The Commercial Break - VIP At The Pearly Gates!

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Frankie B is back to help us determine our S.M.V. (Sessual Market Value)! He has an equation all worked out for adding a little currency to our love lives. He also knows that some people are just not getting heaven....not with that ugly mug! Some of us are destined to get VIP at The Pearly gates. C the trucker is involved in a successful Poly relationship C wants to have a baby. TCB advises Americans ship their old folks to a home far-far away Call 911 for emergencies. But who do you call for Dominos and aspirin?? TheDirty is a horrible website Bad reviews are trickiling in Bros are getting swoll Bryan is weak and skinny Facebook ends tagging...years ago! Instagram Reel dude is irritating Bryan Bryan was a cone head baby Frankie is back with an equation for SMV (Sessual Market Value) LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every fucking person in this place Fances me On this episode of the commercial break What's this document you need me to sign? That's called the power of a turning Okay, we're getting an attorney. Oh, yeah, kind of Oh yeah, kind of. Hi, I'm today. I go. What are you doing in case of emergency 911? I said good job. So imagine if I was like, what are you doing case dad's drunk? Domino's

Domino's an aspirin daddy. That's right son Pull that emergency handle. It's time for dominoes and aspirin Good looking people get to the front of the line at the pearly gates Horrible looking people they're gonna be in purgatory for a long time The pearly gates are like a VIP section The next episode of the commercial break starts now Yeah, Katzikin's welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend. And co-host, Kristen Joy, holy best to you over there, Kristi.

And, best to you, Brian. Best to you all there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. The commercial break. It's not for everyone, but Fag News or Fiction is guaranteed in 30 seconds or less. You heard it here last. So I'm gonna say, trying to shorten this whole... Ha ha ha ha ha hole Good intro up. Hey, I you know, I've been getting like us, you know, I'm texting with all the people that are texting us on the 5 TCBA 3-8-3 And there's a I think I told you that we had like a female trucker, right?

That you did miss a nap. Yeah, huh? We have a lot of truckers actually. I think this is like the fifth or sixth trucker that said hey, I really enjoy listening to the show While I'm driving around you know long haul truck it and One or two of them have been females, but one let's refer to her as C. We'll say her name is C, right? What up see Show us your headlights So she was explaining to me and I think I said this on the show before, that she isn't a polyamorous relationship, it's actually working for everybody.

That's right. And so I asked for the backstory and man did I get it, I got like 10 pages of backstory to this whole thing. And let me like cut to the chase a little bit. So she, the guy was, you know, with this woman and then she met, he met C and then they decided that they were just gonna kinda make it work and the wife is not, the wife is not a very sexual person and C is and so it just kinda works for everybody. When she's not on the road, she's with this guy.

When she's on the road, he's with his wife. Alright, by what work? Everybody seems to be happy and everything seems to be working swimmingly. This has been going on for a while now. Well, she texted the other day and she says, hey, listen, I really want to have a baby. Like, I'm getting to that, I'm having that moment in life where I want a kid,

and I don't really know how to approach this with my polyamorous husband. Can you give me some advice on this? Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, let's do our best, Chrissy. That's not where we have another relationship here at the commercial break. Oh my gosh. She said, how do I convince my significant other to have a child when he has never mentioned it? Like, it's never been a topic of conversation for the two of them. Okay. Well, that could be. Yeah,

that's the first start. It's probably you need to mention that you want to chat, right? Yes, that's right. Wait, so she's married to her husband, and then they have another woman involved. No, no, no, no, she's the other one. She's the other one. Okay, got it. She's the non-married one.

Right, she's on the, she's like the third person in the relationship. Right. She came after they had already been together. They were high school sweethearts, the married couple, were high school sweethearts, and now they have this polyamorous relationship going on. But C, wants to have a kid, and she doesn't really know how to broach this topic.

Listen C, if that's sister wife, is there any indication of how things are going with the polyamorous community? Do you know this show, sister wife? Ah, yes. The guy, I can't remember his name, but who fucking cares? He's such an asshole. Four different families. Okay. It's got four different families. Well, two have left him. I just saw a red season a lot. I read that, yes. So while I hate this fucking show, and I think that guy is, it's like the worst man on earth. He is such an asshole to all his wives

and it's always their fault. He's never to blame for anything. Geez. I just dislike this guy with such a passion. He's had two of his wives leave in just a short period of time and now you can imagine the collateral damage that's gonna come for the 47 fucking kids he has

with these four kids. He's got a ton of children. He's got like 29 kids or something like that. I don't know how, I don't know how you even begin to wrap your head around that. I have two fucking children, and I need to go to the mental ward every three weeks. That's what I need. You can do your sandwich, badly.

Sends annex. So I think the first step in any loving relationship when you wanna have a child is to do loving relationship when you want to have a child Is to do the following Find someone that has a child and I'm not talking like a seven or a 10 year old I'm talking like a very young child someone between the ages of one and three and hang out with them Hang out with them for one fucking hour. Oh, how about over a whole like two days? Two days. Yeah. Two days. That's a long time. It'll it'll change your mind.

Take my kids. See, take them for two days and then tell me how you feel about children afterwards. I think the first step for anybody that's considering having children is to be around children because holy shit. They don't work. Yeah, they do not come as advertised. You know, you see the pamper's commercial and how cute they are when they're wrapped up in that little bunion or whatever they have and all the other ones having fun with them.

But then you got to change their shitty darpits, diapers, they're vomiting everywhere. All they wanna say is, why, why, why, why, why? I'm telling you right now, see, you want children? Hang out with children. That'll cure you real quick. But if you still decide afterwards

that you wanna have children, then I- We'll have that calling, you know, and they wanna do it. I would think though that this would might present a wrinkle in the blanket here- A wrinkle in time? A wrinkle in the blanket with the job that she's doing with going long haul. I don't know either.

But maybe that's where the married couple comes in. They can take care of the baby while she's out. Yeah, but she just had, she has a baby. I'm not sure she's going to want to leave that kid. I know, it has time. You get mama bear. You get mama bear after you have a kid. But here's the other thing I suggest.

After you hang out with the children, and I suggest hanging out with more than one, like get two at a time, and that'll really cure you of any kind of baby fever that you have. If you still have baby fever after said period of time with someone else's children, ask to see their bank account for the last year. Highlight anything that says, has anything to do with children whatsoever?

