The Commercial Break - T'was The Night Before Crazy!

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

Its The Last Episode of The Season! There is no YouTube video...because Bryan is an idiot. But Bryan and Krissy discuss Tom Cruise, 1-900 Numbers and the night before Christmas that won't soon be forgotten. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO ([phone]) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm gonna get this right one time. A new episode for your little ears! Hey, it's Brian, the co-host of the commercial break, and I wanted to just drop in and let you know that Chrissy and I are extremely grateful for all of you who have listened and made this such a rousing success in season number one, almost a hundred thousand of you tuned in, and quite frankly, we didn't even have a hundred friends before we started this show. So thank you, very much, from the bottom of our hearts. This is the end of season 1. This is the last, relive recorded episode, but we'll be back the first Tuesday in January with brand new episodes for your little ears.

Fear not, however, we've decided we're going to cut up the old shows and put a best of together for the following two Tuesdays. So while you have no new episodes, you will have new audio to listen to. It's our gift from us to you, the listener. Also, if you hear us talk about going to YouTube and watching episode number 37, the one you're about to listen to, don't, because it's not there, because I corrupted the file, and now we have no video. And I'm really sorry about that, but you know what?

Don't be ungrateful. It's Christmas! Enjoy the show. Hey! Any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me? I have one. I like Frank Shirley, my boss right here tonight. I want to buy from his happy holiday slumber over there.

A melody lane with all the other rich people. I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And I want to look him straight in the eye. And I want to tell him what a cheap line, no good rotten, foreflushing low-life snake-looking, dirtying, and bread. Overstuffed ignorant, blunt, fucking dog-kissing brainless, dickless, hopeless, hardless, fat ass bug-eyed stiff-leg, it's body-lip, we're headed sack of monkey shit he is.

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the title? Hello. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. On this episode of the commercial break. So I wanted to give you an update, Chrissy, on our efforts over the last couple of shows to get people's, I know. That's too hard. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push.

We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. We had a big push. I just talked about it in two shows. I don't think we really did much. Are you putting on your sexy voice for Raphael? Oh yeah. We have a good friend called Raphael, named Raphael.

Who told us the last week he was like, your voice is sexy. I didn't tell my wife how sexy. It was another little strange I call Chelsea in the room Chelsea come listen to her. It's Charlie sexy voice Chelsea's probably like a later. Honey later. I'm over here doing I'm over here raising your family I swear okay,. What did you title it? Well, I titled it the commercial break by podcast.

Yeah, 6th and 5th. 6th and 5th. Thank you for calling Big Mama 6th and 5th. Yes, I'm in defeat. Oh, you're off and out there. I give you a nice foot and anus. How about I put two foot in Aynas? Oh!

Thank you, Big Mama. What do you look like? A man! A big hairy man! For your Aynas! The next episode of the commercial break starts now. I'm going to need you to stay six feet away. What did I do?

I don't know what you did, but I'm gonna need you to stay six feet away. I'm responsible for everyone on this staff. I'm on the phone with the investors every night. I'm responsible for literally millions and millions of children going hungry or not going hungry. So I'm gonna need you to stay six feet away.

Yes, sir Tom. Thank you. gonna need you to stay six feet away. Yes, sir, Tom. Thank you. Thank you. We're in COVID formation. I said COVID formation, everybody. COVID formation, which means you stay there and I stay here. That's right. What an asshole.

Tom Cruise, did you hear about, did you hear this guy? Did you hear the rant? Of course I did. Of course I did. So we're saying it's for publicity. For publicity? publicity. Do you really think so? I don't know. That's just what I read. But I don't get it. What publicity for what? So just to like bring get his name back on the on the magazines? Remini was saying. Ali a remedy. She's the Scientologist former Scientologist,

and she's saying it was for publicity. Listen, I applaud all her efforts to, you know, call out all these shit head fuck twodds and it's cult called, you know, Scientology, but she's allowed mouth. What does she know for publicity? What is that gonna do? I mean, listen, I'm not agreeing with Tom Cruise.

I don't think he'd dress somebody down in front of 70 other people about, well, and I don't even know what the infraction was. What was the infraction? Not staying six feet away? Was that the infraction? No, nothing so. Are you putting on your sexy voice for Raphael?

Yeah, I am. I am. We have a good friend called Raphael named Raphael. Who told us the other last week, he like your vet your voice is so sexy I did tell my wife how sexy I To call Chelsea in the room Chelsea's probably like a later honey later. I'm over here doing I'm over here raising your family I love your hair You've gone blonde yes, I did I want to have more fun. I'm in full Co-Vid formation Tom Cruise you can see on the YouTube channel go check us out on YouTube go to tcbpodcast.com

You can watch all the episodes or all the episodes that we have on YouTube, you can watch them there, but I've got a Tom Cruise wig on today. I got mine. Is he blonde? He's not blonde. I thought he was blonde. Oh, thanks. Wait, this wig is not runette.

My color blindness has foiled me again. Which is a true story, I'm color blind, so. Well, I'm somewhat color blind. I'm not all the way color blind, which would be a just, I think strange if you someone was, I'm colorblind. So, well, I'm somewhat colorblind. I'm not all the way colorblind, which would be just, I think strange if you someone was all the way colorblind. Just black and white, just black. It exists.

And in effect, I think men in general, you know, colors are just perceptions, right? It's all about the lights and the rods or something like that, you know, the lights and the rods. Sounds like a, it's not like a swingers club. Lights and rods. Sounds like a swingers club, lights and rods. It doesn't even name my new band, lights and rods. But men apparently didn't get the 17th rod

or something until a little bit later on in the evolution. I don't even know what it, a lot of men have some kind of color, some degree of colorblind, and they call it red-green colorblind, even though it's not really red or green, it's not about red or green, it's just like, but you don't know, you can't see. Let's show, I mean, what does it matter?

If you say that's blue, I can call it blue, what does it really matter at the end of the day? I see something, right? At least I'm not totally blind. But I'm some kind, I'm some version of colorblindness, but anyway, I digress, we'll move on. So I wanted to give you an update, Chrissy, on our efforts over the last couple of shows

to get people to sign up to our Instagram. We had a big push. We had a big push. Well, I don't call it a big push. We just talked about it in two shows. I mean, I don't think we really did much. And the evidence, let's talk about the good news first. Let's talk about the good news.

