, whatever I was gonna do, it was gonna happen quickly. And so now I am like, adrenaline is full, it's 110%, I'm ready, and I'm like, I can hear it. And I'm like, okay, here we go. One, two, three. I swing open the door with the pillow like that

and I hear, ah! I swing open the door with the pillow like that and I hear, ahhhh! Blue goes sliding across the bathroom floor. It's fucking blue! I've been in bed for three hours! I didn't even imagine blue would be in there for, why was blue in my bathroom for three hours? What are you doing, taking a hot dump?

What's going on in there? So now I've come to realize that Blue, who is as crazy as a shithouse rat, has decided that sleeping in my closet on like we have two rows of hang, like two levels of hangers, you know? So one at the top and one at the bottom. She has taken to sleeping under the bottom row of clothing and she just stays there until she decides it's time to go somewhere else. And then she wakes up. Yeah, she wakes up and then she wakes everybody else up in the house by scratching those nails

across the hardwood floor against the door. And then she goes into my baby's room where she swings the door wide open so that all the light and all the noise comes in and she wakes her up every night without fail. This dog is God. What did I do? I must have like, I don't know, set an orphanage on fire or something. I don't know what happened. I think this is, I don't know. Makes you miss Nico, the ghost dog. That's right. I'm pretty sure, Nico the ghost dog was an angel compared to Blue. I know, a sweet little angel. An angel. She was, he was. Blue. A sweet little angel. An angel.

He was. He was such a little angel. My kids are still wondering when Niko is coming back and I have to remind them that dead means not coming back. But I will say this about Blue. She is available for sale currently, right now. $3.39 shipping and handling. I'll stick her in there with a postcard and a sticker. I'll sign blue and I'll send her off to you if you would like her. She is-

You can like loan her out. Like she's not ride share, but dog share. That's right. Like a blockbuster for dogs. Only I'm not going to penalize you if you don't bring her back on time. As a matter of fact, I'll pay you. It'll be my gift to you. Oh, Blue. Oh, Blue. You take up so much of my head space. Half the podcast is you barking or me talking about you barking.

I should call this the dog break, the Blue break, the commercial Blue. Thanks for showing up. I'll tell you what, total eclipse of my dick. That's gonna be the name of this episode. Sounds good. Actually, Christina, let's rethink that. We do have sponsors now. They may not want a total eclipse of the dick.

Our editor is so wonderful, Christina, our editor. Swing and Brian. Yeah, she's so wonderful But sometimes she gets a little too crazy on the titles. I have to pull it back a little bit I'm like, well, I'm not sure Disney's gonna go for that one total eclipse of the dick She is we love her thanks Christina don't name this total eclipse of the dick Total eclipse of the day. Total eclipse of the D. How's that?

That's a spec. All right. So listen, we want to have you on the show. We're so excited. We've got a number of listeners already lined up to come on the show over the next couple of weeks. We'd like you to be a part of the action. All you got to do is text us and let us know what you want to talk about.

You want to ask a question, ask our advice, talk to Brian's mom. My mom will be on the show, I think this week. I think tomorrow All you got to do is text us 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 TCB 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 8 2 2 Text us give us a little rundown on what you'd like to discuss and then Someone will set it up for you the time in the place the wins and the wares the wheres, the who's and the what'ss, you know how it goes, Chrissy. I do. So do that, because we'd love to talk to you.

And then you can also leave us questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, all on the same phone number, voicemail or text, we accept them all. Please do get in contact with us. You can go to the website, hit the contact us button, like apparently a lot of you have been doing, and write us an email. We'd love to hear from you. you can also get your free sticker your free TCB

sticker not sure which one it is right now so I'm not gonna say it out loud because Aster doesn't want me to until she has them in her hand but hit the drop-down menu I want my free sticker give us your address we'll send it off that's how it works at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Oh, I should probably tell you that tcbpodcast.com is the website address. So there you go.

All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Remember to cover your eyes when you're staring at the sun. We always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. I'm going to go jail and eat this one!