Total that up, subtract that from your current income, and then that's step number two, and then if you still want to have children, then you've got to approach this guy, and you've got to figure out a situation that works best for everyone. I'm not talking about a sister-wife situation, where everyone gets their own households and the guy just ignores everybody, he just runs around ignoring everybody. You have to figure out a situation that works best because you're gonna want, if you can, you're gonna want mom and dad involved in it,

or mom and mom or dad and dad, or whatever it is. Yes. Two parenting, a two parent, I have such a fucking respect for people. Oh, single parents. Single parents, more dad. Mom and dad, whoever it is, yeah. It's both insane.

Yeah. How could you ever raise a child by yourself? I just don't understand how that could happen. It seems really hard. And yet we know people who have done this, and I have a mad amount of respect for people who decide to take on that challenge or who have to take on that challenge for one reason to the other. That's, it's fucking insanity. I thought about that too.

I would rather jump out of an airplane with my child's binky and hope that I could turn it into a parachute before I hit the ground Then be a single parent aim it only shit. Where's the title? Yes, yes, it's tough. You're gonna have to navigate these waters because he's he's got a wife and You're coming late to the party even though you guys have been around for a long time. Yeah I don't make the first step is just to somehow bring it up. I don't know. It's you just got to broach the subject. You got to say, Hey, Bob, I got baby fever.

I want to have a kid. I'm going to destroy your personal time. You're never going to sleep again and you're going to have no money. But what do you think? But man, all the joy that will come with it, watch this Pampers commercial. I get mad at those Pampers commercials, because they make everything look so cute. They do look ideal.

Yeah, change a three day old diaper, and see how you feel about a children. It's like this weird mucus that comes out of them. They're like aliens. But no, Pampers makes it look all fun. It looks like shitits and giggles literally. You have to talk to your guy. Yeah, honestly, I think you got a brooch subject

with both of them, because it's gonna affect everybody in this situation. I absolutely agree. Yeah, yes. And while I don't get the sense from reading this long text message that the three of them do a lot of communicating together, like I think it's kind of separate.

He goes with his wife, he goes with, see, you know, he spreads this time. I still think this has got to be like a triangular conversation because it will affect everybody. And if C continues to do the trucking, then she's going to need somebody that's going to help care for the baby and whether that's going to be her boyfriend or that's going to be the both of them on the other side. That's a big conversation to have. Yeah, it's a big deal. But I get it. I understand baby fever. Listen, children are good for some things. I haven't figured that out yet, but when I figure it out, I will let you know what they're going to say.

Well, hopefully they take care of you when you're old, right? Yeah. Welcome to America where we do not take care of our old folks. That's the thing. It's here in the United States. Like, you go to any other country in the world, Spain, Venezuela, and most countries, right? Africa, Latin America, it's like, it's a right of passage. Yeah, they're a part of the family they live with the families. That's right. They die with the family.

When someone gets old and is having trouble, like they're going a little bit backwards, the family circles up and they pass the, you know, they pass them around. Always loved, always feeling good, never a burden, nothing like that. Here in the United States, we literally ship our old people into a really shitty old people's home. We lock the doors and then we tell the place to call them when they're dead. Call us when they're dead. It's horrible.

So here in the United States, we just don't have that kind of mental. I think we should have that mentality, but we don't. More so. And I think we should have that mentality mainly because I know I'm coming right. It's right around the corner for me. Yeah. Make sure to keep doing a commercial break. Matthias isn't Italy at the kicking school.

Matthias isn't Italy in the cooking school. Matthias isn't Italy! Driving a new Ferrari! He's learning how to be a race car driver! Okay honey! Uh, me and Chris are gonna do a couple more episodes! You better! What's this document you need me to sign? That's called a power of a dirty!

What's this document? You need me to sign. That's called a power of a turning. Hahaha. Oh, okay, we're getting an attorney. Oh, yeah, kind of. Hahaha. Also, please sign the bank account information. Haha, yeah. I know it's coming from me, so I'm like, I'm, you know, my kids are going to be taking

care of me when they're like 16 years old. I'm an old dad. I'm an old dad. And think God, I'm an old dad. You know, these kids are probably be taken away from me already by now. If I was a young dad back when we were just going to know each other, please. I'd be like a, I'm a poster of defects most of all, it's father. Yeah. How could I have ever survived the children? I don't know. There's just no way. I would have put him in so much danger.

Yes. So much danger. I get him done to the pool with your Bud lights. Yeah, with my Bud lights and what? You need a life jacket? What are you talking about? Get in there and swim. Lifeguard's cute.

Let's watch her jump off the stand. Oh Hey Put that knife down or slice me up some cheese. One of the two or cut some lemon. Yeah, cut some lemon. Yeah, cut some lemon. Her C's back of tonic Oh, Matthias, do your dad a favor and uh, call Dominoes real quick. Pepperoni's an olives. I know. Imagine the Mattias do the Dominoes for the number.

I asked him today, I go, what are you doing in case of emergency? 9-1-1, I said good job son. Imagine if I was like, what are you doing in case dad's drunk? Dominoes. Um. Dominoes and aspirin daddy. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes.

It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes.

It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes.

It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It's dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. It dominoes. And asprin daddy. That's right, son lists. By the way, just to wrap that up, good luck to see. And please keep us posted. Yeah, good luck, see, yeah, please keep us posted. Yeah, I think it's real simple. The communication is the key to everything.

You can say anything you want to anybody, it's all about how you say it. And you just got to warm that guy. You know, do it right after you guys make love. Or right before you make love is what I would say. Right before you have sex. Right before the moment of impact, go, I want children!

And then hold his butt real hard so you just get, gets right in there. Get that ovulation calendar out, kids. Time to accidentally get pregnant. So, Chrissy and I have a disparate lists across many different platforms. There's like four or five people that have access to these lists. They're on Google Drive. They're on the to-do list. They're on notes.

