The Commercial Break - We'll Be Back In 2 and 2!

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Bryan reads an old social media story about a South African couple who got engaged in a KFC. The internet Dorito warrior squad tore them apart only to have companies, big and small, give them a dream ...wedding and so much more. Bryan is corrected on almost YouTube video by the TCB viewers leaving him to be cautious about sharing news on the show. Kim and Pete are still dating on their never ending quest to find more fame and stay relevant. Finally, Bryan shares another episode of The Love Connection. Proving once again...dating in 2021 is a HOT mess! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And welcome back to WSHIT, a very Merry Christmas to you and to yours. I'm interrupting our 48-hour marathon of the instant Christmas classic movie, Saving Christmas, Written, Directed, and starred in by our good friend Kirk Cameron to bring you live coverage of Kirk's Christmas stage play of very mildly racist Christmas. He's live now in the municipal crab apple center. Let's go there and catch a few minutes of his stage play and then we'll be back to the saving Christmas marathon. One of the most overlooked and deadly evils in the modern world today. Is Chinese food? Many people don't believe that, but any serious and committed
Starting point is 00:00:50 Christian, with just a moment of reflection, will understand very quickly with what I'm about to tell you that Chinese food, in all its forms, must be entirely rejected. Many people do not aware of the very serious nature of the Chinese food question, and they participate in this very dangerous activity unknowingly. Number one, Chinese food is an expression of the Eastern philosophy of monism, one is the all is one philosophy of the East and its mysticism.
Starting point is 00:01:28 And this food is not only coming from the East, the place, the very heart of the most sophisticated forms of paganism, but by its very nature and composition, it reflects the Eastern monastic philosophy that is so wicked and perverted. What a powerful moving and racist tribute to Christmas by Kirk Cameron. I myself don't like Chinese food, but that's because of my IBS. We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the Commercial Break. This youtube.com slash the commercial break, you can go to the playlist that says in the
Starting point is 00:02:13 studio, in the studios where we do 5 to 10 minutes of topics that we normally wouldn't do here on the show, more timely topics like pop culture and entertainment and stuff like that. It's kind of like an entertainment tonight for if the two people who were leading that show had no idea what they were talking about. If they were completely missing form. Gosh, I don't remember. Ah, actually.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Let's get him with a zinger. What do you say? Come on, everyone. I know you can do this. There's so a couple zingers in there. I can see him getting hiked up in the mirror with one of his friends, yeah. This is 15 minutes of fame, man. Let's get him with the singer. Tell them you got a bad memory.
Starting point is 00:02:52 They'll go, hey, what's up with your memory? And you say, I don't remember! This is the comic break we've been looking for. Go Averyman, go! They're looking for the true love. They're winners. Love's the theater. She likes to listen more than talking on first date.
Starting point is 00:03:10 She's looking for a man who's educated, intelligent, and sexy. And she tells us about a date with a man named Wolfgang. It's Wolfgang, you fucking moron. Come on, shut. Don't try to get fancy now. Wolfgang. Wolfgang. She went on a date with fancy now. Wolfgang. Wolfgang. Wolfgang. She went on a date with a band name Wolfgang.
Starting point is 00:03:28 It's currently available on DVD ROM. Ha, ha, ha. I'm Wolfgang. I'm here to fix your sprinkler system. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. That's the other episode of the commercial break. You like the new sound? I do. I like it a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:53 I like it too. Thanks, Will, the champ for giving us the idea. Welcome to another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Holi and Best of You. Best of You. And Best of You out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of The Commercial Break.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I was doing a little research about the show, our show. That's what I focus on, mainly. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, it's my wife full of tests. And there's a new app out there called Good Pods. Good Pods. Oh, good Pods, yeah. Now, you know, we have our friends at Castbox and we'll be privy to that probably
Starting point is 00:04:31 till the day that we die. But Good Pods is a nice looking application. And we are in the top 10 of all comedy categories and in the top 50 of all podcast. I'm not sure where they're pulling that information from, but I'll take it. I'm not sure it's legit information. I don't know if they collect outside data
Starting point is 00:04:51 or it's just all inside data. And if it's all inside data, then my guess is that there's probably 10,000 people that use the app and like six people listening to the commercial, right? We'll put us in the top 10. Yeah, but I'll take it. It's a good feeling, right? It's a nice feeling.
Starting point is 00:05:05 I was reading on Instagram. This is probably like two weeks ago. I wanted to talk about it, but we didn't get to it. There was a couple in South Africa. The couple, they're kind of, you know, of little means. And one of the places that they like to go to on their date nights is Kentucky Fried Chicken. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:22 And so because they like to go on frequent dates to Kentucky Fried Chicken. Oh, okay. And so, because they like to go on frequent dates to Kentucky Fried Chicken, the man felt that appropriate, that inappropriate place to ask this woman to marry him would be the Kentucky Fried Chicken. They're placed. They're table, they're placed, they're jam. And so they did. And he posted a picture of it on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:05:41 And instantaneously, he was fed to the sharks. They were fed to the sharks, right? This is so ghetto and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, everybody's got an opinion, right? And everyone, opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one and they all stink, right? That's my, that's been my saying for years. And I still think it's true.
