The Commercial Break - What A Gasbag!

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

There is such a thing as a gasbag and it can cook your food! Unfortunately, it's just as disgusting as you imagine! Bryan and Krissy find a woman who is happily cooking with gas from her....droppings...and it has TCB gagging. That said, the gasbag doesn't come with a gas bill! People ARE listening to every episode of TCB Escape rooms were a thing for 5 minutes Meth pumpkins are making their way to America Weed is NOT the next gold rush for most Niko the Ghost Dog is not doing well Gardener is making gas out of poop! Cooking with poop gas is as gross as you imagine Bryan and Krissy decide to leave the Gasbag for the hippies LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Lululemon.com is for MEN too! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Commercial Breakers Roxanne Dave Sydney Ronald M Stu Carly Mia Jake DAS Amanda Julie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Santa Claus is on his way, he's loaded, he's out of town, he's dropped the mobile Christmas day, and I'll say, how do I have? On this episode of the

Commercial Break, I can have an actual knife-wielding human being running around chasing you, as if you did that, then I'd want to escape, or get my ex-girlfriend on in there,

and I'll claw through the walls. Right. Yeah, you'll get out of there, real quick. I'llfriend on in there. I'll claw through the walls. Right. Yeah, you'll get out there real quick. I'll skip the clues and I'll just go right to the wall. You got to be in on the ground, ground floor. You had to have been growing weed for 10 years, illegally somewhere, and then you go apply for your license and then you go do your thing.

Yeah, you can just all of a sudden start up. It doesn't work like that. It's like you know the whole Bitcoin thing. You get in on it at $40,000. You're not going to make any money. I mean, go on, it doesn't work like that. It's like, you know, the whole Bitcoin thing. You get in on it at $40,000. You're not gonna make any money. I mean, come on, don't be a dumbass. Where does one find old shit? Field, I don't know.

Oh, Chrissy, this whole process just like, but you're right, I could probably, you know, fuel a small town for months on this one. Thank you guys, you were fresh. Yeah, the fresh. I got that dinky dang, that stinky stink. I got that stinky thing. Brian asked. We can put that thing in a Brian asked.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, Katherine kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy. Totally best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the commercial break. I am Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy. Totally best of you, Kristi. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

Hallelujah. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this. The commercial break, it's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed. In 30 seconds or less, go to the TCBPodcast.com website to collect your earnings. I always want to say the brand new TCB podcast. That's a lot of life.

It's been out for a little while. It's been out for a little while. We'll change it here in a minute. For no apparent reason whatsoever. I know. We're on the phone with the website designers last night. And he's like, how many people did you get to listen to your show every month? And so I tell him.

And then he's like, he's like, and how many people visit the website? And then I tell him. And he's like, wow, you should really have a lot more people visiting the website. And I'm like, what the fuck is open our audience? Guys, go to the tcbpodcast.com website. What are you doing?

A lot of times you're on the go, maybe when you're listening to podcast. Oh, I'm always on the go. I'm trying to run away from this stupid podcast. Someone wrote in and said, you know, I don't think there are pretty deep to the conversation we've had before about how many episodes we're putting out here. So I said, hey, we made the call and we said, hey, listen, anybody that's keeping up with the TCB podcast website, could you please let us know that you're on top of the episode? Right, right.

And so someone wrote in, serendipitously, and probably having not heard the conversation because they're not up to speed on the actual episode. They said, you know, I love your show, but if you did two a week, I'd probably have a hard time keeping up. I'm a couple behind, you know. How do I catch up with the question? And I'm like, what do you want me to manage your life for you?

You think I got time to handle your shit? I can't even do my shit. Go on a long flight. Yeah. Catch up on the flight. Long flight, long road trip. I don't know. Jail.

Well, if you're trying to get out of the friend zone, you can just move to another country. If you are trying to get out of the friend zone, our good friend Adam Leyer says, move out of the country for four to five years, cut all communication off with everybody, and then jump back in. Let them know you're doing all right. So the yours, I'm about to.

So fabulous, your life. So you get out of the friend zone. Or give them that text message, what was that text message that he, the text message he said that would change your friend zone life, but he never, he never gave us the information. It was weird. It was something like, hey, I wanna bone you

or something. Yeah, and then when you come back, you can take our on a date like bowling. Yeah, go to bowling. Go to bowling. Nothing quite impresses the young ladies like bowling. What was that? One of those escape houses or what?

What are they? Oh, one of those escape rooms. Yeah, take her to an escape room. Snuffing says romance, like, shitting yourself. I went to one of those escape rooms. One time. I still have not done it. You know the stakes are low.

It's like white painted walls and they put like, in this one you had to get out of, you were on it stranded on an island. And you had, there were two ships. And the ships were closets that had windows on them. So they made them kind of look like a ship, but they had like a fake steering wheel in there. You know, and I was like,

wow, I don't really feel like I have to escape this room at all. It's air conditioned. It's very nice. The questions were silly. It wasn't well done. I'm just putting it that way. Maybe there are some escape rooms that are well done. This one was not.