They're on text messages. They're on WhatsApp. Yeah. We have email. We have lists everywhere. And in season number three, we accrued an incredible amount of ideas for content for the commercial break. But as you can imagine,

most of them never got put into play. Most of them never got put into play because Chrissy and I can't stick to the topic for one fucking minute we can't. We just always go off on something else. So we have a whole shitload of things we haven't talked about and we've already spent one episode kind of going through the list and so I decided we're going to call out some more of these. Let's do it. We're going to do rapid fire succession,

no context whatsoever. We're just we're just going to do it. Ready? Yes. The dirty.com is still a website. Do you know what the dirty.com is? The dirty.com. No. You don't know what the dirty. com is still a website do you know what the dirty dot com is dirty dot com now you don't know the dirty dot com is now so that it for those of the don't know this is a this is a way to early two thousand's thing but it's still around to this day the dirty dot com is a place where you can submit pictures photographs and information of any other human being on earth and how much you hate them and why you hate that oh no it. It's an awful fucking website. It's an awful website. I mean, it's like the worst of the worst. Remember that revenge porn website that was going around for a while, whatever it was called?

I don't know, what it was called, a fapening or something, whoever knows. Yeah, that got shut down, huh? That got shut down because that guy was like defrauding people. Yes. But he was not necessarily doing anything. Maybe he was doing something illegal. Maybe he was like taking,

like it's revenge porn in a lot of states as he leaves. Is illegal, yes. But this isn't revenge porn because they're not putting up, that I know of, they're not putting up nude photographs of anybody. Okay. They're using images from social media. They're a rant. Only fans.

Yeah, and then someone writes a rant about somebody posts it on the dirty and then hundreds of thousands of people every month read through this shit. It's mainly women, as you can imagine, they're getting most of this hate, and it's an awful fucking website. Like, to put somebody up there, and then they have whether, whether or not the accusations are true, whether or not somebody sleeps with a certain amount of people is completely irrelevant. And to put that information, you have to be like, you have to have such hate in your fucking heart to put somebody up on that page, and then just write some fucking ignorant rant about them. I know, it's like the person that just gave us one star.

I know, you just see that. Yes, I did. Not funny, don't know how this show is so highly rated. We get one of those, like every three months so we get one of those. And actually, I can't blame the guy. I'm like, she got it. But he hated us so much that he wrote about it.

Yeah, I know. He just liked the commercial break. He just turned it, don't let dude get it. His name was like, do I doodle or something like that too. Good even put his real name. What did he say? He said, this show sucks, not funny. Can't believe it's so highly rated.

Or something along those lines. And I was like, yeah, you, you, you, but he said he listened to two episodes too. It was like, listen to two episodes. This show is not funny. Can't believe it's so high. Stay away. Stay away. Just spend 30 minutes trying to figure out Apple podcast reviews. Remember the scene in private parts, you know the Howard Stern movie, private parts. Yeah, I haven't seen it a while, but there's a part in the in the movie that I often refer to in life because I think about this and I'm and I'm and I thought about it when I read this

Howard goes on Overnights in New York and he goes, you know, it's talking for four hours about dildos and lesbians, right? Yes, porn stars. porn stars. So Total Shock Jock came right out of the gate first couple of weeks in on this big New York radio station and the people at CBS who had hired him are really trying to figure out a way they get him fired because they realize quickly they made a big mistake. Yeah, hiring Howard.

They thought they made a big mistake. They thought they did. Yeah. Because radio has such a great track record of making great decisions around content and talent. Fuckin' A-Gran. great decisions around content and talent. Yes, fucking A. Grant. So, manager, president comes in one morning and there's a big phone bank like a bunch of people in these cubicles and the phones are going crazy and he says, what's going on?

She says, it's Howard. And what about Howard? Well, we've had about 1600 phone calls complaining about Howard and he says, well, how many did you get that where people actually liked him? And she says, I don't know, like, 100. And he goes, 1600 people called and complained about how we got it. And she said, no, no, no, what you don't understand is

the 1600 people that hated him listened to him two hours more than the people who liked it. Right. So people were, hey, listening to him. So more than the people who liked it. Right. So people were, hey, listening to him. So this jack-off listens to two episodes and has to take 30 minutes out of his day to figure out Apple Podcasts and leave review. Your opinion is valid.

It's noted. But did you have to write it on Apple Podcasts? You broke our streak of really good reviews. That's the part that pisses me off the most. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few. Is that you can't make an omelet without breaking a... Well, it's... You can't break an omelet without making a few... You mean, say it's not for everyone.

It's not for everybody, it's not. And I have no sway over whether or not it's highly rated. I don't do any of that. I pay people to do that. TheDirty.com is a website whose time has come. I think it should be shut down i do too uh...

did you notice that that bros are getting swole the bros are getting swole okay like muscular like muscular okay because it it's a trend it's been trending for a while and i don't know if you've noticed but i have and there's been some commentary on it around the internet like artlet's for today is that i don't know but not everybody wanted to be been some commentary on it around the internet too. What do you mean? Like Arnold Schwarzenegger's been around since the 7-Dude. I know, but not everybody wanted to be Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 70s.

Like it hasn't always been trendy to be very muscular. Okay. But now all the bros are getting swole. And I think it has to do, I think we all, this all comes back to Jason fucking Mamoa if on being honest. I mean, I was gonna bring him up. Because the bros are going, that dude's hot.

Like I want to be like that dude. But all the bros are getting swole. And there's this one dude who has been partly responsible for some of this content online encouraging bros to get swole. And there's a million guys that love this dude, right? He's huge, right? And all the muscles and the musklers, and I mean, muscle popping out of his eyeballs.

His eyebrows literally have muscles. So he's been doing this for years swearing off any kind of anabolic steroids. What's so ever? Turns out Guy was on all the antibiotics. I did read about that. Did you read about that? Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's like, you know, Yeah, it's crazy. It's like, you know, like I'm gonna get some cocaine I'm gonna be crazy Well, but I have a I have a word of caution for the guys who get swole When you get swole, it's all well-fined good you look great You're gung you're in shape or you're older and you're in shape. It's all wonderful

But the second that let's just say you have a kid. When you have a kid, you're not going to get so swole. You don't want to know why they take all your fucking time. The second for some reason, you have to stop working out like that. That muscle is going to turn into something and it's going to turn into fat. So my advice is stay skinny and weak like me. And when someone tries to fight you, you crawl up into a ball like a little girl. Like a pork you pie. Roll up. Yes.

And you go to your magical place. Go to your magical princess castle. Put some glitter on. Please don't hurt me. Right off on't hurt me right off on a unicorn right off on a unicorn I usually say something like I am here in a mouth syndrome don't hurt me bro I might be yes in other news you heard of your last Facebook and did tagging did you know that?