Starting point is 00:06:03 What you think of me as none of my business, right? Right. But you can understand how hurtful this was as it goes viral across the world. Yeah, it's a totally could have gone the other way. Could have gone the other way. Could have been a touching love story or what. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Now, it's not necessarily my jam to go make fun of somebody because of their financial means. But I understand that lots of people feel they need to say something because they're keyboard warriors. Yeah. We got a lot of them here at the commercial break too. Yeah. So because this is obviously such an asshole thing that people were doing, all these you know thousands of people that were making these comments and making fun of these people. One company after another after another after another decided that another, after another,
Starting point is 00:06:46 decided that they wanted to make sure that these two had the most special day and head start in the future that they could. A mortgage company gave them $20,000 for a house. Another company gave them $10,000 in cash. A wedding venue gave them a free wedding. A honeymoon, a company that free wedding, a honeymoon, a company that specializes in doing honeymoon travel,
Starting point is 00:07:08 gave them a completely paid for honeymoon, a deedis gave them kicks for life, clothing companies gave them clothes that they would have a nice start, a fresh start in life after they got it done. I mean, company after company after company after company, I must have read through 50 companies that gave them free legitimately great prizes, like not prizes, but company, after company, I must have read through 50 companies that gave them free, legitimately great prizes,
Starting point is 00:07:28 like not prizes, but gifts, right? And wedding gifts. And it was just like such a touching story because people are assholes on the internet. And I think we've all kind of lost this sense of civility because we don't have to face the person. Sure, you're not saying it to their face. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Now, Kristi and I are guilty as anybody of having a little fun with things around here, but I don't think we're mean-spirited about it necessarily. No. But this was obviously, people were being mean-spirited. I read the comments, and people were being mean-spirited. They were just being dickholes. How?
Starting point is 00:08:00 And I think it's really probably just children, people under the age of 18, that they get their first taste of keyboard freedom And they're just out there saying whatever because they think that they're the next you know, I don't know They think they're the next billber and so yeah, they're the next comedian and they're gonna be famous because of their comments And so they make all this incredibly rude and crass commenting about this poor guy who just doesn't have enough money To take his wife anywhere else or his future wife anywhere else. So he takes her to Kentucky Fried Chicken. But they got the last laugh because now they are many dollars richer and a whole entire wedding is coming their way 100% free. It is an incredible story.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah, that's nice. And it was kind of best to them. And we'll throw in one for you guys here at the commercial break. We are going to give you this episode of the commercial break 100% free for you to listen to on your honeymoon. Feel free, it's all yours. Yep, just give it to you for free. And while we're at it,
Starting point is 00:08:56 we'll give it to everybody else for free too. You get an episode and you get an episode and you get an episode. Congratulations to you too. I wish I could remember there. I have their names written out somewhere, but I wish I could remember. It's one of those names that's really difficult to say. I don't want to butcher it quite frankly. And so that's it. Not going to say it. The big scuttle but on the internet is, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:16 we've talked about Kim K and Pete and they are dating. Question maybe. Maybe. We've already actually did it in the studio about this YouTube.com slash the Commercial break you can go to the playlist that says in the studio in the studios where we do five to ten minutes of topics that we normally wouldn't do here on the show more timely topics like you know pop culture and entertainment stuff like that It's kind of like an entertainment tonight for if if the two people who were leading that show had no Idea what they were talking about exactly if. If they were completely missing form. I get corrected so much on YouTube. One person's like, we did this whole thing about Charlie DeMellio, right? All right.
Starting point is 00:09:54 In a house. I'm sure you got some feedback. Well, they were nice about it. At least they were nice about it. The Kid Rock video, I can't say it's a say as much, but at least they were nice about it. Because I said, I think Charlie should shut it down for a little while. She should take a break. There needs to be an escape plan for her, right?
Starting point is 00:10:08 And somebody pointed out that that is actually a month ago, Charley said she was taking a break. And I was like, oh, yeah, she's doing it. Well, at least she's doing it. I just had it wrong. So probably when I say this Pete and Kim K thing, there's gonna be wrong instantaneously, but I'll say it anyway, the whole skull button now is that people believe
Starting point is 00:10:29 that this is just a publicity stunt, because there has actually been no kissing formally out there on the universe, right? They're holding hands and they're seen together, but there's no like real PDA that goes on. I would say, they could be just good friends. they could be, well, but they're, listen, publicists don't allow this kind of information to get out there unless they are tacitly approving what is going on. Right. No one is saying Kim and Pete are together officially, unless
Starting point is 00:11:00 officially that's what's coming from one of their camps or both of their camps. I don't believe for a second that their publicist wouldn't, like, if Kim K's publicist thought that... Yeah, they've got the best publics to do. Oh my God, they know how to massage and manipulate all of it. It's like, they're, you know, I don't know, they're the best... They have the best PR team that has ever lived in the history of ever. They have had no major meltdowns. They have had no public bullshit that's happened that's taken their career down. Even Kim, their whole thing is predicated on a sex tape that leaked.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Remember that. The only reason why the Kardashians are in the lexicon of pop culture is because Kim Kardashian had sex with Ray J. Wasn't it Ray Jay? That's right. had sex with Ray Jay. Ray Jay filmed it and then somebody leaked it. Come on, give me a break. And suspiciously leaked it directly after Paris Hilton came to pick a fame after her sex tape was leaked, who also came to fame after Pamela and Tommy had their sex tape leaked. And so in the mid 90s or early 2000s, leaking a sex tape made you famous.
Starting point is 00:12:10 That's what happened, right? And so Kim Kardashian built an entire empire. Remember, started on, predicated on the fact that she had sex with Ray J in that film leaked. Just saying, but since then, they have made an incredible amount of money. Yeah. And no one has no story has ever taken them down. There's been no major. No. Even with the sister, with the basketball player who was caught in the hotel, like there's been things that could have happened. She got away.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Scott free. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it wasn't her fault. He was a drug addict. I'm not trying to say that. But even those kind of stories that would normally take down a famous person, or at least kind of, you know, set them back. Yeah, it hasn't. And that's just unbelievable to me. So Kim, Kay and Pete are dating for sure.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Or at least that's what people are telling public, but the magazines. Okay. But no one has ever seen any PDA. My opinion is, if you show up on a Instagram post, with flavor, flavor, in pajamas, you don't have to show PDA, you're officially dating. I've even went when flavor, flavor, flavor gets involved.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yes, I cannot believe that flavor, flavor, flavor has come out of nowhere and all the sudden is what the world's most like. You knew they were friends. Flav or Flav's another cockroach. You were just millions of millions of lives. Listen, I like Flav or Flav. I really do. I think he's highly entertaining.
