The Commercial Break - Trust Paris & Patty!

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Thank you to our listeners ...

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Starting point is 00:00:52 Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Being a slut sounds so fun. You go sluts. I have every ambition of a slut with none of the follow-through Whenever it gets hot and heavy I go well, I could just sleep. I love to sleep I'm a sleepy slut. My pillow doesn't have bad breath. My blanket doesn't have daddy issues
Starting point is 00:01:17 My sheets aren't going to try to choke me But being a slut sounds fun. Going into town, tearing everything up, walking away in slow motion while the city explodes and my garage is on fire. But I'm too tired. Does anybody want to have a sexy nap? Sexy nap? Ooh. On this episode of The Commercial Break.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Out of some nobility, like Brian has some man nobility, right? I go, it's time to get Chrissy to safety. And I go from Clark Kent into Superman and I'm like, I must get her to high ground before the tide sets in, the tide of y commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, Captain Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this wonderful show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hey, speaking of podcast universe, I just wanted to shout out to a couple of our listeners who have been writing in diligently, like homework. Homework, we've assigned them and they've responded accordingly. Most of the class is failing, but there are a few of you.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Ask kissers out there, teachers pets, if you will, that are dialing in and I love it. I love to see it. I woke up the other morning and I saw a slew of text messages and I was like, oh, what did I say now? So we have this phone. After years of complicated machinery, software, installing phone lines into the floor, I thought,
Starting point is 00:02:59 well, there's a newfangled thing called a cell phone. I should probably get one of those. Like who doesn't have a burner phone? It's 2024, right? So I got a burner phone for the studio. Very nice burner phone by the way. Yeah, am I going to have to sell this actually? Pay for a new microphone.
Starting point is 00:03:13 So I got this burner phone. 212-433-3TCB goes right to this phone. And then one of us will check it. One of us here at the studio, there's other people to check the text messages too. That work with the show. Don't worry, your information's not going anywhere. Crazy. But the other morning I walked in just to fiddle around. It was the weekend and I, you know, how you press your phone to see if you have any messages. And then I saw all these messages and I was like, oh
Starting point is 00:03:40 shit, what did I say? That's what stresses me out. Mondays and this phone. Because there are a few people who are not afraid to call us out and have done so on a number of occasions. So, but I- And we welcome that. Yeah, sure, I'll talk about it as long as it's not. As long as it's not making me look bad, I'll talk about it. It makes the show look bad.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Ah, whatever, who cares? But as my wife points out, the show is you partly, Brian. You know that? Did you realize that? I said, Hey, listen, I'm not splitting hairs with you, babe. All right. So I want to shout out to our good friend, Caden. Caden has been writing in for the last couple of weeks. Sounds really like a nice guy. And Caden had lots of nice things to say to the show. I just want to read, if you don't mind, one of the text messages he sent. Go right ahead. Uh, he said, I know I'm just one of tens of listeners that you guys have. I love you and Chrissy's camaraderie so much. I love the Mountain Monster episodes.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Honestly, it's a toss up between Frankie and Mountain Monsters, but I have family that are a thousand percent bumpkin, so I can relate too. Since you guys have done Mountain Monster episodes, I've had friends over and we listen to you guys and we rave about the Chuck, Buck, Huck and Fuck episodes. One of the times recently we actually had a Mountain Monsters watching party and we drank 40 to 50 beers listening to you guys. I'm not even kidding. I really wanna see you guys succeed in the podcast ethos
Starting point is 00:05:03 and looking forward to how much you grow much love Caden much love To you Caden. That's all I gotta say and listen. We're also rooting for ourselves in the podcast ethos We're also hoping we see some success We know it's only taken five more years and we're gonna get there. I'm sure of it We also have bumpkin relatives somewhere down the line. We absolutely do Say hello to our good friend Darren who was recently listening to the Scuzzy Guy episode. Hey Darren. Please tell Brian and Chrissy that the Scuzzy Guy special episode is comedy gold.
Starting point is 00:05:34 I've enjoyed the interview episodes, but listening to Brian tell a long story is always a perfect episode. Was that the Chuck? Is that the Chuck? Yuckles? Yeah, that is the yuckles. I think that was the first episode that we did of that guy. What was his name? Yaz or Yan or whatever, Zan or whatever his name is. The guy that's like super down on his
Starting point is 00:05:54 luck. Actually, I feel like when I look at Yan or Zan or whatever his name is, I feel like I'm seeing me five years from now, up on some podcast conference stage. It seeing me five years from now, about some podcast conference stage. It took me five years to make this podcast. Now I'm giving it away for free. We want to say hi to our good friend, Brayden, who listens with his girlfriend, Allison. Allison loves you guys. We've been so confused at how many children you have. So are we. Yeah. So somebody here wrote back, they said, first, thanks so much for listening to the show and thank you for the kind words. The number of children Brian has is a closely guarded TCB secret, but it's safe to say he has more than one, less than five, obviously
Starting point is 00:06:39 not 23, 16 or 11. So I'll address this right now. And then he also says that our YouTube channel is a little confusing. So let me address both. To which I completely agree. Completely agree. So YouTube, let me address the first one. Let me address the last one first. So YouTube recently, they invited us like a lot of other podcasts, they invited us as a noted podcast. I mean, we noted that we were a podcast. They invited us to import our RSS feed, just like you would listen to us on any other podcast channel, like Apple or Spotify, Google, which is going away or, you know, Castbox, Podbean, whatever. There's so many of them out there. Just like you would listen on any of those players, YouTube is now allowing you to just import your show,
Starting point is 00:07:25 just like we do on every other player, to YouTube. But what that does is it creates its own video with a static image, and then you listen to it. And what's happening is those videos are getting mixed up with the actual videos, the videos that we record here in the studio with cameras. That's what's going on. So now it just looks like a big mishmash and it's hard to tell which videos are videos and which videos are audio. So what I did was I turned off the RSS feed just to de-confuse it
Starting point is 00:07:53 because he's not the first person to say something about this. And my wife actually has said something about this too, Astrid, who is like quite frankly, 75% of why the show even gets on air at all. And she was also very confused by it. I don't understand why are you doing this? It looks ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:08:11 And I was like, OK, so we had a big tit for tat. Why is YouTube doing that? Because I get it that maybe a lot of people listen through YouTube. But don't you just automatically think video, you know, moving video? You do. but what was happening previously to during the pandemic, shows like ours would come on and then we would start uploading our audio. We would make a video out of the audio.
