The Commercial Break - Wanted: Drakkar Noir

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Bryan's son has hit the terrible two's and so has this podcast! Drakkar Noir is needed for future episodes and experiments and Frankie B is back with advice? You make the call. Either way our favorite over 50m expert is back with more malarky.  LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel Join The Comedy Podcasts Club on ClubHouse New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 [phone] FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's Focus on Film. Every Wednesday we take a look at some of the celluloid that has changed our hearts, tickled our souls, and changed our lives. The year was 1990, and Hollywood was turning out movies like Butter from a Cream Factory. Without attention to detail, script construction and seemingly not a single ounce of talent in any studio anywhere, the movies kept coming. Mermaid, days of thunder, misery, goodfellas, and dances with wolves. These are just a few of the titles long since forgotten, and those who were unlucky enough to star in them faded sunset, a star on a

tumble-weated highway. One film and one film only stood out in a sea of malarchi, and one actor, Nay one Thesbian, gave the performance of a lifetime. I am talking of course about trolls, part two. Few actors or actresses have captured the hearts and spirits of the Thesbianic generation as George Hardy playing Michael Wates, in what can only be described as the scene that change acting forever, Hardy's character gives the small boy in the movie a monologue for the ages. Here now, that unforgettable scene. What are you going to do to me, daddy? Tighten them up by one loop so I don't feel hunger pains

and your sister and mother will have to do likewise. Okay Joshua, you want to get rough with me. You want to show me that you don't like the choice of this house for a vacation by going on a hunger strike? Well I'll accept the challenge, but just remember, when I was year age I really did suffer from hunger. We'll see who gets through this, but just remember I've got more practice in you. I'll see you tomorrow. A Masterclass indeed. We'll be back after the commercial break.

We know him as the over 50 everything. He's the guy who lets you know about everything you need to do to be what is it a badass over 50 but that's a kind of badass that people don't give a fuck about. The kind of badass people love. There's two kinds of bad asses in the world. One, no one gives a shit about. The other is me. I'm Frankie, I'll be back.

Okay, you ready? Yes. Here it is. So Frankie B is back with more advice for men over 50 in the dating world. And I really thought this was an important video to go ahead and cover because it's funny. It really is. There's no other reason.

We just want to laugh at Frank. She might not even be your first choice. She might not even know who you are. You might just have to just sat down on a table and you just saw a single woman at. And said hi on her date tonight. And when she starts filling with her phone you know you're in show Move to the next table with another You might have walked into the old people's home. Sit down next

Little lady that's remember within 20 years of your age. So maybe she's 92 Maybe she's 91 you have to do the math on your own. I gave you the equation on the last video But let's say you walk into the old folks home and you sit down next to 92 year old lady and she starts to put a little with her phone Yeah, it's likely it's another man or she's calling 911 The next episode of the commercial break starts now Oh! Woo! Yee-haw! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- It's not very wet. Your pool seems pretty wet to me. Let me take out my Let me take out my cleaning rod. My cleaning rod. It's double extended. Oh I'll just have to stick it in your drain in your drain. Oh, ah,

ah, I don't think that one. Yeah, it was in production, currently in production at TCV Studios. We're not making enough money with the damn advertising. So now we gotta rent, do it again, do it again, do it 70s porn movies.

Here with our purple lighting, all set up at youtube.com slash the commercial break. I'm Brian, this is Chrissy Ann. Happy New Year. Welcome back slash the commercial break. I'm Brian, this is Chrissy Ann. Happy New Year! Welcome back to the commercial break. It's another week, it's another episode. How was your week? It was fantastic.

I went to give it some family and it was non-stop action. Action park. And not in the pool boy way. Oh. Triple extender! Yeah, when there's a three-year-old and a five-year-old boys running around, it's non-stop. It's not... It's not...

It's not organic Viagra. It's fine. Have children. Man. My little brother Patrick took... Matthias for the first time ever on his own Matthias by himself. Yeah, Matthias for those of you that don't follow the show We're just jumping in is my two and a half plus year old son who is directly in the middle of that

Terrible, too And not and I think terrible to does not really mean that they're like terrible And what it means is there's they have so much Fucking energy and they don't know where to put it. Yeah, that you can you cannot take your eyes off those children for one minute And they're so curious. What's this? What's this? They was curious about his shit? Pick it up with his hand. He was like rubbing it on his stomach. He's like Pupu coming now. He's like putting words together for sentences

He's like poopu coming and I'm like Now he's like putting words together for sentences. He's like, poo poo coming and I'm like, poo poo already here on your fucking chest, kid. That is a don't behavior. That is a don't fetish behavior. I'm gonna jail for that son. So Patrick took him all by himself and then we came, I said,

I'm gonna cure Patrick of any thoughts or notions he has of having jailed. And we came back and Pat was like, I need a fucking nap, man. How do you do that for 24 hours a day? I'm like, it's just another level. It's another level of energy, you got it. Then you go into like some kind of another mode,

because I take the same thing with my sister, I'm like, how does she do it? I just don't know. I mean, it's like, you just do it. You do it, you do it. You just do it. It's just, it's the thing about parents. What else are you gonna do?

Yeah, every parent around the world knows this, right? You just do it. You just do it. It's something that parents. What else are you gonna do? Yeah, every parent around the world knows this, right? You just do it. It just happens and all of a sudden you have to take care of. I like it into having a dog. Only this time when you have children, you can actually go to jail for neglecting them. So my little shit head, Yorkie that runs around barking, I'm just like, shut the fuck up!

So pent up with frustration around the dog barking all the time, but you can't do that with a little kid. Because you realize that there's little humans, and you're gonna grow into big humans, and it's just gonna be a lot of other. I'm gonna have to pay for their therapy at some point, so I might as well try and do the best you can right now. Lessen up the bill, that's right.

