The Commercial Break - Yes Sir! Yes Sir!

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

We’re covering creatures of all kinds at TCB: giraffes, cats, a vampire Chupacabra, Big Foot, and the infamous possum. Check your panties! Storytime with Bryan A safari moment Giraffe tongue strength Mother Giraffe sacrifice De-clawing cats is cruel!!! Mountain Monsters A bloodsucking vampire Chupacabra That guy is all pupils Num num num (my no teeth sounds) Gun safety to the wayside Shake the camera, play some sound effects, and you’ve got a chase! Big Foot: One Call That’s All! Big Foot & Chupie  TCPossum LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Bet MGM operates pursuant to any operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Those who eat the devil's corn will choke on his cob. And there's a lot of people choking on that cob out there, and it ain't going to end up good for them. Not in the end. They're going to regret that cob and choking on it. You know what I mean? On this episode of The Commercial Break. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Like they're in a military regiment. Yeah. Every military in the world trains their special forces and making as Yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir! Like they're in a military regiment.

Every military in the world trains their special forces in making as much noise as possible when coming up on the enemy. Now by repeating, yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir! Every five to ten seconds, you're certain to surprise your enemy. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy!

Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the lovely co-host of the show and my dear, dear friend, Kristen Joy Odlegge. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Uh-oh. This fucking microphone.

Hello? Hello? It's always something. Beavis? Beavis? It's always something. I don't know what's going on with this thing. I know.

It's been acting up. If I don't press record, it never acts up. Once I press record, it acts up. I know. But I know that can't be the reason. Like, the record button can't be the whatever. Who fucking cares? No one wants to hear about it. So, okay, story time with Brian.

Check your panties. Check your panties. That's awesome. Check your panties. Where did that come from? I don't know. I didn't even know who put that in there. All right, story time with Brian. Years ago, I was dating a woman and we decided to go to a animal safari local here

in the state of Georgia. I think, have we been? Did we go? No, we talked about going. You told me about it. But I think I decided not to go. Yeah. Andrew, you told me about it.

Wisely. Well, I think you decided not to go because of the person that was going. Oh, that could have been. You didn't want to go with the girl I was dating. Yes. You wanted nothing to do with her. And you made no bones about it.

No thanks, not if she's gonna be there. Rightfully so, only took me three years to listen to you. Okay, so- Better late than never. Thank God. Thank God for small favors. So, the type of person who always needed to be doing something,

there was no sitting at home just chilling. It was always something. Let's needed to be doing something, like there was no sitting at home just chilling, it was always something, let's go do something, something, something, just that type of personality. And there's lots of people out there that are like that, and that's fine, whatever. But I was running out of ideas after three years. I'm like, I, I, you know, what do you, what do you want to do? We can never do the same thing twice because that was boring and that, you know, then we were on whatever. So we decided to go to this, I get, I find this Safari that I had been to previously. But when I got there, there's two ways to do it.

It's a drive through Safari. There's lots of different animals. You can buy a huge buckets of food and you can do it one of two ways. You can either spend an extra 25 bucks and rent one of their vehicles, which was usually a broken down van from the 80s with like jail bars on them so the animals couldn't actually get in and eat you except for you could roll down the front windows. No air conditioning, probably stick. It was like, it was a terrible, such disgusting because animal slobber is all over the cars. Like they don't clean them. They're just these

shitty vehicles that sit out in the hot sun all day and you can rent them for $20 if you want to. So I'm like, But why would you? Cause you're driving down there to get there. So that the animals don't slobber all over your car. Because these animals like bison and whatever they got, you know, woolly mammoths, I'm not even sure what the fuck is down there, but whatever is down there, you know, you don't necessarily want to tussle with those things and your brand new shiny car. And at the time, I had yet to lose my left front headlight and most of the hood. So it was kind of like that was my baby, right? Well, I get down there, I said the same thing to myself. I'm like, well, why the

fuck am I going to use their car when I got my own car? Save myself 25 bucks, right? Let's go, come on. It's a, what possibly happen. Yeah, what could possibly happen? As soon as she's as soon as I said I know as soon as I'm thinking that you know I knew that there was a small possibility that some damage could be done to my car But what I didn't realize was the animal that was going to cause that particular damage to my car what they were going to do So at the time back in 1922 or whatever it was, satellite radios that were not installed in your car when you bought it, means that you had to buy the satellite radio, you had to install it into your car, and then you had to have a little antenna that looked like

a magnet, a small round black magnet that got stuck to the top of the car. And if you got it done professionally, they would wire it such as, you didn't have wires hanging all over the place, you just had one tiny little wire that was on the driver's side on the top of your car. And then there would be this little black round thing on the top. And that would be your satellite radio receiver, the way that the satellite would actually send the programming to your car. So I had Sirius satellite installed in this car and that had that little black receiver. So we're driving and we get in. It's very long, especially if it's crowded, people go very slow, you can try and go around them, but it's usually just like a one lane turn

road. Around them. I'm picturing. I tried. I tried. The speeding up, the dirt ball blowing behind. I did. Just dirt blowing behind you.

It's just dirt. There's no grass left anywhere because the animals have eaten it. It's like a miserable Sahara is what it looks like in the middle of Georgia. Big, rolly mountains, nasty pools of water everywhere just with all kind of shit in it. I mean, it's not the most pleasant place in the world, but it's fun to interact with the animals. So we buy a couple of these big barrels of food, and we're out there and we're giving it to the bison and the cows and the, you know, woolly man, whatever the fuck they have, the llamas and the ostriches that will attack you for the food, you know, it's like some of the animals get really aggressive,

but we managed to get through most of it without any damage to the car. A lot of slobber everywhere, but not damage to the car. So I was, I was thinking to myself, great, this is the right choice. I'm saying to myself, winning indeed. And I have this little tiny Honda Accord is very low to the ground, right?

And so the animals are kind of like having to bend over, put their heads all the way in the car to get the food. So imagine like a bison head, like a full grown male bison's head just stick, like I'm in the driver's side and that thing would just stick its head right into the middle of the car. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Pfft, pfft, pfft. With just like fucking shit flying everywhere.