And I have to say this because I think it's important that those who are listening know that your favorite podcast of the commercial break was the number one trending podcast in the United States and the number one trending podcast in the world last week, according to Chartable. Woo. Now, Chrissy and I both woke up that morning to find out this news and we both asked ourselves

the case of the same question, which is, is it possible that they're not right? Is it possible this is wrong? Is there a mistake? I don't understand. But thank you to all the new listeners who have jumped on board. That's a stunning accomplishment. But I'll tell you what else is a stunning accomplishment is that so many people are listening to us and yet we have nobody following us on any social media.

Oh, we have people that are, we have subscribers on YouTube, so that's good, not a lot, but some subscribers. But we're trying to make this push to get people to follow us on Instagram specifically, because you know, Facebook is so 2010. So we're on Instagram. We like people. That's your grandparents. Yeah, that's your grandparents social media. Let Let the billow Rylees and the Tucker Carlson's of the world have Facebook. We'd like to get on Instagram. It's It's newer and hyper cooler. Yeah, even though it's owned by the same company. Yeah It's the same fucking thing, but for some reason we've we decided not to not to make a big push on Facebook

But on IG so if you would at the commercial break at TCB with a Y, at TCB Chrissy with a K and a Y, go and follow us, we're adding new things and content, what we call TCB Xers, onto those social media channels that you cannot get anywhere else. So please go and like that. I have to say, it is exclusive. It's exclusive because only three people belong to it. That's right. I can't believe it.

It's crazy to me. It's like, I mean, I guess thank you three people. Yeah, I can't believe that anybody listens to the show quite frankly. It's so mind-blowing to me. You know, we wake up in the morning on Wednesday, number one in whatever, number one in whatever, number five in this, number six in that.

Chrissy and I are like, what the fuck? Who's who? How did we do that? What happened there? Does people, yeah, actually decided they liked the listen to us? Yeah, no, I mean, would you listen to us if we weren't, if we weren't us, would you listen to us? Yes. You would, you would think it was funny enough?

Yeah, I literally like a conversation between two friends and that. That's exactly what it is. I love this blonde hair. You got to get YouTube to this fine. I mean, I love it. I feel like I could wear this. I feel like I wear this hairstyle and get away with it. I should absolutely wear it.

It's a little guy, Fiery Erie. It's a little guy, Fiery Erie, meets Nick Nulti when he was good looking, but yeah. Or maybe not. Nick Nulti when he's not good looking. Who's the other guy, Fury Erie, meets Nick Nolte when he was good looking, or maybe not. Nick Nolte when he's not good looking. Who's the other guy, the crazy guy? I feel like it's very surfer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's up, dude? What's up, dude? What's up, dude? Have you heard Monday Band? It's called Breaking the Reef. It's called Spakoli. It is Spakoli. My new band is called Breaking the Reef.

We play like Subpop, alternative, and Heavy Metal all together. We call it Surfrock. So TCPpodcast.com is where you can go to watch all of the YouTube videos. You can find out more about Chrissy and I. You can join the break room, the break room, get in on it now because in season number two,

which will come up at the beginning of the new year, we got brand new, all kind of shit for you. So join in the break room, go to tcbpodcast.com and make sure to follow us on IG. And thank you to all the people who made us the number one trending podcast in the world. Last week, I'm sure that won't last for very long. Be optimistic. Wait, so, you gave me good news. Oh. So let me give you the good news. Now, what's the bad news? Oh I'm writing you gave me good news.

Oh, let me give you the good news. Now what's the bad news? Oh, let me tell you the bad news. We even know we, I'm kind of a bad news first kind of person. Oh, are you? And why are you bad news first? Because I think I just want to hear some good, I mean, some bad news first.

Give me that shock. Tell me good. Otherwise, you got me on a high with the good. And then you drop the hammer with the bad. I'm, I'm like that in love making. Feel like that. Is anybody else email? Is there anybody out there?

Emails info at ecvpodcast.com. Follow us at the commercial break. And you know what? You can, we'll ask the question on. What's your thought? You look at that. You are engaging Chrissy. Chrissy is good at engagement.

I feel like I'm like that in love making. I like a good kick swift kick in the nuts before we get down to the good stuff. But I'm one who likes good news first because I feel like that I can optimistically push through whatever bad news comes. So it's like, you know, the good news. The high is gonna be 75 and sunny today.

That's great, bad news. You dog died, look at me. No, but at least it's going to be sunny outside. Uh, what's the bad news? If you heard about the clubhouse, speaking of social media, I've heard about clubhouse. I had not until you told me about it. I thought that we were going to do like a Andy Cohen clubhouse type bravo. Okay, so this is funny. So we decide, we record early because there's a lot of production, post-production elements that go into the show. I mean, not a lot, but there's, you, you,

if you listen to the show, that's right. If you listen to the show, you understand just how bad we are at this technology stuff. We record every third show we record at least twice and sometimes three times. Sometimes I'll call Chrissy at like one in the morning and be like, I deleted the file so we have to record again.

And so we decide that we're gonna record last Wednesday or Tuesday night because I was going somewhere and I couldn't do it over the weekend like we usually do. So Chrissy says, okay. In remote, I'm a remote. We're remote right now for those of you not watching on YouTube. We're going to switch back to remote because of the information. That's right. COVID formation. Yeah. COVID formation.

Unless we can test and feel the word. Tom Cruise would be proud. Yes he would. So, uh, six feet back. I wish I had that audio on. I could play it. It was, it was rather intense actually. And for those of you that don't know, Tom Cruise was on the set of Mission Impossible 37.

And I guess he's the executive producer of it. Also, maybe he's putting up money. I'm not really sure he's talking about investors. I'm sure he's super involved in it by this point. So he gets on the set. And I guess the deal is you have to stay six feet apart is the protocol when you're making this movie. So Tom Cruise sees.

It's hard to me. I don't think that it can, I mean, how do the actors do that? I guess the actors don't do that. I hear my little brothers in the movie industry and let me tell you what they're doing. They have their own testing facility on set and those tests get done every three days while you're working.