Oh my God, he's a Tasmanian devil. That's what he is. He is adorable. He is a he is. He is adorable. He is a cutie. He runs in his little butt with moves. That's the thing, they're so cute. It just moves like a left to right. He's like moving his butt left to right.

You can hear him right now. He's screaming in the background. Here's the other thing about Matthias. Is that Matthias thinks that this is a world of wonder in here in the studio with all the wires and the televisions and the screens and camera and this machine that makes a bunch of noises. Yeah, TV, TV this machine that makes a bunch of noises. Yeah, TV, TV.

We would cut them off of TV. So now, I mean, that cut them off totally, but we only use it under the most, only the most emergency circumstances. That's right. Like, if we have to do something together and he's just not, he won't sit and play by himself. So we turn on the TV for 10 or 15 minutes

and then that's it because I'm realizing that the screen is really the devil Right and it can it's just like crack to these kids and you got to take them off So anyway every time that I come in this studio there is a major World War 3 meltdown Because I am in the playpen that he wants to be and he thinks I'm in here having fun Right he doesn't realize that I really just probably wouldn't rather be doing this all together There it wasn't for the fact that now we actually have listen is probably wouldn't rather be doing this all together. It wasn't for the fact that now we actually have a listen

or a galtz-ass-ass. Buh-buh-buh. So anyway, www.tcbpodcast.com is where you go to read all the show. Now, let's find out more about Chrissy and I and Axe's gain access to the entire media library of the commercial break. Repposode one, episode 60, whatever the fuck this is, 60. Where's past 60?

I read an interesting statistic before I finished with the showliners. I read an interesting statistic. There are with the showliners. I read an interesting statistic. There are two million podcasts in the Apple directory, which is the official directory that most podcasts most podcasts publishers will pull from is that Apple directory, right? If it's in the Apple directory, it's official. Mm-hmm. And so most of the stats come from the Apple directory, two million plus podcasts. That's wild. One point five. I believe it. I know. One point five of them are considered active, meaning they had one episode. So there's a half a million that just have names, right? And there's one there's one point five. It just never got off the ground. It's like a like a teenage boy. Have a teenage boy having sex. It just never really never really got it in there.

I have a teenage boy having sex. It's just never really, never really got it in there. The fouries, it's tough. It's hard, it's harder than it looks, right? I'm not saying that we're doing something incredibly hard. People actually work for a living, we just sit here and talk. But 1.5 actually have one episode. Then if you go past three episodes, you're talking about 766,000 of those podcasts.

So less than half of all the podcasts that are in that directory have had more than three episodes, you're talking about 766,000 of those podcasts. So less than half of all the podcasts that are in that directory have had more than three episodes. And once you get past 10, it's a really small number. So when you're at 60, it's like, you're like, I don't know, you really have done some incredible, you've created a library of content. You've crossed over like when you're a parent and you find that reserve. Once you see that pregnancy sign, you're like,, man, you're just so full of excitement, wonder and joy and then they then they turn to. You're like, holy shit.

We're similar to our podcast. We're one. That's right. We're one and a half. We're two and a half. We're a little squirrely. We couldn't have them figured out where to focus every all of our energy, but we're humans. We have a voice and we're talking and all that good stuff. So TCB podcast is where you go, you know the drill at the commercial break on Instagram, the ever-growing Instagram account at the commercial break is where you find content. You can find nowhere else, and it's basically the only social media that we really pay attention to. So if you're interested, follow us at at the commercial break, and then course, the ever growing, ever expanding universe of clubhouse. That is where we are spending a lot of time. So if you need a clubhouse invite, I now have like 40 of them because I started the comedy podcast

club, which is inside a clubhouse. If you're in clubhouse, you'll know what a club is. Go look for comedy podcasts with an S started by me and my good friend Jen Fessino and you can join that club. If you need an invite, I have a palatura of them. Just text me 470-5848-449-470-5848-449 or DM me and I promise we'll get you an invite one way or the other. You got to be on iPhone or now Android has rolled out and they did. So yeah, yesterday they rolled out, this is we're recording this one ever but they recalled yesterday they re out, this is, we're recording this one ever, but they've recalled yesterday, they've sent out some invites to people on Android.

So, there you go. Now, I don't know that everyone can get on to if you have Android, but I have an invite so you can try, we can try if you got an Android. And then we will be recording live inside of Clubhouse, and either that comedy podcast club or the commercial break club.

So, if you're not on clubhouse, get on clubhouse. It's an amazing application. It's really cool. And it's an it's infancy. Oh, yeah, there's something. So yeah, so really see a growth change. Yeah, you've already changed so much. Even since I've been on there the last four or five, six months, but it's ever

changing. It's really cool podcasts and clubhouse. I feel like our marriage made in heaven. And we intend to do a lot more on clubhouse, starting very soon. So make sure you get to it. Okay, couple of things I wanna get to. Actually, one thing I wanna get to and one thing only today.

What is that Brian? Well, I'll let you take a guess, right? But I'll play some music and I'll let you take a guess. All the best of the best, the wings go. Woo! Hey everybody, it's me Frank. Oh yes, I'm back. I'm back. I got more advice for you. I've been at the gym. I've been in Buntakana with all the beautiful ladies and now I'm

here in a back and I'm ready to give you some more advice on dating over 50. I'm out of town. How do you get your dick hard? Listen to Frankie B. Yeah, I've noticed that Frankie B has cut out his music. So now I'm the only one that's playing Frankie B's music before Frankie B's videos. I don't know why he did either. Maybe there's like a copyright dispute

and I am currently aiming for a lawsuit. But I promise, if you wrote and produce that music, just contact me and all whatever we need to figure out, we'll figure out that I have no idea where it came from. It just was on one of his number of his videos. So Frankie B is back. We know him as the over 50 everything. He's the guy who lets you know about everything you need to do

to be what is it a badass over 50. But that's the kind of badass that people don't give a fuck about the kind of badass people love There's two kinds of bad asses in the world one no one gives a shit about the other is me I'm Frankie I'll be back. Okay, you ready yes here it is So Frankie B is back with more advice for men over 50 in the dating world and And I really thought this was an important video to go ahead and cover because it's funny. It really is. There's no other reason.