Starting point is 00:08:37 You just put an image, right? Say our cover photo, we just put an image and then you upload a file with the audio in it. And that's how millions and millions and millions of people were getting podcasts where they were listening through YouTube. Some people think YouTube is like the second or third largest podcast player out there, just the audio.
Starting point is 00:08:54 So YouTube in an effort to invite the podcast world onto YouTube said, let's make it easy for you. You don't have to do anything. Just import your RSS feed as soon as you release an episode, we'll update it, blah, diddy, blah, diddy, blah. It's very fucking confusing. And I love YouTube, but that is not, I don't wanna do that because I want people to see us
Starting point is 00:09:14 in all our glory, our beautiful faces, our faces for radio with you, Chrissy. I think I might like the RSS. I know you do. Chrissy would rather us do this show in the dark actually. And I know why, because of me. She's like, I don't want to be associated with that guy. So wait, listen, I turned off the RSS feed
Starting point is 00:09:34 and we'll figure out a way to fix it. We'll figure out some, we'll tape it together like we do everything else. Get the electrical tape. We'll get some super glue and we'll fix it. But for right now, you don't have to worry about it because it's off. So that's first. Secondly, yes, I have a lot of children.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Yes, I'm constantly making a joke. It started off as a joke and now it continues to go. And so let's just keep rolling with it. Why not? There also is all, there is a little bit of me that gets a bit concerned about overzealous listeners, if you don't mind. You know, people like, you'll be driving down the street and you'll see a bumper sticker on the back and it'll be like stick figures. Yes, the family. The family. Yeah. And then some of me put the names
Starting point is 00:10:18 below and I'm like, what in the fuck are you doing? Like your information is already not out there in the world enough. Now you're publicly and showing people how many children you have, what ages they are, and their names. It's kind of silly to me. I mean, I guess maybe there's a point to it. I don't know what that point is, but it's kind of silly to me.
Starting point is 00:10:37 And so at first it was kind of like, well, I don't want to broadcast about my children. I made that decision a long time ago. Like that's their life. I don't need to be sharing their names and their information and all that stuff. But now it's just so fucking funny watching everybody guess. This is not the first time we've had this question. We've had it a lot, actually. So just know, my 12 to 22 children are doing just fine. And soon I will let you know exactly how many children I have. The
Starting point is 00:11:01 last episode of the commercial break. As they start 18. Yeah. When they turn 27. I'll let you know how many of them I have. The last episode of the commercial break. When they turn 27. I'll let you know how many of them I have. So stay tuned. That's 1,622,000 more episodes of the commercial break. You asked for it, you got it. So there's so many more wonderful listeners that I want to shout out. I don't have time for all of them. I had someone that mentioned they also love Walmart sweatpants. Oh, right. You remember we were talking about that?
Starting point is 00:11:34 Very, very comfortable ones. Yeah. All right. So Jessica says, hey, Brian, since you shared about your ultra comfortable sweatpants from Walmart, I'll share with you the secret of their leggings. They're ridiculously soft and comfy, and they're seven, between $8 and $13. They have solids and patterns. Not sure if they have them for men, but trust me, you need to get asked to pair these today. Chrissy, Tina, and Brian's mom will all want some too.
Starting point is 00:11:59 I'm not sponsored by Walmart. A pic's of the couple of the patterns, the best of leggings. That's Jessica. She sent those in. Some interesting patterns. Oh, I like Jessica. She sent those in some interesting patterns. Oh, I like that. She sent me a picture. She's got some space stuff, some tie dye.
Starting point is 00:12:11 I need some new leggings, leggings. Leggings? What are we all gonna twang today? We're all gonna twang. What happened? It's like our Southern accents all of a sudden just fell on the show. The bumpkin just came out.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Well, I'm almost so broke, I'm about to start putting Southern accents all of a sudden just fell on the show. The bumpkin just came out. Well, I'm almost so broke, I'm about to start putting old cars in my front lawn and selling off the spare parts. It's a true story. A true story. I'm out back wondering what I could sell. I'm like, well, there's blue. She's not gonna sell.
Starting point is 00:12:44 There's a lot of kids. I recently heard about some lady trying to, did you hear this story about the lady outside of a CVS trying to sell her kid for $500? Oh my God. Yes. And then there was another story. I mean, these are terrible stories, right? Luckily the kid was taken by, uh, I don't know, say luckily, but taken by defects.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Everything turned out okay. The kid did not get kidnapped or sold, but because the person who she offered to sell the kid to obviously went straight in and was like, that lady's trying to sell a child out there. Some other dude offered $100,000 for some lady's kid at a Walmart or something. I'm telling you, that Walmart, their pants may be comfy, but I don't know what's going on in that parking lot. Walmart. Go ahead, sell your kids here. Walmart. We have delivery.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Your groceries will be there soon. We promise. Let me tell you about Walmart grocery delivery. One time we had a grocery, this is over the pandemic. One time we had a grocery delivery. This is not targeted at Walmart. This is targeted at this specific human being. So we order Walmart groceries, right?
Starting point is 00:13:51 Like a lot of people did, all ordering groceries. No one went to the grocery store for a minute there. So we order groceries, non-contact, leave it out in the driveway while it's raining. Please make a circle 15 feet around the groceries with Lysol, you know what I'm saying? We were all spraying down our groceries. Yes, I'm probably gonna die of some chemical related cancer
Starting point is 00:14:12 from all that shit I was putting all over my body. But anyway, so we do this, non-contact delivery the whole nine yards. So we're waiting and we're waiting and we're waiting. It's supposed to be here by five, let's say five o'clock. It's getting up on nine o'clock. It's dark outside, you know, Walmart closes at 11, so we were like, wow, when are the groceries coming? We hope they come today because we were really hungry. So finally they come,
Starting point is 00:14:33 like 10 o'clock at night. It has been raining all day long, Chrissy, raining all day long. The person, I didn't see if it was a guy or a girl, comes up, drops the groceries off as prescribed, then gets in their car, then does not one, not two, but three 360 degree drives through my grass in order to get the proper position to get out onto the road. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. I was so pissed. First of all, I don't have grass.
