The Commercial Break - Wobblin' Gobblin' Wishbone

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Episode #644: Happy turkey turkey gobble gobble wishbone thanksgiving day! Make listening to TCB your new Thanksgiving tradition

Hey Chrissy, best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off, but not us, Chrissy, we have bills to pay and miles to feed. So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of The Commercial Break this entire holiday season.

And I thought it was important to let our audience know. Jingle, jingle all the way home. Jingle, jangle your dingle dangles. Stick with The Commercial Break and stay tuned for the 12 Days of TCB, our ever 12 days of that's right December 13th through Christmas Day brand new episodes every day Happy Gubble Gubble Thanksgiving Day beans greens

potatoes tomatoes lamp Rams hocks mouse beans greens potatoes tomatoes chicken turkeys you name it 2024 On this episode of the commercial break. I love that wishbone. Every, I love that wishbone. Never once did a wish come true, but man, I love that wishbone. It's just the wish of the wishbone. Yeah, it's the hopeful nature of the wishbone.

You know? It's the thought that maybe something would break your way for once. The next episode of The Commercial break starts now. Yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Gobble to my Gobble. Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for joining us. Hope you're just having a wonderful day with the friends, with the family, with all those people that you dislike, but see once a year. You're gonna have to clean up your house.

The kids are running around. The Thanksgiving Day Parade is driving you crazy. It's that time of year. Yes it is. It's all officially the holidays. And man, do I love a good Thanksgiving day. I just do. I'm just a big Thanksgiving guy.

I think a lot of people love it. I was telling Christina when I was having a conversation with her, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my favorite three days of the year. There you go. Because I lost my virginity on 4th of July. So I think that's why, but Thanksgiving day, I just, I just love it. And I will be watching the Thanksgiving day parade and Christmas movies and the kennel club, the kennel show.

And I'll be doing all of it. Probably eating, hoping I don't get salmonella this year. The gift that keeps on giving through the entire holiday season. And putting aloe oil over my face, hoping it doesn't melt off during the meal. I'm hoping I'm not going to disgust anybody at the meal. My face is on fire. It's really red right now. But whatever.

I'm just doing some chemotherapy, Chrissy. Just some chemotherapy for Thanksgiving. Oh. So happy Thanksgiving to everybody. I hope, yeah, I hope it's going well. I can't wait to hear your Thanksgiving stories. That's all I request of you on this Thanksgiving. And let me start by saying this. We are extraordinarily thankful for all the listeners out there

who are with us brand new, stuck with us through the years. 100%. Yeah, I even know a couple of you have been here since the very beginning. I don't know why, but okay, all right. Thank you. I'd say if you're here after episode 350, 400, I can maybe understand a little bit why,

but if you're here since like episode one, I have no clue in the world why you would have made it the first 100 episodes. But God bless you, thank you to you, I give thanks. I am grateful for a lot of stuff this year, my family, my dear friends, my family, you would have made it the first 100 episodes. But God bless you. Thank you to you. I give thanks. I am grateful for a lot of stuff this year. My family, my dear friends, my health, absolutely. The health and the people who made me more healthy, like the doctors who caught it and the doctors who took care of it. And that's one thing I certainly am going to be saying thank you for this year because wow has my life changed in just short order it's insane how quick I got

better and anyway so hopefully you read a good review for that doctor place I did yeah I will give it a shout out again I think I talked about it I don't really remember what I talked about first couple days after the surgery because I was so high I really was I was so high. I really was. I was so high on thyroid hormone. But thank you to the Norman Parathyroid Center, surgical center down in Tampa, Florida, the world's number one parathyroid surgery, endocrinology surgical center for parathyroid problems. They are the best, they do it the most, and they took great care of me. Dr. Mitchell down there cut me open and made sure I got

stitched back together without a lot of effect to my voice and just some mild side effects that I think could be expected from any surgery in that area. So thank you to Dr. Mitchell and the Norman Parathyroid Center. And again, grateful to all of you out there. So what is the Thanksgiving tradition, Trish, Chrissy, that you look forward to every year? Do you guys have a tradition, like something you do every year that you really enjoy, you look forward to?

No. Okay, all right. And thank you for joining us on this episode of The Commercial Break. Well, we don't have something that like we do every single year. I think the Macy's Day Parade definitely is up there with watching that. And yeah, I think football, football games. Yeah, OK. We will probably turn on the football this year. The football will be on Netflix.

So I probably will be watching it intermittently in 2K. I'll be watching it in 1K. Yeah, we'll see how they manage to fuck that up. Cause that's going to be live also. It's amazing that they actually managed to score the rights to those Christmas day games. You would have thought that the big networks would have said, this is like one time a year. Talk about a tradition. Yeah, talk about a tradition. CBS Thanksgiving football. I mean, that, I think that's where it was at anyway.

But, you know, NBA on Christmas day, football on Thanksgiving, college football on New Year's Eve, that's the things you, that's what you think of, Masters on Easter, that's what you think about, right? And so, it's just amazing to me that they lost those rights. And it just signals how big and powerful and benevolent Netflix has really become in the entertainment industry for all things content.

Now they need to get it right. That's what they need to do. If they should fuck up the football, which I would imagine there will be more people watching this football than even watch the Jake Paul fight. Um, 60 million people tuned in live to the Paul Tyson fight. I'm gonna imagine somewhere between the two games around a hundred million people will tune into that across the world at any given time. It is a big deal. So let's see how they do. I'll be here to report on it. You know I'll be here with blood hanging off my fangs if Netflix fucks it up because they need

to get it right and we need to make sure they get it right. We pay too much money for them not to get the small details like that right. How can CBS figure that out? A hundred years ago and Netflix can't figure it out today. I mean, it's all pretty much the same. Like I realized that the, uh, that the signal now comes through, like that it used to come through the over the air, right? It was a whole different animal back then, as long as you had, were with an eyesight of a tower that was sending a signal, you didn't have congestion problems. But it's all working the same way now. It's all coming through some service, some internet based service or a coax cable. They managed to get it right.