We just want to laugh at Frank. And I want to say this too. I mean, I know that there's a very small chance that Frank will ever see this, ever here. I mean, maybe, right? We do have a kind of an audience. And so maybe somebody's going to tell Frank or let Frank know that this is out there in the universe.

Frank, I welcome you on the podcast. Absolutely. This is all from a place of love. You do give some pretty douchebag advice and we should talk about that. But this is all from a place of love and fun and yeah, in your douchebag. So let's get to it.

Ready? Are you ready for this? Are you ready for yet? I'm so happy. I have my seatbelt on. I can strap it in. Woo! I can't strap it in right. Woo! I can't believe everybody in the world is not subscribed to this channel yet.

Now, this is a little bit of an older video. It's like three months old. So Frank's going to talk about his subscribership. Just know that it's doubled since then. So here we go. In this channel is geared for the matrimon out there who are looking to up their game in grooming fitness fashion and lifestyle. Swat.

Gruming fitness fashion and lifestyle, he covers it all and hotel gyms in case you're wondering. It does a literally a video that's 30 minutes long on the hotel fucking gym. Well, Frank, no way. You know what you're doing wrong at the hotel gym? You don't go to hotel for the gym, Frank. I have yourself a break. Some fucking pasta. Anytime during this video, if you like what you hear,

if you dig what you're seeing, do me a favor. Give the video a thumbs up and hit that subscribe button. Hit that subscribe button. Dig it. Dig it. If you dig it, Doug it. If you dig it, like it. If you like it, subscribe it.

If you subscribe it, I don't know. I literally do another video in the next five minutes. Cost me $10,000 per episode of this show to get it professionally recorded. Hit and like that subscribe. I'm up to 1200 subscribers now. Listen, I got 905 subscribers. I would not be advertising that, Frank.

I just wouldn't be advertising that. I'm just gonna help you out there. I'm nearing the century mark of 1000. Now, you're nearing the century mark in your age too. I mean, listen, you do look great for your age, but I mean, come on, this is 1000, 1000. What is Kim Kardashian having? 16 million views on her videos, yeah.

For all of you YouTubers out there, men's channels who are watching this video, you're laughing at me. But just remember, you were all there at one time. Okay. No, no, no, no, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He might be catching on to the fact that we're out there. Now, listen, I don't know that I'm the only one talking about Frank Bernardo. There might be other people out there that are doing this, right? And so sounds like Frank's taking it all in stride. Right? He's saying, you know, you've all been there. But no, we all haven't been there, Frank.

We all aren't, have a channel geared toward douchebag advice where you never get to the fucking point. That's the reality. And, you know, I don't know. There's just something about him making the assumption that all the YouTubers are out there watching him, right? He's like, for all you YouTubers out there watching me. I have all you on., for all you YouTubers out there watching me. I'm on my way to 65 million subscribers.

I'm on my way to Netflix, but so. So yes, I am very excited to get to that 1000 subscriber mark. Okay, to be fair, I would be excited to be at the 1000 subscriber mark too. So to be fair, I would be excited to be at the 1000 subscriber mark too. So to be fair I just want to throw that out there and with a little bit of your help I can get there even faster So without further ado, let's get into tip number. Please no more ado Frank. Let's get to the point one That she's just not interested in you. Well tip number one, guys, she just point blank tells you, listen, I really enjoyed the date, but I don't think we had any chemistry.

It's like, how is that the tip? Five times she's not in view. Number one, she tells you she's not in view. Come on, Frank, come on, man. You gotta give us some inside baseball here. We're looking for some information. Look at hell. Yes.

Number one is she tells you she's not that into you. Come on, man. Yeah. Chrissy. All right, I don't need to say anything. What? Is some woman told me that we didn't have any chemistry on the first date?

Yeah, man, that is gonna sting. But guess what, it takes all the guesswork out. You know what? Sure does. It absolutely does. Absolutely does. Just not that into you. I know. We are not gonna have sex.

I do not like you. I have never been interested in you. No, don't call me. But so maybe, so maybe. Tell him there's a chance. Takes all the guesswork out of it. What? Come on, man.

I don't know who you're hanging around with, but who you, who you thought otherwise. I can see me and my friends sitting around the table. Oh man, you going to that blind date tonight? Sure did great date. We went to we went to the bar. She left halfway through to go to the bathroom. Never came back and then I caught her trying to get into a cab and I was like, Hey, hey, how do you think this is going? Are you? How do you think this is going? Are you how do you think this is going? I'm I'm sensing an attachment And she said never want to do again don't talk to me forget my phone number and so I'm pretty sure we're gonna go Takes all the ghosts, okay, this might be the one Telling you I went and got over in yesterday

That ride home instead of thinking how am, how am I going to text her? What am I going to say to her to get the second date? You know what? You got to be worrying about who you're going to get the second date with because it's not going to be her. Forget about it and move on. Look, that is rock solid advice. Yes.