No I didn't. Two years ago. Oh that's just how much I use Facebook. Two years ago I never use Facebook anymore. Who uses Facebook anymore? Who really uses Facebook anymore? A lot of people. There's one, there's two particular people on,

you know I do my like hate watching on Instagram just like a lot of people do on the commercial break they do the hate listening I do my hate watching on Instagram I sent Chrissy yet another Instagram for those of you that didn't catch this episode there's a dude on my Instagram who starts off every Instagram like every Instagram live and he does or or real and he does this like 16 times a day and this is how he does it. Oh yeah it's recording with Bon Jovi yesterday and he told, or, or, or, or, real, and he does this like 16 times a day. And this is how he does it. Oh, yeah, it's recording with Bon Jovi yesterday and he told me he wanted to come over to, hey, everybody, it's Brian. Just here on my reel.

Yeah, he acts like he's in the middle of a conversation on a, on the phone or in the studio. Yeah, every time he opens up a rea, catch you next time. Bye, Lady Gaga. Hey, you guys. Hey, guys, anyway, hey, it's just me. Brian, here, this is Lady Gaga. She just walked off. Anyway, I wanted to show you guys my brand new shoes.

Yeah, and then he talks about something that doesn't make any sense. Makes no sense whatsoever. The guys just walk to the talks and circles. I have no idea what he's saying. He's a lovely human being. I mean, he's a nice guy, but his real game is soft, man. It's soft. Not like my real game is any better But his real game is soft He's he just has no but the other day

He put on yet another real where he was in the middle of a conversation with somebody and then all the sudden he's in a real Right, it's like I'm in the middle of talking to someone else. I forgot you were there. I forgot that I had pressed record on the real I was just here talking to Tom Cruise. I just got done with my date with Penelope Cruise. So, Facebook has become like a desert. And there's two people on that Facebook that I didn't get rid of in the big Facebook purge of 2018. Because I just purged a bunch of people in 2018.

I need to do that. You need to do it. Who cares anymore? Facebook's dead, doesn't really matter. I don't have it on my phone anymore. Facebook is gonna be my space in five years. I guarantee it. It's gonna know when it's gonna be on Facebook.

They really did a number on themselves. And that's a whole different story. I don't wanna get into it. But, so there's two people that I really, really dislike and they always post the most negative stuff You can it's always oh me pour me everybody else is trying to hurt me Everyone else is ganging up on me. You know the whole world sucks I noticed the people do that. Yeah you suck. They suck everyone sucks. It's your fault I did nothing wrong. They want the sympathy. It's like and these are obviously these people are obviously lonely

So I do have some empathy for them, but they're not gonna get my Social sympathy. I'm not gonna spend my time making them feel better publicly because that's just a weird game to play It is weird, right? It's like I'm in a relationship with you and I'm gonna calm you down because you're having a bad day So there's two people and so I was on Facebook. I probably checked Facebook once a week, let's say. I told Facebook, I don't even have it on my phone. I just opened up that branch. I was gonna say that, yeah, I'm about the same schedule. So I go and I check out these two particular people.

One is still ranting about politics, like just cannot stop ranting about everything about politics. And it's, he used to get, I don't know, I'm gonna say he used to get like between 20 and 50 likes or comments on every single post that he made because he was just one of those guys. Like, you know, he was a relatively nice guy. Then he went way off the deep end on the politics

and now in the last, I count it, in the last 12 posts that he's made, he has not gotten one interaction because people are like, we're fucking sick of a dude. Doesn't matter who you voted for, no one fucking cares, okay, get over it, right? And then the other guy who just wants sympathy all the time, Omey poor me, he's like, he's living his life on Facebook. He hasn't had an interaction in like four months, four months, no one is interacted with this Facebook page at all.

You would think that you would just stop using Facebook altogether. Like obviously it's not working. You're not getting what you need out of Facebook. He is using it as a diary. It's a fucking miserable diary, man. If I go back, it's, fuck, I'm gonna off myself. If I go back in and read that, I mean, it's just horrible.

It's just such, such a putrid shit. And Facebook in general is just putrid shit. It can be. How long has it been since you posted on Facebook? It's been a while. Months? Yeah, yeah. Has it been months?

I think I'm like once a year now. Yeah, I do it on anniversary and birthday. Right. Just to let you know that I know that you're watching me post about my beautiful life. Right. That's it. And I don't even say happy birthday to anybody anymore. I'm like, who fucking it's so stupid.

If I, if it's the day that I jump on that I do check it, I will give it a heart. Those people have a birthday birthday. Oh, you give them a happy birthday? Yeah. I noticed like at the, at the zenith of my Facebook career, I got like 150 likes on a post, right? But I always kept my Facebook circle kind of small. I never like, I didn't allow people that I didn't really know all that well

to be on the Facebook. But I remember one post getting like a hundred and fifty 200 likes and I was like, oh, great, wonderful. And I think that was like my engagement to Astrid. And about 200 people are so liked it right I I just can't even imagine getting three people to like one of my I think the last I think my last birthday I got like two people that said happy birthday You were one of them and my wife was the other one

My twin brother didn't even say happy birthday on Facebook. I'm miserable is that to tell him happy birthday Yeah, but I wait till the end of the day. I like to you know I know my mom's gonna call and give him the birth story that we choose meant to the birth story the fucking birth story Okay, you gave birth mom we get all right You know in the labor freight out. I mean not the diminished birth. It's a really incredible thing Yeah, it is and it's important for life. I lead dangerous and incredibly difficult So say you. But that birth story, every year for however many years, it's like, okay, I know, mom, I was

born at 8.56, you were in labor for eight hours, I was the cutest thing you'd ever seen, but I wasn't the cutest thing because my head, because I was the first one out of the badge, right? It was coned, totally coned and I was black and blue because I got bruised up on the way out the cervix. And I was a really, really ugly looking child. I looked miserable. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of pictures of Kevin between ages zero days and four weeks. There's one of me, one picture. And I am literally look like a bruise fruit. Kevin's like, thanks, bro. Thanks for saving away. Thanks for saving the way. I look like a pizza. I look like a bruise fruit. Kevin's like, thanks bro. Thanks for the way. Thanks for the way. I look like a peach that's been sitting for too

long. That's what I look like. But you know, Facebook was auto-tagging for a while and they just decided they're gonna stop doing that. So now you don't get auto-tagged. That's just creepy in the first place. It was. And then I was like showing up and I people were taking pictures and then I get tagged It was that facial recognition thing. Yeah, so now they have the world's largest face facial recognition database Facebook does and You know marks gonna use that in some way that we don't like they probably already is

He's now he's working on that metaverse and that metaverse I hear is like empty is shit like no one's in there No one gives a shit unless of course you go to a Twitter NFT space you know it's spaces like clubhouse. Oh right. So I drop into Twitter the other day because I've I've never used fucking Twitter in my life. I've had an account I scroll through every once in a while. We're talking every once in a while is like once every three months. I never post anything the one time I post something Seth Rogan liked my tweet. Oh, that's right.