Starting point is 00:13:35 But that guy just came out of nowhere and now all of the sudden he's an Alexa Kahnopop culture again. You know how unfamous Flav or Flav was? Just one year ago. I mean, no one cared about flavor fucking flavor. No, but now he's back. He's back. He's back and he's in it.
Starting point is 00:13:50 He's in it to win it. I mean, it's just, it's incredible. So they aren't kissing, just a nut. It's just another indication to me of how crazy our society has gotten. Now listen, there has always been fascination with celebrity love. Since there has been press, there has always been press
Starting point is 00:14:09 about celebrity love. Yeah, who's with who? Who's with who? Sleeping with who? Marilyn Monroe, you know, goes, Marilyn Moreau and all this, the Kennedys, all this other shit. It's always been there. But imagine how much pressure that must be
Starting point is 00:14:24 for a guy like Pete Davidson. Yeah. Who other, I mean, he was famous because he was dating some of the most famous people on Earth. That's why I can't. He was engaged to Ariana Grande. That's right. He was engaged to Ariana Grande.
Starting point is 00:14:35 That's fucking insane. Yeah. Pete, you're my hero, but I mean, seriously. He's got something. He's got something. I, he must have a 12-inch car, which he's really getting it together. I think it's fun too. Yeah, he seems fun in a crazy kind of way.
Starting point is 00:14:49 I mean, listen, I don't know PK, I don't know Pete. I think I like him. He's fine. I've seen him in the roast. He's pretty good on the roast. It's like doing the celebrity roast. He's pretty good. But he has made it, basically, he has made a name for himself
Starting point is 00:15:01 dating these incredibly beautiful women who are way more famous than he ever was. Yeah. And now he's made, and now he's like a major A-list celebrity because he's dating all these major A-list celebrities. Sure. But can you, Amat, he's admitted on air in a lot of different places that he's done, struggled with mental health issues throughout his life, stabbed, died in 9-11.
Starting point is 00:15:24 That's right. The firefighter, and he's had a lot of struggles because of that. Can you imagine what kind of pressure must be on his shoulders, like his every move being watched, his every thing being done? That's part of it with that group. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to. Everybody wants pictures, and wants to know everything.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Well, and the thing is, is they open themselves up to the world by having the show for so long, where it was, showing their whole life. And now people want to still know what's going on. Well, now they have this other show that I don't think anybody want, just because it's like that Hulu program. Kim Kardashian now has another, the Kardashians now have another show on Hulu. Oh, I haven't seen it. Yeah, it's on Hulu, and it's, you know, they left E basically to go on Hulu. Oh, I haven't seen it. Yeah, it's on Hulu and it's, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:05 they left E basically to go to Hulu. They got a sweet deal. Now they're like, what they call a 360 agreement with them or it's a bunch, they're involved in a bunch of different things. They call it a 360 production deal. And I don't think they had that at E. I think they were just, I think Ryan,
Starting point is 00:16:18 was it Ryan Seacrest? Wasn't he the, yeah, he was the main guy. I think Ryan Seacrest started the, you know, was the executive producer of the show. And I think he had kind of control over ultimately what happened on the program. I'm sure they had some say in what was filmed or what it's not filmed.
Starting point is 00:16:31 But it's just like, why would I don't know? If I was in a relationship, relationships are hard enough. If I was in a relationship, I don't know that I put myself out there like that. I really don't. Yeah, that would be tough. Hey commercial breakers, it's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break. Chrissy and I wanted to let you know that we are extremely grateful for everyone listening
Starting point is 00:16:53 throughout this year. It's been a wild success way beyond our imagination and we really appreciate you being such a huge part of that success. You can go to tcbpodcast.com. If you wanna learn more about Chrissy and I, read any of the show notes, get any of our sponsors, free codes, or specialized URLs,
Starting point is 00:17:12 or you wanna listen to any of the episodes or watch any of the videos. You can also visit youtube.com slash the commercial break to watch any of the episodes on video, or check out our brand new YouTube only series, tcb in the studio. You can also reach us by leaving us a voice message any of the episodes on video or check out our brand new YouTube only series T.C.B. in the studio. You can also reach us by leaving us a voice message or sending us a text message to 661 best the number 2 yo that's 661 237 8296. And finally I wanted to let you know a little
Starting point is 00:17:39 bit about the holiday schedule we are doing T.C.B. the Lost episodes. The episodes that Chrissy and I recorded that never made it to air for one reason or the other, there's something redeemable in there, and I'm going to cut them up and I'm going to let you listen to them over the holiday vacation. Listen, we hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festivus, whatever it is that you celebrate, and we'll see you for season 3 in early January. And now take some time to listen to our sponsors and get some free shit from them. We'll be back after this commercial break. Hey guys, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Playbook.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Chrissy and I have broached this subject many times on the commercial break. We agree that some of the worst stress you can feel in your life is financial stress. And if you don't have a handle on where your finances are or a goal for where you're going It just leads to more financial stress. Playbook is built to help you grow a plan for your money Optimize your taxes and watch your finances so you don't have to worry so much about money anymore Playbook is an app that gets to know your unique financial situation and helps you get the most out of every dollar you say. The best part? You don't have to do any crazy budgeting or change your lifestyle at all.