Wow. I can't believe you have to say that. Dr. Phil retired. It's kind of like jeopardy. They're trying to find a fill in. I know what we should do in Dr. Phil retired. Frank Fernando. Dude, the conversation is forced. If your conversation is not flowing freely,

there's short answers by her. She seems this interested. She doesn't elaborate on what you're there. You or she is talking about? Guys, it's over because if she's interested in you, you're going to have her undivided attention. Even if she doesn't want to elaborate, she's going to. If you all get in the room, tear your shirt off and go look at my body. And she doesn't give you like a four-paraphrie response. What do you think of my text?

How do you like my hair if you're going to a hotel gym? Don't worry about low T. I've got IT. Excuse me first. Can you excuse me? Well, I take some tests. I'm sorry. I Excuse me first. Can you excuse me while I take some tests? I'm just gonna tell you. I don't know. I don't know.

How do you feel about pay by the hour motels? Oh my god. If she's giving you one word of responses, you're in trouble. Frank, give us more information than this. Tell us what we should be saying to the girl in order to get the second date. If it's not going that well and and that's not going that well, and she still do that she doesn't like you and she wants something to do with you.

And she's giving you one word responses to whatever questions you are asking her. Once you tell her some questions we could do to maybe gain the interest or at least have fun on the rest of the day. Yeah, exactly. But no, this is all very, I mean, Frank, we can figure this out from a fucking home art commercial. I mean, come on, man.

She's given you short answers and her eyes are going all over the place. God, she's probably snorting cocaine. If your eyes are going all over the place, then her eyes are going all over the place. And you guys are having trouble connecting. Because that coke you got from Jose was really fantastic. This, I'm just gonna say there might be a question mark on this one. It's not a 100% guesswork because sometimes my eyes are all over the place too.

I'm not gonna see who else is looking at my body since I walked in the restaurant without a shirt off. For those of you that don't didn't hear our last episode on Frankie B, he literally said that the first thing a badass does is walks in the door and says look at my body. We imagine him like the cool aid guy running through, running through a glass door to the restaurant and taking his shirt off. Like the incredible Hulk. Look at my face.

She's not interested. We all know what a fake, forced laugh is. We've all heard it. So guys, tip number three, if that girl is forcing her laugh or faking her laugh, maybe it's time to move on. If this girl's faking her orgasm, we've all heard it before. It's might be the number three sign

that girls not into you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, more, more. Oh, oh, oh, gotta, more, more, oh, oh, got to get my hair done. It's sad. Can you hurry it up there? Can you hurry it up there? Victor Viagra. Because what she's doing guys is she's just trying to force fake her laugh just to get to the end of the day. If her eyes do not match her smile, you should be able to pick that out. And yeah, well, if her eyes don't match her smile, yeah, I think it's like, you smile, you can kind of smile with your eyes too, but I don't know. Like this? Yeah.

Oh, that's cute. Funny, Frank. Funny,. Real funny. That's funny. Frank, can you put your shirt back on? All right. I think I'd be real laughing with a Frank without a shirt on. I think I'd be real laughing if Frank walked in the restaurant at all. Yeah.

And he just kind of struts the stuff down the, down the, down the catwalk by the bar. Like Frank is the kind of guy that takes a right, he just takes once around the bar just to everybody knows that he's there, right? He just kind, eh, eh, eh, he doesn't even know anybody. Do you think Frank wears a ton of cologne?

Oh my God, Frank wears a ton of cologne. There's so much moose in his hair. He probably, if it's casual, like, you know, he probably has a cutoff shirt on. He's got some big belt buckle that says something ridiculous, like, you know, playing on or something. And then he, like, you know, he takes a lap around the bar, even in bars he's never been into,

and he says hello to people he doesn't know, to make you think he knows people. Hey man, how you doing? All right. Let me get a lemon spritzer. Let me get a lemon spritzer, double vodka. I'm a badass. Guys, move on.

So tip number four, it was a short date. Have you ever been on a date that was like, one drink and done? How do those work out for you afterwards? Not real well. That's a clear sign that she's totally not interested. If she has one drink and all of a sudden, she's got to kind of get up and go

or she's got other plans, that's a bunch of baloney. Because... that other plans, that's a bunch of baloney. Because, if a woman tells you she's gotta go home, that's a bunch of bullshit. That's when you break out your twisties, put her in handcuffs. Now's the one that she wants a real man, a doctor. Frank, it's a creepy advice man.

You gotta understand, you gotta read the room a little bit. If a woman says she has to go, she has to go. Whatever the reason is. Her eyes are rolling in the background. Her eyes are rolling in the background. She's fake laughing. She's taken one too many Xanax. She's fake laughing.

And she tells you she has to go, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's bullshit or not. She's gotta go. That's it. It's 2021 kid, not 2004, you know, 1942, wherever you came from. As on dates, just like you, you're not looking to get out of there

unless there's a problem. So she's sending you a hardcore signal when she's a one in done drink and she's out of there, guys, don't even think about Connor. She's not interested in you. Come on, Frank, really one in done drink and she's out of there, guys. Don't even think about Connor. She's not interested in you. Come on, Frank, really one in done. I don't know.

I don't know if you can call these tips. These are tips. These are just like captain obvious type shit, right? It's like if you really have to watch this video and you feel like a light bulb went off, you should reevaluate your dating strategies, right? If someone has a one in done drink, if they literally walk in the door, I mean, this one in done drink, if they literally walk in the door,

I mean, this is just my opinion. But if they walk in the door, you guys exchange pleasantries, she doesn't respond to any of your questions. She's not looking at you directly. She's checking her phone and then she asked for the check after one drink. How could that not be a sign that she wasn't interested in?