So Monday, Wednesday, Friday, you're taking a test. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, you're taking a test. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, you're taking a test. And if someone tests positive, then a whole subset of, everyone's kind of like, like, cordoned off. And that whole subsection then has to go quarantine for a period of time. But it's really important that the talent doesn't get it because if the talent gets it,

then everybody goes home, right? Then everyone has to quarantine and then the whole show is shut down. So I guess it's similar in Tom Cruise's situation. But he catches somebody that I suppose has been closer than six feet from each other and he goes off, man, I mean, he goes, he lights into these, I'm assuming two human beings,

he dresses them down in front of an entire crew and one of the crew members audio records the entire thing. It's intense. Tom Cruise is like, he goes from zero to 100. Yeah, he seems like an intense. Anybody who's in, isn't he like to head a Scientology or some shit? He's paid the most money.

Yeah, I think you gotta be a real fucking didnic. Did you see that I believe in that bullshit? And I sense that Tom. That's a funny story about Scientology actually. Are you a Scientologist? No, I'm not. But I was approached by a Scientologist on a plane one time Dianetics type stuff from Atlanta to LA. Oh really? I ended up sitting next to this guy who was in from Australia

Mm-hmm to go to the LA Temple or whatever And it's a long fight. It's like a ticket office, so you just pay at the door and then you become arm room number one and then you go to Zeno and Zownu and it's a fucking bullshit. It seems weird, but you know, whatever if it helps people be good people, I'm not going to knock it. But here's the problem.

It doesn't seem like much good is come from Scientology. I mean, I'm sure there are good people that are associated with Scientology. Don't get me wrong. But it doesn't seem like it's all shits and giggles. I mean, you know, they're like, yeah, people are just, holding people, you know, kidnapping people.

And if you leave, then they hunt you and they stalk you and you can't get another job and all this other stuff, it sounds really fucked up actually. And I need, I remind anybody that Scientology was started by L. Ron Fuckin Hubbard, who wrote science fiction books about Martians and aliens for a good portion of his life. That's what he did for a living.

And all of a sudden, and then he came up with this contraption where he like, you know, it was a tube that he would run cold water through. And if he got warm, then he like, you know, it was a tube that he would run cold water through and if it got warmed and you know, you are. Yeah, no, I think it's called, I think there's some kind of tapping or tapping. Oh, yeah, tapping. Yeah. Something, anyways, this guy explained it to me, that's four years ago, tapping. I sat next to him.

In my opinion, tapping is like, bang, you must be banging your head against a fucking wall. If you believe any of the shit that you're in Zanadu and Zeno and Enu and all the to me it's beyond me but I also was approached to do the Dianetics bullshit right to go to the facility and be tested and go through what do they call it the program or whatever the fuck it was and I zero interest in doing any of that but I did read part of Dianetics and I have to say I have no fucking idea how anybody gets involved in that because it's such a horde shit. I mean, the book is like, it's insane.

And whatever. Anyway, go Google Tom Cruise and hear him on his rant. So a lot of people are defending him saying, hey, listen, this is important. There's hundreds of people on the set. Yeah, I mean, I get it from one side for sure. No, there's a better way to go, by the way, I think. Don't you think?

Like, pull the two aside and say, hey guys, stop being such a fucking ass clown, right? We're all waiting on you. We're all hoping you two, yeah, we're hoping you two don't, you know, just coronavirus all over each other. And here you are, giving reach arounds over near the craft table.

Fuck! I felt like I looked like Tom Cruise and I did that. My blonde hair is awesome. Clubhouse, speaking of social media, is this new fangled phenomenon that's been going around. It's an app that you put on your phone. Do you remember the dating lines or the chat lines of the 1980s and 90s the 800s the 977s the 976s? Yes, I do. I was actually a voice on Where's Raffa? What do you mean?

Chelsea, Chelsea come in here. She's doing the voice again. Were you really a voice? No. No, yeah. I might do it now. Well listen, you can go on only fans that hear a lot of people are supporting themselves, supporting themselves. No, no, no, no, no one wants to. Clubhouse is back in the 80s and 90s for those of you that are too young to remember. There were 900 numbers and 976 numbers, which is the prefix.

So it would be like 1,900 hot cock or whatever it was. Or 976 sex or whatever it was. And these commercials would play, you could find them in the newspaper, you could find them in like, local, and they were everywhere on TV. On billboards, on TV.

Late night on like, TVS or TNT. And then people would rack up like thousand dollars. That was a $1,000 bill. That was a $1,000 bill. Because here was the game. You would call these, what they call chat lines, right? They weren't really supposed to be, they weren't called sex lines.

They were called chat lines. You would call and it would, in the first 10 minutes of the phone call, and I know this because I, I one time gave my father a heart attack when he got a $350,000 AT&T fucking bill. Yeah, I hid in my room for like 30 days straight. Every time he went to the mailbox,

I was like literally was waiting for, Armageddon, and then it happened. But so you would call 976, 976 tits or whatever, right? You would call and then it would go, hi, my name is candy. Wait. Hi, my name is candy.

And thanks for calling 976 sex. We're waiting for you on the other end. For Black women, press one. If white girls turn you on, press two. If you like feet, press three. If you like feet with shoes on press four and this would go on for like 10 minutes if you like to look at dogs anuses press 170 six this would go on hold me forever and ever and ever until you got to whatever you liked yeah

but the trick was is that as soon as you as as soon as the phone call started, they would start charging you up to $7.99 a minute. So you'd be four fucking minutes in the announcements before you even got to press a button. And they'd already have you by, by the balls, they'd already have you 50 bucks. What they would do is then they'd root you around the world. So let's say you pressed number one. Well, there's some, some chick in Puerto Rico is waiting to take your phone call number one, right? African American women. There it is, number one, right?

So you'd press number one. You'd call Russia first, then they'd root you to Africa, then down to the South Pole, then up to the North Pole, then over to Canada, and back down to Puerto Rico. That's right, Mrs. Santa. And Mrs. Santa doesn't, just do something in the off season. If you want Mrs. Santa to use dial seven, hey, it's me, Mrs. Santa.

Let's look in my bag of goodies and see what I got. Oh, it's a fixed foot tiledo. Pandover, you've been a bad boy. Look, it's a massage or from sharper image. No, from image. So these chat lines would milk people, but they became extraordinarily popular because some of the chat lines weren't just one on one.