Whabam! Whabam! I take a big tower and I put a thing on it that I don't know, something happens and wabam! TV! Marconi Awards or something. The FCC and Marconi, they all got together with Tesla and wabam!

Color television. I remember reading about how that happens, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But anyway, Netflix. So yeah, we'll be watching the football too. Family, spending time with family. Yes, we'll say, we'll give thanks. Maybe we'll run out in the backyard and throw the football if the weather is nice. It looks like at least when we're recording this right now, it will be

raining on Thanksgiving Day. And that's okay too, a good rainy Thanksgiving Day. Why not? It'll be cold and rainy and sit inside. Maybe we'll build a fire. That's usually when we get our first fire of the year. Ooh, a good fire. Yes, I haven't had my chimney swept yet. I miss the fireplace. You do?

Yeah, I think that I've always wanted a fireplace everywhere where I've lived. It's one of the first things I look for. A sunroof in a car, a fireplace in a house. And if I don't have one, I feel like I miss it. But then when I have one, it feels like a big pain in the ass. You know what I'm saying? I don't and I don't have a gas fireplace. So for me, I have to build an actual fire and it usually gets smoky in the house

because it just does and that and it's annoying. So maybe five times a year. So maybe I'll get out there. Yeah, fire pit. Why not do that? pit, so maybe I'll get out there. Yeah, fire pit, why not? I love a good fire pit. What are you gonna have for Thanksgiving? What are you gonna be cooking as we're speaking?

Well, we're actually just ordering stuff this year and cooking a few things. I usually do a dressing, a cornbread dressing, stuffing. Okay, all right. There's that, but we're gonna do turkey. Cornbread dressing. Never heard of it. Is that cornbread that you put other stuff in?

Yeah. What other stuff do you put in the cornbread? Well, it's a whole recipe. It's been handed down from- I know, but like what's in it? Like is it just- Some spices, some cornbread, then there's like chicken stock in it too, and celery, onions, all kinds of stuff.

Really? Never heard of that. Okay. All right. All right. I guess it's better than the oyster casserole stuffing I made one time for my wife at the time. Yeah, I know the oyster. No, raw oysters in a bucket that I had to like slop into the- Some people love it. But yeah, no, mine's that old tradition with the cornbreads. I think it's pretty Southern tradition. And then yeah, and then we're doing Fox Brothers. Turkey, ham. A smoked turkey, huh?

Sides, yeah. Wow, good. That sounds delicious. Pies. There's going to be quite a few pies. I love a good pie. I can put my face in a pie. I'll be here all week.

Apple, pumpkin, and pecan. Apple, pumpkin, and pecan. Apple, pumpkin, and pecan. Not a huge fan of pumpkin or pecan pies, but man, do I go for an apple pie. Tell you what, Chrissy, that is my jam. Yeah, we'll be doing a lot of the same things. We're going to be doing the traditional, as I mentioned maybe last week, we're going to be doing the traditional Thanksgiving feast for the first time in many years. So we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to hear it. If I don't end up shitting my brains out the next day, I'll consider myself lucky to have survived it. And I'm on a diet, so I don't know how I'm gonna handle all this, but I'll wing it. I'll see how it goes.

Yeah, you'll make your way through it. Yeah, it's gonna be hard to go through all of Thanksgiving without a lot of carbohydrates, because that's the best stuff is the carbohydrates. The stuffing, the bread, the sugars, the pie crust, I mean, that's everything you want. So I think I'm just going to have to put the diet on hold. I've lost a pound and a half. I can put another pound back on and I'll still be net negative. Net negative. That's how I figure. Well, I thought what we would do is do two things. We should talk about some strange Thanksgiving traditions from around the world, not around the world, around the United States, around the world. I was going to say, we're the only ones that do it. We are the only ones

that do it. There are other versions of Thanksgiving in other countries, but it's not this day and they don't say Thanksgiving. But then also talk about some of the more odd Christmas classic movies that some people might be getting into this evening. Because that's one tradition that I know for sure besides the parade and the Kennel Club and the tradition of going around the table and giving thanks for a few things. We will always be watching a Christmas movie that night and probably listen to some Christmas music. That'll be the first day that I turn on the Christmas channel on Sirius because I can't deal with it before then. And, but after Thanksgiving, like after we eat Thanksgiving meal, which is usually earlier in

the afternoon, I do feel comfortable turning on the Christmas music. That's the time. That's when I feel it's appropriate. All right, here we go. You ready? Let's think, let's talk about some Thanksgiving traditions from around the country, and we'll see if we want to pick any of these up. See, it's perfect for you because you don't have any Thanksgiving traditions, so maybe you'll listen back to this episode on Thanksgiving Day, and you and Jeff and the girls will decide, let's do that. Yeah. Like the Thanksgiving gobble wobble, Chrissy, where some towns and some places, they host fun

runs where participants will dress up as turkeys or wear Thanksgiving themed costumes. I've heard of this. Combining fitness with holiday spirit, hopefully in a funny way. I have seen the gobble wobble pictures. As a matter of fact, I see them on Facebook, usually from older ladies on next door. They're talking about a gobble wobble that's close to my house. I don't think I would actually go to a gobble wobble, but I would look at pictures of a gobble wobble.

I've gone on a walk before on Thanksgiving Day. Yes, I've been on many a gobble wobble, but it had nothing to do with Thanksgiving and usually after I drank. Lots of gobble wobbles. I had sex with a girl who did the gobble wobble on my dick one time. There you go. Oh, okay. The turkey trot, of course, the food fight. A family has a tradition of staging lighthearted, fun food fights.

Food fight? Yeah, and calling it the turkey trot. I don't know why they call it the turkey trot, but they turn the conclusion of their meals into messy, laughter-filled events by having a light-hearted food fight. Now, I am way too OCD for any of that shit. I was gonna say, that would give me anxiety of cleaning it up. Yes.