Yeah, exactly. This one didn't work out. It's time to move on to the next one. The next rank is going to be like, if you ask her for the second date and she says, Yeah, exactly. This one didn't work out. It's time to move on to the next one. Right. Next Frank is gonna be like, if you ask her for the second date and she says no, it's likely she's not in the, if she never calls you again, I don't know,

I don't know, but she might not be in India. Captain, fucking obvious. Yeah. See, this is the type of, this is the type of non-persuasive information, Frank, that there's a lot of potatoes and no meat here, right? And so this is the kind of information you're giving on your channel on a pretty frequent basis

because Brian Green watches a lot of Frank Bernardo and just let you know that. I watch a lot of Frank Bernardo and I don't know. I kind of like, I have a liking to you now, right? Because I just, because I'm watching a lot of you and I understand you're just out there in the world trying to make yourself a YouTube talk over 62 years old. like I have a liking to you now, right? Because I just, because I'm watching a lot of you and I understand you're just out there in the world trying to make yourself a YouTube star over 62 years old.

But the reality is that almost all of your videos are all style and no substance, right? You look good for whatever age it is you are. You're all slicked up and dolled up and the camera work looks good. But once you turn it on, then you don't give any information that's worth a shit. I mean, who's gonna take this as not advice?

This is just like, yeah, duh, come on, Captain Obvious. then you don't give any information to this person. Shit. Who's going to take this? It's not advice. This is just like, yeah, duh. Come on, Captain Obvious. Tip number five that she's totally not interested in you. If she's always fiddling with her phone, guys, if she's munking around with that phone consistently, throughout your whole day, not only is that rude, but that's totally tough.

But if you also remember, fiddling with your phone is a sign she's cheating on you too. So if she's fiddling with your phone is a sign she's cheating on you too. So if she's fiddling with your phone you are literally double fucked. And she doesn't want to be with you and she's cheating on you. Call the police. Take that phone away from her. Tell her she can't go to the bathroom without that phone and see what she does then and cover to the wall for three days without food or water.

See what she does then. If she tries to escape, she's cheating on you. She doesn't like you. She's cheating on you. Then she gets to five day stretch. Helen, you bet she's not into you. That phone should be in her purse or at worst case, on the bar upside down and on silent. I can see once in a while if that woman needs to grab her phone and check up on some stuff because guess what? You're gonna do that and I'm gonna do that. But you can't be consistent on it. It's gonna be once in a while. Show her attention if she's not giving you that same attention. And fiddling on the phone, it's a clear sign. Maybe she's just playing fantasy football Frank. I like her.

Me? Words with friends. Yeah, we're so tired. We're going back and forth. Where's the friends, Frank? She's waiting for a text from another guy. Did you ever think about that? Wow, you make the, you just, you take it to a hundred every time.

Yeah, you get straight there. If you're another guy, it's another guy. Another guy. Another guy. How many, how many ex-wives do we feel like Frank has? How many of them work with us? She cheated on him. Yeah, straight there. It's another guy. It's another guy. It's another guy. Another guy. How many ex-mites do we feel like Frank has? How many of them were because she cheated on him? Three at least.

At least. And I'm smelling four children, probably three of them are girls, and they're like, dead. Stop making these videos. Stacey Bernardo is out there somewhere like, please don't listen to my father. To her account on Instagram is set to private. Oh, forced a super not I don't even know that she exists but forced a super

not if she does she never Instagram private because guys like me would be like let me see what's dating not as of to oh other dad. Oh there's a picture of her on her phone. She's cheating again. If you are in the dating scene, okay, that's what's happening out there. Just remember, you might not have even been her first choice for that night. But guess what? She went out with you because what are you fucking talking about Frank? Where did you take this brother? Yeah, she might not even be your first you might not even be your first choice She might not even know who you are you might just have to

Sad down at a table you just saw single woman at And sit on your date tonight and when she starts filling with her phone you know your show Move to the next table with another You might have walked into the old people's home sat down next Still a lady that's remember within 20 years of your age. So maybe she's 92 Maybe she's 91 you have to do the math on your own. I gave you the equation on the last video But let's say you walk into the old folks home and you sit down next to 92 year old lady and she started to fill it with her phone

It's likely it's another man or she's calling 911 What do you mean she's not your fear not her first choice for the night? What is this mean? He projects self confidence, but I think He projects self confidence, but I think he down. Little Frankie. Little Frankie. Little Frankie. And in there that does not very confident. I feel like you're right.

I feel like like, like, man boy Frankie is just, I don't know, something bad has happened to Frankie. And that's why I want to get him on the show because I want to have a conversation. Like it's just a serious conversation with him. Yes. And be like, Frank, if you would come across just with a little bit more information and a little less angle on it, right?

Because you're always taking it to 100, you know information and a little less angle on it, right? Because you're always taking it to 100, you know, if she's talking on the phone, she's talking to another man. Yeah. If she's checking her phone, you probably weren't even her first choice or her second, probably not her third. I can see Frankie. I can see Frank.

Like right after the divorce, he's like texting some hot, you know, 36 year old woman. And he's like, hey, you want to go out tonight? And she's like, well, I'm supposed to go out with this other guy. I'll get back to you. Hey, have you heard back from him? I did and he can't go out, but there's another guy that I met on Plenty of Pace.

Yeah, I'll be right back. I'll be right back. Hey, then I get 11 o'clock a night. She's like, well, I'm hungry, so you buy me dinner. I'm her fifth choice. Better get on Stim Jacquard new war. Jacquard new or thank God I bought, I think I got it, I got that,

especially in Costco. Costco, yep. 10 tons of Jacquard new or $3. By the way, I want a bottle of Jacquard new war. So if anybody, whatever the fuck you say it, so if anybody has one, please let me know at the commercial break on Instagram and I'll pay for it.

I'll pay for it to be delivered here, but I want it. I want it for a bit that we're doing. Even though you can't smell it or a podcast, Chrissy's gonna be okay. I'm gonna hit the street with your car Noir and see how girls my age feel about it. Either it's gonna take them back, or they're gonna go wild.