Remember that? Yeah. Or my response or my tweet or whatever. So now that that fucking what's his name, Elon Snussk is there running the place like a drunk soldier trying to get out of the war. He is so fucking that place up. I know.

I am fascinated by Twitter now. Now I want to be on Twitter 24 as a day. I'm always on it, like looking to see what drama is next. So that he took down spaces and then he put spaces back up. Yeah. Okay. So I go on the other day and I'm like, oh, let me see what's going on in the spaces.

See if it's still there. It's down. And it's 75 different fucking NFT rooms. And they are all talking, it sounds like a nice enough community. I mean, there are lovely people behind NFTs, right? But we've talked about NFTs and how I feel about it. I feel it's a little much. Yeah.

So we're in this, and I'm in the center of team room. And Chrissy, I've never heard so much fluffing going on in my entire life. Everybody fluffing each other off, you know. You're the greatest, no you're the greatest. You know everybody, no you know everybody. I love everybody, no you love everybody. It was, everybody was fluffing everybody up.

Every speaker that came up was the best thing that's ever happened since sliced bread. Everybody who had a project was the best project that they've ever heard of. It was like guys, life is not like that. Everything can't be the best. The best is the best. And that's why it's the best.

It's one thing. That's the best. Not seven things are the best. One thing is the best. There's not a best movie. When you go and you watch the Academy Awards and they say, best picture, there's one that gets chosen.

Not five. And there's a reason why. And that's because best is singular, not plural. But in an NFT room, it's plural. It's like everything's the best. It was driving me crazy. I just wanted to reach through spaces and pull out that room and throw it on the floor

and step on it. But maybe I'm just angry. You should have posted about that on Facebook. I should. I can't, they don't allow links anymore. So you can't. You can't, you know, what is Elon doing? I don't they don't allow links anymore. You can't. You can't. Elon's what is Elon doing? I don't know.

You can't link to another social media. I like a train rack. It's a total train rack. Yeah. He's a report. I listened to that spaces where he was like the reporter asked him a question and then he shut spaces down and took away everybody's credentials. Yeah, then he gave him back.

Then he gave him back three hours later and then he had a vote on it. Does anybody really think Elon gonna step down as the CEO of Twitter? No. Because he spent $44 billion out of it. He's not making a goddamn dime. He's gonna stay the CEO until that thing burns to the ground. And then it's gonna be a big tax write off. So the guy's gonna win either way. I didn't think about that.

Motherfucker drives me crazy. All right, we've spent, we got through three items in 36 minutes, so that's good. Yeah. We did great rapid fire there. Uh, okay. Chrissy, dealer's choice. So we've had a lot of people that have been texting us about what their favorite segment or segment is for.

Yes, yes. And I took a voter poll. I just kind of took us like a little hash marks and decided. It's similar to Elon. Similar to Elon. I can kind of took us like a little hash marks and decided similar to Elon similar to Elon I can imagine that Elon's got a piece of paper and he's like that person's out that person's done. Yeah But I took a little poll and two things came up prominently mountain monsters and Frankie B. Oh, yeah, you know it

Most people who said mountain monsters also said that they liked Frankie B. Oh yeah, you know it. Most people who said mountain monsters also said that they liked Frankie B, but it was too much, right? There was too much Frankie B. So I noticed that like four of the people who voted for mountain monsters as their favorite segments this year, also said that Frankie B was too much. The people who voted for Frankie B

said they wish we had more Frankie B. I don't know how much more Frankie B we can do quite frankly. But because I promised that I would oblige if someone you know they wrote in and told us what their favorite segment was I have a Frankie B that is fucking incredible. Maybe his best work. Fresh Frankie. Fresh Frankie. Fresh hot off the presses. Days old. Or I have a mountain monsters, which is also pretty fucking brilliant. Hahaha.

So. What about Teresa Capuda? Dealer's choice. Dealer's choice. So at some point. Listen, I can only record one at a time, Chrissy. Yeah, I'm giving you two choices because you know, I don't want to confuse you.

I mean, I can't help. You are a woman. I can't help. Hahaha. That's right. I can't think. I can't want to confuse you. I mean I can't help you are a woman. I can't help That's right. I can't think I can't compute Hey girl, let me help you out with those decisions decisions are tough God didn't God took a rib an extra rib and put it into me Victory be a rib, an extra rib, and put it into me. Victory V. Victory V.

God give us big brains so we can lead you women around. So go ahead, try and make a decision, girl. I mean, I think I might have to just see what Frank is doing. See, it was hard for you to make that decision, wasn't it? You think you might. Wasn't there, Carl? Hey, simmer down.

Simmer down, I'm not gonna be able to drop down. Rev down, are you taking me to drop down? Rev down. I'm not going to be able to drop any more sacks of cash at your mom's place. All right, girl, what's your decision? I'm here to get cranky. Frankie B. I knew it because you like men that are rough around the edges. Just like Carl. Carl's like a young Frankie B. It's a Carl is. Carl's a Frankie B in training.

That's right. I wish Frankie was a preacher. Then we'd really have it all. Okay, then a Frankie B it is. One last time, season three, ladies and gentlemen, Frankie is that. I think this might have to be the the final farewell. This this is it This is it season four is not gonna contain any Frankie B for at least three weeks

We're gonna we're gonna abstain for at least the first three weeks of season four Until we just can't help ourselves. It's like an addiction. It is. I gotta get some cocaine. I gotta get some cocaine. It's like those shows that you hate, but you're like sister wives.