It's like, ah, okay, here's some food. Yeah, and you can't exactly push them out of the car because they're huge animals. They're not getting out until they're ready to get out. Right? So, and when they start to get out, that's your time to drive away. So the one thing that we were all,

that her and I were really looking forward to was the giraffe exhibit. Because occasionally, they were known for their giraffes. They'd have like 10 giraffes, including a couple of babies, that were taken from wherever. It was like a rescue place, so they were taken from wherever. And if you could catch them on a good day, the giraffes would be out there and they would grab food from you. But not always, because giraffes are shy and they stay in the corner or whatever. The giraffes were out, and we were driving around a corner, we could see that the giraffes were out,

so I got really excited. I'm like, this is fantastic, you know, but everybody's just stopped trying to get the giraffe, hear giraffey, giraffey, you know, throwing food out and, you know, Mr. Giraffe, come this way. Well, giraffes don't listen to you. They're not dogs. They're not coming to you. So, the giraffes are standing near the driving lane, but they're not actually taking food from anybody. So, I pull over and I park next to this tree, and I'm just watching this all go down, because I'm like, oh, they're not really eating for any, but let's just enjoy the animal. Let's just watch and we'll enjoy.

Until one of the larger giraffes starts heading in my direction, kind of eating leaves as it goes along. And then the giraffe all of a sudden is really close to the car. But I can't see it because I'm at like its toe level and this Honda Accord, I'm looking at its knees. And so I don't want to stick my head out because I just don't want to interact with any other animals like the ostrich that's been following me for two months. That is a deadly animal. Like those things, they will peck you to death, right? Yeah. So, I'm just kind of, got my window rolled down, I'm just enjoying the fact that this

giraffe, these giraffe feet are, I don't know, let's call it 20, 10, 20 feet from me. And then, all of the sudden, the giraffe head comes right down to my level and she, I'm assuming, because I didn't see a penis, sticks her head inside of the car. I have pictures of this. Sticks her head into the car with the tongue that is about two and a half feet long. Oh yeah, their tongues are really long. Yes. And so she starts grabbing food out of this girl's bucket of food. She starts like grabbing it with her tongue, right? And then I'm now grabbing food

out of my, like she's, the head is right near me. We are looking at each other eye to eye. That's crazy. It was insane. And it was a wonderful experience. And it was like, wow, this is, I've never been this close to any kind of wild animal except for a dog and a cat, maybe, and my mouse and that one snake that I lived with for a minute that I woke up with. And so, it's got its head in there, and I am now handing her food, and she is taking her tongue, and she is wrapping it around my hand and grabbing the food. Disgusting and slimy as it was, it was very cool. Like, okay, this is awesome. This giraffe spends five minutes in the car. I mean, it's just like, moving its head around, it's like rubbing up against my face, it's taking the food. I'm like, this is incredible. Oh my God, you know, pictures are being taken. And then she takes her head out, but she's still standing in the same location. And I'm like, we're freaking out. Oh my God, that's crazy. Can you believe that just happened? That's insane.

People are like honking. They're like, that's crazy. That's so cool. Because the giraffes, we're not going in anybody else's car. So like, this is amazing. This is great. Until I start hearing a couple of minutes later on the top of the car, like a, like sandpaper on the top of the car. And I was like, what is going on up there? And so, now I have to stick my head out a little bit to look, and I see that she's got her head on the top of my car. And I'm like, what could she possibly be doing? Maybe she's licking the top of the car or something. That's really weird. I don't understand that. And then all of the sudden, the wire to the antenna of the Sirius satellite radio starts coming out of the molding of the car where they had hidden it. It's like ripping out. And I'm like, what is going, what?

And I'd stick my head out again to look, to see that she has her tongue wrapped around that little black thing. And she is like yanking it. And I'm like, oh my, she took that thing off the top of the car. I couldn't take that thing off the top of the car with my hand.

And now she's doing it with her tongue. It's amazing. She managed to rip out the entire wire. She basically took the Sirius satellite radio and just like snapped it in half. I mean, it was not the radio part, but the wire part, snapped it in half and she dropped it. And we told the people that she dropped it,

but she caused a bunch of damage to the top of the car. Not that that was adding any allure to the already shitty Honda Accord I had, but at the end of the day, that's what happened. Their tongues are very powerful, right? Very powerful. I say all this to say, I just read a story. Texas drive-through safari, the giraffe grabs toddler out of the car, encounter caught on video. A family in Texas got more than they bargained for when they took their two-year-old daughter to a drive-through safari because a giraffe snatched the kid up quite literally. The wild encounter from over the weekend was captured on camera, showing the moment

the little play little Paisley got lifted up and dropped by a hungry giraffe while she and her family were visiting. Like picked up the toddler with the mouth? Yes. Paisley was riding in the truck bed with her mom when her dad stopped so they could feed the giraffe. That's when the giant animal reached down for a bag of food the kid was holding, grabbing a hold of her shirt. The giraffe lifted Paisley in the air with its mouth, frightening the girl's parents. Fortunately, all it took to get the giraffe to let loose was Paisley's mom shouting. Paisley

fell back into her mother's arms, somehow wasn't harmed by the animal, and her dad said that, my heart stopped, my stomach dropped. It literally scared the F out of me, right? Exotic and endangered animals roam free at this facility. That's why there's a bunch of animals out and about, and visitors can drive down the path and feed the critters. Obviously things can get a little hairy though, just like it did here. Paisley holding the bag of food down by her chest when she was snatched by the shirt. It's best to hold the food pellets above your head when trying to feed giraffeies." This says TMZ like they're giraffe experts. But you can see an actual picture right here of the giraffe lifting the girl out of the truck bed.

That's unbelievable. Yeah, that is very strong. It's very scary. Are you kidding me? That's terribly frightening. Wow. Yeah, never again. Never again.

Listen, I took some of the kids down there one year and it was 170,000 degrees outside. We of course rented the van because I wasn't going to play that game twice. We of course rented the van. That van was like a nightmare in and of itself. It was basically like solitary confinement, you know what I'm saying? It was hot. It only blew hot air. It was like stuck on heat. So, it was blowing this hot air. It was like, and the buffalo would like, you know, scrape against the car and make it move. Sounds miserable. It only caused my children to scream in a terrified way. And they would like, you know, scrape against the car and make it move. It sounds miserable. It only caused my children to scream in a terrified way.