Starting point is 00:18:53 As a small business owner, I understand that having your finances in order and having a plan for where you're going is so very important and it's not something I'm always strong with, so I'm so glad to have the help of Playbook. You've got to try it. It's an app for growing your money. And the average user helps boost their net worth by over 1.3 million dollars. That's right, Playbook is helping the average user boost their net worth by over 1.3 million dollars. I have a phone call to get set up with the good people at Playbook, and I'm so excited
Starting point is 00:19:21 that it'll allow me to look at all of my accounts, my goals, and my progress in one place instead of having to go to 10 different financial apps. So to get on the road to financial freedom with me, go to helloplaybook.com slash TCB. And with that unique link, helloplaybook.com slash TCB, you'll get a free playbook impact. It predicts how much networks you could grow if you start today with helloplaybook.com slash TCB. Let's go to financial freedom and beyond, go to helloplaybook.com slash TCB and look out for future updates on my use with playbook. Hey TCBers, I wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by one of my favorite clothing companies, Mac Weldon.
Starting point is 00:20:01 I have been purchasing Mac Weldon clothing long before they became a sponsor of the commercial break and I want to explain why I think Mac Weldon is the perfect gift this holiday season for the man in your life. Mac Weldon clothing is incredibly comfortable like silky smooth comfortable and it's stylish. They have an innovative daily wear system that takes the hard work out of planning your outfits because the pieces are designed to go together no matter what you put on. If you're anything like me, that's the hardest part of my day. And Mac Weldon has convinced me to be a sweatshirt and sweatpants kind of guy. For years I refused to wear sweatpants.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I just thought I'm not wearing those things out in public and I don't want to wear them at home necessarily. Couldn't find the right pair. Some were uncomfortable, some were too long, some were too short, some shrunk in the wash. Mac Weldon solved that problem. When I recently purchased the Mac Weldon Ace sweatshirt and sweatpants. And now I'm convinced Mac Weldon is a great gift to give the man in your life, or it's a great gift to give to yourself guys. Listen, for TCB listeners, 20% off your first order if you visit macwellden.com slash tcb and then enter the code tcb at checkout.
Starting point is 00:21:08 That's macwellden.com slash tcb promo code tcb at checkout for 20% off Mac Wellden orders. Get it right this holiday season. Get ready for the cold. Put yourself in some comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirts. It's the right thing to do and thank you for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. I was trolling on the internet. As I do, it got me thinking. For years, as long as television has been around,
Starting point is 00:21:36 people have been putting their relationships on camera in the hopes of getting just a little bit of fame, right? It's gone on dating shows, reality shows, you know, news magazine shows, all this other stuff. There's a lot of people who actually find that this is an interesting way to get famous, is to- Very true, I think that's why most of the people get one thing.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I know, but has anybody ever gotten famous from a dating show besides the Bachelor? Besides the Bachelor, yeah. Yeah, no, that's what I can think of. You don't go on a love connection to get famous. You didn't go on a love connection to get famous. Maybe you were famous in your hometown. Maybe you were famous for 10 minutes, right?
Starting point is 00:22:12 But you certainly were not famous, like, roundly famous, right? It got me back to the love connection. When I was, I don't know why, but for some reason when I was thinking about Kim and Kim and Kay and Pete and how Pete must have all this pressure and why do people put their relationships under the microscope, it got me back to the love connection. Well, yeah, it all goes back to the love connection. Everything goes back to the love connection.
Starting point is 00:22:33 It's a great show. It's it, it all goes back. It's the kind of, the dating game is the original dating show and then they had the newlywed game and all this other stuff. But the love connection really, like they took this form of entertainment
Starting point is 00:22:46 to a whole nother level. The love connection for those of you that probably weren't even born when the love connection was on. The love connection was a television show where two people were in one way or the other were hooked up on a blind date. They then went on that blind date without cameras.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Then they came back to talk about that blind date in front of cameras. And it was one of the most entertaining programs on television. Because they involve the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to be able to be able to out, right, or one guy comes out, or one girl. One guy or one girl, yeah. Chuck, well, the host of the show talks to them for a little bit, gets to know them a little bit more.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And then he shows three different people, short little montage clips, a three different people, little videos. Now, the person could choose who they wanted to go on a date with, they could choice choose, or they could have the audience choose. And then the audience would take a little tabulator. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Uh-huh. A little cat little button in front of them, they would press one, two, or three. Yeah. If they chose, then he would go out, whatever they chose, then the person would go out with them. Right. He or she would go out with them. If they chose the date, and they went out in the date, and it was a good date, they
Starting point is 00:24:03 could ask for a second date. Yes. And love connection would ask for a second date. Yes. And love connection would pay for that second date. If they didn't have a good date, then they could go out with who the audience chose. Right. And they would also pay for that date too. So it was kind of this, you know, but that was almost inconsequential because what you really wanted to do is you wanted to get to the bottom of what happened on the date. That's right. So I, we've done this before. We've done this once before, but, uh, how to blast.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Yeah, what the fuck, Chuck? Oh my God. That was so hilarious. So I thought, why not go back to the well? I got a bass. Roman blades. Go back and listen to the episode of what the fuck, Chuck. I think it's, I think it's episode number, I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Episode one for one night or something. It's big time you know how to blast, we know. What the fuck Chuck, go listen to that one. But now I'd like to take, if it's possible, I'd like to go and revisit an episode. Okay. I love, I love it. Here we go. Welcome to Love Connection.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Where old fashion romance meets modern day technology, where old-fashioned romance meets modern-day technology, where you hear all the intimate details of a first date. And now, here's the host of Love Connection, Chuck. Wo-w-w-w-w-w-w. Chuck's recording is 14th program today. It is the incredibly drunk Chuck Lennore. Oh god, they recorded like 14 to 15 of these days. Yes, they were just like, they do a week of recording, and then that would be two months
Starting point is 00:25:35 of programming. They do a week of recording, two months of a program. I thought at least that's what I read about the production schedule. This guy was mega famous back in the 80s and 90s by the way Chuck Wollary because of this television program. Yeah, two and two. You would be like, we'll be back in two and two, referring to two minutes, two seconds for the commercial break. Now, now it's, we'll be back in 12 and 30. Unbelievable. I was watching the center, which is a show on USA. You've watched that show.