Starting point is 00:15:07 So you're ruining what little grass I have. Second of all, anytime it rains, just a mud pit back there. Third of all, I really don't care if you got to make yourself, if you, I'd rather you be safe than me have grass, right? So it's a very busy road I live on. So if you got to be safe, you got to turn yourself forward. So you don't have to back out on the busy road. I get that part, but you could have done that in the first circle.
Starting point is 00:15:26 You didn't need the second in the third circle. Mother fucker. I was on that phone with that Walmart lickety fucking split. You know what they did? Not a fucking thing. Right. Well, you were at the mercy of just having somebody to make a delivery. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Listen, I just told them, I said, Hey, you know, I understand the guy wants to, a guy or girl wants to be safe, but could you please next time, could you put a note on our account? Please don't drive three times through the grass. I mean, literally the guy was doing 360s in my grass. And I thought for a second, I thought, oh, here we go. I'm a part of some, one of these crazy videos. You know, I actually have a video of it because I was like, okay, here we go. I'm going to be one.
Starting point is 00:16:01 I'm going viral. I'm going viral. And no, I didn't go viral. I don't even think I posted it. But anyway, I'm going viral. I'm going viral. Nope, I didn't go viral. I don't even think I posted it. So she says these leggings are more comfortable than even the sweatpants, which I find hard to believe because those sweatpants have now been washed at least three times. And I'm telling you what, they're still maintained. They're maintained. They are maintained. Now they got some spots and stains because I bought the white pants, of course,
Starting point is 00:16:27 and I'm a dumb ass. I spill everything all over myself. I have this coffee cup, like this lovely commercial break coffee cup, the Tumblr, right? Oh, I love those. Yo, they're so good. They are, I use them every day.
Starting point is 00:16:38 And they keep everything cold, me too. I go nowhere without my commercial break Tumblr. And by the way, I've never been asked once what the commercial break is. Never not once. Oh my God, I almost spilt out my water. So I got that commercial break tumbler and what I do is, you know, if the coffee,
Starting point is 00:17:00 I like a lot of cream in my coffee. So if it sits there for a couple minutes, you gotta shake it up, just to make sure that you don't get any like weird clumpy cream on the top of it, right? And so I shake it up, but there's always just a little bit of coffee left on the lid, you know what I'm saying? So if you walk anywhere in my house or look on any
Starting point is 00:17:15 of my clothing, there's just little tiny little coffee spots everywhere because I shake that damn thing so hard, the coffee goes flying everywhere, but it's not a lot of coffee, so I really don't notice it. So the other day I'm walking around, I'm cleaning the house, and I go down the hallway and I just notice splash pattern after splash pattern after splash pattern. Not really visible unless you're looking hard for it, but I was looking hard for it. And I was like, oh my God, Brian, this is five years of you just splashing coffee all
Starting point is 00:17:40 over the fucking wall. Meanwhile, the kids have left no marks. No, I yell at the kids anytime they look at the walls. I'm like, ah, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. I got a daughter and she's one of those. She has not met a mess that she doesn't like. She has not met a mess that she can't make messier.
Starting point is 00:17:59 You know what I'm saying? That's just her style. She just loved, she will literally take a napkin, wipe her mouth off, and then throw it on the floor in the middle of the house. And I'm like, young lady, is that where the trash goes? And this is a response. Yes. I'm like, oh, okay. All right. Then good luck getting him to clean up anything. Why, yes, it is. Thanks for asking, dad. You can now pick it up if you like to. That's where I put it. If you need it somewhere else, then you do it. Her perspective is everything.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And I love it. I love it. I love that she's so independent. She has such a fighting spirit. Yeah, so anyways, I have to go around the house with that Mr. Magic fucking eraser thing, just scraping up my own coffee and shit like that. How does that thing work?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Because it really does work. I'll tell you how it works. Would you like to know how it works? I would love to know. It is extremely fine sandpaper. Okay, that makes sense. So what it does is it doesn't really clean, more as it does take off the very top of the paint.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Like, you know, hundreds of millimeters. Well, I noticed that it does come off. But I still, I was like, how does it just do that? It just works. It just does. It's like very fine sandpaper. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, and so when you scrape it on a wall
Starting point is 00:19:10 or something that's got paint, it doesn't take off all the paint, it just takes off just like a millionth of a millimeter of that paint, but enough of it to make the stain go away. This is Mr. Wizard's World with Brian. Yes it is. Let's go out to the yard and explode something. Hey, listen. No, because I had a friend that got charged for that.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I know. I'm kidding. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that that cured our woes. But he was also trying to like destroy a piece of heavy equipment. When you're trying to like, you know, bomb something, when you're actually trying to bomb something, that's a different story. Okay, so what I'd like to do right now, Chrissy, is I'd like to take a break and when we come back, do I have a story for you? Oh, okay. Straight from the headlines. I can't wait to discuss it because it's something I've been wondering about for a very, very long time. And finally, we have
Starting point is 00:20:04 some people making sense at the top. And finally, we have some people making sense at the top. Somebody out there in the world is making sense. Finally. And I'd like to discuss this with you when we get back. Let's do it. We'll be back. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at Tcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number.
Starting point is 00:20:33 I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. Think of the last time you bought something to wear, something to decorate your house, something for your family or friends. What if each time you made a purchase, you got a little something back? With Rakuten, you can. You can earn cash back on just about anything you buy from over 750 stores. If you've ever bought electronics, home decor, fashion and beauty, or booked a trip, well, you could have got cash back. But don't worry, it's not too late. It's
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Starting point is 00:22:03 I'm Dina, I'm a child therapist and mom of two who nerds out on all things neurobiology and psychology, and Kristen is a parent coach who wrangles three kids on a daily basis, here to give it to us like it is. We weren't meant to do this parenting thing alone. Consider after bedtime your village. Follow After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. bedtime with big little feelings on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. What day of the week do you look forward to most? Well, it should be Wednesday. Ahem. Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Why, you wonder? Whopper Wednesday, of course. When you can get a great deal on a whopper. Flame grilled and made your way. And you won't want to miss it. So make every HWENSday a HWOPER HWENSday, only at Burger King, where you rule. All right. Ever since I heard this story in 1995, four or five, let me back up a little bit. It's going to be one of those Brian stories.
Starting point is 00:23:05 So get your cup of coffee, kids. Don't shake it though, don't shake it, because it's just gonna get you, you're gonna have that magic eraser for two days. So there's helicopters flying over the house. I know, and we think we just heard gunshots. We thought we just heard gunshots. Not in this neighborhood!