And they were like literally like taking the pellets and throwing them out of the window. Get it out. Get it out. Get away. Get away. And when the ostriches came, forget about it, the llamas, the ostriches, the lemus, the whatever the fuck they call the emus, lemu, emu, they were just scared shitless of this whole situation. Because wild animals are

wild animals. They're like, they don't have any, there's no control over them. They're just doing what they know to do. Maybe you should, maybe you and Blue should go on a little road trip down to this safari. I now sacrifice you to the giraffe. Mother giraffe. Mother giraffe. Whoops. Mother giraffe. Hold on, let's see if we can do this. Mother giraffe, I now hand you a sacrifice.

Blue. Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr. Maybe she would do well down at the safari place. Oh, she's going to be perfect. She could like, you know, keep some of the animals in line maybe. I will tell you what, all of those animals, it's like a, it's like, I don't know, a thousand acres this whole thing, right? They have a zoo in the back also that's the saddest thing you've ever seen in your entire life. But okay. And it's just a big pasture where all

these animals, they haven't separate, some of them separated for whatever reasons. But I would imagine Blue spends a day there and all those animals gather together and they're hidden in a corner somewhere. They're like, nope, not that thing. Blue's just barking at the people driving by. Rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr, rarr. I like it. Blue's not scared. I'm telling you what, for her size,

you know, there's like this, I had a dog therapist tell me what dog therapist, dog psychologist. That's how far you would take it with Blue. You don't know how many people we've been in here. I've told the stories, I'm telling you, it's an unbreakable dog. It's like that horse from one of those movies

where they try and break them, you're like horse whisperer or whatever. I'm telling you what, this is the dog that cannot be broken. She can't be trained either. There's no training, there's no breaking of this dog. No, it is what it is. So we took it so far that we did not have one, we had two dog psychologists come into the house to help us, both of which left not helping us. We actually, one of them

actually said, don't even pay me, don't worry about it. Wow. This particular one said that there is like a, they think that there is some kind of psychology in small dogs that they imagine themselves, it's like a dysmorphia, they imagine themselves to be big dogs, regardless of what size they actually are, right? So he said, I think Blue just thinks she's like a big German shepherd that's going to take over the world or whatever. She is such a little bully, such a little shit. Yeah.

But then she also can be so cute. Yeah, she slept with me last night. I was like, well, whatever. I guess. And it's all on her back. I know. She came like popping up on the bed last night. Like her little head was right there. It was like 1230 and I could hear like scurrying around on my wood floors. And then she like popped her head up above the bed and she was like, just like looking at me and I was like, all right, I guess. Want to watch the West Wing with me? You want to catch a rerun of Mr. D? What are you thinking? Baby Reindeer? What do you want to watch there, Blue? Let me know. So then I woke up this morning and she had pissed.

Of course. She had pissed in the bathroom. I'm like, well, at least she got it in the bathroom. At least it was in the bathroom this time. She's so terrible. You sure you don't want a dog? Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, like Jeff doesn't want a companion when you're here recording. We're good. No?

Yeah. Are you guys going to get any pets? Yeah. Yeah? What are you thinking guys gonna get any pets? Yeah. Yeah? What are you thinking? I think we're gonna do a dog and a cat at the same time. You're crazy. You're crazy.

So that they love each other and are raised together. A kitten and a puppy? Yes. You're gonna go to the rescue? Yes. Okay. All right, be careful about that rescue. I mean, I encourage you to get a rescue dog,

but just make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. I will. You know, I got a pointer one time that was like, it was just emaciated and within two weeks it turned into a pit bull. It was like, here's a pointer. And then when it grew, when I actually fed the thing, it was a pit bull and I was like, oh, and you know, a bitey pit bull at that. It was not the best experience in the world. But, and then a cat, huh? Like a little tabby cat? Yeah. Wow. You guys are gonna have a little family over there.

I know. Hmm. How are you gonna intertwine them with your naked cooking and stuff like that? I don't know. We'll have to figure that out. I don't know either. Yeah. Watch it. I'll have to go to another room. Watch it. Those little puppy teeth are sharp. I don't want Jeff's jingle balls getting bitten by the puppy. Or the cat. You gotta get that thing declawed. Please. We'll be safe.

Do you declaw or do you not declaw? You don't declaw cat. You got to get that thing declawed. We'll be safe. Do you declaw or do you not declaw? You don't declaw anymore. In fact, I think they put these little rubber tips on their claws if you want to go that route. Oh, really? Like nail job? Like do a little nail job? Are they permanent rubber tips on their? Oh, really? Oh, very interesting. Science has come a long way, huh? I remember when we had two cats, even though I was deathly allergic, that's where I learned I was deathly allergic because my dad brought home two cats that all of a sudden went to the farm after like three weeks. But they were declawed and so they had no claws on them. But then

the conversation has evolved, huh? People think universally that's pretty mean. What about taking a dog's vocal box out? Is that universally thought of as mean? I think there could be a case. I actually inquired about this. Special circumstances. I actually inquired about this. I wasn't going to do it, I just asked. I was making a joke to the vet. I just wanted to see, I wasn't going to do it, but if I was going to do it, how much would it cost and when was the next available appointment? That's all I was just feeling it out a little bit. And so I asked the vet, I was like, hey, Doc Colley, his name is Doc Colley. I said, hey, Doc Colley, what do you think? Vocal box removal,

they do that anymore? And he goes, they do, but only under really the like most dire of circumstance, like, you know, a dog just never stops barking. And I'm like, here you go. Yep, the candidate. Hey, doc, right here. And he said that it's kind of universally understood to not be the best thing. Right. He also goes, it doesn't work because they will find a way to make noises regardless.

And so now what you'll have is a dog that's making a twice as obnoxious bark because it doesn't have any vocal cords. And now it's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So if we think we have trouble now with Blue in these episodes, just imagine I get those voice box removes. Yeah, you just got to go with it at this point. Yeah, man, I think I'm stuck with it. All right, so listen, it's Friday. We've had a request from one of what I would consider a great fan of our super fan. I hate to say that word because it sounds so weird. Even the word fan sounds weird.

A listener, a super listener who I like very much. Josh has been texting and he says, "'Love, love, love the Mountain Monster episodes.'" And so I think it's been a minute since we've done a Mountain Monster. Yeah, it's been a minute, yeah. So it's Friday, I thought we'd go ahead and do a Mountain Monster breakdown.