Yeah. A lot of the ones I see are kind of like in a abandoned mall shop. It's a place to put them, right? I mean, it's a good place to put them in. I would say you raise the stakes a little bit and have an actual knife-wielding human being running around chasing you. Exactly. As if you did that, then I'd want to escape. Or get my ex-girlfriend on in there and I'll claw through the walls. I'll skip the clues and I'll just go right for the wall. Three really interesting stories I found that I got to talk to you about. Then we'll get to some uneco update, Nico the Ghost Dog update.

It's the time of year for pumpkins, pumpkin everything, pumpkin this, pumpkin that, you know, pumpkin, I don't like the pumpkin. Do you like the pumpkin, pumpkin spice, you know, I do like it. What is a big deal about the pumpkins? Why is pumpkin spice, does that taste good to you? It's delicious. I wonder why. It's kind of like a cinnamon kind of sweet

Yeah, I could do cinnamon, but I don't know what I'm not interested in pumpkin. Yeah pumpkin itself doesn't taste great Yeah, I'm putting C-Zero, okay if you put a lot of salt on Yes, let's assault but no oil Anything would be good about the salt on it my shoe would be good with lots of salt on it So it's that time of season when the news organizations will like to put out information about how the day candy that you should stay away from, you know, scary things that are happening in the neighborhood that could be,

you know, the attacks that are going to happen on Halloween. And of course, the drug cartels are now shipping math inside of pumpkins. So yesterday they found 44 pumpkins filled with crystal math. But they were closed. They were like closed pumpkins. they found 44 pumpkins filled with crystal meth. But they were closed. They were like closed pumpkins. They, there was no apparent opening to the pumpkin. How do you stuff that much meth in a pumpkin?

That's closed. You get it to grow around the mess. I was gonna say, yeah, like, cause that's a special hybrid seed they have. Okay, dummy, a favor. God, and I want you to fertilize the pumpkins with our blue crystal meth we're going to make. This is gonna be a banner year for Okay, dummy a favor God and I want you to fertilize the pumpkins with Blue crystal method we're going to make this is gonna be a better year for Brian's drug cartel

We got them now, but those stats weird Yeah, the change those border agents they get it they understand that's gonna be a tough job That does yeah, and you know what they do is the drug cartels is they'll send 44 trucks through knowing the 22 of them are gonna get caught, right? It's kind of like a risk they take. But if you're one of those mules, that's gotta be a really fucking shitty risk assessment. I could make $10,000 if I make it over the border, but there's a 15% chance I'm going to jail for the rest of my life.

Right, yeah, you're taking a huge chance. No, that's why I only do drug mulling on the weekends. This episode brought to you by drug mule drugmule.com find your next uh find your next shipment at drugmule.com If you should start a new ver service for drug mules. Well, I'm sure it probably exists somewhere. You know when they have the trucks on the long haul truckers You know they'll pick they'll they have websites where you can say oh I have an empty leg going from like you know Arpeosolatio Atlanta. Yeah, and'll go, okay, go pick up this load over and wherever and make some extra money

while you're on your way wherever you're going. So I think we should do the same thing for drugs. I mean, I'm in. Yeah, you know, like not. I mean, how much trouble can you get in for Joe Biden just let all those weed people out? So how much trouble can you really get in for smuggling weed across the country?

Did people still smuggle weed? Oh my god. I, I, uh, like into the country, like maybe from state to state. Like, oh yeah, no, no, I still think that weed is the number one drug that's imported, uh, imported into the country. Okay. Now, I don't know why. Yeah, I mean, if you got a head on your shoulders, you just, when your friend goes to Denver, you tell them to stock up on some edibles. I'm going to Colorado this weekend. Oh, give me some edibles. There you go, that's how you do it. I mean, the people that have no fear,

I know people who just like, they just walk on the plane on and off with it, and I'm like, how do you do that? How do you go to Denver and you buy yourself, you know, a pound of chocolate that's clearly laced with THC or whatever. And then you have no fear coming back to wherever it is you're coming back to.

And the answer is from a friend of a friend that I heard about online, one time on the Reddit post, the answer is like the TSA agents, they're not there to bust your chocolate weed, dude. They're looking out for guns, knives, and bombs. They don't care about your weed. It's not, it's not their response. And it's legal in Denver. Right.

And in a small amount. I mean Yeah, I mean even in the land side. I think you can carry like an ounce around you And they don't do anything they give you like a parking ticket or something. Yeah. Yeah Thank you for reading here, man We've come a long way. We have come a long way because I remember when I was down on that basement Yeah, with a copy of high times. I was like a freedom fighter I was like okay, it's gonna be legalized man. It's Dickey. Yickey do ewey We're all gonna get the ewey gooey

Everybody it's mothers mothers plant mothers nature right it's natural. It's natural They are comes from the earth. This is sprayed with some kind of chemical. It's making me really upset right now But it's mainly natural I'm really upset right now, but it's mainly natural. Well, your adolescent hopes and dreams have come true. They have. Only now I'm not at the least bit interested in it. Now I'm like, okay, whatever, thanks for all that. Whoever you are on the front lines, thanks for all that.