Yeah, I think you're infested. You're infested and you just wanna see what happens. I do, I do. I can't stop watching the 90 day fiance, my 600 pound, all those TLC shows, the fucking seven little john all of it I I don't want to watch them right but I can't help but watch them because now I'm invested in what they exactly and now I'm invested in Frankie and last time we met with Frankie he was super duper angry about his break up he was raging he was spewing some awful hate toward women. And so I'm hoping,

I'm hoping that he's going to calm down a little bit. Hello all my friends out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for listening to this episode of the commercial break. If you have any questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 1-855-TCB-8383. toll free from anywhere in the world. 855-TCB-8383. Toll free from anywhere in the world, 855-TCB-8383. Make sure to visit our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Full episodes air a few days after they do here on the audio feed and starting in season four,

the same day. You can go to the T-C-B podcast website at tcbpodcast.com. Here all the audio and watch all the video, you can also contact us all from tcbpodcast.com. Hear all the audio and watch all the video. You can also contact us all from tcbpodcast.com. Please follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and feel free to use our specialized URLs and or codes when you hear them on the commercials. Speaking of those sponsors,

let's take a moment here from them and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do, and Chrissy today, I have a special Frankie B for you. Frankie B's gonna tell us what the value

of our sexual currency is. Thank God. I wish we could put like a little Santa hat on Frankie. Hi. Morgan. Yeah, Morgan? Santa hat on Frankie. It's y'all be done Sexual market value probably something most guys don't even think assessable market value. Did he say Sessible, I think he said sensual. Let's hear that again

Sexual market value probably something most got there was almost an X Yes, I don't even think about come on everything's got value your homes got value your bank accounts got value your dick has value are is got value what about you as an individual can I just mention that Frank he looks a little off the rails a bit? Yeah, I'm gonna say that Frankie does look disheveled. Yeah, well, he's got his grays showing he usually does a lot of that and That's beard. Yeah, he's unshaven. It's like a five o'clock shadow I don't think Frankie's ever grown a full beard in his life Just the way his stubbles coming in and it looks like he's not one of those guys a sparse

You some guys are like that, right? He's probably got lots of ass hair, but he doesn't have any hair in his chin. All right. But he does look a little less put together than he normally does. And if I don't mind saying so myself, his eyes look a little tired and a little old, like he hasn't done the barbed wire in a while, and he's get back to the barbed wire on Botox. Yeah. I wonder, I hope Frank is okay.

How do two? Don't you have value? You should, especially. If you don't you have value, you should. It's great. We need Franky to give my friend on Facebook and PevTalk. Yes. Don't you have value?

You should. You should, it's great thing. Or in the dating scene. You know, this is a game you have to win and to be desirable to women in an order to be desirable to women you got to have sexual market value and in today's video I'm gonna give you a few smv bad V-Basem V-Sexual Market Value Going once going twice three times so we'll start at three dollars for Brian's penis three dollars anybody three dollars three dollars One of the sudden I'll go down to two fifty five two fifty five $1.33 that's I need something I? Sold for 15 cents to Chrissy Holtay.

And that's SMV. SMV, my SMV is 13 cents. I'm like FTX. I'm like Adam Bankman Freud. We said Adam. Adam Bankman Freud or whatever we call them. Hot off to presses. Ships on what you can do to up your sexual market value.

Rocket. And Fred. He's so desperate. He's just so desperate. He needs a girlfriend band. He does. I thought he was dating some last video. Well Maybe we need to set Frankie up with somebody although I don't know anybody I would feel feel comfortable growing to the wolves like Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to my video. My name is Frank Bernardo. This channel is here for all guys

One up their game looking feel better about themselves in grooming fitness fashion and lifestyle. His opening is almost as long as our opening. It is, that was like you were going to be disappointed. It's like you were going to be disappointed. If at any time you enjoyed the video, you liked the content, do me a favor, subscribe to the channel and give the video a thumbs up. I would greatly appreciate it. Your sexual market value is simply a calculation of what your word, sexual. It's your BMI minus your weight, weight of your penis, muscles and the hair. Yes. Morgan, in a brilliant mind, the movie, when he was doing his calculations,

there were like all kinds of equation symbols and fractions like running around his head. Could you please put that around, Frank, he said. It's body mass times tit size minus dick length, hair length, over bank account with current cash amounts divided by mortgage. How many poiled eggs you had this morning? Plus line, sweet.

Over eggs eating squared. That's your sexual argument. It's a simple equation. To your partner, the higher your value, the more desirable, you are, or sexual value. It's not only determined on your looks. Oh, that's a huge component. But ultimately, oh. Let me tell you when I figured out your looks have a lot to do with whether or not you're getting

your nicks sucked. Or so says the 25 year olds I've been hanging out with. Lee, it's what do you bring to the table? Let's talk about looks and your sexual market value that comes with that. Ultimately, everything in life starts with looks. A trink- Wow, Frankie. Now you're talking about language frankly.

The Lord's values, your worth based on how you look. I'm just letting you know. Yep. Good looking people get to the front of the line at the pearly gates. Horrible looking people. They're going to be in purgatory for a long time. Barbellyering their faces and all kind of bow talks. You'll get it right eventually, but good looking people first.

The pearly gates are like a VIP section at the club, you know what I'm saying girl? And I don't mind saying so myself. I heard I was talking to the Lord this morning. I was coming for the Lord this morning and I'll let you know right now. I'm one of the first in the door. I got a 9.9 value. If it looks have to do with your SMV, I'm telling you what right now. I got low value. I'd say you're higher than Frankie.

Higher than Frankie? I'll take it. I'm not sure that's saying much, but okay Anyone says anything different. They're a liar. I've never heard of anyone saying that dude is ugly or that girl Got a sheet ugly, but I would really like to get into her personality I think about pants. Yeah, I really like to get in there. I really like to get in there pocket. If you're Marlon, that's what you say. Theme there.

Now, is that reality? It's not. Always remember, everything starts with looks and attraction, and then it goes from there. So if you want a wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, I think they're just shallow. They're just, I'm a good personality. They're not into you. They don't want to take my good looks. They don't want to look at me as a person for my good looks. They want to look into my personality.

But I'll tell you right now, this is absolutely wrong. This is really is. This is antithetical to everything we believe here at the commercial break. Absolutely. And he is one of those guys that is like that, I guess. So you can stick, you know what, he can have his own little club. Well, listen, and there are plenty of those guys that is like that, I guess. So you can stick, you know what, he can have his own little club. Well, listen, and there are plenty of dudes that are going to join him.