It would be like 12 people in a group all talking together and it's how some people met up and I watched this whole interesting documentary about, yeah, kind of like an orgy chat, but sometimes it wasn't about sex. It was just because people were lonely and they needed somebody to talk to. So these chat lines went away when landlines went away. I'm sure they still exist somewhere, right? But landlines went away and so did the chat lines.

But now Clubhouse has reinvented the chat line. And here's how it goes. You get on the app. It's invite only right now, and I was nice enough to get someone was nice enough to send me an invite. You get on the app, and then you can scroll through different chat rooms, so whatever, whatever, you know, people are telling interesting

holiday stories, you know, talking about what they're cooking for Thanksgiving, you know. I don't know, psychology around parenting. Anything, anything, anything. You know, like a Reddit know, psychology around parenting. Anything, anything. You know, like a Reddit. Kind of like a Reddit, but you can call in. It's kind of like a Reddit, but when you find something interesting,

you tap and then you're in the room. And sometimes there's hundreds and hundreds of people in the room, but they're not all talking at one time. There's a host, a moderator, and then people join the room. And if they want to talk, they raise their electronic hand. Like you press a button and your little hand goes up on your picture. And then if they get to talk, they raise their electronic hand. Like you press a button and your little hand goes up on your picture and then if they get to you, they get to you.

So I thought, two nights, we would start maybe something that goes on frequently here at the commercial break. Let's start a commercial break clubhouse. What do you think? I like it. Do you want to hear what one of these clubhouses sounds like? Do you want to jump into a clubhouse? Sure. Okay. That's about Okay. Okay. Here's one. USA versus the United Kingdom, bridging the gap,

style wars. So I'm just going to jump in here real quick. And we're going to take a listening, take a listen to what's going on in this one. It became cool when it came in New York and spread Chicago and LA. That's how it happened. The way I was saying to you, Christopher, yeah, the music scene, we've always been saying catch up in terms of exposure, right? It's only now in the last five years, like I was saying to Chase, there's a lot of millionaires out of the U.K. wrapping the studio industry, grand, whatever that,

whatever you want to call it, yeah. Okay, so you see how it goes, right? There's a bunch of people that are in there and they're all talking to each other about this subject of style between USA and UK. Oh, we've got 54, we've got more followers on fucking clubhouse than we do on Instagram. This is crazy.

I've never once done a clubhouse. This will be my first. I swear. Okay Well, I titled it the commercial break live podcast. Yeah, six six if I guess Yes, I'm into feet all your off and, I give you a nice foot and anus. Oh. How about I put two foot and anus. Oh. Thank you, big mama. What do you look like? A man.

A big hairy man. For your anus. I, oh, okay, all right, ready? Here, let's start a clubhouse, okay? Right now? Yeah, we're going to do. That's what we're going to do. I'm telling you, that's what the whole lead up here is? Here, let's start a clubhouse, okay? Right now? Yeah, we're gonna do clubhouse next. That's what we're gonna do, I'm telling you, that's what the whole lead up here is,

we're gonna start a clubhouse. Start a room. Okay, we're gonna open a room, okay? Let's go. Our office. Okay, would like to access my microphone, do you wanna start a new room? Yes, I do.

Brian, you have, there's some technical things. Okay, that's true. That's true. Don't put off your microphone. Okay. I think I can still involve micr events I'm already looking at our recording here of squad cast and it says it's not recording Okay, nervous. Oh, oh, I but I got it. I got a cover. Don't worry. I'm recording over here. I promise everything's okay Don't worry about it getting so nervous. Okay, so Okay, so here we are. All right, so now I've got a room started

and I'll ping it up, okay. And then if someone raises, it comes in and raises their hand, then we're gonna, we'll take, we'll listen to it. Whatever they have to say, we'll just go with it. What are you like broadcasting us? I'm broadcasting us right now doing the podcast. That's how it works. How fucking cool is that?

All right, so now we have a clubhouse going. It's called the, I mean, no one, I would tell you what it is. Like I would say it, but you're gonna hear this three days later. Sorry, it doesn't matter. But listen, if you go to our IG account, what I think I'm gonna start doing is,

I'll announce when we're gonna record the show. I'll say Saturday, three of three PM, we're gonna do it. And then you can go look for our clubhouse, which is the commercial break podcast live recording is what I called it. Um, and so that's how to work. What do you think? Sound good? Sounds good to me. Okay, sounds great. I feel like we should start a chat room every time we record it. What about if I said no? I'm just going to go. Why are you going to bust my balls tonight? I said no. I'm just gonna go. Why are you gonna bust my balls tonight?

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. I feel like you're a little saucy tonight. You got your sexy voice on. You got a sexy voice on. I feel like you're something that's not being said. Are you angry with me?

No, not at all. It's your blonde hair. Oh, it's my blonde hair. It makes your whole business you off all together. It does look like I'm a whole different person. I'm Boris Johnson. It does. My hair went from. So we such as he hit it right. I know I went from Nick Neltita. Like, boy, the Boris Johnson. It's like a surfer Boris Johnson. We're going to shut down the old of UK.

We're going to shut it down. What a fucking good Nick that guy is. I'm not going to wear a mask. Oh, I almost died of coronavirus. Okay. Okay. It's Christmas time. We got one show left in the sea.

Look at that. That looks good. Oh, I love the Christmas tree in the background. We've got one show. We're doing one show, one more show in this season. This is episode number 37 and then we're going to wrap up the season. We'll be back in a couple of weeks for season number two. So I wanted to talk a little bit about Christmas. I wanted to talk a little bit about Christmas stories and on the way to record the show, like when I was walking down here from my bedroom, on the way to record the show like when I was walking down here from my bedroom. I on the way to the studio from from my bedroom.

I thought of an excellent Christmas story that I could tell. I do tell. And you're a part of it. So that's good. So the year is 2009, new or 10, and Chrissy Hodeley and I are working for this large radio conglomerate in their business department here in Atlanta, Georgia. I am recently divorced. Chrissy has recently moved back here, is that right?

Yes, yeah, I mean, I moved back here in 2007, so I think it is 2009. Okay, 2009. Okay, so Chrissy and I are 2009, so we're, and we're fast friends. I'm single. Yeah, more both single. We're so we're, and we're fast friends. I'm single. Yeah, yeah, we're both single. We're both single.