But what I'm reading is that the weed growers that we're really going to make like cash in, they're not caching in. And the reason why is because the big corporations have come in, you still aren't allowed to bank at most banks. If you're making great money, you got to stuff it literally in your suitcase. There's nothing to do with it. Cash only, right? Cash and carry, baby.

The credit card companies won't deal with you in a lot of cases. Now, maybe that's changed since I last read up about it. Since I admittedly don't have a stake in the whole situation, but you know, I had like when we first started getting legalized in these states like Colorado. I had friends that came to me and were like, A dude investment opportunity.

That's right, set up a shop. 7,000 acres of desert in Arizona. We're gonna grace some week, we're gonna like irrigate it, do this whole thing, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that does not sound like a great investment opportunity to me. I realize you think this is the gold rush.

But once you hear about it, the gold rush is already over. Like you gotta be in on the ground, ground, ground floor. You had to have been growing weed for 10 years, illegally somewhere, and then you go apply for your license, and then you go do your thing. Yeah, you can just love a sudden start up. It doesn't work like that. It's like you know the whole Bitcoin thing.

You get in on it at $40,000. You're not gonna make any money. I mean, go on, don't be a dumbass. You don't buy Facebook at 100. You buy Facebook at 10. That's what you do, right? You do have to get on the ground floor. And I had a few friends that even went out there and tried it

and it just was miserable. They ended up like being weed dreamers for, you know, some forest out in the middle of fucking nowhere where the people were shooting guns off at each other. I mean it really was sounded like a a whole situation that sounded very bad. Do you see that documentary about about the county in California like the... Yes! Oh that was crazy wasn't it?

Was it Mendocina or no no no. No. Redwood or... Oh God what was that? God I get it. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt.

Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Humboldt. Hum regano. Yeah, we had a regano.

I mean, literally some of my friends as a teenager got taken with the oregano trick because you couldn't tell the difference between the oregano and the wheat. And the dirt weed. Yeah, you're trying to make a quick transaction. It looked like the weed we were smoking. And then every once in a while

was someone would bring the quote sticky, icky, right? And the sticky icky just meant that it kind of resembled marijuana. And you pay 30 times as much for it. And then you, they would hoard it like it's a, and it's like it's gold, like you know. It's, it's, it's smoked like five regular bows and then we'll get one little sticky Iki

just to top it off. Just to give me that punch. Me neither the fifth bowl of wheat, I was like out in a tree naked, like screaming at it. Turn on the wall. Ha ha ha. Wall. Oh, they're good on wall. They're good on wall. I got stuck the other turn on the wall. The good old wall. I got stuck the other night watching the wall

in its entirety. What? Yeah, and I can't remember. I think it was in Berlin is where they were doing it, but it was the wall in its entirety. Cindy Lopper was there, like they had a bunch of guest people and they did it from step to stern. And it's on YouTube.

Okay. It's like an hour and I don't I've ever longed The wall is an hour and 48 minutes long. It's brilliant. It's like the best version of the wall I've ever heard Did you smoke some sticky? Oh, man I was like sticky Iki in it out here the only sticky Iki I got around here is Nico. That's the only sticky Iki I got it's like Iki Iki sticky sticky sticky. Oh, he's the stinky Iki. He's got a stinky binky He's the stinky stinky stinky stinky stinky stinky stinky stinky He's got a dingus into the day. He's literally got a stink eye. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, he goes and so

We're like trying to give it our best shot with Nico right? It's we had this conversation before in case those of you're just catching on to the show I got a ghost dog that's walking around the house. He literally looks like a ghost dog He's white. He's tiny. He's thin, he's like a rail thin. He doesn't really know where he's going or what he's doing. He just kind of walks between walls. Yeah, what he thinks he talks to ghosts, because he'll just stare off and like then bark. He'll get nervous all of a sudden about something and like run away.

Sometimes he'll yelp for no reason. And then like, what do you see, Nico? Tell us. I know. He's like the Chakurita Caputo of dogs.. He's like, that's a recent caputo of dogs. Like, he's just, he's tuned into something we don't know about. He knows, he's another frequent.

The other day, I caught him, like, staring at the tree for almost, for 15 minutes. He stared at the tree. He wouldn't move. He was just staring at that tree. He looked scared, shitless. If he could be any more white, he would be white. Like, if he had any more pale, he would be pale.

And then he turned around. Like, I watched this whole thing go down. It was like on a phone call. And then I watch him, he turns around, and then he goes and starts drinking the chlorinated saltwater pool. And I'm some like, I open the window and I'm screaming out of, Nico, stop, Nico. And he literally looked the other way.

He was like, he didn't look toward me, he looked the other way. Like, it was talking, what? Ah! Ah! Oh, Nico you go. So, let's see. It's a sweet. So, the doctor wants to put them on like a cadre of medicines.