I found the most recent one where they are chasing the blood sucking vampire chupacabra. Which of course, who wouldn't wanna chase the blood sucking vampire chupacabra. Do they have to come up with a new monster each time? Oh yeah, of course they do. Versus making things up at this point. I think they're like favorite, it's like us. Like sometimes they go back to Frankie B,

they go back to the wood wolves or whatever they are. you know, I don't know what they call them, dragon eaters, whatever they are, whatever mythological creature in that part of Kentucky that they happen to be chasing, you know, there are favorites and they'll go after them. But I think in general, yeah, there's new mythological creatures, cryptoids, what they call them, that they'll go out there. Cryptoids. There's a whole like, you know, there's a whole thing going on, cryptoids. And there is actually a Bigfoot camp somewhere that I would maybe like to attend at some point if we can convince ourselves to get out of the studio.

You mean like a convention or a camp? It's a camp, but they do hold a convention there. But it's like a camp, you can go there anytime, and then it's a whole thing. You go overnight and you chase Bigfoot, you make noises. I did a little investigating. Find out more. Yeah, I did a little investigating. It sounds very fascinating. You're my ride or die. So I thought, well, maybe we could do that together. Yeah. Tell me more.

Not sure I want to, but you know, if I decide to, maybe I'll do that. So let's do this. Let's take a break and when we get back, we'll break down on Mountain Monsters. Sounds good. We'll be back. I know you're already on your phone. So pull up Instagram and follow us at The Commercial Break, and then follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having

it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. The regular season is complete and the ring is set. Are you ready for NHL playoffs? Get ready for all the action and excitement with Bet MGM, the king of sportsbooks. Now's your chance to play along with all the games like never before with BetMGM's new and innovative experiences. From electric one-timers to the magical buzzer-beating breakaway, BetMGM gives you the chance to take those incredible postseason highlights to the next level. Ready to shoot the puck, get off the bench, and into the game with the king of sportsbooks? It's time for big-time hockey action with BetMGM. Your place for all things hockey.

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["Dreams of a New World"] Okey dokey, smoky pokey, we're back here with getting ready to tee up a Mountain Monsters for everybody. This one's for Josh. Josh, thanks for being such a great listener of the show. We really appreciate it. And this one's for you, buddy.

Here we go. Mountain Monsters are chasing the vampire blood sucking chupacabra. We'll find out more, obviously. So I was strolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do. And here's our boys, the mountain monsters. We just heard Bigfoot tree knocks.

That Bigfoot's in the area. Where you guys at? Mile and a half east of the trap. You drive, Willie. They're going Bigfoot. Mile and a half east of the trap. How is that a direction? Mile and a half east of the trap. I mean, I guess if you know where the trap is, then you can just figure it out, a mile and a half east of the trap. How is that a direction? Mile and a half east of the trap. I mean, I guess if you know where the trap is, then you can just figure it out,

a mile and a half east of the trap. But why are they so far apart from each other? Nicole Sussman I don't know. Jared Sussman Shouldn't they all be gathered? And by the way, we're now looking at like the unsung hero of the mountain monsters. There's a guy, I can't remember his name, Willie, I think it is, or something like that. Nicole Sussman That's not Huckleberry? Jared Sussman That's not Huckleberry. Nicole Sussman Okay. Jared Sussman No. But he looks like Huckleberry. He looks like a not Huckleberry? That's not Huckleberry. Okay. No.

But he looks like Huckleberry. He looks like a young Huckleberry. He's being groomed to take Huckleberry number seven's place. He's Huckleberry number eight. Yes, Huckleberry in training. That's right, guys. Huckleberry number eight. I'm his personal assistant.

Huckleberry number eight here, the younger version of Huckleberry. He says very little in any of these shows, but he's like the Trapper guy, I think. But when he is on camera at night, look at his pupils. He is all pupils, all pupils. It really is. Like, I don't know what's going on with him. It's just black. Yeah, it's just black. His eyes are black. It's really weird. And every, I've noticed

every time they show this guy, it's the exact same thing. Really weird. Putnam County, West Virginia. And we're going after the Chupacabra. Trapper radioed over. Oh my God. The picture of this Chupacabra. Look at that. They did like an animated.

It looks like a possum. It's a possum with fangs. It looks like a boar type thing. Oh my God. That looks weird, huh? Yeah. These animations, who do they get to do these? I know.

I don't know. Three-year-olds? I mean, honestly, guys. I mean, you're obviously a popular show. You've been on for like 10 years. You got to have some kind of budget for the show. You've got to have some kind of budget for the show. You've got to have some kind of budget for the show. You've got to have some kind of budget don't know. Three-year-olds? I mean, honestly, guys. I mean, you're obviously a popular show. You've been on for like 10 years.

You got to have some kind of budget for the creators. Yeah, it's all going to grass services. Mountain Dew. It's all going to Mountain Dew Taco Bell, baby. Please, he heard some Bigfoot tree nods. We need to hurry up and get over and give them some backup. Some Bigfoot tree nods. So wait, we're chasing the chute.

Yeah, we're hearing Big's dry humping a tree, but we're chasing the famed pirate, Chupacabra. Can't you just see like a Bigfoot that's rubbing up against the tree? Chupacabra's gotta be near. I'd say those Chupacabras are right there with that Bigfoot. Oh, they're together. And how do you know that? I'd say. I'd say, Chupacabraras gotta be near. I'd say those Chupacabras are right there with that Bigfoot. Oh, they're together. And how do you know that?

I'd say. I'd say. Chupacabras gotta be near. I don't smell his ass. I smell Chupacabra ass. How do you know that? You've never found one of these creatures. No, but they're together.

How are we supposed to trust each other? They run around and attack these crypt voids? But the mountains, the smoke wolves and the the timber lions, and all these other, they all just hang out together. Apparently. Apparently so. Bigfoot's running around following those two croppers, getting a free meal.

That's what we need, boys. They need to be home. They're getting a free meal? Forget about Bigfoot. Forget about Bigfoot. Let's just follow Bigfoot, because he's trying to get the other thing. Have you ever had fried chicken chowder?