You have your shirt on or off. Yes, oh, I'm going off. I'm going full dad by now. At least, at least open. Like, going down to open. Yeah, I like that kind of look, you know. I usually have one button open, but I'll go like three or four down. And I won't man scape it all for weeks.

I'll just like being in a Bushy hair coming out of there. Just drenched in the car, no, can do car, no more. And I want to take a video camera, a secret video camera. And I want to go around and just stand next to women that kind of look my age. And just see what the reactions are. Saddle up the bar. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've made sense of women to therapy. They're like, oh no. Time I lost my virginity on the couch of Billy's mom's house. Cause the other guy never came through, but she's constantly checking that bone to see if he is gonna reach out.

Well, here's the logic, Frank. If you're not her first choice, yeah, she's gonna be checking as he have Billy reached out because she doesn't give a shit about you. Yeah. If you're her second choice, you shouldn't be going out with her.

You should, I mean, listen, under most circumstances, like if you just met the woman and, but how would you ever know she's your second choice? How would you know that's the thing? Yeah. Well, you're my second choice. Well, tracking the phone, you just automatically assumes. That's right. You just automatically assumes the second choice.

Maybe because he was his wife's second choice. Yeah. There's some kind of deep needed. Yeah. Hey, Han, you want wanna go out to dinner tonight? Now I'm waiting for the pool boy to respond. Ha, ha, ha. Double extend or Mrs. Crumpet.

Keep that in mind. Tell Tail sign. She's not interested in you. Two number six that she just might not give a rance ass about you. It's rejection to your touch guys. Here's how She doesn't give a rants ass about you. You take your penis out She runs in the other direction

Just not gonna. We're responding. Yeah. She's not going to work out. No, responding. Yeah, she's not responding to you. If she's not responding to your penis out under the table, like, Chili's, she's over. She ain't going to rot that fast. What do you do? And you're telling people, I don't know. I don't like where this is going, Frank.

You got to watch yourself. You got to watch yourself. You're on a razor's edge here. Let's see where he goes with it. A good date's going to go. You're going to meet. You're going to agree. You're going to have a cocktail. You're going to have appetize. You's see where he goes with it. A good date's gonna go. You're gonna meet. You're gonna agree. You're gonna have a cocktail. You're gonna have appetize.

You're gonna touch your tits. You may have dinner. You're gonna have great conversation. Everything's flowing good. The laughter. And with all of that, beacons a touchy feely. Okay, I'm not telling you. Grease around her and grab her and dig her a nugie. I'm nugie. I'm nugie. I'm not talking about giving her a wedgie.

Don't do that. Not on the first day. Give her a swirly. Take her in the bathroom. Give her a swirly. What the fuck? Why are you getting at the nugie? I didn't reach around.

I thought it was going somewhere else, but then the nookie. I'm not talking about snap in her bra. Yeah, you saved that for the third date. My third date, how to get a fourth date and five easy. Don't do a nugge anytime ever. No wedgies. No, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Why would I do that? Why? What's the point? What are we talking about Frank? Reach around and give her a nookie out there You're gonna be like reach around and have him by the pussy

Reach around and give him a nookie. I feel like he was gonna go for a grab the pussy or grab the tits But then he's he went to the only thing he could take out Jing-Ciome you cook Third grade Jing-Ciome you go third grade I Spy something Frank get it together. We're gonna play four squares and the date Are you a for a game of four square? What about dad's ball

Here I made this I made this thing on a loose sleep favor thing You open it up. It's got numbers and questions on it. Oh, you're gonna marry me. Yeah, you're gonna. Oh, we're gonna live in Tahiti on the beach with four kids. Why? Because my magic finger thing tells my magic loose sleep paper finger thing told me so. Arjun. Are you up for a, are you up for a game of paperclips football? Just asking. Worked well for my first way.

Simple touch. All right, if you simply touch her on the arm or you brush her leg and conversation, and she rejects that, she's not interested in you. Now, I guess she can give them the benefit of the doubt that they might be shy, but in 99% of the cases, if she's got a bad rejection, all right. And 99% of the cases where you ignore the signals

people with a jail. Yeah. I feel like that's just going in this wrong direction. Yeah, if she rejects your touch by saying something, or we all know, you know, if it's someone got to recoil and they're like, yeah, that means stop. It means stop. Stop means stop. We all know we're not dumb.

This is the 2021. And even when it was 1942, it wasn't like, I don't know, people felt like they could get away with it then. Who knows? Or she's even sitting in a closed position Where she doesn't even allow you chances are guys she's not interested in you if she's coiled up in the corner crying Likely she's done with the date call for backup You know what's really taboo to do when you

Call for backup. You know what's really taboo to do when you... Oh! What? You're right. You go on the first date, is to talk about your ex. So tip number seven, is she's constantly talking about her ex?

Think, that's what? She's not over him, and she's not even interested in dating someone else. You're just a rebound. Tip number eight, is she's... She's just over him and she's not even interested in dating someone else. You're just a rebound tip number eight that she's She just a rebound Your third choice rebound. I'll take it. I'll take it. I've been a lot of people's reviled. I take it I'm just like okay, whatever cool. No problem I feel like I can make this work. We can we we can turn this into an emotional wreck real quick

But the sex will be good in the meantime I can make this work. We can turn this into an emotional wreck real quick. But the sex will be good in the meantime. Totally not interested in having a second date with you. Is when you text her, her replies are weak. They're often short answers. Let me ask you something. Let's reverse this. Okay.

You go on on a hot date. Beautiful, beautiful woman. And she text you. How long is it going gonna take for you to respond to that woman? Is as soon as that text things, you're back on it responding, right? Well, you should.