Starting point is 00:23:20 I better go check on Blue. Maybe Blue is just like, Arima! That dog is fucking crazy. I'm gonna go check on Blue. Maybe Blue is like, ARIMA! That dog is fucking crazy. I'll tell you that story in a different episode. Remind me to tell you about the St. By the way, Happy Bladed St. Patrick's Day. Remind me to tell you the story about the St. Patrick's Day party
Starting point is 00:23:36 we had here for birthdays. Birthday slash St. Patrick's Day party. Don't worry, you weren't invited. You wouldn't have liked it anyway. So, there you go. All right. I was speaking about St. Patrick's Day. I was, you know, musing on the years of celebrating St. Patrick's Day, over the years, you know, and as a kid, it's fun and, you know, you're pinching people if they're not wearing green.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Yeah. The people with the green eyes are just automatically grandfathered into that. They just, they win. They're Irish. Yeah. And so, or they just had green eyes. But I was thinking of all the different parties. I mean, you and I attended that one when we were at the radio station. So huge, huge party blowout. Everybody, I mean, it was crazy. I can't even begin to explain how fucking insane this party was I have pictures and I don't think one time both of my
Starting point is 00:24:33 eyes were looking in the same direction I'm being dead serious about this I remember getting there early because it was my client that was sponsored yingling yingling and yeah and I mean that's about what I remember is getting there. And then the rest of it's a blur. It was absolute insanity. So I'll tell a little bit of this story. So I think the year was, let me say it's 2009, 2008, no, 2008. Yeah, seven or eight.
Starting point is 00:24:59 And Yingling, the beer company, the great beer company from up in the Northeast, Boston, right? Are they from Massachusetts or Maine? Yeah. Somewhere. Okay, they're somewhere up in there. It's not Maine. It's not Maine? Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:12 In the eastern half of the United States, Ying Ling has a brewery. Yeah. Okay. So, Ying Ling has a brewery and they are going to bring their beer down to Atlanta for the very first time in their 125 year history. Whatever. Everyone was pumped about this because everyone who had ever been to the Northeast and had a Yingling
Starting point is 00:25:33 fell in love with Yingling. Right, it is a good beer. Yeah, it is a good beer. So the moratorium has been lifted, Yingling decides. And I get the client. And she gets the client on behalf of the radio station. And their first big splash into the Atlanta is going to be sponsoring well north of Atlanta. We're talking 40 miles north of Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:25:52 They're going to be sponsoring a St. Patrick's Day party that spans three different parking lots. Yeah, it was huge. And a huge bar. And they have, it's raining, so there are tents everywhere. It's cold, so they have heaters out there. I mean, these guys did it up right. This is a big fucking party. Yeah, it was a big deal. We knew this was going to be the party of the century. How did we know that? We rented hotel rooms. Oh, we did. In one of the, one of the parking lots that they used was a hotel parking lot, part of a hotel parking lot And we rented room a room in that parking lot I'll never forget. Yeah, we get there at whatever time we go throw our bags into the hotel check in into the hotel room walk on over
Starting point is 00:26:42 We walk on over we get in one of those tents and instantaneously it's shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, beer, beer, beer, shot, shot, shot. Not the regular size beers. Those beers that are like, you know, the yard beers, they're making yard yinglings. Okay. We're shooting whiskey, like Irish whiskey. We're shooting whiskey. They have three different bands playing at the same time.
Starting point is 00:27:04 They were shooting Irish whiskey. We're shooting whiskey. They have three different bands playing at the same time. They were shooting Irish whiskey. Who does that? No one. That is a recipe for puke apocalypse. I mean, that is just gross. We probably have no food because the only thing we ever put in our bellies was beer until after three in the morning. And they have three different bands playing in three different little areas, okay? So there are other people at the radio station that are there also, and we're all having a good time and laughing it up and yucking it up and listening to the music. And there's one guy that's playing in this one particular tent, like the least populated
Starting point is 00:27:37 tent has one guy in the corner playing, but I know the guy, right? And I'm like, oh, I know that guy. I know that dude. He's an old buddy of mine. You know, let me go up there and I'll tell him to sing some song. This guy put on a string of terribly depressing music. I mean, he just went on. It was like, nothing compares to you into, I don't know, into old Smokey Robinson sad songs, into country music. I mean, this guy was depressing the entire place. We were like, Jesus Christ. Hence, the least populated attempt.
Starting point is 00:28:10 But luckily, one of the people I was with knew exactly the cure for this, and that was to throw up directly. They had like these tables, like these bar tables, these, you know, rent a bar table. Yeah. Those, you know, the ones that kind of go up to your chest. And this guy had just been drinking like we had, but as this music is playing, I'll never forget what he says to me. He looks at me. We're all standing around this table. There's like three or four of us. He looks at me and he goes, this is fucking depressing. And I was like, what? And he goes, fucking music. It's making me cry. Ah! You've seen the videos.