Plenty of dudes that are going to join him. And I would say girls, there's plenty of girls, maybe two, on the opposite side, that you know, only pay attention to looks, but I'm telling everybody out there, you're missing out. That's not 100%. If you're, if you go on a date with somebody somebody and they are ugly, they're like, you know, missing an eyeball and they got to like kind of a gimpie arm or a gimpie leg and they're just not an attractive person, stick with it for at least 10 minutes and then get up to go to the bathroom and then leave. Tell them you have a family emergency and you got to run. Your sexual market value, it all starts with looking good. ZEEK, I think

this is probably one of the biggest components of having sexual market value. Now, I'm not saying you got to be a body builder. A lot of women don't even like that. You know, but a lot of women don't like guys that have bigger boobs than them. I can't tell you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've been on where I'm talking to the female and we're talking about what happened in dates and you know a lot of them In fact most of them will say man boobs. They hate man boobs guys Women hate Man boobs, all right and the guys get run Surgery, right? I'm kitchen take a knife and slice those bad boys off

I'm gonna get it surgery, you're trying to get it. Run to your kitchen, take a knife and slice those bad boys off. Suit your em up yourself. I'm gonna show you how with a barbed wire and some floss. Don't like a gut. So, if you got man boobs and you got a gut, you got to do something about that to off your sexual market value. Before I get into the next tip, I wanna...

Wow. Wow. Starting off, show an estict strong. actual market value. Before I get into the next tip, I want to start off show anistic strong. He's starting off solo. I don't know that there's anywhere to go but up with this. You guys about something. So obviously when we're all on a dating scene, we all want that younger woman. We all think that we're gonna get that younger woman. Well, I just wanna warn you right here, right now. All right. I have not had a lot of luck with this. If she's a party girl,

your wallet's gonna be empty, your dates are gonna be smaller, and your dick is gonna shrink. If you think it's easy getting a younger woman, you're on crack cocaine. It's one of the hardest things. I gotta get some cocaine. You're on crack cocaine.

You're on crack cocaine. It's like a comeback from 1989. You're smoking crack, man. It's you can imagine, you know, why? Unless you're the exception to the rule, no matter what age you are, you can be 30, 40, 50, 60, doesn't have any 80, 90, 100. I can count to better. You have to be the exception to the rule. If you're 40 year old, you better be better looking than the average 40 year old out there. You better be in better shape than the average 40 year old. You better be more desirable than the Jesus. He's getting closer to the camera. I know he's getting closer to the camera. His eyes

are shrinking. The neck muscles are popping out. I don't want to say anything. Like, look at the size of his pupils. Yeah, it's pretty intense. Yeah, when he got over here, when he first came on the camera, he was blinking real quick. Yeah, do you think he's like on high,

high-drossing cut, 3,000? Yeah, fly back. Why crack three, though? Now it's tobacco crack. It's tobacco cane. What is that stuff that they were making? The cocaine and tobacco together? Average 40 year old. If you are, then yes, you will get that younger woman.

If you're not, you're just going to fall right back in the pack. You're going to be chasing a dream. Get back to bed.. Back to bed. Go back to bed. Go back to the back of the line. Take yourself out of the running. This is like so weird what he's saying. It's like a beautiful person.

Yeah, everything is going well. Maybe you just don't look as good as the other 40 years old out. Out. Out. See you later. Get out here. Let me measure your man boobs. Yeah, ugly. Let me see those tits.

That's your out. Show me your dick. Nope. Out. Once the last time you worked out, three weeks ago, you're out. Which crossfit do you belong to? You're out.

Everybody else back in line. You reduced the celibacy for the rest of your life. Well, us better than average looking folks. Get all the pussy. All the young pussy. God, this is so bad. You want to know I get a 25 year old smoke and hot double D bikini model? We better than average. That's how you do it. You're all- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- getting any you're lower than average you're worse than average you're horrible human beings your worth is zero excuse me while the me and the rest of the

above average people go have anal sex with some hot Instagram models If you want to pinky up your butt, you better start working out. So if you are a younger man watching this video, do yourself a favor. Take care of your health, exercise, eat right, always be ready in life for what happens just a B R I N L B V that's what I say the first thing to think about is a a a a just a second first day think about a a R B T Y seven C always be ready in life for seven other people to be behind you. Because you're married or you got this long time girlfriend, nothing rarely lasts forever. Nothing rarely lasts. Nothing always mostly doesn't stay the same. They barely plastered. Everything's always never black and white.

You know what they say? The early bird mostly always gets the worm sometimes Rising tide floats most So always be ready another component and having great sexual market value. It's in grooming now We could talk about the obvious, okay? You're here nose hair Yes, it's all the same there's nothing's different physique looks and grooming. It's all the same It's the stuff you mostly can't control I We hold on I've got a take a picture. Oh my god. I almost mostly never do this we caught it exactly the right moment there

Oh my god Frankie do look on Frankie's face. Let's go. That's our first Instagram post in three years His Frankie sex face That's that's what he looks like when he's jizzing That's what he looks like when he's jizzing. Ah! Oh my God. But here, crack here. Here on your junk, here on your arms, chest legs, I can go on. Be like Brian Green, shave your body.

Everywhere, anything, shave it. Arms, legs, chest butt, fingers, so far. Eyebrows. He's doing everything except for shaving his own body. Guy looks like he just locked out of a casino after three days stuck at a slot machine. Next to a 75 year old smoker. I'll have another Tahiti on the beach, please. What's your free draft beer? You got changed for a dollar.

If you think that that's desirable, again, you're on the crack pipe, women do not like that. So do yourself a favor. Why do I have a feeling that this was all told to him by his former party 27 year old party girl girlfriend? Oh, yeah, that he got a little extra hair on his nuts and she was like, oh, Kraus. Kraus, get to the back of the line. Lean it up and up your sexual market value. That would be just like you. If you met a woman and she's got some grizzly stuff going on down there if you know what I'm talking about.

What? I'm talking about. Maybe it looks like someone took a machete to have a jinn of, you know what I'm talking about. Thank you. It's so bad, Frankie. Frankie, this is all bad, buddy. This is bad advice.

What are you doing? You're telling guys that if they're not good looking, they're not getting laid again. That's not necessarily always sometimes true. It's rarely always happens. It's rarely always happens mostly. How do you feel about that? What did that do to her sexual market value? Are you getting it?