Yes. So, I go yesterday, I go pick up the medicines. And then I say to the lady, the nice lady at the vet, I say, hey, listen, but you know, they've got this eye problem, and we cannot get rid of it. It's, he's got this gunk that builds up in his eye, like a lot of, you know, malteses do, they have the gunk,

but not like this. It gunks up in a week. It's like a holy shit storm going on underneath his eye. So she's like, well, just put them under some warm water and see you do your best. And so, Astrid draws the straw, short into the stick. And yesterday, she's giving him the bath. She puts that dog under water.

And the problem is that Niko is so scared of everything that he will bite if you even get close to him. Right? He'll be, if he's scared, he'll bite. He doesn't have any teeth, but, you know, still, you don't want to nummy. You don't want to nummy. You don't want to gum me from the him, right? He'll be, if he's scared, he'll bite. He doesn't have any teeth, but, you know, still, you don't want to nummy. You don't want to nummy. You don't want to gum me from the dog, right?

No. So she's doing this whole number, like, pop, pop, pop, she's trying to, like, I'm throwing the towel over his head. I mean, basically we're terrorizing him. For absolutely no good reason. But this gum gunder as I got a go, it's like it can get infected, probably is infected.

That's probably why the gunk is there. Poor Nico, I mean, so I'm basically holding him, I basically have a towel wrapped around his head. So, you can't do anything. It has, there's got gloves on it. She's like, you can imagine what the point of view is at the doll. The poor guy is like, stopping wet, right?

Water running all over him, and you got this big, you're being held by a loved hand. You're being nused by this towel, and you got this big you're being held by loved hands being news by this towel and you got this glove to hand coming at you. That's sticking its finger in your eye. Poor fucking dog. But the other problem that we have now is that Niko is shitting and pissing all over the house.

Oh yeah. Because that's one of the doggy dementia things. They don't, they are forgetting that they have to go outside or they're too scared to do so. They don't want to go far from you because they're nervous that they won't, you know, I can only imagine. What a fucking nightmare dementia is. Can we figure that problem out before we get old, Chrissy? Yes, please. I feel like I have it sometimes already. I'm like, what's the name? Who's the name? What's the, what's in the Fleetwood Mac video the other day? I couldn't remember the name of the lead singer and I'm like, what's our fucking name, Stevie Dex?

So I can only imagine what it is. I attribute that because I get that too but I think everybody does we were inundated with so much information. It could be true. You know it's hard to keep it all in there. With two kids it's like you out there may not be in this particular situation, but if and when you ever have children, you'll figure it out that first of all, you're sleep do windows to almost nothing. And that also I think has an effect on memory. It's a matter of fact, they said that all the timers and sleep may be connected.

Absolutely. Which is holy shit scary because I've never slept in my life. I've never been a good sleeper. Yeah. And so I'm really nervous about that. And now I'm trying to be a better sleeper. Yeah.

I've got my, how do we do that? The apple on my watch. How do we do that? I need some like animals. Animals. So anybody going to Denver, you can send those to the TCP podcast website brand new, tcpodcast.com. So the shitting in the pissing is driving me up a wall. You have hardwood, you have hardwood floors. There's P all over the place. Right now, so I got, now I got two dogs that chitin' piss in the house because Blue never learned to go outside.

No, she didn't. But she'll go on a pad at least. If she doesn't go outside, she'll go on a pad. And she knows not to go outside that pad or we're gonna get upset with her. Yes. But now Niko's doing it and there's nothing you can say

because I don't think you can hear you. I don't think you can see you and I don't think he knows. I don't even think, if you're yelling, I don't even think you know that and I don't think he knows. I don't even think if you're yelling I don't even know if you're yelling at him. Yeah, I think it's end of days for Nico. Yeah, yeah It's always sad. I'm talking it out here on the on the podcast He's really are in a funny way, but the truth is it's end of days for Nico It is, you know, and it's always sad. I've had to do it quite a few times

My life grew up with a lot of animals. My mom always says. Hang it on as long as I can, but I don't think I can hang on too much longer because. Well, you want quality of life for that too. And for me, I want quality of life for me and my children. Like, and I have a newborn coming into the situation, you can't have pee-pee poo-poo everywhere. That's just kind of gross. There's diseases and all kind of stuff.

But when he gets to the point of being scared to go outside, is anything really making him happy? Probably not. Treats, but I could feed him treats till he's blue in the face and that's not like that's not quality of life either. That's just sustenance. The guy's so skinny that just not just basically giving him an extra little bit of sustenance. So I asked her, I'm in the shower today and Astrid comes and she walks and she slips on his fucking chest. So I was going to say that and she's pregnant. She's pregnant and big pregnant. She's like, yeah, a far along. And so.

Yeah, that's dangerous. Yeah, what are we gonna do? So I kinda chickened out on the conversation with the doc the other day cause I didn't wanna see that guy that just wants to kill my dog. So when I went there to go talk to him about this specific thing, I just kinda chickened out.

He's like, oh well, let's give him, you know, 500 CCs of this and 12 CCs of that and 30 c. And we'll see if we can squeeze a couple extra months out of him. I'm like, what is he a fucking used car? He's going to squeeze a couple extra months out of him. That's your foot or foot down today. She's like, if you want me to go with you, I will go with you. But like he's not happy. I'll help you. You want to take him? Go take him. Yeah. I'll do it for you if you would like. Yeah, we need, yeah, you wanna take them? No, I'll take them.