Starting point is 00:28:49 You've all seen the videos on YouTube of the guys are just sitting there and then all of a sudden the puke just starts rolling out their mouth and they're just trying to wipe it off like nothing happened. Oh God. This puke just goes right across the table down onto the floor without a bit of irony,
Starting point is 00:29:03 without a bit of irony. This guy says, I need a glass of water, I'll be right back. And we're all left there with depressing music and puke on the table. It was gross. This party just got crazier and crazier. And it ended in a hotel room, where the ultimate craziness happened. Now, let me explain. We're with a good friend of ours, a rather popular radio disc jockey that was here, a lovely woman. And I won't mention names because I don't know that she wants this story out there. Yeah, no. But I'm just going to share part of this story, by the way. And so, so it's probably two or three in the morning. And I think the party probably goes till four,
Starting point is 00:29:43 I'm going to say, probably wrapping up at three thirty or four, something like that. It's getting late and there are still plenty of people there and everyone is just as drunk as they can be. That he wasn't the first person to puke at that party and he certainly wasn't the last. Oh yeah, there were multiple. And the later it got, the crazier it got. Like the bartenders are now drunk, the waitresses stopped coming around, you know, now they're drinking with everybody. It's all debauchery. It's like society just fell apart inside of this, right? It's being held together by some fabric of trust that no one's going to murder
Starting point is 00:30:13 anybody else. By tents. Yeah. In these huge tents. We're all just trusting. I think the bartenders are trusting someone's going to pay their tab. I think the waitresses are trusting they'll still have a job in the morning. And I'm trusting that it's just going to take me at 15 yards to the hotel. That's all I got to do. Oh, I guarantee that next day there had to be pulling T of people that had to come back for their credit card.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Oh yeah. I mean, if you're a bartender, you know, if you know, you know, right? There's, you oftentimes have many credit cards at the end of the night. You just know they're coming back tomorrow. Right? So at some point I look over and I see Chrissy and she is like, she's got her head is almost on one of these bar tables. It's just swaying back and forth. And I'm like, out of some nobility, like Brian has some man nobility, right? I go, it's time to get Chrissy to safety. I go from Clark Kent into Superman and I'm like, I must get her to high ground before the tide sets in, the tide of yingling and whiskey. So I grabbed Chrissy and I'm like, hey, you gotta go back to the hotel. I'm taking you over there. And you said to me, I think I'm going
Starting point is 00:31:25 to go home. And I was like, home, where are you going to go? How are you going to get there? I'll drive. You'll drive my ass. So I walked Chrissy across the parking lot, you know, and I go upstairs, I opened the door and I literally, literally drop her on the bed. I'm like, drop her on the bed face first, fully clothed shoes on. Oh yeah. There were two queen beds and guy deposited me on one. But I was like, the party's not over yet. I can still hear them. I can still hear them talking to them. Are you okay? Are you okay? That's what I said. Are you okay? You didn't respond and I was like, ah, she's fine. Drive on. I go back to the party and we wrapped it up. And Chrissy, when I got back to the hotel room with our friend who was coming into the
Starting point is 00:32:12 hotel room with us, when the two of us got back in there, we were literally like putting our hand in front of your face to see if you were still breathing. We were concerned because you hadn't moved not one single hair. You had not moved. You were done for. You were toasted. You were fried. you hadn't moved, not one single hair. You had not moved. You were done for. You were toasted. You were fried. It was unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I mean, we've seen each other in a lot of states of disarray, but this was one of the ones where I got concerned. I was like, oh, did she drink too much? She's gonna be hurting in the morning. And I was. And you were hurting in the morning. But didn't we all go out to breakfast the next morning?
Starting point is 00:32:44 I feel like we did. We had to check out and go get our credit cards. I know. That parking lot was crazy. I just, oh, wow. But so really back to the whole, the years of St. Patrick's Day. So that's, you know, one thing that was craziness,
Starting point is 00:33:00 that might've been the height of the crazy St. Patrick's Day parties I've ever been to. Oh yeah, for me for sure. I've been down to the Savannah one and some different ones around Atlanta. But yeah, that one was really crazy. But as of now, I just didn't do anything. But I were like, cheers. We took our baby to the hospital at St. Patrick's.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah, we didn't take Chrissy to the hospital. We took the baby to the hospital. Oh no, oh. Yeah, we didn't take Chrissy to the hospital. We took the baby to the hospital. I'll tell that story in a different show, but it's too long to tell right now. But yeah, I have been to Savannah on a number of occasions for St. Paddy's Day. I remember the first time I went to Savannah for St. Paddy's Day, I feel like I had just turned 21 or maybe I was 20 or 21. Yeah. And I was kind of- Laurenie Kroft It's definitely like a spring break kind of thing. Well, it's around spring break too.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Jared Slauson I remember feeling scared, like, scared of going to Savannah's St. Patrick's Day because of how crazy I had heard it could get, right? People could push, fight, stuff like that. Laurenie Kroft Because they used to do the green, or they do the greening of the fountains now. They have a ton of fountains and these squares in Savannah, but they used to turn the river green. Jared Sussman They do that in Chicago and Boston and all. They used to do that. I think they do that in the Savannah? Beth Dombkowski I think they stopped for environmental reasons, but... Jared Sussman
Starting point is 00:34:15 Well, they still do it in, they do it in London. I saw pictures of it being done in London. Beth Dombkowski Oh, okay. Jared Sussman And then maybe they still do it in Chicago. If they don't do it in Chicago, that's a damn shame. But you're right. I mean, pouring all that dye into a river can't be good for them. Yeah. No. It can't be good for the fishes. They can't see anything, right? They have to see something? I mean, I don't know what a fish does, but
Starting point is 00:34:32 doesn't a fish have to do something with his eyeballs? I guess? I don't know. They help. The eyeballs help. One day a year, they're just really confused fish. But when I went to Savannah the first time, it lived up to the expectation that I had of it. It was absolute debauchery. I mean debauchery. It was at a time when Girls Gone Wild was the most popular DVD out there and there were
Starting point is 00:34:57 so many tits, so many guys making a fool of themselves, so many people throwing up, so much drinking. I mean, just like honestly, like just crazy drinking. The second time I went there, I got brave and I took LSD on St. Patrick's Day. That is one way to do it. And let me tell you, it's not the right way to do it because I did not last long down in Savannah. I actually curled up in a ball in an alley, about half a mile away from the most, you know, the most populous part of this party. I literally found my way to an alley and I hid there until I knew it was safe to return
Starting point is 00:35:36 back to the hotel. It was insane. It was insane. But now as an adult, it's like New Year's Eve. It's like a lot of Halloween. I was never really into Halloween anyway, but in New Year's Eve, I like New Year's Eve, but I never wanted to go pay $900 to be at a hotel party, do you know what I'm saying? And so, I feel like St. Patrick's Day has lost its luster just a little bit. For me, certainly, but I feel like it's lost its luster in general, just a little bit. Yeah, I agree. I haven't, or maybe I'm just not tuned into it anymore, but I used to see way more celebrations and parties and things going on. Yeah, but it's also on a Sunday this year, so that's kind of, but I'll tell you what,
Starting point is 00:36:18 I went down through one of the local squares, you know, the little townships that are around here, the little cities that are around here. Were people partying? They were partying. Okay. Yeah, they were partying. Still alive and well then? Not like some of it, still alive and well.
Starting point is 00:36:31 There was a lot of families, so it didn't look like that kind of craziness. But then I look on Instagram and I see the regular posts, who is it? Flogging Molly, the Flogging Molly's, or who's the other big Irish band? You too? I lost my leg when I lost my leg! Well, I lost my leg! I should know this as an Irish person, but I have no idea. Yes, you too is the other Irish band that I can think of. Sinead O'Connor! There you go.