I would do a food fight in the shower. Or outside. Or outside, that's right. And then my kids would directly go into a dog bath or something like that. I would have buckets of hot water ready to douse them. There's no way that I would encourage a food fight in the South. I'm not that kind of dad. When the kids break out the markers or the paints or something like that, Astrid has a bit more tolerance for stuff like that. But when they get into like those sensory games where it's like mud or Play-Doh or stuff like that. I'm always hovering. I hover. I'm

like, ah, don't get it on the table. Ah, don't do that. Ah, don't get it on Blue. And Blue is the one who always ends up the messiest. Of all the children, I always end up washing Blue because she thinks inevitably everything's food. And oftentimes now my, you know who gets into a turkey trout food fight every night is my youngest with Blue. Yeah. Because the two of them are thick as fucking thieves. They are. They are. They love each other.

And the reason why Blue loves her is because she feeds her everything that she eats. And my daughter just thinks it's like, I don't know, like a pet dragon or something. She tries to ride her around and grabs her ears and, you know, sticks her hand in her mouth. It's a lot of fun for my daughter. But what she does do is if she doesn't like something to eat, she'll throw it under the table at the dog, but the dog just stands right directly under her. So most of the food ends up in the dog's long hair, not fur, hair. So that dog has had more baths than I have in the last two weeks and it's driving me fucking crazy. Thanksgiving gratitude rocks,

Chrissy. You could take this one up. Oh, the gratitude rocks. The gratitude rocks. Some families will pass around a rock or a stone during dinner. Each person takes a turn sharing something they're thankful for. It's a tactile way to encourage gratitude, but then it can lead to some awkward moments. Yes, there are family members that will be at my Thanksgiving that I would throw the rock to while they're not looking. Your turn. Your turn. This one's for all the immigrants. We're all immigrants. Thanksgiving rock. I'll be God damned if I'm going to bring a stone to any of the dinners with my children. There's no way. I know what would happen. Pine cone turkey crafting. I'm

not too crafty, so I wouldn't be interested in this. Instead of traditional decorations, some families make pine cone turkeys using googly eyes, feather, and ridiculous materials. The resulting crafts can be both adorable and absurd. Who wrote this? Marie Claire? I mean, honestly. I think there's, I've seen some school kids bring home those pine cone things. I think I feel like I maybe did it too. Yes, the hand turkeys.

The hand turkey for sure. Pine cone turkeys. My kids will bring things home and they'll go, I made this for you daddy. Yes. Which I know means, I was forced to make this for you daddy, but I still love it. I have a whole collection of it in one of my drawers. I keep all those things that my kids get.

That made me think because I was recently cleaning out a box of old stuff that my parents had kept and had given me and I found some of those old crafts. Oh, you did? Of my own. Oh, okay. And then I threw them away. Yeah, let's, who really needs the, I was the line leader today certificate from third grade.

I found so much stuff like that. I don't even wanna keep the yearbooks. Of course, I went on this whole- I just threw away some yearbooks too. Oh, you did? Your own? Uh-huh. I finally was like, it's time.

Good for you, look at you. I was like, it's time. Why do I need my old middle school yearbook? I don't. You don't. I was looking, I, you know, as the calcium has cleared my brain, I'm getting these memory flashbacks that I just haven't, things I haven't remembered in years. Or I don't know because I didn't remember them. So I'm remembering them like they're fresh memories. It's really weird actually, they pop up. And I remembered a girl that I had dated briefly in high school, but she went to a different high school. So I went online, I remembered her name, and I found her yearbook from a different high school online.

Oh yeah, they have yearbooks online. Yeah, it's all online now. What do you need it for? But here's Brian two years ago, bitching and complaining about every yearbook that we have to keep, and then I need a yearbook and I can't find it. Of course. The Turkey Dance Competition, where people get to each family member, provides their best googly-woogly wobble dance in front of the others.

And then they go ahead and you judge it. And then maybe there's a prize at the end. We like dancing here at the house. Oh yeah. Yeah. We oftentimes, you will find us at the end of a night, we're getting into this thing called a brain break. Do you know what this is? Mm-hmm.

Okay, you don't because you have so many small children. But on YouTube, there's endless brain breaks. They're little games that you play on YouTube. So it'll be like emoji mashups, like try and guess the movie based on these three emojis. Okay. Guess the name of the movie. Or who named the voice of this character. Or they can be physical, like run and jump over the hurdles as they come towards you, right?

And then there's like little dancing competitions too. So we will often either be playing our own music and dancing, or one of the kids will act like they're the singer and they'll put on a show, complete with popcorn and lights and security and the whole nine yards. It's very cute. I love it. I've recorded a couple of them. I'll show you.

But so I think Turkey dance might be the one thing that maybe one of the things that we pick up from there. What about Thanksgiving karaoke? Oh, there's a good one. I like that one. Half song Hoadley can get into Thanksgiving karaoke. Yeah. I don't know.

I've never really been a karaoke person. Have you? I see the fun in it. No, I haven't been a karaoke person. I don't seek it out. I've actually probably only done karaoke three or four times in my entire life. Maybe I've done it a couple. One time we rented an entire karaoke room down on Buford Highway.

They had this very famous karaoke place and we rented an entire karaoke. We had dinner at the place and then we rented one of those karaoke rooms, probably the size of this studio. Big TV on the wall. They're all over the place in Japan, right? Four or five microphones. Yeah, now they have two or three of them here in Atlanta. Four or five microphones in the room and then, you know, you pick the song, literally you could type in the song

and it shows up and it's got the lyrics and everybody takes a turn. You can, they can videotape it for you and all this other stuff. It was really very interesting. But I found that the, I had to be really inebriated to get in, fully into it. Right. There's got to be some libations going on. And then the only, the only, the time that I really remember doing karaoke was live karaoke down at, what was that place? In the Highlands? The Highlander. Oh, yeah, yeah. At the Highlander.