Oh man, fried chowder is delicious. What? Oh my God. They did show a monster. They did just show a monster. That is insane. Look at that. Yep.

Wow. Definitely looks like Sesame Street circa 1983. Snuffle up again. That is snuffle up again. So just to give you some, who's listening, if the people are listening, just to give you an idea, they're riding down on one of these four wheelers that they're always driving in

because Huck's too big to walk anywhere. There, it is a mile and a half east of the trap. I guess that's a fair distance. And they start screaming and then the camera quickly pans behind them to see like a snuffleupagus puppet behind the black and white in the- Quick. Yeah, quick.

Oh, it's a two second capture. We've actually got it stopped right now. It was like the safari thing. I know. With the animal coming up to the car. I think I can actually see the end of the hand going through that puppet. Stop! Stop! What's wrong? Stop in the back! In the back! In the back! Stop! Stop! It's a man-eating monster! We gotta stop and let it take a bite out of our legs!

I know! We've gotta sacrifice our penises to the snuffle up against Puppet. We're at... I don't f**k with... It had big fangs though, whatever it was. We're in the side-by-side going to meet with Trapper. Then I feel the side-by-side shake. I hear a loud noise.

I turn around and all I can see is fangs right in my face. Ah! Ah! The sound effects. It's coming for you. Rawr! Rawr! Is that scary enough?

You like that noise? Rawr! So much mood music going on in these things. I know. Ah! Is that scary enough? You like that now he's ah! So much mood music going on in these things. I know, it's supposed to, look at that. It's clearly a puppet, clearly. Something was just in the back of the side by side. Did you see which way it went?

Which way to go, Buck? No, I just turned and looked in the back glass and it was right there, just seen things. Holy, I'm not gonna believe it. That one guy has like an old camera, a video camera out. So now they're out of this. He's calling it side by side. Why he's calling it a side by side.

I have no idea. Maybe that's the proper term for it. Side by side. Side by side. Oh, side by side. But I think it's called a four by four is what it's actually called side by side. Maybe that's because you sit side by side,

but you do that in the car too. But I call it a Honda, not a side by side. Not with a buck, that's because you sit side by side, but you do that in the car too. But I call it a Honda, not a side by side. Not with a buck, that's right. But they're now out of the side by side, because clearly that's what you do when something with fangs is chasing you. You stop and you let it eat you. But one of the guys has a video camera that my dad used to film our 1988 Disney vacation. Get out the thermals, boys! You may not believe in Bigfoot and you may not believe in Chupacabras, but you tell me what in

the world was in the back of that side beside? What does that have to do with me believing in Chupacabras or Bigfoot? That's so weird that he asked those two questions and then he said, but you tell me what was that? Let's listen to that. You know, he's just a, he's a wizard with words. Let's listen to it again. Bigfoot, and you may not believe in chupacabras, but you tell me what in the world was in the back of that side beside? A puppet. Yep. Trapper. Your production team. Hey, listen, we're on our way to you and something jumped in the back of the side beside and tried to attack us well I think it was that you've recovered well I've done lost my teeth

again yeah he really does not have teeth he looks like someone you'd see sitting in front of a cracker barrel on one of those sports swings. He's got the old- Oh yeah, unruly beard. He's got the old Hadfield and McCoy hat on, the floppy hat, not a cowboy hat, a floppy Kentucky hat. He's got a beard that has not been shaved or cleaned for years, Maybe and then he's got not a tooth in his mouth and he's got that, you know People don't have teeth in their mouth. Yeah, they kind of play with their mouth

Well, I'm in it my downline my dancers over here. I think the Bigfoot took it So you guys got a good luck with the supercobra. I'm gonna find some dentin. I'll be back back. Be back back back. Great big things. Beat you over here Trapper. You're doing alright. Yeah we're alright. We just need some backup. Yeah we're alright but I done worked up an appetite. I gotta get back to craft services quickly. Back to the toothless wonder.

I know. Okay we're coming to you just as quick as we can get there. Damn. Well damn. I know. Okay, we're coming to you just as quick as we can get there. Damn. Well, damn. We're going to get there. We're going to get there as soon as we can, as soon as we find my teeth. And then he turns around and he goes, damn, well, we should talk about it for a few minutes,

as quick as we can get there. Oh, that other guy, he's with the other guy that's the yeller. Oh yeah, the yeller. I hope he starts yelling. I hope he does, because I really am in the mood to do my yelling impression. I know, it's good. Oh. Come on, Trapper!

Holy cow! Let's go! Let's go! Holy cow! Holy cow! I got down down and I was sitting in the field and I was standing there and I lost my teeth and then over there was our trooper, got two fangs in them, and I'm a muppet puppet, much like a big bird!

Hey! Let's get there! Probably there now. Oh, hey! Over here! Hey, hey! It's us! It's not a chupacabra and a side-by-side.

It's me! With the lights on. All these cameras over here indicate that it's us. I love that. Don't shoot, it's us. Oh, you don't say, the ones with the cameras? You all right, okay? Yeah.

Everybody all right? Yeah. What was that? I don't know which way it went. I'm gonna leap down here, take a look right now. Damn, did he just shoot the gun? I think he just shot the gun. Just for no look right now. Damn, did he just shoot the gun? I think he just shot the gun.

Just for no, in no direction. No, I think something dropped out of the sky is what happened. Let's check that out again. What is that? Now there's total chaos, by the way. It really is. Everybody's running around.

There's two side by sides, whatever that is, parked in front of each other with their high beams on. Every one of them has a miner's light on their head. They're all carrying guns in no particular safety direction. They're all just swinging them around wildly. Everyone's bumping into each other. This is a classic Mountain Monsters episode.

There is no safety involved whatsoever. Something literally just tried to eat you with large fangs. I mean, clearly it was a puppet, but let's say it was real for just a second. Something just tried to attack you while you're driving down the road at 28 miles per hour and you're side by side. And what you do is you stop so that you can investigate and then you call other people with guns who swing them around wildly and they don't even know who you have to identify yourself.

Danielle Pletka Wait, I want to hear if it was a gunshot. Jared Sarkshot. Okay. It's why it went That's just sound oh, that's just them being just them being silly Trapper and the rest of the guys just showed up I don't know which way the chupacabra went, but we got to get back hot on this trail I know it left some sign around here somewhere. I'm not sure which way it went, but what do you say we we thought we were out here trying to get a chupacabra. What ended up happening is we're at a party in the woods. Sweaty, sweaty trailer. It's everywhere.