Starting point is 00:36:57 But she just passed away. But you know, listen, as you get older, I think you start to realize that oftentimes the things you think are going to be the most fun turn out to be the least fun, and it's really the nights that come out of nowhere that are the most fun. That's true. Yes. That really is true. So like now in my life when a new episode of Love is Blind drops on a day I'm not expecting, I'm like, fuck yeah! Got my fee! his blind drops on a day I'm not expecting. I'm like, fuck yeah. Come on babe, get in bed. Join the other 10 kids that are already here and let's listen quietly. We'll watch love is blind with the closed captions on.
Starting point is 00:37:55 I know it's true. I come home. I tend to think like, okay, been there, done that. Oh yeah. Leave it to the young kids. Yeah, exactly. Leave it to the 21 year olds. Let them discover. Yes, absolutely. I don't have that much piss and vinegar. That you don't feel good in the morning. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:11 And the way that, you know, I hate to say this, but I just got to be honest. Crowds for me right now are kind of a big no-no unless I know everybody's going through security, right? Because it just makes me a little bit nervous. There's so much bullshit that goes on these days. You know, you can't go anywhere without, you know, some moron taking out a gun and popping off. But, um, which might've just been what happened down the street. Yeah, it might've just, I don't know, but apparently the helicopter flying around my house. Maybe they're coming for me. I don't know. Who knows? Put the commercial break down and walk outside with your hands up and your microphones off.
Starting point is 00:38:52 We've had enough. We've had many complaints. We've had many complaints. You're under arrest for disturbing all peace. You're under arrest for disturbing any chance of peace. Can you please go back down to one episode a week? Put the microphone down and go back to one episode a week. Where's the fun in that?
Starting point is 00:39:22 Where is the fun in that? So I didn't even get to telling my story that I wanted to tell. I know, I'm sorry. But that's the way the commercial break works. Where is the fun in that? So I didn't even get to telling my story that I wanted to tell. I know, I'm sorry. But that's the way the commercial break works. No, no, no, I'm glad we addressed it. I derailed those. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:39:32 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But I do want to talk about what I have to talk about. Okay. Because I've got some important things to say about this. I think the world is changing for the better and I'd like to share it with the rest of
Starting point is 00:39:48 our audience. Okay. With the other three people that are listening to the commercial break right now. But let's do that after this. Take a break and we'll be back. Well thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB,
Starting point is 00:40:10 and you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail, and we might just use your message on the show, once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. All right. You ready for me, my little story? I am ready. All right. Just laughing at something going on in the studio. Don't mind us. We're just being a bunch of idiots. All right. So let's back up to the year 1990, if you will, Chrissy.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Okay. I'm a young buck. I'm just starting my life here in Atlanta. I'm picturing you as a horse. Or a dinosaur with short arms. Caliphing free around Atlanta. And I'm in the car and it's probably nine, no, it's got to be earlier than that. So maybe eight o'clock in the morning, 730 in the morning, and like almost everybody else in Atlanta, we are tuned in to
Starting point is 00:41:30 the International Olympic Committee's announcement of who will be hosting the 1996 Summer Olympic Games. And to almost nobody's surprise, but it was nice to hear it anyway, Atlanta. You'll never forget these words if you lived in Atlanta during that time. And the window is the city of Atlanta. Woo! And everybody, we were in traffic and all the horns start honking
Starting point is 00:42:00 and people are pumping their fists out the window. I think I was in school. I was on my way to school, I know that much, because I was in my dad's car and my dad was like, oh wow, that's really exciting, that's going to be a big deal for the city, right? And we'll get some tickets to go, we'll find a way to go to some of these events. And I'm like, six years from now, shit, I mean, yeah, that's a lifetime, that's like half my life at that point, right? But I was excited nonetheless, because I felt like this was going to be a great thing in general.
Starting point is 00:42:25 I didn't know why, but I knew it. But then as we got closer to the Olympics, I learned about something that I thought was rather strange. And that is, you know, they build these Olympic villages. Anytime that someone gets a bid for the Olympics, one of the things that they do is they build massive infrastructure projects to support that. All the events. All the events, those games that one or two weeks in the summer or in the winter when those things are going to happen.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Here in Atlanta, we built stadiums, we built swimming pools, we built aquatic centers, we built equestrian centers. We built hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of apartments in downtown Atlanta, referred to as the Olympic Village that are now Georgia Tech dorms. And, you know, all this construction, like the city was just growing right in front of your eyes. And it has never stopped, by the way. It hasn't. If anything, it's gotten faster. The pace has gotten faster. The buildings are getting
Starting point is 00:43:23 taller. It's getting more dense. But anyway, faster. The buildings are getting taller. They're getting it's getting more dense But anyway what I heard really surprised me and I heard this when I was in the car with our friend Paul You're still at the age where you're scared of pussy the guy that I was painting for right? It was gonna get me a job at the Olympics selling t-shirts that change colors when you got water on them We sold zero t-shirts But you did hook up with two models. I did hook up with two models. That's right. For a few minutes until they kicked me out of bed.
Starting point is 00:43:52 So what I heard on the radio was controversial in my mind. And that was there was no sex allowed inside the Olympic Village. Oh, I forgot about that. None. It was a rule. You, I forgot about that. None. It was a rule. You could not have sex with other athletes. You could not have sex at all. If you were an athlete staying inside the Olympic Village, you were not allowed, it
Starting point is 00:44:14 was non-permissible for you to have relations with anyone inside of that Olympic Village. And the thought, prevailing thought, I think was number one, there's this kind of weird notion that's out there, maybe it's true, maybe it's not, that you hold your shot, you compete better, right? And make of that what you will. And then there was this other fear that STDs were going to run around the Olympic Village. Now, my thought was you're asking a bunch of, really, kids in their prime, some of them in their sexual prime, to not have sex. This is like the best thing that'll ever happen to them. You got to have a little icing on the cake. You're about to meet other very fit people who understand what you've gone through, you know, nonstop practicing and all this other stuff. This has got to be like a big party for you. gone through, you know, nonstop practicing and all this other stuff.
Starting point is 00:45:05 This has got to be like a big party for you. I mean, show up ready for game time, but party your ass off the rest of it. It's supposed to be a big party, especially for the people who are making it interesting for the rest of us. Yeah. And so, it really surprised me to hear that this was a rule. And now it's been a rule ever since. And only last Olympics did they start dispersing some condoms outside the Olympic Village, knowing that this was going to happen anyway, in the hopes that they would be keeping people safe. Well, the Paris Olympics have finally...