Yeah, yeah, that was a fun one. I didn't get it. You got up on the stage. I did. Rock and roll karaoke. They have a band on stage with you. I put my name in there. I had this friend, like a friend for a minute. You know, one of those guys you like spend some, person you spend some time with for like a month or two and then you never talk to him again, not because you dislike him, just because whatever. We all move on. And he was an opera singer, like a trained opera singer. Wow.

And he took me to my very first rock and roll karaoke at the Highlander. And we went and he was like the first guy to rush up and put his name in there. And he sang some version of a Queen song, very operatically. Listen, it wasn't my thing, but he was very talented and the crowd appreciated the effort that he put into it. He was very operatic about his singing, like dramatic and operatic and kind of like,

you know, a lot of trills. And I put my name in there. He goes, put your name in there, because it's likely you won't get picked. Like there's only 10 people a night that get to go up there or 12 or whatever it is. And I was like, okay. Metal-some. Metal-some. Yeah. Is that the name of it? I think so. Yeah. Metal-some karaoke. And so I put my name up there and I got in. And you got in.

What did you sing? I sang Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child of Mine, which is about six registers too high for my voice. Did you get to choose or were you just thrown in? No, you get to choose. You do, I can't remember. No, they have a book and you can choose. Yeah, I think if I'm not mistaken, maybe they make you pick three songs, but the band was spot on,

and the guy who was playing guitar hit every fucking lick. And I was just, I was singing in a lower octave because I couldn't, so I started high. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet child in my hand. I ended up sounding like a bad Axl Rose impression. So I brought it down to register the second verse and everybody was thrown off by that, including me. And then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet child of mine. So now I'm doing baritone sweet child of mine. It did not go

well. I mean, people clapped. I mean, people clapped. Yes. And there was even one girl who I think like kind of took a liking to me in the front row. But, you know, yeah, she was drunk. Listen, if I got a second shot at it, I would do something more in my register, like maybe a Pearl Jam or something, a song like that. Like something a little more in my register.

But I don't know, I just, it was the first thing that came to mind. I saw the list and I was like, oh, sweet child of mine, whatever. I think I picked sweet child of mine. Wait, I remember sweet child of mine. And then Alice in Chains, man in the box. If I don't, if I'm not getting this incorrect, I chose those two songs. And when I got up, the guy was like, we're going to do sweet child. And I was like, oh, okay.

And then he was like, he was like, what key do you need it in? And I go, the natural key, the natural key. And he looked at me like, see? And I was like, yeah, see. High C, I need a high C, the natural key. I meant to say the original key, but I, the natural key. I meant to say the original key, but I said the natural key. Now this is all coming back to me. I love my new brain.

It's working so well. Yeah, and I got up there and I was so sweaty and scared. And I was like, ah, and I, she's got, ah, ah. It's like you're at a concert. I mean, there are, yeah. Oh, there was like 200 people in the room. I had a guy take me on a date there. Yeah. Yes. To go watch. Yes, it was like 200 people in the room. I had a guy take me on a date there. Yeah.

Yes. To go watch. Yes, it was packed. It was like, and when it first started, it was like, people waited outside to get in. So it was like, it's a smaller room, thin, long room. And there was a couple hundred people in there and they were all getting into it until Brian slaughtered a sweet child of mine. It was in sea. It was in high sea, but I was in low sea.

She's got eyes of the bluest skies and if they have a breed. Nice. She's got eyes of the biggest guys and if they were, Wow, wow, wow, wow, sweet child of mine. Wow, wow, wow, wow, sweet child of mine. Oh yeah. That's all you needed. Oh, listen, this is a confidence booster of epic proportions.

I did not take him up on the, that's probably why we weren't friends anymore, because he said, let's go back to Meddlesome. And I goes, why, so you could show me up again? No, thanks, Jack Hole. You embarrassed me. All right. Hope you're having a great Thanksgiving. We'll be back in just a minute with more fun and shenanigans on this holiday, on this, on the kickoff of Christmas.

In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast and go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for more information about Brian and Chrissy and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now please text us at 212-433-3TCB

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Oh man. So, a little bit of house cleaning. So, the 12 Days of TCB coming up December 13th through the 25th. We hope you join us. That's fresh episodes. Fresh episodes every day. We're supposed to be here and then extra episodes because I don't know why I agreed to that, but all right, who cares? We'll get through it. But for the 12 days of TCB, we're going to be bringing back some of our favorite content, some of our favorite videos, some of our favorite video creators out there like Frankie P and the PUAs and Teresa Caputo, Mountain Monsters, you know, all the regular, all the usuals that we've done over the years that have really become kind of staples here at the commercial break and favorites of yours. If you've got one you wanna throw in the mix,

if you feel like there's a segment or a content idea that we had or something that we did that just deserves a second look, go ahead and send it to us, 212-4333-TCB. Help a brother out. Yeah, if you can remember it. Yeah, if you can remember it, right. Because we can. Because we can. Yeah, if you can remember it. Yeah, if you can remember it. Right.

Yes, we can. Actually, I can remember. I'm up to like, I got nine days done. I just, those last three are really stumping me. I've got, there's, I'm trying to decide between a few things. So I figure if the audience tells me, then maybe it'll point me in a direction. Okay. All right.

So, uh- Maybe, maybe listening to TCB on Thanksgiving will become one of those weird traditions. Thanksgiving traditions, yes, because it's always going to be on a Thursday. And as far as I know, we're contractually obligated, at least for another year, to do this on Thursdays. So there you go. Maybe it might be, and maybe we'll end up doing the Thanksgiving Day shows live. Wouldn't that be cool? Maybe your Thanksgiving, Chrissy, will be driving up here and we do a Thanksgiving show live. Wouldn't that be cool? Maybe your Thanksgiving, Chrissy, will be driving up here and we do a Thanksgiving show live. That'll be the new tradition.