I'll take them. The other thing too is, You can also have the ones that come to the house and do it at that house. Oh, really? My mom had it done before I left. It's gotta be expensive. I don't know, I don't think I wanna do it at that house

because I think blues is gonna help it along. Like a blue season, you go getting some extra attention, it's gonna be murder on the floor. Yeah. That's the other thing too. Is that blue senses like there's blood in the water. And she's just doing the dog thing.

She's doing the dominant dog thing. She is, I saw her. She's like nipping at it, right? She's like fucking with them. And I'm like, don't be so mean, stop that. And while there, it's the nature. It's the nature. Yeah, and he goes weak.

It's a blues. Blues, not that strong either. Yeah. Blues got it. Blue could stand again, shake a little goes vegan. Blue's not that strong either. Blue's got it. Blue could stand again and shake a little bit too. Blue might need to get on the treadmill. Oh my God. Blue started to look like one of those hot dogs.

I bet. She's like a foot long now, but she's a foot wide as much. She really is. She's too much. So when when Astrid slips in this PPP poopoo today, I there's one thing in this on this earth. You know, I have an extra sensitive nose. If one piece of poop is coming out of my out of anything in this household, it could be on the other end of this very long house. If it hits the air, Brian knows about Astrid will tell you she's like, you have an amazing nose. That's crazy. Because I'll be

like, Astrid, me and he's a diaper changed and she'll be like, no, she doesn't she's like you have an amazing nose that's crazy because I'll be like at Astrid me and he's diaper changed and she'll be like no she doesn't she's in poop and I'm like she poop she poop and without fail every fucking time. Holy me a poop right I know I can smell tune it so when this happened it just reminds me of how much I dislike poop I don't like poop myself like I wish I didn't poop myself. I mean who do who loves poop? There's some people that aren't bothered by it like ask her doesn't mind changing a poopy diaper. Yeah this is what you want. This is what you want. I mean if you don't care if it's my child. Or a random poop. This is what you will hear. This is what you when Brian is changing a diaper. You ready? Ah!

Ah! Oh! Ah! And then as soon as I say, do you want help? Yeah, please! We haven't even taken the diaper off yet. I just, let's smell like it. I'm such a child.

So we got to, that reminds me of how much I dislike poop. It also reminds me of a video that I found on the internet archive that is taking poop to a whole other level. Oh god. Oh, okay. And now that I want you to know that this is not going to be extraordinarily graphic. So I don't want anybody to like think that I'm about to go gross you out with 30 minutes of, you know, we're about to go into a jackass territory.

We know we're not going into the jackass territory for sure. But the things that they are doing with poop these days is amaze balls and highly disgusting. You will not find me doing this no matter how bad the nuclear winter is. You will not find me doing this with poop. So I was trolling on the internet. Oh, as you do.

As I do like to do, and I found a lady who's making the best of her shitty situation. Alright. Hey everybody, let's take a short break from this commercial break for a commercial break. We love hearing from you, the listener, and man so many of you have been sending in questions, comments, concerns, and content ideas. Plus, you've been asking for our advice, telling us stories, and sharing a little bit about your world. If you'd like to do that, you can at tcbpodcast.com. Go to the website, click the contact us button, and drop us an email,

I promise we'll respond. You can also send us a text message to 855-tcb-8383. That's 855-tcb-8383. That's 855-T-C-B-8383. It's toll-free from anywhere around the world. Do us a favor and like, subscribe, and review on your favorite podcast platform. It really does help grow the show. And if you want to see Chrissy and I in a different light, you can go to youtube.com, slash the commercial break, and watch our full edited episodes a few days after they air. At the commercial break on Instagram and you can still use 661, the word best, the number 2, y-o-yo, to text or leave us a voicemail.

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And we want to thank Lululemon for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Go on, guys. Get yourself a pair of Lululemon pants. You're going to love it. Are you ready? Yeah. All right, let's give her a shout out.

This is Gardenerd. Is the gardenerd. Gardenerd, I guess is how a shout out. This is Gardnerd. Is the... Gardnerd. Gardnerd. Gardnerd, I guess, is how you say it. Here we go. Garden with nerd. Yep. Oh, hold on one second.

I turned on mute. Oh, there we go. Today is kind of a red letter day. Not kind of. It is a red letter day because I have behind me a giant gas bag. And I... I'm so excited about this. I can't even tell you.

I've been waiting a long I can't even tell you've been waiting a long time to share this with you. Now what this is is a home biogas digester. It takes food waste and animal meneurs and turns it into gas you can cook with or light a lamp with. And so since we live in earthquake territory where it's you know very very possible that we will end up off-grid for six months minimum when the big one hits the fault line, we wanted to make sure that we're as close to off-grid as possible, even though we live in the middle of Los Angeles.