Starting point is 00:45:36 Leave it to the Parisians. Leave it to the Parisians. I was just about to say, yes. Leave it to the fucking Parisians. Yeah, they know. They know everyone wants to get their dick wet, right? Even if you don't have a dick. You still want to get it wet. That's what you want to do. Because that is
Starting point is 00:45:47 what you do when you're young and fun and, you know, having a good time. Like, that's what you want to do. You want to hook up with people. And what a great opportunity to hook up with people from all around the world if you choose. True. Right? So, finally, Paris, the Paris Olympics, they have lifted the intimacy ban for athletes inside of the Olympic Village. You want me to read this to you? Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:10 From TMZ Sports, one of the most reliable investigative reporting out there. Don't be fooled by the TMZ in front. This is hard hitting news right here. I don't know why I actually like Harvey. I actually like that guy Harvey. I don't know why. I find him to be funny. Okay. 24 Paris Olympics lift intimacy band, 300,000 condoms now available for distribution. 300,000. Wow. Go. If you're going to go, go hard. Yeah, do it.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Literally. That's insane. That's insane. I mean, I don't know how many actual athletes there are, but I can't imagine more than 10, 12,000. I don't know, right? Yeah. I mean, how many sports are there? What are you expecting? Geez, I hope you got your sewer systems ready. Everybody that's affiliated with them too, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I guess they're just assuming everyone's getting laid 10 times. Yeah, that's, whoa, wow. Well, I guess you got yourself covered literally. Okay, sex is not prohibited at the Olympics this time around. The intimacy ban has been lifted
Starting point is 00:47:29 and the Olympic Village will be stocked with over 300,000 condoms. And Harvey put four exclamation points after that. That's what a good journalist does. That's right, makes it true. Remember, banging was banned at the Tokyo Olympics due to the COVID-19 pandemic where athletes had to practice social distancing and to enforce the rule Jimmy Hats were provided, but they were not told to use them. They were told not to use them.
Starting point is 00:47:56 What? They were told not to use them. Here, shh. Hey, I'm going to give this to you to stare at. I'm trusting that you won't use this. Yeah, I'm trusting you won't use that. This is for whacking off only. We want to keep the jizz stains to a minimum on these rented beds. But coronavirus regulations have largely been lifted giving the competitors a green light to get busy this summer. It is very important that the conviviality... What is conviviality? What does that mean? Conviviality.
Starting point is 00:48:29 That means happy, celebrating. Oh, okay. That the conviviality here is something big. I guess you're expecting a lot. Yes, said the director, Laurent Machel. The village, which will house over 14,000 athletes and staff, will give out 300,000 condoms, enough for each person to have sex multiple times per day in addition to other amenities.
Starting point is 00:48:52 What other amenities are you giving them? Lube? Is that what? Lube, strap-ons? I guess, I don't know. Yeah, handcuffs. Yeah. Working with the Athletes Commission, we want to create some places, some places where athletes
Starting point is 00:49:03 will be able to feel very enthusiastic and comfortable. Wow. Like sextons? Yeah. It sounds like Michaud here is like encouraging it. This guy's been planning the whole village around a big, like, you know, a Sibian or something. He's ready to get a big sex swing in the middle of the park. With all that sex, with all the sex and competition, the village is making sure to provide beds that can support 550 pounds and a lot of food. Speaking of the food, the village director says
Starting point is 00:49:34 they'll have nearly 400 yards of buffet stocked with food from across the world. Fucking and eating, fucking and eating. Yeah, and competing. That's it. That's what they got. 400 yards of buffet. That's amazing. That's four football fields of buffet. Where are they fitting that? I don't know. God damn, I should have paid more attention as a child to my sports activities. I wish I had. I swam for a while, right? And you know, those,
Starting point is 00:50:06 I don't know if any of you have ever been on a swim, have you been on a swim club? Were you in a swim team? Yeah, I was. You were? Do you remember like the endless days of practice and then the meets that went on for six hours in the afternoon and the nighttime
Starting point is 00:50:16 and it was a fucking so hot and everybody, you know, now the 400 by 100 by two under sevens. Now the 400 by 400 by 100 by two under ones. It's just like, it goes on forever. They do like a hundred different competitions at these meets and they do these meets like every fucking week. It was obnoxious.
Starting point is 00:50:36 And I was never- Jeff was the announcer for his daughters. Oh, he was? He was? And that go on for hours? It does. Oh my God. I can't even imagine. But I should have paid more attention. Now, I think I one time came in fourth in one of those competitions, I guess,
Starting point is 00:50:53 close to the glory as I got, but if I had just tried a little harder, if I just swam a little longer, just practice a little longer, if I had towed my dad's boat more often across Lake Alatuna here in Georgia, then I just would have been a little bit closer to that dream of being an Olympic athlete, because this really sounds great. And you know what? After giving your entire fucking life up to the sport, to the glory, to your country, you should have 400 yards of buffet and 4,000 condoms with a tub of lube ready to just get licked every night. I mean, honestly, this should be the moment.
Starting point is 00:51:29 I can't wait to hear the stories that come out of this. Well, you know there's going to be one. Ryan Lochte ain't there, so it's not going to be that interesting. Remember when Lochte was around sucking and fucking and, you know, getting, when he get mugged one time in a gas station and they figured out that he was trying to buy drugs or something. Yeah. That was in Brazil. It was in Brazil.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Listen, dude, you can't be at a random gas station in the middle of Rio de Janeiro trying to buy blow off somebody. You're going to get hurt. And that's what happened. But he said, oh, they stole my cell phone. They stole your cell phone. They stole your cell phone because that's where you were texting somebody to buy drugs and you threw it down the sewer or whatever. Anyway, I think you go your entire life just focused on one thing and this one
Starting point is 00:52:11 moment presents itself, that two weeks or three weeks or whatever it is should be the absolute time of your life. Get convivial. In every way, conviviality all over the place. I didn't even know conviviality was a word. Yeah, I love that word too. You do? Oh, well, look at that. Why are you so much smarter than I am? Why am I the one talking on this show so much? Why don't you talk? Here, your turn. You do it now. I like just interjecting.