Hey, listen, you know, it could be worse, I guess. We could be, you know, going to work at Target when they open at 7 PM or something. Did all those stores still do that? No, I think a lot of them backed off of it. Yeah, because of online. I think, yeah, I think most of them at least backed off of it enough where they said, okay, we'll open very early the next morning, like, you know, 5 a.m. or something like that, which was not that unusual anyway, because Black Friday most stores open very early.

But I do think there's a couple hangers on, like I think Walmart opens at midnight or something like that. But shame on them. I mean, honestly, let everyone have... And I know, family. Listen, you know why Thanksgiving is also one of my favorite days of the year? Because you can go out of the fucking house in Atlanta and not get stuck in traffic. Yes. Christmas day, Thanksgiving day, July 4th, at least until about 6 p.m., July 4th, New Year's Day. Those are days when you can drive in Atlanta like it used to be back in the early 90s,

just not a lot of people on the road. So maybe I do want to come up here and do a show. Yeah, I mean, listen, if there's any day to come do a show, Thanksgiving Day might be it, right? So who knows? That's next year, we're talking about this year. All right, so more weird Thanksgiving traditions from around the country. Secret Thanksgiving Santa.

Oh, that's an interesting one. Similar to Secret Santa, some groups do exchange small gifts, silly little gifts with a Thanksgiving twist, like a turkey-shaped kitchen gadget, a funny apron, or, you know, I'm just going to throw this one in a turkey-shaped dildo, Chrissy. A little turkey head that goes like this on your clip. Okay. Oh, I got to tell you about something. I'm not going to say the name of this, but while we're on this turkey dildo thing, there is a potential sponsor coming on the commercial break. And how we, our network sells the sponsor, they vet the sponsor, they either pitch them or the sponsor

comes and says, we want to be on these podcasts. And then they communicate with us, I won't say how, but they communicate with us, not that it's a secret, I just don't want to get into every little inch of it. I won't say how. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying how because it's, who cares? Anyway, right? They communicate with us and they say, hey, would you accept this sponsor on the show? And we say yes, but we have learned over the years to be a little bit, just a little bit choosy about who comes on the show because there's a lot of sponsors who've been on the show. Um, we kind of have this rule, like if we won't use it or don't use it ourselves, or don't find it to be valuable, we won't do it.

And that includes certain categories of products. But then also, you just want to like, even if it's a product you might or might not use, you want to make sure the company itself is like one that you want to be butted up against. Right. Associated with. Associated with. you want to make sure the company itself is like one that you want to be butted up against, right? Associated with. Associated with. So we had this company that wanted to advertise on the show or their vetting and it was like, you know, go here if you would do a personal endorsement of the product, check it out. It's a website and that website is dedicated to teaching women and men

how to give women an orgasm in a very clinical, not pornographic way, right? So I was thinking, okay, drawings and stuff like that, you know, you have drawings and they, lots of words and, you know, maybe some infographics or something like that. And it said, click here for sample of product. And when I clicked there, it was the lady from the homepage, which I thought was stock photography. It was her. And she was giving a step-by-step instructional tutorial on how to give herself an orgasm in highly graphic detail. Really? At close up shots, multiple camera angles, talking the entire time while she's doing this to herself, in a very instructional way.

Now, first of all, I thought, wow, that is really, she really just laid it all out there. Literally laid it all out there. Spread eagle, every, you know, where the sun don't shine, the sun was shining. And first of all, second of all, what a great fucking idea. Like not a porn movie where you're trying to guess exactly how everyone's getting off, because usually no

one's getting off. They're just, you know, they're doing this for the camera. Right, they're acting. But then, like, a real woman showing you how she gets herself off in a manner that is how she gets herself off in a manner that is Instructional so that if I guess if you were dating her specifically then you would know it would be like a tutorial It's like a it's like a map to have fun It's like a map to make sure that everyone's having a good time in bed I loved it I thought it was incredible and I hope they come on as a sponsor because I will absolutely that and that they had the four

Women part and then they had the four men part, which teaches the men how to make sure that a woman- This is great. This is awesome. This is what the world needs. Because if a woman can have an orgasm like a man can, meaning most of the time, then doesn't everybody feel better, Chrissy? Everybody does. I do. I feel better. I can't do it, but if I could learn how, then everything would be great. And thanks for tuning in to the Family Edition on Thanksgiving of the Commercial Break. Maybe this won't be a holiday tradition for anybody, unless you're single or your family

doesn't love you. All right, thankful for the weird is another tradition. Instead of doing the usual gratitude, some families like to turn the expression for the weird is another tradition. Instead of doing the usual gratitude, some families like to turn the expression for the most ridiculous thing they can think of. Like, I'm thankful for my cat's judgmental stare. Ha ha ha ha! That's a good one.

That is a good one. Sounds more like an Instagram post than a Thanksgiving tradition. Yeah. But I like it, I like it, I'm with it. Guess the turkey weight. Oh, this is a fun one. Oh, I've heard of that. It's a contest where family members guess the weight of the turkey before it's cooked.

The winner gets to carve the turkey. How is that winning? I don't want to carve the turkey. You know, my dad, as long as I can remember, has always carved the turkey when we have a turkey or the ham or whatever. And only a couple times have I done that myself for whatever reason, because we were hosting or whatever. I'm not good at it. It seems, it's a lot of work. And I'd rather just sit and watch football and be served.

I mean, who wouldn't, right? But I think that, you know, I've known a couple of men in my life who really take this very seriously. Like the turkey carving, the meat cutting is their job, they know how to do it, they'll do it well. I don't really, I don't take any pride in that. I don't take any pride in much, but I certainly don't take any pride in my carving skills. The Thanksgiving leftover Olympics. After the feast, the families compete in the most absurd challenges using leftover food.

Like a relay race with mashed potatoes or a turkey toss with leftover turkey legs. This is another food fight thing that's not going to be happening in my house. But I will say, when we were having traditional Thanksgiving feasts, one of my favorite, favorite leftover meals was the following. You take a little bit of oil and you fry up the leftover turkey. You just give, you put it on a skillet, you fry it, make it a little bit crispy, right?