We're both single. I'm recently divorced. And I've got this house, all to myself. I've got this house, my wife X, Y, Y, F and I lived in, and now I've got it all to myself, and it's right in downtown Atlanta near all of this stuff. So I would make it a regular habit. But I'm on the corner from me, really. Yeah, I mean, we always lived very close to each other.

Yeah, and we were fun. lived very close to each other. Yeah. Yeah, and we were fun. We'd like to just go out. Let me work at a radio station too. There's always something going on, some kind of promotion, and there's drinking and both. There's a lot of drinking and both. There was a lot of drinking and both.

There was a lot and lots and lots of a lot of drinking. Everyone in radio drinks, because it's a fucking miserable business, right? And so I mean, I'm pretty. And Budweiser sponsors it all. Yeah, Budweiser gives you all the free fucking miserable business, right? And so, I mean, I'm pretty... And Budweiser sponsors it all. Yeah, Budweiser gives you all the free beer you want, right? Like I think we've heard this story. We worked for the Braids Radio Network for a short period of time.

Yeah. I think we spent $70,000 one season just on alcohol for the employees. That's $70,000. And the beer was free and we still spent $70,000. It was incredible. It was incredible. It was incredible. So I had a habit, some of the guys and the girls at the radio station, there was a newly opened W

in Midtown, a W as a hotel brand. It's a high-end pitch that very young, affluent people that live in downtown Atlanta. Cool lights, Dark, yeah. Sexy, boutique furniture. And they also had a club upstairs. So they had a bar downstairs and a club upstairs. A Randy Gerber club.

Ah, that's right. Cindy Crawford's husband. Oh, I remember that. That's correct. So they had just opened this bar and so it was a new hit place to go. So we would all, you know, at some point in the night, usually on a weekend, we would end up there. And one night I ended up there with some work colleagues.

The colleagues went up into the club and I decided I wanted to stay at the bar. I was standing at the bar and a woman approached me and she said something along the lines of, can you get me a drink? I don't have my ID with me. Not she clearly of age, right? But that's what she said to me. And I bought her a drink and then a conversation started from there. If one thing led to another, you get it, right? Her and I hit it off and we started

to start a date. If my memory serves me correctly, Yeah. You had a string of some questionable girls in the lineup. Yeah. Okay. All right. So I put it in my rotation.

I had a question. By questionable, I just mean that crazy. They were quirky. I think quirky is the better word for it. Mainly because I'm not a psychiatrist, and I don't know if I can diagnose them.

Okay, so they're quirky. Let's call them quirky. And this was another quirky woman. I mean, she went from asking me to buy her a drink to, you know, over at my house, three nights in a row, it just kind of happened that way. And she was a rather interesting character, very beautiful woman, but she was very interesting.

She was very quiet, she slept a lot. When she was up, she didn't do a whole lot of talking. She was just kind of like an interesting person. But her and I... So you took a liking to you very quickly. It got very hot and heavy very quickly. I wouldn't say to my chagrin, I would say that I was kind of, I think I remember being like, oh, yeah, okay, that's interesting. She's calling all the time and texting all the time.

Yeah. She came over one night to my house to spend the night and I asked her if she wanted to go out, you know, go have drinks. Let's go to the W. Let's go have drinks somewhere. Because we had been a couple nights at my house and I just wanted to get out of the house. I didn't want to be there and get out of the house. And this is Christmas time. This is Christmas time.

Well, this is about a week. But the tree was up. The tree was up. This is about a week before the whole U and I thing. But so anyway, so she says, I don't want to go out, you know, I just want to spend time here with you. And I was like, this is so strange. We've only been dating for like three weeks, but you know, she doesn't want wanna go out, you know, I just wanna spend time here with you. And I was like, this is so strange, we're gonna be dating for like three weeks,

but you know, she doesn't wanna go out anywhere, she just wants to kind of stay home. And so I said, okay. At the end of the night, she's free, I'm in the bathroom and she's freaking out about something. Oh, shit, did you see where my medication went? And I'm like, you're where your medication went. Where's your, what kind of medication are you taking?

It's medication, I take it every night for sleep. And I'm like, oh, okay, what what is the medication? I mean while I have two dogs One is a chocolate lab that eats anything off of everything you got to keep everything away from the dog It turns out that this girl had left four closet real pills on my fucking night Nightstand it took me about an hour to get it out of her that it was closet real Closeryl for those of you who don't know is an anti-psychotic medication and at that moment surprise hey happy birthday to you you in the lottery happy crazy to you happy crazy to you you're gonna get murdered like to do in movies. Happy crazy to you. Okay. Okay. Let me just disclaimer here. Good for her, for getting.

For getting medication. Correct. And yeah, mental health help. I agree. Okay. However, but that's kind of pink picture. It's just painting the picture, right? And I've been to loneliness in my family.

Don't think I'm making fun of it because I know how tough it can be. And that's not an automatic discount. I didn't discount the woman automatically because of this, but there were a couple of different incidences. So let's fast forward to two nights later. Let's say this is a Wednesday and on a Friday night, she calls me up and she says,

what are you doing? I'm thinking I'm gonna go downtown and I'm gonna meet some friends and then I'll meet up with you. I go to the bar with a friend of mine, I go to the bar across the street with another friend of mine, not Chrissy, but another friend of mine. And she started this girl, let's call her Casey. Casey starts texting me left and right, right?

And she's like, where are you? I wanna come meet you, blah blah blah. And I just decide that it's time for a break. It's gotten a little too hot and heavy. It's the 23rd, it's the 23rd of December. It's like literally, towards the night before Christmas, right? And I'm like, you know, I just think we need a break.

It's already like 10 o'clock at night. Let's just give it a rest, right? So I tell her, hey, listen, I'll have a great holiday. I'll see you in a couple of days. I'm probably gonna wrap it up here and then I'm gonna go to sleep. Five minutes later, 10 minutes later, Chrissy Hodeley calls me.

And she says, what are you doing? And I said, I'm at the bar here with my friend Ted. And she says, I'll tell you what, I'll meet Ted. I'll tell you what, I'll meet you of Ted. Where did that guy go? So, I don't know either. So, he says, I'll be there in a couple of minutes. Why don't we have a couple drinks?