M-m-m-m-m. I don't know, I don't know about this one. I mean, listen, if she, like we were telling us. Is she saying to text right back right away? She's saying if she doesn't text back right away, then she's not interested, but I don't know that that's necessarily true, because there's a lot of like bullshit

that goes around like you wait three hours to text somebody back. I know. Don't seem too eager or all this other stuff. I personally don't play that game mainly because I have too much anxiety to play that game. I'm like, yes, ma'am. I don't know if I want to go out tomorrow.

Yesterday, yes, I did. That's what I'm going to. Now, I'm ready. But if you start off playing games, you start off might play a little bit. It's back and forth. You don't want to seem too eager. And I don't think that's a sign that shouldn't like you.

Also, people are busy. I feel like we've gotten into this mode in society to instant where we feel like if someone doesn't text us back right away, that there's something wrong or that you're being ignored. And the truth is, is that we all have fucking lives to live. I'm in this new thing where I only check emails twice a day at the beginning and at the end. And then I respond check emails twice a day at the beginning and at the end.

And then I respond to them at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day. That's like a good call. Because I cannot let email ruin my life. I cannot, your fire does not constitute my problem, right? Number one, I mean, unless it's a fire that really needs to be to pay an attention to, but you know my phone number, they call.

Right, then, yeah. And leave me a message or you can text me, but I don't feel like you texting me means I have to respond right away. And that's not because I don't love you or I don't like you texting me. Means I have to respond right away. And that's not because I don't love you, or I don't like you, it's because I have two fucking children and a whole fucking business and a podcast that's, you know, readily pop around your phone all day.

It's true. It is. Though I think we all feel like now, that is what our lives are. It is. It's very instant. It's all embedded into this little phone. It's instant. Yeah. God, I wish I could get away from it. I really do. I really wish I could get away from it. Go to the maldives for like a month It is, it's very instant. It is, it's very instant. It's all embedded into this little phone. It's instant. Yeah. Yeah.

God, I wish I could get away from it. I really do. I really wish I could get away from it. Go to the Maladives for like a month and just forget my phone. I remember when I went to Costa Rica when Rafa used to live there and I would go to Costa Rica. Yeah, we went. Yeah, that's true.

And it's literally like you have to shut the phone off because you're not getting a signal anyway. Yeah. If you happen to be at a place where there's internet, you could get text messages. But otherwise, there's no phone. No, it's just like whatever. It's just like whatever. I'm just going to show you around them and send them to people you're with. Have fun.

It's beautiful. Don't worry about it. You'll get to it when you get to it. Yeah. Expect the same from them. Only it's not going to be that quick because women have to play the game. Yes, even older mature women. They got to play the game.

But if that response is one, two, three hours, four hours down the line, she's totally not interested in you because if she is, trust me, she's going to have that phone in her hand, whether she's at work or at a function, because she's looking for that text. What the fuck, Frank? I know. Come on, man. It's too much. You are really rejecting. There's a difference between one hour and five hours. I agree with you. Yeah. Or one day and two days. I mean, like, there's a huge difference. Yes. Listen, Frank, you're taking it too far. You're really projecting.

I think he's so insecure and anxious. And I, listen, I am familiar with this type of anxiety because I mean, I'm sure we've all felt that at some point in our life, but you're really, you're giving really bad advice here. If someone doesn't respond to you in a couple of hours, and you don't even know them, you're just gonna spend on one date. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean shit.

If you're gonna respond in five days, that's a different story all together. Then you should take a hit fucking hint, right? But don't get so wrapped up in how long it took or to text you back and all that other bullshit. Now, if you say, you wanna go out on a second date and she says, can't, then don't write a fake text message.

Right away. Right away, right away, right away, right away, right a fake text message. Okay, no problem. Meet your debaard seven. Tell me, ask. Otherwise, guys, you get no response or hours down the line. She's definitely not interested in you.

Ship number nine, it's eye contact. Guys, if she's not looking, where did he did this one, Frank? Here he did this one. Into your eyes, she's totally not interested in you. If you're having a conversation with her and her eyes are wandering, wandering through the restaurant, the bars, the phone, she's totally disinterested. bars, the phone, she's totally disinterested. If you're, if your date is blinking SOS to the police officer at the front door, working security, it's likely she's not into you. Yeah, and if your date is making Google eyes at the bartender, you might as well pay the bill, kid. I agree with this one, Frank. She is locked down on you.

Her eyes are never gonna leave your eyes. Tell Tail sign that she's interested is solid eye contact. If you're not solid eye contact. Sounded so creepy. Solid eye contact. I feel like, what if she has an eye problem, Frank? I wish she has a GMPI?

She's older, she's 92. I'm 40, something years old, so I did the math, and I could go up to 100 or down to 18, just depends. I'm in that age range. I get mad, she's an interesting guy. Tip number 10, she needs to check her schedule when you ask her for a second date. Oh, I am. Man, man.

Oh, don, Frank. Oh, my God. What are we talking about now? Wow. She has to check her schedule. That's normal. That's normal. Totally normal.

I have to check my schedule before I fart. I mean, I gotta make sure she's together. Yeah. I have to check my schedule every time. If you don't have to check your schedule Something wrong For open Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

Can you go out Tuesday Wednesday Friday? Absolutely what time doesn't matter Well Frank doesn't matter what time you need me there. I'm Well, Frank, it doesn't matter. What time you in need me there? I'm already ready. Backspack. I've got a bag in the car. What are you doing? A scuba diving? I got scuba gear in the car.