Starting point is 00:26:09 I've started. Oh, good. So good. On this last season, and generally, it's the first three seasons are incredible. The first two seasons are incredible. But I was watching the center and online, but they still have the commercial breaks in it. You know, that's you want to pay for.
Starting point is 00:26:23 It's not going to pay for it. And literally nine and a5 minutes of commercials. So I don't want to know more complaining about our 6.5 minutes of commercials. It's just started on meeting our first guest. He's originally from Houston, Texas. Says that he's the trusting type, but not crossing. Blame Ziefer. Says that he's the trusting type, unless he's murdering you. He He's a trusting type unless you cheat on him and then you'll kill you.
Starting point is 00:26:48 First woman who used bad language and his memory is positive. Fuck me. Fuck. What if he came out and he was just like, the fuck's up, Jack? You big dick? How'd you scrondestag, asshole? Goldie with his social life, please welcome Eric Braverman. All right
Starting point is 00:27:16 Well, what's the story on your memory? What? A vertical for a chuck Chuck has been phoning this in for 20 seasons, by the way. He just phones it in. He's just randomly like, so what's the deal with your dick? What's the deal with your memory? He's like, what?
Starting point is 00:27:38 I don't know, I can't remember what I'm talking about. Wrong cue card. Answer the question Well, we got eight and a half minutes here, bud. By the way, eight minutes 12 seconds. That's how long a segment is Okay on love connection. Okay, case you were On three gosh, I don't remember Detective let's get him with a zinger. What do you say? Come on, every man. I know you can do this Let's go couple zingers in there. I can see I've got a hike up in the mirror with I go on of his friends
Starting point is 00:28:11 Yeah, this is 15 minutes of fame man. Let's get him with the zinger tell him you got a bad memory They'll go hey, what's up with your memory and you say I don't remember This is the comic break we've been looking for. Go, Eberman, go. I have had some problems in the past trying to remember my date's name. Went out about a year and a half ago, I guess, with a girl that I met,
Starting point is 00:28:37 we went out, she called me, left me a message on my machine, and she said, it's me just confirming the reservations for tonight. Uh-oh. So we went out, at a great time. It was actually a very good date. We went out the next night, and I took her places trying to learn her name.
Starting point is 00:28:51 To this day, I don't know what her name is. We took her places trying to learn her name. Where did you take her? Hi. Hey, do you want to go to this name shop? I'm a shop. Yeah, I don't know where you try and learn something. You know, in the 80s, they had all those,
Starting point is 00:29:05 they had that good. I was maybe able to fill out a name tag. Yeah, yeah. You wanna go out of the Social Security Office? Fill out a new card. Do you need a new driver's license? No. I figured we had on door with a bottle of wine.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Yeah, that's right. Hey, do me a favor, I know you're driving. You go to 152 miles for our past this police officer. I want him to pull you over real quick. I can't remember your name. That would be easy. That's an easy one to overcome. And I would be like, you're again,
Starting point is 00:29:35 Brian Graying Stating Services available to anybody for $5. If I didn't remember your name and we were on a date, this is what I would do. Okay. What's your name? Okay, remember your name. What's your name? Ah! Ah! Okay, whatever your name.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Can you spell your name again? Yeah, how do you spell your name again? That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. Or, um, or yeah. Can you spell your full name for the reservation? They need your reservation. Oh, Tom.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Oh, damn. Jill? J-I-L-L-L. Oh, I didn't know. I can't wire and H and a P, you know, the kids are doing it these days. Jilf. The pH is silent. Well, my mom's name was Jill and it started with a K. Me for the K was silent. KJ, I, L, L. I'm sure of it.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Listen to how innocent all of this is back then too. Like, you know, the worst thing that airport Eric here has ever done is forgotten his date's name. Right. You know, this day and age would be like, I stabbed someone in the penis. Yeah, it could be. Because he wouldn't be for my date. Yeah, it could be much worse.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I took me, my mom, my best friend, and everybody out to dinner, and then I ghosted you. Yeah. Well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it? No, it doesn't. Yeah. What is this about a bad language? No, it doesn't, Chuck.
Starting point is 00:30:55 What are you trying to say, Chuck? He sounds aggressive. I know. Language, you like women who use bad language? What does that mean? I mean bad language like cursing. Oh my god. Oh, what's up?
Starting point is 00:31:11 Dirty to me. That's right. These girls are getting wet just thinking about a bad word. So bad. So nasty. Fast forward over here to 2021. We're grabbing them by the pussy. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Are swearing or just putting them, well, I mean, also bad language can be putting a noun in the wrong place. No, I like, she's got to be grammatically correct. No, I like a girl who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can, who can who can get him with the grammar joke here get him with the grammar joke yeah you with the grammar joke yeah who can use bad language it shows me that she's got her guard down that she's not being phoning her false with me if she's willing to sit there and exchange swear words with me, hey, we're gonna have a good time. What conversation are you exchanging swear words?
Starting point is 00:32:10 Hey, go fuck yourself. You're just an asshole. Well, you're a bitch. You cheated on me with that nasty dick of yours. Yo, your pussy won't get wet. Showed me that we're real. Yeah, you have a good date. That's a good date when I can exchange slaps with somebody on the face.