I just saw 16 chupacobbers having a moon circle over in the corner. There's two Bigfoots doing ayahuasca over there. Don't eat the brown acid. Come on, they got a more heat hit or something, something told right here. Oh yeah, right here, some weeds broke all over Trapper. Okay, here's what we got Okay here's what we got here's what we got here's what we got we got no teeth We got 12 teeth between a four of us We got four teeth We got four teeth we got five shotguns pointing in every direction and we got a bro a tipped over weed

I'm pretty sure we're in trouble now We got a tipped over weed, That's their big break in the case. I know. That's a tipped over weed. I think Buck just stepped on it and then turned around and said, look. I think Buck could step on a redwood and it would tip over. Bill, you're our tracker. You take that track.

Willie, you back him up. All right. Good deal. Yes, sir. Huck, I want you to go. Good deal. No problem. I'll volunteer to die. No problem.

You go follow him. The guy without the gun. You go follow him. All right, boss. You're the only one that doesn't have a gun. I know. He's like, all right, boss. Good idea.

You're our best shot with security, okay? Sir, give him that radio. Best shot with security? You guys have a security team? After all these years, we're just learning about this? No, it's not true, I don't believe it. Yeah, so we can keep in contact. All right, guys.

We're gonna cruise out this road, run the thermal. This is a big cove in here. Maybe we can head him off on the other side of this cove. Okay? Circle him. Circle him. This is a cove. Okay? C-Circle him. C-Circle him. This is a cove? How can you see shit?

You're in the middle of the fucking dark. They're only showing weeds. I know. It's just all tall weeds. They're in the same place they were in last episode, which is the same place they were in the other episode. At least they're not in the cornfield. Yeah, that's true.

The cornfield episodes get dangerous because they're pointing guns all over, they're shooting in random directions. All right, let's test. Yes, sir. Meanwhile, Bill and Huckleberry's gonna lead off on the trail. Trapper and the rest of the team's gonna head out

around the cove and see if we can't catch this guy. And while I'm wasting a bunch of time here talking to you, people are dying over there getting eaten by the vampire blood sucking chupacabra that's friends with Boogfoot I know I'll tell you Draper that was way too close Oh Way to go bro

I'm looking I'm looking brother Right here right here look here Willow right here Yeah, yeah right on down through here Right on down here Yeah I think these are five older guys Who are all slowly getting dementia right over here? What what did you see that made you go down that way? You're not really investigating

He went across art anyway hit this wall right here He hit this long right here then up hit this log right here. Then up to the left. Then he put a Y formation. Then the defensive lineman came over to the right and sacked him. It's like they have a whole playbook for what this animal did. I know. And is he walking over like the log? Is there a big hole underneath that?

Yeah. Cause look at the tree. There's a top of the tree over there. So this is for the security head lead. He's not being very safe about anything. First of all, second of all, how do they know it went this way? There's no signs of anything. It's the middle of the night. They can't see shit. I'm coming, brother. I'm coming. Watch your back, guys. Be ready. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Jared And making as much noise as possible when coming up on the enemy. Now by repeating, yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Every five to ten seconds, you're certain to surprise your enemy Military 101 Holy shit, what was that? It was a tree Holy shit, what was that? It was a tree. No. I see it, I see it, I see it, I see it.

Here he goes, bitch. Right there he goes. No. Nope, just Madencers clacking around like those fake teeth that go. I know. We're going this way. I see this black shadow.

Did you hear him? They just said, we're going this way, we're going that way. Great directions, listen. No. We're going this way. No. I that way. Great directions, listen. Guard! We're going this way! No, that doesn't work! I'm going this way, you go that way!

Going through the weeds, me and Wild Bill looked up and took the hot after his ass. Right there Bill, hold up, hold up! Where'd he go? Right through there! That tube of cob. Oh! To run through them woods faster than a cheater on wheels. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR before like a cheater on wheels. Right there. Here we go. Oh, come on. We saved it.

Careful, damn it. My- Careful, damn it. Here's an idea. If you want everybody to be so careful and you're all worried about your safety, get back in your four by twos, side by twos or whatever they are and go somewhere else. Why are you chasing this thing? What are you doing?

You're putting everybody in imminent danger for no reason whatsoever. For one shot of a puppet? Come on, get it together. Poor guy doesn't have any teeth. He doesn't have any teeth and you're running them around in the middle of a nightmarish scenario with cryptoids. All right, more fun to come. Let's take a break. We'll be back. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again. Here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TCBdio. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break

and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

Okay. Back here with the good old boys of the mountains. The blood sucking vampire chupacabra and somehow Bigfoot is also showed up for the special occasion. And all we've seen so far is a bad puppet and a lot of guys running around swinging guns wildly. Lower the things fast. Hey Trapper, can you hear me? Yeah, go ahead. We just picked up his trail and we come up to this high point.

And I actually got to see it and it took off through the brush. Whoopee! I actually got to see it. Whoopee! Okay, we're up on the other side of the cove. I'm going to say it. Okay, we're up on the other side of the cove. I'm gonna turn around and head back. Why? I was actually channeling in the opposite direction,

hoping to end this nightmare and get back to the- I'm here and I'm getting ready to turn back around. That's right. I was hoping to get back to the Marriott by courtyard quickly, but I guess we're gonna stay here for a while, do some more filming. The two macabre out in front of them. We got to get this side by side, turn around, get back with the team and get this thing pushed towards the trap.

Okay. So instead of then doing a cutaway, you actually took the time to do that cutaway. Found it. Now go back. do that cut. Found it. Now go back. That's right. Found it. Now let me stop, tape some, and then I'll be back. And then I'll turn it around.

I got some more leaks right here, right here, right here. Oh, what was that? There he goes, man. Right there. Right through there. I see him. I see him up ahead there. There they are.

There they are. Right there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. There's a mouse there. They are! Right there! They went right there! They're the best team! They went right towards the road right there! Me and Wild Bill, hot on his ass, headed Claire back up the road,

he crossed the road, and the rest of the team met right up with us. You see it? I see them! I see them! We were hot after him! His ass. Like a college girl's ass on a bar stool. I mean, we were so close.