It's Christmas. And I said, fan fucking tasks. Come on down. Now, I wasn't trying to be dishonest with Casey. I just felt like it was too much too fast. I wanted to just take one step back. I wasn't breaking up with her. I was just telling her, hey, listen,

let's just, we'll see each other in a couple days. Chrissie Holi comes to the bar, Ted has left. We have a couple of beers and you know what we decide? We decide it's fucking Christmas. So what are we gonna do? We're gonna go sing and dance to some Christmas carols back at my house. I love to dance. Let me just tell you. I mean, I'm a big dancer. I like good music and dancing

and jovialness. I always feel an aunt to you after a couple of years. Yes. Chrissy. Chrissy is the Mikhail. Who's the guy? The famous dancer. Mikhail Gorbachev, what was his name? What's the name of his dancer? His name. Yeah, the Russian guy, the dance, you know what I'm talking about? It's not Mikhail. Chalkowski, who is it? Mikhail.

He was like, he was the... Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, the Russian dancer. The dance, the ballet. Oh, very close. You know, Tyne the Russia dance. The ballet guy, who was like a real manly man, but he was a ballet guy and all the women wanted him.

Yeah, yeah. Shunaskovk. I can't remember his name. It wasn't Gorbachev. Yeah, it wasn't Gorbachev. I was the leader. Yeah, that was the Russian leader. That was the fact guys, I look like the opposite of Tiny Dancer.

I had the birthmark. Yeah, he had a big birthmark on his head that looked like Russia. It was like a birthmark in the... Out that, whatever, you remember. Okay, so Chrissy and I decided, Mark on his head that looked like Russia. It was like a birthmark in the middle of the house. Out that, whatever, you remember. Okay, so Chrissy and I decide, we pick up a suitcase, a beer, or some wine, or whatever, and we go back to my house.

My house is a shotgun style house. And by shotgun, I mean, it's long and it's straight. So there's a couple of windows, there's a screened in porch, there's a couple of windows that you can see right in through the dining room, the kitchen, the family room in the front, and then on the side of the house,

on the left side of the house, there's a driveway, and there's windows all along that driveway, and you can see right into the house. And I'm a single guy, so I don't have any accoutrements to go on my windows, they're just open, but it's the driveway, no one can see, and there's like a fence on the other side. So there's nothing to be concerned about.

No privacy issues. Plus, I'm a single guy in my 30s. When I fucking care of it, it sees me, right? Yeah. So Chrissy and I are, it's turned on some Christmas music, which are on the local radio stations playing Christmas music 24 hours a day. It's the 23rd of December.

It's a little brisk outside. We smoked cigarettes at the time. So we're smoking cigarettes. We're having a blast. We're just dancing the night away December. It's a little brisk outside. We smoked cigarettes at the time, so we're smoking cigarettes. We're having a blast. We're just dancing the night away. Chrissy and I are. The tree is up. I love that song walking around the Christmas tree.

Yep. Oh, I think you're like, we're dancing. You're spinning me. I'm spinning Chrissy. Just dancing. Just having a good time. And after the song is over, I go to empty one of the ash trays outside.

Wasn't a habit of mine to smoke inside, but we were smoking inside. So I go to empty the ash tray. It was that kind of night. It was that kind of night. The ash tray was full really quickly. So I walk out of the side of the house where the driveway is, and the garbage cans are right out of the side door

where the driveway is. And I walk out of the side door where the driveways. And I walk out of the side door and I turn around and at the bottom of the driveway, Casey is in her car at the bottom of the driveway on the street and she is yelling at me. I thought you were going home to go to sleep. And I was like, who is that? And I look and I can see that it's Casey.

Mom? Is that you? And Terry, I thought you were died. I thought you died in 82. Nope, it's Casey. And Casey gets out of her car. We're caught. Casey gets out of her car and she starts walking up the driveway, screaming and yelling

the entire way by myself, like spinning around. I was, yeah, she's, she's, no, no, she's like, wow, I don't know. Or did Brian put the garbage can the next down over. I am screaming and yelling, she is screaming and yelling at me outside the driveway and I'm like, Casey, Casey, you got a shut up. Like I got neighbors. What are you doing here? Why are you here?

I drove here because I suspected something was wrong. You're taming on me. And I'm like, I'm not cheating on you. What are you talking about? I see you guys in there. Basically, fucking. And I'm like, I'm not fucking. We're dancing to Christmas music.

And I told you I was going to see you another night. No, I'm not fucking, we're dancing to Christmas music. And I told you I was gonna see you another night. No, I'm not leaving until I understand exactly what's going on here. And I'm like, the fuck you're not leaving. Get the fuck out of what are you talking about? Meanwhile, so now she's like crazed. I mean, the look in this woman's eye is insane. Now she has gone from normal, kind of normal human being possibly with some mental health issues to absolutely insane human being with

definitely mental health issues. Screaming and yelling and now my neighbors are up. I had a nosy neighbor across the street and now my nosy neighbor even misses crab hits that's right. You can see the lights going on in her house all around because Casey keeps on screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs. Now she's threatening to kill me. She's like, I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna kill you. And I'm like, oh my God, what is going on here?

So I finally say, you know what, Casey? Get back in your car and fucking leave. That's all you gotta do. And I walk and, and HODY is walking outside the house to see what all the commotion is as I'm walking inside. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just go back inside and you can hear Casey, you're fucking bitch. You're fucking bitch.

I'm gonna fucking kill you too. And I'm like, oh my god, what's going on? And Patty, I thought you died in 87. It's the ghost of Christmas, Patty. It's the ghost of Christmas crazy. Yeah, it was really weird. I was confused. I think we all were confused. I think Casey was confused. We broke it down. It are. We were like, did that just happen?