Starting point is 00:52:41 What did you call me? You said one time, I'll be your emotional support host. I thought that was pretty funny, actually. Beth Dombkowski I said, I will be here for emotional support. Jared Sussman Emotional support. Beth Dombkowski If you need me to. Jared Sussman She's my emotional support co-host. Why don't you just, we'll put on a vest for you. I'm going to get you a vest. Please don't touch the emotional support co-host. But I do think this is an idea whose time has come. I mean, obviously I remember these
Starting point is 00:53:17 bands have pretty much been installed at every Summer Olympics ever. And let's be honest about it. I mean, God bless the Winter Olympics. And I'd love to watch the Winter Olympics. I love that fucking luge and that goddamn curling. I mean, I'll stay up all night long watching that curling. I don't know why, but it fascinates me. And I mean, can you imagine? If you're a curler, you're an Olympic athlete and you don't even have to look like an Olympic athlete.
Starting point is 00:53:40 You just can be whatever, you know? All you have to do is get on one knee and slide that thing down, right? And do a lot of sweeping. Yeah slide that thing down, right? Yeah. And do a lot of sweeping. Yeah, that's right. There's a specific person that does that. It takes all kinds.
Starting point is 00:53:49 What about those guys who do the big shot put, right? They look like athletes, certainly. They're big boys and girls, right? But the weight on them also helps them, you know, throw that thing down there or whatever they're doing. But let's be honest about it. The Winter Olympics doesn't get as much hype as the Summer Olympics for one reason and one reason only, women's gymnastics. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:54:11 That's it. Right now, there's so many other sports. I mean, there's a million other sports they play. I like watching the water polo. What do you like? I like the gymnastics and I do like the ice skating for the winter. For the winter. Yeah. I like the snowboarding, the skiing. Downhill skiing. And the bobsled. I like all of those.
Starting point is 00:54:31 But yeah, the summer ones. Summer ones is the big of trial. I mean, the track. Track and field. Oh yeah, that's another one, track and field and gymnastics. I love track and field. I love it. I get excited about the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I really do. Because I know at least for two weeks, I have something to watch. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Oh yeah, of course it is. And now it's in Paris. So there's six hours ahead of us. So, you know, it's going to be on from the moment
Starting point is 00:54:53 you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. It's going to be nonstop coverage. You know that NBC paid like whatever it was, two and a half billion dollars or some shit like that for, you know, coverage through 2030 or I can't remember. I bet they make every dime back. I bet they make every dime back. I bet they make every dime back. Yeah, cool.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Cause then that's how it's also running on everything. Cause it's like CNBC, NBC, MSNBC, probably on Peacock. I think MSNBC is going to be probably preoccupied this summer with the rematch between, I saw the post today. You might, I don't, I don't know. Um, I don't know who it was, but there were two old wrestlers one time, like got back in the ring one time for an exhibition. It was like Hulk Hogan and somebody else. And they took their bodies, like the picture of them, you know, the pre-fight or the pre-wrestle. So they took their bodies and they put Biden and Trump on top, the heads on top.
Starting point is 00:55:41 And I was like, yep, that tracks. I know. The rematch, the rumble in the jungle. Yeah, I get excited about the Olympics because I just, there's something about it that makes me like happy. I turn on the TV and I'm like, oh, look at these people. They're doing great things. Yeah, well, it's the one time too, when all of these different countries and people,
Starting point is 00:56:03 you know, come together. Yeah, they get, yeah, people generally, they are a little bit more convivial, if you will, when the Olympics is on. Let's hope that stays true this summer. I hope so. It's going to be an interesting summer, kids. An interesting summer indeed. So yeah, good luck to the athletes. I hope you all get to use your allotted 10 condoms. Well, no, that's 10, that's 15. That's 20 condoms per.
Starting point is 00:56:31 20 condoms per. Yeah, you gotta stay covered. Yeah, I don't think I've ever used 20 condoms in two weeks. Have you? No. No, that's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, 21 EPMs, but that stretched out over a month.
Starting point is 00:56:43 We're talking about two weeks here. That's really compressing my timeline. And at my age, I shouldn't be lifting anything. Ferris Bueller is quite a little asshole. Uh, yeah. Hey, I want to thanks. Uh, thanks again to Margaret Cho. Thank you. Go back and listen to the episode.
Starting point is 00:57:06 It was just yesterday, so you can't miss it. It's right there. It's right behind you. Oh, no, it wasn't. I got confused. It wasn't yesterday. I'm sorry. But thanks to Margaret Cho.
Starting point is 00:57:15 But thanks to Margaret Cho. She'll be on soon. Yeah. Thanks to Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho came in, and we had a wonderful time with Miss Cho. You'll get that episode next week. I'm sorry. I'm totally confused as to where I'm going or what I'm doing. Don't mind me, I'm just an old puttering man.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I'm just puttering around. Margaret likes to putter. Yeah, I like to putter. She likes to putter. She's a putterer. That's right. And you know what? I could be like the third presidential nominee.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I could, honestly. I could talk in circles and say nothing and I could do that all day long don't worry about me all right go to TCB podcast dot-com that's where you get all the information about the show you can watch all the video listen to all the audio all there one location TCB podcast dot-com you can also get your free piggy fronting sticker. Piggy fronting. Piggy fronting sticker. Get your leggings on. Get your leggings on. Get that piggy fronting sticker. Get to paw paw popping. Get to paw paw popping in that limpy village. I'll tell
Starting point is 00:58:20 you what, this is going to be a hootin' good time. I got a bunch of rubbers. Rubbers, that's what we used to call it. Hey, got any rubbers? Yes, I do. I was 14 walking around with a condom in my wallet. Why, why? Just in case. Just in case.
Starting point is 00:58:38 So get your free piggy front sticker by hitting the contact us button on the website, then give us your address, we'll send you a sticker. It's that easy. We would love you to be on the commercial break. It's your turn. Now you talk. I'm done. Now you talk to one, two, four, three, three, three TCB. That's two one, two, four, three, three, three TCB questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. But most importantly, we want you to come on the show, ask for our advice, tell us a funny story, just generally have a good time. You got to text us and let us know at the commercial break on Instagram, www.youtube.com
Starting point is 00:59:14 slash the commercial break for the interview episodes. Okay, Chrissy, I love you. I love you. And best to you. Best to you. Best to you outside, outside there, out in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. The 30th of March!

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