And then, uh, unfortunately, uh, we just lost him. Again. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Guys, where was it? He crossed right up through and went right up through that way. He's coming right there. Right there he is.

I've learned that I think the key to a good Mountain Monsters episode is a lot of cameras just shaking around. Just moving around in multiple directions while certain noises come through, like, you know. Roar. Oh yeah, that's the formula. Yes, Chrissy. No, he didn't come my way. He had to go right up through that way.

Right towards the trap. That one guy's got the camera, he's just got it out of the building. Meanwhile, the filming is, they're filming them. There's 12 different camera angles, yet one of the mountain monsters has his, it's literally a video camera like the kind where you would put a VHS cassette in. It's 10 pounds. It takes three people to hold it.

And he's just pointing it into the darkness. Isn't that why you brought the camera, Curve? Oh, no. Mystic, mystic, what? Hey, hey, what? That son of a bitch, he's right in the trap. He's smelling that blood, let's get out of here, let's go. Load him up.

We just heard the trooper call her up on the ridge. We gotta get after him, we gotta put some heat on him and get him going towards that trap. Jump in, let's go. We gotta put some heat on him, that's right. I brought my flamethrower. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire.

We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. We're gonna set half of Weston's camp on fire. and get him going towards that trap. Jump in, let's go! We gotta put some heat on him, that's right. I brought my flamethrower. We're gonna set half of Western Virginia on fire, but we're gonna get that chupacabra.

It's the last thing I do. Or can we find my dentures too? Yippee! Blood sucking vampires out of the bed! Vampire! A vampire! Whoa, whoa! They're all stuffed into one side by side. Driving out of control at seven miles per hour.

Guaranteed they crash. When all else fails for the mountain monsters, fake a crash scene because that's what's happened a lot. We got right up to the trap and just as soon as we got there, bam, the door goes down. I know one of them at least hit the trigger off on it. Go, go, go, go, go! Did they get it? No, of course not.

I know, but they're making like they did. Yeah, well, they had time to stop and talk to the camera for catching their big find. If they had caught a blood sucking vampire chupacabra or Bigfoot, they would be the most famous people in the world, but they did not. And they're still on Travel Channel. Yeah, NBC would call with

a 45 million dollar a year deal, but that didn't happen. Wow! They are really excited. Woo! Woo! There's Huckleberry security. I got a boner for the first time since seven to two! Woo! I'm Huckleberry number seven! They've caught something in a storage container? Yes. I think what they caught is Billy with a big snuffle up against Puppet. Guys, how long do I have to be in here? It's hot.

It's hot and I'm tired. I want to go home. The Ames team catches any damn thing. They can kiss my damn hillbilly ass. Whoa, why are they so angry? Oh, there's two of them. Oh, what are they? They look like dogs.

Yeah, they're pigs. Pigs. Yeah, that's what they are, they're pigs. Oh, look out, look out, look out! The Chupacabra's busted up against the wall. It tried to bite Willie's flashlight. It's mad. Nice one, he. It tried to bite Willie's flashlight.

Look at Bog's face. I know. He's so happy. I done stick my dick in there hoping to get me a Chupacabra handjob. They call it a chupa job. And I got a nasty little scratch on my pee pee. Look at him.

He's so happy. He's like, can we get taco mail now? Yes, we're jumping in the back of the side of the side and scared me after that. It feels good to get the chupacabra in the trap. And now they're just kind of chupacabra in the trap Like patting each other Got it no calling scientists got it. Don't call the police or you know, I don't know some secret NSA facility where they Investigate blood-sucking chupacabras. Don't worry about that. Let's all give each other high fives and Billy will give us all nummies.

Nights work. All in the days work. Well, I guess we can go back to the hotel now, boys. We caught two chupacabras. Hey, Billy, you don't mind cleaning up the mess, do you? Just go ahead and let them go. No further investigation needed. We now have proof on our thermals. By the way, they're not even showing a picture of it. They're showing thermal imaging from inside this wooden trap. It's all wood. It's like siding on a house. So you know what? We have never, we don't see anything.

There's nothing to see. It's just like, you can- There's some animal in there. Some animal in there. It looks like a wild hog to me, but. Get out of the bed. Yeah! Woo! That was for you, but... Get out of the bed! Yeah! That was for you, Trapper!

This one's for you! Go fuck it! That's for you, Trapper! You get the first fucking! What are you? You go break it in and I'll be right behind you! We're gonna make Chupa-Humans! You go break it in and I'll be right behind ya! We're gonna make chooper hoomans!

Uh oh, I smell trouble. We might not have all of them in the cage, guys. Why did that guy cock his gun five separate times? I'm pretty sure you only have to do it once. I'm pretty sure you only can do it once. I don't know. Let's go, let's the tail of the tape. Let's see how many times he cocked that gun. One, two, three, four. By the way, this is so funny. If you were watching this, it'd be so funny. They make the cocking of the gun noise,

but he doesn't even move his hand. No, that was the sound effect. Just the sound effect, like, little too eager on the gun clicking. Click, click, click. Yeah. Listen, listen, listen. That son of a bitch knows we got his mates. Listen, he's coming closer, guys. You got my mates? That's my woman.

I'm coming after you. You got my base! That's my woman! I'm coming after you! Get ready to kill the one thing we've been looking to get alive for years! Quick! That son of a bitch is right out there in front of us! Holy shit! What the hell was that? The Chupacabra had guns too! Some bitches right out there in front of us. In front of us, Trapper! Holy ****!

What the hell was that? The Chupacabra had guns too! It's a shootout at the OK Corral! It's a shootout at the... It's a shootout at the CK Corral Chupacabra! Get around there Bill! Hey over here!

They're fucking out of the trap! There they go! There they go! Going over the hill guys! Oh they busted out of the trap Chrissy. Foiled again! Foiled again! Scooby Doo! I don't know Adam this time boy!

I guess we can't have an extra dinner or not with no steak dinner for us boys! There'll be no chupacabra fucking tonight. So we're meant to believe that these things got trapped into this wooden encasing and were there for a good 10 or 15 minutes just, you know, running around going crazy because they had been trapped. But luckily, while they had their backs turned, the Chupacabra managed to escape by cracking through the walls. We need a thermal! Bust it out!