Starting point is 00:32:27 You know, I slept them. They slapped me back. Don't even get the believes involved. It's mutual. Wow, it's like they just let these people outside for the first time. These people have never heard anything at all remotely non-buretanical well i'm not gonna say it okay let's take a look at the women in the air attitude
Starting point is 00:32:53 for a remember you're gonna pick the woman that you think's best for me we go first uh... elena she has a degree in psychology this sounds like the perfect girl not sure she says that she uh... either has a steady guy, she goes out with or as many guys as possible, but she hasn't liked any of the minute. Well, that makes no sense whatsoever, Chuck. Good framing there, buddy. She says she either goes out with one person at a time or everybody. Yeah. Yeah. She either likes to have sex with one person or she likes a gang bang. There's no in between for this young lady. She's like that.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Oh, like as many jerks as possible. She's been saying lately and she tells us the best dating advice she heard was this. Use them, use them and lose them. Well, you know, everybody knows that saying and I'm not that cool, but I think it's a good place. It's more fun that way. Use them, use them, and lose them. Yeah. Come on over to the 20, come on over to 2021. The water's warm for you, young lady.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Yeah, you'll fit right in. You can't light the ghosting time. Yeah, this girl sounds a little crazy. Let's hope Eric doesn't choose the bachelor ed number. We have the Elena. Next Heather says that she thinks a good place to meet men is a supermarket, especially the serial aisle in the produce department. She likes to meet a man who's into health and fitness and she says that looks are important
Starting point is 00:34:18 to and Heather tells us about the men that she's been meeting lately. Say what do you want to punch me in my Captain Crunch? The serial miles. The serial miles. Yeah, that's what I am. What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:34:32 What? What? Some of the guys I go out with, it's weird because you think that the guys would want to play the field, but the ones I've met going out with, they want to settle down. I don't know what it's saying, I want to play the field. So it's been kind of a hard combination.
Starting point is 00:34:47 All right, finally Megan. So what you came here for love? Yes. But what about these bachelor abs? Yeah, they're looking for the true love. They're winners. Love's the theater. She likes to listen more than talking on the first date.
Starting point is 00:35:01 She's looking for a man who's educated, intelligent, and sexy. And she tells us about a date with a man named Wolfgang. It's Wolfgang, you fucking moron. Come on, Chuck, don't try to get fancy now. Wolfgang. Wolfgang. Wolfgang. She went on a date with a man named Wolfgang.
Starting point is 00:35:19 It's currently available on DVD ROM. I'm Wolfgang. I'm here to fix your sprinkler system. available on DVD ROM. I'm Wolfgang. I'm here to fix your sprinkler system. War Wolfgang. Oh, yeah, there you go. Thanks, Chuck. Yeah, pay attention. He's like, hold me here at the commercial rig.
Starting point is 00:35:37 He's like, Wolfgang. Well, we have a Wolfgang. Yeah, Wolfgang. We'd went back to his house to watch an opera which he had done jivani well-gain then proceeds to tell me that he is on jivani re-incarnated
Starting point is 00:35:55 and he honest about the lead that i thought it was a joke and i start laughing he didn't know why i wasn't taking him seriously i mean i know men are rom but I mean, this was completely ridiculous. Okay, Chuck. Let's just leave it alone. Yeah, Chuck. And, accent.
Starting point is 00:36:09 He sounded like a Polish polar bear. He sounded like that muffet. The one who's always making food. I didn't do that either. I didn't do that either. He was like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't even need that. You need to eat. It sounded like that muffet.
Starting point is 00:36:25 The one who's always making food. I don't even need the day. I don't even need the day. It does. One, two, one. We're going to take a break. And we come back with me to Roman Erich's selection here. Everything that happened on their date, we'll do it.
Starting point is 00:36:42 And she won't do it. You're right back at you. Yeah. He waited for the crowd settle down to give his famous two and two, we'll do it. And she will do it. You're right back at you. Yeah. He waited for the crowd settle down to give his famous two and two. We'll be back. Yeah. And two and two.
Starting point is 00:36:50 It's like his stairway to heaven. That'll love the music. The music is old school. Yeah, for sure. It's going to tell us who he selected. And I remember this. Yeah. I showed Santa. Well, that's good It's gonna tell us who he selected and I remember this Make stuff at home back there and herical start us off
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah, I think that was number two number two or number three. I can't remember I left arrangement set to her, so I got to her place and we, well, nice of you. Right out. Yeah, I'll tell her, rousing start, Rick. I told her, Hey, you want to go on a date? Yeah, sure. What do you want to do?
Starting point is 00:37:33 All right. You figure it out. I'll call you later. I'll be there at 10. Oh, Rick, we decided we were going to just kind of drive out and head to a restaurant. Didn't know where we were going. Wow, this sounds horribly exciting the date of the century of when they got a rick
Starting point is 00:37:50 we decided we're going to get in the car just drive and just drive at this point and Heather was kind of navigating we were going to go to a mexican restaurant she decided that we would go to a mexican restaurant actually hate mexican food but i just was okay i just wanted to get the date started at this point because it was taking a while to get going. Wow! Wow, Rick, what a dick hate Mexican food! Mexican food drives me crazy!
Starting point is 00:38:14 It's Mexican food, first of all. People who have IBS, that's probably the people who hate Mexican food. You can get the soup. Yeah, you get the soup, that's right, you get the soup, or you can just get chicken fajitas or something like that. You don't have to... Yeah, you get the soup that's right you get the soup or you can just get like chicken fajitas or something like that like you don't have to Type of you don't have to go bomb it out. Yeah, that's you don't have to go full Taco Bell double triple Bing Bong burrito or whatever Bing Bong burrito Taco Bell gets worse and worse I just saw commercial for them is like the triple Bing Bong breakfast burrito. We'll give you the shits for days. Make a run for the border. Make
Starting point is 00:38:52 a run for the batter. Jesus Christ. So you're not. I asked if it was okay. And I said, I know you don't eat meat, you know, but it was only thing that was really open and happening. So he's a vegetarian. Right? Mexican restaurants probably not a good place. He's not a good idea, but I want that to get the thing started. So you went to this place. So well, we got lost. We were, and then we decided we're just going to stop at the first restaurant we come to.