Yes. What happened? So, so I come in the house and I'm like, I don't know when, Holy says, who was that? And I said, it's said is that girl Casey what was she here when is she coming in no no no no no She's not coming in she wasn't supposed to be here like I told her she'd we're gonna see each other another night I don't know what happened she came into my and all the sudden the lights in the driveway You can see the car pulling up into the driveway Casey is now she was down at the end of the street Now she's pulling up into the driveway and

Holy and I are all the sudden are like scared Shit, does that woman have a gun? I mean, I don't know what's going on Yeah, she have firearms or a bat or something. Did we just lock the door? We did we locked the door We ran into my bedroom actually We locked the door we ran into the bedroom and I'm trying to explain to Holy why this is all going on and she's she's this is insane. Why would she be stalking you like this? I don't know I guess she's upset that I didn't go out with her tonight. I assume blah blah blah. Over the next hour and a half my

Blackberry at the time did not stop. Do you remember how many hundreds of text messages came across over the next hour and a half, two hours until finally, hold me, just turned it off. She finally just turned it off. She was like, Brian, this is insane. You gotta just turn it off, forget her. That's enough. Tell her to go fuck herself like.

That's it. So Chrissy and I try and enjoy what's left of the night. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was. I don't be here cigarettes and I think I had a golf club or something. She does not get into the back of the house, so don't worry about it. Chrissy and I go to bed at some point, we wake up the next day.

I realize my blackberries off, I turn it on. I've probably got 500 text messages. And while I shut the phone off at some point, I'm sure hundreds of missed phone calls. And they are going from crazy to, so here's how the text messages are. To Red Hot, to please call me back, to I need you to talk to me. Why aren't you talking to me? I love you. I love you. We've known each other for two weeks. I love you. What I love you But the fuck is going on this girl goes on and on and on that the the amount of text messages that came toward me at that time Was just insane

So hold the anyer sitting here in the morning and we're just flipping through these text messages like oh my god This this woman's a little bit off. I mean she's not a little bit off. She's a whole shit load off that she did this. Yes. Monday morning. So this goes on all week and long. Yeah, because that was like a Friday night. It was a Friday night. Because I think if you remember on Saturday night

or on Sunday night, I can't remember which one it was. Maybe it was Sunday night. I actually had to call Ted to come over to my house because Carrie kept pulling up in the driveway. I called the police, they almost arrested her for a DUI, and she took off down the road. Like, it just got nuttier as the weekend went on. But then at some point on Monday morning,

like early Monday morning, like two o'clock at Monday morning, the text messages just stopped. The phone calls just stopped. Like a hard stop. They went from hundreds of them every couple of hours to zero in many hours. And at first I thought, okay, she got the message, right? I'm not responding.

I'm not gonna egg her on. Obviously she's upset about something that hurt her cool down for a good period of time. Like a couple of weeks and then we'll talk about what happened and hopefully we can be friends in the end. On. Oh my God. This still gives me chills when'll talk about what happened and hopefully we can be friends in the end. On, oh my god, this still gives me chills when I talk about this. On Monday morning, I went into work at Clear Channel or maybe it was Tuesday morning because

yeah, I think Friday was the 23rd, then it was Christmas Eve, then it was Christmas and it was Monday that we all went back into work on the 26 because we all fucking were pissing and mowing and we had to back into work on the 26 because we all fucking were pissing and mowing. And we had to be at work on the 26. Right. I get into work Monday. And I got one text message coming across from Casey's phone that said, is this Brian? And I responded.

What? I was like, what? Of course, you know, it's Brian. It's coming from Casey's phone So I showholy this I'm like look at this weird text You guys are office. I was in my office. Yeah, I would go in there and do your office I was there in talk and Yeah, and the next test text message chilled me to my core still does to this day the next test message said this is Casey's mother Casey killed herself last night.

Geez. And I just wanted you to know because she talked about you a lot. Hody and I were in my office with our mouths on the floor. Freaking out, really. Yeah, I mean, freaking out. Totally freaking out. Thinking someone just died. Someone just died.

Someone just died. What's that? A thinking. Someone just died. Someone just died someone just died someone just died what's that thinking thinking someone just died it's right but what else were we to think there was no other thing to think clearly this woman had had had had after so afternoon was cleared yeah the schedule was clear Chrissy and I were now sludes internet slew and we were gonna get to the bottom of how this happened and did we have anything to do with it did we have anything to do with it? Did we have anything to do with it?

By just basically not responding to the craziness that happened after she showed up uninvited. Listen, one incident you showed up on uninvited. I didn't yell back at her. I just said, hey listen, I told you we were gonna see each other in a couple of days, like please don't come over to my house uninvited, it's rude. But she just went crazy, and it got crazier and crazier.

So over the course of the afternoon, we go from thinking Casey is dead to the next step is, and I don't even know her mother, I've never met her parents, I don't know any of her friends, we've never been, we stayed at the house every time we went out, we just stayed at my house. I don't even know who she hangs around with.

She had moved recently from wherever California, New York, wherever she was. I knew one person and one person only. I had randomly text another woman she worked with because we were supposed to meet up for coffee or something like that. All three of us were supposed to meet up from coffee. And Casey asked me if she could use my phone

to text that woman. And I went back to the text messages and I looked at those text messages. And I found that girl's phone number and I texted her. All right, maybe I called her. I can't remember, but I spoke with her. I emailed on your blog there. Oh, email them.

I've liked my blog for, oh, maybe I BBM'd her. And Patty said, you, I thought you died in the great blackberry Wars of 2005. The Great Blackberry Wars of 2005. To BBM or to not BBM. BBMing was the best fact then. It was like, I message, but even better. Yeah, because it just happened so fast. And so I call this, I think her name is Katrina or something. I call this or text and I say, I cannot believe what happened.

And I am so very sorry, but I need to ask you if you know any of the… You're all arranged. Yeah, if you know arrangements, do you know any of the details? What happened? And Katrina says, well, I don't know what you're talking about because she was in here at work this morning and then she went home claiming she was sick. And I was like, what? She, what time did that happen?

Let's see, she sent the text message to me, or someone sent the text message to me at 9 a.m. from her mother, quote unquote. She had been at work until noon. So now I know, now I'm on to it. So now I start calling local hospitals. Nope, no one's dead, no one died, no one came in here. And about two days later, she rose from the grave miraculously

to respond to, so eventually, Chrissy and I get to the bottom of this and we're like, fuck that bitch, like that's totally out of control. You can't just claim your fucking bed. You can't fake your own suicide. That's insane. That's insane.

No one should do that. That's miserable. And it's fucking Christmas. Don't do it. So, Chrissy and I, Chrissy and I get to the bottom of this and we just decide, I decide that I'm no longer gonna speak to this girl ever again in my entire life.