You know, I admire the people that just go totally off-grid. I admire the people that totally go off-grid too and make a YouTube channel out of it. Yeah, I mean, it's very ambitious. It takes a lot of work. Totally agree. I've got a few people off-grid, and they... It's great for the environment and for everything else, but man, it takes a lot of work.

It's a lot of fucking work. And you know, this is how our ancestors live. But there's the reason why we've gotten to where we're at is because our ancestors didn't quite care for all that bullshit. You know what I'm saying? They were like, there's gotta be an easier way to do that. Yeah.

Never once in my life, what I ever think to have a gas bag in my backyard. No. But this lady is doing it. And what you're not seeing is a really lovely lady, probably in her 40s, yeah. Tone and fit and looking happy and behind her

is a huge neoprene bag that is full of air. It's like a big balloon sitting on the ground. And it's full of fucking shit. So being able to cook without natural gas or petroleum derivatives is really important to me. And the first step in doing that was getting the home biogas suggested. Now I'm not being paid.

The home biogas suggested. If you think for one second, I'm gonna start picking up the shit around this house and putting it in a gas bag so i can cook my food think about that i mean it sounds like you've got enough fuel though oh babe you don't even know how are things oh sunshine you don't even know there's a

i can now it would be the time like dogs yeah kids everybody i did the math based on this lady's conversion chart, and I think we can power Connecticut with Nico, Blue, and Mia.

You got the fuel. To tell you about this, I bought it. I got in on a Kickstarter, and my husband was a little freaked out when he saw that it's oh so attractive, because it's a giant. Your husband got freaked out about the look of the gas bag. That's what your husband was freaked out about.

Not the fact that you're going to start cooking his steak. What is dog shit? It's a gas bag. And it takes up about nine feet wide and six feet, I mean, nine feet long, six feet wide. So you do have to have space for it. And it has to be in full sun because that's part of the process. Heat helps build up the gas.

So, we set... Oh, lovely. Let's take the shit. Let's mix it into a slurry and then let's put it directly into the hot sun for 50 days. Yeah, God. This is not ski view out. Yeah, well... It's giving me out. I wonder if it smells.

Oh, let's ask her. This, first of all, we filled up the tank. This is the water tank down at the bottom. And instead of filling it with virgin pure water, we actually emptied our hot... Instead of filling it with just virgin pure water, we took piss from the dog. Oh, tub. We just 320-ish gallons, and it filled this whole thing up completely no waste. So this is recycled water that's in here.

We waited a few days to get the chlorine out of it, so there's no bacteria killing chemicals in there at all. From a tub? For fucking hot tub. Well, from a hot tub. She's switching out her hot tub for a backass bag. I mean, she's, no, well, no, I think they still have the hot tub. They just use the water for water.

Yeah, they have the hot tub. Now they're gonna start filling it up with shit so they've got plenty of fuel to cook their shitty stains. By the way, I really admire this ingenuity here. I do. Yeah, I mean, I really admire this ingenuity here. I do too. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying this is a bad idea. I don't, I'm personally grossed out by it, but yeah, that's your thing, cool.

And then we attach this biogas bag on top. And there are sandbags, 48 sandbags that I filled with. My own two hands took about an hour that go into these pockets and the green section up here and then you feed it with horse manure or cow manure or pure manure that has to be exactly as pure manure. I don't know. I was wondering. I think she's saying human shit, pure manure. Fresh, like no more than two to three days old. Oh God forbid you get the old stuff.

God forbid you get the old stuff. Oh. So we did it wrong the first time and waited and nothing happened and we thought we might have had a leak but we were communicating very well with the home biogas folks. Wait, you did it wrong the first time. Where were you leaving the shit? Well, I don't know. I guess they used old shit. Oh, where do you find old shit?

Where does one find old shit? I don't know. Oh, Chrissy, this whole process just like, but you're right, I could probably, you know, fuel a small town for months on this one. Yeah, you got super fresh. Yeah, the fresh. I got that dinky dinky.

That stinky stink. I got that stinky stink. Ha ha ha. Ryanaz, we can feel that they got a Ryanaz. All right. Mm. Tel Aviv, Israel, by the way, there in Israel. So we're communicating, you know, in different time zones

overnight. And we finally figured out that the manure that we used was just too old and had too much bedding in it. So we called up a friend who had horse, who's very clean about the way that she poops. And we... What? How are you clean about the way that you poof? The horse?

The horse or the lathe? Right, I don't know. Or maybe the lady and the horse are together. Maybe. Yeah, so they go out for their morning dump together. She takes her cup of coffee. They're clean about it. Here, you want an apple?

Time to shit. Clean about it. I you want an apple? It's time to shit. Clean about it. I don't know. I don't know. I think that's like antithetical if I'm just being honest. Put a fresh batch of manure in here and within a week this thing is almost completely full. So today we hooked up the tube,

which we have running along the back here, just for testing, we're gonna actually permanently install this, but here's how this works. Just real quick. Sure, your neighbors are absolutely thrilled about this gas bag contraption you got going on. I can show you.

You come over here and this is where you feed. This is the mouth of the digester. And you put your food scraps in here, or your chicken manure, your horse manure, your cow manure, or goat manure, or rabbit manure, whatever. Or your dog say any manure. Just say any shit from anything. Oh, God.