Starting point is 00:39:14 And as it turns out, we bumped into the Mexican restaurant by chance and we decided to eat there. We were lost at this point. Heather's not. As it turns out, we fell right into the window of the Mexican restaurant. I literally shoved her in the door and told her, I wanna get this thing started. Oh, that hurts, fault.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yeah. It's a- I've made her choose and then she chose. Yeah. Now we hate it. Dude, okay, it's in 2021, it might be a little different, right? But back then, you make the day's plans. Don't leave it up to her.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Yeah, it ain't, Ian. You're making the plan. If you tell her to make the plans, then you't leave it up to her. Yeah, it ain't. And if you're making the plan. If you tell her to make the plans, then you better damn well go where she wants to go. Don't fucking start complaining. Yeah, if you're a vegetarian, then anybody else has a problem. Yeah, eat the fucking, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:56 I have a cheese dip with some tortillas. I had that for meals many days of my life. Get us together. Rick, you're a cocksucker. Rick, I asked. I didn't know where we were, and I was driving. I suggested this place before we left my apartment. So we get there.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Somehow. I don't know how we got there. OK, so you're at this Mexican restaurant and going through the menu, thank you. The men going through the drive, thank you. The mint going through the drive through. Taco Bell. We went into this wonderful Mexican restaurant and had a bell up on top of it.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Delicious burritos. They filled the burritos or some kind of ship. It was incredible. And you're looking for some vegetarian thing to eat. We decided during the dinner conversation that we were gonna go to a nightly. We decided during the dinner conversation we hated each other.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Exactly. And we agreed not to see each other until the next day. Club that she had been to before. Right. And she told me that there was a great jazz band there. And we're gonna head over there. And I liked jazz and that was great. So we left the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:40:58 All right, now I feel like this is in the right direction. Okay, Rick seems a little bit more affable. Jazz at Jazz G. Yeah. Jazz at Jazz do. We about do it Jazz a do we do it is a freeform Jazz exploration We headed to the to the club which was right across the street from the restaurant Thank God we found sure well that's why we think God because she's a woman and she can't drive
Starting point is 00:41:17 He's all He's such a dick Found it all right We went to the to the nightclub, we go up there, and there's no one there. There's no band playing. There are maybe two people in the restaurant drunk. And so the cocktail waiters come though.
Starting point is 00:41:33 We got the place there, so. Yeah, Chrissy and I would be like, woo! It's my best bar I've ever been to. Bar Tenders come to the night. No line. No bartenders are for the night. The bartender's ours for the night. Care's about the music.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Turn on your iPhones. And Heather said, I thought the band was playing tonight, and the cocktail waitress said, well, the band never plays on Sunday. No, no, no, no, because I called and they said they were playing. And so that's why we went because they're really good. You thought they were anyway. Well, yeah, I called and then we got there and they said
Starting point is 00:42:04 there was such a slow night that they didn't come that night, but they play it almost every night. So, yeah. Well, almost didn't include this night. Oh, bro! Whoa! Settle down, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:16 You asked the girl to make the plan. She drives, she's in charge of direction, she's in charge of figuring it out. Now you're being a dick. The food, you're picky about the food, and the places, all of a sudden. By the way, never in the history of ever has anybody been pissed off about a jazz band not showing up, okay? Led Zeppelin doesn't show for the reunion tour. People are angry. You don't show a show for the fish show and you got the Jonas Brothers. I get it.
Starting point is 00:42:36 A jazz band. You don't even know the name of a jazz band. Never. A jazz band is an incidental thing that happens to be going on when you show it at a restaurant or a nightclub. It's not like anybody goes, man, I really miss that jazz band. Dizzy Gillespie did not wake up and show up for your fucking blind date, Rick. So we're just kind of... Yeah, there ain't anything. So we sat down and at this point we're going to have to talk again. We're going to have to talk again. Thanks a lot.
Starting point is 00:43:10 No, I know it is at all. We were all for you to say it. Everything we talked about came back to her modeling career. You could ask me questions about it. I also noticed when we were at the restaurant, I noticed on her questionnaire that she was a receptionist at her modeling agency, right? And she quickly denied that she said, I am not a receptionist. I am the assistant to the agent. Well, I was starting as receptionist and I worked my way to her assistant.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Oh, okay. What a day! God, he's awful. This guy is a cock knucker. Yeah, me neither. I mean, come on, man. Now you're making fun of where she works. What do you do, Rick?
Starting point is 00:43:45 Yeah. Never heard it. I've never heard about your gainful employment. You just can't remember people's names. It won't eat meat for subs. Yeah. Listen, Rick. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:43:55 You came on a show to find a date. You should be lucky anybody's showing up with you. Obviously you have a problem getting dates. Yes, correct. So now you have to go on a television program in front of everybody and you're gonna act like a cock, cock? Yeah, he's awful. Dude, this is horrible, bro. You're a real jerk. That is not 1985 anymore. This behavior
Starting point is 00:44:14 was acceptable back then. So we sit down, we're dating, defending your character here, what you are. Okay, so we're having drinks at the nightclub and a cocktail waitress comes over and she asks us she says she asked Heather are you a model and Heather just kind of smiled and then the cocktail waitress asked me are you a model and I look hairline I'm not a model but Heather is so she and Heather started talking about her modeling career again pretty much what I heard in dinner what you had to throw that in didn't you really had to throw that in to let everybody know that the hot that the wait it dinner. Well, you had to throw that in, didn't you, Rick? Yeah. You had to throw that in to let everybody know
Starting point is 00:44:45 that the waitress saw you little heart. So you were hot, too. Yeah, that you could be mistaken as a model, too. Right. I think what's going on here is that this girl has better looking legs than you do, Rick. And so you're a little bit upset. Well, that's right.