Take stuffing. We like the more like generalized, like stove top stuffing type thing, like bread stuffing, right? With some spices and some garlic, a little bit of celery. And then you heat that up in the microwave. You put that either in a hoagie roll or between two pieces of sourdough bread

with a ton of mustard. I mean, just like mustard it up. And that is the world's best Thanksgiving leftover sandwich, Chrissy. For you. For me. Okay. For me. And for other people that I have made it for.

They seem to like it. So. Okay. My kids, mainly. No, I'm kidding. Ooh, I like this one. A Thanksgiving roast session. Instead of sharing gratitude, family members take turns roasting each other

with lighthearted jokes and playfully teasing. I love this idea. This... You love a roast. I love this idea. He loves a roast. I do love a good roast. I mean, I don't like some of the more mean, mean, mean spirited roasts, but I do love watching a good roast. It does feel like fun to me to watch people knock each other down at the knees. And man, when I could, I roast some of my family members. I mean, if they were, if they had a sense of humor. Why don't you start it? Why don't you start that this year?

Because I think that some of my family members don't have a sense of humor, even if they'll laugh in the moment, they'll be upset about it for the entire year. And then I'll, I'll spend the next year saying, I'm sorry, I'll have to get them a better Christmas present which costs more money, which doesn't do me any good. So there you go. Yeah. me any good. So there you go. What was the other one? Thanksgiving time capsule, which I do like. I like this idea of taking stuff from the year that you're thankful for, writing it down, taking little, you know, little whatever trinkets or stuff that you collected over the year, put it in a time capsule, bury it in the backyard to be dug up by our ancestors.

Many, many, many, many eons from now. Yes. The next person who... The next gentrification runner on this side of town. Like that. Ooh, Thanksgiving charades. Instead of traditional charades, family members act out Thanksgiving-related phrases, foods, or traditions leading to hilarious interpretations and misunderstandings. Who wrote this? And misunderstandings. It sounds like an 80s, like a promo for an 80s sitcom. It does, yeah.

It leads to hilarious misinterpretations. Misinterpretations and misunderstandings. Every Tuesday at eight, Thanksgiving charade. I like the idea of a game. I do. We will play games a lot in our house too. Maybe that'll be something we do this year. How about the wishbone challenge? Ever broken a wishbone? I have. Did your dad used to do that?

Yep. Here kids, come grab the wishbone with me. Yeah. I love that wishbone. I love that wishbone. Never once did a wish come true, but man, I love that wishbone. Nicole Soule- It's just the wish of the wishbone. Jared Siffman Yeah, it's the hopeful nature of the wishbone. Nicole Soule- Pretty. Jared Siffman You know, it's the thought that maybe something would, maybe something would break your way for once. But alas, it was never to be. I like some of these Thanksgiving traditions.

I think- Beth Dombkowski I do too. Jared Sussman Carioca, dancing, maybe that time capsule shit, I don't know where I'd bury it, but I'd bury it. And then when do you, would you open it back up like 10 years from now? Beth Dombkowski I don't know. Jared Sussman I don't know either. Beth Dombkowski That's one, and then you're going to throw it away, so I don't know.

Jared Sussman Yeah. I thought about doing like a- Beth Dombkowski I'm doing my own time capsule purging right now. Yes, you're throwing it away, never to be found again by anybody. Some guy in India is gonna float up on the Indian Ocean and some guy in India is gonna be like, what's this 10 foot photograph of a woman? So I thought about doing a TCB time capsule one time, like taking little clips of some

of our best-ups, but then I really thought to myself, no one gives a shit. No one. Not even me. I don't even give a shit. All right, let's take a break and we'll talk about some holiday movies that you can watch tonight after you get done with your holidays. I need a new one. Okay.

I'm going to give you some ideas. Okay. All right, we'll be back. Have you been missing something from your life? Of course you have. You listened to the commercial break. And what you've been missing is me, right? No? Damn.

Well, if what you're missing is a little giggle, you should follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok at Tcv Podcast because, you know, we're posting clips, we're being silly, you'll get a little laugh out of it, I promise. If what you're missing is communication, text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and someone will respond, definitely. Unless you're being creepy or mean, in which case we won't. And lastly, if what you're missing is a jaunt through the internet, check out our website

at tcbpodcast.com and explore to your heart's desire. And those are really all the ways I can help you. So maybe you're missing something from our sponsors? Let's find out. I'm thankful this year I don't live with my mom. Yeah. How's that? There you go. We're watching that show.

Mama's Boy. Mama's Boy. And we'll talk more about that tomorrow on the show. But okay. All right. Movies. Movies. Let's talk about movies. Holiday movies. So what holiday movies will you be watching this evening? What's one, do you have a go-to that you guys will, will watch for sure? Well, not, I mean, not specifically maybe on Thanksgiving night, but throughout the season, I mean, I have a few go-tos.

Yeah. Christmas vacation, obviously. Of course. Number one, number one on the rotation, Christmas vacation. Well, another one has become number one for me and that's The Night Before. Oh, The Night Before. It's such a roguing, it's really funny. Yes, that's a good one.

I've got that on the list here. I'm going Bridget Jones Diary. Bridget Jones Diary. It starts at a Christmas time. All right, all right. I love that movie. And I'm trying to think what else. I mean, there's some that always kind of pop up, but I was thinking the other day,

I'm looking for a new one. Okay. This year. What's that? I'm going to give you a couple of good ones and a couple of silly ones. What is that movie? Uh, the British one, the British holiday movie where everyone's falling in. Love Actually.