There's scraps too. She said the mouth of the contra- Yeah, the mouth. Fiend it. Yeah. Oh. Take those dung beetles. Even those seem better.

I'd be more friendly with the dung beetles than I would with my neighbor having a gas bag with a mouth that you have to feed. I think those dung beetles. Even those seem better. I'd be more friendly with the dung beetles than I would with my neighbor having a gas bag with a mouth that you have to feed. Again, cat manure, because you know how you can't compost most cat and dog feces because of the pathogen issue, you can put it in the bio-digester. So this is a great, it'll make it terribly sick

if you're composted, but you can cook with it. Oh, the coolest thing, because I've been wondering what to do with all the cat poop, besides throwing it in the landfill in a plastic bag that never breaks down, right? So you feed it into here, you mix it with some water, make a slurry, pour it in, and then it goes into here,

and... Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh. You know, they have those, like, this is like a big problem, can be a big problem out in the fields. Like when you go and people are raising cattle or chicken or whatever,

how do you get rid of the thousands of tons of poop? Like, you know, my dad worked in the cattle business for a long, not in the cattle business, but you know, he worked in the business where the cattle was being traded. Okay. And so he would go to these farms and there would be 100,000 head of cattle somewhere

and then they would run off all of this shit and it would go into this one pond and that pond would be called the slurry pond. Okay. But those slurry ponds could be three, four, five, six acres big. Yeah. And all it was was rainwater and cow shit.

Yeah. That's it. Can you imagine living within 50 miles of a six acre slurry pond? No. Horribly disgusting. The gas comes out the back end. And yes, I know the gas comes out the back end. That's convenient. That's the way this works as well. That's the way this works. Running it to a tube. And then we're're gonna actually boil our first kettle of water right now Oh man, how exciting is this your first shitty back shitty pot of water? party i

So this is the let's talk about the minutia of this first second. Let's look. Okay. I get it You've put the slurry in you get the farts out right right? And then the farts are going to, you're going to set on fire. Yeah, the gas. Yeah, like 13 year old boys at a sleepover party. You're going to set it on fire. Right. But if you're cooking something with literal ass gas, if you're cooking with a ass gas, isn't there some smell or taste that would come along with that? Like, when I cook with charcoal, I realize there's smoke coming out of it. I get a charcoal taste. Yeah. When I cook with wood, I get a wood taste.

If I'm cooking with ass gas, am I going to get nasty? You might. Am I going to get nasty smell? You might. Oh, I don't want anything to do. But just in case the huge earthquake has come and you're without power and you've got to have that stay. He!

Oh! Oh! So, that came with the home biogas unit and it has a gas burner that is retrofitted specifically for biogas. So you want to be sure that whatever you have that you're going to use to cook on has been outfitted with the proper modulation. This was a drunk perch. Modulation.

Yeah, this was a sticky, icky perch. And now she's like, not, I'm going through with it. I'm going through with it. Now that it's legalized, you know, we got to do, we got to get this one of those gas bags we've been talking about. All that shit coming out of my ass, it's not good for the environment. I'm going to take a dump in its mouth, and then the ass is gonna come out the gas in the bag.

And then we're gonna cook with it. It's gonna be great, but since we're vegetarians, we're only gonna cook ass for grass. You know what I'm saying, honey? Did you get that? Take a dead joke. Asphid grass. Asphid grass.

Grass for grass. Asphid grass. Whoever you wanna call it, four bio gas, okay? So don't try this at home, kids. Now we have a clicker here. Great, it's dangerous too. Not only is it smelly and disgusting, it's dangerous. Isn't it just gonna like, aren't disease,

isn't disease gonna run rampant around your house if you're just leaving shit all over the place and you got slurry and poopy and pee pee? I don't know, the balloon thing looked like it was pretty contained. Yeah, I guess. I guess it's the word. Yes, it's contained. I wanted to get a sterilization lamp for my ass after I shit.

I can't imagine having an ass bag sitting up. No, of course it comes. Drinking bleach to get rid of COVID. Case, this doesn't want to light because biogas can be harder to light than other gases, but this has a starter on it. So I'm going to start it. Okay, so the premise is you've got to let it run for a few minutes before you can light

it up. Right. So you get the smell comes everywhere. Yeah. I would never cook with this in my house. It would be so sick to my stomach. No. And it blitz.

But again, I admire. I admire what she's doing here. Yeah. And you know what? She's going to be the one laughing all the way to I'm gonna be trying to set blue Three-day-old shit on fire I saw it on a YouTube video honey

We're gonna be eating great tonight lit We're gonna be eating great tonight. It lit. Now, because it's so bright out, we can't see the blue flame, but there's supposed to be a blue flame here. I see flame under there, and we're just gonna wait and see what happens. We're probably gonna have to get some kind of a wind. The gas bag just goes to the bar. Y-Y-Y!