Starting point is 00:44:56 It's all kind of. And they talked for a while. I think the cocktail waitress is a little more interested in Heather at this point than I was. What? Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:45:06 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So, first guy that's ever been pissed off about two hot girls at your dinner table. I've been honestly. This guy is all kind of lack of doodle.
Starting point is 00:45:22 You're lucky Heather that you got away from this one up skate. Oh, of course you got it. No, no, no, no. Did he talk to the waitress at all? Heather? I talked to her. Her and I talked more. But did Eric talk to her?
Starting point is 00:45:34 At the very end, when she asked if he was a model, he said, no, I'm a producer. And because he's a talk show producer. He is? Yeah. Yeah, and so you didn't say, he didn't say radio. What was looking? He didn't say radio producer.
Starting point is 00:45:50 He just said a producer, like that's his impressive. What is radio always good shit on? And by the way, radio producer is, yeah, she's right. Yeah, radio producer. I was a radio producer one time. Let me tell you something. I was really bad at what idea. And I worked for free. And I tried to get us to dance. I kept mentioning, hinting that I loved to dance. And Eric kept saying how... Eric has been curious, he was, and how how he liked to dance and he never got up
Starting point is 00:46:26 Well, I mean I'm sure there was music I'm sure there was like We pretended in the box in the corner his radio station was all of the background right it's a show producer There's nobody else dancing and there was Show producer. There was nobody else dancing, and there was no way I was playing kind of. That's the best time to go dancing. When no one else is there, you're not embarrassed that you can't dance, Rick.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Right? And by the way, Rick is the most 1985 name. We've ever heard Rick. You. We are. Oh, yeah. There was this dance. There was a deep,
Starting point is 00:47:03 a moon river. I'm sure. So how did the day end? I took her back to her place. She asked me if I would like to see her portfolio, and I said sure, she's very happy. What's going on? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:47:19 I do like this even before. It's been a real great day, Heather. You got lost. We couldn't find the band, no one wanted to dance, talk to the waitress all night long. Can I see your news? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Do you have any full news? Wanna see what you're working with down there? Yes. Yes. Oh my God, so typical of a man. So typical. You wanna see my portfolio. I remember we had a friend who was a model, like, it was one of my younger brothers' friends
Starting point is 00:47:53 and she was a model, like a bona fide model, going to Paris, walking the catwalks the whole nine yards, not like, you know, not like a pretend model, like what a lot of people are, right? But a bona fide catwalk model, and she would do these high-fashion things. So she would always come to our Thanksgiving's and our Christmas's, she was like a sister. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:14 And her family life is a little rough. And anyway, she brought her portfolio one time. She had been in New York for a couple of years. She came back, she brought her portfolio. Mm-hmm. And everybody gathered around the kitchen to look at her portfolio, because half of them were her completely naked
Starting point is 00:48:31 at some stage of a dress. And at some point my dad even came like, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, and he was like, it's a beautiful photo box. I guess sure, dad. It's allented. Very talented. Your nipples are very talented.
Starting point is 00:48:46 How do you get them to be that pokey? Do you mind if I take this one? Yes. Show the guys of work. What my pseudo-nodder has been doing. I'm going to post this on my bathroom wall. I can, of course, I want to see your portfolio. I went into her place.
Starting point is 00:49:01 She showed me her portfolio. It was really impressive. She's very pretty. Well, thank you. But the reason why I showed, I wouldn't just say here she showed me her portfolio. It was really impressive, she's very pretty. Well thank you, but the reason why I showed, I wouldn't just stay here looking at my book, I thought I could maybe get some work from the radio station, and I figured,
Starting point is 00:49:12 you should have them cheer boss. That's what he said, radio station. The radio station, you're a model. Look how you're doing. It's not a visual medium. He said it was a visual medium. Radio seems like an odd place to model a medium. Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Sure does. Yes, that's right. Yes, I think it seems like an odd place to model a lady. Yes. Sure does. Yes, sir. They do have commercials. You remember saying you said good night, Heather? Yeah, I stuck my hand out, gave my hand shake, and he said, he said, how about a hug? And I said, fine, great.
Starting point is 00:49:40 So we hugged, and I said, drive safe. So we hugged, we had sex and he left. That was it. That was it. Didn't work out, unfortunately, for either one of you. But the audience plays a part in this. Let's take a look, see who they chose for you, Eric. Holy cow, Elena 52%.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Yeah. Holy cow. I'm never seen this. The music is a little, a blue. The audience sucks. This is why we're at today. Because the audience was heading in that direction. You know that's what would happen in 2021. People would be like, I want to see a train wreck.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Oh my God, I love it. I love the love connection. Oh yeah. That's like such a great show. It is. All right, that's all we can do for today. Gotta get out of here. I think it's new people to see pictures to take. That's right. All right, so.
Starting point is 00:50:38 We're portfolios to make. That's right. In the studio are portfolios to make. I'll show you my portfolios someday. In the studio, TCB's brand new YouTube exclusive content, you can only find it on youtube.com slash the commercial break. Please like, please like and subscribe. If you don't mind, like and subscribe on your favorite podcast provider.
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Starting point is 00:51:16 corner. And we're super excited about what's in store. But that's all we can do for today. We'll see you next time on the commercial break. Chrissy, I love you. I love you, Brian. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always and we must and with love and care, we do say, bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com slash the commercial break visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our
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