Love Actually is a good one. That is one of, that's on the rotation too. I do like that. I'm a little, it's a sentimental favorite. I love the Family Stone. I know there's, It's a sentimental favorite. I love The Family Stone. I know this divides a lot of people. The Family Stone. But The Family Stone was Sarah Jessica Parker

and Luke Wilson and what's her name? It's a good one. Yeah, it's so fucking heart, it's touching. It's a touching movie. It's got funny parts in it. It's absolutely ridiculous, but I find it to be. The first time I watched it, I was just like, oh my God, this is a great movie. And now every year I have to catch the family stone, at

least once. Christmas vacation, of course. Elf is a classic. A Christmas story that is reserved for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I will probably watch a Christmas story at least four times over the course. Well, that one channel plays it over and over. TBS, or now it's TNT actually, plays that 24 hours of A Christmas Story. Die Hard is another Christmas movie. Die Hard is the one. And some people have argued, no, it's not.

Of course it is. It's on Christmas Eve. That's when they're having their big party at the Nakatomi Plaza, if you remember correctly, Nakatomi Plaza. I don't have to watch that one every year, but it's a good one. It's a good one. All right, well, here's, let me throw out a couple of new ideas for you, Chrissy, and who knows, maybe one of these will stick. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It's a classic where Martians kidnap Santa to bring joy to their children, resulting in a delightfully odd mix of sci-fi and holiday cheer. Huh! The movie was made in 1964. It is considered a cult classic. And I'll tell you what, I have watched this movie and it is highly strange. Remember we were watching, uh... Highly strange. Yes! I know! What's her name? Elvira.

Elvira. We were watching old episodes of Elvira. I wonder where that channel went. I don't know. Yes! I know! We've seen Elvira. Elvira. We were watching old episodes of Elvira. I wonder where that channel went. I don't know. I was looking for it. It's somewhere. I have it. Yeah, there's a channel that we now get on the cable service that I have that reruns

a lot of the Elvira Friday nights, like the Elvira at night or whatever it was called. Elvira was this famous Halloween-like character, like a witch-like character, with huge ta-tas that would have them just boldly sticking out. Dare to beware for the nipples slipping out. Never did, but everyone was waiting for it to happen. And then she would do these, she would run these... Commentate. Yeah, in between the commercial breaks, she would commentate on these sci-fi and horror movies, like really cheesy, crazy horror movies. And Chrissy and I were getting the biggest kick

for like a week. We were just watching this nonstop and we were getting a kick out of it. This would fit right in there. You would like this one. Jack Frost, does anybody remember that movie? Jack Frost, is that a horror one? Michael Keaton?

No, no. Jack Frost is with Michael Keaton. He plays a father of a boy who's on a hockey team, and they are the best of buds. And the father is in a band, and the band gets called away on Christmas Eve to play this big gig out in the middle of snowy somewhere. And unfortunately, the car goes off the cliff, and the father does not survive. This is like right at the beginning of snowy somewhere, and unfortunately, the car goes off the cliff

and the father does not survive. This is like right at the beginning of the movie. Shaky. And here's why I remember this movie. I know, you're like, oh my God, like, why would I want to watch this? Well, you might, some people might be sensitive to this because of course it's a terrible tragedy that happens. It's handled in a light enough way, but here's why it's very sad, is because after the father dies, the original landslide song by Fleetwood Mac is played during this movie at that moment. And if you don't cry during the landslide song in Jack Frost, you just don't have a heart. I mean, I swear to God. But then luckily, Michael Keaton's character comes back to life as a snowman.

Keaton's character comes back to life as a snowman. I don't think I've ever seen this movie. And teaches old Jimmy how to be a good hockey player. It's a heartwarming tale for the whole family. It's really a ridiculous premise, but it's kind of cute. And I've seen it many times. Maybe I'll watch it. Yeah. Jack Frost, 1996 Jack Frost.

I think it's a Disney movie, if I'm not mistaken. How about Gremlins? Polar Express is another one that I watch. I love Polar Express. I always found Polar Express to be a little weird for my liking. Yeah, you didn't like it. No, it's a little ethereal. I don't like the way that the characters look. It's like early CGI, early computer animation. But my kids watched it last year and one of them really liked it. So I imagine we'll be watching again. I don't have anything against it. It's just not my favorite movie. Gremlins is a Christmas

movie for sure. I just watched that maybe a little while back. I was like, old Gremlins, let me watch it again. And it's funny. It's a wacky movie, man. And if you were alive at the time, yeah, the mogwai. What if they go in the back of a little store and buy the secretive mogwai? And they talk, they speak English for some reason. And then they get wet and they turn into gremlin. They replicate. Spike. Yeah, Spike. And he's mischievous and causes all kinds of trouble and murders people.

It's a fun movie for all the kids. If you were alive when Gremlins came out, Gremlins took the world by storm for about six months. I don't know. There's like a Gremlins 2 and... Yeah, Gremlins 3, I think. I think there's a lot of Gremlins movies. Oh, here, let me throw one in there. Rambo. Rambo. Rambo, I think is set during

Christmas time when he walks into that town and the sheriff doesn't want him to stay and him and the sheriff get into the argument that makes Rambo go underground and start killing all the police officers. It's really a ridiculous movie. But Rambo, I think, while maybe not a Christmas movie specifically, is certainly set in snowy times. Let's put it that way. There you go. All right, Nightmare Before, or The Night Before. The Night Before. There you go. That's a great movie starring Seth Rogen. It's all about drug use and a big party. It's a lot of fun.

And it celebrates, you know, not just Christmas, but the Jewish culture also. It's a lot of fun. That movie is a lot of fun. It has become, I don't know if it's become like a cult classic for me, but it is one of those movies that if I watch it every year, I'm happy about it. Yeah. Also, Harold and Kumar's Christmas, White Christmas or something, I don't know what it is. It's their holiday movie. That is fucking fantastic. Also, that is really, really funny. Neil Patrick Harris takes a wonderful turn in that movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas could be a Halloween, could be a Christmas movie. It's up to you. It decides on how you look at it. My kids love watching this during Halloween, but it's also kind of a Christmas movie too,

hence the name Nightmare Before Christmas. A Christmas Horror Story is an anthology film that combines various horror stories, including a killer Santa and Krampus into a holiday themed fright fest. I remember watching this and it's very interesting. It was made like in 2016, 17. It's very interesting. So if you want a little bit of a fright with your holiday movies, then this might be one you get to sink your teeth into, Chrissy. Elf, of course, everybody loves Elf. Of course.