The same applies to you. So do yourself a favor. Clean it up. Here is not Jesus. He's so handsome. I feel like my dad is yelling at me on a 13 years old. Clean it up.

Here, Brad looks like. I didn't make that mess. You made it. Clean your vagina. Get a razor and trim trim that thing. That's needed. And another thing that goes along with grooming, it's the way you dress.

Gruming and dressing right is going to up your sexual market value. Oh no! Point number five, bad gas. Who's got it? Looks, looks. It's all looks. If you guys are sporting shoes like this right here, all right, you need to roll them out.

All right, I want to show you something else. If you guys are wearing clothes like this, we're going to get into the case. On this point, I'll capitulate he's right. He's holding up a hanger. How is that all together? I don't know, I don't know how he did that. It's quite amazing actually.

He's holding up a hanger, but the hanger has a polo shirt, I think a ball polo shirt, bright yellow. And then what's amazing about this is as if there was someone standing in the clothes, he's got a pair of khaki pants, and a black belt. But it's all held together. It's all held together.

He like lifted it out of nowhere. It's like he lifted the ghost man of Antigua right out of the ground. Just season. So you're wearing these nice pleated shorts, okay? The nice baggy shirt with a real long sleeves right here that go way down and they're baggy. How would the average body look in this?

Look at my body! Hey Bob, it's me Frankie. Listen, can I borrow some of your clothes? You're a real shithead You're at the back of the pack not getting laid you might have a borrow some of your clothes tell the guys what not to do What not to do yeah, where did you get the clothes? This is my question Which friend did he have to call and now which friend that watches this video is gonna be in bear? What does this outfit do for your sexual market value? Absolutely nothing. Charm.

Can Charm have sexual market value? Absolutely. But not too much, all right? Use it sparingly. If you're a- Charm sparingly, why would you do that? Use manners and politeness sparingly, because it doesn't get you very far in life. However, if you got some rock heart titties, you're gonna get laid.

Overly charming a woman, believe it or not, it gets sickening to them. Sprinkle it in, sprinkle in the cobblings. Well, I am fucked. SICKNING! Yeah, sICKNING! And every once in a while, here looks really nice. Love that ring.

Great outfit. Love that ring? What? Love that wedding ring. HA's a great engagement ring. Wait, that's an engagement ring. Love that ring. Like she did, if you think for that. Her hair looks nice.

I love that ring. Great socks, honey. Sprinkle it in. Yes, sprinkle it in. Love your shoe. Yeah, sprinkle that in throughout the conversation. Who out tonight, all right? Do it. You don't say anything.

You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything.

You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. You don't say anything. I get what he's saying, but I thought he was gonna say like usually it's apparently like once or twice a week He said pepper it in throughout the conversation Nice ring nice did love that blouse

That's a great gin and tonic he got there You're gonna up your sexual market value. So my final tip, and it could be the most important one in achieving the ultimate sexual market value, it's confidence. But how do we get confidence? We just pluck it out of the air, okay? Yep, pretty much, that's how you get confidence. Exactly.

That is how you get confidence. You pluck it out of thin air, you believe it. I had a priest one, Tyra, tell me, faith is when you walk like a duck and you talk like a duck eventually you're going to believe you're a duck. Confident? No, you got to work on all kinds of things. You'll get that confidence. You got to look good. You got to exercise. You got to be an adonis, right? But you got to Right, but you gotta be somewhat decent. He say I'm Madonna's You gotta be close

He said you gotta be close. You don't have to be in a Donuts, but you have to be close At least we're keeping the expectations in line Jay, you got to eat good when you eat good you look good your skin looks good You stay hydrated. It's color in your face. You know you you're hydrated. You look good. Your skin looks good. You stay hydrated. It's color in your face. You know, you're hydrated. You look good. Your group. It's the third time you've said you hydrated and you look good. This is how you get self-confidence. Is eating to make sure the color in your skin looks good? I mean, it has to be spectacular. There are no exceptions in the grooming and charming, be charming, but

not overly charming to make that girl want to throw up in her mouth. Just sprinkle in the little confident, you know, I like when I make my girls throw up in the toilet. That's my personal preference. Now get back to the bottom of the line. Don't whack at each other off. And you're going to be in great shape. So when you do all of that, this all going to exume confidence. And when you got confidence, zoom is what you do to a body after it's dead. He uses this word all the time. I exume the confidence. Exude. Yes. The woman is going to know that. They're going to see that. And Anna is going to be sexually desirable to her. That's going to end the video.

If you liked it, like the video. And don't forget to subscribe. My name is Frank Bernardo. I'll see you all in the next video. Oh, Frankie. One last time for Frankie, everybody. Another piece of life-changing advice. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And I gotta say, that's all, that's what else is there in life? Yeah. Really, besides getting your dick sucked by young hot women at the bar. Poor Frankie, he's not looking so good himself actually.

Oh, no, it's horrible. We should take a picture and tag him on Facebook. Oh, shit, no more tagging on Facebook, as of 2019. I was literally the oldest thing on the list. It was like Facebook and Stagging. That was your two years ago. At least two years ago. I love it.

All right kids, we're wrapping up season number three, season number four starts on or about February 6th. Then we're very excited to bring you brand new content. Brand new content. And brand new content. We're hydrated. We're looking good. We're hydrated. With good looks. Don't you worry about it. We'll be here, but until then we bring you continuously new episodes and a few best subs here and there, narrated by some of our favorite people in the TCB Universe.

So we're super excited about that. If you have an idea for a show, do us one of two things. Do one of two us, one of two things, do one of two things. Go to TCBpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, drop us a line, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, or taking them all at tcbpodcast.com. Or you can dial up 1-855-tcb-8383. That's 855-tcb-8383 from anywhere around the world. You can text us or call and leave a voicemail.

We will respond. No spam here. It's Chrissy Eye or someone else here at tcb that will respond. And so many people have been doing that and I love it. We too. Yes, keep it coming. Keep the reviews coming, unless you're going to give us one star, unless you're hate listening to us, then just write us and tell us you hate us. That way not everybody in the public needs to really come on. Be it. Have a little bit of manners.

Alright, youtube.com slash the commercial break for full episodes a couple days after they air. You're gonna love it Chrissy I think that's all I can do for today. I love you. I love you best to you Best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time we always say we do say and we must say good Okay.I'm a... you