Where are we gonna go to? The Mouth Dives? I got playing tickets. They're ready to go. You wanna go to Six Flags? I got two cold cans in the back, 50% off. I got a month's supply of my aircraft. And met a mussel ready to go. I'm done.

I'm gonna shit smoothly and have a hard cock. Let's go. Wee! Oh, Frank, what are you talking about, man? We just, I don't even know she has a checkers This is why Frank is not just a run-of-the-mill YouTuber He is a very funny YouTuber. Sorry. I keep banging my pen against the people are probably like what is that noise? I keep on banging my pen like I'm an accordive log

That's it Frank Order in the court Order in the good you can't do that Frank you're not a cat you can't you don't just have a wide open schedule you're not just laying around coughing of fur balls and scratching your underbelly you have to tell us something's on your schedule Frank you've got job. You've got to meet your parents for dinner. Something from Don't Sound So Desperate. Are we going bungee jumping? I just got bungee jumping certified. I went yesterday. You got parachute certified. I'm good. Don't worry. We're covered. I became a pilot

last month. We could fly wherever we want to go He's come up with me anytime I can't sleep alone one more night. I can't do it Mr. Teddy Rockspin is not enough My cabbage vegetables don't smell like your car anymore. It doesn't work Guys if there's one thing I know if a woman like you she knows exactly When she could see you again because at that date she's already putting it in her mind But if she gives you a I thought he's gonna say at that day. She's already putting it in her ass

She's already imagine it going straight up a poop shoot. Dork answer that you need to check her schedule and get back with you. There's not going to be a second date. Oh, and closing out here. Let's go over a couple things. Thank God. God, what is the summary? I don't know. He's wrenching. Three of them are repeats. Two of them make no sense. One of them just sounds scary.

You know, dating over 50. This is a different animal than dating when you're in your 20s or 30s. Okay, most of these women are not going to put up with men's shit. Okay, they're going to be very picky, very selective. So you got to be on game. And this goes from your grooming to your fashion, to your attitude, to your moxie, to everything about you. So to your moxie. I'm not even sure I understand what that means. Your moxie's got to be on

point. How do you like my moxie kid? Oh, it's on point. What are you doing Tuesday? I'm in. Which Tuesday doesn't matter. I'm in. If you I'm free during the day, every day are a mature man and you are going to get out on the dating scene. I really believe you need to subscribe to this channel because I can. That's I knew it. I do that. It was coming. You didn't even use the dating scene. I really believe you need to subscribe to this channel because I can, that's I knew it. I knew the hook was coming. You need to use this channel. Yeah, that was a discovery. Okay, what I'm not gonna get Frank

about your commercials here. But wow, I mean, just listen, just Frank is, Frank is one of a kind. There are very few people on the internet who do it like Frank does it. I feel like Frank is one of a kind. I feel like he has zero good advice. I feel like most of it's not even advice at all.

It's just like common sense shit you should already know as a human being. Yes. But you know, listen. And then other things are things that not, don't listen to that. Yeah, don't listen to that. Don't do that.

This one wasn't so bad, but there are lots of videos that were you're like, oh, Frank is like cringe-worthy. Oh, like tell her not to bring her phone into the bathroom and see how she reacts. Yeah. Don't do that. That's like, I think that's illegal.

Can't tell someone not to bring their phone in the bathroom. Especially when you're married. Like, don't do that. What are you looking for a fucking shit store? No one to your divorce. If you are divorced, I don't know if you're divorced. He's got to be divorced.

Yeah. He's got to be divorced. Oh, yeah. Don't you think so? Yeah. Or just nothing ever happened. And there's a reason for that. That's true He's been engaged a bunch of times. I feel like he's either divorced multiple times There've been engaged multiple times and never made it to the altar

But one of those two things is true. I'll find out because he's not sitting there saying I've been happily married for 40 years No, this is how I did it. No, no, he is not but man in some of these videos He has some beautiful young women in there. And I don't know where, he probably paid them. I don't know who knows. You know, he went down to Mexico, on a Mexico vacation. And it's just like a bunch of girls and bikinis. And that, okay.

I know. Right. But it doesn't surprise me. No. No, I just, I wonder if that's like right when they met him. And they, and like, he's like, he's like, hey, you want to be in a, I'm a world famous YouTuber.

I've got 916 subscribers. That's exactly right. And they're like, no, I'm a linguist. Oh my God, TCPpodcast.com is where you go to find, I stop it, stop it, Frank. TCPpodcast.com is where you go to brand new TCPpodcast.com is where you go to find out more about Chrissy and I, read all the show notes,

and listen and watch our entire library. Go on Clubhouse, the Comedy Podcasts Club. You can join that, and you'll be made part of the Comedy Podcast Club in support of Comedy Podcast category. Lots of great stuff happening in there. It's not just about podcasting. It's most of it is entertainment focused.

So it's actual comedy that we're doing, or something funny, just a lot more relaxed relax and come on in and have some fun or the commercial break club at Brian Green, BRY, ANG, R-E-E-N, on clubhouse at TCB Chrissy, TCB Chrissy, K-R-I-S-S-Y, 470584, 8449, if you would like to text us or leave us a voicemail stand or text messaging rates to apply, I would like to thank one more time us a voicemail stand or text messaging rates do apply,

I would like to thank one more time, Zach Efron and his people for reaching out to come on the show. Unfortunately, we didn't get to it today. Frank had a new video that's three months old that I had to get to. Sorry, Zach, but I love you. We're gonna get there.

I promise. We're gonna find a way to connect. Keep calling, we'll keep making excuses as to why we can't have you on the show. Check in our check in our schedule. I'm free. No, not who is it? Zach. No, not there All right, that's all I can do today. I love you. Until next time The commercial break new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slas, the commercial break.

Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Houdley, with a digital content provided by Tina Kano. you you