Except for somebody I know who didn't like, my wife first time she saw elf she's like I love this movie and I'm like how can you not and Who doesn't like elf I think it's my stepmom that doesn't like elf She's like, oh, I hate that movie and I'm like elf. How do you hate elf? How can anyone hate elf? How can anyone hate Will Ferrell walking into the coffee shop and saying you did it? Congratulations world's best coffee up and saying, you did it! Congratulations! World's best coffee! That's the best. If you really want to throw back at something terrible but terribly fun to watch, watch the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978. Really? Yes. All the characters make a great turn. It's like an ABC Saturday night special or

something. You can find it on YouTube. It's a crazy wacky holiday special with all the, you know, the, all the guys from the bar. Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, the Rudolph, the original one. Is that from like the 60s? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, which you can- The Land of Misfit Toys. Yeah, The Land of Misfit Toys. That's right. One of my favorite movies, The Land of Misfit Toys.

You, I think, can only buy Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on one platform. And I believe if I'm not mistaken right now, that is Hulu. It's like $19.99 to buy it. It's not worth the $19.99 even though it is a classic and everybody loves it who grew up in that time. You can also find it, and I'm not encouraging you to, you know, not pay the creators, but you can also find it on YouTube. So if you want to save yourself a couple of bucks before you buy it, go ahead and Google it first. Bad Santa.

Bad Santa. Is a good one. I do like Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thornton. That's a good one. The Ref. The Ref is a great movie with Dennis, not Dennis Miller. Why do I want to say Dennis Miller? Dennis Quaid? No, not Dennis Quaid. Dennis O say, why do I want to say Dennis Miller? Dennis Quaid?

No, not Dennis Quaid. Dennis O'Leary. Dennis O'Leary. Yeah. Is it Dennis O'Leary or Kevin O'… Who's that guy? Now, why am I, is this, hold on one second. I'm going to get this right because this is a great fucking movie.

The Ref. The Ref. You've never seen it? I don't think so. Dennis O'Leary. I say Dennis O'Leary. It's Dennis O'Leary. The smoking comic from've never seen it? I don't think so. Dennis Leary. I say Dennis O'Leary. It's Dennis O'Leary. The smoking comic from the 80s and 90s.

Yeah, I know Dennis Leary. Smartass, quick talking, real smart guy who did the, he was like a firefighter in that FX show for a long time. The ref is a movie about him as a thief. And he goes in, Kevin Spacey's in the movie too, he goes in to steal from a very rich neighborhood, he's like stealing from houses in a very rich neighborhood, he goes into a house to find a couple that is absolutely at each other's throats like on the verge of divorce, two of the most obnoxious people you've ever met

in a relationship, and he becomes the ref of the marriage while he's trying to avoid capture by the police. It is brilliantly done. It's a good movie. It is so fucking funny. Okay. It is really good. You gotta check out the ref. I will.

And one more just for shits and giggles. Well, two more. How about Krampus, the horror movie about the dysfunctional family who inadvertently summons up the devil himself, Krampus. Have you seen that Krampus celebration that goes on in Germany? I have. Where they all dress up in these horribly scary masks and they run around scaring the children.

I don't get it. I don't get it personally, but okay. It looks like something straight out of hell, but the kids love it, apparently. All right. And then one more, just in case you're really looking to have some fun tonight, you and the kids can go to bed watching Jingle All the Way, starring Arnold Schwartz. Jingle All the Way. Yeah, I forgot about that one. Home Alone is another one. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Home Alone. I know. I remember that. Yeah. Home Alone is another one. You one You can watch all those terrible Santa Claus movies with Tim. What's his name? Tim the Toolman? Yeah, that's right

Yeah, I do not like any of those Some people love them. I just don't I can't get into it the Grinch The Grinch you sold Christmas is a great one There's so many great Christmas movies a Muppets Christmas is a great movie If you were me and my daughter like to watch that one. So many great Christmas movies. A lot of them probably playing tonight. I would imagine Christmas Vacation is somewhere on TNT or somewhere like that this evening. So hope you get a chance to watch it. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Hope

you didn't get Salamonella. Hope you don't choose, you know, sweet child of mine next time you do karaoke. Tell them to do it in low C. Low C. I got a new microphone by the way. It's sitting right there. Yay. Yeah. Well, whenever I get around to it, I'll put that thing on. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for joining us. Grateful for all the listens. Grateful for all the support over the years and certainly this one. It's been a rebuilding year for the commercial break

here and I think we've done it, Christy. I think we can be grateful for, grateful for making a living. Yeah, for making it, quite frankly, for surviving what was a terrible six months for the commercial break. And maybe someday we'll talk about it, maybe someday we won't. But just know that because of you, we survived and we appreciate it. So, and we'll be back tomorrow for your Black Friday needs for all your Black Friday needs and all the way through the holidays, brand new episodes of the commercial breaks. So don't go anywhere. TCB podcast.com. That's where you find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location and starting next week, every

episode of the Commercial Break will be on YouTube and Spotify video. So please join us one or both of those places, youtube.com slash the commercial break. Also at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We're taking them all and we'd love to hear from you. Give me your ideas for the 12 days of TCB. I'd love to incorporate it.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say to incorporate it. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe, grateful for all your love, attention and affection.

Until next time, we always say, we do say and we must say. Goodbye. I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I have no family to celebrate Christmas with this year. The commercial break is live the entire holiday season to make you even more miserable than you currently are. So put your Christmas pajamas on, gather around the Christmas tree and listen to brand new episodes of the Commercial Break.