But two days later, she popped up from the dead. And she was like, I'm so sorry, I'm actually in the hospital. I wasn't dead, my mom thought I was dead, but I wasn't dead. And I'm like, okay, well, please, come on. No, I don't know if you were a mom thought, but you were dead. Who thinks anybody's dead?

What do you think somebody's dead? Northside hospital. Yes, this is Casey's mother, and I wanted to find out what her situation is. Ah, yeah, let me check her charts right here. Yep, I think she's dead. You think she's dead? Yes, we've put her as possibly dead. Oh my gosh, she's possibly dead.

Yes, it's a possible. We're waiting for the testries. We're waiting for the testries. I'll stick up. Now. Okay, well, I just let everyone know she's possibly dead. How do you, how do you, maybe dead? What the fuck is that?

It was the most unbelievably unnerving thing I have ever been through with a woman. Yeah, there was a whole fucking cuckold. I was a whole so chill, my friends. But I will never forget in my entire life, ever forgot, my good friend, my dear friend, Chrissy HODLY, and the way that she walked through all of this beautifully and wonderfully together with me, and you were just there to support me.

The Christmas tree, the happy holiday. Don't get too close. My name is that congruence and I've got some things to say. Oh, he's here for you, Brian. Thanks, baby. Well, look at that. You came on my podcast, and now we're a number one hit show. I never wanted to show. Now we're a number one hit show in the world. With a number one is show in the world. Can you believe that?

No. Hey, speaking of the most number one is show in the world. So every once in a blue moon, when we find a show that we like, or a show finds us and they like us, they'll ask us to say a little few words about them and introduce them, and we'll say a few, and they'll say a few words about us on their show. It's called a swap, and yeah, I don't even get in all the technical details, but I thought I wouldn't bullshit you either.

We listen to a show called Don't Blow Your Pod, which, yeah, don't blow your pod is really fucking funny. So, you know, we used to do like these comedy skits, or once and while we do these comedy skits at the beginning of the show, it's called The Bit. And basically, it's us making funny voices and coming up with, you know, scripted skits that we think are funny.

These. Dandy, Mcdanderson. No, Dandy, Danderson. Oh, I'm, this is Dandy Danderson. On the scene here at the Georgia P. Can Mall. I think, listen to that the other day, that's pretty funny. So, don't blow your pod is a hilarious podcast that does this type of comedy, but for the entire podcast

and they bring on special guests and they bring on comedians. And I am telling you, shit you not. It is legitimately hilarious. Like they do it so much better than we do, because they really produce them, and they're well written, and they have a Christmas special going on right now. You can find it on every major podcast provider.

It's called Don't Blow Your Pod. And speaking of charts, they are also on the charts, too. They're actually, they're actually have been higher than us on the charts. We're in a war. We're in a, we're in a chart war. But we are the number one is to this week.

That's all I have to say. Don't blow your pod. It's a really funny podcast. We hope that you jump over there and take a listen. So thanks to, thanks to the guys over there for doing a little promo swap with us. They're awesome. They're amazing. And I hope we can get one of them on the show here soon because they're really ball-bustingly

funny. That's a great idea. To have one of them on the show. What I'd like to do is I'd like to do a skit with them. That's what I'd like to do. I'd like to do a bit with them. Yeah, where we sit down and we write a bit, some of their characters, some of our characters, and then we do a bit and we can run that on both of the shows, right? So the bit. You're going to sit down six feet apart. Well, yeah, of course, COVID formation. Tom Cruise, COVID formation. Look at this hair. This is amazing. I kept this on the entire time. It's really funny. And the fact is that when you sit in a certain way, just right there,, it looks like there's a horn coming out of you.

I'm the picture behind you. I've been looking at you and blonde hair and a dead one bevel horn. I love this. I think it's so cool. I'm a fixer. I think they're great. Yeah, weeks are great. I bought like 13 of them.

Just for shits and giggles, I bought like 13 of them. I can't wait to wear one. Yeah, we do great. I bought like 13 of them. Just for shits and giggles, I bought like 13 of them. I can't wait to wear one. Yeah, so it's going to come to fruition. Listen, this is the end of season one. We appreciate everyone listening. We appreciate everyone that's jumped on. We've enjoyed some incredible success.

Honestly, we started this podcast with no expectations, and that's probably exactly where we should have started the podcast, because we anticipated no one would listen. A hundred thousand listeners later, we cannot thank you enough for listening to the show and for tuning in each week. We really appreciate it. Now, go to the commercial break on Instagram and follow us so we can start getting you engaged in the show. That's our next step. We'll be back for season two. The first week in January, we hope you have a wonderful Christmas, but for you or not, there will be commercial break episodes for the next two weeks. We're going to be doing the best of season one. So, Chrissy, what else do you have

to say to the listeners? We love you. We appreciate you. And hope you have a safe and happy holiday because things are getting crazy out there right now with COVID. Things are getting and hope you have a safe and happy holiday because things are getting crazy out there right now with COVID. Things are getting crazy out there with COVID. Yeah, stay six feet apart. Don't maybe get the investors involved. That's all I have to say.

Fuck! I feel like when I scream like that, look at my face, how it gets red. I feel like it's all crazy. It's all crazy. Fuck! We'd like to give a big shout out to Allison Hare for helping us out throughout the entire season

for motivating us. Thank you, Allison, to Rachel McGrath for jumping on. Yes, thank you, Rachel. Yes, to all the beautiful people, to all the beautiful people, to marry to our girl and married at first sight Michelle We love you to Astrid and Yes to Astrid and Gustavo who have been

indispensable this entire year putting all of the production together Jeff has been Jeff He was a guest on one of the shows he was a guest on a couple of the shows actually it'll be on the best of They'll be also it'll be on the best of the be also. There'll be a lot of good marriage advice to Jeff and I go to bed mad. Go to bed mad. Always go to bed mad gives you an excuse to drink early in the morning. Resonate. That's the one that's really helped us the most is to just go to bed mad every night. That's it. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Whatever you celebrate, whoever you celebrate it with may it bring you a lot of joy and a lot of love. Let the year of our Lord 20 fucking 20 come to an end. Yeah, and we will see you for season number two. And the first week in January, we love you. We'll get through this.

Bye! Bye I'm not a fan of the you