That won't be the best thing ever! You've seen that video of the whale that explodes? No. You've never seen the whale explosion? Oh my God, I already tell it's real or if it's not real, but it's been viewed like a billion times, right? But there's a whale rotting on the beach and some reporters doing a report on it

and it just explodes like because of all the gas, like the decomposing gases. That's why I's gonna have in my gas bag. My neighbor would never stand for this. Break at some point to help keep it from doing, you know, from blowing out. You know, the thing that's so cool about this biogaside jester is when the bag is full you get three hours of cooking fuel per day. So that's an hour for breakfast, an hour for lunch, an hour for dinner, if you even cook that much. So we're just going to boil this little kettle of tea for some time.

I don't cook that much, but my dog's apparently shit that much. Three hours in the morning and the afternoon did it. No. Tea. And see what happens. Well, this is just a thing. We're just gonna sit and watch a tea kettle boil. She's got a fast forward on this video.

It's like watching a kettle boil. Two minutes later. See, there's steam coming out of our tea kettle. This is so exciting. Listen, listen It's a teacadle fart It's a dick trumpet Yay! Okay, it worked.

I have always admired people who get this excited about these type of things. You know, it's not something that is, it's not ingrained in me to go out in the wild and try and figure out how to live off grid. I'm perfectly happy on the grid. And I know that may not do me any favors down the line if something really bad happens, but I'm enjoying the internet. I kind of like the natural gas that runs to my house. I agree. I love electricity. I get bummed out when I phone charger doesn't work properly. But I admire the people who live completely off grid or trying to live off grid and they're doing like these

ingenious things like putting shit bags together. Yeah. I'll let them get it together and perfected. And yeah. Absolutely. Once they figure out how to get rid of the smell, associated with shit and the shit associated with shit, I'm all about it. Once you can take air and turn it into gas bag, I'm all about it. I'm cool, man. Let me know. And hey, I mean, if we got to take some grass clippings and make those into methane, yeah. That's a good idea I can do that all day long Old dandelions old clothing, you know recycled batteries from my iPhone whatever

Shit, I'm not getting into this Chrissy. I just can't get into it I know you can't and I wish that I could because I would be a lot better for it You know I guess this reminds me of one quick more story before we go. Yesterday, a couple days ago, a plane in Miami had to make an emergency landing because of a smell coming from the cabin. But the smell wasn't shit, the smell was chemical. So you can imagine how nervous everybody gets on the plane, right? Everyone's like, oh shit. Is it something wrong with the plane or somebody's attacking the plane one or the two? And so they make an emergency landing and all these fire trucks.

And it turns out that some lady had a bottle of industrial strength nail polish remover in her purse that she or in her bag that she left up there and it spilled out everywhere. You know how pungent that shit is? It's very pungent. If I was on that plane, I would have been screaming like a little girl.

We all died! Ah! Yeah! It's it's very punch if I was on that plan I would have been screaming like a little girl I've been watching those YouTube videos and they never turn out well That's why Brian should never watch the YouTube videos about flying Because even though I like to fly I don't like when I'm out of control of the flying. Yeah All right, what do we learn today? Well, shit. We learned that Chrissy is volunteer to take Niko. Yes. His last doctor appointment.

You can come with me. How's that? We'll go together. Absolutely go for a first of all. Well, each of us a hold one of Niko's dog's fault. And here's the thing is that I read too. Like, I have put, you know, I've been through this process a couple times. And I always leave with the vet.

They like put you in the good buy room and I say goodbye and all that stuff, right? And you give them one last hug and one last treat and it's terribly sound. It is. But then I left. Yeah, you like at the request of the vet Really, the vet was like you can stay, but most people go, right? And we'll take care of them. Don't worry. But then I read from another vet online that that's like kind of a cruel thing to do like the last thing the dog sees as a stranger. And now I feel like an asshole. Well, but then they're gone. Yeah. I don't worry about it. On a side out of mind as Chrissy would say. Well, you'll know that the commercial break will continue to keep on as no matter what happens to Brian because Chrissy doesn't give a shit.

He's gone. Astrid jumping. You got to get my son. Try my son first. Well that's what I was saying too. You really need to check into the ones that come to the home. Yeah, I'll look into it and I'll fight you over. We'll do an episode of the commercial break and we'll say goodbye to Nico. Alright, well I guess- He can be our connection to the other side. Oh, he's already my connection to the other side.

Yeah, he's seeing things. I just wish I could talk to him about it. All right, the not new tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You can find out more information about Chrissy and I. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, send them through the contact us page over at the website. You have stories, story time with with TCB, ask TCB. Whatever you got, we'd love to read it.

Send it on to the website, tcbpodcast.com, or you can dial in 661-237-8296. That's where you send us text messages. It's not a spam text message line. Someone will reply, you know, eventually, someone will reply to that 661, the word best, the number two, y-o-yo, that's a commercial break on Instagram and the lovely Morgan has been doing a great job on the YouTube videos, youtube.com slash the commercial

break for full episodes after they ear here on the RSS feed. So I guess that's all we can do for right now. I mean, I'll know too much more about him to go cry about Nico and we'll be back. So I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say. And we must say, bye. Bye. then we must say bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star

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