Look here, look here. Look right here, huck. Oh, sorry. There's a little something. Look at that. Look at the size of it. It's a damn Bigfoot print. Look at my foot sitting in there. Bigfoot helped him bless that. Oh, yeah. Five, six inches longer. You know what they say. If you ever need help, call Bigfoot. He'll that. Oh yeah. Five, six inches long.

You know what they say, if you ever need help, call Bigfoot, he'll be there for you. I've got his number memorized for jail. We got word together, come on. Right there Bill, hold up, hold up. Get out of here, get out of here. See you guys get out. I see another gun cocking noise, and no one cocked a gun.

What do you think goes on in the production booth? I think we need extra gun cocking noises. Add to the suspense. Don't worry about where you put them. I want gun cocking all over the place. If I don't have at least 12 gun cocks in this scene, y'all are fired. He's got one chute probably right behind him, right over there. Jack picked it up on the thermal.

We got something on the thermal, come on let's go. Check him out on the thermal. As he walks at the slowest pace ever. I know, Bunk is huge. Well the other one was walking really slow too. Yeah, there's no sense of urgency here. We got him. I know. If I had gotten to Chupacabra, it would be the only, like if that was my life's passion

and work and Travel Channel had paid me millions of dollars over 30 seasons or whatever it is and I finally got something to show on camera, I would just like, I would be going as fast as I could, but these guys are just like, you know, they're yelling a lot, but they ain't going anywhere. Found up there, a damn Bigfoot track. That's what tore the hell out of the trap. You wanna hear this one? I seen the Bigfoot going into the big forest

and the chief of copper was right behind it. Going into the big forest? You wanna see this one? I done seen Bigfoot go into big lots. Did you know it's two furs on organic pineapples I saw Bigfoot get down on one knee and then he took out a big rock and I'm talking a big rock and put it right on that chupacabras finger. They ran off together.

And they ran off together to the sounds of Taylor Swift. Right through that field. That's what that's for. just throw another one in there. Just throw another gun cock in there. No one's even holding a gun at this point. Call was a damn chupacabra made that distress call. He wasn't calling those. He was calling that damn big foot in to get them out. Oh, shit! A distress call!

A distress call? A Chupacopper did to call Bigfoot. Hello? Is this Bigfoot? Bigfoot, is this Bigfoot? Yeah? Hey, it's me, Chupy! Hey, Chupy, what's up? I'm just over here, uh, stringing up some humans upside down by their feet, you know, scaring some people. Sounds great, but I got a real problem. I'm stuck in a trap that doesn't really do anything, but I need your help!

Oh yeah? Those dumbasses from Rap Monster? Those are the guys! Alright, well, I'm gonna come up over this here with a job down by the hall, and uh, just go ahead and have them scream a bunch and I'll break it out while they're not looking. Sounds like a plan! Thanks buddy! No problem! What do you think about a blowjob later on tonight? We'll talk about it! Get us out of here first! Alright, Chupy. See you soon. Bye Bigfoot. Bye.

Dumbasses. Bigfoot is using that Chupacabra the same way we use Hunt and Dove. Yep. Yeah. Wow. He went right in there and saved his health. Wow. That's how it works. I've heard a lot of things in my life, but this one is outrageous.

Smoke wolves almost got me, but you're telling me the Chupacabra has a seeing eye dog? They're loyal to him, and he's loyal to them. And when they got in trouble, they started yelling distress. He came and busted them out, just like the jailhouse break. They drink the blood if he gets the carcass for food. Ha ha, and they're both happy. Well, they got the puzzle solved, at least. Here comes the funny music.

Do-a-ling-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Here comes a joke somewhere. This team made a great discovery tonight. We know that this Bigfoot is communicating some way or another with these chupacabras and using them to hunt. Those chupacabras in that trap, they looked exactly

Like the stories I heard in the 90s Was 90s a big chupacabra year decade, I don't know I was too busy with LSD Listen Bill they ain't so awesome looking when you're staring at their teeth six inches from your neck. Oh yeah, that's true. Hey, listen, all's well that ends well. They were close. They're real close. They almost got them, Chrissy.

This time they filmed something. This is the first time we've ever seen a thing being filmed. Unfortunately it was a hand puppet and it was clear that it was a hand puppet. But hey, listen, a for effort, boys, a for effort. That's true. All I got to say is just do me a favor. I think we could add to the realism is more gun cocking. If you could get more gun cocking, more cowbell, more cowbell. I think I would be a little bit a little bit more convinced.

Just a little bit. All right. What I want to see him do really is start hunting possums. That's right in. Yes. The opossum, the Lord TCB possum that's everywhere. All right. If you have a possum related question, let us know. We'd love to hear how much you hate possums. TCB podcast.com. That's the website. You can drop us an email there. You can get your free sticker by hitting the contact us button drop down menu I want my free sticker give us your address and we'll send one off to you you can also watch all the video and listen to all the audio right there from the website we would also like to let you know that our phone number is 1-212-4333 tcb

that's 212-4333-22. We take comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. If you'd like to be on the show, we'd love to hear it. You got a story to tell, got a question to answer. Ask for TCB's advice. We call it Ask TCB. Ask Brian's mom. Mom has been, uh, mom's been under the weather for the last month or two, but she's feeling better and I think, I think she's ready for a visit. I talked to her this morning. So, uh, my, my mom will be back on. If you have a question for her, she will answer. It doesn't matter how nasty or disgusting or weird it is.

My mom will figure it out. She will give good advice. I promise you she's good at that. So hit us up on that line. Two one, two four, three, three, three TCB. Also, if you could please do us a favor, go to the Instagram, follow us at the commercial break TCB podcast on Tik TOK. Also, if you could please do us a favor, go to the Instagram, follow us at the commercial break TCB podcast on TikTok.

I should start posting that. I don't think we've made a post there in a year and we still get followers. It's good. I think we're up to seven followers now on TikTok. I actually saw a follower on TikTok. And then unbelievably, we've got like three people to follow us on youtube.com slash the commercial break. You can find all of our guest interviews and selected episodes on that YouTube channel. We sure would appreciate it if you would follow us.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all the excitement I can handle today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, Goodbye! A cow killing bastard!